HOME > Chowhound > Not About Food >


Cooking with your significant other.

How many of you CH share the same passion and knowledge of food with your partners? Do you cook, shop and clean with them on an equal basis?

  1. Click to Upload a photo (10 MB limit)
  1. We look at the menu together when we order in.

    2 Replies
      1. re: beevod

        we do the same thing, eating in or out! we pick 2 entrees that we both really want to try, and then a few appetizers to share.

      2. My wife is a good cook (and a great baker) but I'm definately more adverterous when it comes to cooking. Generally, we split cooking duties during the week, but we certainly enjoy cooking together and sit down and plan our menus for the week (nothing elaborate).

        1. I've been blessed with a BF that loves to cook and does it well. He has also taught me to appreciate good food and to be mindful of what I cook and what I put into my body. While my friends and family find it odd, I love that he buys me knives as gifts.

          1 Reply
          1. re: pitagirl

            I love that my boyfriend gets me kitchen items like that, too, and vice versa. My friends thought it was weird when I got him a new kitchen scale one year, but it's what he wanted and he still talks about it on a weekly basis (it was multiple times a day for the first several months, lol). What can I say? Food specifics are important to us.

          2. We share a deep interest in food and eating, but he can't cook at all and has very little interest in learning. The same could be said about my cleaning skills (and he's a neat freak) so cleanup is his department.

            1. Mr. gator has absolutely no interest in cooking or food at all for that matter. All shopping, food prep and decision making as far as what and where we'll eat is all me. All he specifies is what time he'll be home for dinner and if he is full from a late lunch or not.
              I don't have any real complaints, it's nice to have so much freedom. But it would be nice to hear something about a meal I made besides "this is good".

              2 Replies
              1. re: alliegator

                I've been in two adult relationships the past 30 years with woman that eat for substance. I’m thinking it’s a pattern that I attract these types of people. It’s good, is about all I hear too. My grown children are like me and are passionate about food so cooking for them is a lot of fun.

                1. re: Woodfireguy

                  That's great that your love of food is something you can share with your kids!
                  One thing I really like about being a decent cook is that the mr. is good at his job, a great athlete (on a rec. level), etc...
                  But cooking is all mine. Kinda brings some good balance to the relationship :)-

              2. I do about 90% of the cooking in the relationship. I do try to involve her in the cooking, mostly so we can chat while I work, but I'm also hoping to train her and pass along some of my own joy for cooking. When she's helping me out, I call her Sous.

                1. I love to cook and plan for a special occasion and my wife and I split the menu. She usually does the dessert course particularly if it includes a pie. However, we cannot cook in the kitchen at the same time, it would usually end in an argument.

                  1. My partner and I are the perfect couple.

                    I love to cook and bake, sit around reading cookbooks and cooking magazines, and I cook about 95% of our dinners throughout the year.

                    My partner is the wine guy. He drinks and breathes wine and knows all about the stuff, while I just sit by and drink.

                    I do a lot of the shopping but he comes with me when I need him to. He is also more than willing to go on his own when I can not or do not want to. I have shopping down to a science; he gets distracted by pretty labels and free samples.

                    We both love food, dining out and planning vacations around restaurants, outdoor markets, etc.

                    I do the dishes and clean the kitchen: I'm very protective of it. He cleans off the table, puts food, linens, etc., away and takes the trash down to the trash chute the at the end of the hallway.

                    Like I said, we are the perfect couple. :)

                    16 Replies
                      1. re: ttoommyy

                        That sounds a lot like us - the main difference being that if we tried to cook together, we'd probably kill each other - so I wouldn't call us the perfect couple.

                        1. re: ursy_ten

                          Of course I was using the term "perfect" with tongue planted firmly in cheek. God knows we are far from perfect, but after 17 years we have worked it out to as perfect as it can be. And yes, if we are ever in the kitchen together, the knives have to be hidden (which makes it difficult to do prep work.) [:)]

                          One other thing I forgot to mention in my initial post... my partner is actually the one who inspired me to "step up my game" in the kitchen and look beyond the meals I was comfortable with preparing. He also got me to explore true Italian cooking and not just the Italian-American dishes I grew up with.

