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Gas Maker

I love good quality vanilla ice cream with a bunch of ground coffee on top it. Not instant coffee, but the kind you put in the coffee maker. But wow does it make you f--t!

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  1. I'll have to put some coffee grounds on my deviled eggs next time and really punish myself (and everyone else).

    3 Replies
    1. re: mrbigshotno.1

      What would the offense for this punishment be?

      1. re: JEN10

        Something truly heinous,no doubt

      2. re: mrbigshotno.1

        Hi, mrbigshotno.1:

        While you're at it, you might as well make it a Doomsday: beer, eggs, cheese, chili, corn chips and (of course) beans.

        The Doomsday so-called because it is the ultimate expression of the venerable "Dutch Oven". If you do *that* under the covers, it's the end of the world...


      3. LOL! thanks for the giggle!

        1. II'll see both the coffee and the ice cream. And I'll raise you in fart power with my mashed refried beans. Them frijoles is potent,

          4 Replies
          1. re: FoodFuser

            Hey, seriously, when you cook your own beans from the dried form, you can delete the gas. Boil for a few minutes, then drain, then start again with fresh water. The gaseous chemical is rinsed away with this method!

              1. re: sandylc

                Sandylc, I hope you're right because I'm going to give dried beans another shot using your method since they're so much better than canned and cheaper. I wonder if that would work with dried peas. I love pea soup a lot, but it hates me a lot, so I never make it anymore.

              2. re: FoodFuser

                I'll see your mashed refried beans and raise you a couple of boiled eggs.

              3. Oatmeal and dates now that is an explosive combination

                1. Of oatmeal, of eggs, and even of dates
                  I find the best flatuli is founded in beans.

                  I mash them and smash them in stout cast iron pan
                  in hopes of both melody and harmony.

                  8 Replies
                  1. re: FoodFuser

                    I don't know my daughter's "secret," but I think she's got you all beat right now. She popped out four while we were reading this thread - P. U. Oh wait - I remember now - hummus, gyro, fatoush and other Middle East treats from dinner last night...

                    1. re: bulavinaka

                      Any bean, by their nature,
                      from any cuisine, or any culture
                      will ripen the colon.

                      It don't have to be refritos that are smashed as in Mexican.
                      It can be just as simple and gentle as hummus.

                      The most surreptitious is full serving of lentils.
                      You'd think that those rascals would remain rather quiet
                      but they are prone to severe bouts of intestinal fermentation
                      that yield to a gentle but constant flatulatlion.

                      Are there, indeed, any class of legumes that are fart-free?

                      1. re: FoodFuser

                        I know that when I make Split Peas soup things can get volumous (word?).

                        1. re: JEN10

                          It is hard, with split peas,
                          to find the right phrase in gastronomy.

                          I have the same problem with Navy Bean soup
                          prepared for the Senators
                          In that sweet cafeteria communed for the Congress.

                          But then, that's a whole 'nother type of the flatulence.

                        2. re: FoodFuser

                          Wow - didn't know lentils were biogas superstars - good thing we didn't order the lentil soup as well for her - she was asking about it...

                          1. re: bulavinaka

                            Well, I think that all of us should eat beans and broccoli
                            and also much cabbage
                            No matter the maw of intestinal consequences

                            Monty Python has showed us
                            in his character of castle keeper
                            who farts in "our general direction"

                            That cabbage and broccoli and most especially beans
                            can be re-directed into intimate corners
                            Claiming all fair and no foul.

                            Thusly bring on the lentils..

                            1. re: FoodFuser

                              "That cabbage and broccoli and most especially beans
                              can be re-directed into intimate corners"

                              Is that poetry-speak for the old Dutch Oven trick?

                              1. re: EWSflash

                                I am embarrassed that I must rightly say
                                that I do not know shine of the "Dutch Oven trick".

                                One could imagine that the heft of the cast iron,
                                and clanking of lid, could hide some deep farting.

                                Even better Le Creuset with all its enamel
                                thus not at all porous
                                would clang with the slam of the lid
                                and hold cacophonous flatulent chorus.

                                But again I known not of Dutch Oven.
                                Please inform me..

                    2. I can't help but think about the time I was on a date with my now husband, and we were fairly new into the relationship, maybe 3rd date or so. I forget where we were but we were out eating somewhere. Of course me being the good little eater that I am could care less what anyone thinks about what I eat or what I order. When the server came, my husband orders his typical boring club sandwich, fries with a beer, and I not giving it a second thought, order the killer chili with onions, and a beer. You wouldn't believe the nerve of the male server and his comments to my husband who's face then got really red. I just shrugged, so sue me.

                      1. Just last night with a few good friends
                        We had a Mexican fiesta
                        which included frijoles
                        in amounts perhaps extravagant.

                        Somehow (?) conversation topics got around
                        to two cinema classics that featured same actor,
                        in this case the indubitable Slim Pickins.

                        We were debating of course Stanley Kubric's "Dr. Strangelove",
                        and the later Mel Brooks epic "Blazing Saddles".
                        We considered (of course, with intellectual distance)
                        which film ole' Slim would
                        choose etched on his epitaph:

                        The one where, hat waving and hollering,
                        he dropped a huge bomb?...
                        Or the one where he simply ingested some beans,
                        and, with posterior, let the beans do his talking?

                        I'd like to think that somehow this Triumvirate
                        settled this topic in an unknown get-together,
                        their own Mexican fiesta,
                        and finally settled the question.

                        But, as with so many historical meetings,
                        I'll "ass"ume that no documentation exists
                        Whether they settled on H-bomb or Bean-bomb
                        which leaves us gas-makers to ponder same question.

                        1. Sounds like you may be lactose intolerant.

                          2 Replies
                          1. re: mnosyne

                            Don't mean to be a party-pooter,
                            but lactose intolerance has no place in beans.

                            Read up on the enzyme Alpha-galactosidase
                            which solves many problems in legumes and cruciferis.
                            A good start is here:

                            Just recently synthesized in research from 1980's
                            Ol'e Slim P. might of loved it,
                            but then, if he'd used it,
                            he'd have missed out on one of his greatest scenes.

                            Lactose is dairy...
                            Slim P. fueled the campfire with un-cheesed cowboy beans.

                            1. re: FoodFuser

                              OP was talking about vanilla ice cream.

                          2. I like fresh ground coffee beans on ice cream too. It gets crunchy when cold. Never had any gas issues