Weird/Bad Food Related Dates

[NicoleFriedman]

A thread on dating etiquette had me thinking back to my dating days (which were not too long ago). I've had the fantastic, the okay and the atrociously horrible:} I'm going to list my top worst/strangest... I'm hoping for yours in return:}

1. My ex who early on in dating revealed that he smothered almost all of his food in ketchup, mustard and hummus. Yes, all together. At the same time.

2. The guy who went to a Japanese restaurant for the first time in his life. He was frightened of the miso soup and had the clear soup instead. He thought his chicken terriyaki was exotic.

3. The cheap guy. (An accountant by the way!) He kept telling me he was taking me to a great restaurant. He took me to a hole-in-the wall empanada place. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing bad about empanadas. But don't talk it up like it's a 5 star restaurant:}

4. The control freak. This guy kept picking the restaurants and would not let me have any input. Granted he picked some awesome places but needless to say this didn't last long.

This one isn't mine thankfully; I saw it on the Millionaire Matchmaker. This d****e took an adorable woman out for a meal cooked by a private chef. The chef prepared offal and other goodies that only Andrew Zimmern would appreciate. He was testing her to see if she would be "game". Thankfully this never happened to me!

[charles_sills]

i was on a very casual date with a woman who is now just simply one of my very best friends. we were at a local "mexican" restaurant, and her order i thought was incredibly strange. she is austrialian so maybe its a cultural.
but anyway, she ordered a quesadilla and....... chips. and the waiter explained you get free chips and salsa. and then she clarified that she meant french fries. and the waiter said of course they dont have french fries. and she didnt beleive him haha. i had to explain to her that they really didnt have any. i actually thought it was adorable but she was so embarrassed.

[TheHuntress]

LOL I can confirm that is an Australian thing. There are very few good Mexican places in Australia and quesadilla is often served at cafe's and pubs with the aforementioned chips. I must confess that I am often known to ask for chips in most situations. I just like them :)

[armybaker]

I invited a guy over for dinner and asked him to pick up some wine for dinner. He shows up with Port and Moscato. I had the wine classes out and he proceeds to poor massive glasses of Port wine. I was quite confused.

[alkapal]

…after you drank it, right?

heh heh

[Emme]

could have been worse... could have shown up with boxes of wine from the 99 cent store ;)

[Dagney]

This thread is hilarious....

Okay, I had a guy order a glass of White Zin while on a date. I was horrified. THOUGH not nearly as horrified as I was later when he planted an awkward waggling "french kiss" in my mouth and followed up with the comment, "I know what you are thinking, if I can wiggle my tongue like that in your mouth, imagine what I can do with your cl**(delicate lady part)."

[Tripeler]

I guess White Zin does have that effect on men.

[gaffk]

How romantic . . . You are now celebrating your 25th anniversary?

[Dagney]

lol! Yeah right. That was a one and only date with that guy.

[alkapal]

what a great guy -- such élan!

gaff k, you crack me up.

[DaisyM]

Oh, wow...and some poor woman is probably married to him now.

[Emme]

i'm guessing one with a squiggly mouth...

[Dagney]

oh...... so bad so bad! lol!!!

[Tehama]

OMG -- nearly the same thing happened to me; I think I posted about it upthread several months ago. I'm not sure if I included the part about the horrifying kiss that capped-off the evening, but it was the sloppiest, grossest thing that has ever happened to me. If ONLY I'd gotten up and left when he ordered the White Zinfadel. You poor girl -- I'm so sorry this happened to someone else other than me!

[sandylc]

Ha - the "white zin warning sign" - should be publicized so that others don't fall into the sloppy kiss trap.

[Tehama]

Totally!

[rayrayray]

Great thread...I've been laughing hysterically. So my best/worst food date moment was many years ago when I was ayoung professional and got my first job in the financial district. Met a guy working in a similar industry at a networking function and he asks me to have lunch. He was a older than me, tenured in his industry and very handsome, I was flattered. He chooses to go to a working lunch expense account type place. I am impressed because 1. I am young and broke and could not afford where he was taking me and 2. I was surprised he was interested in me. So we sit down at the restaurant, pleasant conversation ensues and I'm nervous and staring at Mr. tall dark and handsome in awe of where I am and who I am seated with. Waiter comes around to take orders, and Mr. tall dark and handsome decides to order the VAGatarian lasagna. Yes...you read that correctly and yes he truly thought he was pronouncing it right. So I spit water all over the table, me and the waiter and looking at each other helplessly and try to continue like that did not just happen. The rest of the date was awkward because I'm trying to hold in giggles the whole time and my date is confused. He never called me...sigh.

[alkapal]

he never called. imagine that. LOL

reminds me of a time a college pal and i were on a roll at f. scotts, the upscale bar associated with the 1789 restaurant in georgetown, where we were seniors or just graduated at the time. (motto on card placard on table: "where the elite meet to greet and eat." NO KIDDING). we were on a lark and liked to punch holes in some of the rampant georgetown snobbery, being fans of the who, the beatles, the talking heads and the sex pistols…..so occasionally we'd hit this kind of place.

anyway, we were sitting in a booth holding court of sorts (as i said, we were on a roll…), and this guy with the gold presidential rolex with the bezel o' diamonds sat down, and tried to woo us to go with him in his limo, but we declined. we said, we'll go in your limo only if pete townshend is there in it.

we left not too long after that, and sure enough, there was his limo. we made a joke between ourselves and looked in to see if pete was there. NOPE, gotta fly! LOL.

[sandylc]

When I was very young I ended up at a private cocktail reception in D.C. Some old fart whom I was too young and naive to recognize, I'm sure, tried to put moves on me. I was grossed out. Wish I knew now who it was! Ha.

[alkapal]

many of these politicos think their power makes them attractive -- and to some, it does!

[sandylc]

Yeah, I once knew a woman who practically orgasmed at the mention of any man who was powerful in the world. Creeped me out.

[2roadsdiverge]

Wasn't it Henry Kissinger who said "Power is the ultimate aphrodesiac"?

[alkapal]

well, he'd be a good candidate to test the theory. LOL.

[Motosport]

My dear friend who is a lesbian often uses that term. Maybe he was not so clueless as he seemed?

[Jetgirly]

Had a blind date last night- just a drink at the lounge of a local restaurant. The waitress seemed REALLY friendly with my date throughout our visit. At the end the guy offered to buy my drink, I offered to pay once but didn't push it. The waitress came with the portable debit machine... and as he was paying she sat on the arm of his chair, put her arm around him, turned her back to me and asked if he was doing anything "after"! He was really polite and brushed her off in the least offensive way imaginable...

... I think! Now let's see if he calls me again, or if I see their engagement announcement in the paper six months from now!

[Tripeler]

Jetgirly,
Could it be that your date staged this performance by the waitress? Seems to me like a REAL setup. Perhaps there was the intention of sparking jealousy in you.

[Jetgirly]

PEOPLE DO THAT?

[Tripeler]

Yes, it is possible. How well did you know the guy?

[Jetgirly]

Not at all- blind date! He just moved here and we have a mutual acquaintance. If that was all staged then I'm IMPRESSED... that's a lot of planning for a blind date!

[Tripeler]

Think about it -- what sane waitress would come onto a guy like that who is with another woman? Sounds like some kind of a set-up to me...

[sandylc]

He was maybe there the previous night and they picked each other up - at which time he told her he was coming in with a blind date.

[Jetgirly]

I doubt he was there the night before as we were supposed to go elsewhere but they had a special event and were closed, so I rescheduled at the last minute and had to give him directions! However he did arrive before me... hmmmm...

Well, only time will tell.

[alkapal]

ah...he arrived BEFORE you. maybe that's when they got friendly....

seems awfully forward of her if it was "out of the blue." there had to be some other prior connection....

if he were to call, would you ask him about the waitress? tee hee!

[Emme]

would you go out with him again? were you conversing a lot? i ask only because i've had dates where i'm sure i've given off the "where's an emergency when you need one" vibe to the outside world.... i'm not excusing or justifying her behavior, as i'm guessing she's just clueless. but i'm just looking for any reason she might have written it off as not a date? i mean, he did pay for both of your drinks... did he say, um no i have a date...?

ugh women. stupid women.

[Jetgirly]

@Emme I think we had a good vibe going. We talked non-stop, good body language, he said he wanted to see me again and he did specify the date when he would call (his job involves a lot of travel so it's the first day he returns to town). I guess I won't really know until that day rolls around (next week).

@alkapal - I definitely would not ask him about the waitress! It's not really any of my business if someone I went on one blind date with is casually dating other people too! Of course, he probably doesn't want to know what I got up to this weekend either! ;)

Even if he DID flirt with the waitress before I got there, his manners once I arrived were impeccable. Start to finish. Who can blame a guy for flirting with a pretty waitress before a blind date with someone he doesn't know and who could possibly turn out to be a hideous, rude, dirty, stupid idiot? I would probably do the same if I arrived at a restaurant before my blind date and had a cute waiter who seemed into me. However, I think the waitress's actions when she brought the bill were so completely beyond the realm of what is appropriate that they were actually comical. I wondered if I was on a hidden camera show or something.

[Emme]

as long as he treated you well and with respect! i'm hoping when he calls and you go out again, he does somehow casually mention the waitress... or in a few months, you can joke about it with him when you're more serious... "and to think i had to compete with the waitress on our first date!"

[GraydonCarter]

< or if I see their engagement announcement in the paper six months from now!

My attitude is, I want you to be happy, and if that's with somebody else, then hey, don't let me stand in the way.

[Jetgirly]

My attitude has always been that I want my own personal happiness at any cost.

[2roadsdiverge]

Some psychologists and biologists argue that this is everyone's goal in life. It just happens that making other people happy can also make us happy.

[alkapal]

"it is better to give than to receive."

[hyacinthgirl]

Cheers to that! Update on this guy, please?

[Jetgirly]

He did call on the day specified... and the next day... and the next day... and the next day... Finally, after a week, I was like, "Ummmm, do you want to get together again?" He didn't seem very enthusiastic about establishing a date and time to meet. But don't think that stopped him from calling! I think he secretly married our waitress but is considering offering me some kind of telemarketing job, or maybe a job as a telephone psychic, and he just needs to test out my voice in a variety of situations...

So, two thumbs down.

[littlemissmuffin]

This was not my date but one I was involved in orchestrating...

My husband was golfing and happened to meet an old friend from high school. He comes home and says the guy is really nice, polite, quiet, has a good job, good looking...and single. So we set him up with my best friend, who was recently divorced. They talk a few times, she says he seems very nice, they agree to have dinner. He asks where she would like to go, says it is completely up to her...but he mentions a few times that he is a bit of a picky eater. She is a very easygoing person, so she tells him anywhere is fine.

He picks her up, they drive to the local main street which is lined with chain restaurants, she thinks fine whatever I can eat at Olive Garden, no big deal. Then they drive past all the "nice" chains and pull into the parking lot of Taco Bell.

She at first thinks it is a joke, but it's not. So they had their date eating in a Taco Bell surrounded by high school kids. When he ordered, he was super specific about how he wanted his food, "no sauce" and "light lettuce" and "no onions at all, I mean really, no onions" then before he ate (after unwrapping his food from its fancy paper!) he almost dissected it before eating, mumbling "I bet they left the onions, this branch always does that." He also mentioned that he used to eat at Pizza Hut but they changed the sausage 5 years ago and now he won't go back.

Needless to say, they did not go out again. I apologized over and over, but she is a good sport and just thought it was very funny.

[Emme]

I'm surprised he didn't take her to Burger King, so he could have it his way.

I feel her pain... Those are the dates when you're expecting someone to jump out with a camera, or praying that Ashton Kutcher emerges.

That said, I like to think of every surprisingly bizarre occasion as an opportunity to collect another "you're never gonna believe this" story for my arsenal.

[hill food]

well yeah when I've hit rough patches in life my friends seem to all independently say "hey that's grounds for a funny story - at least you'll get that out of it!"

and they're right.

[Motosport]

When I was single and dating I had a motto: "It's either a really good time or a really good story!" With that positive attitude I always had fun.

[hill food]

YES!

[Tehama]

Good Lord! This post made me laugh because it brought back something I hadn't remembered in a hundred years. It was when I was in high school and had a date with a college boy. I had a first date that occurred at the d@mn Taco Bell, too! However, it was in the DRIVE -THROUGH. Not only that - we pulled into a parking place AT the Taco Bell to eat after getting the greasy bag. He said it was a picnic in the parking lot. Good Lord.

[alkapal]

LOL tehama -- that made me laugh, too. classy guy! ;-).

[ragtime_6]

Once I went on a mall/movie date; halfway through the meal my date reaches over with his fork and (without asking) tastes some of my broccoli! If he had merely asked first I would have said sure, but the fact that he was presumptuous enough to just dive in there made me pretty irate.

Another time I went out with a guy we agreed to have a date on the beach and I suggested that we meet at a subway station first since I was unfamiliar with the area. As I approach the station the hour is drawing nigh so he insists that he go to the beach ahead of me and that we meet there, and also he forgot his wallet and "hopefully I brought mine". Ok, feeling pretty miffed but I'm not one to back down at the first sign of trouble. The date was up and down after that; we went to a cafe and he insists that I order whatever I want (since at that point I'm paying for both of us). I order a spinach salad with various toppings to share, double-checking that this kind of food is fine with him. We're halfway through the salad when he realizes that it contains grapefruit which he is allergic to. I'm left trying to eat the salad without disturbing the grapefruit pieces and hoping he doesn't asphyxiate before the date is over.

[GraydonCarter]

If my date reached over for a forkful of my broccoli, I think I would fall in love on the spot. Ah, at last, my kind of woman.

[smartie]

so what happens when you are on date 1, 2 3-5/6 and you are liking each other and then he/she eats with his fingers, or wipes his nose on cloth napkins or is rude to the server? Does it cloud your view or do you let it pass because you are nonetheless attracted and seem to be a good fit? Are these bad eating habits gonna come back and bite you on the ass?

[foiegras]

If the date's nose needs to be wiped, what do you wish him/her to use instead of the cloth napkin--a sleeve?

If he picks a steak up and eats it with his fingers, or treats the waitstaff like pond scum, those would be deal breakers for me.

[cookmyassoff]

i dont know, i think the restaurant first date can be quite the litmus test. not just if u are "food compatible", but how a person treats waitstaff/service industry people, how willing or unwilling they are to try new things, how much a person is willing to spend to impress u, whether they are control freaks and insist on ordering for u, or suggesting u might like something better, how much they tip, and an opportunity to talk while waiting for ur food. plus whether they have a drink or two, dont drink and all (and/or insist that u dont drink) or get completely hammered, whether they are expecting some a&* after paying for a nice dinner, etc. that first date at a restaurant can tell u reams about a person.

[meatn3]

Rude to a server is a big red light to me. It reeks of entitlement and class-ism. In my experience people who feel comfortable being rude to strangers have a very flimsy facade of integrity in general.

[gaffk]

Date 5:

Eats with fingers. Good; I find myself eating asparagus with my fingers and sometimes pick out croutons. I must be really at ease with this guy.

Wipes his nose on the cloth napkin: hmmm, it skeeves me, but I must watch out for other non-hygenic habits.

Rude to servers? Deal breaker. If he's rude to anyone, he can be rude to everyone.

[pamf]

I think the main point here is finding out about ingrained behaviors that will likely show up the first time you sit down to a meal with a person.

If there is a lapse on a later date, for example, your date suddenly says something rude to a server, when they had always been polite before, I think you should know them well enough by then to question it. "Have you had a bad day, because you were really harsh with that waiter?" Then go from their response to see if there might be a problem or if it just was a mistake.

[ninestraycats]

I don't mean to be rude, but why does everyone here assume the guy must, should, or ought to pay for the meal? Different eras, I guess... if the girl I'm with thinks that way, she's failed the litmus test. What kind of equality is that?

I was eating at a Thai place with my ex a year or so back, having a great time. She points out a couple on a date a few tables away from us. The check had just arrived, and they spent no less than two full minutes arguing over payment. The boy INSISTED he cover everything, the girl wouldn't have it. Silly of him to insist, silly of her not to relent and accept a free meal after his first few attempts. I doubt they saw each other again.

[travelmad478]

"Everyone" doesn't assume the guy should pay. I don't.

[Sue in Mt P]

I don't and never have. Neither did that lady at the next table.

I don't want to "owe" anybody anything.

[raebmv]

I don't assume the guy should pay. But if either party insists immediately that the bill be split down to the cent, it's usually a bad indicator of what's to come.

[lemons]

I am of the older generation, old enough to have adolescent grandchildren. And most women friends my age who have been single again don't assume it either. If anything they'd prefer to pay their own way at first just to avoid any taint of "obligation". I think if you look over CH in general, women, if you can tell the gender of a CHer, mostly don't assume it.

I do know there are some cranky men out there who complain about it, but I think they're in the minority. As my mother began to say when she was in her 70s, "Get with it! This is the modern age!" And I think most of us are.

No, I don't think you're being rude, and I hope you understand I don't mean to be, either.