                          1. re: ttoommyy

                            Oh sorry, it wasn't a dig at you or anything. My "so I wouldn't call us the perfect couple" was more a product of the fact that I was quite annoyed at him at the moment I wrote that reply than anything else :)

                            1. re: ursy_ten

                              Didn't take it as a dig, but thanks anyway. :)

                              1. re: ttoommyy

                                "I do a lot of the shopping but he comes with me when I need him to. He is also more than willing to go on his own when I can not or do not want to. I have shopping down to a science; he gets distracted by pretty labels and free samples."

                                Oh, yeah. I make my shopping lists in precise order, not only listing, say, the produce first, but the bell peppers before the cilantro, but after the cauliflower and tomatoes, because that's how the bins are laid out. He will just wander around, calling out, "Honey, come look at this! No, come look! It'll just take a minute!" right up until he vanishes. I've tried to do the divide and conquer with the shopping list, but it never works out on his end.

                                Today, I reminded him that he needed shaving cream, and he went off to get it. I found him fifteen minutes later, holding (only) a jar of taramosalata. "We should try this," he said.

                                He rarely comes into the kitchen to cook with me, but he is a fantastic *eater*. If I want to make him happy when he asks what's for dinner, I just say, "Are you ready to try something new?" He does, however, carry his share by finding new restaurants for us to try.

                                1. re: onceadaylily

                                  OK, the vision of him standing with a jar of whipped fish roe spread instead of shaving cream just made me burst out laughing!

                                  1. re: 4Snisl

                                    Instead of? Haven't you ever used taramosalata for shaving? It's a bit pricey, but boy does it moisturize.

                                    1. re: pericolosa

                                      OK, I am laughing so hard that I am crying!! This is too funny!

                                  2. re: onceadaylily

                                    I once sent Mr. a few aisles back for a baking ingredient. About 1/2 hour later, he finally came back, with his hand behind his back. Pulled out something, said "can't you use this instead?" It was a can of tomato sauce. I've banned him from shopping (which may have been his desire, anyway).

                                    1. re: pine time

                                      I discovered the other day that if I've sent my BF for something in the baking aisle, I forget that we've bought it, because I don't remember standing in the aisle looking for the item. It was parchment paper that I told him where to find while I was searching for something else in another aisle.

                                    2. re: onceadaylily

                                      Oh boy, do I ever relate!

                                      My husband loves going to the grocery store but he isn't "allowed" to go but once or twice a year. It is a running joke in our relationship that I ask him to stop for bread and two hours and $150 later he comes home with 10 gallons of premium ice cream, 50 different kinds of hot sauce and goodness knows what else.

                                      I do all of the cooking and 99% of the meal planning and shopping. Mr. CB loves my cooking and is, as someone else stated, a fantastic eater.

                                      He will chime in occasionally with specific requests. He does all the clean up.

                                      1. re: cleobeach

                                        ALL THE CLEANUP?

                                        I could do some serious cooking if that were the case here. As it is, we share, but it seems I'm the last to leave the kitchen :-))

                                        1. re: Rella

                                          Yup! I do all of the cooking and "trophy" wife does all of the cleanup. Works for us!!

                                          1. re: Motosport

                                            I had it the other way around that the husband in this family did all the cleanup!
                                            I understand it better now, as a lot of women I've heard would rather just do the cleaning up.
                                            Congratulations on being the good cook!
                                            Are you left without input or inspiration as to what to cook?

                                            1. re: Rella

                                              Yes, mine does 100% of the clean up. Not always the way I would do it but I have learned to bite my tongue.

                                              To answer the OP's original question - He definately has the same passion for food (and wine) that I do.

                                              At restaurants we spend a lot of time discussing what to order. We never order the same thing as we want to try each other's dishes.

                          2. When DH & I got married, I did not know how to cook much of anything. He had lived on his own for years, and was competent (if not inventive) in the kitchen. He taught me basics. Now, I do all the planning, shopping, & cooking. He seems to have forgotten how. I really don't mind, since I enjoy it. He is most appreciative of my cooking, so life is good.

                            1. I have been with my husband almost 13 years and married for nearly 10 of them. In all of that time he has never cooked a meal. He claims he can cook. He said he used to make lasagne and bake cookies for parties. Never had proof. I love to cook and he is more than happy to eat the fruits of my labor.

                              We both enjoy eating out. Over the years he has become way more adventurous with the types of cuisines he will try.

