I have a problem
with a restaurant or any busines which when I walk in, I may purchase a great experience OR a not-so-great one -- paying the same amount, mind you. When people counsel that I the customer should talk a certain way to the servers (other than politely), take on board as my fault I get differential treatment, try again, it does not make sense to me. Yes, there are tips and pointers on say, how to get the best work from your contractor. Should people be given a brocher by EMP or another high-end inconsistent restaurant on how to elicit the high side of quality? Seems to me, yes. Otherwise, they should be consistent.
Sure, perfect consistency from any business provider is probably not possible. I find it baffling -- well, not baffling exactly -- that a large response to a negative review of certain restaurants is to query/impugn the reviewer and talk about how wonderful the restaurant is in what it "gives" to them. It reminds me of the movie with Steve Martin where the restaurant is so snooty that it gets your credit rating to decide what to permit you to order. Though -- at least in that mythical movie restaurant, I believe that Martin got what he paid for.
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A lot, not all of how people respond to you and treat you has to do with how you present yourself and your behavior. The world is made up of people with emotions and feelings, there's no changing that fact.
If you look at reviews on Yelp you will see people who trash a restaurant for treating them poorly when it's obvious from what they describe that they were behaving inappropriately or had unrealistic expectations. I think it's important for people to take a look in the mirror when they have a problem and not just blame it on someone else.
I can't speak to a situation where I might frequent a really high end restaurant. My visits to special places are infrequent, esp. now that I am retired. However, I do know that at more ordinary restaurants, frequent visits will produce varying experiences. Your server might be running on only 2 cylinders or there might be a large party at the next table which takes up his/her energy, or the food could be off somehow. It is the same as when i get my hair cut from the same stylist. I go to the same person and I have for 7 years. On occasion the cut isn't great. You just have to understand that absolute consistency is not realistic. However, if the place is consistently bad, and you aren't treated well, then I assume you reflect that in your tip. And then you vote with your feet. And plenty of other customers will too.