Sharing two tasting menus?

[siman813]

I am going to Le Bernadin with my brother and got the idea of sharing our food after reading someone's review in which the diners ordered two different tasting menus to share between them. I would really like to do this but was wondering if this goes against fine dining etiquette?

[Bill Hunt]

We often do chefs' tasting menus, and often order slightly different ones.

As an example, we dine at Chef Mavor's in Honolulu, HI, and I often do the full 14-course menu, while my wife will settle on, say the 9-course menu. We usually do the sommelier's wine pairings, and as they offer two levels for some dishes, will do both the "regular," and the "reserve."

We share tastes, and also the wines, as they are often different, depending on the dishes.

Is this acceptable? I cannot say, but we do it. As we have been married for almost 41 years, any Board of Health should be prepared to look the other way. We do our sharing very discretely, and most never know that it has happened. Same for the wines, though we often end up with about 14 glasses on the table, since we keep tastes, for other courses. Many restaurants will ONLY seat the two of us at large 4-tops, as they know that we WILL have many wine glasses, during the course of our meals. That is not a bad thing.

Do not know what is the accepted norm, but that is what we do, and often.

Hunt

[cocktailhour]

We have shared tasting menus frequently, with nary a problem. Etiquette wise, I don't really care if people at other tables raise their eyebrows.

At the French Laundry, two of the people in our party shared the regular and veg tasting menus by sharing bites. there were so many dishes/tastes that it was overwhelming. that would be the only reason I would hesitate. it is hard to appreciate 18 different dishes for some.

[lemons]

Come to think of it, I'm thinking that really proper ettiquette, the sort of thing that those of us who remember, oh, say, the Kennedy Administration, drew up its guidelines before the appearance of the tasting menu, so it's pretty safe. I would, however, ask for two extra small plates for sharing tastes. Frankly, most places liike Bernardin, where I've been, are so happy and proud that people are enjoying their food that it's the rare server that has Attitude.

And as I age, I'm more and more apt to stop on my way out if I get one of those dudes and complain. Sometimes, my discussion even begins, "I stiffed my waiter, and I want to tell you why."

But I digress. As I often do.

[Bill Hunt]

In my limited experiences with Le Bernidine, there have been zero problems, and zero attitudes. We never ask for split courses, and just discretely share. Same for most restaurants, of that status.

In some cases (Restaurant Daniel), extra, small plates were actually provided, without a request. Nice touch!

I have also had some restaurants split the sommelier's tasting, just because they wanted us to share, and to enjoy. Again, nice touch, though not asked for.

Hunt

[RichWhite]

totally cool. youget to enjoy twice as much. for those prices as long as your have proper etiquette, go for it.

[lemons]

We've often done it; if I prefer one course of my husband's menu and he prefers mine, it's very easy to say to the food runner, "He'll have the frog legs; I'm going to take the tripe."

[letsindulge]

The only problem I see is if you're having the wine pairings that are matched to your individual tasting menus.

[Bill Hunt]

This has never posed a problem to us, but then we normally have many glasses of wine on the table, and experiment between the chosen wines and the courses.

Two months ago, we did a 14-course and a 9-course tasting menu, and then I did the "reserve" paring, so we had about 20 glasses, at any one time, on the table, and sampled each, with each course. No problem, as that restaurant always seats us at a 4-top, and a large one, at that. They know how many glasses we are likely to have going, for a meal. Others have the notes, and do the same.

Hunt

[babette feasts]

On the other hand, the dishes are made to be eaten as a whole.

I think when you share dishes that are small to begin with and each person only gets two bites of any one thing, you don't really get a chance to experience the dish.

[Harters]

Where I am, restaurants almost invariably say the tasting menu must be taken by the whole table.

[HoosierFoodie]

I wouldn't ask to split a tasting menu. If you are talking about each ordering a different tasting menu, and if they'll do two for the table (as noted some restaurants want the whole table ordering off the same tasting menu) whynwould they care ifnyou shared with your fellow diner? Do it all the time.

[odkaty]

My husband and I always share, we even coordinate which dishes to order. We've never had a problem, and we don't split plates, ever. We either reach (prefer to sit side by side than across a wide expanse of table) or pass plates. I've never had a waiter even raise an eyebrow.

Instead, we're regularly asked for feedback ... perhaps we look like we're really enjoying the experience?

[Bill Hunt]

I am the same, though we usually prefer to sit across for each other, just because of all of the wine glasses. We are discrete, and seldom ask for any split plates, especially with tasting menus.

So far, so good.

Hunt

[Miss Needle]

Depends on the place. Some places will allow it and some won't. Many restaurants that have tasting menus stipulate that everybody at the table has to participate. I can understand the perspective from the places that won't allow it because the timing of the items can be quite tricky. It could also be potentially awkward if one person has a few more courses than the other person.