[cookmyassoff]

i think the "who should pay" issue can sort of be implied in the wording of the invitation. if the two of u mutually decide to go somewhere, then split it. but if i said to someone "let me take u out to dinner" then i would think that implies that i am paying. or vice versa. if a man says "i would like to take u to restaurant X" then i would assume he would pay. but if it was more like "hey lets go to restaurant X some time and get lunch, i heard its good" then i might be more inclined to think that it was dutch. i dont know, communication can be tricky with some people, as we can see in this thread!

[silvergirl]

I was once invited over for dinner by a chef who had been asking me out for quite a while. He said he would throw a dinner party. I agreed. I wasn't optomistic about the date but figured anyone that persistent deserved a chance. I was looking forward to being cooked for, he'd even asked specifically what food preferences/aversions I had. I told him I dont like cold pasta. That's it-no cold pasta. when I got there, I was the only one invited and he'd made cold pasta. It would seem that he thought the wine would effect me more on an empty stomach and I'd be unable to drive myself home.

[DaisyM]

Years ago, I had a friend in grad school who told me her awful date story. A guy asked her to have dinner at "Cesar's". This was the new fine dine restaurant that everyone wanted to go to. She was very excited and bought a new cocktail dress and spent a lot of time getting ready. The guy pulls up and is very casually dressed. When they got to the restaurant..it was "Sizzler's".

[QueenDairy]

LOL!!

[foiegras]

Kind of amazing! There's a guy who'll never need anyone to sabotage him ...

Daisy's story reminded me of one ... this guy and I had discussed a brunch date if he didn't need to help with a move. I'd understood the move was on, but he called and brunch was on instead. My plan was to go to a neighborhood French restaurant for brunch and I was dressed accordingly. I had communicated general information about the restaurant. He shows up and is still dressed to move furniture, the radical idea of changing clothes having never occurred to him. Even better, he's wearing a ragged T-shirt with a foot-long hot dog graphic and double entendre slogan (which I guess he figured would be perfect for either moving or a date). I took one look and said, well, we can't go to the restaurant I had in mind, and instead (luckily I can generate plan B on a dime) we went to a 24-hour pancake place nearby that is plenty casual. He said, But I'm dressed for MOVING! I gathered that the idea of dressing AGAIN, when ALREADY clothed, was anathema to him. Last date (need I say) ... I believe we split the check at my initiative, but my memory kind of runs out there.

[alkapal]

he was dressed for moving in on you!

[foiegras]

LOL, that's good! Clearly he did not know me very well ...

[alkapal]

haha, to do that...

he might've worn THIS t-shirt #1

or, LOL, THIS OTHER t-shirt #2

#1………………...………#2…………...

[QueenDairy]

roflcopter

[foiegras]

That second one might've gotten him somewhere ;)

[cookmyassoff]

wow, lets see what food she DOESNT want, and ill make that. that sounds like a plan.

[Motosport]

Relating another "Bad Date" story that happened to a friend. I feel responsible besause I played matchmaker and it went "bad".
My gal had a single guy friend, Dave, and I had single gal friend, Wendy, who we thought would be a good match. Both 40 somethings from similar social ethnic backgrounds. So we played matchmaker.
They were both very excited to meet someone new and seemingly compatible.
Dave called Wendy and asked her for a dinner date. She said yes and asked where he was taking her. He insisted that she pick the place. (A mistake I.M.H.O.)
She picked a nice moderately priced local Spanish restaurant that she liked. He said "OK, meet you there at 8". (Personally, I prefer picking up a date at her place but that may not be comfy for the woman. Not even offering is a mistake I.M.H.O.)
They were both prompt and met at the restaurant. They both ordered a nice chicken dish that came with a vegetable and tasty rice. The conversation was lively and interesting and all seemed to be going well.
Then it all started falling apart: They were finished eating and he asked the server if he could have "additional" rice for his plate. The server brought more rice. Then he said: "I always do that so I have more to take home for lunch tomorrow." "Can I have the rest of yours too?"
I don't think this was the deal breaker but Wendy starting seeing "Red Flags!"
The server packed up Dave's doggie bag and gave them the dessert menu.
Wendy thinking that more conversation might turn things around said: "Why don't we have coffee and share a dessert? They make a nice chocolate cake here."
Dave: "Nah, you can get it if you want. I'll just watch you eat it." (Big "E" on the score board for ERROR!!) Am I being to hard on Dave?
Out of courtesy Wendy always offers to split the check on a first date. The guys always pick up the tab but not Dave!! "OK, let me figure out how much you owe." The cell phone calculator comes out and he mumbles, "Wine, appetizer, espresso, chocolate cake, tip." You owe me $54.87!" At this point the umpire should be tossing him out of the game!! I.M.H.O.!
They settle up and Dave says:" Great dinner, let's do it again soon!"
Wendy is thinking: "Thank god that ^$#@^%$^%*&^% is not driving me home!"

[alkapal]

dave is a WINNER! of what i'm not quite sure. winner of a second date? NOT.

tacky-roo!

[QueenDairy]

Oh.... WOW. Just... wow.

[Motosport]

Dave is still single if anyone is interested!!

[QueenDairy]

I wonder why? LOOOOOOOOL

[Dave5440]

Another Dave giving daves everywhere a bad rep

[Motosport]

Did I say Dave? I meant Dan!!

[alkapal]

oh ho, after this, you might as well call him "mabel."

[Leonardo]

@Motosport: "The guys always pick up the tab..." In Your Humble Opinion.
Lately I've had dates with a half dozen lovely women from a well-known dating site and we split the tab every time. With two of those women I've had multiple dates and it's going very well.

[Motosport]

This was way back in the day, Wendy would always offer but on the first date the guy would pay.
In more modern times and with internet dating I agree that the custonm is to "Go Dutch". Is that expression still used?

[Paprikaboy]

I used to work with a guy who did a lot of internet dating and he would always pay on the first date and book the restaurant.
However he would book two restaurants, one cheap and one expensive.
Then depending on how attractive he found the date he would cancel one or the other.

[alkapal]

hahahaha, that is funny!

[gembellina]

That's hilarious!!! What a guy.

[woodleyparkhound]

He'd cancel the other place on the phone while with the date? Or he'd have to go to the restroom at the chosen restaurant so he could make the call, cancelling two minutes before the time of the reservation? Sounds like more trouble than it's worth.

[lemons]

...and we wonder why restaurants ask for CC#s....A double jerk.

[Emme]

that's okay, he books a back-up restaurant, and i book a back-up evening, replete with emergency phone call. you do what you have to do to get by.

the irony of the online dating situation though is that even though people post pictures, you still have no idea what people look like. my FAVORITE thing said about online dating: "It proves anyone can take one good picture."

[QueenDairy]

LOL so true. MY CH picture is from me at work. I'm a nurse, so I don't have that kind of time to waste, taking a million pictures, duck lips (i will never understand that nonsense!), etc. Usually I hate the camera altogether. xD

[Emme]

i always offer to go dutch, but save two times (one 10 years ago and one in 2010), all men have said, "don't worry about it. i've got it."

the guy 10 years ago said, "you know, you can get this one, and i'll get the next one." i smiled, thinking, "what next one?"

the guy in 2010 was such a cheap asshole the whole evening - we went to carve pumpkins, and he asked the salesguy when the two-for-one deal on pumpkins began, and continued to bitch about the expense til we got back to the car. we went for dinner (sushi), and he got a text from his friend, and told me we could stop at the party on our way back to my house to carve pumpkins. i told him he could go, and i could get a ride home. he declined. he went to the bathroom and said he'd get the check. it arrived before he did, and i gave the waitress my credit card. i was signing the bill, as he returned. he seemed a little surprised, but not upset, "oh i was gonna pay for this." i said, "don't worry, i didn't pay for yours." he said, "really?!" i just looked at him. we get back to my place; he starts carving, and i drew on mine with a Sharpie, trying to figure out when i could kick him out. to add fuel to the fire, when he first showed up, he brought a pumpkin bread mix, and said he wanted to bake it. i smiled, doing everything i could to resist from telling him that he was committing a heretical act ;) as a positive note, his date expedited the process of me starting my current business. (i saw him at the market about 6 months ago, and almost jokingly stopped to thank him, but decided instead just to hide in the cracker aisle.

one more thing to note re the going dutch... if the guy picks a really pricey place, one that i either don't particularly care for or want to spend the money on at present time, it really aggravates me. it's kind of like when going out for someone's birthday, and the birthday person picks an expensive place. i think it's unfair to the guests unless host is paying. frankly, i'm more insistent on going dutch if the date is a bust, and i don't want to feel like i owe him a damn thing, and so it certainly irks me to pay a lot of money for an evening i didn't enjoy, or food i didn't want, or food i would rather have shared with someone else.

[Leonardo]

All this illustrates why most of my first dates are taking a walk in the park.

[Emme]

i NEVER do food on a first date, no matter how promising it seems! the thought of being trapped for 45 minutes minimum terrifies! i learned my lesson back 10 years ago with the go dutch guy... who i knew i didn't like in the first 30 seconds.

[KaimukiMan]

First date, coffee or a drink, maybe a juice bar. Not a meal. It's not about the money, its about the flexibility. Without the pressure of wondering how you are going to be able to talk to this person for 45-90 minutes, a 'coffee date' can last from 15-90 minutes.

[caseyjo]

I guess I've been fairly lucky, considering some of these stories. I can't think of a weird restaurant experience (when my high school homecoming date brought me to The Olive Garden, I was totally okay with it. Oh, how times have changed). I do have a couple of home cooking stories to share, though.

I dated a control freak, who suggested we cook together. He didn't allow me any input on the meal, and demanded I not deviate at all from the recipe. This was for a meal I had made tons of times, but he wanted to make sure it was "done right." Then, he refused to open the wine I brought, because he thought beer would go better.

Another guy I dated claimed to be a great cook, and invited me over to have food at his place. Turns out, he had bought pre-made pizza crust, pre-made sauce, and toppings. He couldn't figure out how to cut the onion he had bought, and expected me to do it. He didn't have a chef's knife, or a cutting board, or saucepans. I don't really care about dating someone who doesn't cook, but I don't think it's a great idea to blatantly lie about something that one could be easily called out on.

[Tehama]

mehhhhh.... I'm sorry. I don't like being "trapped" at someone's home dealing with that nonsense and wondering how quickly I can politely leave.

[cookmyassoff]

ok , yea, ur a great cook but cant cut an onion. ur not a great cook, ur just a liar.

[Emme]

reading a few made me think about the onslaught of recent (unsuccessful) dates as of late:

1. The guy who scares me is the one who tells me he is taking me to his favorite restaurant, that he eats in multiple times a week... This guy took me to a chain. I have nothing against them, but it's one I dislike quite a bit... I had flashes of us eating there "multiple times a week..." We dated for a couple of months. When I cooked dinner for him, he was literally blown away. Said, "oh my god, it's better than eating in any restaurant!" it took everything for me to resist from saying, "well sure, look at where you eat."

2. The guy who took me to his FAVORITE sushi place... obviously an attempt to impress me, we went to a trendy, overpriced, and mediocre place. This did not bother me because I knew he meant well. Now I can pack away a lot of sashimi, but I order modestly (and always offer to pay for mine). He ordered a couple of fried cream cheese roll concoctions, and some tempura. I ordered sashimi and hand rolls. As the waiter starts to walk away, he grabs him gently by the arm and looks at me, really concerned, "You know none of that stuff is cooked, right?" The waiter looks at me, doing his best to hold it together. I nod and smile. He shrugs, "Wow, you're pretty adventurous." We have very different backgrounds and perspectives... he also was sort of bragging about his sheltered upbringing, telling me "Yeah, I never even met a Jew until I was 22."

3. Guy I met for an afternoon coffee/tea/drink/whatever. I show up and the first thing he says, "Wow, you really are short." I politely said if it was a problem, we could call it off now. We went to the bar; I ordered a Pellegrino. He said, "Oh you're not drinking?" I said jokingly, "No, it's 3 pm, and I'm driving. But don't let me stop you." He looked at me dead serious, "Why would that stop me? Do I need your permission or something?" I should've left then, but I was stupid enough to waste the next hour of my life listening to him brag about all his accomplishments.

4. Last week's winner: Met a semi-nice place. I can't drink if I drive. Not a sip... It's pathetic really, but half a glass and I'm loopy. Cheap date. So anyway, this guy is a bit odd. He keeps trying to convince me to have wine with him. His last ditch effort: "Look I'll pay for your car to stay here; I'll drive you home, and I'll just sleep on your couch! Cab or Merlot?"

[hill food]

please DON'T share the context in which that quote arose.

"Yeah, I never even met a Jew until I was 22."

although it does rhyme.

[lilgi]

#4, a lil creepy - reminds me of the "make love" guy up thread. I got such a kick out of that one.

[gingershelley]

+ 1, on most creepy date on this thread... the 'make love' guy. EEEWWWH!

[lilgi]

;D

[alkapal]

emme, i feel for you, girlfriend. i don't think i could ever date again. i'm now officially stuck in my ways.

i also want to quote a famous person re date #3: 'WINNING!"