                              1. My lovely and talented wife is a W.A.S.P.. I looked in her mom's spice cabinet and found only salt and pepper. Their idea of a gourmet meal is Mac and cheese with nuttin else in it!!
                                On the other hand, my ancestors are from parts of the world known for savory dishes and spices.
                                So, that being said, I do all of the cooking and she does the clean up. It's all good.
                                Then again, our daughter decided to be a vegan (The Hezbollah of vegetarians). She likes my babaganough and hummos with pita bread. No dairy in pita bread.

                                11 Replies
                                    1. re: ttoommyy

                                      Motosport had said, "My lovely and talented wife is a W.A.S.P.. I looked in her mom's spice cabinet and found only salt and pepper. Their idea of a gourmet meal is Mac and cheese with nuttin else in it!!
                                      On the other hand, my ancestors are from parts of the world known for savory dishes and spices."

                                      A WASP is a White Anglo Saxon Protestant. Rarely complimented for their "Rich Culture and Proud People" and often derided. And that derision usually comments on their lack of "flavor", metaphoric, or otherwise.

                                      So, within the context of what Motosport had said, I decided to quote Homer Simpson by saying, "White people are so lame".

                                      1. re: DougRisk

                                        Yes, I know what a WASP is. I was just a little shocked by the Homer quote (which I also recognized) in this context. That's all.

                                        1. re: ttoommyy

                                          My favorite Homer quote: "Donuts, what can't they do!"
                                          Thanks for clarifying.

                                      1. re: DougRisk

                                        Hey now, some of my best friends are White.

                                        Back on to the topic: For me and my significant other, it's less about how well we cook together. Rather, how well we EAT together. When travelling, if one is hungry and the other not, it can lead to a very contentious situation. Or, when home, one wants to eat a full-blown meat dish but the other would prefer to keep it light.

                                        1. re: globocity

                                          ugh, i have to say, traveling with my otherwise delightful BF is quite a trial when looking to eat out. He always wants to keep the tab down, he's never as hungry as i am, we'll walk around for hours before deciding on a place, with me pushing for nicer or at least interesting, and him just trying to stay in budget. i don't want to be on a budget when we travel (of course, that's somewhat irrational)! i want to try everything!

                                      2. re: Motosport

                                        Hilarious! My friend married one of those and once she put a tiny bit of ground black pepper on his mac n cheese. "Why did you put spices on this? I don't like it." I never knew black pepper was a spice, i always thought of it as a seasoning, like salt. Anyway, makes me giggle..

                                        1. re: MinkeyMonkey

                                          To my wonderful in-laws Mac and Cheese is just that, Mac and Cheese. Nuttin else! I like adding diced onions, peppers and tomatoes along with a blend of cheeses.
                                          When they visit I leave the mac and cheese preparation to the grand poobah, grandad!!

                                          1. re: MinkeyMonkey

                                            Oh my! A friend told me once that when she served brown rice at a family (including the ILs) meal, the table fell silent. After a few moments, her husband said "in this family, we only eat "real" rice......?" To that family, the only rice was plain old white rice.

                                        2. I met Mr. S in the kitchen. We met while working at the Banff Springs Hotel as cooks. He still cooks for a living, but I don't. We work very well together in our kitchen at home and share the cooking, cleaning and shopping pretty evenly. I do most of the baking.

                                          Because of his work hours (breakfast/lunch) he does most of the last minute cooking so that it's either prepped or already cooking when I get home. I do more of the weekend cooking and filling the freezer with soups, stews, sauces.

                                          2 Replies
                                          1. re: Sooeygun

                                            I bet there's some good food in that kitchen. Mr. S sounds like a good man.

                                            1. re: Woodfireguy

                                              He was especially good to me last week for my birthday. Surprise dinner. My favourite old-school meal...shrimp bisque under puff for first course, rare tenderloin with red wine sauce and bearnaise, dauphinoise potatoes for main.

                                              And he hid the prep for the surprise dinner by making a huge batch of beef stock the day before (his excuse for going to the market was to get bones, and the actual stock making distracted me from noticing anything out of order in the kitchen) and ordering out dinner the night before to keep me out of the fridge.

                                          2. We share the cooking almost every night. On some dishes, I'm head chef, on others just the commis.

                                            Shopping we usually do together but sometimes one or the other does it.

