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Dieting recipe help - I need to loose weight without starving him

So I need to lose weight.... My waist is slowly out growing my pants. My problem is that my SO is almost too skinny. Most diets/shows/healthy eating programs assume that the whole household could benefit from low calorie/fat recipes... not mine.
When I was single, I could loose weight no problem... I would make vats of low calorie spicy flavorful soups that would easily fill me up. I would keep my place empty of all other foods to resist temptation. However, now I am cooking for both of us (he doesn't cook), and if I make a soup like I used to then he eats it and feels weak or tired from the lack of calories. He has a super metabolism and needs lots of calories.
I could send him out for his own food, but then he winds up eating things I love in front of me like tacos or ramen, etc.., and it makes dieting really painful (and it also means we're spending more on food). I struggle with will power and temptation.

The only thing I've found that sort of works is if I make a soup like a gumbo or cioppino where he adds a lot of rice and bread (the normal accompaniments) and I can just eat the soup. Then I have only cooked one meal, I am not tempted by other food, and he is full from all the extra carbs. However, I need more ideas recipes for things like these where we can eat the same things, but he can add extra carbs. This is where I need your help! I can't think of very many, and we want variety.

Also, if anyone has any other approaches to my dilemma or has faced a similar dilemma, I'd love to hear about it!


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  1. Try this web site
    Great lightened up recipes, and they are so good that your SO will eat an extra portion!

    3 Replies
    1. re: roxlet

      Unfortunately that doesn't work. He never eats a lot in one sitting and stops eating when his is full. Quantity wise I can eat more in one sitting than him. Thanks.

      1. re: lrealml

        Well, the recipes there are fantastic, so take a look and there may be a way to "fatten up" his portion.

        1. re: roxlet

          +1 on Skinnytaste. Her recipes are fabulous! And good for the entire family. One thing that I also do is add salads wherever possible to my meals.....makes portion control of the other stuff not so difficult.

    2. Why not focus on protein? That will keep you satiated for longer and he can add in carbs as he pleases. Remember you don't need to starve yourself to go on a diet (like extreme low cal diets, because the quickly you lose the weight, the easier it is to put back on). If you are interested, go to leighpeele.com and learn about the science behind fat loss. It's all about tracking what you eat (however boring that may be) but it's the best (and i guess, healthiest) way to do it. Fat loss isn't healthy, but it should only for a short period of time. I guess more than anything else, also look at your eating habits. Good luck!

      1. I make 1 protein, 1 starch, 1 vegetable and everyone eats as much of what they want. For you, fill the plate, 1/2 with vegetables, 1/4 w/ protein, 1/4 with starch. Eat as many vegetables as possible. fill up on protein more sparingly and not much on starch. He can eat what he wants.

        5 Replies
        1. re: chowser

          Good Idea... I normally make one pot meals like pastas and stews with all the veggies, starches, and proteins in one dish. Dividing it up would be more work, but perhaps I could control my portions and proportions better.


          1. re: lrealml

            When I make a one pot meal, I always have a big side of roast vegetables/salad/etc. so I have something to eat, if I want more. Good luck with it! I was in the same position w/ my husband, but the years have caught up to him.

            1. re: lrealml

              that's what i was going to say. you will just have to really exercise control. when i'm being "good" and losing weight, my BF and i cook/eat the same thing, but my portion sizes are just much smaller. buttery mashed potatoes? 3 tbls for me, a heaping mound for him. bacon on that BLT? 3 or 4 stips for him, 2 for me. you will be surprised at how soon the reduced amount of anything is actually enough for you.

              1. re: mariacarmen

                "you will be surprised at how soon the reduced amount of anything is actually enough for you."

                Exactly--and it's why I make sure what I eat is delicious if it's non-nutritional. There's no point in eating cake that's not delicious. And if it is, you can savor it and eat less and be satisfied.

          2. This isn't a proper chowhound response, but would he eat anything like protein bars or granola bars to keep him going between meals? That would at least keep him from feeling weak/tired without tempting you with too much extra food. I have a friend with a super metabolism like that, and he carries around hard pretzels and chocolate that he snacks on all day.

