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Weird/Bad Food Related Dates


A thread on dating etiquette had me thinking back to my dating days (which were not too long ago). I've had the fantastic, the okay and the atrociously horrible:} I'm going to list my top worst/strangest... I'm hoping for yours in return:}

1. My ex who early on in dating revealed that he smothered almost all of his food in ketchup, mustard and hummus. Yes, all together. At the same time.

2. The guy who went to a Japanese restaurant for the first time in his life. He was frightened of the miso soup and had the clear soup instead. He thought his chicken terriyaki was exotic.

3. The cheap guy. (An accountant by the way!) He kept telling me he was taking me to a great restaurant. He took me to a hole-in-the wall empanada place. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing bad about empanadas. But don't talk it up like it's a 5 star restaurant:}

4. The control freak. This guy kept picking the restaurants and would not let me have any input. Granted he picked some awesome places but needless to say this didn't last long.

This one isn't mine thankfully; I saw it on the Millionaire Matchmaker. This d****e took an adorable woman out for a meal cooked by a private chef. The chef prepared offal and other goodies that only Andrew Zimmern would appreciate. He was testing her to see if she would be "game". Thankfully this never happened to me!

  1. Good mashup, Nicole!! I guess my weirdest and most disappointing food date was in misinterpreting what a set-up date said about "being particular about his food," when he invited me to dinner. I thought that meant he had an educated palate, had some food/wine knowledge, that there was some discernment there. Oy assumptions.
    Imagine my chagrin when we ended up at Applebee's. His feelings about the place? That they were very very clean, and very very charming, what with all the sporty logo stuff interspersed with fake Tiffany lamps. And that the food was awfully good and had been frozen, so the chances of food poisoning, or lack of cleanliness when prepping, were just nil. In his opinion.
    I was most upset because I bought a really pretty new blouse for the date, in anticipation of the happening and delicious time we were bound to have. :) Next time (wait, I'm married; there won't be one) I'll save the clothes money and take myself out to an amazing consolation dinner instead.

    44 Replies
    1. re: mamachef

      mama, Can we say oh see dee???

      Well, I think the most bizarre food related date I went on was with this guy from Michigan who was a mechanic or something like that. In previous conversation, we both talked about how we loved a good steak, and he being new to the area must have asked around as to where to take a first date who likes steaks. He says someone suggested Fleming's, so he went with it, apparently not realizing what he was getting into.

      So we meet at Fleming's in Newport Beach (which is kind of a douche-y, white collar, new money or leveraged up the ass kinda scene), and he's waiting for me with a Captain Coke in hand. I order a glass of the house red, and we decide to split a porterhouse. I don't suggest anything else because I generally try to order modestly on dates regardless of the price point. He wants to order a side, so we get a caprese type deal.

      By this time, I think our waiter has pegged my date as a total fish out of water and has decided to mess with him all night, so he comes back with our steak, a hot, buttered plate for me, a cold, unbuttered plate for my date (even though he didn't ask for anything different), a smile for me, a smirk for my date.

      At this point, I'm feeling like I'm in the twilight zone, and my date is apparently so uncomfortably out of his element that he doesn't question the bitchy service he's getting. For a number of reasons, I am no longer invested in my date and so am not hampered from asking the waiter why the different treatment by a desire to protect my date's dignity. So I ask the waiter if there's a reason why we have two different plates, he looks at me with one of those knowing looks and says, "Oh, are they different?" And I say, "Why, yes. They are." He then looks at me and says "Do you think I should do something about that??" And I say "Why, yes, I DO." with what I think was an incredulous look on my face. So the waiter begrudgingly obliges, mumbles to someone on the other side of the counter (it's a partially open kitchen) to get him a new plate. He gets it, and sets it down rather ungently in front of my date.

      At this point, I'm gathering that the waiter put the Michigan accent, blue collar demeanor and the three Captain Cokes in succession together to mean that he's probably going to get a crappy tip anyway, so why not f*ck with the guy. (This kind of thing happens all the time in see and be seen places where people pay too much money to be treated like they're a**h***s.)

      We finish our meal, some strained conversation worked in, and by this point, I know I don't want to go on another date with this guy if for no other reason than that he just made a complete bad service doormat of himself. We get the check, he pays in part with a gift certificate, and almost as if with a sense of sticker shock, shows me the bill and asks me how much he should tip.

      Up to the moment he showed me the bill and asked how much he should tip, I think I might have suggested not so much, given the, shall we say, *uneven* service. But his having previously established that he's the *old school* sort of guy who believes in paying for dinner, I was at this point fairly unsympathetic, so I looked at him and said "Twenty percent." and nothing more.

      Looks like the waiter had him pegged right. :|

      1. re: inaplasticcup

        Perhaps your date didn't not want to put up a stink and embarrass you by making a scene by telling an uneducated dbag waiter to shove it? Your date seemed like a simple low maintenance guy, what's wrong with that? While you may not have had chemistry, why would you tell him to reward a crappy service with 20% even though he's "old school" and paying for dinner?

        1. re: chezwhitey

          1) There's nothing wrong with being a simple, low maintenance guy. I'm just making observations about the dynamics of the situation, some of them which contributed to my conclusions about our compatibility, some which I think contributed to what happened, and some of them mutually exclusive.

          2) Why do you think a grown man who offered to pay the tab would show his date the bill and ask how much to tip?

          1. re: inaplasticcup

            2) maybe he didn't know the proper etiquette with tipping when using a gift card

            1. re: chezwhitey

              Possible, but don't you think those are duckies you might want to get in a row before you go on a first date with someone?

              And why would anyone assume you'd tip any less or differently when paying with a gift card? Yet another reason in hindsight I think my conclusions as to our incompatibility were probably correct. :P

              1. re: inaplasticcup

                Was it the gift card that you can buy at costco, pay 75 for 100? That would trip me up because you pay 75 for 100 "real" dollars. The server in theory doesn't know if he purchased the card through costco or was a gift from someone else etc. The whole idea of groupon type discounts are relatively new, especially at "fine dining" establishments. he should have known better, but still many people don't which is why they have to explicitly say on the coup what you should tip, or the house adds auto gratuity on top of the original bill as a precaution.

                Either way, why 20%??? :) If someone was that obviously condescending towards my guest, I wouldn't reward them unless he figured your date was not only a prick, but a prick to you more specifically.

                1. re: chezwhitey

                  I don't know where he got the GC.

                  Why did I say 20%? The detail I left out of my OP was that my sense of the situation was that it was his passive aggressive way to

                  1) show how me how much he'd spent on dinner, and
                  2) perhaps even get me to ante up for gratuity, maybe?

                  It's one thing to ask me what I thought of service and whether the server was deserving of a good tip, or even to come out point blank and ask if I would chip in for the tip, which I would have, but to show me the check when you've offered to treat and ask "How much should I tip?" You're a 30-something year old man. Get it together. :)

                  I know there will be people who say I read too much into his actions. I don't think so.

                  1. re: inaplasticcup

                    He sounds hot. I'm going to say, "Do you still have his number?"

                    1. re: DeppityDawg

                      DeppityDawg: oh my gawd! That was hysterical!

                      1. re: DeppityDawg

                        I agree with this. I like millionaire gentlemen the best, but failing that, I'd take a simple gentleman who asks his snobby date how much to tip the rude, condescending waiter, after an expensive dinner in which he was passive aggressively mean-girl bullied for being different.

                        Sounds like a great guy.

                      2. re: inaplasticcup

                        "I know there will be people who say I read too much into his actions. I don't think so."

                        I don't think so. It is extremely important to pay attention to those details right away. If not you'll notice eventually anyway. If it's after you've moved in with the guy (or vice versa), then you'll have to move out. And moving sucks even more than a break up of that sort- you know the ones... ;)

                      3. re: chezwhitey

                        WAY, way long ago, bad service was rewarded with a nickel tip.

                        1. re: chezwhitey

                          maybe he couldn't do the math? maybe the drinks were separated from the food bill?

                    2. re: inaplasticcup

                      A mechanic "or something like that" should have known better than to ask a sincere question.

                      1. re: Robinez

                        In my mind, and in telling to others, my brother is an *IT something or other* because I don't have the best grasp on what he does and to call him by his title at work would give no better indication to anyone else what he does either.

                        As to the sincerity of the question, we can agree to disagree.

                    3. re: chezwhitey

                      Yeah I agree, You try to be on your best behavior during a first date, and some people see complaining about service as rude. (but they are not the best people.)

                    4. re: inaplasticcup

                      What is a hot buttered plate??

                      1. re: sealion

                        Literally a hot plate with melted butter, which is the default way some steak houses serve certain cuts of steak unless you request otherwise.

                        1. re: inaplasticcup

                          I didnt' know that either. I probably wouldn't have noticed the difference.

                      2. re: inaplasticcup

                        Your date really did not sound so bad. I got the feeling the guy was trying hard to make it a decent evening for yo and was trying very hard to impress. Unfortunately you got stuck with a p***k of a waiter. If the guy had been p***k right back would that have made a difference? Did he even notice about the plate? Sounds like you just weren't into the guy right from the start. Which is perfectly fine but that doesn't mean that one has to be mean about it. If anything the 20% comes off as passive aggressive move because he wasn't your kind of guy. So in the end you rewarded the waiting for being a p***k with your date's money.

                        1. re: Withnail42

                          I get where those who disagree with me are coming from, but where I seem to diverge with you is

                          1) the unquestioning belief in my date's earnestness,
                          2) the belief that he was under some undue influence to heed what I said, and
                          3) the unquestioning belief that he indeed took my advice.

                          I'm not sure that prick of a waiter did get 20%.

                          And in hindsight, since it defies logic for a server experienced as one usually has to be to get a gig at a place like Fleming's to purposely sabotage his own tip, I have to wonder what took place at the table while my date was waiting for me that I was not privy to.

                          At any rate, for me anyway, the whole earnest but clueless nice guy read doesn't add up for a number of reasons. In the end, if I were to take the earnest argument to its end, if the guy is really just out of his element and doesn't know what to tip in a place like that, then the earnest and honest answer from me is *20%*. If on the other hand, the guy doesn't know how much he should ding a prick waiter for being a prick and/or wants to ding the waiter but also wants to put the onus on me to decide how much, who's being passive aggressive?

                          This isn't a gender thing. If I, as a woman in my 30s, invite someone, anyone, out to dinner, you can bet that person is not having the bill pushed in front of their face. And if I get crappy service and decide to ding the waitperson, I am going to make the decision and own whatever fallout might come with it. That's not some bourgeois affectation. I come from a middle class background just like he did. But that's just not the way you treat your guest.

                          1. re: inaplasticcup

                            +1 Ina, I MIGHT ask what % would my guest tip the prick of a waiter, but would not show my guest the check.

                        2. re: inaplasticcup

                          Story makes no sense. Are you saying HE had a bad date? So he was new to the area and went to an unfamiliar restaurant. Got a jerk waiter, whose side you somehow took. Then you had him overtip. Oh he had a rum and coke? You come off as quite condescending while sipping the "house red."

                          1. re: Timmy McTimmerson

                            If I were trying to make some kind of classist remark rather than relay to you how the snooty waiter might have perceived my date, do you think I would have told you I ordered the house red?

                            I guess my post hit a little too close to home for some peeps. ;)

                            1. re: inaplasticcup

                              Your story is horrendous. I've taken many women to many different types of restaurants for a first date, and all have been polite, even if not interested. Your date took you to a pretty nice chain steakhouse, which was your preference. What he received for his effort was condescension, condemnation and public ridicule, not only through this thread, but also through your "knowing" conversations with the waiter. Very classy of you to indulge in a fancy steakhouse meal, have your date over tip for poor service and then come here and bash the experience.

                              I would be mortified to treat you to a meal anywhere, and I wouldn't.

                              1. re: MonMauler

                                Where did you get that I chose the venue? And the ridicule is public because I didn't name him in this thread?

                                Your right to think me ungenerous, uncharitable, horrendous, even, but I think I'm reading a lot of bitterness from people who might have voluntarily bitten off more than they can chew at some point in their past, didn't want to suck up their poor judgment like the big boys and girls they're supposed to be, and want to take their bitterness out on me.

                                I would have gone to a taco shop with the guy if that's what he'd offered, and then at least he might not have pulled the douche maneuver of putting the check in my face because he didn't check the prices on this place he had a gift cert for. :)

                                ETA: What I find horrendous is just how many people here think a person should be thanking their lucky stars because some self interested person on a date took them out for a fucking steak.

                                1. re: inaplasticcup

                                  no kidding, it's interesting that it is men responding like this to you. Certain men seem to believe they should be rewarded for anything.

                                  No one but Ina knows the actual happenings on the date, you weren't there to read the situation, the man, the waiter - anything.

                                  and i'm sure she is broken up to not have MonMauler panting at her door to take her on a date.

                                  1. re: mariacarmen

                                    I think dating bewilders a lot of guys, so they look for rules. One guy rule about dating is probably to take her to "a nice place". Unable to fathom what determines if a place is "nice", they often decide that nice=steak. They are then quite proud of themselves and place a lot of importance on the date and might even feel that the job is done. They might also feel that they have put some money into this and (in their mind) a lot of effort, so the female should be quite impressed. The more important parts about being interested/interesting, acting with openness & honesty, having good manners, good hygiene, and respect/kindness escape many men.

                                    Just some general life observations. Not saying any/all apply here, because it's just hard to say from the facts presented.

                                    1. re: sandylc

                                      i completely understand this. i'm referring to the men responding in a disparaging manner to inaplasticcup, berating her for whatever they've read into the situation.

                                      1. re: mariacarmen

                                        Sorry if it looked like I was explaining this to you in particular - just addressing this general part of the thread....

                                      2. re: sandylc

                                        I get what you're saying, and I agree that it's often the case. Thanks for your perspective, sandy.

                                        That said, there were other things about my date that lead me to think this more a passive aggressive maneuver than an earnest attempt to impress (and not that I think he needed to impress me, either). But if I were to detail those things here, I'm sure the perception would be split as to whether he was weasely or earnest.

                                        And I get why some of the men here feel sorry for the guy. My telling of the evening probably makes me seem to them a certain and fairly common archetypal woman with certain kinds of expectations and a certain sense of entitlement, neither of which is true nor necessarily supported by the facts of my story, but understandably easily assumed by some.

                              2. re: Timmy McTimmerson

                                i read the story, maybe never having read it before.

                                i feel bad for the guy. he was shafted twice.

                                1. re: alkapal

                                  Yeah, I have to say that I feel bad for him too, (and I'm a woman). It may be that inaplasticcup avoided giving the information necessary to letting us know why he merited the treatment he received.

                                  But as I read it, there seemed to be implicit criticism of him a mechanic. striving beyond his expected station. I mean, the choice of a steak house seemed to make sense if he and plastic were talking steak. The choice of a douchey steakhouse seems unfortunate for everyone involved, but especially him: this man was on the receiving end of disdain from the server and his date, and so yes, I am inclined to direct my sympathies there.

                                  Was he trying to show off when he held up the bill? Was he just awkward? I don't know. It's not the smoothest move, that's for sure, but I find that assuming the worst of a person's actions feels like yet another bit of disdain heaped at a remove. We cannot know his intentions. It seemed like he wanted to please someone who wasn't going to be pleased, and that kind of dating scenario tends to have me empathise with the underdog.