and yes, next time follow your gut and scoot. "oh, gotta run! i just remembered that i left my parakeet on the stove." zoooom.

~~~~~~~
ps, i don't know why the tammy wynette song just came to mind, "D-I-V-O-R-C-E."

just modify the words, to the same tune, and sing it to yourself as you swoop out with a flourish and an impish grin: BBEEE III TEEE CEEEEEE H. oh yeah, go there! it is so liberating.

[foiegras]

Re #2, wow, that's sheltered all right. I thought I had a sheltered upbringing, but I knew Jewish people when I was 3 or 4 ;) I hope he was Amish ... or at least Mennonite.

Shout out to the universe for Emme ... she deserves better!! One foodie and gentleman, please ...

[lemons]

Not sure if sheltered is the right word. Maybe "insular"? I have a friend who is now in her seventies. She has lived all her life in Cardiff, Wales, and she doesn't know any Jews except my husband, whom she met a few years ago, and didn't think there were any in Cardiff.... And this is a woman who's worked in the public schools and in a social service agency.

[gembellina]

In fairness to her, I don't think there are a lot of Jews in Wales. Wikipedia (yeah yeah) suggests 0.07% of the population! Less of an excuse for Emme's future husband though...

[Emme]

he was not from wales... i believe the sticks of north carolina. either way, despite being a gentleman, i distinctly recalled the flash forward to:
-taking him to one of my favorite dives where i routinely order raw shrimp heads still in tact
-introducing him to a room full of jews

i'm not saying the guy has to be a foodie to the utmost extreme, but i'd like adventurous, flexible, and willing to do dishes. and while i'm throwing it out there, tall.

[alkapal]

raw shrimp heads still intact? with the cute antennae and black eyes? http://image.shutterstock.com/display...

you lost me on that one.

and i think you were just taunting that gentleman (your words) "from the sticks", weren't you? how long did you two hang out together? 'cause that sounds like you wanted to get rid of him, but make him do it. LOL.

[Emme]

yeah... marinated... mariscos chente - should have said whole shrimp with heads... still arrive with that image.

we hung out a few times over a few weeks. i kept pushing dinner because i think gut told me i wasn't interested. i never taunted... never actually mentioned the shrimp. reminds me of the quote from Rent: "you can take the girl out of Hicksville, but you can't take the Hicksville out of the girl."

i have another one this weekend... wish me luck. sigh.

[QueenDairy]

Good luck <3 If he turns out to be a chump, you can always hang out with me! :D
*hugs Emme*

[alkapal]

oh, i guess this line confused me into thinking it had happened---> "" i distinctly recalled the flash forward to:
-taking him to one of my favorite dives where i routinely order raw shrimp heads still in tact"""

[Tehama]

Emme - your stories are a riot! How did the last date go? Thanks so much for sharing!

[Emme]

we didn't make it past coffee/tea/pellegrino... it wasn't a match from the get-go, but a quick chuckle...
food came up, and i said i cook, obviously, and said the deal is sort of if i cook, you do dishes. he said he doesn't do dishes. i thought he was kidding.... nope he can't explain it, but he's had an aversion to dishes ever since he was a kid. even made up some allergy, so his mom wouldn't make him do them, and his brother did instead. when i asked, pray tell, what he does now.... dishwasher.

i don't know when this all got so difficult. i mean, i cook, i bake, i'm educated, and from time to time, even have a good sense of humor. where are the men? i'm not even looking for "normal..." just someone with imperfections compatible with my own. in the meantime, even though he doesn't do dishes, my dog is my most gracious recipient of baked goodies (biscuits).

[hill food]

sad, while if I have a DW you're darn right I use it. there is also a time and place for the iPod and a few zen-ish moments over the sudsy sink. ehh, it's something I could overlook if the other is willing to play fetch or prep before. the deal breaker would extend to other areas of house tidy-ness (hey he/she goes all crazy on the linens or the bathroom? I'd be happy to swap the duties). hope it all works. and that's sincere.

[2roadsdiverge]

Your comment made me chuckle, hill food, because on a few other message boards I frequent, the initials DW stand for "darling wife". Changes the meaning of your post a bit ;)

[kubasd]

HA that's what I initially read DW as, too!!

[hill food]

whoops! I get it, but see, I read real estate ads like some look at porn. (heh)

[Tehama]

Emme, I feel we are living parallel lives. I agree with *every* single thing you said, down to having recently made doggie treats for Viego.

Tonight is date with my date/friend who only EVER wants to get appetizers for dinner. I understand from time to time not being very hungry, but in all the years I have known him, we have never once had an entree when I meet him for dinner (no, $$ isn't an issue). I have about made my mind up to order a Chateaubriand tonight just to see what he will do.

[foiegras]

And did you order the Chateaubriand?? I'm hoping you did ... some people need to be shaken up ;)

[cookmyassoff]

i love that number 2 took u to his "favorite sushi place" yet didnt know that sushi places had raw fish. hello. is there really a place so far in the backwoods of north carolina that doesnt know what sushi is?

[POAndrea]

Blind date (too many!) years ago told me that he has always dated "fat girls" in the past, because "they always put out to make up for it" And THEN he tells me I should go ahead and order a dessert because I'm too skinny. Ugh

[gaffk]

Well at least you knew he wasn't expecting much at the end of the date?

[Motosport]

Nice "compliment", NOT!!

[meatn3]

You really wonder what goes on in the empty space some people have for a mind!

[hill food]

shit dude, think of the real estate opportunities! endless!

and if we're on topic, how many 4-tops can we fit into that beehive of insanity?

[Motosport]

Not weird/bad but certainly embarrassing: My first real date @ 15. I asked a girl out on a Saturday night movie date. Got a haircut, shined my shoes, ironed my shirt, gathered up all of my tip money from my pharmacy delivery job and put it on the dresser next to my I.D. Bracelet. Back in the 60's in Brooklyn I.D. bracelets were all the rage. Saturday, got home from work, showered, shaved (yes, I was shaving @ 15), dressed and caught the bus to the girl's house. I knew her older brother and family so there were no jitters around meeting the family, thank goodness.
We walked over to the movie house on Kings Hwy in Brooklyn, got up to the ticket window, I took out my wallet and I only had $2. In my nervous rush I forgot to bring my tip money!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!! I looked at her, she looked at me and said, "I only have $1." I thougth I was doomed until she said, "It's a nice night, let's take a walk." So, we walked and talked and had pizza (that's the food part of the story) at a local joint. (a slice of pizza was only 25 cents back then) We dated on and off for many years, learned about life and love from one another and still keep in touch. Go figure? Thanks for letting me share.

[meatn3]

That was a classy girl and a really heartwarming story. Thanks for sharing it!

I remember the I.D. bracelets! Had not thought about them in many years...

[hill food]

yeah I've been plenty snarky on this thread, but that is a very nice and genuine story.

[Motosport]

The pleasure was all mine. It was nice getting into the "way back" machine. Glad you enjoyed the story.

[lemons]

Do you suppose that somewhere out there that there's a website chat room where people are talking about their nightmare stories dating people who eat awful things like raw oysters and fish, unidentifieable ethnic food and things that are spicy?

[GraydonCarter]

"Dude, I had the worst date last night. I wanted to go some place good, like Applebee's or Olive Garden, and she took me to some dive where everybody spoke Mexican. And it wasn't good Mexican, like Taco Bell, it was stuff I'd never seen before."

[hill food]

HA!

"lengua? what the hell is that?"

[CrazyOne]

If you get lengua on the first date, I guess it must have gone reasonably well. :-P

[Uncle Yabai]

Kaching! Rim shot!

[kubasd23]

uhhhh.... double entendre intended?

[hill food]

oh kuba, that took me a moment. new low for off-color reference ribbon level!

and if anyone needs to ask, no an explanation will NOT be provided.

[RLTRLDY]

Te amo lengua!

[verysimple]

I can, unfortunately, completely imagine some of my friends saying this.

[cookmyassoff]

everybody spoke mexican....rofl

[MRS]

3 dates related to food that were "weird/bad" that stand out to me would be:
1) the blind date ( son of aunt's friend) who asked me to meet him at well-known upscale restaurant, only to inform me that while he had a drink waiting for me, he decided we wouldn't eat there after all. We walked in August heat until we found an Italian place ( very good, btw) that was cash only. Said it by the door and the menu. Wouldn't you know...he had little cash on him. Tried giving a CC and then had to ask me for money to " split". And devoured all the bread and told the waiter I ate it. Goodbye, Charlie.
2) A guy I knew and was so-so on, but he was persistent. He really wanted to go out. I did nicely ask if we could go someplace I could get something fairly plain, as I was finally on my feet after a stomach bug ( wasn't lying!) He said he knew just the place- and then proceeded to take us for Malaysian food and order all sorts of spicy food for us. Oh boy!! That was not a fun night.
3) Was actually so very sweet...a 1st date w/ a guy I was crazy about. He went to great length to take us to a sexy, dark restaurant that I thought from the name might be Moroccan/Middle Eastern. We had a tented table, cushions to sit on, there were dancers...it was so impressive. But it turned out to be Ethiopian food and no silverware. I had no idea what to do with the food, and it kept getting all over the place. I could hardly eat and really didn't want to be messy on a 1st date. I was impressed, but a bit hungry at the end of the night.

[Motosport]

I had been dating a lovely woman, Lynn, for a few months and she wanted to meet my parents. I always avoided this since my parents were very judgemental and opinionated.
We met my parents at Lin's Garden (no relation) in Chinatown which was one of my favorite 24/7 place in Manhattan.
We ordered a nice variety of dishes to share including the sauteed blue crabs. While Lynn was taking apart a crab the claw slipped out of her hand and hit my mother in the forehead. Mom scowled and Lynn felt awful. Mom still refers to her as "the one who hit me with the crab". 40 years later Lynn and I are still close friends. Mom and dad don't speak to me often. Go figure?

[alkapal]

i think that your earlier assessment of your parents was spot on.

[foiegras]

Perhaps there was simply an irresistible attraction between the crabby and the crab that Lynn didn't have the strength to overcome ;)

[Motosport]

A good friend went on a blind date with a guy. She suggested the back room @ Nathan's Coney Island to be on familiar turf and not be too fancy schmancy. Yes, back in the day Nathans CI had an actual dining room with waiters hidden around the back. We ate there often enough to know the waiters.
They ordered the usual dogs, french fries and root beer. The waiter who was a John Garfield double brought the order sort of knowing it was a first date.
My friend was very happy with her meal. The guy, who wanted to show he was an "in charge" kind of Brooklyn guy, called over the waiter and said: "these fries aren't hot. I like my fries and my women HOTTTTTTTT!" Thanks for dinner, end of date!!!

[alkapal]

that is a good snort and a half!!!!

[gingershelley]

That guy deserved cold fries, and less!

[subal]

First date and I show up at her apartment and my fly is open!
"Forgetful or just optomistic?"
Half way through dinner her false eyelash half falls off.
"Do you have some thing in your eye my dear?"
38 years later, we still laugh about that night.

[gingershelley]

:) precious, and special! remember the time that you let your foibles not get in the way of attraction, and the truth of love overcomes all of our (all of US!) trying to find our way to love in the midst of the sea of humanity. Bravo!

[beevod]

Oh, the misery of being an attractive woman tortured by so many churlish men. Girls, you are saints! Saints, I say.

[linguafood]

You know it.

[DaisyM]

I remember a blind date years ago. We went to a pan asian resaurant and my date started speaking Chinese to the waiter. The waiter very cooly said, I'm Japanese, not Chinese. I can hardly remember the rest of the date except thinking the guy was a jerk and right before the check came he went to the bathroom and stayed in there at least 10 minutes. The waiter said to me, " you know he's trying to get you to pay the bill. I started laughing cause I knew that was the case. When he finally emerged I dramatically handed him the bill and said, "Sayonara!"

[Tehama]

Oh I love that story! Thanks for sharing! I am so curious - do you remember what your jerky date ordered? Chinese or another Asian dish?

[buttertart]

I loved the bit in the Big Bang Theory in which the proprietor of the Chinese restaurant they go to asks the other three (Leonard not being present) "And where is your friend who thinks he speaks Mandarin?".

[Tehama]

hahahaha!!

[betsydiver]

saw that... when she displayed hesitation... I think it was some kind of calcified bird embryo that was supposed to be downed in one gulp... he was so adamant about her eating it..."you will eat it... no choice... he really was creepy and ended up as a teaser as one of Patti's greatest melt downs on matchmaker reunion...but he really was creepy I would never want to be on a date with him, no matter how many millions he was worth!

[alkapal]

i saw that show! he was such a freak -- control freak-weirdo.

[Tehama]

I know! Wasn't that absolutely insane!?!

[alkapal]

sadistic machiavellian dude --

run away, run away!

[Jetgirly]

I'm freshly home from a date with a guy who was thirty-five. It was an online date, and the guy's username has the word "food" in it. Every section of his profile referenced his love of food. I ordered a margarita on the rocks. When it arrived, he asked, "Why isn't it slushy?"

[BobB]

Alas, love (of food or otherwise) and sophistication are not the same thing. Hang in there, I'm sure you'll meet someone with as adventurous a palate as yours.

Hey - maybe Chowhound needs to start a Singles board. ;-)

[Tehama]

Now you're cooking with fire!

[tracylee]

I was thinking that, BobB when we discussed the empanada scale above! Singles who love food!

[GraydonCarter]

All these horror stories are starting to make me look pretty good.

[alkapal]

i don't really know how to describe the snarky snort gleeful sound that i just made.

[hill food]

I KNOW! I love these horror stories, they really do boost my self-esteem as in "yeesh I've never done THAT"

[bushwickgirl]

And all of this makes me look like a total saint.

Oh, wait, I did flatten a tire one time, after the fact, um, date check-stiffed me with the "I have to check my car" bite and bolt excuse. And I thought things were going so well, nice dinner, good wine, scintillating conversation. I hope he didn't think I was trying to get him drunk...

[hill food]

I'd say you get a bus pass on that one (although if it were dry season in California, I'd probably go all passive aggressive and just strip the rubber from the windshield wiper blades) what a weenie, at least WPH's loser character drove the woman home.

[bushwickgirl]

Oh thanks, I knew some how I would be cool with a bit of revenge. I really thought about the karma of my actions (I'm a firm believer in karma) before committing the act, like when I posed over his tire, hehe, but I figured it was cool under the circumstance. The karma has yet to come back to me, or so I haven't noticed. I bet his has.

WPH's story is a very sad commentary on dating and how life often doesn't meet personal expectations. Glad she escaped unscathed. I had a rather large dinner tab to pay.

[hill food]

karma is a bitch-goddess, but a just one. you'd have probably seen her around by now. your solution was immediate, direct and about $100. mine wouldn't show up for months and very possibly involve a fatality.

[gingershelley]

Hill food, you are not one for smuggery, usually just humor, but realize, that dating in the 'new century' is fraught with real peril for those who must do it... have simpathy, not your own personal self-esteem here. Let's all be on the side of those who didn't turn into the fron page story!
I think dating (especially internet dating) has gone pretty well considering the crazy/ simply strange/ I-don't know-I'm-an-ass, people out there.

God love all our good CH's, whether they are in a happy CH relationship, fine with the opposite situation (made peace), or SSO, brave shout to the SSO's!

[hill food]

oh I wasn't digging on anyone for how they meet their dates - use every tool in the drawer I say. If anything I was making fun of my own self-conscious attitude, OK it did read a bit (more than a bit) smug, but I get so few opportunities these days to bolster self esteem and that coupled with a relative sparsity of appalling behavior (I'm no angel) is a nice break in the routine.

[woodleyparkhound]

This isn't my story, but it happened recently to a friend of mine in Vermont.

She was set up by someone she knew at work, who assured her this guy was a decent person and financially solvent. He is divorced and has been single for a long time, as has she. He called and asked her out to dinner, to one of the nicer places in town. He picked her up in his pick-up truck and off they went. He asked her if she'd mind first if they stopped at a friend's place to pick up some maple syrup. She said fine and they drove out in the country to the friend's house. He left her in the truck for "just a minute" while he went to get the syrup. 15 mins. later, when there had been no sign of him she went looking for him. He was sitting on the back porch with the friends, having a drink and talking. So she joined them though she was barely acknowledged. The friends weren't particularly nice to her and mostly ignored her. They sat there talking with them (it was the guy and the friends who were talking) for three hours - no one mentioned dinner and my friend was starving and bored to death. Oh, and it was very hot and there were lots of insects in the air. So eventually they leave and got to the restaurant, which was then closed. They had to go to another place, not nearly as nice, which was closing, but they said they could give them some fried items on the menu. So they ate this fried food, which wasn't very good, while he talked incessantly about himself. After she got home, eating the fried food on an empty stomach caused her to spend the night in the bathroom.

About two months later, out of the blue the guy called her to ask her out again. He didn't mention the previous incident. Needless to say, she was unavailable.

When she told someone who knew the guy about the incident, this person said, "I'd be worried about diseases if I were you." Apparently he had quite the reputation - for a man in his 70's.

[alkapal]

wph, i don't know which elements of that story are the most disturbing. LOL.

[Tehama]

Whoa whoa whoa! That is one for the novel! Poor gal!

[DaisyM]

Years ago I had a blind date. I lived in an area filled with restaurants and bars just two blocks away. However, my date insisted on going to a restaurant almost 45 minutes away near a mall.

He picked me up and I immediately knew this wasn't going to work. After a painful dinner of listening to him bash his ex wife, I declined dessert just wanting the night to end. And then he said, " Soooo, what shall we do now???

We could: A. Go to My Place

B. Go to Your Place or C. Call it a night"

I didn't want to be rude so I pretended to ponder that question for about 15 seconds and said, "Let's call it a night". He was clearly surprised and pissed off. There was just nothing to say on the way home. But you got to give him credit, as he's pulling up to my place he makes another attempt, "shall I come up?". I said, "I don't think so". As soon as I slammed the door, he just floored the gas.

Oh, the reason he picked the restaurant near the mall...he lived 5 minutes away and thought he was going to score.

[woodleyparkhound]

Yes - I think it's one of the most horrific first date stories I've ever heard. She is laughing about it now, I mean what else is there to do? Clearly a case of someone who has been single way too long and is looking for someone who can slot herself into his current life, without taking into account what her interests / needs might be and without making any changes or allowances. Ugh... It blew me away that he called her back like it had been a good time.

[inaplasticcup]

Looks like your friend dodged a sociopathic bullet. :|

[Jasz]

And then some people wonder why they never get second dates ;)

[bushwickgirl]

Said mildly.

[gingershelley]

ooohh, this is SO bad that I am having heeby-jeebies! really? And what age was the lady date-ee? I am hoping within range of the 70+ man?

Clearly, a man of habit, which is not always good. Can't woo a lady when your set on your friends and routine. SO sad.

Your friend should have been free to ask him to turn the truck around after the 'maple syrup house', and take her back home. Again, sometimes, even in later life, we are too nice when people are rude to us!

Viva la difference! I believe in sending to the curb any **^O(*&( person who dates my friends and treats them like on this thread... no wonder some of my GF's are afraid to date.

I think for Christmas, I am gifting 'date kits" to my single friends, with a list of CH approved resto's, breath mints, $50 bucks for an emergency cab, pepper spray, a "new emily post etiquette" book, and a link to this thread. And a condom for an evening that may not resemble the examples here!

[woodleyparkhound]

She is 60 (looks and acts much younger!).

She didn't ask him to take her home after the maple syrup incident as she was starving and had been looking forward to going to the restaurant they were planning to go to.

I like your "date kit" idea!

[sparkalina]

Hilarious thread!

I was once set up with a friend of a friend who wanted to take me out for a drink and then dinner. We met at a local club for the drink and he let me order first. I had a beer, and then he ordered a soda. Um. ok. I thought we were going for a 'drink' but no big deal.

Then on to dinner. I have been to most of the great restaurants in town and he was from a small town about 45min away... so I said he could choose. We pulled into a plaza that had 3 options. McD's, Chili's and Perkins. At this point I was actually praying for McD's because I knew it would at least be fast.

As we are seated at Perkins in the lovely flourescent light, again, he lets me order first. I wanted to make the best of it so I ordered breakfast for dinner. He says to the waitress... and let me quote... "I'll just have a glass of water. I am having some major stomach issues and I don't want to have a problem here, ya know?"

PS. He clearly had not brushed his teeth before he left his house to meet me.

[hill food]

so, he was not a keeper? some people are SO picky.

[alkapal]

LOL hill food! that sparkalina -- really high maintenance.

~~~~~
sparkalina -- i laughed about "praying" for mickey d's. and the teeth thing ----eeeuuuuwwwww!

[livetocook]

ahahahaha. Hillfood, I love all the smart ass comments you've made on this thread.

[cookmyassoff]

man u know its gonna be bad if u are praying for mcdonalds...