            1 Reply
            1. re: LabLady

              He already does eat granola/ granola bars as snacks throughout the day (only gourmet ones though :) of course)... I just asked him and he is willing to increase his snacking during the day... this will definitely help some! Thanks!

            2. Make a protein based "pasta" sauce or fish dish, and serve yours over spaghetti squash and his over real pasta.

              Not totally dinner-y, but for once in a while... egg white omelettes with roasted veg and turkey bacon for you. His with real eggs, milk/cream cheese, cheese, etc. and real bacon and toast.

              Make fish - yours spice crusted, his nut crusted, etc.

              Enchiladas with lo carb tortillas for you, homemade enchilada sauce, and fill yours with chicken and veggies, his with chicken cheese whatever.

              Salmon croquettes and a cream soup - leave out cream for yours or use almond milk. serve his finished with cream and crusty bread.

              Stuffed baked potatoes or yams.... top his with more stuff - butter sour cream, etc yours with veggies. Serve with Roast chicken.

              Stacked Eggplant Parmesan - leave the cheese off of yours and supplement with herbs and caramelized onions

              ...don't know if any of those help... i have more if they do...

              1. I think the pot of spicy soup will still work. You can stir heavy cream into his bowl at the table, or dish yours out and cook a couple of eggs in his portion for the last couple minutes. Also, if you keep the soup ingredients in big pieces, you can scoop selectively. Say you made lentil, sausage, and potato soup but used large pieces of potatoes and sausage. You could have a bowl of mostly lentil soup and he could have more carbs and fat. You could also make some garlic infused oil (lots of oil, lots of garlic, cook gently 10 min, separate liquid from solid) then you have low-fat flavor to add to the pot, in the form of the drained garlic, and you can drizzle the oil on his food.

                1. I recently lost 20 pounds while my skinny husband didn't need to lose an ounce. Honestly, it is all about portion control. We ate the same things, I just ate less of it. I counted calories in order to lose the weight (and more importantly, keep it off). I have always eaten in a healthy manner- plenty of vegetables, mainly lean proteins, lots of fiber, etc. My portion sizes just got out of control because I was eating as much as my husband, who is about 8" taller than I am. If I make a meal, I will sometimes eat half as much as he does and just take the leftovers to work. Also, he will many times add a potato side dish (something easy like a baked potato) if I don't want that much food in one sitting.

                  4 Replies
                  1. re: mels

                    I'm so happy to see this thread, can I EVER relate! My husband is a full foot taller than I, and a powerlifter as well as an endurance athlete. Fortunately, I'm a cyclist too, or I seriously would weigh a ton. It's always been a challenge for me not to eat as much as he does. He's a relatively lean 240, and you can imagine how high that metabolism is with all that calorie-buring muscle.

                    Then, to make things worse, he's recently had gall bladder surgery and some pretty scary post-surgery complications. He's lost 15 pounds. So here I am in the position of trying to loose a few pounds to look respectable at the beach, while he's trying to gain weight. Willpower is not my strong suit. I hope to hear lots more good suggestions.

                    The only things that have worked for me in the least are:
                    1. Exactly as described above, add a potato dish (baked, mashed) to his meal and skip it entirely.
                    2. He likes sandwiches, so I'll make him a grilled chick sandwich and eat my sans bread.
                    3. Make him food I don't like. Unfortunately, there's not much of that, but pumpkin pie works.
                    4. Implementing a no-tolerance policy for snacks. If he sits down w/ a plethora of post-dinner snacks, I have to say "no" to ALL of them. because "just one" starts a downhill slide....

                    1. re: danna

                      Wow, that sounds difficult. I hope your husband recovers fully.

                      I love the sandwich idea! I now feel silly for not thinking of it myself :) since I never eat the top bun on a hamburger anyway..... I see some lean burgers in our future.

                      There are hardly any foods that I don't like, so I'm with you on your number 3, but I am lucky that I'm not much of a snacker.

                    2. re: mels

                      @Emme - Thanks for the ideas. I tried the spaghetti squash thing years ago, but couldn't get it to taste good... maybe I did something wrong.

                      @jvanderh - Love the sausage and garlic/garlic oil ideas... I've done the heavy cream thing but then I start to worry that I'm going to give him heart disease :). I added extra olive oil to his gazpacho last night.