                                  All that said, I've had my cringey dates, too: People who made rude jokes to servers; people who could not read the situation and attempted to get physical when all signs pointed to 'no', and even people who were clearly out of their element. However, in the last case, had anyone tried to make my date feel bad or somehow wrong for being there? I probably would have taken the date's side. UNLESS there were things there that already had me disinclined to sympathise. But food and drink choices and anything that smacks of snobbery would not likely be such things.

                                  In effect, I don't know if this is a gender issue as much as a class one that is coming up here.

                                  ETA: As the story goes on, some less pleasant bits manifest, but it's hard to determine what came first. Is it a matter of a crumby guy getting what he deserves, or a person in an uncomfortable situation pushed to the limit by the rudeness of the server and the seeming indifference of his date?

                                  1. re: Lizard

                                    how was he a crummy guy? because he made one mistake and asked how much tip he should give?

                                    1. re: alkapal

                                      Please reread. I'm only suggesting that this might be Plastic's opinion, but that her account did not give us much to go on save for what you've just noted-- and what neither of us sees as just cause for the treatment.

                                    2. re: Lizard

                                      oh jesus christ.

                                      It's so very easy to sit in judgment on a date that YOU WEREN'T ON. none of us can see the gestures, the facial expressions, or hear the tones of voice that were displayed that evening.

                                      if anyone is being classist it's people who are somehow inferring that "mechanic" is a job one would look down on - "striving beyond his station" says a lot more about you than it does about the OP. and how do you know what she was "assuming" about the guy? She was there to read the signals, to decipher the body language and behavior. Again, YOU weren't.

                                      holier-than-thou is the worst form of snobbery.

                                      1. re: mariacarmen

                                        I'm not sitting in judgement of the date, but pointing out why there may be other opinions on it. As I mentioned before, it seems elements have been omitted, because the description as given leads to the reading I made. No, I do not think that a mechanic was reaching above his station, but plastic implied that it was not the place for him-- and seemed judgemental of his discomfort with the place.

                                        I'm also not 'holier than thou'; but yes, the description as given makes me more sympathetic to the date, even as I understand plastic may be withholding details.

                                        meanwhile, I'll thank you to calm down a bit.

                                        1. re: Lizard

                                          you go on in judgment for six paragraphs and i should calm down?

                                          you should probably learn not to read into situations that you weren't involved in.

                                          1. re: Lizard

                                            I will absolutely own that the mechanic description was included to illustrate the scenario and how his background (which, regardless of how pc we want to be about this) contrasts that of the typical white collar guy who frequents Fleming's.

                                            A careful reading of my original comment gives a clear indication that I don't think said white collar types necessarily superior.

                                            I'd like to add that a person being out of their element shouldn't automatically be assumed to be a really good guy just because he's from a certain demographic, though some of us, and I don't mean you, Lizard, seem to want to make that unwarranted assumption.

                                            1. re: inaplasticcup

                                              ...hold on, I'm grabbing popcorn...

                                              1. re: rabaja

                                                Hush, rabaja! You're summoning the mods!

                                                Everyone knows popcorn means it's time to start nuking comments. :P

                                                1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                  Yes, we do think this thread has just about run its course, so we're going to lock it now.

                                                  1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                    What cracks me up is that all of these fireworks were set off 15 months after your post.

                                  2. re: mamachef

                                    i think thats the first time ive ever heard that the food being previously frozen was a plus. yikes-o-rama!

                                  3. Being that I was married pretty much straight out of college, I didn't have enough food experience under my belt to identify bad or funny food related dates.

                                    I do remember my long-time high school boyfriend's family never met a buffet they didn't like. No one could get their money's worth out of a buffet like that family. Much time was spent debating which of the many fine "family steak house" buffets we would visit for weekend night out. These trips involved waits in lengthly lines, surrounded by starving masses.

                                    They were absolutely wonderful people and I was fortunate to have been welcomed into their family but holy cow, it ruined buffets for me forever. (probably not a bad thing)

                                    I had a guy take me to Friendly's for dinner as a first date and "suggested" that I order some deal where a sunday was included in the price of the meal. There wasn't a second date. (He had many odd traits, not just the restaurant choice)

                                    1. Interesting that it is all women replying thus far (including myself).

                                      Many, MANY years ago I went on a first date in DC. I'd lived there for about 18 months at the time and had heard good things about--but not eaten at--the Chinese restaurant Full Kee. So I suggested it to the guy, and should have known right off the bat that the whole thing would be a bad idea when he said, "Chinese is OK, I like Crab Rangoon." (I didn't even know what Crab Rangoon was at the time.)

                                      Fast forward to the restaurant, which had a very nice and interesting menu. I ordered baby octopus. I don't remember what he got, but for sure, it was not baby octopus. After I saw the expression on his face as he watched me stuffing whole baby octopi into my mouth (you can't cut a baby octopus with chopsticks!), I pretty much figured there wouldn't be a second date. Bingo!

                                      I think he would probably list this experience as one of HIS weirdest/worst food-related dates, too. Twenty years later, I hope he has ventured beyond Crab Rangoon.

                                      80 Replies
                                      1. re: travelmad478

                                        Is Crab Rangoon one of those cream cheese wonton type dealies?

                                        1. re: inaplasticcup

                                          Yep, not to be confused with Shrimp and Cheese wontons, a hometown favorite. Everyone knows that when you go to Flint's you order wontons no salad extra wonton please thank you.

                                          1. re: inaplasticcup

                                            Yes. Anything that claims to be Chinese, but includes cream cheese, is not something I'm going to eat.

                                            To be sure, the Chinese food I ate growing up in New Jersey certainly wasn't authentic Chinese in any way (I'm looking at you, shrimp with lobster sauce!) but it wasn't as preposterous as Crab Rangoon. I think this guy was from the Midwest.

                                            1. re: travelmad478

                                              OK, you have got a man's eye for the humorous. I hope my fragile male ego will not be totally deflated.

                                              Fourth or fifth date and she wants to go to the south of France for the huge gypsy festival in the Camargue. We leave Frankfurt in the Porsche and I drive all night. She sees Gypsys, I eat boullaibaise (sic). We go to a bistro, I have entrecote, she has a burger. In the morning she is livid that she cannot get eggs and bacon and is stuck with croissants, local honey, jams, and weird tasting coffee. Do you see a trend?

                                              Off to Arles and then Avignon. I have spring lamb and she had something pasta and complained about no green jar of cheese to put on top. At this point it is separate rooms and no conversation.

                                              Sunday on the way back to Frankfurt, I take a side trip through the foothills of the Alps. In a small town, the parking lot is loaded in front of the restaurant. Always a reason to stop. She doesn't want to. At this point I don't want to be around her either, but this is France and I want to eat. Original artwork, starched linen, sterling silver, not plate. This is going to be special. Little did I know.

                                              I speak no french. She is fluent. The waiter brought an amuse bouche and the menu.
                                              She refuses to translate. He goes through a pantomine of the specials. The fish was easy, but it was him hopping like a rabbit that cinched my decision. She just wanted the bread on the table and water. I got her Evian. Then she pulled a beautiful crystal bowl in front of her and told the waiter she didn't need a plate, that was sufficient. At this point, he has obviously figured out the dynamics between us, gives me a gallic shrug, and she ate her bread out of the ash tray for the rest of the meal. My rabbit with white truffles was awesome and the cheese course was wonderful. 6 hours of total silence all the way back home, priceless.

                                              1. re: INDIANRIVERFL

                                                LMAO. Please tell me you met her in France...

                                                1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                  U.S. Army officer with a masters degree.

                                                2. re: INDIANRIVERFL

                                                  WOW. How long did you know each other before you took this trip?

                                                  1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                    3 or 4 outings with and without mutual friends. Jazz dives in Sachsenhausen to dancing at the Canadian Pacific hotel. We wanted to go the next step, and we did. Away from each other.

                                                  2. re: INDIANRIVERFL

                                                    LMAO That is freaking brilliant!

                                                    1. re: INDIANRIVERFL

                                                      i can't imagine a person who less deserved to be eating and chauffered around in France. You were well shut of her!

                                                      1. re: INDIANRIVERFL

                                                        A graduate degree is no indicator of class or taste- as you well know. Wow. Sounds more like a trip to Heaven with the Antichrist. Did she have other food issues that you noticed (before the trip, of course)f?

                                                        1. re: EWSflash

                                                          Her first time to Europe. Other than that, she comported her self well at the Bad Homburg casino, at the time a members only (think James Bond) establishment. I was never overdressed in my tux.

                                                        2. re: INDIANRIVERFL

                                                          indianriverfl, you certainly know how to "give good date". where does a tampa bay lady find a guy like you???

                                                          1. re: Manderley

                                                            I live on a sailboat. You can find me on the Indian River or the Bahamas. Some times on your coast when I am making a delivery. I rely on the largess of friends and the library for access to the internet. Thus the gaps between questions and response.

                                                          2. re: INDIANRIVERFL

                                                            u can take me to france any time u want. i will eat until i cant walk. gee lets go to france and then try to see how much "american" food we can order. poor dude. now i want rabbit.

                                                          3. re: travelmad478

                                                            Here's the deal. I have frequently been regarded as a food snob. I just googled Crab Rangoon and discovered that it is crabmeat and cream cheese, with possibly garlic, encased in a wonton wrapper which is formed into a flower and deep-fried.

                                                            That sound pretty good, actually.....certainly not terrible?

                                                            1. re: sandylc

                                                              In my experience, the use of the word 'crab' in the description of this dish is usually just a nod to what *should* be in there, along with the cream cheese. Crab *wink* rangoon is how I read it.

                                                                1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                  Uh-oh! There are a half-dozen threads on "krab," and most devolved into two sides - those who love it, and those, who hate it. I would suspect that the MOD's shut down all, though they may still be available to read.

                                                                  Did not recognize "Crab Rangoon," or "Krab Rangoon," so I learned something here.


                                                                  1. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                    oh Hunt, I know/remember which side of that fence you fall on, so nota bene - whether crab or "krab", I highly doubt you would like it a la "Rangoon". in this application one would be hard-pressed to tell the difference.

                                                              1. re: sandylc

                                                                it can be but it's really just midwestern (I'm allowed to say that) party food than anything. one or two, fine, anymore and you feel kind of yucky. popular with the 12 YO set.

                                                                1. re: sandylc

                                                                  it isn't the dish itself - it's that it has been deemed unacceptable by the authenticity police.....

                                                                  1. re: thew

                                                                    Growing up in the Midwest you see this on every Chinese buffet. I can't tell you the number of people around here who don't realize that this is not going to be on the menu at an authentic Chinese restaurant outside of the Midwest. They are still awesome, though! I love me some crab rangoon.

                                                                    1. re: 2roadsdiverge

                                                                      doesn't bug me - i don't have an authenticity fetish

                                                                      1. re: 2roadsdiverge

                                                                        First time I ever had Crab Rangoon was in Boston,over 20 years ago.

                                                                        1. re: jacquelyncoffey

                                                                          yeah it's an east coast thing, i always thought! to be midwestern, you get rid of the fake crab, and just do a gooey deep fried cream cheese wonton.

                                                                          1. re: soupkitten

                                                                            To be fair, the crab rangoon in the midwest usually is just "crab-flavored" cream cheese on the inside. I don't think I've ever seen even pieces of krab.

                                                                            1. re: 2roadsdiverge

                                                                              sometimes not even 'flavored' I'd appreciate at least some surimi on occasion...

                                                                              although I don't have a grudge against a little grease, cheese and flour just don't put crab in the name

                                                                              1. re: hill food

                                                                                oh look, it's from trader vic's. . . so from san francisco.


                                                                                when i worked at a rather venerable chinese/chinese-american restaurant in "the midwest," my cantonese manager had to tell me what "crab/krab rangoon" and "cheese rangoon" were. the locals were familiar with "cream cheese wontons," and even the younger generation of chinese-american patrons would order and enjoy them with relish, much to the obvious, and sometimes hilarious, chagrin of their elders. . . haha :) folks from the east coast would order "rangoon" and "shrimp toast," so we needed to be prepared to know the same dish by two names.

                                                                                no chinese or chinese-american restaurant in my vicinity (in "the midwest"), that i know of, has "----- rangoon" on the menu. "cream cheese wontons" however, are ubiquitous, with no pretensions of 1) containing any real or fake crab 2) being from burma.

                                                                                the food-snob police may scoff, but i don't see the problem. they aren't "authentic"-- well, duh. that isn't the point. they are a gooey deep fried treat, like deep fried ice cream or fried cheese curds. i'd rather eat an unpretentious cream cheese wonton than something called "rangoon" filled with fake krab and mayo and god knows what else. . .

                                                                                1. re: soupkitten

                                                                                  HA! I never thought it ever had anything to do with SE Asia (even a dumb kid in MO can see cheese and dairy don't play a big role), and when I lived in Manhattan KS always stifled a chuckle when the owner yelled out the order of "CRAB RAGOON" yeah it's crap junk, 12 YO food, but if you're going to pretend can ya get that part right? (their sister restaurant did damn good VN/Thai food)

                                                                                  1. re: hill food

                                                                                    Now, I am not sure that cheese is unknown to the people of Myanmar, but it is highly doubtful that it is Philadelphia (brand) cream cheese. As there are many water buffalo, and other ungulate livestock, I would hazard that there might be cheeses available, though possibly not of a consistency to produce this dish, by the descriptions that I have read.


                                                                                  2. re: soupkitten

                                                                                    I love cream cheese wontons. As you note, they are no where near "authentic" but who cares? They're tasty!, and that's mainly what I ask of my food.

                                                                                  3. re: hill food

                                                                                    You know, it was a bit interesting, to me, when I first read of the dish. Now, I am rethinking that interest - think I'll take a pass!


                                                                                    1. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                      I'm a transplanted midwesterner living in the Pac NW and I can assure you that garlic, salt, cream cheese, spring onions, and large lumps of real crab are a lovely indulgence.

                                                                                      I also wooed my equally midwestern husband with these as a college student about 20 years ago using real crab...in Iowa.

                                                                                2. re: soupkitten

                                                                                  I always thought midwesterners were more honest than easterners. At least they acknowledge that there really is no crab in crab rangoon. Here in New England, restaurants still fake it, but that doesn't stop my husband from ordering it. Yummy is yummy, even if it's fake.

                                                                                  1. re: Isolda

                                                                                    My Chinese mother came here in 1939, and one of her specialties when we had guests was shrimp on toast--chopped seasoned shrimp spread on a little square of bread and the whole thing deep-fried. I think it might even have been genuinely S China cooking (she also made Guo-tieh and Jiao-tze as well as she could with the ingredients available in Minneapolis in 1945--eg Mu-Shu pork made with slivered cabbage and Aunt Jemima pancakes...).
                                                                                    As for Crab Rangoon, it's on all the Chinese buffet tables in West Virginia...

                                                                                    1. re: lihsiawang

                                                                                      to anyone interested in the evolution and quirks of chinese-american cuisine (and the strange fusions of chinese in other cultures) read jennifer 8. lo's "fortune cookie chronicles." very interesting and insightful -- a good journey.

                                                                                      1. re: lihsiawang

                                                                                        The shrimp toast was very common in better Chinese restaurants in the States in the 70's, as an appetizer. I think it is a fairly usual dim sum item as well.