ETA: And most high-end places probably won't split tasting courses as they're very small to begin with. But nothing stands in the way of you guys trading plates or reaching over (unless the restaurant stipulates that the entire table has to order one tasting menu).

[Bill Hunt]

When a tasting menu is only allowed for the entire table, I agree completely. In many cases, there are options, that can yield variations - though not always.

As you note, it depends on the restaurant, and on how they define a tasting menu.

Hunt

[Kajikit]

If you're sharing it directly off your own plate and not demanding that the restaurant halve each portion for you, I don't see how they could stop you! If I had the opportunity to go to a place like that I'd demand that DH choose an entirely different menu to me so that we could split them and taste more of their delicacies!

[small h]

I'm not big on tasting menus, but I've certainly traded bites with my dining companions at Le Bernardin, Per Se, Toqueville and elsewhere. I think the only way this would be a problem is if you ask the restaurant to split every plate.

[Bill Hunt]

Interesting, and maybe relevant. We have never requested a split plate, but just pass tastes between ourselves.

We have done so at Le Bernadin, Per Se, French Laundry, Restaurant Daniel, Chef Mavro's, La Mer, La Gavroche, Gordon Ramsay's at Claridges, Galvins and many others. So far, no problem, and the same for wine pairings. The closest to "split plates," that we have come is asking for an extra soup spoon, for those courses. All have been glad to accommodate us in that minor request.

With but a few exceptions, and usually with apps., we never ask for any split plates, and especially with tasting menus.

Hunt

[small h]

Wait, you managed to get into Per Se? What changed since you wrote this:

http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/7291...

that allowed you to finally make a reservation? The restaurant is no less popular than it was in August of 2010.

[Bill Hunt]

December 2010.

Also managed Restaurant Daniel, for an early seating.

Hunt

[small h]

Excellent! I hope you enjoyed both. Daniel's on my after-I-hit-the-lottery list (which is very long).

[Bill Hunt]

Both were excellent.

We were booked to Sydney, but had to cancel at the last moment. My wife needed a few miles to maintain her 1K status, so we flew to SFO, and then to JFK. It was a rather quick trip, and had many funky elements for a travel board, but the dining (after the first night, which was a total disaster, but we did not expect much) was sublime!

One little touch by Restaurant Daniel just flat blew me completely away. I found a tiny bit of crab shell in a dish (two tasting menus), and whispered to the server, that the chef on that station might want to check. We are both from the New Orleans Area, so a hint of crab shell is something that we grew up with. I just wanted to warn the service captain, so she could mention it to the kitchen. Some other diners might not be as easy to deal with, or so accepting of a tiny bit of shell. She hurried away. We finished those dishes, and found zero additional shells. When the service captain came back, she had a wonderful risotto dish, plus a wine to go with it. She then produced a black truffle about the size of a baseball, and shaved at least 1/8 on each dish. Then the sommelier arrived with a wine, to go with that. I protested. The service captain "shushed" me, and said "we want everything to be 100% for all of our patrons, and you saved us having to apologize, and that could well save our night." That floored both of us, and both the dish and the wine were wonderful. It was not what I expected, or really even wanted, but I could see her point. They took their restaurant experience very seriously. Just this one act, one dish and one additional wine selection would have made up for ANY issues of our first night's meal, short of death.

Per Se was at that level, but we did not find any crab shells.... [Grin], just great food, service and wines. Upon much reflection, I still might give the nod to the French Laundry, but that was a special event, and evening, so a comparison is probably not fair.

I have been fortunate to do many Michelin starred restaurants abroad, and two with three stars. I have to admit that both Per Se and Restaurant Daniel bested all of those.

For us, they were worth every $, and provided lasting memories. Wish that I could do that all the time, but then maybe I would become horribly jaded.

Hunt

[escondido123]

Ah yes, the danger of becoming horribly jaded. Something we all have to battle against.

[Bill Hunt]

My wife often comments that it's too late for me, but I am still hoping. I just entered a 12-step jaded program, but it does not seem to be helping. Maybe by step-3?

Hunt

[escondido123]

Now that I can't afford to go out to restaurants that serve expensive tasting menus, I find the risk of being jaded has begun to fade. I regret not going to French Laundry when I could have afforded it.

[Bill Hunt]

Only my opinion, but for me, it was worth the $, and having to work for the reservation. At least I will have the memories, and I only hope that will be enough.

Hunt

[Delucacheesemonger]

Whenever at the French Laundry l revel in the ability to have people get either the tasting or the vegetable tasting. They have always okayed it. One of the reasons l return.