[cosmogrrl]

Once had a date and we decided to have sushi. I was working long hours at the time so I suggested the place a couple of blocks from my house. I had him meet me there. The beginning of the meal was fine, but he proceeded to become quite drunk, and then started to snap his fingers and yell at the sushi chef for more sushi. I was appalled to say the least, especially since I was well known at the restaurant. I was sorely tempted to pay the bill and leave when he toddled off to the bathroom, but once I'd the guts to do it I'd lost my chance, also I didn't have the check yet. He ordered a few more beers and then proceeded to light a cigarette in the restaurant. And yes, this is in San Francisco only a few years ago, LONG after smoking had been banned. He then asked to walk me home. I had no desire to let this guy know where i lived, and also didn't want to deal with the "Can I come up for a nightcap?" handsy grabby scene. I suggested we go to a bar a few blocks away. I had one drink with him, paid my tab, said goodnight quickly and then jumped into a Taxi homeward bound. Best 6 block Taxi cab ride ever!

Lesson learned, never take a first date to your local restaurant. Fortunately the sushi chef has a great sense of humor, and he had a great time teasing me about this guy for quite a while.

[hill food]

cosmo - that's the cool thing about SF, nobody at your regular place is going to get their noses in a snit over that (but with hope the sushi chef never teased you in front of a friend).

[cosmogrrl]

Oh, he did tease me in front of a friend. It was my new Boyfriend, actually. But the two of them had already started to get along quite well. I guess my sushi chef has to approve of my dates! ;) I kept the one he liked, and we're still together; living in sin!

[hill food]

what fun! (and good marks for the new guy being secure enough to laugh along)

yeah sushi chefs - the yentas for the new millenium?

[Tripeler]

CosmoG,
Congratulations on surviving that date. You really took one for the team on that one. Great that the sushi chef had such a good sense of humor.

[Klary]

You're story reminds me... About a year ago I was having a drink in a bar where I come often. Two guys started chatting with me, we ordered more drinks, it was casual and fun. I mention that I'm about to go to my favorite pizza place which is within walking distance. Once I take my seat at the pizza place, one of the 2 guys walks in and seats himself next to me. At this point I realize that he's really, really drunk. I sort of guide him through dinner, not taking it all too seriously. It was actually more funny than annoying.
But apparently he wasn't too drunk to remember my name, google me, and send me an email the next day to apologize for his behavior!

To this day, one of the guys at the pizza place teases me about the "weird guy I brought on a date" there, no matter how many times I tell him that it wasn't a date and that I'd never seen the man before....

[Muchlove]

You story is pretty awesome!

[Miss Needle]

I've stated this in another thread on CH. My strangest/bad food-related date had to do with this chef talking about this great little out-of-the-way Japanese joint. I shouldn't have gotten too excited because it turned out to be a generic Chinese fast food stand in a mall! There were way too many things wrong with that scenario.

[Tripeler]

Chances are, this chef had little understanding of Asian food.

[southernitalian]

I have a friend who is married to a chef. He's an incredibly talented chef and manages a super busy convention center dining room. They rarely go out to eat because he's so critical of the food he orders. The one place she says he is always satisfied is Outback. Seriously. Gets the bloomin' onion too!

[Withnail42]

Like they say Dr.'s make the worst patients and lawyers the worst clients.

[foiegras]

One thing you gotta give chains ... they know how to make a standard product. But good Lord ... the bloomin' onion. One time I read how many calories are in that thing ...

[cookmyassoff]

ok, double yikes on that one....

[jessabella617]

Love this thread! I've got a couple myself, however I must say that I never assume that a man will pay unless he has explicitly offered to take me out to dinner. If no arrangement seems clear I always bring cash and only order what I can afford to pay for.
That being said I still have some doozies...
Back in college I was invited out to dinner by a young man I met in a bar. He picked me up in his dorm and said he wanted to stop at his apartment and invited me in, stupidly, I acquiesced. Once inside, I realized he lived in a one room studio with one bed with his cousin. They excitedly turned on the tv because WWF was on and they watched every Monday. I sat for 15 minutes trying to figure how to politely say that I had no desire to watch WWF and that I was hungry. When I told him I was hungry (this being a dinner date and all) he immediately got on the phone and ordered pizza, didn't ask me what I wanted, nothing. 2 mediocre slices of pepperoni later I told him I was ready to be taken home, please. He told me he would take me as soon as the wrestling match was over. One hour later I was happily in my bed with a g&t sharing my story with my fabulous roommate.

About 5 years ago, when I was still poor and marginally employed I met a man on a dating site, we met for a drink and had a nice time so when he asked me out for dinner I happily accepted. Unfortunately he had to cancel at the last minute, citing an issue at work. He called the next day, apologized profusely, said he wanted to "treat" me to dinner to make up for his gaffe. We had previously discussed my favorite sushi restaurant (that I mentioned that as I had a meager food budget I could rarely afford) and as he had never tried sushi he wanted to take me to this place. I was flattered and of course agreed. I met him at the restaurant and attempted to guide him through the menu, as I have eagerly led many a newcomer toward the wonders of sushi I know it is important to start nice and slow (no uni, tako, etc at first try). I even suggested that he get chicken or salmon teriyaki if he did not want sushi. But no, he said, he really wanted to try sushi and he told me to order what I loved, enough for two. I ordered what I thought was reasonable (and not too pricey) for a first timer, 2 miso soups, a green salad and a spicy tuna roll, a california roll and some shrimp tempura avocado roll. He loved the food, encouraged me to order more if I wanted it, however I was full so I declined. Bill comes, he hands the server his credit card, she returns and tells him that his cc is declined. He tells me he has no other money, asks me what I have. I have exactly $20 (not enough to cover the tab) which is the entirety of my grocery money until my next paycheck. I am mortified, sitting in one of my favorite restaurants held hostage by the check, checked on every 30 seconds by our suspicious waitress. I tell him that I will run to the ATM and see whether it may be possible to overdraw my account when in reality I hightail it back to my house (not my finest moment!) I subsequently receive an email from him saying I was a pig who ordered too much food and I used him for a meal. An awful, awkward, embarrassing night.

[alkapal]

what can one say about such a reprobate! too bad there is no email taser.

"dear jerkwad, zzzzzzzzttttttt!"

[gingershelley]

:) Yes!

[cookmyassoff]

wwwhhhaaatttt???!!! he gave YOU crap? what about his declined credit card? damn.

[alkapal]

i love this hilarious thread.

and i'm convinced that there is potential for a "food lovers" dating site where they "match" you on dining compatibility. ;-).

[tracylee]

Ooooh, now that would make things easier! Get the empanada date rating scale out!

[inaplasticcup]

Can you imagine - it would be just like epicurious, only instead of forks, it would be these little half circle graphics to symbolize empanadas, and then after you go on a date, you come home and rate them. And if you're feeling really share-y, then you can go into comments about how you would improve the recipe I mean date.

*I found her to be a little frigid at first, but then I added three glasses of cheap Chardonnay, and that really seemed to help...*

[NellyNel]

LMAO!!!

[tracylee]

Or "needs more spice" or "sugar-coated dessert empanada". What about "a creative vegetarian empanada"?

[gingershelley]

Empanada.com! with a 1-4 scale for potential connections! I bet JF could do the code...
Who want in on foodie-dating.com?

[Peg]

I cooked a meal at the guy's house - a lovely vegetarian spicy couscous, that took ages to prepare.
When I served the food he went to his fridge and came back with some big slices of ham, which he placed on top of his food - covering his entire meal.

[montrealeater]

I once got told off, in that classic English whisper-shout, by an Englishman in a London pizza (chain) restaurant for picking up the slice in my hands. It was funny.

[Avalondaughter]

I had a boyfriend once who was always trying to be chivalrous and polite, but honestly has NO IDEA how much of a boor he was. One time we were at a Chinese restaurant and we decided to have a pu pu platter. (I know it's not exactly CH-level food, but it can be awfully tasty). You know those strips of beef on a skewer that you cook over the little fire? Well, he ate his beef and then began PICKING HIS TEETH WITH THE SKEWER. I don't even think he realized what he was doing until he saw me involuntarily looking away with disgust. Thank goodness he realized what he was doing, said, "I'm a pig," and put it down. A few months later we were at a family barbecue where they were eating corn on the cob. He and his niece and nephew complained about the corn-in-the-teeth problem and he goes inside and brings out toothpicks for all of them and they all picked their teeth at the table.

************************************************************************************
My next story is not so much about bad food dates, but about food weirdness in relationships in general. I left my hometown in the NYC area to attend college in a tiny rural PA town. My boyfriend was originally from the area. He came from a real country background and was a first-generation college student. I knew his family didn't have much money, so I didn't think too much about why he never had a meal plan at the cafeteria and brown-bagged his lunch every day (commuter student) or why he refused to split a pizza with my friends and me when we ordered one, or why he refused to go to any of the special event dinners on campus (like homecoming) and would always meet me afterwards. He also never once took me out to dinner. I just assumed it was a money thing. I remember wanting very badly to treat him to my favorite restaurant for his 21st birthday but I had no car to drive there and I knew he would refuse to drive us if I tried to take him there. I never even asked. It was just instinct.

One day he said to me that he worried that he wasn't good enough for me. He was just a humble country boy and I was this NY sophisticate. He said to me, "You need things like expensive dinners." I was a starving college student. I wasn't nearly as rich and sophisticated as he assumed. I honestly didn't care at the time that we never went out to dinner. We did lots of other stuff together and it's not as if he never spent money on me. I really didn't get what he was after.

I never did get why whenever my parents visited for the weekend he refused to go out to dinner with us when they took me out. I just assumed he was intimidated by my parents. He was afraid of sounding like a hick (my parents are not snobs at all and liked him, so I wondered what he worried about). He didn't even go to my graduation (I was a semester ahead of him).

Years after we graduated and broke up, he told me the reason why he avoided my graduation. He said he didn't want to feel pressured to go out to dinner with my parents. He said he hated all the other times we pressured him. I asked him, "Why are you so afraid of my parents?"

It turns out that it wasn't my parents he was afraid of. He was afraid of going out to dinner . He said many years ago he had gone out to dinner with his family and felt really sick afterwards. I don't know how "sick" he was. I don't know if he truly had food poisoning. He said ever subsequent time he tried to eat at a restaurant he "got sick". He pretty much decided he would never eat a meal not home-cooked again (at least he could cook).

I could see what he meant about not being right for me. I didn't mind not eating out in college, but I think as an adult I REALLY would have minded. I don't demand expensive dinners all of the time, but I might appreciate going out at least on my birthday!

***********************************************************************

I call myself a foodie, but plenty of CHs can't stand the likes of me becauseI don't like any seafood. My husband loves seafood. He can't eat red meat. He claims it makes him sick. He also is lactose intolerant and hates most cheeses (and will only eat it in dishes like pizza or lasagne). I love cheese. I love beef and pork and lamb.

Somehow we make it work. I cook a lot of chicken and turkey. He has learned to like duck too. Sometimes I'll make us separate meals where I make fish for him and steak/pork/lamb for me. He used to be a bit afraid of exotic cuisines and hole-in-the-wall places. He is WAY more adventurous than he used to be.

All's well that ends well!

[pdxgastro]

There is a Thai restaurant near where my club meets that we like to go to. One member said she always gets sick there. Every time. None of us has ever gotten sick. So we think it's psychological at this point. She *makes* herself sick. Maybe the country bumpkin did the same thing to himself?

[gardencook]

I have a couple of food allergies (yes, been tested and confirmed) that are not really life-threatening, but cause "mild" analphylaxis including gastrointestinal issues and especially vomiting. One is coconut, which over the past 40 years I've learned is actually more common than one would think. I cannot eat Thai at all because it is next to impossible to find something that has not been exposed to coconut. The few times I tried to eat at a Thai restaurant (I love to try new ethnic foods, so I hadn't wanted to give up hope that I could eat Thai) and was assured that there was NO coconut, I became violently ill. Once I was hospitalized because the gastrointestinal reaction rendered me so dehydrated and off balance with electrolytes that it was dangerous. If I were to continue to eat it, the reaction would soon develop to life-threatening anaphylaxis. This is serious business. Your friend may be truly getting ill, so don't write her off. She's probably allergic to coconut.

[gingershelley]

perhaps the stress of trying to fit in and feel that he (past BF, named Country Bumpkin above, which seems harsh - as he appeared to have many redeeming qualities), got gastric distress from just trying to worry who was watching him order and eat?

The pitfalls of being with that young man were clearly deeper than the times showed you, and really, if that much anxiety about being out to dinner with you and your parents when you are all comforable having a meal out and sharing time together, food, etc. shows he was not the young man for you..
Hope you went on to find someone more attuned to your life! And that he did for him!

[bwinter714]

I have had some very bad food-related dates, but I'll put a good food related date here :)

I will always remember the third dinner that I had with my better half when we first started dating. We had been out to dinner before, and had a blast, ordering all types of wine, great food, but pretty conventional food. I'm more of an equal-opportunity-foodie. For example, no, I've never had sweetbread, but since there are thousands of people around the world that like it, then I would absolutely give it a try. But I didn't think that she was that type of girl, a very grounded, intelligent schoolteacher. So one night at dinner, (we had a few before dinner drinks), I looked at the appetizer menu, "Sauteed baby octopi in ink sauce over spinach fettuchini" (Sorry, I know I probably butchered the spelling), my mouth was watering. I looked over at her, who was studying the menu. I said kind of under my breath, "Hmm, that sauteed octopus looks good", waiting to see what kind of reaction I was going to get, I was fearing anything along the lines of "Eww, thats disgusting". She looks at me in utter relief, and says "Oh thank God, I saw to get that too, but I didn't know if you were that adventerous!" we both had a good laugh and talked about the things we would've eaten had we both just asked eachother in the beginning. From then on, we always went to new restaurants and tried dishes we haven't tried before, even if it seemed a bit odd.

And thats how I knew I found the woman I love :)

[NellyNel]

Aww....sweet!

[livetocook]

Lvoe this story!! <3

[gingershelley]

So cute, and true... you can find your love over food adventures. It says something about how they are about the adventure of travel, life, and the adventurous road that finding love is:)

Brave of both of you, and glad you have a happy ending. With you on that one.

[tigercrane]

That's beautiful!

[cookmyassoff]

see, thats so great! thats when u know u have potential with someone....my husband isnt the most adventurous eater on the planet, but most of the time he will at least try something instead of just saying it "sounds gross". and he loves escargot so there it is...

[jmckee]

Back in my callow youth, I met a young lady in the theater group where I hung out. She was lovely, really -- smart, pretty, sharp. I asked her out on a regulation-5-9-weeknight-movie-and-dinner date.

Movie went OK. Then we went to the restaurant. She didn't eat. Or drink. Anything. Only a glass of water. I had already ordered, so I was eating. Alone. She kept saying, "I'm fine, I'm fine."

Never went out again. Heard from another guy she did the same thing with him. Apparently her mom and dad watched her and sib like hawks when eating out so they wouldn't cost too much money so she thought it would impress the guys if she didn't eat at all.

[viperlush]

That's sad.

[cleobeach]

Oh that is very sad. I hope she got past that later on. If not, based on this thread, there are plenty of guys out there who would love to take her out.

[INDIANRIVERFL]

If she would ever like to go to France with a Guy who is only fluent in menu.

[Withnail42]

Had been out with this woman several times. She seemed nice enough. One night at the end of a long day I was getting ready to go get a bite she called and wanted to get-together. I changed my plans and met up with her. We went out to a bar had a couple of drinks and ordered some of appetizers. (Which I paid for as I had on all of our previous dates.) Dropped her off at her apartment. She was in a good mood and thanked me for a fun evening. She said she'd call the next day so we could plan our next date. It had been a very nice casual evening. Two days go by and don't hear from her. So I called...

To say she was cold and angry would be an understatement. She was livid saying that it was the worst date she had ever been on how DARE I 'treat her like that'. That I was a horrible person. Needless to say I was a little taken aback. I apologized in case I had inadvertently caused offense. But I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. She just kept repeating 'You know what you did!'. No I really didn't.

Finally I managed to drag it out of her. I had, in her mind, committed the unforgivable. horrible, inhumane act of eating more than my share of the chicken strips. I didn't bother trying to make amends. It was probably the safest option. Never saw or heard from her again.

[jujuthomas]

my goodness, all that over chicken strips? imagine what would happen if someone forgot to take out the trash or something!

[viperlush]

Those must have been some really good chicken strips

[AnneMarieDear]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, Wn42! Yikes.

[foiegras]

So important to take one's meds with dinner.

[hill food]

no those were HER chicken strips. dang it.

meds would not have mattered. yeesh.

as I always say, better it happens before there are legal documents and shared financial obligations (much less children).

[cookmyassoff]

made even more bizarre by the fact that she seemed to have initially enjoyed the evening. very strange. yes i would agree w AMD that u def dodged a bullet.

[Janet from Richmond]

Mine takes place in a local dive bar. I was separated and wanted to go someplace with a bad local band, where I could wear holey jeans, a tshirt and my Yankees hat, have a cold beer and blend into the scene.

That night there was a bad wreck near the bar that had the road blocked and a man comes in, overdressed for the place (which has now gotten crowded) in a turtleneck and tweed jacket, and stands behind me to order a beer. Because of the crowd, he cannot move and we start talking. He asks what I like. I say I like food and wine. Trying to impress, he starts talking about a recent trip to the Inn at Little Washington. Not to be outdone I tell him that I have been to The Inn several times (my first husband was an original employee of the Inn but didn't share that) and from there it became a friendly food-knowledge-experience competition.