                                                                                        1. re: buttertart

                                                                                          chop suey is not authentic either. and a lot of chinese americans refused to eat walnut shrimp wiht mayonnaise, even though it came out of hong kong... after a century of british influence what do they adopt? mayo. go figure huh?

                                                                                          I grew up in the san francisco area, but the first time i saw crab rangoon was in a chinese restaurant in seoul back in the mid 80's.

                                                                                          1. re: KaimukiMan

                                                                                            The first I heard of it was from my Iowa Quad Cities sister-in-law in the 90s. I thought it was a midwestern thing.

                                                                                            1. re: buttertart

                                                                                              Crab rangoon is an OLD invention of a restaurant in California, Trader Vic's I think. We had them, and then I learned to make them in mom's deep fryer, many, many (many) decades ago. Never had them with fake crab though, only the good stuff, and very, very little cream cheese.

                                                                                              1. re: L.Nightshade

                                                                                                That way they'd be scrummy. I'd forgotten about the Trader Vic's connection.

                                                                                                1. re: L.Nightshade

                                                                                                  Yup. They were a creation of a guy named DuBois Chen who'd cooked for the French Navy when Viet Nam still belonged to France. (He was Vietnamese.)

                                                                                                  1. re: lemons

                                                                                                    Wow, a little crab rangoon history! Cool.

                                                                                                    1. re: L.Nightshade

                                                                                                      Yeah, I recall Trader Vic, as I met him on one of the first United Airline 747-BC flights to Honolulu, where he was playing the piano in the FC bar, which was up a spiral staircase to the "top" of the ship. I knew of his restaurants, and his artistry with a paint brush, but managed to miss Crab Rangoon.

                                                                                                      We stay at the London Hilton Park Lane often, and there is a Trader Vic's on the lower level. Next trip, I will give it a go, just to learn more.


                                                                                                    2. re: lemons

                                                                                                      well how about that -- i always thought it was a trader vic's creation.

                                                                                                      1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                        When I said "Yup", I meant yes, they were a TV's creation DuBois was working for Trader Vic's here in STL when he put them on the menu. Sort of hard to think of STL being a big enough deal to get a restaurant of that sophistication (don't laugh; back then it really was sophisticated), but the city has changed.... Anyway, spouse knew him fairly well back then.

                                                                                                        1. re: lemons

                                                                                                          lemons - and now it's changing back again in a sometimes flawed but amazingly better way than when I left (as I know you know - I'm just posting that for the un-knowers)

                                                                                                          I'll stop being a Babbitt now.

                                                                                                          1. re: hill food

                                                                                                            quite true...but out of curiosity, when did you leave?

                                                                                                            1. re: lemons

                                                                                                              lemons: I was gone from 1990 - 2011 with only sporadic and brief friends'n'family visits.

                                                                                                2. re: KaimukiMan

                                                                                                  Actually, I believe the mayonnaise walnut shrimp dish originated in SF or LA, then got introduced back in Hong Kong sometime afterward. This dish wasn't seen on restaurant menus in LA much prior to the 90s, if at all.

                                                                                                  And it's actually a Japanese mayo that they use - loaded with extra sugar.

                                                                                                  California rolls are an American "innovation", that was also introduced to Japan at around the same time.

                                                                                              2. re: lihsiawang

                                                                                                That makes sense. I believe the shrimp toast thing is a southern Chinese / Teochew (is that your mother's background?) dish. It's still being eaten very regularly in Vietnam - known there as banh mi tom / banh mi tom chien, I believe. It was most likely brought there by the Teochew people.

                                                                                        2. re: 2roadsdiverge

                                                                                          authentic or not this is my regular 2nd helping on chinese buffets, which i frequent quite infrequently...

                                                                                  2. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                    ok now the story makes sense! I had always thought Crab Rangoon was along the lines of singapore chilli crab, which sounds reasonably adventurous to me!

                                                                                  3. re: travelmad478

                                                                                    LOL. I can completely understand your views on "crab ragoon", but in his defense, as you aknowledge... eating baby octopus on a first date is quite unusual:} Did you offer to share? :}

                                                                                    1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                      I would always offer to share but in this case I'm sure that the offer would have been spurned, in horror!

                                                                                      As for eating baby octopus on the first date, well, I am the kind of person who believes in putting her cards on the table right away. I didn't get the baby octopus for its shock value; I got it because I am the kind of person that will be intrigued by baby octopus on the menu and then order it. If you're going to get horrified by that, better you should know right away, because you're going to have to deal with it if you hang out with me!

                                                                                      Mr. travelmad478 can deal. In fact, early in our dating life we ate at a Vietnamese restaurant at Eden Center in Arlington, VA (a very, very Vietnamese strip mall) where he ordered a dish with oysters. When it came out the oysters were almost the size of billiard balls. But he gamely ate them, and I sat and watched HIM stuffing giant oysters into his mouth, thinking, this is a guy I can like long-term!

                                                                                    2. re: travelmad478

                                                                                      travelmad: oh god Full Kee? I love the place, but it's not the place for a first date, nuh unh...

                                                                                      for anyone not familiar with DC, it's about the most hardcore 'authentic' Chinese place left downtown, tripe, tendon, feet, you name it they cook it, in surroundings that are kindly described as grubby (and I say that with love for the dump, but on a first date?)

                                                                                      1. re: hill food

                                                                                        Well, like I said, I'd never been there. All I knew was that the food was supposed to be good! And it was! I enjoyed that plate of baby octopus ;-). Like I said, I'm sure the guy in question probably still shudders at the memory even more than I do. But this was 20 years ago, and who knows, maybe he's a hard-core foodie by now. If so I will take part of the credit for dragging him out of the Crab Rangoon cocoon.

                                                                                        As for the Crab Rangoon, it is about the equivalent of chop suey in my book, made even more objectionable by being based on an ingredient that a Chinese person would find literally nauseating (cream cheese). It was invented in this country and has nothing to do with Chinese food, and everything to do with dumbing down a delicious cuisine rather than experiencing what that cuisine really is. That's why I have problems with it. If it were served to me on an hors d'oeuvres tray at a low-end wedding...who knows, I might eat it. Although I would still want it to be made with actual crab.

                                                                                        1. re: travelmad478

                                                                                          real crab would be lost in it.

                                                                                      2. re: travelmad478

                                                                                        Are you still single? I want to meet a woman who would order baby octopus on a first date.

                                                                                          1. re: travelmad478

                                                                                            hey, im with u....if u arent the type of guy that can handle me ordering what the hell i want, then it probably not going to work. if ur idea of adventurous eating is ordering fajitas from applebees, then this really aint gonna work. take em to dim sum, order some chicken feet, duck beaks, har gow, all the good stuff, and if they start to trip out, then u know. better to know now. i know this is an old post, but i think its great what u did....

                                                                                            1. re: cookmyassoff

                                                                                              For our third date the now-fiance took me to an Asian grocery for pork buns and mochi. He was mortified to learn I did not eat pork and thus would not be partaking of that part, more horrified when I balked at red bean texture, and he later told me that he was genuinely concerned I would not be sufficiently adventurous in my eating. Luckily I got some shrimp wontons instead and later proved myself to him by surprising him with frog's legs for dinner about two weeks later.

                                                                                        1. re: travelmad478

                                                                                          I briefly dated a woman who was great in one way - but in terms of eating, let's just say we were incompatible. She was sick once and I offered to cook for her. I'm a very good cook and can make a wide range of dishes. What did she want? A CAN of chili (I forget the brand, not that it really matters) and Marie Callender's cornbread mix - the kind that you just add water to. Of course, I offered to make her chili and cornbread but she was very specific that she wanted her can and MC. So I mixed the "cornbread" and baked it and heated up the chili. She went on and on about what a great cook I was.

                                                                                          Almost as sad as when I answered an add for a cook for a disabled man while I was a college student. He interviewed me over the phone and I told her where I had cooked before and what my specialties were. I showed up on the first day with my apron and knife roll ready to cook. What did he want? Hot dogs. I was confused and said I thought he wanted a cook. "You wouldn't believe what the previous people did to my hot dogs," he explained.

                                                                                          Back to the gf (may she rest in peace). We went in one overnight trip - peered into a Chinese restaurant and she asked if they had crab Rangoon which I hadn't heard of. She asked as if she were asking for a rare delicacy. Because I had already seen a bit if her food taste I was suspicious and then she told me what they were. She asked if we could skip the restaurant and we ended up going to a large grocery store where she bought herself a box of crackers and 1/2 pound of fake krab. She sat in the hotel, head thrown back dropping fingerfuls in her mouth. She washed it all down with coke. I think I got some cheese and crackers - don't really remember but I know I was saying "never again" to myself.

                                                                                          1. re: fruti

                                                                                            The girlfriend had to have some good qualities!!! My mind is racing!

                                                                                            1. re: fruti

                                                                                              "Back to the gf (may she rest in peace)."

                                                                                              You didn't have to put her down, ya know?

                                                                                              1. re: linguafood

                                                                                                I can wish her well and not want to be with her because of her way with food among other things - not mutually exclusive. And she would have been the first to acknowledge that she had unusual food tastes. And she certainly thought all the "strange" produce I ate wasn't normal. As I said we were not food compatible.

                                                                                                1. re: fruti

                                                                                                  Well, it sounded like she was dead, the way you put it. It's not like you said "may she eat in peace".

                                                                                                  Thus my question.

                                                                                                  1. re: linguafood

                                                                                                    that was my impression, too. that she had died. it is weird to use about a living person.

                                                                                                    1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                      I disagree. I knew immediately she wasn't really dead - I use this expression all the time and so do a number of people I know.

                                                                                                      1. re: woodleyparkhound

                                                                                                        well, REST IN PEACE gives an impression that one is referring to the dearly (or not so dearly) departed. then i thought again that surely he would not be referring to a dead person in posting the things that he posted. but one can't be sure from the post itself; in any event, the phrase gives that impression. i think that impression -- which i'm going to presume most people would have (at least initially, esp. when not clearly jocular in context) -- is well-justified. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rest_in_...

                                                                                                        so you and your friends use the term for living persons. ok. that's how you and your friends roll. c'est la vie (or la mort).

                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                          I can't imagine ever using RIP for a person that's alive.... kinda seems like tempting fate, you know? I know I'd be pretty insulted if someone used that in referring to me, I'd feel like they maybe wished I was dead. But, to each his/her own, I suppose.

                                                                                                          1. re: kubasd23

                                                                                                            It is only ever used behind someone's back -- to indicate a metaphorical death.

                                                                                                            1. re: woodleyparkhound

                                                                                                              Ah, so my initial impression would be at least somewhat on the mark. That the people who said it were considering the other person dead for all intents and person.....

                                                                                                              1. re: kubasd23

                                                                                                                Right... that's how I took it anyway.

                                                                                                                1. re: woodleyparkhound

                                                                                                                  Just to clear it up. I found out that she has passed away several years ago. She really is dead. I've never used RIP about someone who is still living but I suppose someone could.

                                                                                                                    1. re: fruti

                                                                                                                      Gosh, I hope it wasn't the krab ...

                                                                                                                      I believe the term for someone still living is "bless his/her heart" ;)

                                                                                                                      1. re: foiegras

                                                                                                                        other choices are; yet to join the "Choir Eternal" or "Church Triumphant" after leaving this bitter and myalgic vale of tears (been reading Dickens too much of late)

                                                                                                2. re: fruti

                                                                                                  what a great cook i was......omg i rolling over here

                                                                                              2. OK, so from a guy's perspective, I can't recall any really weird food experiences but back in my dating days I definitely would decline to ask a woman out for a second date if she had no interest in good food.

                                                                                                I almost always dated women a bit older than myself, but when I was about 25 I met a younger (20ish) woman who seemed nice, and was cute and interested in me, so I took her to my favorite French bistro. Bad idea. She was flummoxed by the menu, and finally ordered steak au poivre (probably because she recognized the word steak), and when it came asked the waiter for ketchup. That's when I knew it was hopeless and went back to dating older women.

                                                                                                I'm not saying she was a bad person but I was (as ever) looking for someone I could relate to as an equal, someone who could teach ME something. I've never been into playing tutor to sweet young things.

                                                                                                19 Replies
                                                                                                1. re: BobB

                                                                                                  Good on you for knowing, even in your mid 20s, how important it was for you to be with someone who appreciated food in the way that you did.

                                                                                                  I wasn't so wise in selecting my ex, and those differences (among others) took their toll over time.

                                                                                                  1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                    Same here. I married a junk food junkie, and it was definitely a sticking point that he refused to eat almost anything I cooked, and when he did eat it, had to drown it in some sort of ghastly condiment. Also, that he refused to eat any real or whole foods, so the bathroom and the breath were particularly nasty problems. We are now divorced.

                                                                                                  2. re: BobB

                                                                                                    Over the years we've had many laughs over our friend who went to a fancy-schmancy place for prom, and ordered steak tartare because it was pricy, and involved the word "steak". Imagine the horror of his unsophisticated 17 year-old self when it arrived at the table! RIP, Tony H.

                                                                                                    1. re: BobB

                                                                                                      bob, I know what you mean.

                                                                                                      I am about to be divorced for the second time.
                                                                                                      First husband, although picky about food, really enjoyed the ritual of cooking and eating, and preparing the meal was a joint venture, and something to be celebrated.
                                                                                                      Good music, wine...laughter....Eating together was joyous, and we oohed and ahhed throughout each meal.
                                                                                                      We decided to part happily after 9 nine years, and I moved on to hubby number 2.

                                                                                                      Rude awakening! I found that eating to him was simply a necessity.

                                                                                                      Cooking is the one thing that i am really passionate about and good at, and to prepare an elaborate meal and get no response was a punch in the belly!
                                                                                                      He never entered the kitchen to help, and cooking for him became nothing but a chore.
                                                                                                      I'm not sure how I missed all this before we were married!
                                                                                                      I must have been smitten.

                                                                                                      If I do eventually get back into dating, my number one criteria - is a love of food! and cooking!
                                                                                                      It is essential to me!

                                                                                                      1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                        Wow, sounds like my situation with my 2nd wife(now divorced)
                                                                                                        She ate to live, while I live to eat.

                                                                                                        1. re: wadejay26

                                                                                                          Hmm.. sounds like a match!

                                                                                                          1. re: BobB

                                                                                                            Bob I was going to suggest that!

                                                                                                            1. re: pitagirl

                                                                                                              Are you guys referring to me and wadejay?

                                                                                                              1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                Yeah, but not seriously. You're going to need some time to recover first.

                                                                                                                1. re: BobB


                                                                                                                  I know..
                                                                                                                  Eventually, though I do look forward to cooking a lovely meal for someone who will enjoy it!

                                                                                                                  I did peek at wadejays profile and he's in Alabama...so it would have been a bit of a commute anyway!
                                                                                                                  (NY here)

                                                                                                                    1. re: GraydonCarter


                                                                                                                      Very Funny!

                                                                                                                      NJ Housewife I am NOT!


                                                                                                                      However, I do actually live in NJ!

                                                                                                        2. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                          always, ALWAYS, offer to have a date at one of ur favorite restaurants, or cook one of ur favorite meals, as one of ur early dates. if they are grossed out/mortified/completely uninterested or say something like "can we just mcdonalds instead?" they u know to RUN!!!

                                                                                                          1. re: cookmyassoff


                                                                                                            Haven't had any dating oppertunites as of yet. (I am not ready for online dating) and I dont know any single men....BUT...when the time comes, I swear - food is going to be a huge factor this time.

