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greasy hangover vegan breakfast

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I've temporarily gone vegan and I'm ridiculously hung over. Eyes are peeling out of their sockets. Head throbbing. Legs shaky. The works.

A hangover of this magnitude calls for the greasiest of greasy breakfasts. Eggs, bacon, sausage, extra bacon, extra sausage, buttered toast and jam. Can't have any of it. Except the jam. Which has no grease. I need a proper greasy substitute.

Only things I can properly think of would be some kind of fried potato (hash browns, no-egg latkes, etc.) or a grilled cheese using stupid vegan no-dairy butter and daiya cheese (not as good as Kraft).

Please help: if not just for this hangover, but for all of the hangovers yet to come.

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  1. Vegan certainly doesn't have to mean healthy - something can be commerically messed with to all hell and still be vegan. Any reader not convinced should pick up some Pringles.

    Fried bananas. Fried rice with kimchi. Fried noodles with tofu, pak choy, soy, chilli and ginger. A big bowl of (eggless) pasta with non-dairy spread and plain soy yoghurt whipped in with herbs and plenty of salt. You can't have french toast, but you can have fry bread. If you want it sweet, cinannamon, sugar, splash of lemon. Savoury with garlic, tomatoes and mushrooms like a giant piece of bruschetta. Do those fried potatoes. ALL the fried potatoes. Make croquettes with mashed potato and sweetcorn. Make arancini if you have leftover risotto. Corn fritters (there is a vegan recipe out there somewhere). Olives. Make cheesless pizza with refried beans and avocado. Hell, make nachoes with refried beans and avocado. You can start adding vegan cheese to get used to it. There's a vegan place here (London) that does the worlds best garlic-veganaise - I have no idea how they make it though, maybe they whip the tears of angels?

    Also, on the not greasy but might be good front, how are you with stewed fruit and porridge? I ask because I hate it, but some people seem to love it. I'd prefer a fruit salad.

    And are you against eating fake meat? I am, but that's because I'm not even vegetarian, let alone vegan, so for me, that stuff has to taste good in its own right as I can also have the real stuff.

    Oh, just remembered nut roast. Ever make it? Keep a couple slices for the next day, because that is the ultimate hangover food.

    2 Replies
    1. re: ultimatepotato

      I'm usually anti meat substitute, but I actually really love the Morningstar breakfast patties. I've got other people hooked on them, too. There's no weird fake meat feel or taste to them. Crumble them up in some oil, sprinkle on some flour while stirring, then stir in some soy milk until it thickens. Lots of salt and pepper and serve on top of cheese polenta for a sort of vegan sausage gravy and biscuit substitute.

      1. re: katecm

        Morningstar, however, is not vegan. GimmeLean is a better substitute if you are vegan.

    2. The disadvantages of excessive drinking probably far outweigh the advantages of being a vegan or eating greasy food.

      3 Replies
      1. re: DPGood

        +1, :-(

        1. re: magiesmom

          +2- if you've gone vegan for health reasons you may have missed the boat with the excessive ethanol ingestion.

          1. re: EWSflash

            But liquor, like cheeseburgers, is LOADED with important psychological nutrients. Those essential dietary elements are harder to find in vegan foods, but thick slices of grilled eggplant and roasted corn slathered in plum preserves have some. Also roasted brussel sprouts. Also a habanero red onion lime and mango salsa can make even an unsalted piece of hardtack taste good.

      2. Hello!
        I'm a (light) meat eater, but I used to eat in a vegan co-op. My favorite hangover breakfast looks something like this:
        some sort of tofu, either scrambled like eggs (I use turmeric, nyf, and lots of s&p) or braised in a flavorful liquid and then dried, dredged in flour, and fried in oil.
        Toast is still good, use earth balance. I really like earth balance, but I understand if you don't.
        I do vegan french toast by just soaking it in almond milk, sprinkling with cinnamon and nutmeg or whatever and frying it up.
        While I was the breakfast cook for my vegan coop I would something just take whatever lentils or beans or whatever was left over, mix them with some corn meal or oats or flour to get them the right consistency and then fried them in oil to make lentil cakes. Sort of like felafel, but with leftovers. These things are killer, especially with some sort of dipping sauce (ketchup, tahini, guac, whatever).