                      @mels - Congrats on you weight loss, I do need to watch my portion size.. but it is sometimes not enough for me to just watch my portions because I hate being hungry. I think I need change what I'm eating/cooking (less caloricly dense foods for me).

                      My SO has some traits that make this extra difficult. Like he doesn't like a lot of stuff on food (cheese, sour cream, butter, etc..); however of course I do :). Fortunately (for now) he loves bacon...

                      1. re: mels

                        Did you use weight watchers as a diet guide? or did you just cut your portions. I find I have to cut fat too or forget the portion control or I'll keep eating! I like my own cooking too much and I have a tendency to make my favorite foods, that's one of my biggest problems. Would you say you're sticking to around 1200 calories per day? I get so frustrated with myself!

                      2. I hate to be the unpopular voice here but this sounds like something you need to talk through with your SO.

                        He's an adult and should be capable of taking notice of his hunger cues and responding to them. I suggest that you talk with him about what you want to do and ask how he thinks he will manage this. Does he want you to make extra rice/pasta or whatever to go with a meal so he can eat more as needed? Would he be happy to keep snacks at his place of work so that they are out of your way but ready to give him extra energy? Basically, he needs to be prepared to support you and deal with any extra food he needs to eat without too much babying from you.

                        FWIW, I have noticed that most people who diet in a way that is extremely different from their normal habits end up gaining back weight. The most successful people seem to be those who make permanent life changes. As well as making healthier choices, this also includes addressing emotional/ personal issues that can lead to over eating. These people don't give up all their favourite foods. Some foods they may well decide to cut out for good, but others they learn to consume in moderation. This approach can take longer and be harder but it will stay with you for life.

                        I hope you don't take this the wrong way but if you find it too tempting if people around you eat foods that you want but don't feel that you "should" eat, then maybe this is something you might benefit from addressing. You shouldn't have to feel guilty and confused about what is "ok" to eat. Food is fuel but should be enjoyable too!

                        I wish you all the best, whatever you decide to do.

                        6 Replies
                        1. re: Muchlove

                          We have talked about it many many times (actually about 4 times this week), and he is willing do do anything I need him to do to help me. I just don't want him going back to how he ate when was single (take out and frozen pizza) nor do I want us eating separately nor do I want to constantly be tempted. And like I've said, he can't really eat a lot in one sitting... (there are always extras that I save for lunches and future dinners). I was just wanting some outside ideas/approaches to our problem, and I've had lots of great suggestions here!

                          Thank you for your concern Muchlove....I think your heart is in the right place, and I think that some your observations/assumptions are true about some people, but none of them are true about me. The truth is I'm technically not overweight (I was at one point in my life, but I made those lifestyle changes you mention). I've just had a lot of company/vacations this summer and have been "bad" more than I would normally allow myself (by doing things perfecting my homemade pasta), and now I am planning a trip to the beach, but my clothes and suit are too tight.

                          Also, I am not sure, but I think that you're saying that "if you find it too tempting if people around you eat foods that you want but don't feel that you "should" eat" that you" that have some "emotional/ personal issues" . If that is what you are saying, then I strongly disagree. I think that being tempted by delicious food around me could also just be because I am a food obsessed chowhound (which is why I posted on this forum and not some diet forum).

                          1. re: lrealml

                            I have to agree with you there. I think surrounding yourself with fatty, sweet foods and not eating them is infinitely more likely to signal emotional problems. The instinct to eat high calorie foods is entirely natural. I consider controlling your food environment to be pretty crucial, and the purpose is precisely to minimize the struggle between your desire to eat and your guilt about the results.

                            1. re: lrealml

                              Please don't be offended, I'm not saying there's anything "wrong" with you. It's just that sometimes if people have problems with "temptation" then they can have better long term success by working out strategies for that other than cutting out certain foods altogether. So by that I mean doing things like learning to eat just one of something (like a cookie) and being genuinely happy and satisfied with that.