                                                                                                            I am just beginning to love cooking again..I cook for friends and co-workers, and the joy is coming back...

                                                                                                            Wow - to have a partner that shared my joy - wow.
                                                                                                            I am excited at the mere prospect!

                                                                                                            1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                              i mean, u have to eat 3 times a day, every day. so food is going to be a big part of ur lives together, u know?

                                                                                                        3. re: BobB

                                                                                                          I also seek women who are interested in or at least open to quality food. I made the mistake of taking the archetypal party girl to one of my favorite spots. The menu is pretty inventive, but she wasn't interested in the food in the least. Her only question after great descriptions was, "is it spicy" ...he did mention jalapenos.

                                                                                                          The staff and I have some level of rapport so I was pretty embarrassed when she thought that discussing selling her extra prescription pain killers was appropriate dinner conversation not only for us, but doing it loudly enough for everyone around to hear.

                                                                                                          if there had been a next time, I' probably would have chose somewhere with a drive-through.

                                                                                                          1. re: Rodzilla

                                                                                                            whoa back in the day I may have discreetly asked her about availability on her next ladies room visit (the pills not her) and she WASN'T a keeper?

                                                                                                            1. re: hill food

                                                                                                              Hill food you just made me cackle ;)

                                                                                                          2. re: BobB

                                                                                                            see, this is why its good to go to restaurants for first/early dates.....what and how people eat can speak volumes about them. ketchup on ur steak au poivre. nice. the "probably because she recognized the word steak" part is awesome....didnt even know they carried ketchup in french restaurants. o, maybe for the pommes frites...

                                                                                                          3. Well, nothing too horrible, but on my second date with a woman, we each had a salad to start. It was a great salad, and I left nothing on the plate. Nothing.

                                                                                                            The young waiter came and asked how everything was as he cleared the plates, and I said, jokingly, "Oh, I hated it." Of course, I loved the salad, as evidenced by my plate which you could basically use as a mirror, so clean it was.

                                                                                                            The next thing you know the manager is at my side asking what was wrong, and I had to tell him over and over that I loved the salad, and was just joking. He insisted that he makes things right, almost making a fuss in the dining room. I told him repeatedly I was very happy with the salad and everything else, but he insisted. It was was weird and ridiculous. He actually comp'd the whole meal.

                                                                                                            5 Replies
                                                                                                            1. re: EarlyBird

                                                                                                              Oh god, my dad does that all the time! And when he tastes the wine, he makes a face. At some point it may become funny, but the rest of us have to reassure the poor 20 something waitress that yes, everything is fine! :)

                                                                                                              1. re: DCLindsey

                                                                                                                I have learned to refrain from that worn out joke, after that particular fiasco!

                                                                                                                1. re: DCLindsey

                                                                                                                  My dad does similar things when we are out in public, let me know if stuff like that ever becomes funny! We laugh about the fact that he does that stuff, but when he's actually doing it, it's never funny because the person he is doing it too invariably does NOT get his sarcasm!

                                                                                                                  1. re: DCLindsey

                                                                                                                    I had an ex who would reply to "how was everything?" with "I have only 1 complaint: my food is gone".

                                                                                                                  2. re: EarlyBird

                                                                                                                    Reminds me of my uncle, who's favorite compliment after cleaning his plate: "Wasn't fit to eat!.'

                                                                                                                  3. From a first hand witness and to blame,me.

                                                                                                                    In 1983 the US Navy saw fit to post my cousin Tomas in our town.He being single,unattatched etc and me the meddler,DH and I decided to more than include him socially.Typical me that includes fixing him up.Scowl from DH.

                                                                                                                    Soooo date #1 OK,enough,#2 a day trip to Annapolis,the four of us are at old city/harbor market snacking.Mostly at the Campbell family's oyster stand eating just shucked oysters.Conversation turns to quality,freshness,safety etc all in generalities.A few short paragraphs in;Her,if they are so fresh and still alive,how do you kill them?Him,one bite and they die on the way down.All after she had eaten her first raw clams EVER and was on oyster #3 or 4 It was the second and LAST DATE.And temporarily a real strain on friendship.

                                                                                                                    I get a chuckle every time I think about live clams and oysters.Did not cure me though,I still meddle.

                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                    1. re: lcool

                                                                                                                      lcool: nice setting (cool town), wistful waste of shellfish

                                                                                                                    2. A couple of years ago I was asked out on a date by a friend of a friend. He said he’d love to take me out to dinner blah blah blah. So date night comes, he shows up at my house, and asks me where I’d like to go. I expect if a guy invites me to dinner that he has at least considered a couple possible restaurants to go to. He honestly didn’t even have a suggestion. Oy!

                                                                                                                      Whatever, the date must go on, so I pick a favorite Thai place of mine down the street.
                                                                                                                      First things first, the waiter comes and asks what we’d like to drink. I’d love a beer, but before I open my mouth he blurts out “we’ll both have water!” Whelp, looks like I’m having water…

                                                                                                                      Deep breath, let’s look at the menu. I enjoy trying different dishes and suggest ordering two entrees to share but he states that he really loves some dish and would rather not split it. So he’s not a sharer, not terrible, but probably not going to make it with me as I’m the one who wants always wants to try a bite.

                                                                                                                      When the dishes come he takes the ENTIRE large bowl of rice and proceeds dump its contents onto his dish. He then stirs everything up totally ignoring the extra plates they brought. I guess the idea that you could scoop rice and some of your entrée onto a separate plate never occurred to him. Not only did this make a terrible mess all over the table but it looked like a pile of glop and there’s no rice left for me!

                                                                                                                      He then proceeds to pick up his spoon like it’s a shovel and eat with terrible table manners: talking with his mouth full, taking drinks from his water while still holding his spoon in the attack position, arms on the table like he’s protecting his plate, napkin not in his lap, etc. I was so embarrassed.

                                                                                                                      Finally, the bill comes and prince charming suggests we SPLIT THE BILL- he asked if he could “take me out to dinner” and wants to split the bill?! If I was going to be paying for my dinner I would have ordered that freaking beer (and lord knows I need one at this point.) When we get up to leave he asks what we should do next (because he obviously hadn’t planned anything) and I said I had to wash my hair and had him take me home. As soon as I got home I called my sister and met up with the girls for a glass of wine and a hilarious conversation about dates gone wrong.

                                                                                                                      12 Replies
                                                                                                                      1. re: Foodapotamus

                                                                                                                        Oops! Sounds like a bad date.

                                                                                                                        Now, back when I was dating, if the young lady had looked me in the eyes, and asked about sharing entrees, it would have been almost as compelling as asking if I would share my "precious bodily fluids" with here. Guess that I just did not date the right people?


                                                                                                                        1. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                          Opinions, please...

                                                                                                                          When my husband and I were dating, it was clear that he had not learned table manners (a parental crime, IMO). He was eager to learn and did well. Move forward 25+ years, and he seems to be regressing; holding his fork like a weapon and waving it around, speaking with his mouth full, etc. He is offended when I ask him to use manners.

                                                                                                                          Is there hope?

                                                                                                                          1. re: sandylc

                                                                                                                            Has he given you any indication as to why he's regressing, sandy? Sometimes I think I see this kind of, for lack of a better word, *defiance*, from my dad to my mom. In their situation, it almost seems like an assertion of autonomy or independence in the home environment where my mom takes the reigns on most issues.

                                                                                                                            1. re: sandylc


                                                                                                                              I think so. He expressed a desire earlier in the marriage. So, what's changed? Is it the crowd that he runs with? Is it the restaurants, that he frequents?

                                                                                                                              This is off the top of my pointed head, but in private conversation, you might mention how things were, and ask what he thinks has changed. On some aspects of my behavior, my wife has done that, and if I reflect a bit, I can usually tell her some of the causes, or at least the stimuli, that has changed me. It also points out what I can do better, so I think deeply about that.

                                                                                                                              Good luck,


                                                                                                                              1. re: sandylc

                                                                                                                                Maybe he just doesn't give a shit anymore?

                                                                                                                              2. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                                ahahahaha thats awesome. thats one of the benefits of a lot of asian/indian type places....sharing!

                                                                                                                              3. re: Foodapotamus

                                                                                                                                On the manners tip, (or quirks, really) I had a friend who went on a set up date w/ a fella who took her to the Sizzler salad bar. He LOADED a plate with his self-crafted pyramid du vegetables, covered it in dressing, and sat down at the table, knife and fork in hand, where he proceeded to begin mincing his salad items; literally shredding them to a mush. While he did so, he regaled her with a happy little story about how the last girl he took out told him that that particular habit was a dealbreaker for her, and he didn't see her again.
                                                                                                                                When the salad could be mounded in a teaspoon and basically eaten without chewing, he fell to. And that was THEIR last date, too.

                                                                                                                                1. re: Foodapotamus

                                                                                                                                  I think you might have dated my brother. He has Asperger's so doesn't read social cues and is a CPA/CFP, so is unbelievably cheap (ergo, no beer, splitting the bill). He did manage to get married eventually, you may be pleased to know. Or not. ;+)

                                                                                                                                  1. re: Foodapotamus

                                                                                                                                    ha sounds like the same guy I once dated, Ruby Tuesdays was his choice (err ok), so we go and order a burger each, he asks for ketchup which comes in a metal bowl, scooped all of it on his fries, then says oh did you want some? Ate with his mouth open throughout too.

                                                                                                                                    1. re: Foodapotamus


                                                                                                                                      Liked your story, but i have to say i LOVE your name :)

                                                                                                                                      1. re: Foodapotamus

                                                                                                                                        The spoon shovel is one of my largest pet peeves. I would have called him out on not sharing the rice - that's ridiculous.

                                                                                                                                        1. re: Foodapotamus

                                                                                                                                          u know, i learned from an episode of "law & order" that the "posture" ur date had is possible convict eating positioning. sitting with the spoon in "attack" position, arms around ur plate as if it were a prison tray, shovelin in the food because they only give u a certain amount of time to eat, etc. just sayin....

                                                                                                                                        2. i had a date with a guy who ordered his sushi with no kimosabi....i was looking for the lone ranger. same guy, same date....check comes, and he says, "oh, i was only a dollar off from what i thought it would be."

                                                                                                                                          7 Replies
                                                                                                                                          1. re: eLizard

                                                                                                                                            Thanks for the afternoon cackle, Lizard. That's awesome.

                                                                                                                                            1. re: eLizard

                                                                                                                                              Literally burst out laughing when I read "kimosabi"--thanks!

                                                                                                                                              1. re: eLizard

                                                                                                                                                It took me a minute to figure that one out!

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: eLizard

                                                                                                                                                    The check thing sounds a little like my brother. He always loved numbers and would calculate that tip percentage for fun when we were kids.

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: eLizard

                                                                                                                                                      I am LOL too ... you win the prize!!

                                                                                                                                                      I don't have any great stories, but did date a couple cheapskates. One took me to a 'Chinese' restaurant, and I remember the pained look on his face when I ordered an entree a dollar or two more than his AND a Dr Pepper. (He was right--I do like to throw money around.)

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: foiegras

                                                                                                                                                        well, ur user name is foiegras so one has to assume u are used to eating good stuff. "pained look on his face when i ordered an entree a dollar or two more and a dr pepper"....how dare u want a beverage! just run....

                                                                                                                                                    2. OK, I'll play along.

                                                                                                                                                      Still dating, I took my now wife to a local yacht club. As a member of another yacht club, I was invited in. We all sat, and ordered drinks. As fate would have it, my wife (then my date), spilled hers, and then grabbed mine, pouring it on the floor. When I asked what she was doing, she said that she feared that I would pour my drink on her, after she spilled hers.

                                                                                                                                                      OK, whatever, and at some point, my parents paid "double" for that date.


                                                                                                                                                      4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                                                        I'm confused. She was worried that you would deliberately pour your wine on her? What, as punishment for spilling hers? Or was she saying that it is so easy to spill the wine she didn't want to take any chances. I imagine you eating on a boat in a heaving sea, with the wine precariously sliding all over the table...

                                                                                                                                                        1. re: 2roadsdiverge

                                                                                                                                                          Yeah, I'm with 2roads, this sounds stupid. Unless I'm not understanding it correctly.

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: thegforceny

                                                                                                                                                            I thought it horribly silly. After decades, I still bring it up for a laugh, but only at ~ 5 year intervals. No since in throwing away all that time, for something that happened in the mid-60's, at least not in my book. Silly it was, and an even bigger surprise, than her spilling her wine, with some landing on me. Who knew?


                                                                                                                                                          2. re: 2roadsdiverge

                                                                                                                                                            All that I have to go on is what happened, and what she said at the time, but yes, I believe that she assumed that because her wine was spilled, and some onto me, that I would pour my wine onto her. Not one chance in heck, but then we had only been dating for a few months, and she did not know me THAT well. After almost 41 years of marriage, I think that she knows me well enough, by now, to know that I value good wine too much to spill ANY of it!!!!!

                                                                                                                                                            That incident was at Southern Yacht Club, and then, it was built on fairly solid ground - no pitching and rolling there.


                                                                                                                                                        2. Went on a date last night and the poor boy went green when his grouse arrived with feathered ankle and clawed foot still attached, and a finger bowl making it clear he was expected to shake its claw and rip the meat off with his teeth. I gave up my delicious beef fillet to take over with the bird. Luckily he's very good-looking and we've been together 3 years so he might still get a 500th date!

                                                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                          1. re: gembellina

                                                                                                                                                            I must say, the food/dating experience I look back on most fondly was at a real Chinese restaurant, where I ordered the hot pot, which arrived complete with tripe. I am not really a tripe girl (though I've eaten it happily raw and very finely sliced--a whole chunk just gets me). He traded for his more normal dish, and I've been forever grateful. (A feathered ankle would get me too!)

                                                                                                                                                          2. Internet dating - he propsoses we meet and wants me to choose the place (these guys never seem to want to make a suggestion, but that's another thread entirely). He's mentioned that he's not a big drinker, so instead of the usual 'let's meet at x pub for a pint', I suggest my favourite pattisserie for tea and cake. That's right buster, if you ask a girl out and then leave her to do all the planning, you end up having tea and cake on wrought iron chairs.

                                                                                                                                                            Anyay, we meet at the appointed time. Before we've even entered the place, he's managed to tell me that he's leaving his job and they are quite happy to have him go, to the point where they won't be replacing him. Erm, ok.

                                                                                                                                                            Go in, order at the counter, take a seat.

                                                                                                                                                            Over the course of the date I found out the following: he's been out of a 3-year relationship for 4 weeks (you read that right - 4 weeks. And he'd been on the internet for 2 of them). He's broke, because he's really bad with money. He's struggling to find a place to live, because he's broke, owes his ex money, because she paid the rent, because he's really bad with money. When he said he 'wasn't a big drinker', he was alluding to the fact that he's a black-out drunk and he'd gotten too wasted to get home 4 times in the last 3 weeks. At this point I was looking around for my friends, thinking that they must be hiding somewhere with a camera.