We were married 10 months later and will celebrate our 12 year anniversary in December and have now been to the Inn four times together....among many other wonderful places.

[Withnail42]

Great story!

[rabaja]

Love that!

[alkapal]

janet from richmond, i wish you would link that thread about hooch and mooch from a while back. hilarious story and sort of fits this thread's theme. but yours was like a mini-series. LOL

[Janet from Richmond]

Let's see if I can do it :-) Here it is!
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/589079

[alkapal]

haha, thanks janet. i'd forgotten that they locked the thread -- and had deleted some of the best comments. oh well. i'm still gonna be on the lookout for beachchick and yayadave. ;-)).

[hill food]

hey alk - I see beachchick around a bit, but haven't seen yayadave much lately, maybe I'm on the wrong boards/threads

[pdxgastro]

You do know that you can click on a profile and see all the posts that person has made, right?

[hill food]

well, sure if you wanna get all stalky 'n' stuff. (I do that sometimes to figure out where the poster is from, or been, if it's vague) otherwise I'm too much of a narcissist to care all that much. it's fun to see people around at random, but I stopped using the 'follow' button years ago.

[soupkitten]

omg i forgot about hooch&mooch. rotflamao. top five most awesome threads ever.

[bushwickgirl]

Wow, I remember that thread from when I first starting reposting, was quite something.

[truman]

A few tidbits...

1. Went out to brunch with a friend-of-a-friend; it was one of those ambiguous "is this a date?" events. We had a rather long wait to be seated and another long wait for our food, so by the time the server came with our plates, I was ravenous. He must have been even more ravenous - by the time I finished chewing my first bite of food, his was mostly gone. I concluded that it was NOT a date.

2. While I was on Match.com, I got tired of meeting guys for drinks, so I suggested to one that we meet at a dessert cafe instead. We waited in line, picked out our respective desserts, and paid. By the time we sat down, we'd been chatting for maybe 15 minutes - after a few emails and one quick phone call - so I wouldn't say we knew each other very well. Next thing I know, his fork is poised over my cake, and he's saying, "do you mind if I try it?" I hadn't even tasted it yet!!

3. Another blind date (another friend of a friend, actually) spent quite a bit of time after we ordered telling me what he didn't eat: meat (vegetarian by choice), shellfish (slight allergies), and a whole slew of dislikes. I'm somewhat picky, but this guy made me feel like an adventurous eater! Good thing we didn't click otherwise. (In fact, he told our mutual friend, "I think she's smarter than me... I mean, a LOT smarter...")

[ultimatepotato]

Your 2. reminded me of a food date where I was the horrible one - I ordered cheesecake, he just had coffee. The waiter brings out the slice, which was as big as my head, and says "two forks?". My response, which I'd usually jokingly say when I'm with my friends, was "no way! If he wanted cheesecake he would have ordered some. Mine. ALL mine!"

The waiter looked bemused. My date looked petrified. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to convince him to try some/convince him that I wasn't a greedy, snarky cow. We actually ended up going on a few more dates, so it can't have been a dealbreaker. But I bet if he ever refers to me, it's followed up with "you know, that girl that doesn't share cake." Oh, the shame.

[foiegras]

Sense of humor, people!! I take it as a bad sign if someone doesn't get my jokes. They are few and far between, but occasionally I do come across men without a sense of humor. You can tell them by the oddly timed chuckles, because they don't know when they're supposed to laugh ...

I'm a big sharer of food, and I actually prefer to do so before I start eating ... but have to admit a poised fork would be too much even for me.

[raisingirl]

I ordered quail at a restaurant because my date swore blind that it would come partially deboned and be easy to eat. Turned not not to be, and I wasn't game to use my fingers even though there was a fingerbowl provided, etc. When I was using my knife and fork to try and cut through the quail, it shot off the plate, flew through the air and landed in the finger bowl.

[QueenDairy]

LOL!!!

[PandanExpress]

I once dated a guy who would offer to take me out to dinner when I flew in to visit him (long distance, 2 hour plane ride). He'd take me out to dinner at Subway. I was young, stupid and in college back then and I understood that he didn't have a lot of money, but the thing that sealed the deal was that the guy also worked at subway and got sandwiches for free there.

We would get there late at night (24-hour subway, he worked the graveyard shift at another job) and he would make me a sandwich. Then we would have to go through this charade of me paying him at the cashier, which he said was for the cameras. Now that I look back at it, we were stealing from subway, because he would hand me the money back after we left.

One time, I wanted a cookie along with my sandwich, but he was too lazy to bake/microwave it and he just gave me a tub of cookie dough to eat raw instead.

Needless to say, we broke up shortly afterward and now I can't walk past a subway without cringing at the smell.

[DaisyM]

My brother was known for dating beautiful women who weren't very smart.. On a first date, the woman looked at the menu and exclaimed, "look they have soup du jour...its my favorite!"

[inaplasticcup]

OMG. That kills me. :P

[DaisyM]

I swear everytime I see soup du jour on a menu I think of my brother. And for everyone else who loves soup du jour....http://www.hark.com/clips/pkvhvkmwms-...

[soupkitten]

it's like the old saw where the waitress (never waiter) approaches the table, and one of the diners asks: "what is the soup du jour"-- and the waitress replies: "it's just the soup of the day, hun." ;-P

[mariacarmen]

no way, that's an old joke!

[SeaSide Tomato]

I think this is my favorite thread, ever.

Nicole F thank you for starting it!!

[DaisyM]

This was at brunch at one of the nicest hotels in the city. The waiter reached to remove the bread basket and my date yelled, "wrap those up...and the little jars of jam, too". I didn't think I could be more embarassed, but I was wrong. As, we were leaving I heard the waiter frantically calling me. That's right...my date didn't sign the check and was walking out.

Yes, it was the first and last date. (a fix up from a well meaning friend). And yes, the guy was then referred to as "The Jam Man".

[cleobeach]

I will admit to knowing plenty of people (many who are related to me) who would slip those little jams into their purses/pockets but not one that would instruct the waiter to make up a to-go package!

[NicoleFriedman]

:) I may be happily married now but I still love exchanging funny date stories:}

[gingershelley]

+1!

[jujuthomas]

I mentioned this thread to my DH the other day, he wanted to know if I replied to the thread with the story of our first date. No, it was not a "food horror" for me, but probably seemed so to him! we met new years eve, and I invited him over for dinner a couple nights later. we were both post-college poor so going out wasn't a real option. I cooked what I thought was a pretty tasty meal - hamburg stroganofff made with cream-o-mushroom soup, and steamed broccoli. What I didn't realize (and couldn't know at that point) was that there are just a couple things my DH doesn't eat. Mushrooms... and broccoli. he was a very good sport... frankly I don't know that he realized what was in the stroganoff until later... and stayed talking until about 2am. thank goodness he saw potential beyond that "horrible" first date, we've been together 18 years now! LOL

[Uncle Yabai]

He he. When my parents were newlyweds, they moved in to their new house, and my mother, who isn't a great cook of savories (she's an excellent pastry chef, though), decided to cook for my father. So my mother makes some kind of chicken, which apparently was vastly undercooked, and takes it into the dining room which had these transom windows that were open. My father says, "do you mind if I close the transom windows", and my mother says, why. He says, "so the chicken doesn't fly away!"

Still a good story, even after 48 years of marriage.

[pitagirl]

ha ha that's a great one Uncle.

[KarenDW]

as it turns out, for me, "no broccoli" is a deal-breaker! thankfully.

[jujuthomas]

LOL - if he had turned out to be as rigid with his food rules as he initially appeared to be, I probably would not have put up with it either. Turns out he didn't like certain foods because he'd never had good versions of them. Once he tried "my" pork chops, meatloaf... whatever else... he loved it, so we are left with just a couple dislikes and those I can live with. :)

[gingershelley]

I will share my not-quite-about-the-food date humor moment as I see that there are a few that stray a little from that...
My French BF and I met on an online dating site, and I was immediately taken with his cute kind of broken English, his wonderful nose and smile, so after exchanging some slightly awkward emails, I asked to speak on the phone. This was (when I was doing a rash of internet dating) my pre-requisite to agreeing to meet up with someone so you could know if they were re-writing and re-writing, etc. their notes, or if you have a genuine connection at least enough to go forward to seeing if there is actual pheremones in the air when you are together. Well, he emails back that his accent is kind of strong, so why don't we just meet as the phone can be kind of a barrier for him.
He is French, and I allready know from our exchanges he is well traveled, fairly sophisticated, and smart, so I make an exception and agree to a date sans-phone conversation. He suggests a smart, fairly casual French bistro for the date, and it is clear from his choice of words he is taking me out, so what can be the harm?
Well, the day comes, and there is still a bit of email going back and forth about time of reservation, etc. in the morning while I am in the office.

My co worker who I was pretty good friends with knew about the upcoming date in the evening, so when I got an email from JF saying "well, I was going to walk there, as it is not far from my condo, but it might rain - why don't you give me a ride?" I go into full-on what kind of freak is this? Should I go?
I mean, what kind of guy who has any sense asks a woman he has never met to have her let him in her car before they have even met? Is this guy AN AX MURDERER? I nearly cancelled.
Thank goodness I sent back something light-hearted to the effect that how would that be a way for us to meet, with me driving in city traffic in the rain with him as passenger for our first ten minutes of in-person conversation. Oh, and just maybe he was going to pull a knife out and kill me?
We agreed to meet as planned at the restaurant.
Fortunately, it was a fascinating evening, with a lovely french meal and wine with a wonderful Frenchman, and 3 years later we are still laughing about how I almost cancelled.
Many 2 & 3* star Michellin's later, two trips to France, Italy and Spain together and so many memories allready - I am glad I didn't decide he was a crazy stalker!

[Flaxen_Vixen]

This wasn't my date, but a date my roommate went on:

She was on an online dating site and a gentleman asked her out. She was a little hesitant because on his profile he indicated that he did not drink. They agreed on a Lebanese restaurant and met up there. The date proceeds with him telling her about the thousands of dollars of credit card debit he had and how he was pretty much broke all the time. She asked if it was ok if she ordered a glass of wine, he said yes but said that he didn't understand why she would want to drink something that was so expensive. It became obvious that his alcohol temperance was due to cost, not health reasons. When the bread basket came - balloon-like fresh pita bread - he tore off one end and stuck his hand in it like a puppet and then gestured with it like a puppet. He grabbed one of the falafel off the appetizer plate and tossed it back and forth between his hands before eating it. Generally abysmal table manners continued. The date ended he insisted on splitting the check. My roommate returned home, took one look at me and said "Do we have any gin in the house?"

[NellyNel]

AH LMAO!!!!!!!

See, this whole thread is EXACTLY why I am not interested in dating. AT ALL.

[cleobeach]

OMG! A pita bread puppet! this may win the prize for this thread.

A friend of mine is married to a non-drinker-due-to-cheapness (he has NO problem pounding back booze provided by someone else's dime) and he makes her pay for her own drinks when they go out to eat. It is like a bad date that never ends.

[2roadsdiverge]

How does she pay for her own drinks when they are married?

[cleobeach]

One would wonder........

They keep seperate finances, they each pay a certain amount towards housing and everything else is seperate. He has issues.

[montrealeater]

That is...wow...that's bad. What a jerk.

[Dave5440]

They keep seperate finances, they each pay a certain amount towards housing and everything else is seperate. He has issues.

You mean that arrangment isn't normal? That's what ours is without issues. But then again she makes wayyyyy more than me!

[QueenDairy]

ROFLMAO @ "stuck his hand in it like a puppet and then gestured with it like a puppet." WTH!!

[saxamaphone357]

I have a good one. I had just moved to a new neighborhood, and was trying to make friends with my new neighbors. They insisted that I just 'had' to go on a date with their friend Glenn, I was 'just his type'. After a bit of convincing I agreed, they seemed nice enough.

So the guy picks me up and takes me to a nice little Italian place. Most of the conversation revolves around how he doesn't think our age difference is a big deal (me 19, him 32 I think). I didn't really agree, but then again I didn't think to ask his age when I agreed to this date, so I just smiled and continued with my dinner. He suggests going to his place to watch movies. Well, ok, sure. I really had a hard time saying no to people.

We get to his house and watch a couple of scary movies. This wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't kept inching closer and closer to me, to the point that he's basically leaning on my while we watch these movies. And then my dinner comes back. I must have eaten too fast, because I started burping chicken marsala odors all over the place. I was so embarrassed, but he said it was 'cute'.

We are about half way through the second movie, when, I kid you not, this guy turns to me and says "You want to make love?" WHAT?!?! No problem saying "NO!" that time. Who asks this on a first date?? He then tries to convince me to 'stay the night', and I make up some excuse about how I have to go home because I can't sleep with my contacts on, and no, I can't go to the store and get a new contact case, I have to use my own. I even managed to hop out of his truck fast enough that he couldn't try to kiss me when he dropped me off at home.

That only had a little to do with food, but looking back on it now it's so funny I just had to share.

[inaplasticcup]

And who says *MAKE LOVE* on a first date?!?!?!

Nothing like a creep wanting to *make love* on a first date to teach you how to say no! :P

[saxamaphone357]

I know! I couldn't believe this guy actually said that on a first date, and actually worded it as 'make love'. Unforgettable, lol.

[beevod]

You had me at "managed to hop out of his truck..."

[Lizard]

So pretty much not until the end of the story?

[lilgi]

Ah, this would have creeped me out too. And it reminded me of the 'passionate lova' snl skits with Will Ferrell, hehe.

[gingershelley]

Saxamaphone, et. al.... this is all so funny I am not getting my Christmas cards done so I can read this thread!

Serious LOL material:)

[QueenDairy]

Wow! LOL!

[Rodzilla]

I took a date to a Japanese restaurant in Western, PA. I was much younger, newer to sushi, and didn't really know how to recognize quality.

We decided to order some tako nigiri pieces. They were much too large for a single bite, and the octopus was so rubbery that I actually couldn't bite the pieces cleanly in half. As I tried to pull what I thought would be the uneaten half from my teeth, I ended up taking the whole thing along with a disgusting trail of spit. Of course my date witnessed the whole thing. Luckily she thought it was more funny than disgusting.

[hill food]

a much cooler date than the one you posted upstream. a sense of humor is vital IMHO. oops! "hey remember that time you made such a fool of yerself!?" yeah laugh at me, I feel wrong when people don't.

[pdxgastro]

I guess we should add octopus to the 'do not eat on first date' list. (Like Big Macs)

[GraydonCarter]

When I first moved to Princeton, I decided to try to meet someone on the Internet. I asked an online dating prospect if she'd like to have coffee, and she recommended Ruby Tuesday's (not exactly Starbucks, but it is public, easy to find, and actually right near where I lived). We met, sat, and ordered drinks. She received a couple of text messages, but you gotta expect that from a mom with active kids.

Twenty minutes in, I asked her if she'd like to have something to eat (we're in a restaurant, so why not have a nosh?) and instead, she stands and says she needs to leave. (Don't they say women can tell within fifteen seconds if they want to sleep with someone?) Anyway, decisiveness is a fine trait. Woosh she's gone. Probably gotta pick someone up from soccer practice.

I paid the tab and drove South, deciding to stop in the Barnes & Noble to browse the books. I'm browsing through the audio books, look up, and there's my internet date having coffee at the Starbucks cafe - with another man! This is a little more than an hour after our "coffee!"

I was tempted to approach her and ask how her coffee was, but I figured, hey, good luck. Babysitter's on the clock.

[inaplasticcup]

Wow. What are the chances. At least she didn't waste time - not yours or hers.

You were a great sport about it, though. :)

[4Snisl]

Damn- I would have set a stopwatch to see how long she lasted with B&N man! You sound like a true gentleman.

[Motosport]

Her version of speed dating!!

[QueenDairy]

hahaha if she saw you she would have thought that you were stalking her! That is hilarious.

[RLTRLDY]

if she had seen you, she might have spewed frappuccino out her nose, lol!

[4Snisl]

Oh dear, these stories! Fortunately only a few on my end...

1, Someone in my office building asked me out for an early dinner straight after work. We went to a small, family-run Korean place, where he ordered an appetizer and a few entrees off the menu. (Being unfamiliar with Korean food at the time, I was happy to let him navigate the menu and tell me about the different dishes.)

The restaurant was pretty quiet- maybe one or 2 other tables occupied- so a dish was set down on our table within a few minutes. It was one of the entrees we had ordered. My dining partner nearly had a fit because it came out before the "starter"....he spoke so rudely, picked up the plate and pushed it back into the server's hands, who was confused because we HAD ordered the dish (and partly, I suspect, because he was talking very quickly/harshly in a non-native tongue for her.) The server kept trying to put the dish down, pleading for us to enjoy while it was hot. I was totally with her- it looked and smelled amazing....but he wouldn't relent.

The manager finally came over, took the plate away, and then brought the same plate back after we had finished our starter, stone cold. I'm not sure I could blame them! He wanted to leave no tip, but I added enough cash to "cover my half", which included a tip on the full bill. To this day, I can't eat Korean food without recalling this incident, though subsequent visits have been in much better company.

