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July 4 Barbecue Epic Fail - Ribs

I had a nice little 4th of July cookout this weekend, just some family and friends.

One of my favorite things to make on the grill is pork ribs. I went to a good meat store and asked the butcher to saw a huge slab of ribs in half lengthwise. This makes smaller ribs, easy to eat. I like them this way.

The morning of the barbecue I cooked the ribs in the oven in water and whole peppercorns for about an hour. This makes them good and tender.

Chilled them for about two hours to get the meat good and ready for grilling, then slathered them in red Ah So Sauce, which makes them pinkish and taste like Chinese restaurant spare ribs. Since many people are unfamiliar with Ah So sauce it is treat to have ribs this way, and I was looking forwarded to serving my guests something they may not have had before.

I had two grills going, one gas, one charcoal. My husband came into the kitchen and said the charcoal was ready. I told him I would cook the ribs on t he grill, but he insisted. He was having fun drinking some Old Speckled Hen beer and you know boys with fire....

So I said ok but don't cook them long they are pretty much precooked...

Here are the before and after pictures... as Lucy Ricardo once said, "Charcoal is good for your teeth..."

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  1. Hang his head in shame.

    1. Totally worth the tragedy considering the ammunition you now have against him.

      1. You know, the worst part of this scenario is he denied at the time there was anything wrong with them.

        You are right. I have plenty of ammunition for another time when I need it. And from now on I am Grill Girl, end of story! ;-)

        4 Replies
        1. re: TrishUntrapped

          you should cut the guy some slack. We've all had our moments. At least he enjoyed his OSH (hopefully).
          BTW, what is the object in the lower right hand portion of the plate with the "well-done" ribs?

          1. re: TroyTempest

            He enjoyed his Old Speckled Hen indeed...

            That object is a fatty part of a rib, upside down, char on the bottom.

            1. re: TrishUntrapped

              Oh my goodness! Any type of sauce should only be added in the last five minutes of cooking. Looks like he added it an hour and five minutes earlier :=( Soooo sad, especially since the meat wasn't cheap!!

              1. re: pilotgirl210

                The ribs were pre-cooked in the oven in water and peppercorns. The sauce was brushed on but not cooked until the ribs went on the grill. Although the end results look they were cooking on the grill for hours, sadly it was only minutes. The grill was too hot and I think that was the main problem.

        2. Sorry to see that. I'm guessin' he is pretty hungover today? :-)

          1. as a man..and a fairly decent griller...i apologize on behalf of men everywhere...

            u should take away his grilling tools,and send him back to grill school for some makeup lessons...

            1. Is charcoal in some way really good for teeth?

              1. You should file papers straightway........Do not delay!!!

                1. good lord.. those poor ribs.

                  1. That's terrible. His grilling privileges should be downgraded to tofu hot dogs and garden burgers. Nobody cares if those things are converted to charcoal. :-)

                    Using the lid to control flare-ups is the key. The whole grilling over flames is great for movies and news reels.

                    2 Replies
                    1. re: dave_c

                      Hey, I'd eat 10 gardenburgers over 1 of those ribs!

                    2. Your post rang some bells and caused me to pull out my old party notes. They were pretty hilarious and I will share them so you don't feel alone. BTW, my husband doesn't even drink !

                      year 1 - "do NOT have burgers any more - jeff incapable of cooking properly and will not take advice"
                      year 2 - "as usual, hamburgers were awful, try to avoid next year, try brats instead"
                      year 3 - "do not pre-cook brats. Would have been a good idea except for jeff burning them."
                      year 4 - no mention of the food, but an ominous "jeff is an %$&*$"
                      year 5 - we had Epicurious "food-proof chicken" which apparently is.


                      5 Replies
                        1. re: Glencora

                          Whoopsy. "Fool-proof", that is.

                          1. re: danna

                            "Food-proof" would have been all those dishes that came *before* the chicken. ;)

                          1. re: danna

                            I, too, keep notes about previous parties.

                            Happily, I have not yet reached the pinnacle of your Year 4, but it made me laugh.

                          2. I enlisted male help for my big green egg because I was busy in the kitchen, someone who has helped before. I asked if he remembered how to use the chimmney starter and just to be sure I said put 2 pieces of newspaper in the bottom and set them on fire. 30 minutes later the grill was not coming up to temp so I opened up the bottom damper thinking it would be full of ashes and needed to be cleaned out but, guess what? There were 2 pieces of newspaper shoved in the bottom damper, not the bottom of the chimmney starter. Dinner was an hour late, 30 minutes to laugh at him and 30 minutes to start the grill.

                            1. This thread is too funny!!! I read my husband the posts. He only agrees with Troy Tempest (!!!!)

                              To atone for his sins, he ate some of the (surprise) leftover ribs tonight for dinner and said he will bring some to work tomorrow for lunch and continue eating them till they're gone.

                              Being a cheap Yankee he's not one to waste food.... Burn it perhaps, but not waste it.

                              1 Reply
                              1. re: TrishUntrapped

                                Being a cheap Texan, that's exactly what i'd do too. ( Eat the ribs even though they were burned., ha!)

                              2. You are not the only one. On the fourth, the whole neighborhood smelled of delicious roasting meat from around eleven until, oh, five-ish. It was around five that the smell of char blanketed the air, so strongly that I just knew someone was going to have their tongs taken away.

                                The last time my boyfriend cooked steak (I like mine rare), he came back into the apartment, empty-handed, helped himself to another beer, and leaned against the counter to watch me cook. "Where are the steaks?" I asked in alarm. He said they weren't done. I yelled at him until he leisurely strolled out of the back door to 'check on them and put your mind at ease'. He came back with a plate of well-done steaks, apologizing, and blaming the grill.

                                That damn grill, he said.

                                3 Replies
                                1. re: onceadaylily

                                  "that damn grill"

                                  I love that. That's the weird thing about my husband's meat destroying tendencies. He HATES any steak or burger cooked beyond rare and will send it back in a restaurant.

                                  1. re: danna

                                    "He HATES any steak or burger cooked beyond rare and will send it back in a restaurant."

                                    I've noticed that some restaurants will not even cook a burger short of well done because of the fear of illness. I order my burgers medium and have been told at some establishments that they must be cooked well done.

                                    1. re: Sailing77

                                      oh, you don't have to tell me! There is actually a law and SC and NC that you can't get a burger rare unless the restaurant grinds their burger in-house. (this law is about to change in NC, i hear) We simply don't order burgers in places that won't cook them rare.

                                2. Actually, the fail started with the oven braise...

                                  1 Reply
                                  1. re: ricepad

                                    Ouch ricepad! Are you sure you aren't my husband...

                                  2. Usually men are really good at grilling. Having said that I tossed my grill out with the trash a month or two ago. Too hot, too smoky and didn’t want to get sweaty running out there to cook in summer. That’s how I am.

                                    Was there any non-burnt meat on the ribs?

                                    2 Replies
                                    1. re: FireFlyFiftyFive

                                      I love having a grill in the summer. It's not been too hot or too smoky and it's the downright opposite of sweaty compared to cooking inside this time of year.
                                      Maybe you should ask a girl how to do it? ;)

                                      1. re: rabaja

                                        In flagrant disregard of the Rules of Barbecue, the chick does all the grilling at our house, too.

                                        He keeps the glasses filled and the conversation flowing.

                                    2. Rib abuse, pure and simple. I suppose you leave them locked in a hot car while you run into the drugstore, also?

                                      I've notified the PPS (Pork Protective Services). Expect a visit and inspection. Tsk.