                                                                                                                                                            How does any of this relate to food? Well, in a desperate attempt to turn things back to a neutral subject, I asked him how his coffee was, as I'm aware that London coffee can be a bit...meh. He pulls a face and says "it's not bad, it's just that I prefer instant. I don't understand why people pay for coffee when you can get it free from the machines they have in offices." Then he attacked my choice of a herbal blend tea, stating that it "isn't tea at all, why does anyone drink that?". So, moving swiftly along, I try to ask about food. "Oh", he says, "I'm very particular about food". So I enquire more, thinking that this homeless alcoholic that wants a new girlfriend to pay for his next flat is about to stun me with his rules for the best lobster bisque. "Yes - ketchup has to be Heinz. I won't eat any other type."

                                                                                                                                                            At this point, I excuse myself to the ladies with my bag and coat. Go inside, pay the bill and return with my coat on and my bag over my shoulder. I told him it was lovely to meet him, but that I had an early start and should be heading home. It was 7:45pm. The date lasted 45 minutes. My friends refer to him as 'Ketchup Guy'.

                                                                                                                                                            14 Replies
                                                                                                                                                            1. re: ultimatepotato

                                                                                                                                                              I think the phrase "very particular about food" is actually something that should set off alarm bells, considering. :)

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: ultimatepotato

                                                                                                                                                                well, that's one for the ages! LOL.
                                                                                                                                                                I don't have a lot of food-related dating stories I guess... I did date a guy whose favorite restaurant seemed to be taco bell.

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: ultimatepotato

                                                                                                                                                                  WOW, ultimatepotato. Wow.

                                                                                                                                                                  Great story though - very funny!

                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: ultimatepotato

                                                                                                                                                                    Your tale is ??? ,makes me happy to be old and after 40 years even happier to be married.

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: ultimatepotato

                                                                                                                                                                        just a note - often when a guy says he doesn't have a place in mind he means "i'd just like to be on a date with you, so anyplace you enjoy and are comfortable" and not "i'm such a loser i cannot plan a date without your help"

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: thew

                                                                                                                                                                          I appreciate that - I don't think guys are losers because they want me to be comfortable, I just found it a bit odd that in my run of online dating, most of the guys I met face to face took a very passive role in terms of organising the first date beyond the initial asking. When I ask a guy out, it's usually along the lines of "hey, want to grab a coffee/beer/movie some time?", so it's nothing too dramatic like "I have a spare ticket to the Zombie Apocolypse, want in?". For the online stuff, it wasn't even that level of detail, they would just say "want to meet up?" and then it was up to me to figure out the schedule, the location...the escape routes.

                                                                                                                                                                          I don't know - I started writing that thinking I could explain myself a bit better, but it turned into a mess. I figure that they're trying not to appear controlling and domineering, but after a while it just felt too passive. And then I'd feel like a pill, because it wasn't the fault of the individual - my frustration was the result of collective experiences.

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: ultimatepotato

                                                                                                                                                                            Do not feel too bad. Many of my "great ideas" end up that way too - seemed so much more relevant and astute, when I started, but I kept digging, and digging... [Grin]

                                                                                                                                                                            Very obviously, and from comments above, when I was last "dating," things were quite different. Still, some of the same issues prevailed, though in different forms. Still, there were the "let's grab lunch together," to "do you want to come with me to Elsie's happy hour," to "I've always wanted to dine at _____, and I would love for you to be my date."

                                                                                                                                                                            Some of the options have changed, along with the modes of communication, but in the end, there are probably ("probably," as I really do not know) many similarities. Still, what do I know?


                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: ultimatepotato

                                                                                                                                                                          and you DIDN'T immediately invite him to move in? someone's sorta cautious...

                                                                                                                                                                          and BTW ketchup DOES have to be Heinz (if not homemade or a Filipino Banana type)

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: hill food

                                                                                                                                                                            Oh no, I totally called him the next day - he's still crashing on my futon. We have the odd disagreement about condiments, but as long as I pay the bills on time we seem to jog along just fine =P

                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: ultimatepotato

                                                                                                                                                                                ok im laughing out loud at "homeless alcoholic that wants his new girlfriend to pay for his next flat, etc" and thats before ive even reached the elitist ketchup attitude part yet. thanks for the laugh.

                                                                                                                                                                              2. 1. When I ordered a cocktail, the guy asked "Do you REALLY need that? I'd like to get to know you WITHOUT alcohol if you don't mind". I didn't need it before, but I certainly did after that comment.

                                                                                                                                                                                2. Being taken to the Cheesecake Factory and my date looking at the menu, sighing with contentment, and murmuring "I love this place". When his meal arrived he couldn't stop praising it. He used the phrase "to die for" which is bad enough, but about a chicken pasta dish from the Cheesecake Factory? Really?

                                                                                                                                                                                3. The Cheap Guy. He chose a mid-priced restaurant. Neither of us ordered anything crazy. Prices were clearly marked on the menu. When the check came he was outraged at how "ridiculously expensive" it was. I took that as a hint so I handed him some cash (not a problem), which he refused but he made mention of the cost two more times, when leaving a tip and when we parted ways. Uncomfortable and weird. Was I supposed to be wildly impressed that he bought me a $22 entree? Was simple addition just not his thing?

                                                                                                                                                                                4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: LeoLioness

                                                                                                                                                                                  I've read through this thread a ton of times, and EVERY time your description of your date "looking at the menu, sighing with contentment, and murmuring 'I love this place'" makes me snicker out loud! It conjures up images in my head and I just can't even imagine how you kept your cool sitting at that table. Kudos.

                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: LeoLioness

                                                                                                                                                                                    22 dollar entree is "mid priced?"

                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: tigercrane

                                                                                                                                                                                      mid priced depends on the city and a lot of other variables

                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: tigercrane

                                                                                                                                                                                        its all relative.....22 dollar entree in a tiny little midwest town with nothing but a truck stop diner? outrageous. 22 dollar entree in on the upper east side in manhattan? cheap. 22 dollar entree in say, denver? yea, mid priced. all relative my friend. but no matter where u are, at least to me, if u are complaining about a 22 dollar entree when u are trying to impress a date? then u are cheap. u probably arent going to spend that every day on a meal after u get to know each other, but remember this is a "first date" situation.

                                                                                                                                                                                    2. Definitely had to be the guy who took me out the day before my birthday, and made a big deal at the restaurant that it was my birthday, had them sing me happy birthday, and bring out a piece of cake—and when the bill came, he didn’t even gesture to pay or go for the bill, instead I paid (including the cake!).

                                                                                                                                                                                      I also got taken out ON my actual birth day, and the guy told me he had no money on him and I paid. Hmm…maybe birthday-dates are not good luck…

                                                                                                                                                                                      1. I forgot to add the one about Pineapple Guy. I made the horrible mistake when I was really young and naive of going to this guy's apt (I needed the restroom). All around his apt were paintings he had made of pineapples. That's right. Just pineapples. Really bad, elementary school ability pineapples. He kept trying to corner me and fool around... right next to his pineapples. That was the only time I literally ran away from a date.

                                                                                                                                                                                        15 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                                          By any chance was his last name Squarepants?

                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                                            Maybe Pineapple guy was heavily invested in the pineapple as a symbol of welcome and friendship, 'cause it sounds like he was trying to be awfully friendly with YOU, miss.

                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: mamachef

                                                                                                                                                                                              LOL. I'm thinking now of the movie Little Nicky and the scene with a pineapple:}

                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                                                oh great. now i'm thinking of hitler in a french maid outfit. :-/

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: hill food

                                                                                                                                                                                                    No such thing as too much Monty P.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                      true, except then it would be Mlle. HiLter

                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: hill food

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Indeed it would, unless it were Clodagh Roberts or Lev Davidovitch Trotsky...with an only slightly-impaired Crunchie bar.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                        No one expects too much Python.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Withnail42

                                                                                                                                                                                                          now THERE was a bad (ok boring) date as much as I love that stuff, sitting through dinner while the other recites their favorite obscure bits..."new brain (pointing)" only goes so far. "CHECK!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Withnail42

                                                                                                                                                                                                            ….or the spanish inquisition.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                              I quote this all the time. I know when i've met someone i'll get along with when they recognize the quote :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: kubasd23

                                                                                                                                                                                                                aha! good tip! ;-)).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                i think that is my fave skit.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Spent two weeks in South America on a wine trip with four guys in the back of the small bus doing MP skits from memory. It was a lot like summer camp but with alcohol, one of the most delightful times I can recall, except when a drunken winery employee tried to put the moves on one of the women in the group as we were leaving after dinner. Her elderly husband grabbed the guy by the throat and picked up his cane in order to soundly thrash him, whereupon the Python Chorus stepped in and removed the cad from the bus, onto which he had lurched in hot pursuit.

                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                theres a poster on the denver area "yelp" whos profile pic is of her with a big ol sombrero and her tagline is "nobody expects the mexican inquisition"....awesome

                                                                                                                                                                                                1. I was invited to the apartment of a guy I'd dated a few times for dinner. When I got there, he had homebrewed beer (delicious), and bowls of peanuts, saltines, sardines, raisins, M&Ms, and a few other things I can't remember. That was dinner.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  After I married him, I did all the cooking, and still do, 20 years later.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  6 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Isolda

                                                                                                                                                                                                      I like that! It sounds to me like he wanted to share his favorite foods with you. I think about the bird species whose male brings bits of blue things to the female he is wooing. I just can't remember the name of the bird, though.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Isolda

                                                                                                                                                                                                        awww that IS sweet, in his own inept way.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Isolda

                                                                                                                                                                                                          That some have been some damn fine beer.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. I was on a first date set up by one of my cousins and the guy announced that he wouldn't eat ANY type of fruit and then told me that that meant that I would not be "allowed" to make any sort of fruit pie for him. Things got weirder after that, but not food related.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Jasz

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Interesting choice of words, as in, RUN LIKE HELL. I BET it got weirder!! ;P

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: mamachef

                                                                                                                                                                                                              ok, yea, the word ALLOWED is sort of a big red flag for ya right there....

                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. Election Day 2004.A lunch of liver and onions with mac and cheese and fried okra at a local diner in Georgia with an ex-girlfriend led to my second marriage and ultimately my second divorce. :-p

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: PotatoHouse

                                                                                                                                                                                                              Some people are just so weird about mac and cheese. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. This is not so terrible, compared to the stories posted here, but i went on a date with a long-time ex-co-worker/boss who was also a good friend and newly divorcing and had always fancied we had mutual chemistry. i just liked him as a friend, but what the hell, he was a nice guy so i went. takes me out to a nice place, and at the table, as he's pouring the wine for me, a drop is just about to drip onto the table and he quickly lunges and takes a swipe at the bottle with his tongue! it almost didn't even register with me, but then i looked at him, and he'd stopped mid-lick, and said, "I can't believe i just did that!" and i said, "I can't believe you just did that either!" we laughed. i was right, tho: there was no chemistry there at all, for me, as i found out later, and i sent him an ill-timed little note (we lived in different parts of the state) saying i didn't think we were a good match (not because of the wine incident) which unfortunately crossed with a sweet note he'd sent ME saying quite the opposite! i felt terrible. but, he's happily with someone else now and so am i.

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. "3. The cheap guy. (An accountant by the way!) He kept telling me he was taking me to a great restaurant. He took me to a hole-in-the wall empanada place. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing bad about empanadas. But don't talk it up like it's a 5 star restaurant:}"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Are you sure he was being cheap? Maybe he was just trying to be original. Maybe it was one of his favorites and he wanted to share that with you and learn how compatible you were? What did he do/say that convinced you he was THAT guy? "the cheap guy"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                29 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: crowmuncher

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I was thinking the same. A "great restaurant" to me isn't necessarily the most expensive one. Plenty of my favorites are cheap, hold-in-the-wall places and if a guy took me to one of them, it would definitely be a plus in my book.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Fromageball

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    yeah at least they gave it some thought instead of going for the "name" they expect everyone to like and if they are taking you to their favorite hole in the wall, they are really taking a chance and not just playing it safe...so sexy ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: crowmuncher

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Sorry if I didn't elaborate enough. If you've read any of my other CH posts you'd know how much I adore a good hole-in-the-wall. The fact that he took me to a hole-in-the-wall was not the issue. The issue was that he talked about it as if he were taking me to Per Se... he made me expect something completely different. On top of that, after I made it clear how hungry I was, he ordered me a single, teeny tiny empanada. Oh- to get there- it was freezing cold and raining- he insisted that I walk, freezing cold and wet to the bus. Combine this with a previous date to a museum, where we had gone to the counter and after paying for himself ($5 a person) he looked at me and said "Are you going to take care of this?" And before you wonder if perhaps he was simply broke, he bragged about the amount of savings he had due to living in a teeny tiny room in his mother's apartment. Yes, he was cheap:} Compare this to my hubby- he loves the hole-in-the-wall. However, he knows that there is a difference between Mamoun's Falafel and Le Cirque. More importantly, he never would have made me walk in the freezing rain to a bus on a date. After the first date, I did help pay for the dates but he never would have put me on the spot the way "cheap guy" did. I gave "cheap guy" his moniker because he did not know how to treat a lady. I believe in chivalry:}

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I have to laugh at how easy it is to leave out pertinent details when you're trying to be efficient enough to respond on this thing without taking an afternoon to write a novel. These details definitely explain the Cheap Guy moniker.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I think regardless of gender, when it comes to dating, hope and optimism make us tolerate a lot of stuff we normally wouldn't.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          "... when it comes to dating, hope and optimism make us tolerate a lot of stuff we normally wouldn't."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I love that. It explains so much...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          "after I made it clear how hungry I was, he ordered me a single, teeny tiny empanada"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          i just read your resply this morning Nicole; A girl's gotta eat and I agree a single, teeny tiny empanada is just not worth it ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: crowmuncher

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            But it begs the question, why didn't she order herself another empanada, or two, or three? Isn't it one's own responsibility to see that one's needs are met?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: MelMM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              [Quote] Isn't it one's own responsibility to see that one's needs are met? [/Quote]

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              If so, then why date in the first place?? ;-p

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: MelMM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                yeah, she could have asked for more, but shouldn't he have given her more in the first place? That's why dating is good. It gives you an idea of how compatible u are. Seems like Nicole (same as me) prefers the kind of date who's generous with the empanadas ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: crowmuncher

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  We should come up with an Empanada Rating scale for dates now, like, *That was the best date EVER. I give him four out of four empanadas. Two thumbs wayyyy up!!!*

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    great idea; some of those empanadas are very labor intensive (and delicious) so it makes perfect sense that they be a standard for a Date Rating Scale :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      4 out of 4, 'cause that's all I've got. Or in her case - exactly 1 out of 4!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        i like that empanada scale. since i'm married, i'll have to find other applications. mr. alka prefers salteñas…, but "salteña scale" just doesn't have the same catchy ring to it. LOL. in fact, it sounds like something one would have to get removed by the dermatologist -- or by the scrubbing bubbles on the shower tiles.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        and as to dates, if he gave her a tiny little empanada, just call him "the wee empanada" -- IF ya get my drift.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          yeah- u can bet there isn't more where that teeny empanada came from ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: crowmuncher

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            wouldn't that be an empanadilla?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: hill food

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                the empanadilla as opposed to the "whole enchilada" LOL

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ladeeez, you know of what i speak.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Or the "Big Juan" soda size that Taco Time used to carry.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              hey, how does your hubby know salteñas? i prefer them to empanadas too, but you're right, empanada scale just sounds better.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: mariacarmen

