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Gas Maker

Taffy2003 Sep 17, 2011 11:42 AM

I love good quality vanilla ice cream with a bunch of ground coffee on top it. Not instant coffee, but the kind you put in the coffee maker. But wow does it make you f--t!

  1. scubadoo97 Sep 25, 2011 03:54 AM

    I like fresh ground coffee beans on ice cream too. It gets crunchy when cold. Never had any gas issues

    1. mnosyne Sep 24, 2011 02:44 PM

      Sounds like you may be lactose intolerant.

      2 Replies
      1. re: mnosyne
        FoodFuser Sep 24, 2011 03:42 PM

        Don't mean to be a party-pooter,
        but lactose intolerance has no place in beans.

        Read up on the enzyme Alpha-galactosidase
        which solves many problems in legumes and cruciferis.
        A good start is here:

        Just recently synthesized in research from 1980's
        Ol'e Slim P. might of loved it,
        but then, if he'd used it,
        he'd have missed out on one of his greatest scenes.

        Lactose is dairy...
        Slim P. fueled the campfire with un-cheesed cowboy beans.

        1. re: FoodFuser
          mnosyne Sep 25, 2011 11:43 AM

          OP was talking about vanilla ice cream.

      2. FoodFuser Sep 24, 2011 02:13 PM

        Just last night with a few good friends
        We had a Mexican fiesta
        which included frijoles
        in amounts perhaps extravagant.

        Somehow (?) conversation topics got around
        to two cinema classics that featured same actor,
        in this case the indubitable Slim Pickins.

        We were debating of course Stanley Kubric's "Dr. Strangelove",
        and the later Mel Brooks epic "Blazing Saddles".
        We considered (of course, with intellectual distance)
        which film ole' Slim would
        choose etched on his epitaph:

        The one where, hat waving and hollering,
        he dropped a huge bomb?...
        Or the one where he simply ingested some beans,
        and, with posterior, let the beans do his talking?

        I'd like to think that somehow this Triumvirate
        settled this topic in an unknown get-together,
        their own Mexican fiesta,
        and finally settled the question.

        But, as with so many historical meetings,
        I'll "ass"ume that no documentation exists
        Whether they settled on H-bomb or Bean-bomb
        which leaves us gas-makers to ponder same question.

        1. chef chicklet Sep 19, 2011 01:41 AM

          I can't help but think about the time I was on a date with my now husband, and we were fairly new into the relationship, maybe 3rd date or so. I forget where we were but we were out eating somewhere. Of course me being the good little eater that I am could care less what anyone thinks about what I eat or what I order. When the server came, my husband orders his typical boring club sandwich, fries with a beer, and I not giving it a second thought, order the killer chili with onions, and a beer. You wouldn't believe the nerve of the male server and his comments to my husband who's face then got really red. I just shrugged, so sue me.

          1. FoodFuser Sep 17, 2011 11:17 PM

            Of oatmeal, of eggs, and even of dates
            I find the best flatuli is founded in beans.

            I mash them and smash them in stout cast iron pan
            in hopes of both melody and harmony.

            8 Replies
            1. re: FoodFuser
              bulavinaka Sep 18, 2011 08:03 AM

              I don't know my daughter's "secret," but I think she's got you all beat right now. She popped out four while we were reading this thread - P. U. Oh wait - I remember now - hummus, gyro, fatoush and other Middle East treats from dinner last night...

              1. re: bulavinaka
                FoodFuser Sep 18, 2011 09:55 AM

                Any bean, by their nature,
                from any cuisine, or any culture
                will ripen the colon.

                It don't have to be refritos that are smashed as in Mexican.
                It can be just as simple and gentle as hummus.

                The most surreptitious is full serving of lentils.
                You'd think that those rascals would remain rather quiet
                but they are prone to severe bouts of intestinal fermentation
                that yield to a gentle but constant flatulatlion.

                Are there, indeed, any class of legumes that are fart-free?

                1. re: FoodFuser
                  JEN10 Sep 18, 2011 10:20 AM

                  I know that when I make Split Peas soup things can get volumous (word?).