                              Many many people have minor food issues and there's no need to be ashamed. I'm a huge food lover too and I know that sometimes I eat for emotional reasons or can't resist certain foods even though I don't need them. If you're a Chowhounder it probably means food is very important to you and of course with that may come a likelihood for turning to food to feel good. Pretty much everyone has something in their lives like that (smoking, watching TV, exercising, going off on their own for long periods of time, drinking, sex, going on the internet, music, dance, travel, high adreneline sports, etc.) which they use to improve their mood. Nothing wrong with that some or depending on what your particular habit is even a lot of the time - there's no need to be ashamed of pleasure. But some habits are straight out bad for you and some are bad in excess. Food is one of those that is not helpful in excess and it can be helpful to learn to turn that impluse off sometimes or get a bit of control over it!

                              I hope you see I am just trying to be helpful and friendly here. We all have something in our lives that's not perfect!

                              1. re: lrealml

                                I'm a diabetic and I found one of the keys to healthy eating is to be hungry but never starving. That way you don't feel the need to eat huge portions in one sitting. Snack away but controlled snacking. I never let myself got longer than 3 hours without eating. A few of my favs include:

                                Sugar snap peas with Tzatziki
                                Fruit with a yogurt dipping sauce (I do vanilla, cinnamon and splenda)
                                Yolk free egg salad (the dressing is made with yogurt) in a lettuce cup
                                Lean ham and lowfat string cheese

                                1. re: Dcfoodblog

                                  That egg salad is a really good idea. What else do you like in it?

                                  1. re: invinotheresverde

                                    My fav is Greek style - dill, lots of black pepper, scallions, lemon juice and a touch of salt. You can even strain the yogurt the night before to get a thicker consistency. I have done it with curry powder, diced red chile (not the super hot kind), garlic and ginger.

                            2. Put cheese on everything he eats. It certainly helps me keep the weight on. Ahem.

                              In more slightly more serious way, I agree with the others about protein and portion control. In terms of jacking up his intake of energy without forcing massive portions and saturated fat on him, try adding nuts and seeds to salads or make snack bags out of the same - almonds, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds. Dress steamed vegetables in heart healthy oils for him and lemon and chilli for you. The low-cal soups that you like can be doctored for him with the suggestion made above - I'd use a dollop of greek yoghurt and have plenty of brown or wild rice ready to stir in.

                              To up the energy but keep the sizes down, try doubling his protein intake to yours - i.e. say you eat chicken drumsticks. 1 for you, 2 for him (also extras for his lunch the next day). Do you eat fish? Same thing - ask your fishmonger for 3 portions the same size, or 1 large and 1 small. While buying and cooking in bulk can be economical, it can be a bit of a stumbling block for diets unless you are able to leave the 'leftovers' for him to snack on at his leisure. I've found that I can still cook in bulk, but I have to portion things off once they've cooled - if I leave it all in one big container I take more than I need.

                              1. We have a similar situation in my house. My husband is tall and runs a lot. I'm rather squat and don't run at all. I cook several times a week from http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/he...
                                My husband basically eats 2 portions in one sitting, while I eat one and save the 4th for lunch. Or I doctor his portion with extra carbs, nuts, cheese, cream, etc. And mine with extra veggies.

                                1. I am in a similar situation - losing weight with Weight Watchers while my husband, a Marine, can literally look at food and lose weight. However, he's gained about 45lbs since boot camp which as a wife, makes me happy - this gives him a good cushion for deployments where he loses 20lbs easily without trying. He is a pescetarian and I'm a flexitarian....which mean most of the time, I cook vegetarian. Yes, a vegetarian Marine - where'd I find THAT one?

                                  At some point, you had to realize that his food issues can't impact you. I've decided to make what is healthy for me, and in return, it's ultimately healthy for my husband as well. For things like burger night, I make extra baked french fries and give him two patties and lots of fries, pasta night, he just eats more...stir fry, he gets more of the tofu and I get more of the veggies. And once a week (when he's home) I make him fish, and me chicken. I eat half the piece of chicken and bring the rest to work the next day.

                                  Skinnytaste is a great resource because the foundation of the recipes is great. For example, her skinny tuna noodle casserole is GREAT. For my husband, when I make it, I serve it to him with fresh rolls on the side. I made tacos, but serve mine on a big bed of romaine with baked tortilla chips crunched in, and his in typical fried shells. French onion soup? He gets lots of cheese baked in, I get cheese "crisps" floating on top

                                  You still have the same nutritional needs as your husband, he just needs to eat more...and you need to come to terms with the fact that him gaining weight is something that might not happen.