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                we learned about salteñas from my former secretary, who is bolivian. there is a place near my "beauty shop" (LOL) that makes some pretty good ones. what really makes them special is the hot green sauce.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  where do you live, again? I'm in SF and have found 1 place that makes them, but they're not the best I've had Of course, the best I've had were in La Paz, visiting family this past June! I wonder what sauce you had with them.... Llajwa (the traditional bolivian hot sauce) is reddish. i'm sure your secretary had you try some. Peru has a delicious green hot sauce, just called aji.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: mariacarmen

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    i live in arlington, virginia, next to d.c.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    the green sauce is probably basically the pepper (don't know the variety -- doesn't taste like jalapeño or serrano)…. maybe onion, vinegar and water. not sure if it has cilantro -- maybe a little, but the sauce is blended and a uniformly medium-bright green color.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      alka, are you talking about pike pizza?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: kubasd23

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        no, next to pike pizza -- it is pan american bakery. mr. alka likes the chicken salteñas, and if you order two, make sure that they give you two sauces (they always try to skimp on those!).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I'm talking about the little bolivian restaurant that has amazing chicken saltenas (only on sat. morning, early).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: kubasd23

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            yes, i know the place. it is right next door. the bakery has salteñas every day.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            i am curious to know why they are "amazing" salteñas at the pike pizza. i think we had them once but were not impressed. what am i missing, compared with those from pan american bakery?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      yea i totally get it but i think the "living in a teeny tiny room in his mother's apartment" might have been the deal breaker for me. unless u guys were 20 or something, its sorta time to move out of "moms"....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: crowmuncher

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Yeah. Some of the best secret dining places are "hole in the walls." That's actually the kind of place I might choose for a date (although I'm not crazy about empenadas. It shows his ability to find out of the way restaurants, and sophistication with ethnic food.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  And girls that choose guys based on how much money they blow on them probably aren't people I want to date.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: tigercrane

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    yea but sounds like this guy was trying to act like they were going to a 3 michelin star, fine dining establishment. also sounds like she would have been fine with it if he had just been honest and said "we're going to get empanadas" instead of trying to make it something that it wasnt. i mean, if u were taking a date to go get empanadas, why wouldnt u just say so? and theres a huge difference between spending a weeks paycheck on one date, and expecting ur date to be satisfied with one small empanada, which arent that expensive anyway. i wouldnt necessarily choose a guy based on, as u say, how much money they blow. but i definitely would choose a guy based on whether or not he was honest. he could have just been honest.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                3. Early 2007 went on a couple of dates with a guy whose favorite subject was how the housing bubble was going to burst and nobody realized - I wonder if he was happy to be right about that? Anyway, he invites me to his place for his specialty seafood Alfredo pasta. I get there and the kitchen was completely filthy. Dishes everywhere, not a single bare spot on the counter gross. The one impressive aspect was he made his own pasta. But the famous seafood Alfredo was various cans of sea food glued together with whatever sauce. Can of oysters, can of salmon, can of god knows what -4 or 5 cans. This is in seattle where finding good fresh or even frozen fish is as easy as breathing. I brought a bottle of wine and the only glasses he had were these cheesy metal chalice things that gave the wine an off taste. Messy, mediocre, ruined wine...did not go back for more.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: babette feasts

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          geez, way to impress a girl. i mean, at the asian stores here in landlocked denver, u can even get fresh oysters, clams, etc. come on! and also, player, ur dating and inviting women to ur apartment....u cant go to friggin pottery barn already and buy a pack of 4 wine glass for like 10 bucks?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. Well, there was the guy that invited me out to dinner and then proceeded to not take me out OR fix anything for dinner.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          And the young doctor that asked me out for dinner and took me to Jack-in-the-Box. I have nothing against JITB, but I guess it made me feel not very special, you could say.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          One guy took me out to a nice French restaurant. It was a small place and there was a group of people who would not leave so we sat there for nearly an hour (with reservations, no less) waiting. The owner came up and apologized, and bought us bottle of wine. At the time I was very thin, and probably hadn't eaten all day. When we were finally seated, the food came out in beautiful tiny courses, which was a nice change from where I usually ate at the time. One course came out, it was maybe three bites' worth, and looked gorgeous. I was marveing at the sight of it when my date said "Eat it slowly. Savor the taste." I said "Why did you say that? Was I drooking on the plate?" I think he thought he was very sophisticated and I was very Not and he was going to teach me. I told the friend that introduced us that I should have picked the food up with my hand and crammed the whole thing into my mouth.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: EWSflash

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            You just reminded me of the guy who asked me out on a lunch date after church and then spent 2 hours driving around the city in his (pretty grubby) truck because he couldn't decide on a place, shooting down my suggestions and ignoring the longing looks I gave to restaurant after restaurant as we sped on by.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Jasz

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              hahaha that is truly awful Jasz

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. Back when I was cooking professionally, I asked a young lady to join me and a few friends at my apartment for dinner. So... I made fresh noodles to toss with the sauteed cucumber slices with capers & dill. Seafood mousse steamed inside rolls of Bibb lettuce leaves, herbed Beurre Blanc. Made fresh melon sorbet. Nice wines.... . My friend's wife says to my date "You've harly touvhed your food. Aren't you enjoying dinner?" "Not really", she says. "I would be happy with a sandwich."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Sommelier

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              yikes, i totally feel for u. sounds like u went all out and thats what u get? damn

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Sommelier

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                How awful. I almost feel for her, though. I'm trying to teach myself to be adventurous with food, but capers and any word before "mousse" except "chocolate" are still scary for me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Though, I absolutely wouldn't have said anything about a damn sandwich. I would have been almost in tears from embarrassment about not being able to eat what someone had worked so hard on. :(

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. i am a "foodie", always willing to try new things, and the thought of Denny's or Olive Garden gets my bowels in an uproar. i married a guy who likes "simple" food, to the point of NO dairy (yes, no cheese other than what comes on a pizza LOL), and NO FISH (i adore sushi). he's a meat and potatoes man, and that's it. but he was more than willing to go anywhere i wanted, and he could always find something on the menu that he could eat. we've been long divorced, but that willingness to let me "do my thing" still makes me smile. he never made me watch sports, either. thanks, pat, wherever you are. ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. I am positively loving these horror stories!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Here is mine:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  When I was about 23/4 I met this man who was an attorney and a CPA both at a reception and he literally blocked the stairs to keep me from leaving the City Club. He introduced himself as - I am not kidding, as the whole night is indelibly burned on my brain, as *Mr. {first}{middle}{last}{the Third}.* I will just refer to him as Third from here on out.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Was not even remotely attracted to Third and finally made my escape. Just as I was walking into my office the next morning at 8:30 a.m. I picked up my phone as it was ringing and it was Third inviting me to dinner on Saturday. GAGH!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Being taken off guard, I acquiesced, and at some point before Saturday I called him to say I had forgotten an afternoon wedding I had to attend on Saturday, so could he please pick me up at 6:30 instead of 6:00. Saturday rolls around and he shows up to my apartment before 6:30 while I was still getting ready and my roomie at the time tells him I will be out shortly. I come out to the living room and he clapped his hand together in rapid succession whilst saying "Chop! Chop! We've got to get going; you just *had* to go to a wedding!" (o.m.g.; I should have gone back to my bedroom then and closed the door).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Third scurries us off to a close-by Italian restaurant, hassles the hostess into seating us in the smoking section (which existed at the time), and orders quickly upon being handed the menus for both of us "two mussels linguine and water, and please make it snappy!" (o.m.g. I should have walked home!). ps - I hate mussels!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  While waiting on the entrees to arrive, Third tells me about the year he spent living in Japan and I asked him if he was a shshi fan (oh yes!) and he asked me if I was. I said definitely and Waraji was my favorite. Well, I guess in his eyes I slaughtered the Japanese pronunciation of Waraji because he corrected me. Twice. Bread arrives while Third is telling me about his service with the Jaycees and the fun activities they participated in. To wit, he had recently gone to an etiquette class so I asked if he had learned anything. Completely ignoring my sarcasm and pointed remark, he says, "Why yes I did. I learned you should not butter your bread the way you are doing it!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The linguine arrived; I pecked at it and only then did I find out what the d@mn hurry was about - he had bought theater tickets for a local production of the Patsy Cline story (which was, as I recall, the only part of the evening that I liked).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  After the play he asked if I wanted a drink (h#ll yes I want and need a drink desperately), and he takes me to this ancient HOTEL in town that is round-shaped and tells me it is the best kept secret in town. WTF? I told him I was not going to a hotel with him and he said, no, it was the restaurant on the top.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Ohhhh. OK. Let's please go to the decrepit hotel that might fall over at any moment. We go up to the top floor (only time in my life I have ever been there) and the view was indeed nice, but that is all I can say. The lounge had last been updated roughly in 1978 and Mr Cool Third orders again for us. This time I took a stand. Third ordered two WHITE ZINFADELS!!!!!!! Gag me. I was only 23/4 at the time, but even I knew then that was a huge no!no!, not to mention it was a man ordering one for himself.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Me: Sorry! I will have a Makers Mark + gingerale please.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Third: That is very heavy; she will have something lighter
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Me: No! Bring me the Makers Mark. As quickly as possible, please.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Third: look of haughty disdain.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  This night of horrors further devolved, but that was the last food/drink related occurrence, so I guess I need to stop there.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  13 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Tehama

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    This is too funny. For some reason, I picture Third with very neatly combed hair with the gel still visible.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I'm not in the market to date now, but I can certainly sympathize with your having done that at 23/24. I've gone on a few bad dates when I should have known better, or stayed on those dates far longer than I should have because I didn't trust my judgment or intuition as well as I should have.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    But all these crazy date stories sure make entertaining reading. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Tehama

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      seriously, ordered for you? twice?? gak!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      *shudder* sounds horrible.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Tehama

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        That's hysterical! I hope you learned the cardinal lesson of dating; do not be "nice" by saying yes when you mean no. It will save you a LOT of grief:}

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Tehama

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I think at this point in your story "That is very heavy; she will have something lighter" you are entitled to throw your drink on him. I couldn't even imagine ordering a drink or an entree for someone else, unless they told me what they wanted their order to be and asked me to order while they ran to the bathroom or made a cell phone call outside or something. His telling the waiter "no" after you order what you want just blows my mind.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Tehama

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            "and please make it snappy!" (o.m.g. I should have walked home!)"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            it's funny cuz when i was 23/4 i would of stayed too -afraid of not being polite; but many years later- like today- i wouldn't walk, i would run home at that point and would not care less about calling out Mr. Third on his "douchy" behavior in front of that server and those near our table :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            And on a side note I'm very proud to say I've never dated a man that has ordered a White Zinfandel for himself, but maybe I'm just lucky that way ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: crowmuncher

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I'm trying to think if I've ever known a man whose drink of preference was white zin... I don't think so.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                and you should be very proud of that...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: crowmuncher

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                crowmuncher -- when we were young, we didn't have wrinkles but were more afraid to speak our mind….now with wrinkles, we don't care if someone doesn't "like" what we have to say and we don't have to put up with crap that we don't like, either.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ah, liberation! ;-)).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  we deal with crap all the time Alka, but that doesn't mean we have to like it right? Damn straight!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Tehama

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Was the hotel the Standard in Los Angeles?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. A guy once invited me to his house for dinner. I arrived at the appointed time; he opened the door and then went back to his seat in the dining room which was near the entryway.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      There I was standing there, looking at the dining table full of people (about a dozen) clearly at least halfway through dinner, and no chair for me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Turns out it was his parents' house. I escaped in embarassement. and never discerned what his game was.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: sandylc

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        So he opened the door, didn't greet you or anything, and just turned back around and returned to his seat? WOW. :|

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: sandylc

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          hahahahaha. WTH?? who does that?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. I met my ex (hey it lasted 17 pretty good years) at the start of Lent and he had really strict ideas about the Fast. so couldn't eat meat or chicken and was allergic to fish, and didn't like rice and beans. and didn't like tofu. made Friday date nights a lot of fun figuring what was left on the acceptable list. I stuck it out and it was worth it, but when it turns into 10 PM and there's nothing acceptable except a bag of Andy Capp's Hot Fries (bacon flavored, but no animal matter) made it a bit rough. was an awesome cook and became an adventurous eater later (the fish thing was really an adversion after a bad meal). so after Lent was over most food issues went away and everything was great, just getting there was a pain.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. Hmm. Was it the time I feigned nonchalance when confronted with my first tamale, and gamely took a huge bite right into the husk? Or when I confidently agreed that sushi was wonderful (not confessing that I'd only eaten it just once, at a casual gathering, where it was relegated to the finger food category) and then promptly flipped my first piece right out of my chopsticks to the floor? In the latter case, we had an extremely deft waitress. She barely paused in her stride to scoop it up mid-roll, and then continued on. I still love her. In the first anecdote, my date's dry remark as he tried not to laugh won me over completely. Of course, we were eating in a parking lot, so the bar wasn't terribly high.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I just have *one* story I can pin on someone else. There was a guy who wanted to take me out to dinner, despite the fact that I was still sticky with breakup residue, and leaving the state in a week. I declined, explaining that I was saving every penny I had in order to start over, and that I just couldn't afford to spend any money on socializing. He persisted; he claimed he was glad to take me to dinner, and didn't want to miss even a belated chance to know me better, and he hoped to take me to his favorite restaurant. We talk a bit, I agree (because I'm sticky). He picks me up, and we drive to the city for dinner. In the restaurant, we order drinks while we are waiting for our table. The table became available before our drinks arrived, and I excuse myself to visit the restroom. When I walked back to the table, our drinks are there, my date is gone (to the restroom himself), and I am greeted by the bartender. He tactfully, and uneasily, explained that *my* drink had not yet been taken care of. The look on his face made me aware that he wasn't asking for the entire tab to be paid. "Was his drink taken care of?" I asked carefully--I was too surprised to be more tactful than that. The bartender confirmed that my date had paid for only his drink. I truly had not the money to spare, and had made that clear before agreeing to the damn dinner. I guess I can credit the breakup-stickiness for my response, because I was sick of taking it to the chin with a smile. "My date should be back in a moment," I said. The bartender hastily intercepted my 'date' when he came back into the restaurant, and the tab was paid. The funny thing was, afterwards, he told our mutual acquaintances that he'd been looking for a woman like me all his life. I still wonder if the surprise dutch was a test of some sort. I wonder what he would have done if he'd seen me bite into a corn husk.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            And I think I've managed to include all of the salient points, to avoid any censure.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            8 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: onceadaylily

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I'm surprised you didn't leave before he got back, given the clearly stated financial situation, the impending move and the (understandable) reluctance. I'd have been tempted to knock back the drink in one gulp and sail out.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: hill food

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                No cell phone, the 'city' was DC--a forty minute drive away from my place, and he drove. I still just feel sorry for the bartender. He had to approach my date for a second time about the tab. I can't imagine what he said . . . but he was outstandingly professional when he approached me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                But a month later I met someone who watched me bite into a corn husk. Chemistry. If it's there, it's there, and you'll overlook much.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: onceadaylily

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Lily - way to go! I need to get better at standing up for myself!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: onceadaylily

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  was it discussed at all, when you got to the table? how bizarre.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: mariacarmen

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Nope. I just gave a calm smile when he came back to the table, as if nothing at all had happened. I felt as if I was being a little entitled/princess-like at that point, but I didn't know what *to* say without making it worse. And he paid for dinner without any fanfare. He otherwise seemed like a nice guy, and was actually from a very well-traveled and educated family. It was odd. Maybe he thought the date was a loss at an early point, but I grew on him over dinner.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: onceadaylily