                                            1. We do our main shopping together, but if I want to go to an ethnic market or natural foods store, I usually do that while I'm out doing other things. He's a homebody and once shopping's done, it's time to get home. And if I've passed an interesting section of the grocery store and it's not on the list, he says there's no point in just browsing. It's frustrating occasionally, but I love taking the time to look around without pressure and sneak things into the house for special meals (duck breast this coming Sunday) and I always pick up a treat like tinned fish or dark chocolate for him.

                                              As for cooking, he was a bachellor for years before he moved out here to live with me, so he can easily get by on his own. He's mostly vegetarian, and I have an aversion to most vegetables, so many times we're cooking two versions of the same dish, or two different meals. If it's a special dinner, he'll help with prep while I do the cooking. Sometimes he'll get over-enthusiastic and pre-heat my pan to hotter than I want, but I think I cured him of that after I got upset a couple of times. Sometimes, if he's not comfortable preparing a dish and/or it's completely unfamiliar to him, he'll wander off out of the kitchen and leave it to me. One night I had to tell him that if he wanted his fried calamari that evening, he'd need to help with the breading while I fried. That worked.

                                              1. its funny- my ex almost turned me off to cooking entirely. we both LOVE to cook and eat but we have completely different styles in the kitchen- i buy lots of cookbooks and read them cover to cover but rarely ever follow a recipe. i use them more as inspiration, whereas my ex followed recipes to the teaspoon and would get so mad at me when i was cooking. our fights always started by me saying "oops i forgot to add xxxxxx to the pot, can you throw some in?" him: "ok, how much" me: "idk just taste it"....jump forward 2hrs to when we actually eat- him: "you ruined it"

                                                eventually i gave up and just let him do the cooking while i nursed the wine.

                                                we were together almost five years and broke up a few months ago- im happy to report that i cook a lot more now :)

                                                7 Replies
                                                1. re: InSearchOfTacos

                                                  Good for you! -on cooking more now, and being happy.
                                                  Anyone who tells you you "ruined" dinner like that can, and should, suck it.

                                                  1. re: rabaja

                                                    thanks :) i totally agree that blaming anyone for "ruining" food (which i did not do btw, it still tasted good! just wasnt as planned) is totally unnecessary and kinda hurtful.

                                                    cooking is an act of love

                                                  2. re: InSearchOfTacos

                                                    Really? You are much better off without an accuser! I doubt you could "ruin" anything.

                                                    I like to use recipes in a similar way and prefer to just wing it without a recipe. Sounds like a good way to cook to me.

                                                    Just so you know, it does get easier. I've almost completely forgotten most of the rude things my ex used to say to me.

                                                    1. re: InSearchOfTacos

                                                      Although it's great when people cook together on the same wavelength, I appreciate having some not-so-sunny stories about co-cooking in this thread, as well.

                                                      My experience and observation tells that many couples clash in style of cooking, or they express relationship problems when in the kitchen together. It's certainly not rare and might almost be the norm!

                                                      1. re: Bada Bing

                                                        OK, here's a start.

                                                        I can't stand it when he wants to go by a recipe, and I have to 'beg' to deviate on one simple ingredient.

                                                        1. re: Rella

                                                          i totally feel your pain- that used to happen to me ALL the time. and my favorite was when the ingredient in question was one i didnt particularly like. typical conversation:

                                                          him: the recipe for Scallop Brochettes with Artichokes and White Beans on epicurious looks great- let's make that for dinner
                                                          me: sure, but i dont really like artichokes, lets leave those out
                                                          him: ....but we cant do that. artichokes are in the recipe
                                                          me: but i dont like artichokes. do you like them??
                                                          him: not really, but theyre part of the recipe...
                                                          <<30 minutes later, i give up and order takeout>>

                                                          **for the record, i dont dislike artichokes. just an example :)

                                                          1. re: Rella

                                                            That was us this weekend. He doesn't cook all that much but decided to help out by preparing a green bean casserole that his mom used to make. I got him to use fresh green beans instead of canned, but apparently after a few too many "might be good with a little sherry," or "oh! what if we sautee some scallions with the beans?" comments from me, I was given the not too subtle overly chipper pursed lips: "HEY! I bet there's something in the other room you could do, huh? Maybe that would be fun for you?"