                                  1. My view is that you can both eat the same thing, but you just have to limit your portion size and fat intake. For example, you can both have tacos, but he may down three while you do one. He may have gobs of gaucamole, sour cream and cheese. You may limit yourself to a teaspoon or less of each. However, you can add extra tomatoes, salsa and lettuce.

                                    Three simple points to do...
                                    1) Portion control
                                    2) Cut out junk food and fats (like cream, butter and mayo), but do increase fruits and veg consumption.
                                    3) Exercise more and include a little weight training

                                    7 Replies
                                    1. re: dave_c

                                      agreed...and in the end, for me at least, it comes down to #1.

                                      Last night, as an example, after eating grilled chicken breast, fresh from the farmer's market corn and butterbeans, my own home grown tomatoes and baby arugula, bing cherries and watermelon, I staggered to the kitchen uncomfortably full. You CAN get fat on fruits and vegetables...if you eat enough of them! I'm gonna have to control that or else get a food scale! :-)

                                      1. re: danna

                                        It sounds like you stuffed yourself with veg and fruit. I'd say that's a great way to stuff yourself. If you kept the dressings to a minimum, you probably had a 500 to 600 calorie meal.

                                        I cheeseburger and a coke is around 600 calories.

                                        1. re: danna

                                          I think you can eat too much fruit! I am proving it! I am a fruitaholic in the summer (our wonderful markets here are at fault). Flats of strawberries, peaches, pluots, melons and tomatoes that taste like candy.... making myself hungry.

                                          1. re: lrealml

                                            I love summer for the fruits and never deny myself because they're in season and so good. I know I won't have that the other months of the year. My goal every year is to try to OD on cherries. Hasn't happened yet.

                                            1. re: chowser

                                              You sound like me... although my goal this summer was to eat my weight in cherries since I found out that ODing is not possible. Cherries are my absolute favorite! The season is over, but I still have a few pounds in my fridge.

                                              1. re: lrealml

                                                The end of cherry season is something I grieve each year.

                                          2. re: danna

                                            My general rule of thumb (since it sounds like my household is similar to yours) is, as I said, eat 1/2 plate of vegetables, 1/4 meat, 1/4 starch. If I want more, I first eat another serving of vegetables. Then, if I'm still hungry, I have some more protein. If I want more food, I get more vegetables, wait, then, I'll add starch. I can't remember the last time I got more starch. Vegetables are filling!

                                        2. I do all the cooking for me and my skinny husband. We also eat dinner out once a week. We pretty much eat the same food, I just eat less of it. It's all about portion control for me. I never ate junk food or drank soda so the only habit I changed was my portion size. For example, if I roast a whole chicken, saute some veggies, make some mashed potatoes and a salad, then I will have a lot of veggies, about 5 ounces of the chicken, no potatoes and all the salad I want. (I don't like salad dressing so no extra calories there.) My husband can eat all he wants. If I feel like having a carnitas burrito from the Mission district, I will. But instead of eating all of it, I will have a third and save the rest for other meals. Everyone is different but this approach has worked well for me. I've lost 30 pounds in the last 4 months (down from size 14 to 8).

                                          1 Reply
                                          1. Read 4 hour body....in general:

                                            avoid white foods - rice, pasta, potatoes, refined carbs
                                            try and also avoid sugars - including fruit, regular pop
                                            eat more proteins especially at breakfast
                                            I also eat slow carbs like steel cut oats (although 4 hour body says otherwise)
                                            one day a week....eat whatever you want.

                                            starving yourself by cutting calories or restricting portions is bad....makes your body store fat

                                            2 Replies
                                            1. re: LUV_TO_EAT

                                              I am a bit skeptical of diet books... I'm more of a health/medical journal junkie, but I agree with most of that advise.... disagree about the fruit though. I probably eat a bit too much fruit, but a whole cup of strawberries is only 49 calories and quite filling...
                                              I definitely believe in taking a day off every week and eating what you want (even when I was really overweight).... except from unnatural processed foods. It may seem crazy, but I believe it is healthier to eat a tbsp or two of butter than drink a diet soda or eat anything that contains things I can't pronounce. .