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      hahahaha you are awesome for that. I would've done the same.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: mariacarmen

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Odd indeed, lily. Perhaps he would have liked you less if you paid your half. :P

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    3. Prom, '77 or so. Scenario: a small town in Northern California, trying to figure out what to order for dinner w/ my date, whom I'd have died to impress. Also trying to plan ways to eat w/o dripping anything.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: I'll have the Chef's Salad, dressing on the side, please.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Waitress: What's that, honey? (snaps gum)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: The Chef's salad, please, and I want my dressing alongside, not on the salad, please?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Her: Picky little thing, ain't you?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: Whaaaaa?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Her: Picky. Most yew teenage girls are, yep. Why me I ever 'time my nieces get to askin' for special favors why I just tell them they ain't but one damn cook and the cook ain't makin but one damn thing.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: Um. (flaming, wanting to disappear.)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Her: So, what'd you want?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: Prime Rib, no au jus.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Her: There you go, bein' picky again! What's wrong with awwww juice?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: Forget it.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      So I speared a chunk when the meal came, and watched it drip, and attempted to recover and ended up dropping my entire fork, contents included, into my lap.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It didn't bode well for the rest of the evening, but OH the shame at table. Oh, feeling like I did NOT know how to communicate in even the barest of ways.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: mamachef

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        You poor thing. I would have been traumatized!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I am dearly loving these stories. We need to write a collective blog just dedicated to these fiascoes!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I know I hate when they grab our good posts and "report" them as if they are writing an article. Has happened to me a few times and complaining was ignored by TPTB.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Quine

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Um, you *did* read the TOS when you signed up, didn't you? Our *only* value is as free content providers for a massive, greedy, soulless corporation, and they can do anything they want with it. I'm okay with that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: acgold7

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Reading the comments attached to the "article", It seems that few, if any, perused this thread before commenting.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: INDIANRIVERFL

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  that bummed me out, too. people were very judgmental based on one line excepts taken out of the context of the rest of the thread :( to everyone who was termed something nasty by the commenters on that article: *we* don't think that, about you!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: soupkitten

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    This is par for the course with these *articles*. The same thing happened with another thread a month or two ago where we were talking about signs of bad cooking or a bad cook. Lots of people read it out of context of the original thread and got really huffy about it. Most of the quotes are selected for their power to incite and/or titillate, I'm sure. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      omg i'm now counting myself lucky. it would be very easy for people to have a field day with excerpts of some of my own posts. . . eek. well i have a pretty thick skin, if it ever happens. but i wonder if other people hesitate to offer opinions and especially personal stories like some of these anecdotes, because of the use of excerpts in these widely read(?) stories/articles.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        This just happened to me a couple weeks ago... they took my comments about how much I enjoyed the shared turreen of soup, or crock of pate, whatever it might be that often comes to your table in a French brasserie, etc. and wondering why we can't do that more here in the States, and they took it completely out of context (not even sure if some editor even read the whole post I put up) and said I was "Shocked" at this behavior in foriegn resto's!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Man I was mad. Promplty complained, and to my suprise within an hour they changed the title of the article and correctly attributed my comments turning them positive again. So suprised I got heard! :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Man these stories are so funny... love it!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: INDIANRIVERFL

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Those 'articles' are a good thing. Sometimes I'd never see interesting threads like this one if they were not posted on the front page!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. Oh dear, these stories! Fortunately only a few on my end...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1, Someone in my office building asked me out for an early dinner straight after work. We went to a small, family-run Korean place, where he ordered an appetizer and a few entrees off the menu. (Being unfamiliar with Korean food at the time, I was happy to let him navigate the menu and tell me about the different dishes.)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The restaurant was pretty quiet- maybe one or 2 other tables occupied- so a dish was set down on our table within a few minutes. It was one of the entrees we had ordered. My dining partner nearly had a fit because it came out before the "starter"....he spoke so rudely, picked up the plate and pushed it back into the server's hands, who was confused because we HAD ordered the dish (and partly, I suspect, because he was talking very quickly/harshly in a non-native tongue for her.) The server kept trying to put the dish down, pleading for us to enjoy while it was hot. I was totally with her- it looked and smelled amazing....but he wouldn't relent.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The manager finally came over, took the plate away, and then brought the same plate back after we had finished our starter, stone cold. I'm not sure I could blame them! He wanted to leave no tip, but I added enough cash to "cover my half", which included a tip on the full bill. To this day, I can't eat Korean food without recalling this incident, though subsequent visits have been in much better company.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. In another incident, I was sadly the offender. Went out for sushi with a guy I'd already been on a few dates with. As we were eating, he noticed that I had to bite into certain roll pieces because they were quite large. He chided me into putting a full piece into my mouth, and as I was attempting to chew and swallow, began to tease me. Much as I tried, I realized that I could not contain my laughter before swallowing.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                With my mouth is full, guess where the laughter had to escape? That's right....my nose.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I hurriedly ducked my head downward into my napkin, then looked up hopefully to see what the damage was. The poor guy was sitting across from me with a stunned expression on his face, and bits of half-chewed rice, fish and avocado stuck in his beard and splattered across his shirt. (I cringe even thinking about it years later....) The only thing I could do was apologize between fits of my embarassed laughter.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                He kindly paid the bill at the end of the evening and never called again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                9 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: 4Snisl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I certainly hope the nasal sushi spray, which was clearly his fault, was not the reason you never saw him again. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: 4Snisl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Oh NO!!!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    He never called again?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I was totally expecting you to say you went on to have a wonderful relationship ect...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    so funny, though, and screw him if he didnt have a sense of humor!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    it was his fault, anyway for coaxing you into shoving the whole piece in your mouth! He deserved it!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: 4Snisl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I almost did a through the nose while reading your #2, OMG so funny, tho' I know at the time was terribly embaressing for you

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: 4Snisl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        You're all very kind. :) Clearly it was not meant to be....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I've abstained from eating/drinking while reading this thread because of this very incident.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: 4Snisl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          That reminds me of the time when I was about 12 years old, and staying at my godparent's house... I had two slightly older god-brothers, who were like real brother's to me. All the teasing, etc. Our families went on vacations and things like that together.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Well, we were having a little supper after a matinee movie, simple meal of Campbell's good ol' cream of mushroom soup and grilled cheese. My older godbrother started making jokes and next thing I know, I am laughing so hard that soup is coming out of my nose and spraying all over both of them!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          We still laugh about it to this day! Not a date moment, but it sure was embarassing. I of course had kind of a crush on one of them, even tho he was 'like a brother'. Aaaacccck.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: gingershelley

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Oh my...the vision of cream of mushroom soup through the nose.....my sides hurt.....:)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: 4Snisl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I will never live it down...:)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: 4Snisl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            That Kemosabe can really clear the sinuses!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3. When I first moved to Princeton, I decided to try to meet someone on the Internet. I asked an online dating prospect if she'd like to have coffee, and she recommended Ruby Tuesday's (not exactly Starbucks, but it is public, easy to find, and actually right near where I lived). We met, sat, and ordered drinks. She received a couple of text messages, but you gotta expect that from a mom with active kids.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Twenty minutes in, I asked her if she'd like to have something to eat (we're in a restaurant, so why not have a nosh?) and instead, she stands and says she needs to leave. (Don't they say women can tell within fifteen seconds if they want to sleep with someone?) Anyway, decisiveness is a fine trait. Woosh she's gone. Probably gotta pick someone up from soccer practice.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I paid the tab and drove South, deciding to stop in the Barnes & Noble to browse the books. I'm browsing through the audio books, look up, and there's my internet date having coffee at the Starbucks cafe - with another man! This is a little more than an hour after our "coffee!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I was tempted to approach her and ask how her coffee was, but I figured, hey, good luck. Babysitter's on the clock.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: GraydonCarter

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Wow. What are the chances. At least she didn't waste time - not yours or hers.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              You were a great sport about it, though. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: GraydonCarter

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Damn- I would have set a stopwatch to see how long she lasted with B&N man! You sound like a true gentleman.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: GraydonCarter

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    hahaha if she saw you she would have thought that you were stalking her! That is hilarious.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: GraydonCarter

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      if she had seen you, she might have spewed frappuccino out her nose, lol!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. I took a date to a Japanese restaurant in Western, PA. I was much younger, newer to sushi, and didn't really know how to recognize quality.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      We decided to order some tako nigiri pieces. They were much too large for a single bite, and the octopus was so rubbery that I actually couldn't bite the pieces cleanly in half. As I tried to pull what I thought would be the uneaten half from my teeth, I ended up taking the whole thing along with a disgusting trail of spit. Of course my date witnessed the whole thing. Luckily she thought it was more funny than disgusting.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Rodzilla

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        a much cooler date than the one you posted upstream. a sense of humor is vital IMHO. oops! "hey remember that time you made such a fool of yerself!?" yeah laugh at me, I feel wrong when people don't.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Rodzilla

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I guess we should add octopus to the 'do not eat on first date' list. (Like Big Macs)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. I have a good one. I had just moved to a new neighborhood, and was trying to make friends with my new neighbors. They insisted that I just 'had' to go on a date with their friend Glenn, I was 'just his type'. After a bit of convincing I agreed, they seemed nice enough.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          So the guy picks me up and takes me to a nice little Italian place. Most of the conversation revolves around how he doesn't think our age difference is a big deal (me 19, him 32 I think). I didn't really agree, but then again I didn't think to ask his age when I agreed to this date, so I just smiled and continued with my dinner. He suggests going to his place to watch movies. Well, ok, sure. I really had a hard time saying no to people.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          We get to his house and watch a couple of scary movies. This wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't kept inching closer and closer to me, to the point that he's basically leaning on my while we watch these movies. And then my dinner comes back. I must have eaten too fast, because I started burping chicken marsala odors all over the place. I was so embarrassed, but he said it was 'cute'.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          We are about half way through the second movie, when, I kid you not, this guy turns to me and says "You want to make love?" WHAT?!?! No problem saying "NO!" that time. Who asks this on a first date?? He then tries to convince me to 'stay the night', and I make up some excuse about how I have to go home because I can't sleep with my contacts on, and no, I can't go to the store and get a new contact case, I have to use my own. I even managed to hop out of his truck fast enough that he couldn't try to kiss me when he dropped me off at home.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          That only had a little to do with food, but looking back on it now it's so funny I just had to share.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          7 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: saxamaphone357

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            And who says *MAKE LOVE* on a first date?!?!?!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Nothing like a creep wanting to *make love* on a first date to teach you how to say no! :P

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I know! I couldn't believe this guy actually said that on a first date, and actually worded it as 'make love'. Unforgettable, lol.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: saxamaphone357

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              You had me at "managed to hop out of his truck..."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: beevod

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                So pretty much not until the end of the story?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: saxamaphone357

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Ah, this would have creeped me out too. And it reminded me of the 'passionate lova' snl skits with Will Ferrell, hehe.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: lilgi

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Saxamaphone, et. al.... this is all so funny I am not getting my Christmas cards done so I can read this thread!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Serious LOL material:)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. This wasn't my date, but a date my roommate went on:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  She was on an online dating site and a gentleman asked her out. She was a little hesitant because on his profile he indicated that he did not drink. They agreed on a Lebanese restaurant and met up there. The date proceeds with him telling her about the thousands of dollars of credit card debit he had and how he was pretty much broke all the time. She asked if it was ok if she ordered a glass of wine, he said yes but said that he didn't understand why she would want to drink something that was so expensive. It became obvious that his alcohol temperance was due to cost, not health reasons. When the bread basket came - balloon-like fresh pita bread - he tore off one end and stuck his hand in it like a puppet and then gestured with it like a puppet. He grabbed one of the falafel off the appetizer plate and tossed it back and forth between his hands before eating it. Generally abysmal table manners continued. The date ended he insisted on splitting the check. My roommate returned home, took one look at me and said "Do we have any gin in the house?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  7 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Flaxen_Vixen

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    AH LMAO!!!!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    See, this whole thread is EXACTLY why I am not interested in dating. AT ALL.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Flaxen_Vixen

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      OMG! A pita bread puppet! this may win the prize for this thread.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      A friend of mine is married to a non-drinker-due-to-cheapness (he has NO problem pounding back booze provided by someone else's dime) and he makes her pay for her own drinks when they go out to eat. It is like a bad date that never ends.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: cleobeach

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        How does she pay for her own drinks when they are married?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: 2roadsdiverge

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          One would wonder........

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          They keep seperate finances, they each pay a certain amount towards housing and everything else is seperate. He has issues.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: cleobeach

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            That is...wow...that's bad. What a jerk.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: cleobeach

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              They keep seperate finances, they each pay a certain amount towards housing and everything else is seperate. He has issues.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              You mean that arrangment isn't normal? That's what ours is without issues. But then again she makes wayyyyy more than me!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: Flaxen_Vixen

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          ROFLMAO @ "stuck his hand in it like a puppet and then gestured with it like a puppet." WTH!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        3. I mentioned this thread to my DH the other day, he wanted to know if I replied to the thread with the story of our first date. No, it was not a "food horror" for me, but probably seemed so to him! we met new years eve, and I invited him over for dinner a couple nights later. we were both post-college poor so going out wasn't a real option. I cooked what I thought was a pretty tasty meal - hamburg stroganofff made with cream-o-mushroom soup, and steamed broccoli. What I didn't realize (and couldn't know at that point) was that there are just a couple things my DH doesn't eat. Mushrooms... and broccoli. he was a very good sport... frankly I don't know that he realized what was in the stroganoff until later... and stayed talking until about 2am. thank goodness he saw potential beyond that "horrible" first date, we've been together 18 years now! LOL

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: jujuthomas

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            He he. When my parents were newlyweds, they moved in to their new house, and my mother, who isn't a great cook of savories (she's an excellent pastry chef, though), decided to cook for my father. So my mother makes some kind of chicken, which apparently was vastly undercooked, and takes it into the dining room which had these transom windows that were open. My father says, "do you mind if I close the transom windows", and my mother says, why. He says, "so the chicken doesn't fly away!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Still a good story, even after 48 years of marriage.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Uncle Yabai

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              ha ha that's a great one Uncle.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: jujuthomas

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              as it turns out, for me, "no broccoli" is a deal-breaker! thankfully.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: KarenDW

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                LOL - if he had turned out to be as rigid with his food rules as he initially appeared to be, I probably would not have put up with it either. Turns out he didn't like certain foods because he'd never had good versions of them. Once he tried "my" pork chops, meatloaf... whatever else... he loved it, so we are left with just a couple dislikes and those I can live with. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: jujuthomas