                  1. re: JEN10
                    FoodFuser Sep 18, 2011 12:09 PM

                    It is hard, with split peas,
                    to find the right phrase in gastronomy.

                    I have the same problem with Navy Bean soup
                    prepared for the Senators
                    In that sweet cafeteria communed for the Congress.

                    But then, that's a whole 'nother type of the flatulence.

                  2. re: FoodFuser
                    bulavinaka Sep 18, 2011 12:25 PM

                    Wow - didn't know lentils were biogas superstars - good thing we didn't order the lentil soup as well for her - she was asking about it...

                    1. re: bulavinaka
                      FoodFuser Sep 18, 2011 03:00 PM

                      Well, I think that all of us should eat beans and broccoli
                      and also much cabbage
                      No matter the maw of intestinal consequences

                      Monty Python has showed us
                      in his character of castle keeper
                      who farts in "our general direction"

                      That cabbage and broccoli and most especially beans
                      can be re-directed into intimate corners
                      Claiming all fair and no foul.

                      Thusly bring on the lentils..

                      1. re: FoodFuser
                        EWSflash Sep 18, 2011 07:14 PM

                        "That cabbage and broccoli and most especially beans
                        can be re-directed into intimate corners"

                        Is that poetry-speak for the old Dutch Oven trick?

                        1. re: EWSflash
                          FoodFuser Sep 18, 2011 08:45 PM

                          I am embarrassed that I must rightly say
                          that I do not know shine of the "Dutch Oven trick".

                          One could imagine that the heft of the cast iron,
                          and clanking of lid, could hide some deep farting.

                          Even better Le Creuset with all its enamel
                          thus not at all porous
                          would clang with the slam of the lid
                          and hold cacophonous flatulent chorus.

                          But again I known not of Dutch Oven.
                          Please inform me..

              2. JEN10 Sep 17, 2011 05:21 PM

                Oatmeal and dates now that is an explosive combination

                1. FoodFuser Sep 17, 2011 05:15 PM

                  II'll see both the coffee and the ice cream. And I'll raise you in fart power with my mashed refried beans. Them frijoles is potent,

                  4 Replies
                  1. re: FoodFuser
                    sandylc Sep 17, 2011 07:43 PM

                    Hey, seriously, when you cook your own beans from the dried form, you can delete the gas. Boil for a few minutes, then drain, then start again with fresh water. The gaseous chemical is rinsed away with this method!

                    1. re: sandylc
                      EWSflash Sep 18, 2011 07:12 PM

                      Where's the fun in that???

                      1. re: sandylc
                        noodlepoodle Sep 21, 2011 02:35 PM

                        Sandylc, I hope you're right because I'm going to give dried beans another shot using your method since they're so much better than canned and cheaper. I wonder if that would work with dried peas. I love pea soup a lot, but it hates me a lot, so I never make it anymore.

                      2. re: FoodFuser
                        Taffy2003 Sep 17, 2011 09:19 PM

                        I'll see your mashed refried beans and raise you a couple of boiled eggs.

                      3. chef chicklet Sep 17, 2011 02:47 PM

                        LOL! thanks for the giggle!

                        1. mrbigshotno.1 Sep 17, 2011 02:41 PM

                          I'll have to put some coffee grounds on my deviled eggs next time and really punish myself (and everyone else).

                          3 Replies
                          1. re: mrbigshotno.1
                            JEN10 Sep 17, 2011 04:39 PM

                            What would the offense for this punishment be?

                            1. re: JEN10
                              EWSflash Sep 18, 2011 07:12 PM

                              Something truly heinous,no doubt

                            2. re: mrbigshotno.1
                              kaleokahu Sep 18, 2011 10:04 PM

                              Hi, mrbigshotno.1:

                              While you're at it, you might as well make it a Doomsday: beer, eggs, cheese, chili, corn chips and (of course) beans.

                              The Doomsday so-called because it is the ultimate expression of the venerable "Dutch Oven". If you do *that* under the covers, it's the end of the world...


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