2. In another incident, I was sadly the offender. Went out for sushi with a guy I'd already been on a few dates with. As we were eating, he noticed that I had to bite into certain roll pieces because they were quite large. He chided me into putting a full piece into my mouth, and as I was attempting to chew and swallow, began to tease me. Much as I tried, I realized that I could not contain my laughter before swallowing.

With my mouth is full, guess where the laughter had to escape? That's right....my nose.

I hurriedly ducked my head downward into my napkin, then looked up hopefully to see what the damage was. The poor guy was sitting across from me with a stunned expression on his face, and bits of half-chewed rice, fish and avocado stuck in his beard and splattered across his shirt. (I cringe even thinking about it years later....) The only thing I could do was apologize between fits of my embarassed laughter.

He kindly paid the bill at the end of the evening and never called again.

[inaplasticcup]

I certainly hope the nasal sushi spray, which was clearly his fault, was not the reason you never saw him again. :)

[NellyNel]

Oh NO!!!
He never called again?
I was totally expecting you to say you went on to have a wonderful relationship ect...
ooh.
so funny, though, and screw him if he didnt have a sense of humor!
it was his fault, anyway for coaxing you into shoving the whole piece in your mouth! He deserved it!
LOL

[Quine]

I almost did a through the nose while reading your #2, OMG so funny, tho' I know at the time was terribly embaressing for you

[4Snisl]

You're all very kind. :) Clearly it was not meant to be....

I've abstained from eating/drinking while reading this thread because of this very incident.

[gingershelley]

That reminds me of the time when I was about 12 years old, and staying at my godparent's house... I had two slightly older god-brothers, who were like real brother's to me. All the teasing, etc. Our families went on vacations and things like that together.

Well, we were having a little supper after a matinee movie, simple meal of Campbell's good ol' cream of mushroom soup and grilled cheese. My older godbrother started making jokes and next thing I know, I am laughing so hard that soup is coming out of my nose and spraying all over both of them!
We still laugh about it to this day! Not a date moment, but it sure was embarassing. I of course had kind of a crush on one of them, even tho he was 'like a brother'. Aaaacccck.

[4Snisl]

Oh my...the vision of cream of mushroom soup through the nose.....my sides hurt.....:)

[gingershelley]

I will never live it down...:)

[QueenDairy]

rofl

[pdxgastro]

That Kemosabe can really clear the sinuses!

[inaplasticcup]

Hey guys, Big Brother's watching us again:

http://www.chow.com/food-news/90365/9...

:P

[jujuthomas]

oh, that's funny!

[Quine]

I know I hate when they grab our good posts and "report" them as if they are writing an article. Has happened to me a few times and complaining was ignored by TPTB.

[acgold7]

Um, you *did* read the TOS when you signed up, didn't you? Our *only* value is as free content providers for a massive, greedy, soulless corporation, and they can do anything they want with it. I'm okay with that.

[INDIANRIVERFL]

Reading the comments attached to the "article", It seems that few, if any, perused this thread before commenting.

[soupkitten]

that bummed me out, too. people were very judgmental based on one line excepts taken out of the context of the rest of the thread :( to everyone who was termed something nasty by the commenters on that article: *we* don't think that, about you!

[inaplasticcup]

This is par for the course with these *articles*. The same thing happened with another thread a month or two ago where we were talking about signs of bad cooking or a bad cook. Lots of people read it out of context of the original thread and got really huffy about it. Most of the quotes are selected for their power to incite and/or titillate, I'm sure. :)

[soupkitten]

omg i'm now counting myself lucky. it would be very easy for people to have a field day with excerpts of some of my own posts. . . eek. well i have a pretty thick skin, if it ever happens. but i wonder if other people hesitate to offer opinions and especially personal stories like some of these anecdotes, because of the use of excerpts in these widely read(?) stories/articles.

[gingershelley]

This just happened to me a couple weeks ago... they took my comments about how much I enjoyed the shared turreen of soup, or crock of pate, whatever it might be that often comes to your table in a French brasserie, etc. and wondering why we can't do that more here in the States, and they took it completely out of context (not even sure if some editor even read the whole post I put up) and said I was "Shocked" at this behavior in foriegn resto's!

Man I was mad. Promplty complained, and to my suprise within an hour they changed the title of the article and correctly attributed my comments turning them positive again. So suprised I got heard! :)

Man these stories are so funny... love it!

[pdxgastro]

Those 'articles' are a good thing. Sometimes I'd never see interesting threads like this one if they were not posted on the front page!

[mamachef]

Prom, '77 or so. Scenario: a small town in Northern California, trying to figure out what to order for dinner w/ my date, whom I'd have died to impress. Also trying to plan ways to eat w/o dripping anything.
Me: I'll have the Chef's Salad, dressing on the side, please.
Waitress: What's that, honey? (snaps gum)
Me: The Chef's salad, please, and I want my dressing alongside, not on the salad, please?
Her: Picky little thing, ain't you?
Me: Whaaaaa?
Her: Picky. Most yew teenage girls are, yep. Why me I ever 'time my nieces get to askin' for special favors why I just tell them they ain't but one damn cook and the cook ain't makin but one damn thing.
Me: Um. (flaming, wanting to disappear.)
Her: So, what'd you want?
Me: Prime Rib, no au jus.
Her: There you go, bein' picky again! What's wrong with awwww juice?
Me: Forget it.
So I speared a chunk when the meal came, and watched it drip, and attempted to recover and ended up dropping my entire fork, contents included, into my lap.
It didn't bode well for the rest of the evening, but OH the shame at table. Oh, feeling like I did NOT know how to communicate in even the barest of ways.

[Tehama]

You poor thing. I would have been traumatized!

I am dearly loving these stories. We need to write a collective blog just dedicated to these fiascoes!

[onceadaylily]

Hmm. Was it the time I feigned nonchalance when confronted with my first tamale, and gamely took a huge bite right into the husk? Or when I confidently agreed that sushi was wonderful (not confessing that I'd only eaten it just once, at a casual gathering, where it was relegated to the finger food category) and then promptly flipped my first piece right out of my chopsticks to the floor? In the latter case, we had an extremely deft waitress. She barely paused in her stride to scoop it up mid-roll, and then continued on. I still love her. In the first anecdote, my date's dry remark as he tried not to laugh won me over completely. Of course, we were eating in a parking lot, so the bar wasn't terribly high.

I just have *one* story I can pin on someone else. There was a guy who wanted to take me out to dinner, despite the fact that I was still sticky with breakup residue, and leaving the state in a week. I declined, explaining that I was saving every penny I had in order to start over, and that I just couldn't afford to spend any money on socializing. He persisted; he claimed he was glad to take me to dinner, and didn't want to miss even a belated chance to know me better, and he hoped to take me to his favorite restaurant. We talk a bit, I agree (because I'm sticky). He picks me up, and we drive to the city for dinner. In the restaurant, we order drinks while we are waiting for our table. The table became available before our drinks arrived, and I excuse myself to visit the restroom. When I walked back to the table, our drinks are there, my date is gone (to the restroom himself), and I am greeted by the bartender. He tactfully, and uneasily, explained that *my* drink had not yet been taken care of. The look on his face made me aware that he wasn't asking for the entire tab to be paid. "Was his drink taken care of?" I asked carefully--I was too surprised to be more tactful than that. The bartender confirmed that my date had paid for only his drink. I truly had not the money to spare, and had made that clear before agreeing to the damn dinner. I guess I can credit the breakup-stickiness for my response, because I was sick of taking it to the chin with a smile. "My date should be back in a moment," I said. The bartender hastily intercepted my 'date' when he came back into the restaurant, and the tab was paid. The funny thing was, afterwards, he told our mutual acquaintances that he'd been looking for a woman like me all his life. I still wonder if the surprise dutch was a test of some sort. I wonder what he would have done if he'd seen me bite into a corn husk.

And I think I've managed to include all of the salient points, to avoid any censure.

[hill food]

I'm surprised you didn't leave before he got back, given the clearly stated financial situation, the impending move and the (understandable) reluctance. I'd have been tempted to knock back the drink in one gulp and sail out.

[onceadaylily]

No cell phone, the 'city' was DC--a forty minute drive away from my place, and he drove. I still just feel sorry for the bartender. He had to approach my date for a second time about the tab. I can't imagine what he said . . . but he was outstandingly professional when he approached me.

But a month later I met someone who watched me bite into a corn husk. Chemistry. If it's there, it's there, and you'll overlook much.

[Tehama]

Lily - way to go! I need to get better at standing up for myself!

[mariacarmen]

was it discussed at all, when you got to the table? how bizarre.

[onceadaylily]

Nope. I just gave a calm smile when he came back to the table, as if nothing at all had happened. I felt as if I was being a little entitled/princess-like at that point, but I didn't know what *to* say without making it worse. And he paid for dinner without any fanfare. He otherwise seemed like a nice guy, and was actually from a very well-traveled and educated family. It was odd. Maybe he thought the date was a loss at an early point, but I grew on him over dinner.

[QueenDairy]

hahahaha you are awesome for that. I would've done the same.

[inaplasticcup]

Odd indeed, lily. Perhaps he would have liked you less if you paid your half. :P

[QueenDairy]

....what a jerk...

[hill food]

I met my ex (hey it lasted 17 pretty good years) at the start of Lent and he had really strict ideas about the Fast. so couldn't eat meat or chicken and was allergic to fish, and didn't like rice and beans. and didn't like tofu. made Friday date nights a lot of fun figuring what was left on the acceptable list. I stuck it out and it was worth it, but when it turns into 10 PM and there's nothing acceptable except a bag of Andy Capp's Hot Fries (bacon flavored, but no animal matter) made it a bit rough. was an awesome cook and became an adventurous eater later (the fish thing was really an adversion after a bad meal). so after Lent was over most food issues went away and everything was great, just getting there was a pain.

[sandylc]

A guy once invited me to his house for dinner. I arrived at the appointed time; he opened the door and then went back to his seat in the dining room which was near the entryway.

There I was standing there, looking at the dining table full of people (about a dozen) clearly at least halfway through dinner, and no chair for me.

Turns out it was his parents' house. I escaped in embarassement. and never discerned what his game was.

[inaplasticcup]

So he opened the door, didn't greet you or anything, and just turned back around and returned to his seat? WOW. :|

[livetocook]

hahahahaha. WTH?? who does that?

[Tehama]

I am positively loving these horror stories!

Here is mine:

When I was about 23/4 I met this man who was an attorney and a CPA both at a reception and he literally blocked the stairs to keep me from leaving the City Club. He introduced himself as - I am not kidding, as the whole night is indelibly burned on my brain, as *Mr. {first}{middle}{last}{the Third}.* I will just refer to him as Third from here on out.

Was not even remotely attracted to Third and finally made my escape. Just as I was walking into my office the next morning at 8:30 a.m. I picked up my phone as it was ringing and it was Third inviting me to dinner on Saturday. GAGH!

Being taken off guard, I acquiesced, and at some point before Saturday I called him to say I had forgotten an afternoon wedding I had to attend on Saturday, so could he please pick me up at 6:30 instead of 6:00. Saturday rolls around and he shows up to my apartment before 6:30 while I was still getting ready and my roomie at the time tells him I will be out shortly. I come out to the living room and he clapped his hand together in rapid succession whilst saying "Chop! Chop! We've got to get going; you just *had* to go to a wedding!" (o.m.g.; I should have gone back to my bedroom then and closed the door).

Third scurries us off to a close-by Italian restaurant, hassles the hostess into seating us in the smoking section (which existed at the time), and orders quickly upon being handed the menus for both of us "two mussels linguine and water, and please make it snappy!" (o.m.g. I should have walked home!). ps - I hate mussels!

While waiting on the entrees to arrive, Third tells me about the year he spent living in Japan and I asked him if he was a shshi fan (oh yes!) and he asked me if I was. I said definitely and Waraji was my favorite. Well, I guess in his eyes I slaughtered the Japanese pronunciation of Waraji because he corrected me. Twice. Bread arrives while Third is telling me about his service with the Jaycees and the fun activities they participated in. To wit, he had recently gone to an etiquette class so I asked if he had learned anything. Completely ignoring my sarcasm and pointed remark, he says, "Why yes I did. I learned you should not butter your bread the way you are doing it!"

The linguine arrived; I pecked at it and only then did I find out what the d@mn hurry was about - he had bought theater tickets for a local production of the Patsy Cline story (which was, as I recall, the only part of the evening that I liked).

After the play he asked if I wanted a drink (h#ll yes I want and need a drink desperately), and he takes me to this ancient HOTEL in town that is round-shaped and tells me it is the best kept secret in town. WTF? I told him I was not going to a hotel with him and he said, no, it was the restaurant on the top.

Ohhhh. OK. Let's please go to the decrepit hotel that might fall over at any moment. We go up to the top floor (only time in my life I have ever been there) and the view was indeed nice, but that is all I can say. The lounge had last been updated roughly in 1978 and Mr Cool Third orders again for us. This time I took a stand. Third ordered two WHITE ZINFADELS!!!!!!! Gag me. I was only 23/4 at the time, but even I knew then that was a huge no!no!, not to mention it was a man ordering one for himself.

Me: Sorry! I will have a Makers Mark + gingerale please.
Third: That is very heavy; she will have something lighter
Me: No! Bring me the Makers Mark. As quickly as possible, please.
Third: look of haughty disdain.

This night of horrors further devolved, but that was the last food/drink related occurrence, so I guess I need to stop there.

[inaplasticcup]

This is too funny. For some reason, I picture Third with very neatly combed hair with the gel still visible.

I'm not in the market to date now, but I can certainly sympathize with your having done that at 23/24. I've gone on a few bad dates when I should have known better, or stayed on those dates far longer than I should have because I didn't trust my judgment or intuition as well as I should have.

But all these crazy date stories sure make entertaining reading. :)

[jujuthomas]

seriously, ordered for you? twice?? gak!
*shudder* sounds horrible.

[NicoleFriedman]

That's hysterical! I hope you learned the cardinal lesson of dating; do not be "nice" by saying yes when you mean no. It will save you a LOT of grief:}

[TheFoodEater]

I think at this point in your story "That is very heavy; she will have something lighter" you are entitled to throw your drink on him. I couldn't even imagine ordering a drink or an entree for someone else, unless they told me what they wanted their order to be and asked me to order while they ran to the bathroom or made a cell phone call outside or something. His telling the waiter "no" after you order what you want just blows my mind.

[crowmuncher]

"and please make it snappy!" (o.m.g. I should have walked home!)"

it's funny cuz when i was 23/4 i would of stayed too -afraid of not being polite; but many years later- like today- i wouldn't walk, i would run home at that point and would not care less about calling out Mr. Third on his "douchy" behavior in front of that server and those near our table :)

And on a side note I'm very proud to say I've never dated a man that has ordered a White Zinfandel for himself, but maybe I'm just lucky that way ;)

[inaplasticcup]

I'm trying to think if I've ever known a man whose drink of preference was white zin... I don't think so.

[crowmuncher]

and you should be very proud of that...

[alkapal]

crowmuncher -- when we were young, we didn't have wrinkles but were more afraid to speak our mind….now with wrinkles, we don't care if someone doesn't "like" what we have to say and we don't have to put up with crap that we don't like, either.

ah, liberation! ;-)).

[crowmuncher]

we deal with crap all the time Alka, but that doesn't mean we have to like it right? Damn straight!

[NellyNel]

So true!

Freedom!

[rohthepro]

Hey that was me!!

[tigercrane]

Was the hotel the Standard in Los Angeles?

[QueenDairy]

LOL what a disaster.

[Manderley]

i am a "foodie", always willing to try new things, and the thought of Denny's or Olive Garden gets my bowels in an uproar. i married a guy who likes "simple" food, to the point of NO dairy (yes, no cheese other than what comes on a pizza LOL), and NO FISH (i adore sushi). he's a meat and potatoes man, and that's it. but he was more than willing to go anywhere i wanted, and he could always find something on the menu that he could eat. we've been long divorced, but that willingness to let me "do my thing" still makes me smile. he never made me watch sports, either. thanks, pat, wherever you are. ;)

[Sommelier]

Back when I was cooking professionally, I asked a young lady to join me and a few friends at my apartment for dinner. So... I made fresh noodles to toss with the sauteed cucumber slices with capers & dill. Seafood mousse steamed inside rolls of Bibb lettuce leaves, herbed Beurre Blanc. Made fresh melon sorbet. Nice wines.... . My friend's wife says to my date "You've harly touvhed your food. Aren't you enjoying dinner?" "Not really", she says. "I would be happy with a sandwich."

[cookmyassoff]

yikes, i totally feel for u. sounds like u went all out and thats what u get? damn

[Kontxesi]

How awful. I almost feel for her, though. I'm trying to teach myself to be adventurous with food, but capers and any word before "mousse" except "chocolate" are still scary for me.

Though, I absolutely wouldn't have said anything about a damn sandwich. I would have been almost in tears from embarrassment about not being able to eat what someone had worked so hard on. :(

[EWSflash]

Well, there was the guy that invited me out to dinner and then proceeded to not take me out OR fix anything for dinner.