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I will share my not-quite-about-the-food date humor moment as I see that there are a few that stray a little from that...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  My French BF and I met on an online dating site, and I was immediately taken with his cute kind of broken English, his wonderful nose and smile, so after exchanging some slightly awkward emails, I asked to speak on the phone. This was (when I was doing a rash of internet dating) my pre-requisite to agreeing to meet up with someone so you could know if they were re-writing and re-writing, etc. their notes, or if you have a genuine connection at least enough to go forward to seeing if there is actual pheremones in the air when you are together. Well, he emails back that his accent is kind of strong, so why don't we just meet as the phone can be kind of a barrier for him.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  He is French, and I allready know from our exchanges he is well traveled, fairly sophisticated, and smart, so I make an exception and agree to a date sans-phone conversation. He suggests a smart, fairly casual French bistro for the date, and it is clear from his choice of words he is taking me out, so what can be the harm?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Well, the day comes, and there is still a bit of email going back and forth about time of reservation, etc. in the morning while I am in the office.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  My co worker who I was pretty good friends with knew about the upcoming date in the evening, so when I got an email from JF saying "well, I was going to walk there, as it is not far from my condo, but it might rain - why don't you give me a ride?" I go into full-on what kind of freak is this? Should I go?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I mean, what kind of guy who has any sense asks a woman he has never met to have her let him in her car before they have even met? Is this guy AN AX MURDERER? I nearly cancelled.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Thank goodness I sent back something light-hearted to the effect that how would that be a way for us to meet, with me driving in city traffic in the rain with him as passenger for our first ten minutes of in-person conversation. Oh, and just maybe he was going to pull a knife out and kill me?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  We agreed to meet as planned at the restaurant.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Fortunately, it was a fascinating evening, with a lovely french meal and wine with a wonderful Frenchman, and 3 years later we are still laughing about how I almost cancelled.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Many 2 & 3* star Michellin's later, two trips to France, Italy and Spain together and so many memories allready - I am glad I didn't decide he was a crazy stalker!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            3. I think this is my favorite thread, ever.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Nicole F thank you for starting it!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: SeaSide Tomato

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                This was at brunch at one of the nicest hotels in the city. The waiter reached to remove the bread basket and my date yelled, "wrap those up...and the little jars of jam, too". I didn't think I could be more embarassed, but I was wrong. As, we were leaving I heard the waiter frantically calling me. That's right...my date didn't sign the check and was walking out.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Yes, it was the first and last date. (a fix up from a well meaning friend). And yes, the guy was then referred to as "The Jam Man".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: DaisyM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I will admit to knowing plenty of people (many who are related to me) who would slip those little jams into their purses/pockets but not one that would instruct the waiter to make up a to-go package!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: SeaSide Tomato

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  :) I may be happily married now but I still love exchanging funny date stories:}

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. I once dated a guy who would offer to take me out to dinner when I flew in to visit him (long distance, 2 hour plane ride). He'd take me out to dinner at Subway. I was young, stupid and in college back then and I understood that he didn't have a lot of money, but the thing that sealed the deal was that the guy also worked at subway and got sandwiches for free there.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    We would get there late at night (24-hour subway, he worked the graveyard shift at another job) and he would make me a sandwich. Then we would have to go through this charade of me paying him at the cashier, which he said was for the cameras. Now that I look back at it, we were stealing from subway, because he would hand me the money back after we left.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    One time, I wanted a cookie along with my sandwich, but he was too lazy to bake/microwave it and he just gave me a tub of cookie dough to eat raw instead.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Needless to say, we broke up shortly afterward and now I can't walk past a subway without cringing at the smell.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: PandanExpress

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My brother was known for dating beautiful women who weren't very smart.. On a first date, the woman looked at the menu and exclaimed, "look they have soup du jour...its my favorite!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: inaplasticcup

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I swear everytime I see soup du jour on a menu I think of my brother. And for everyone else who loves soup du jour....http://www.hark.com/clips/pkvhvkmwms-...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: DaisyM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          it's like the old saw where the waitress (never waiter) approaches the table, and one of the diners asks: "what is the soup du jour"-- and the waitress replies: "it's just the soup of the day, hun." ;-P

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        3. I ordered quail at a restaurant because my date swore blind that it would come partially deboned and be easy to eat. Turned not not to be, and I wasn't game to use my fingers even though there was a fingerbowl provided, etc. When I was using my knife and fork to try and cut through the quail, it shot off the plate, flew through the air and landed in the finger bowl.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. A few tidbits...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. Went out to brunch with a friend-of-a-friend; it was one of those ambiguous "is this a date?" events. We had a rather long wait to be seated and another long wait for our food, so by the time the server came with our plates, I was ravenous. He must have been even more ravenous - by the time I finished chewing my first bite of food, his was mostly gone. I concluded that it was NOT a date.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. While I was on Match.com, I got tired of meeting guys for drinks, so I suggested to one that we meet at a dessert cafe instead. We waited in line, picked out our respective desserts, and paid. By the time we sat down, we'd been chatting for maybe 15 minutes - after a few emails and one quick phone call - so I wouldn't say we knew each other very well. Next thing I know, his fork is poised over my cake, and he's saying, "do you mind if I try it?" I hadn't even tasted it yet!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            3. Another blind date (another friend of a friend, actually) spent quite a bit of time after we ordered telling me what he didn't eat: meat (vegetarian by choice), shellfish (slight allergies), and a whole slew of dislikes. I'm somewhat picky, but this guy made me feel like an adventurous eater! Good thing we didn't click otherwise. (In fact, he told our mutual friend, "I think she's smarter than me... I mean, a LOT smarter...")

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: truman

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Your 2. reminded me of a food date where I was the horrible one - I ordered cheesecake, he just had coffee. The waiter brings out the slice, which was as big as my head, and says "two forks?". My response, which I'd usually jokingly say when I'm with my friends, was "no way! If he wanted cheesecake he would have ordered some. Mine. ALL mine!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              The waiter looked bemused. My date looked petrified. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to convince him to try some/convince him that I wasn't a greedy, snarky cow. We actually ended up going on a few more dates, so it can't have been a dealbreaker. But I bet if he ever refers to me, it's followed up with "you know, that girl that doesn't share cake." Oh, the shame.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: ultimatepotato

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Sense of humor, people!! I take it as a bad sign if someone doesn't get my jokes. They are few and far between, but occasionally I do come across men without a sense of humor. You can tell them by the oddly timed chuckles, because they don't know when they're supposed to laugh ...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I'm a big sharer of food, and I actually prefer to do so before I start eating ... but have to admit a poised fork would be too much even for me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. Mine takes place in a local dive bar. I was separated and wanted to go someplace with a bad local band, where I could wear holey jeans, a tshirt and my Yankees hat, have a cold beer and blend into the scene.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              That night there was a bad wreck near the bar that had the road blocked and a man comes in, overdressed for the place (which has now gotten crowded) in a turtleneck and tweed jacket, and stands behind me to order a beer. Because of the crowd, he cannot move and we start talking. He asks what I like. I say I like food and wine. Trying to impress, he starts talking about a recent trip to the Inn at Little Washington. Not to be outdone I tell him that I have been to The Inn several times (my first husband was an original employee of the Inn but didn't share that) and from there it became a friendly food-knowledge-experience competition.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              We were married 10 months later and will celebrate our 12 year anniversary in December and have now been to the Inn four times together....among many other wonderful places.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              10 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Janet from Richmond

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    janet from richmond, i wish you would link that thread about hooch and mooch from a while back. hilarious story and sort of fits this thread's theme. but yours was like a mini-series. LOL

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Janet from Richmond

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        haha, thanks janet. i'd forgotten that they locked the thread -- and had deleted some of the best comments. oh well. i'm still gonna be on the lookout for beachchick and yayadave. ;-)).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          hey alk - I see beachchick around a bit, but haven't seen yayadave much lately, maybe I'm on the wrong boards/threads

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: hill food

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            You do know that you can click on a profile and see all the posts that person has made, right?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: pdxgastro

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              well, sure if you wanna get all stalky 'n' stuff. (I do that sometimes to figure out where the poster is from, or been, if it's vague) otherwise I'm too much of a narcissist to care all that much. it's fun to see people around at random, but I stopped using the 'follow' button years ago.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: Janet from Richmond

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          omg i forgot about hooch&mooch. rotflamao. top five most awesome threads ever.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: soupkitten

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Wow, I remember that thread from when I first starting reposting, was quite something.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. Had been out with this woman several times. She seemed nice enough. One night at the end of a long day I was getting ready to go get a bite she called and wanted to get-together. I changed my plans and met up with her. We went out to a bar had a couple of drinks and ordered some of appetizers. (Which I paid for as I had on all of our previous dates.) Dropped her off at her apartment. She was in a good mood and thanked me for a fun evening. She said she'd call the next day so we could plan our next date. It had been a very nice casual evening. Two days go by and don't hear from her. So I called...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      To say she was cold and angry would be an understatement. She was livid saying that it was the worst date she had ever been on how DARE I 'treat her like that'. That I was a horrible person. Needless to say I was a little taken aback. I apologized in case I had inadvertently caused offense. But I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. She just kept repeating 'You know what you did!'. No I really didn't.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Finally I managed to drag it out of her. I had, in her mind, committed the unforgivable. horrible, inhumane act of eating more than my share of the chicken strips. I didn't bother trying to make amends. It was probably the safest option. Never saw or heard from her again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      6 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Withnail42

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        my goodness, all that over chicken strips? imagine what would happen if someone forgot to take out the trash or something!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Withnail42

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Those must have been some really good chicken strips

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Withnail42

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Sounds like you dodged a bullet, Wn42! Yikes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Withnail42

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              So important to take one's meds with dinner.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: foiegras

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                no those were HER chicken strips. dang it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                meds would not have mattered. yeesh.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                as I always say, better it happens before there are legal documents and shared financial obligations (much less children).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: Withnail42

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                made even more bizarre by the fact that she seemed to have initially enjoyed the evening. very strange. yes i would agree w AMD that u def dodged a bullet.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              3. Back in my callow youth, I met a young lady in the theater group where I hung out. She was lovely, really -- smart, pretty, sharp. I asked her out on a regulation-5-9-weeknight-movie-and-dinner date.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Movie went OK. Then we went to the restaurant. She didn't eat. Or drink. Anything. Only a glass of water. I had already ordered, so I was eating. Alone. She kept saying, "I'm fine, I'm fine."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Never went out again. Heard from another guy she did the same thing with him. Apparently her mom and dad watched her and sib like hawks when eating out so they wouldn't cost too much money so she thought it would impress the guys if she didn't eat at all.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: viperlush

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Oh that is very sad. I hope she got past that later on. If not, based on this thread, there are plenty of guys out there who would love to take her out.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: cleobeach

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If she would ever like to go to France with a Guy who is only fluent in menu.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. I have had some very bad food-related dates, but I'll put a good food related date here :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I will always remember the third dinner that I had with my better half when we first started dating. We had been out to dinner before, and had a blast, ordering all types of wine, great food, but pretty conventional food. I'm more of an equal-opportunity-foodie. For example, no, I've never had sweetbread, but since there are thousands of people around the world that like it, then I would absolutely give it a try. But I didn't think that she was that type of girl, a very grounded, intelligent schoolteacher. So one night at dinner, (we had a few before dinner drinks), I looked at the appetizer menu, "Sauteed baby octopi in ink sauce over spinach fettuchini" (Sorry, I know I probably butchered the spelling), my mouth was watering. I looked over at her, who was studying the menu. I said kind of under my breath, "Hmm, that sauteed octopus looks good", waiting to see what kind of reaction I was going to get, I was fearing anything along the lines of "Eww, thats disgusting". She looks at me in utter relief, and says "Oh thank God, I saw to get that too, but I didn't know if you were that adventerous!" we both had a good laugh and talked about the things we would've eaten had we both just asked eachother in the beginning. From then on, we always went to new restaurants and tried dishes we haven't tried before, even if it seemed a bit odd.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  And thats how I knew I found the woman I love :)

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: bwinter714

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        So cute, and true... you can find your love over food adventures. It says something about how they are about the adventure of travel, life, and the adventurous road that finding love is:)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Brave of both of you, and glad you have a happy ending. With you on that one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: bwinter714

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            see, thats so great! thats when u know u have potential with someone....my husband isnt the most adventurous eater on the planet, but most of the time he will at least try something instead of just saying it "sounds gross". and he loves escargot so there it is...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. I had a boyfriend once who was always trying to be chivalrous and polite, but honestly has NO IDEA how much of a boor he was. One time we were at a Chinese restaurant and we decided to have a pu pu platter. (I know it's not exactly CH-level food, but it can be awfully tasty). You know those strips of beef on a skewer that you cook over the little fire? Well, he ate his beef and then began PICKING HIS TEETH WITH THE SKEWER. I don't even think he realized what he was doing until he saw me involuntarily looking away with disgust. Thank goodness he realized what he was doing, said, "I'm a pig," and put it down. A few months later we were at a family barbecue where they were eating corn on the cob. He and his niece and nephew complained about the corn-in-the-teeth problem and he goes inside and brings out toothpicks for all of them and they all picked their teeth at the table.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            My next story is not so much about bad food dates, but about food weirdness in relationships in general. I left my hometown in the NYC area to attend college in a tiny rural PA town. My boyfriend was originally from the area. He came from a real country background and was a first-generation college student. I knew his family didn't have much money, so I didn't think too much about why he never had a meal plan at the cafeteria and brown-bagged his lunch every day (commuter student) or why he refused to split a pizza with my friends and me when we ordered one, or why he refused to go to any of the special event dinners on campus (like homecoming) and would always meet me afterwards. He also never once took me out to dinner. I just assumed it was a money thing. I remember wanting very badly to treat him to my favorite restaurant for his 21st birthday but I had no car to drive there and I knew he would refuse to drive us if I tried to take him there. I never even asked. It was just instinct.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            One day he said to me that he worried that he wasn't good enough for me. He was just a humble country boy and I was this NY sophisticate. He said to me, "You need things like expensive dinners." I was a starving college student. I wasn't nearly as rich and sophisticated as he assumed. I honestly didn't care at the time that we never went out to dinner. We did lots of other stuff together and it's not as if he never spent money on me. I really didn't get what he was after.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I never did get why whenever my parents visited for the weekend he refused to go out to dinner with us when they took me out. I just assumed he was intimidated by my parents. He was afraid of sounding like a hick (my parents are not snobs at all and liked him, so I wondered what he worried about). He didn't even go to my graduation (I was a semester ahead of him).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Years after we graduated and broke up, he told me the reason why he avoided my graduation. He said he didn't want to feel pressured to go out to dinner with my parents. He said he hated all the other times we pressured him. I asked him, "Why are you so afraid of my parents?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            It turns out that it wasn't my parents he was afraid of. He was afraid of going out to dinner . He said many years ago he had gone out to dinner with his family and felt really sick afterwards. I don't know how "sick" he was. I don't know if he truly had food poisoning. He said ever subsequent time he tried to eat at a restaurant he "got sick". He pretty much decided he would never eat a meal not home-cooked again (at least he could cook).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I could see what he meant about not being right for me. I didn't mind not eating out in college, but I think as an adult I REALLY would have minded. I don't demand expensive dinners all of the time, but I might appreciate going out at least on my birthday!


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I call myself a foodie, but plenty of CHs can't stand the likes of me becauseI don't like any seafood. My husband loves seafood. He can't eat red meat. He claims it makes him sick. He also is lactose intolerant and hates most cheeses (and will only eat it in dishes like pizza or lasagne). I love cheese. I love beef and pork and lamb.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Somehow we make it work. I cook a lot of chicken and turkey. He has learned to like duck too. Sometimes I'll make us separate meals where I make fish for him and steak/pork/lamb for me. He used to be a bit afraid of exotic cuisines and hole-in-the-wall places. He is WAY more adventurous than he used to be.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            All's well that ends well!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Avalondaughter

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              There is a Thai restaurant near where my club meets that we like to go to. One member said she always gets sick there. Every time. None of us has ever gotten sick. So we think it'