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May 22, 2011 07:28 PM

Can't comment on "kid friendly"?


Someone asked on the Manhattan board where would be an appropriate "upscale Italian restaurant" to take a 10 month old baby for a special occasion.

I replied that I don't think it's appropriate to take a 10 month old to an "upscale Italian restaurant", and my comment was immediately deleted.

An other poster suggested, seriously, Lincoln. That post is allowed? Taking an infant to Lincoln? Because Lincoln is "kid friendly"?

I know "kid friendly" is like the third rail of discussions, but if some people are going to recommend taking infants to places like Per Se for dinner, at what point am I allowed to say that that is really not appropriate in my opinion?

If mods are going to delete posts that places are not appropriate, I think they should make a rule that there be absolutely no threads about "kid friendliness" of restaurants. You shouldn't ban one side of opinions.

It's like if I asked which upscale high-end restaurants would be appropriate for me to wear a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. One poster recommends Per Se to me. Another says that that dress isn't appropriate for upscale places, and that post gets deleted.

  1. If I may. I read your post before it was deleted (and for what it's worth, I agree with you). But the question was "where should I go" not "should I go." So your response was off-topic, and I'm pretty sure that's why it went bye-bye.

    15 Replies
    1. re: small h

      I think "nowhere" is an approriate and honest reply.

      Sometimes people make requests that are unreasonable or borderline offensive. A 10 month old in an upscale restaurant in Manhattan is one of them. Maybe this person doesn't know any better. I don't think it's wrong to have people chime in that this is not a good idea. And I don't think that is off-topic, since we are a community of people offering advice and opinions on dining.

      But just my opinion.

      1. re: johnblacksox

        It's honest. It's not appropriate, though. Here's a hypothetical conversation that may illustrate this more clearly:

        johnblacksox: Where should I go for a great hamburger?
        small h: Nowhere. Meat is disgusting. You shouldn't be eating hamburgers at all.

        That is my actual honest opinion. But if I responded to you that way, I'd expect to be (rightfully) deleted.

      2. re: small h

        Nope - not just off topic. I've had my orignal post deleted when I started a topic complaining about a $350 tasting dinner ruined by screaming uncontrolled children in an environment they didn't belong in. CH finds the topic too touchy to be posted in any forum.

        1. re: FoodChic

          With the one caveat added by the Chow Team at the start of this thread I think you can see that your assertion that "...CH finds the topic too touchy to be posted in any forum" is not accurate.

          1. re: Servorg

            Yeah, they deleted me probably because I don't think kids belong in upscale restaurants, in bars, in casino's, at movies after 8 p.m, or in movies that are rated R.

              1. re: Servorg

                I think kids can eat out...just not a high end restaurants.

                1. re: FoodChic

                  "Bad" behavior comes in all age does "good." At least the "kids" don't get drunk and scream obscenities at one another at the top of their lungs...

                  1. re: Servorg

                    Um...they do all of that without being drunk.

                    1. re: FoodChic

                      But someone else is totally responsible for that behavior (or lack of doing something about it). What excuse do the "older" children have?

                      1. re: Servorg

                        Yes, and those people shouldn't be bringing their children in the first place! Restaurants will kick out poor mannered adults, but will rarely say anything to tell people to control their children - they should be kicked out too!

                        1. re: FoodChic

                          Your argument is actually with the idea that there are people who shouldn't be parents. And kicking out adults from retail businesses (restaurants or any other type) who refuse to curb their own bad behavior, or lack the empathy to teach good behavior to their children and make other adults suffer the consequences, is the issue. Children need boundaries. But lets not blame them for the lack of "education" by their parents to provide those boundaries to them.

                          1. re: Servorg

                            No, my arguement is that no children should ever go to upscale restaurants, in bars, in casino's, at movies after 8 p.m, or in movies that are rated R. Period.

              2. re: FoodChic

                That's not it; I counted at least a dozen people on this thread who said that kids don't belong in nice restaurants:

                The mods must just have it in for you personally. ;-)

        2. i agree with you...why do people insist on bringing children everywhere?
          i have a 3 yo and we didnt bring her to every dinner we had..
          since when it has it become ok to inflict a possible screaming/crying baby on everyone?

          like the parents who got thrown off the plane because their child wouldnt stop screaming
          dont the other people have the right to a nice quiet dinner?

          and yes i thought CH was supposed to be for ALL opinions...unless outright offensive good debate is a good thing

          2 Replies
          1. re: srsone

            I agree 100%, but I acknowledge that people have "very strong" opinions one way or the other. Some parents believe that their infants should be able to go anywhere at any time.

            I think CH doesn't want huge arguments about it, which I can understand, but I think it's wrong to delete only the opinions like yours and mine, and allow opinions that it's a great idea to bring an infant to "dine" at Lincoln. That is insane to me.

            I'd prefer they just banned all topics about "kid friendliness", since they obviously don't want discussion about it.

            1. re: johnblacksox

              The difference between commenting as you did on a local board such as Manhattan, or on a topical board such as Not About Food is why the response you gave was off topic. Local boards are for suggestions about where to find the best food possible for a given price range. They aren't there to foster debate on the rightness or wrongness of social issues such as parents taking their children into "high end" dining establishments. If you want to take that sort of topic up just do it on NAF.

          2. There's a difference between posting from experience that a given restaurant is not welcoming to small children (no high chairs, etc) and simply shooting down suggestions of high end restaurants in general as being inappropriate to children. The latter fosters the endless 'children do/do not belong in nice restaurants arguments that we are trying to stave off.

            1 Reply
            1. re: The Chowhound Team

              i dont think children should banned from everywhere either...
              just that people should be responsible for them...
              i have been places that people dont seem to care that their child is screaming their little heads off and not doing anything about it also...

              we have brought our daughter to nice places and if she didnt seem to be behaving we have taken her outside until she either calmed down or we were done and left...
              people just dont seem to think that anybody else around them matters anymore...
              i cant speak for the post of johnblacksox that got deleted..(didnt read it) but is asking/offering the opinion of responsible parenting and dining going together a bad thing?

              i have yet to find a restaurant that doesnt have a high chair/booster seat...or is "kid unfriendly"
              but in the post did the op report his post?
              or did u just decide it didnt fit the thread?
              i am not against people offering opinions in a post ...unless they are outright mean or nasty about it...

            2. Of course you can comment on "kid friendly." If you want to talk about whether a particular restaurant is kid-friendly, then those comments are appropriate on a local board. If you want to talk about whether it's appropriate to bring kids to restaurants in general, you can participate in any of the innumerable threads on that topic on Not About Food.

              The problem is when somebody tries to hijack a thread about local restaurants with a discussion about a broader issue - eg, the decline of dress codes or whether kids should be taken to fine-dining establishments. Those posts are rightfully deleted. Don't take it personally.

              1. Folks, since this thread is rapidly becoming a discussion of kids in restaurants, rather than a discussion about Chowhound rules, we're going to lock it now. This isn't the right place to have that conversation, either.