And the young doctor that asked me out for dinner and took me to Jack-in-the-Box. I have nothing against JITB, but I guess it made me feel not very special, you could say.

One guy took me out to a nice French restaurant. It was a small place and there was a group of people who would not leave so we sat there for nearly an hour (with reservations, no less) waiting. The owner came up and apologized, and bought us bottle of wine. At the time I was very thin, and probably hadn't eaten all day. When we were finally seated, the food came out in beautiful tiny courses, which was a nice change from where I usually ate at the time. One course came out, it was maybe three bites' worth, and looked gorgeous. I was marveing at the sight of it when my date said "Eat it slowly. Savor the taste." I said "Why did you say that? Was I drooking on the plate?" I think he thought he was very sophisticated and I was very Not and he was going to teach me. I told the friend that introduced us that I should have picked the food up with my hand and crammed the whole thing into my mouth.

[Jasz]

You just reminded me of the guy who asked me out on a lunch date after church and then spent 2 hours driving around the city in his (pretty grubby) truck because he couldn't decide on a place, shooting down my suggestions and ignoring the longing looks I gave to restaurant after restaurant as we sped on by.

[QueenDairy]

hahaha that is truly awful Jasz

[babette feasts]

Early 2007 went on a couple of dates with a guy whose favorite subject was how the housing bubble was going to burst and nobody realized - I wonder if he was happy to be right about that? Anyway, he invites me to his place for his specialty seafood Alfredo pasta. I get there and the kitchen was completely filthy. Dishes everywhere, not a single bare spot on the counter gross. The one impressive aspect was he made his own pasta. But the famous seafood Alfredo was various cans of sea food glued together with whatever sauce. Can of oysters, can of salmon, can of god knows what -4 or 5 cans. This is in seattle where finding good fresh or even frozen fish is as easy as breathing. I brought a bottle of wine and the only glasses he had were these cheesy metal chalice things that gave the wine an off taste. Messy, mediocre, ruined wine...did not go back for more.

[EWSflash]

I think I know that guy.

[tigercrane]

OMG that its gross!

[QueenDairy]

BARRFFF

[cookmyassoff]

geez, way to impress a girl. i mean, at the asian stores here in landlocked denver, u can even get fresh oysters, clams, etc. come on! and also, player, ur dating and inviting women to ur apartment....u cant go to friggin pottery barn already and buy a pack of 4 wine glass for like 10 bucks?

[crowmuncher]

"3. The cheap guy. (An accountant by the way!) He kept telling me he was taking me to a great restaurant. He took me to a hole-in-the wall empanada place. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing bad about empanadas. But don't talk it up like it's a 5 star restaurant:}"

Are you sure he was being cheap? Maybe he was just trying to be original. Maybe it was one of his favorites and he wanted to share that with you and learn how compatible you were? What did he do/say that convinced you he was THAT guy? "the cheap guy"

[Fromageball]

I was thinking the same. A "great restaurant" to me isn't necessarily the most expensive one. Plenty of my favorites are cheap, hold-in-the-wall places and if a guy took me to one of them, it would definitely be a plus in my book.

[crowmuncher]

yeah at least they gave it some thought instead of going for the "name" they expect everyone to like and if they are taking you to their favorite hole in the wall, they are really taking a chance and not just playing it safe...so sexy ;)

[NicoleFriedman]

Sorry if I didn't elaborate enough. If you've read any of my other CH posts you'd know how much I adore a good hole-in-the-wall. The fact that he took me to a hole-in-the-wall was not the issue. The issue was that he talked about it as if he were taking me to Per Se... he made me expect something completely different. On top of that, after I made it clear how hungry I was, he ordered me a single, teeny tiny empanada. Oh- to get there- it was freezing cold and raining- he insisted that I walk, freezing cold and wet to the bus. Combine this with a previous date to a museum, where we had gone to the counter and after paying for himself ($5 a person) he looked at me and said "Are you going to take care of this?" And before you wonder if perhaps he was simply broke, he bragged about the amount of savings he had due to living in a teeny tiny room in his mother's apartment. Yes, he was cheap:} Compare this to my hubby- he loves the hole-in-the-wall. However, he knows that there is a difference between Mamoun's Falafel and Le Cirque. More importantly, he never would have made me walk in the freezing rain to a bus on a date. After the first date, I did help pay for the dates but he never would have put me on the spot the way "cheap guy" did. I gave "cheap guy" his moniker because he did not know how to treat a lady. I believe in chivalry:}

[inaplasticcup]

I have to laugh at how easy it is to leave out pertinent details when you're trying to be efficient enough to respond on this thing without taking an afternoon to write a novel. These details definitely explain the Cheap Guy moniker.

I think regardless of gender, when it comes to dating, hope and optimism make us tolerate a lot of stuff we normally wouldn't.

[Whinerdiner]

"... when it comes to dating, hope and optimism make us tolerate a lot of stuff we normally wouldn't."

I love that. It explains so much...

[crowmuncher]

"after I made it clear how hungry I was, he ordered me a single, teeny tiny empanada"

i just read your resply this morning Nicole; A girl's gotta eat and I agree a single, teeny tiny empanada is just not worth it ;)

[MelMM]

But it begs the question, why didn't she order herself another empanada, or two, or three? Isn't it one's own responsibility to see that one's needs are met?

[PotatoHouse]

[Quote] Isn't it one's own responsibility to see that one's needs are met? [/Quote]

If so, then why date in the first place?? ;-p

[crowmuncher]

yeah, she could have asked for more, but shouldn't he have given her more in the first place? That's why dating is good. It gives you an idea of how compatible u are. Seems like Nicole (same as me) prefers the kind of date who's generous with the empanadas ;)

[inaplasticcup]

We should come up with an Empanada Rating scale for dates now, like, *That was the best date EVER. I give him four out of four empanadas. Two thumbs wayyyy up!!!*

[crowmuncher]

great idea; some of those empanadas are very labor intensive (and delicious) so it makes perfect sense that they be a standard for a Date Rating Scale :)

[tracylee]

4 out of 4, 'cause that's all I've got. Or in her case - exactly 1 out of 4!

[alkapal]

