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What is the most ridiculous recipe suggestion you have ever read on the "back of the box"?

I think the funniest recipe I have ever read was for "Cinnabon French Toast". Yes, you would have to dip a gooey Cinnabon roll into an egg batter, and then fry it to make it. It might just kill you.

Boxes of cereal and crackers often have some unusual, if not downright disgusting, suggestions on how to use more product. What is the worst recipe suggestion you have seen on any food package?

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  1. To pour a can of Chunky soup over some carbohydrate or another and try to pass it off as dinner.

    3 Replies
    1. re: mamachef

      Umm. You forgot the French's onions. They give it that extra something.

        1. re: pine time

          Perhaps if I'd done that they might've given it a go.

    2. I eat a really high fiber cereal called Smart Bran by Nature's Path. There were some recipes printed on the inside of the carton. I believe text on the box mentioned this. So after consuming the cereal, I tore open the box. There were some recipes all right. Printed so faintly on the dark inside surface of the box that I couldn't read them! I couldn't even make out the recipe titles!

      2 Replies
      1. re: sueatmo

        Offtopic slightly, but one of my most prized possessions is a hang tag from a Bertolli olive oil bottle. It's a form to fill out and send in to get a book of recipes. It's printed in white type on a dark green background …

        1. Not so much a recipe suggestion as it is 'lost in translation' instructions - I buy packs of dried ramen noodles from my local asian supermarket. The english instructions tell me to boil them furiously for 8 minutes, then stir, and boil for another 2. Then I am to add all of the meats I would like to eat with a vegetable and boil again. The final step is to add seasoning to make it taste.

          Thankfully I never needed to use the instructions, but I can't imagine what people would think if they'd followed them to the letter as a learner.

          2 Replies
          1. re: ultimatepotato

            Prolly that you have no concept of al dente, or that you reaaaaalllly like mooshy foodstuffs. :)

            1. In the early 90's,Land O' Lakes unsalted BUTTER pound box.Was a recipe for oatmeal-raisin
              cookies on the inside of the box.No butter in the ingredient list,instead MARGERINE.

              Called the 800#,? me-what gives ? answer,isn't there a coupon for our new,healthy non-butter product in the box? me,no ..We will be glad to send you some coupons.Me,no thanks,butter is my preferred only choice.The customer service rep was ? that I still used butter considering the health risks etc.All while her paycheck is signed by a BUTTER company.

              I was annoyed enough to not have bought LoL butter since.

              21 Replies
              1. re: lcool

                That's funny.

                I thought of another one: Ritz Crackers' "Mock Apple Pie". It had no apples.

                1. re: RGC1982

                  please,what is "Mock Apple Pie"

                  1. re: lcool

                    It used Ritz crackers instead of Apples. I remember seeing the recipe on the box but not the exact ingredients, but as I recall it had a ton of sugar and cinnamon in it as well as, obviously, a lot of Ritzes. Still seems to me it would be awfully salty.

                    1. re: acgold7

                      my question was literal,not a definition question about mock
                      I was curious,with Ritz dry what else makes up the filling and perhaps why then is it called "Mock Apple Pie"

                      1. re: lcool

                        Ask and ye shall receive:

                        http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/r...

                        Apparently you make a sugar syrup and pour it over the crackers. Sounds lovely.

                        Frankly, if it's supposed to simulate apple pie, I'd use apple juice for the syrup instead of water.

                        1. re: acgold7

                          thanks
                          reads like a waste of even bad pastry crust and oven time

                        2. re: lcool

                          I read somewhere that because of the ingredients: sugar, cinnamon and lemon - our taste buds identify it (taste-memorywise, that is) as apple pie because of the duality. It's like a flavor/texture confusion, because you kinda are primally "expecting" that taste...and that's what you get.
                          I'm not quite sure this post made any sense at all, but here goes.

                          1. re: mamachef

                            Thanks for the explanation, mamachef! I was wondering how on earth they could come up with a mock apple pie when there is nothing remotely apple-like in those ingredients. Interesting! Still, I think I'll pass.

                            1. re: mamachef

                              My neighbor, who makes a lot of shake n'bake and tuna casserole, brought us one of these when we moved into our house in 85. It was actually very good, in a junky kind of way!

                          2. re: acgold7

                            I think this was a Depression recipe. Ritz crackers were less expensive then (I suppose) than apples were. Not sure why it has remained of interest though.

                            1. re: sueatmo

                              Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I'm pretty sure that's it.

                              1. re: acgold7

                                Exactamente, ladies. I believe the original recipe was printed on the box in the early twenties. I have not read it in awhile, but it included an ingredient that texturized the apples. I need to look this up, because I don't think that ingredient is on the current Ritz recipe. But: I have eaten it, at a cakewalk. I won it. And you know what? It tasted like an apple pie invented by somebody who never even SAW an apple. I've said this before: it was to apples what St. Joseph's baby aspirin is to oranges. Okay, going to check out the original recipe. And all that being said, it wasn't awful, but it sure the hell was NOT apple pie.
                                'K, I just looked it up. The ingredient IS in the current recipe: it's cream of tartar that texturizes this apples. In the original, they called it tartaric acid phosphate, which sounded too Star Trek to me. Years later, I'd have known that, but I was young and naive, and now I'm old w/ a memory lapse. : )

                                1. re: mamachef

                                  thank you
                                  and the early twenties is a whole different era economically
                                  1913 edition quite different from the 1923 and 1937 of the same book are really reflect varied economic times

                                  1. re: mamachef

                                    >>>Exactamente, ladies.<<<
                                    This will be news to my wife.

                                    1. re: mamachef

                                      According to Jean Anderson in American Century Cookbook. p. 387, Mock Apple Pie made with Ritz crackers "appeared in the '30s and remains popular in deepest heartland. To my greatest surprise, in leafing through late-nineteenth-century cookbooks, I found. . . " [another version of mock apple pie made with soda crackers.]. Weird, huh?

                                      The American Century Cookbook was copyrighted in 1997. Apparently some folks make Mock Apple Pie today, although I imagine they buy the crusts instead of making those from scratch.

                                      According to Anderson Nabisco introduced Ritz crackers to the Philly/Baltimore area first in 1934. They went national in 1935. She also states, "Mock Apple Pie is the most requested Nabisco recipe of all time."

                                      So the recipe concept is old, but the Ritz version dates from the Depression. I really can't imagine why anyone would make the recipe! Apples are available cheaply all year long.

                                      1. re: mamachef

                                        Oh but baby St Joseph's aspirin tasted sooo good, baby.

                                    2. re: sueatmo

                                      But sugar and cinnamon were costly and most citrus was nearly luxury goods out of the growing area and season by any standards at that time.
                                      There are many mock,frugal etc recipes in my century plus cookbooks.With a little help from my history of food books they make sense,Lent and countless other fast days that were on the calendar at the time.

                                2. re: RGC1982

                                  Hence the use of the term Mock, i.e. imitation or fake. You wouldn't expect Mock (x) to have any (x) in it.

                                  1. re: acgold7

                                    I remember it fondly. Mock apple pie fooled a lot of people in its day (50's maybe), and really wasn't too bad.

                                    1. re: junescook

                                      Mock apple pie has won over some Chowhound hearts, along with other "fake" fruit pies:
                                      http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/599440

                                    2. re: acgold7

                                      An apple pie would be a mock mock apple pie.