        A personal favorite is homemade tortillas for breakfast, with tofu scramble, and fried potatoes with onions and spinach and whatever other veggies. Lots of sriracha.

        I have found that vegan breakfasts actually go a long was to curing hangovers, until meaty breakfasts. More than once I'd had a hangover completely cured by a good vegan breakfast.

        Godspeed.

        1. How about tofu, onion and pepper scramble with fried potatoes, or a breakfast taco (fry the corn tortilla) with beans and so forth, or a peanut butter and jelly panini with powdered sugar, or tostones and refried beans, or a banana and nutella egg roll?

          1 Reply
          1. re: jvanderh

            d'oh. Scratch the nutella.

          2. Forget the grease. Lots and lots of water! Then more water....most of a hangover is dehydration. Definitely have some coffee, make it strong, but compensate with more water as coffee is also dehydrating. Take tums if you have to counteract acidity...maybe some pepsid too. Eat lightly....some kind of toast with a little of your favored vegan grease (margerine, peanut butter). Do not take tylenol....the last thing you want is a drug that can damage your liver taken while its still busy detoxifying all that alcohol. If you have a bad headache, you may just have to put up with it.
            Next time when you drink a lot, make sure that you drink at least as much water (preferably more) as alcoholic beverage...drink a bottle of wine? Drink a liter of water...at least.

            1. how about something like avocado, mayo, and sprouts on toast? oatmeal with coconut milk, brown sugar, nuts and dried fruit? peanut butter or almond butter with jelly and banana, to make it even greasier you could fry it in vegetable oil. also biscuits, home made or nice or you could go out and buy pillsbury for the anticipated hangover. have the biscuit with margarine and jam, and some home fries and onions with ketchup on the side. or even tater tots. the possibilities are endless. or how about a smoothie with coconut milk ice cream and fruit?

              1 Reply
              1. re: fara

                Pillsbury biscuits aren't vegan, typically you're less likely to find commercial biscuits that are. You're better off making vegan biscuits and freezing an uncooked batch for later use.

              2. I always crave soup when I'm hungover. My favourites for such occasions are ramen and homemade lentil-sausage (you could subtract the sausage, or, I suppose, use a vegan version). Perhaps not quite greasy or breakfast-like, but that's what works for me.

                1 Reply
                1. re: BananaBirkLarsen

                  I also think soup is a great hangover food; rehydrates quickly and easy to stomach. However, an ex-bf got me into the habit of having beans with a breakfast of home fried potatoes, pan-fried tofu and salsa. The beans seem to really help soak up the alcohol.

                2. Thanks for the suggestion, guys, but jvanderh nailed it, or at least inspired the nailing.

                  Soups, tofu, etc. are great suggestions, but certainly not with the grease hit I was craving. Mexican was a great idea, but the spice was unbearable in that state of disrepair. The best vegan food, I find, isn't some kind of "odd concoction" (from a non-vegan perspective), but "ordinary food" that just happens to have no animal products in it.

                  Two slices of good white bread. Slather smooth (crucial that it's smooth) peanut butter. Slather homemade rhubarb-strawberry jam. Add banana slices. Fry in earth balance (I miss you, butter). Cut diagonally. Love.

                  3 Replies
                  1. re: biggreenmatt

                    that sounds good, but coconut oil would have been better for me than earth balance, which i don't care for.

                    1. re: magiesmom

                      Good call, mm. Funny thing is that I own a jar of the stuff and haven't used it yet. Next time, cutting the booze with a sammich fried in coconut!

                    2. re: biggreenmatt

                      Well, I feel special :-D

                      Hope you're feeling better, biggreenmatt.

                    3. I think you can actually have Jack in the Box tacos, don't think that's there's ever been meat in that taco.
                      Or make one with tofu scramble, so easy and soooo good. But then after a fun night I like spicy food rather than greasy, that'd do me in for sure.
                      Whatever is in Jacks' taco, soy could easily cover for.

                      1 Reply
                      1. re: chef chicklet

                        8^)