                                              1. re: LUV_TO_EAT

                                                Boy do I agree. Cook a normal range of foods, but avoid all white foods yourself, period. It works. I've been where you're at and was extremely frustrated until I took responsibility for what I ate, period. Tell your DH he is responsible and if he doesn't like what you have prepared, he will have to take on that part for himself.

                                                You cannot be responsible for what he eats or does not eat. It really is as simple as that. Just offer heathful nutritious choices.

                                              2. Think it's all about portion control for you, and you may want to do the opposite with the snacking. Increase your intake of snacks so that you are not as hungry for mealtime. Your snacks should be things that are nutritious and low calorie, and full of fibre. Carrots, celery, cucumbers, with something like a dip of puréed white beans. Low fat Greek yogurt. Calorie nuts, like almonds or pistachios. A piece of fruit. Drink water, water and more water.

                                                You can then eat a meal of what you like, but make it mostly vegetables, a little bit of whole grain carbs, and only 4 ounces or less of lean meat.

                                                You should also eat breakfast. Oatmeal is filling and satisfying. I love mine savory, made with a good chicken stock, garlic, Ginger, soy and even green onions. Or even the veggies, or left over curry from the night before mixed in.

                                                That's my two cents. :) I'm not very good at the exercise thing, so I have to really limit myself on portion control. That's always worked with me, of course every one is different. Good luck to you.

                                                1. I followed a diet that actually worked well. Eat 6 times a day, but small portions--usually two oz of meat, with a side of vegetables...DO NOT USE ANY SALT, drink lots of water. For SO, he/she can salt when eating if they want and they don't have to eat a smaller portion. If SO would like to join you, then just make their portion size about 4 oz of meat plus vege. etc. One thing about the diet--if you eat 6 times a day, if you are full at the next meal time-eat less at the next feeding time, if you are hungry eat more until you are eating but are neither full nor hungry at each feeding time. this speeds up your metabolism and I literally lost 13lbs the first week and was never hungry. The next 5 weeks that I was on this type of eating, I lost 2-3lbs per week.

                                                  2 Replies
                                                  1. re: ROCKLES

                                                    @Matahari22 - Savory oatmeal! how strange! but it actually sounds good. I eat steel cut oatmeal for breakfast most days, but normally with buttermilk, fruit and a bit of brown sugar or agave.... perhaps I will consider trying the savory.

                                                    @ROCKLES - I don't think the no salt thing is healthy... salt is an essential nutrient and there are no solid studies proving it is unhealthy. Your body needs it (not to mention that food tastes gross without it). The other part of your plan is what actually helped you loose weight IMO. Congrats on your success.

                                                    1. re: lrealml

                                                      Irealml, just had some for brunch today. I sautéed 1/2 an onion, 3 mushroom caps, and a small carrot, 1/2 cup of oatmeal, 1 cup stock and green onions to garnish.

                                                      If you search here in chowhound, there are a few threads on savory oatmeal. That's how I ended up finding chowhound. Not a fan on sweet oatmeal because I don't want to add a lot of sweet stuff to it to make it edible for me. I am wanting to add sugar besides the fruit, and that makes it less heathy. Rarely I will have sweet oatmeal. With a mashed banana and strawberries, cooked with whole milk. Less calories in the savory one. :)

                                                  2. you don't eat all three meals together, do you? I'm in the same boat, and I've come up with a great solution: I save most of my calories for dinner. (I know this goes against common wisdom, but it works for me. I don't like going to bed hungry.) I eat oatmeal for breakfast, light soup for lunch, fiber one for snacks, and then I have enough calories left for a decent -- albeit portion controlled -- helping of a normal dinner. Get a scale and weigh out your portion.
                                                    Make things like pork tenderloin, chicken stir fries, etc... and avoid things based on cheese and milk.
                                                    Boat-loads of cardio will give you a lot more wiggle room too....

                                                    1. We had a nice salad Nicoise for dinner with varying amounts of grilled tuna, dressing, olives and potatoes. The rest was mostly the same: lettuce, tomatoes, green beans, beets. Worked well. I could have added some garlic bread, but that would have been too hard to resist, so no go.

