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14 horribly unappetizing vintage food ideas

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This is from a odd humor website, generally mid-century industrial food products/concepts like "sack o' sauce in a can o' meat" (seriously):

http://guyism.com/humor/14-horribly-u...

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  1. I LOVE vintage ads, they are just so cool. My personal favourites are the pharmaceuticals, but these are awesome too. They mayonnaise cake is not such a weird one though, I have a recipe for it somewhere and it just works as an egg substitute (for those pesky moments you have mayo, but no eggs?). The tapeworms crack me up, but actually are still available in some parts of the world. Definitely have issues with the sack o' sauce in a can o' meat, I have no idea what would happen if I threw my 6 year old a prune party but I can express a mild surprise that the meat briefcase is not more popular. Ah, they are brilliant ads.

    1. Oh man, Spam & Limas.........I didn't go any further.

      2 Replies
      1. re: HillJ

        That's the one that did it for me, too.

        1. re: HillJ

          Anyone who would desecrate something as wonderful as Spam with something as despicable as limas....well, definitely a hanging offense!

        2. Awesome! It reminds me of the 1974 Weight Watchers recipe cards:

          http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html

          If anyone's interested in food advertising through the years, Taschen Publishing's 'All American Ads of the...' series of books is most excellent.

          2 Replies
          1. re: beachmouse

            I believe this is the book y'all are looking for. I saw it at Browseabout Books in Rehoboth Beach DE a few years back -- started looking through it and nearly lost my lunch.

            http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-Mackere...

            1. re: beachmouse

              I love love love the Weight Watchers cards!
              But they do make me want to go brush my teeth. And rinse. And rinse again.

            2. and James Lilek's Gallery of Regrettable Food:

              http://www.lileks.com/institute/galle...

              Mayonnaise cake I understand -- wartime recipe when eggs and butter were rationed -- and it's pretty darned tasty, and doesn't taste of mayo at all.

              But a Sack o' Sauce in a Can o' Meat? How drunk did those marketing people have to be to think THAT could be appetizing or catchy?

              Hey, I'll bet that 1970's Weight Watchers was pretty successful...those cards made me lose my appetite completely...!

              2 Replies
              1. re: sunshine842

                Sack o' Sauce in a Can o' Meat doesn't sound much worse than tamales in a can (do they still sell those?).

                1. re: sunshine842

                  Yeah, this page is a direct rip-off of Lileks, who's been doing this vintage food send-up schtick (with much wittier commentary) for years.

                2. high hat tuna souffle - hrrrrp. "with flavor only yeast can give" !!!

                  3 Replies
                  1. re: mariacarmen

                    So the tuna's got a yeast infection, then?

                    1. re: Tripeler

                      ewwwww....I didn't think it could get worse, but yet there it went....

                      1. re: Tripeler

                        niiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

                    2. I actually read through the HIgh Hat Tuna Souffle recipe. I was just gob smacked!

                      1. I can't imagine why tapeworms fell out of favor as a diet plan. After all they were sanitized, jarred, and were easy to swallow. I'd be in line for a jar of those.

                        3 Replies
                        1. re: al b. darned

                          They're not terribly easy to "harvest."

                          1. re: c oliver

                            Didja miss the tongue firmly planted in cheek?

                            1. re: al b. darned

                              Nope :) Me too!

                        2. Just a warning to any who may have actually read the thread before clicking on the link; some of the ads and sidebars on this page may not be safe for work...

                          1 Reply
                          1. re: Lixer

                            that probably explains why our spam filter blocked the site as "adult content!" I'll have to check it from home. :)

                          2. I want that meat toolkit! I could just see whipping that out at a picnic.

                            1. Lime Jello in a can of Pineapple, what could be better?
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...

                              Tuna Gelatin Salad made with canned milk. Yum!
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...

                              Flesh color Jello! It's Alive! Oh, it's just tomato soup, mayonnaise and jello, nevermind.
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...

                              Hot Dogs surrounding Parsley Potatoes. You have to be real hungry.
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...

                              SPAM Peach Fiesta Cups. I'm glad they can't e-mail this SPAM!
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...

                              Fiesta Peach SPAM Bake. Words fail me.
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...
                              http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...

                              1 Reply
                              1. re: Antilope

                                Is it a ham or is it a mousse? It's a Ham Mousse! That's cold. Yep it's cold.

                                http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...

                                http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...

                                Ice Cream in every color of the rainbow. Some colors should not be used.
                                http://gogd.tjs-labs.com/show-picture...

                                ...

                              2. Ok, two vintage recipes that make me want to take a turpentine bath, complete with wire brush;
                                Twinkie "salad", e.g. whole twinkies suspended in Jello.
                                Lamb Hollywood, which is basically mac and cheese with ground lamb and little balls of some nasty liverwurst mixture.

                                2 Replies
                                1. re: mamachef

                                  Twinkies? In Jello? Oh geez.

                                  And then I was following you on mac and cheese with ground lamb...but the "little balls of some nasty liverwurst mixture" just left me standing in the middle of the road, mouth agape, watching that description fade into the horizon.

                                  1. re: sunshine842

                                    My husband said that when I finished reading the description my face looked just like the one in the Klimt painting, "The Scream."

                                2. they all look bleh. Wonder if the 20c coupon is still good for pork???

                                  1. "Meat should never, EVER be spreadable"? I guess this dude hasn't heard of pate. I admit that if I were all alone, in a dark room, I would not be above spreading some of that weird Spam spread on a cracker with some of the tube cheese.

                                    The tuna souffle sounded like a fun retro dish, until I looked at the ingredients. Did everything in the 50s have shortening and pimiento?

                                    What are some current food products that future generations will scoff at? I nominate those pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the frozen food section.

                                    1 Reply
                                    1. re: LaPomme

                                      Hoorah on that, and you're right; my kids ARE the next generation, and they find even the concept vile, not to mention lazy beyond repair.