The recipes linked above are about as "fool-proof" as your likely to get. But, if you need 'em, here's a few more:
No, my wife is diabetic so I use a sugar free formula that has not been reduced to a "recipe" per se. I usually just assemble the ingredients by feel (funnel cakes are that easy) and don't bother measuring. Funnel cakes are a Pennsylvania Dutch confection that our family has made for more years than I can remember. Here's an approximation of what I might typically use:
1 egg, 1 cup whole milk, 1/4 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp baking powder, 3 Tbsp Splenda, about 7 ounces (approx. 1 1/2 cups) of flour or just enough flour to make a thin batter.
The flour is the control for how thick the batter becomes so start low and add as you need to achieve the desired consistency. Try not to over mix as you don't want to develop a lot of gluten in the batter.
Beat the eggs (80 strokes) add milk and salt; beat a few more strokes and set aside.
Blend dry ingredients, then add the liquid ingredients to the dry and stir to make a smooth batter. The batter should be slightly thicker than a pancake batter but not as thick as a waffle batter.
I like to let the batter rest for an hour or so but it can be used immediately if you prefer.
Pipe into hot oil as outlined in all the other recipes listed here. Be sure to use cooking tongs or similar instrument for turning to avoid splashing oil.
Funnel Cake recipes in the Google Newspaper archive
Funnel Cake recipe from Heloise
Funnel Cakes not just festival fare (with recipe
Recipe Collectors Will Like Pennsylvania Dutch Treats (with Funnel Cake recipe
Put the 'fun' in funnel cakes
Funnel Cakes: Pouring it on!
Hearty funnel cakes have a German origin
Three Popular recipes for Funnel Cakes
They're common in our house. My wife craves them periodically (she grew up with them as a favorite treat at the local fair) and I make them every chance I get. She's diabetic so I make them without sugar but if you don't need a recipe for that then use one of the more common batter recipes.
Heat about one or two inches of oil in a large pan (I use a large cast iron skillet) and prepare a batter:
http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1813,148189-252197,00.html (just one of many recipes).
When the oil reaches 350 degrees, pour the batter through a funnel and while the batter is moving through the funnel spout you can slowly move the funnel in a relative circular motion to distribute the batter in the oil. It's a two handed job and takes a bit of practice to get the coordination necessary to make them turn out like those you see at the amusement park. Cook until golden brown on bottom, flip over using two wooden spoons, dowels, chop sticks, etc. and brown other side.
Remove (carefully) with slotted spoon onto paper (I use brown paper bags) and drain. Sprinkle with powdered sugar.
Here's the whole banana:
CAUTION: The process of preparing these funnel cakes is not childs play, it is very serious and potentially dangerous. Using spatter shields and other safety devices is recommended to prevent burns and DON'T LET THE KIDS WATCH ..... make them stay out of the kitchen and protect yourself against grease fires.