                                                      1. Irealml - i don't know if you've seen this thread (and the 3 before it) - http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/806541 - or if you mentioned above that you'd already tried WW and don't want to go there (i didn't re-read all the posts tonight) but there are a lot of really good tips there, even if you're not a member of WW. But, to the point, WW is all about portion control.

                                                        1 Reply
                                                        1. re: mariacarmen

                                                          Thanks, but I'm not sure that I would get anything out of WW (especially since I'm not technically overweight); although, I have looked at most of the threads on chowhound for recipe ideas and think it is great that you all have a good support system here.... But, since the WW recipes wouldn't work for my SO (I can't stick to a recipe anyway) and are more caloric than I would eat on my own diet, I don't think it is for me. Also, I cook a lot of strange things that are surely not in their point system.

                                                          Fortunately, I don't really struggle much with portion control, resisting desserts (I have a Fraiche and a Harmony yogurt nearby, so no need to even resist), or a lot of the normal things others struggle with... My problem is really with "being good" and not cooking with all the butter and cream that I really want to cook with, not going out as much and indulging, and with what I put in my OP, keeping my SO fed without sacrificing our dinners together.

                                                          So far I have used some of the suggestions on this thread and am planning to use more... One night I made him snack a lot and eat a big lunch; then I made gazpacho and socca topped with tomatoes and a fava bean, mint, and ricotta puree. He had half the socca and I had a quarter. He also got an extra tbsp of EVOO in his gazpacho. I also made a huge pot of gumbo with chicken, sausage, and a lot of greens... he gets 90% of the sausage and adds rice. I have been eating large salads for lunch.
                                                          So far I have lost about half an inch (even though I cheated a few times b/c it was my bday). I hope to loose two more before the holidays. I plan on trying more of the ideas this week. So once again, thanks everyone

                                                        2. I'm in the opposite situation. My husband is a perpetual dieter, I'm thin, a runner and the cook.

                                                          After many years of yo-yo fad dieting, I've taken over with his permission. He wears an arm band that tracks calories burned, and has a database of lunch places where he knows the calories (can't pack a lunch). I make 500 calorie dinners with real food (no fake sugar, no fake fats) — I weigh everything for calculation. It works out that we eat mostly protein and low(er) calorie vegetables, so very little corn or root vegetables, and a touch of cheese/butter/dairy. For his snacks I stock the fridge with 2% plain greek yogurt, string cheese, apple sauce and occasionally pudding.

                                                          It will be a year in October, and despite a heavy travel schedule, he's lost weight. And he's happy with the plan, and, after some initial frustration with the slow weight loss, pleased with the results. The goal is a life change, no more fad diets.

                                                          As for me, I pack high-calorie breakfasts and lunches to take to work: steel cut oats with nuts, dried fruit and stir in either an egg or heavy cream. Lunches are sandwiches with a whole small avocado, or several pb&j (heavy on the pb), heavy soups, etc.

                                                          Occasionally, if I make something like a brothy soup for dinner, I'll make myself a side of grilled cheese. But I try not to serve "his and hers" dinners — I realized long ago that just doesn't work for him.

                                                          Good luck with your weight loss!

                                                          1. You've gotten good advice. How I do it is, I cook for both of us (healthy) and give Mr. Sueatmo his very own carb. If it is brown rice, I will eat a little of that, but I don't fix myself potato ever. Also I've cut way down on pasta. I eat pasta maybe 2 times a year. now. If your SO wants pasta, I suggest eating out, so you can order fish. I will make soup I can eat, but I don't add carb to it. He like to have crackers or chips with his soup, so he gets his carb. Also, investigate low carb breads, so you can have bread too--in moderation of course. When I make us BLTs, I use my bread for my sandwich, and he get his bread for his. I also make us French toast with separate breads. I use sf syrup--in moderation--and he uses maple. You can also make entree salads, adding protein such as chicken, salmon, leftover roast, etc. Dress to please yourself. Have rolls or crackers for him. The advice to make sure he has enough protein for satiety is very good.

                                                            1. I forgot to mention another technique I use. If I stir-fry, for instance, I will put Mr. Sueatmo's portion over rice, but put my portion over shredded lettuce.