i like that empanada scale. since i'm married, i'll have to find other applications. mr. alka prefers salteñas…, but "salteña scale" just doesn't have the same catchy ring to it. LOL. in fact, it sounds like something one would have to get removed by the dermatologist -- or by the scrubbing bubbles on the shower tiles.

~~~~~~~~
and as to dates, if he gave her a tiny little empanada, just call him "the wee empanada" -- IF ya get my drift.

[crowmuncher]

yeah- u can bet there isn't more where that teeny empanada came from ;)

[hill food]

wouldn't that be an empanadilla?

[crowmuncher]

exactly Hill! ;)

[alkapal]

the empanadilla as opposed to the "whole enchilada" LOL

ladeeez, you know of what i speak.

[tracylee]

Or the "Big Juan" soda size that Taco Time used to carry.

[mariacarmen]

hey, how does your hubby know salteñas? i prefer them to empanadas too, but you're right, empanada scale just sounds better.

[alkapal]

we learned about salteñas from my former secretary, who is bolivian. there is a place near my "beauty shop" (LOL) that makes some pretty good ones. what really makes them special is the hot green sauce.

[mariacarmen]

where do you live, again? I'm in SF and have found 1 place that makes them, but they're not the best I've had Of course, the best I've had were in La Paz, visiting family this past June! I wonder what sauce you had with them.... Llajwa (the traditional bolivian hot sauce) is reddish. i'm sure your secretary had you try some. Peru has a delicious green hot sauce, just called aji.

[alkapal]

i live in arlington, virginia, next to d.c.

the green sauce is probably basically the pepper (don't know the variety -- doesn't taste like jalapeño or serrano)…. maybe onion, vinegar and water. not sure if it has cilantro -- maybe a little, but the sauce is blended and a uniformly medium-bright green color.

[kubasd23]

alka, are you talking about pike pizza?

[alkapal]

no, next to pike pizza -- it is pan american bakery. mr. alka likes the chicken salteñas, and if you order two, make sure that they give you two sauces (they always try to skimp on those!).

[kubasd23]

I'm talking about the little bolivian restaurant that has amazing chicken saltenas (only on sat. morning, early).

[alkapal]

yes, i know the place. it is right next door. the bakery has salteñas every day.

i am curious to know why they are "amazing" salteñas at the pike pizza. i think we had them once but were not impressed. what am i missing, compared with those from pan american bakery?

[cookmyassoff]

yea i totally get it but i think the "living in a teeny tiny room in his mother's apartment" might have been the deal breaker for me. unless u guys were 20 or something, its sorta time to move out of "moms"....

[tigercrane]

Yeah. Some of the best secret dining places are "hole in the walls." That's actually the kind of place I might choose for a date (although I'm not crazy about empenadas. It shows his ability to find out of the way restaurants, and sophistication with ethnic food.

And girls that choose guys based on how much money they blow on them probably aren't people I want to date.

[cookmyassoff]

yea but sounds like this guy was trying to act like they were going to a 3 michelin star, fine dining establishment. also sounds like she would have been fine with it if he had just been honest and said "we're going to get empanadas" instead of trying to make it something that it wasnt. i mean, if u were taking a date to go get empanadas, why wouldnt u just say so? and theres a huge difference between spending a weeks paycheck on one date, and expecting ur date to be satisfied with one small empanada, which arent that expensive anyway. i wouldnt necessarily choose a guy based on, as u say, how much money they blow. but i definitely would choose a guy based on whether or not he was honest. he could have just been honest.

[mariacarmen]

This is not so terrible, compared to the stories posted here, but i went on a date with a long-time ex-co-worker/boss who was also a good friend and newly divorcing and had always fancied we had mutual chemistry. i just liked him as a friend, but what the hell, he was a nice guy so i went. takes me out to a nice place, and at the table, as he's pouring the wine for me, a drop is just about to drip onto the table and he quickly lunges and takes a swipe at the bottle with his tongue! it almost didn't even register with me, but then i looked at him, and he'd stopped mid-lick, and said, "I can't believe i just did that!" and i said, "I can't believe you just did that either!" we laughed. i was right, tho: there was no chemistry there at all, for me, as i found out later, and i sent him an ill-timed little note (we lived in different parts of the state) saying i didn't think we were a good match (not because of the wine incident) which unfortunately crossed with a sweet note he'd sent ME saying quite the opposite! i felt terrible. but, he's happily with someone else now and so am i.

[PotatoHouse]

Election Day 2004.A lunch of liver and onions with mac and cheese and fried okra at a local diner in Georgia with an ex-girlfriend led to my second marriage and ultimately my second divorce. :-p

[mamachef]

Some people are just so weird about mac and cheese. :)

[Jasz]

I was on a first date set up by one of my cousins and the guy announced that he wouldn't eat ANY type of fruit and then told me that that meant that I would not be "allowed" to make any sort of fruit pie for him. Things got weirder after that, but not food related.

[mamachef]

Interesting choice of words, as in, RUN LIKE HELL. I BET it got weirder!! ;P

[cookmyassoff]

ok, yea, the word ALLOWED is sort of a big red flag for ya right there....

[Isolda]

I was invited to the apartment of a guy I'd dated a few times for dinner. When I got there, he had homebrewed beer (delicious), and bowls of peanuts, saltines, sardines, raisins, M&Ms, and a few other things I can't remember. That was dinner.

After I married him, I did all the cooking, and still do, 20 years later.

[EWSflash]

Isolda, I love it!

[Taffy2003]

I like that! It sounds to me like he wanted to share his favorite foods with you. I think about the bird species whose male brings bits of blue things to the female he is wooing. I just can't remember the name of the bird, though.

[INDIANRIVERFL]

Bower bird

[Taffy2003]

Thanks, Indian!

[hill food]

awww that IS sweet, in his own inept way.

[bushwickgirl]

That some have been some damn fine beer.

[NicoleFriedman]

I forgot to add the one about Pineapple Guy. I made the horrible mistake when I was really young and naive of going to this guy's apt (I needed the restroom). All around his apt were paintings he had made of pineapples. That's right. Just pineapples. Really bad, elementary school ability pineapples. He kept trying to corner me and fool around... right next to his pineapples. That was the only time I literally ran away from a date.

[inaplasticcup]

By any chance was his last name Squarepants?

[mamachef]

Maybe Pineapple guy was heavily invested in the pineapple as a symbol of welcome and friendship, 'cause it sounds like he was trying to be awfully friendly with YOU, miss.

[NicoleFriedman]

LOL. I'm thinking now of the movie Little Nicky and the scene with a pineapple:}

[soupkitten]

oh great. now i'm thinking of hitler in a french maid outfit. :-/

[hill food]

ehh too Monty Python...

[buttertart]

No such thing as too much Monty P.

[hill food]

true, except then it would be Mlle. HiLter

[buttertart]

Indeed it would, unless it were Clodagh Roberts or Lev Davidovitch Trotsky...with an only slightly-impaired Crunchie bar.

[Withnail42]

No one expects too much Python.

[hill food]

now THERE was a bad (ok boring) date as much as I love that stuff, sitting through dinner while the other recites their favorite obscure bits..."new brain (pointing)" only goes so far. "CHECK!"

[alkapal]

….or the spanish inquisition.

[kubasd23]

I quote this all the time. I know when i've met someone i'll get along with when they recognize the quote :)

[alkapal]

aha! good tip! ;-)).

i think that is my fave skit.

[lemons]

Spent two weeks in South America on a wine trip with four guys in the back of the small bus doing MP skits from memory. It was a lot like summer camp but with alcohol, one of the most delightful times I can recall, except when a drunken winery employee tried to put the moves on one of the women in the group as we were leaving after dinner. Her elderly husband grabbed the guy by the throat and picked up his cane in order to soundly thrash him, whereupon the Python Chorus stepped in and removed the cad from the bus, onto which he had lurched in hot pursuit.

[cookmyassoff]

theres a poster on the denver area "yelp" whos profile pic is of her with a big ol sombrero and her tagline is "nobody expects the mexican inquisition"....awesome

[canadianbeaver]

Definitely had to be the guy who took me out the day before my birthday, and made a big deal at the restaurant that it was my birthday, had them sing me happy birthday, and bring out a piece of cake—and when the bill came, he didn’t even gesture to pay or go for the bill, instead I paid (including the cake!).

I also got taken out ON my actual birth day, and the guy told me he had no money on him and I paid. Hmm…maybe birthday-dates are not good luck…

[LeoLioness]

1. When I ordered a cocktail, the guy asked "Do you REALLY need that? I'd like to get to know you WITHOUT alcohol if you don't mind". I didn't need it before, but I certainly did after that comment.

2. Being taken to the Cheesecake Factory and my date looking at the menu, sighing with contentment, and murmuring "I love this place". When his meal arrived he couldn't stop praising it. He used the phrase "to die for" which is bad enough, but about a chicken pasta dish from the Cheesecake Factory? Really?

3. The Cheap Guy. He chose a mid-priced restaurant. Neither of us ordered anything crazy. Prices were clearly marked on the menu. When the check came he was outraged at how "ridiculously expensive" it was. I took that as a hint so I handed him some cash (not a problem), which he refused but he made mention of the cost two more times, when leaving a tip and when we parted ways. Uncomfortable and weird. Was I supposed to be wildly impressed that he bought me a $22 entree? Was simple addition just not his thing?

[kubasd23]

I've read through this thread a ton of times, and EVERY time your description of your date "looking at the menu, sighing with contentment, and murmuring 'I love this place'" makes me snicker out loud! It conjures up images in my head and I just can't even imagine how you kept your cool sitting at that table. Kudos.

[tigercrane]

22 dollar entree is "mid priced?"

[hill food]

mid priced depends on the city and a lot of other variables

[cookmyassoff]

its all relative.....22 dollar entree in a tiny little midwest town with nothing but a truck stop diner? outrageous. 22 dollar entree in on the upper east side in manhattan? cheap. 22 dollar entree in say, denver? yea, mid priced. all relative my friend. but no matter where u are, at least to me, if u are complaining about a 22 dollar entree when u are trying to impress a date? then u are cheap. u probably arent going to spend that every day on a meal after u get to know each other, but remember this is a "first date" situation.

[ultimatepotato]

Internet dating - he propsoses we meet and wants me to choose the place (these guys never seem to want to make a suggestion, but that's another thread entirely). He's mentioned that he's not a big drinker, so instead of the usual 'let's meet at x pub for a pint', I suggest my favourite pattisserie for tea and cake. That's right buster, if you ask a girl out and then leave her to do all the planning, you end up having tea and cake on wrought iron chairs.

Anyay, we meet at the appointed time. Before we've even entered the place, he's managed to tell me that he's leaving his job and they are quite happy to have him go, to the point where they won't be replacing him. Erm, ok.

Go in, order at the counter, take a seat.

Over the course of the date I found out the following: he's been out of a 3-year relationship for 4 weeks (you read that right - 4 weeks. And he'd been on the internet for 2 of them). He's broke, because he's really bad with money. He's struggling to find a place to live, because he's broke, owes his ex money, because she paid the rent, because he's really bad with money. When he said he 'wasn't a big drinker', he was alluding to the fact that he's a black-out drunk and he'd gotten too wasted to get home 4 times in the last 3 weeks. At this point I was looking around for my friends, thinking that they must be hiding somewhere with a camera.

How does any of this relate to food? Well, in a desperate attempt to turn things back to a neutral subject, I asked him how his coffee was, as I'm aware that London coffee can be a bit...meh. He pulls a face and says "it's not bad, it's just that I prefer instant. I don't understand why people pay for coffee when you can get it free from the machines they have in offices." Then he attacked my choice of a herbal blend tea, stating that it "isn't tea at all, why does anyone drink that?". So, moving swiftly along, I try to ask about food. "Oh", he says, "I'm very particular about food". So I enquire more, thinking that this homeless alcoholic that wants a new girlfriend to pay for his next flat is about to stun me with his rules for the best lobster bisque. "Yes - ketchup has to be Heinz. I won't eat any other type."

At this point, I excuse myself to the ladies with my bag and coat. Go inside, pay the bill and return with my coat on and my bag over my shoulder. I told him it was lovely to meet him, but that I had an early start and should be heading home. It was 7:45pm. The date lasted 45 minutes. My friends refer to him as 'Ketchup Guy'.

[mamachef]

I think the phrase "very particular about food" is actually something that should set off alarm bells, considering. :)

[jujuthomas]

well, that's one for the ages! LOL.
I don't have a lot of food-related dating stories I guess... I did date a guy whose favorite restaurant seemed to be taco bell.

[NellyNel]

WOW, ultimatepotato. Wow.

Great story though - very funny!

[lcool]

Your tale is ??? ,makes me happy to be old and after 40 years even happier to be married.

[EWSflash]

Holy cow.

[thew]

just a note - often when a guy says he doesn't have a place in mind he means "i'd just like to be on a date with you, so anyplace you enjoy and are comfortable" and not "i'm such a loser i cannot plan a date without your help"

[ultimatepotato]

I appreciate that - I don't think guys are losers because they want me to be comfortable, I just found it a bit odd that in my run of online dating, most of the guys I met face to face took a very passive role in terms of organising the first date beyond the initial asking. When I ask a guy out, it's usually along the lines of "hey, want to grab a coffee/beer/movie some time?", so it's nothing too dramatic like "I have a spare ticket to the Zombie Apocolypse, want in?". For the online stuff, it wasn't even that level of detail, they would just say "want to meet up?" and then it was up to me to figure out the schedule, the location...the escape routes.

I don't know - I started writing that thinking I could explain myself a bit better, but it turned into a mess. I figure that they're trying not to appear controlling and domineering, but after a while it just felt too passive. And then I'd feel like a pill, because it wasn't the fault of the individual - my frustration was the result of collective experiences.

[Bill Hunt]

Do not feel too bad. Many of my "great ideas" end up that way too - seemed so much more relevant and astute, when I started, but I kept digging, and digging... [Grin]

Very obviously, and from comments above, when I was last "dating," things were quite different. Still, some of the same issues prevailed, though in different forms. Still, there were the "let's grab lunch together," to "do you want to come with me to Elsie's happy hour," to "I've always wanted to dine at _____, and I would love for you to be my date."

Some of the options have changed, along with the modes of communication, but in the end, there are probably ("probably," as I really do not know) many similarities. Still, what do I know?

Hunt

[hill food]

and you DIDN'T immediately invite him to move in? someone's sorta cautious...

and BTW ketchup DOES have to be Heinz (if not homemade or a Filipino Banana type)

[ultimatepotato]

Oh no, I totally called him the next day - he's still crashing on my futon. We have the odd disagreement about condiments, but as long as I pay the bills on time we seem to jog along just fine =P

[mariacarmen]

LOVE IT.

[hill food]

I like happy endings so much.

[DC in DC]

You win.

[cookmyassoff]

ok im laughing out loud at "homeless alcoholic that wants his new girlfriend to pay for his next flat, etc" and thats before ive even reached the elitist ketchup attitude part yet. thanks for the laugh.

[gembellina]

Went on a date last night and the poor boy went green when his grouse arrived with feathered ankle and clawed foot still attached, and a finger bowl making it clear he was expected to shake its claw and rip the meat off with his teeth. I gave up my delicious beef fillet to take over with the bird. Luckily he's very good-looking and we've been together 3 years so he might still get a 500th date!

[foiegras]

I must say, the food/dating experience I look back on most fondly was at a real Chinese restaurant, where I ordered the hot pot, which arrived complete with tripe. I am not really a tripe girl (though I've eaten it happily raw and very finely sliced--a whole chunk just gets me). He traded for his more normal dish, and I've been forever grateful. (A feathered ankle would get me too!)

[Bill Hunt]

OK, I'll play along.

Still dating, I took my now wife to a local yacht club. As a member of another yacht club, I was invited in. We all sat, and ordered drinks. As fate would have it, my wife (then my date), spilled hers, and then grabbed mine, pouring it on the floor. When I asked what she was doing, she said that she feared that I would pour my drink on her, after she spilled hers.

OK, whatever, and at some point, my parents paid "double" for that date.

Hunt

[2roadsdiverge]

I'm confused. She was worried that you would deliberately pour your wine on her? What, as punishment for spilling hers? Or was she saying that it is so easy to spill the wine she didn't want to take any chances. I imagine you eating on a boat in a heaving sea, with the wine precariously sliding all over the table...

[thegforceny]

Yeah, I'm with 2roads, this sounds stupid. Unless I'm not understanding it correctly.

[Bill Hunt]

I thought it horribly silly. After decades, I still bring it up for a laugh, but only at ~ 5 year intervals. No since in throwing away all that time, for something that happened in the mid-60's, at least not in my book. Silly it was, and an even bigger surprise, than her spilling her wine, with some landing on me. Who knew?

Hunt

[Bill Hunt]

All that I have to go on is what happened, and what she said at the time, but yes, I believe that she assumed that because her wine was spilled, and some onto me, that I would pour my wine onto her. Not one chance in heck, but then we had only been dating for a few months, and she did not know me THAT well. After almost 41 years of marriage, I think that she knows me well enough, by now, to know that I value good wine too much to spill ANY of it!!!!!

That incident was at Southern Yacht Club, and then, it was built on fairly solid ground - no pitching and rolling there.

Hunt

[eLizard]

i had a date with a guy who ordered his sushi with no kimosabi....i was looking for the lone ranger. same guy, same date....check comes, and he says, "oh, i was only a dollar off from what i thought it would be."

[inaplasticcup]

Thanks for the afternoon cackle, Lizard. That's awesome.

[wadejay26]

Literally burst out laughing when I read "kimosabi"--thanks!

[NicoleFriedman]

It took me a minute to figure that one out!

[NellyNel]

Hilarious!!!!!

Yikes!

[Terrieltr]

The check thing sounds a little like my brother. He always loved numbers and would calculate that tip percentage for fun when we were kids.

[foiegras]

I am LOL too ... you win the prize!!

I don't have any great stories, but did date a couple cheapskates. One took me to a 'Chinese' restaurant, and I remember the pained look on his face when I ordered an entree a dollar or two more than his AND a Dr Pepper. (He was right--I do like to throw money around.)

[cookmyassoff]

well, ur user name is foiegras so one has to assume u are used to eating good stuff. "pained look on his face when i ordered an entree a dollar or two more and a dr pepper"....how dare u want a beverage! just run....

[Foodapotamus]

A couple of years ago I was asked out on a date by a friend of a friend. He said he’d love to take me out to dinner blah blah blah. So date night comes, he shows up at my house, and asks me where I’d like to go. I expect if a guy invites me to dinner that he has at least considered a couple possible restaurants to go to. He honestly didn’t even have a suggestion. Oy!

Whatever, the date must go on, so I pick a favorite Thai place of mine down the street.
First things first, the waiter comes and asks what we’d like to drink. I’d love a beer, but before I open my mouth he blurts out “we’ll both have water!” Whelp, looks like I’m having water…

Deep breath, let’s look at the menu. I enjoy trying different dishes and suggest ordering two entrees to share but he states that he really loves some dish and would rather not split it. So he’s not a sharer, not terrible, but probably not going to make it with me as I’m the one who wants always wants to try a bite.

When the dishes come he takes the ENTIRE large bowl of rice and proceeds dump its contents onto his dish. He then stirs everything up totally ignoring the extra plates they brought. I guess the idea that you could scoop rice and some of your entrée onto a separate plate never occurred to him. Not only did this make a terrible mess all over the table but it looked like a pile of glop and there’s no rice left for me!

He then proceeds to pick up his spoon like it’s a shovel and eat with terrible table manners: talking with his mouth full, taking drinks from his water while still holding his spoon in the attack position, arms on the table like he’s protecting his plate, napkin not in his lap, etc. I was so embarrassed.

Finally, the bill comes and prince charming suggests we SPLIT THE BILL- he asked if he could “take me out to dinner” and wants to split the bill?! If I was going to be paying for my dinner I would have ordered that freaking beer (and lord knows I need one at this point.) When we get up to leave he asks what we should do next (because he obviously hadn’t planned anything) and I said I had to wash my hair and had him take me home. As soon as I got home I called my sister and met up with the girls for a glass of wine and a hilarious conversation about dates gone wrong.

[Bill Hunt]

Oops! Sounds like a bad date.

Now, back when I was dating, if the young lady had looked me in the eyes, and asked about sharing entrees, it would have been almost as compelling as asking if I would share my "precious bodily fluids" with here. Guess that I just did not date the right people?

Hunt

[sandylc]

Opinions, please...

When my husband and I were dating, it was clear that he had not learned table manners (a parental crime, IMO). He was eager to learn and did well. Move forward 25+ years, and he seems to be regressing; holding his fork like a weapon and waving it around, speaking with his mouth full, etc. He is offended when I ask him to use manners.

Is there hope?

[inaplasticcup]

Has he given you any indication as to why he's regressing, sandy? Sometimes I think I see this kind of, for lack of a better word, *defiance*, from my dad to my mom. In their situation, it almost seems like an assertion of autonomy or independence in the home environment where my mom takes the reigns on most issues.

[Bill Hunt]

Sandy,

I think so. He expressed a desire earlier in the marriage. So, what's changed? Is it the crowd that he runs with? Is it the restaurants, that he frequents?

This is off the top of my pointed head, but in private conversation, you might mention how things were, and ask what he thinks has changed. On some aspects of my behavior, my wife has done that, and if I reflect a bit, I can usually tell her some of the causes, or at least the stimuli, that has changed me. It also points out what I can do better, so I think deeply about that.

Good luck,

Hunt

[pdxgastro]

Maybe he just doesn't give a shit anymore?

[cookmyassoff]

ahahahaha thats awesome. thats one of the benefits of a lot of asian/indian type places....sharing!

[mamachef]

On the manners tip, (or quirks, really) I had a friend who went on a set up date w/ a fella who took her to the Sizzler salad bar. He LOADED a plate with his self-crafted pyramid du vegetables, covered it in dressing, and sat down at the table, knife and fork in hand, where he proceeded to begin mincing his salad items; literally shredding them to a mush. While he did so, he regaled her with a happy little story about how the last girl he took out told him that that particular habit was a dealbreaker for her, and he didn't see her again.
When the salad could be mounded in a teaspoon and basically eaten without chewing, he fell to. And that was THEIR last date, too.

[Isolda]

I think you might have dated my brother. He has Asperger's so doesn't read social cues and is a CPA/CFP, so is unbelievably cheap (ergo, no beer, splitting the bill). He did manage to get married eventually, you may be pleased to know. Or not. ;+)

[smartie]

ha sounds like the same guy I once dated, Ruby Tuesdays was his choice (err ok), so we go and order a burger each, he asks for ketchup which comes in a metal bowl, scooped all of it on his fries, then says oh did you want some? Ate with his mouth open throughout too.

[Manderley]

"Foodapotamus"???

Liked your story, but i have to say i LOVE your name :)

[Rodzilla]

The spoon shovel is one of my largest pet peeves. I would have called him out on not sharing the rice - that's ridiculous.

[cookmyassoff]

u know, i learned from an episode of "law & order" that the "posture" ur date had is possible convict eating positioning. sitting with the spoon in "attack" position, arms around ur plate as if it were a prison tray, shovelin in the food because they only give u a certain amount of time to eat, etc. just sayin....

[lcool]

From a first hand witness and to blame,me.

In 1983 the US Navy saw fit to post my cousin Tomas in our town.He being single,unattatched etc and me the meddler,DH and I decided to more than include him socially.Typical me that includes fixing him up.Scowl from DH.

Soooo date #1 OK,enough,#2 a day trip to Annapolis,the four of us are at old city/harbor market snacking.Mostly at the Campbell family's oyster stand eating just shucked oysters.Conversation turns to quality,freshness,safety etc all in generalities.A few short paragraphs in;Her,if they are so fresh and still alive,how do you kill them?Him,one bite and they die on the way down.All after she had eaten her first raw clams EVER and was on oyster #3 or 4 It was the second and LAST DATE.And temporarily a real strain on friendship.

I get a chuckle every time I think about live clams and oysters.Did not cure me though,I still meddle.

[hill food]

lcool: nice setting (cool town), wistful waste of shellfish

[EarlyBird]

Well, nothing too horrible, but on my second date with a woman, we each had a salad to start. It was a great salad, and I left nothing on the plate. Nothing.

The young waiter came and asked how everything was as he cleared the plates, and I said, jokingly, "Oh, I hated it." Of course, I loved the salad, as evidenced by my plate which you could basically use as a mirror, so clean it was.

The next thing you know the manager is at my side asking what was wrong, and I had to tell him over and over that I loved the salad, and was just joking. He insisted that he makes things right, almost making a fuss in the dining room. I told him repeatedly I was very happy with the salad and everything else, but he insisted. It was was weird and ridiculous. He actually comp'd the whole meal.

[DCLindsey]

Oh god, my dad does that all the time! And when he tastes the wine, he makes a face. At some point it may become funny, but the rest of us have to reassure the poor 20 something waitress that yes, everything is fine! :)

[EarlyBird]

I have learned to refrain from that worn out joke, after that particular fiasco!

[Rick]

My dad does similar things when we are out in public, let me know if stuff like that ever becomes funny! We laugh about the fact that he does that stuff, but when he's actually doing it, it's never funny because the person he is doing it too invariably does NOT get his sarcasm!

[pdxgastro]

I had an ex who would reply to "how was everything?" with "I have only 1 complaint: my food is gone".

[mwhitmore]

Reminds me of my uncle, who's favorite compliment after cleaning his plate: "Wasn't fit to eat!.'

[BobB]

OK, so from a guy's perspective, I can't recall any really weird food experiences but back in my dating days I definitely would decline to ask a woman out for a second date if she had no interest in good food.

I almost always dated women a bit older than myself, but when I was about 25 I met a younger (20ish) woman who seemed nice, and was cute and interested in me, so I took her to my favorite French bistro. Bad idea. She was flummoxed by the menu, and finally ordered steak au poivre (probably because she recognized the word steak), and when it came asked the waiter for ketchup. That's when I knew it was hopeless and went back to dating older women.

I'm not saying she was a bad person but I was (as ever) looking for someone I could relate to as an equal, someone who could teach ME something. I've never been into playing tutor to sweet young things.

[inaplasticcup]

Good on you for knowing, even in your mid 20s, how important it was for you to be with someone who appreciated food in the way that you did.

I wasn't so wise in selecting my ex, and those differences (among others) took their toll over time.

[emilyjh75]

Same here. I married a junk food junkie, and it was definitely a sticking point that he refused to eat almost anything I cooked, and when he did eat it, had to drown it in some sort of ghastly condiment. Also, that he refused to eat any real or whole foods, so the bathroom and the breath were particularly nasty problems. We are now divorced.

[arashall]

Over the years we've had many laughs over our friend who went to a fancy-schmancy place for prom, and ordered steak tartare because it was pricy, and involved the word "steak". Imagine the horror of his unsophisticated 17 year-old self when it arrived at the table! RIP, Tony H.

[NellyNel]

bob, I know what you mean.

I am about to be divorced for the second time.
First husband, although picky about food, really enjoyed the ritual of cooking and eating, and preparing the meal was a joint venture, and something to be celebrated.
Good music, wine...laughter....Eating together was joyous, and we oohed and ahhed throughout each meal.
We decided to part happily after 9 nine years, and I moved on to hubby number 2.

Rude awakening! I found that eating to him was simply a necessity.

Cooking is the one thing that i am really passionate about and good at, and to prepare an elaborate meal and get no response was a punch in the belly!
He never entered the kitchen to help, and cooking for him became nothing but a chore.
:(
I'm not sure how I missed all this before we were married!
I must have been smitten.

So!
If I do eventually get back into dating, my number one criteria - is a love of food! and cooking!
It is essential to me!

[wadejay26]

Wow, sounds like my situation with my 2nd wife(now divorced)
She ate to live, while I live to eat.

[BobB]

Hmm.. sounds like a match!
;-)

[pitagirl]

Bob I was going to suggest that!

[NellyNel]

Are you guys referring to me and wadejay?