                                                            I got the hint and let him follow his recipe as it was written and no one had to sleep on the couch.

                                                      2. If anyone cooks, it's me.

                                                        1. my bf and i both love to cook. i think he's better instinctively, and his food always looks prettier than mine (art background) but he thinks mine tastes better. i'm more adventurous, and i love pairing new things together. we like food shopping together, but he is prone to go for the best deal, and I like getting the yummiest (priciest) speciatly things, like a really good cheese. we split cooking duties, although right now he's underemployed so is doing most of the cooking. we have only cooked together on a couple of occasions, and i found that we we worked well in the same space, but separately - each took a part of the meal and made it. and we both cook in pretty much comfortable silence. I find him very knowledgeable about food, but I read more about it, have experienced more restaurants and types of cuisine, and so know a bit more than he. Whenever a food clue comes up in a cross-word puzzle, he turns to me! We both love to cook for the other as comfort, as love, as a way to show the other how much we appreciate them. i'm going to go in and give him a big kiss right now!

                                                          1. We both cook well and enjoy food. I have the advantage in knowledge and practice, but he's the expert on Japanese cooking.

                                                            Our kitchen, however, is small enough that only one person can cook in it without risking injury, so we take turns. We shop together, and cook on alternating nights, with the other doing the dishes.

                                                            1. Our shared love of food is probably a big part of what brought my husband and I together. We were young enough that we were pretty much learning together. From early in our dating, we enjoyed grocery shopping together, outfitting his first kitchen together, buying cookbooks and happily staying in on a Friday night to watch "Ready, Set, Cook" while eating the gourmet pizzas we made.

                                                              We are now a busy family with school age kids. His work schedule doesn't allow him to cook as often as he'd like, but he tries to be "in charge" of on meal a week. We definitely miss cooking together as often as we once did.

                                                              The last few years, we find ourselves eating out a lot more. If we get the opportunity away from the kids - whether one night or a few days - where we will eat is the biggest decision we make, often discussed ad nauseum while we go over reviews and menus.

                                                              I have no doubt that as we and our lives continue to change, how we enjoy food together will also continue to change.

                                                              1. This story is old but here's what we do. Until a few years ago I did all the cookbook collecting/menu planning/shopping/cooking. Mr. Gio did the heavy grab and run away with a coffee mug and occasionally some of the cleaning up. As my RA worsened and I became more or less wheelchair bound he realized that if he was going to be fed, he'd better start helping out in the kitchen. By that time I was reading Chowhound especially the Home Cooking board so decided to cook along with the COTM crowd.

                                                                We fell into an easy pattern whereby I still plan but he does all the shopping. I do all the prep, he does all the cooking. The kitchen is fairly large, the stove is across the room from where I sit at the sink with counters and cookbook on a stand so we're not in each other's way. To begin I read off the ingredients we need for the meal - one dish prepped and cooked at a time - he gathers everything from fridge and pantry. When the mis en place is ready he cooks as I read out directions.

                                                                It's really amazing how far he's come. He's become quite proficient cooking with a wok, for example, and likes to use it. I won't deny that we have our occasional shouting matches but they subside quickly so we can eat in peace. Fifty-one years this June...

                                                                3 Replies
                                                                1. re: Gio

                                                                  What a fantastic tale, congratulations on many years! I hope my husband and I will have a similar story.

                                                                  1. re: Gio

                                                                    I love your story! I do almost all of the cooking in my house because I really prefer it, and am more then happy to trade it for vacuuming and other things that my husband gladly swaps for meeting a meal with no effort on his part every night. But I really hope that if I ever have to scale back this is the experience we'll have. And fifty-plus years is definitely in my long scope. My parents are a little over 40, and we're shooting for 2 this summer.

                                                                    1. It’s been great reading on how it works in other people’s relationships. I have always fantasized about having a partner in the kitchen. Someone that’s gets turn on when they find cast iron pan at a garage sale. O well. Every pot has a lid and I found a really good lid for my pot in every other way.

                                                                      1. Mr Mr started out with a limited repertoire and has gotten to be a pretty darn good cook in the past 25 years. His mom (whom I love) graduated from college in the late 1940s with a degree in home economics and was a stay-at-home mom, the food was pretty much midwest American circa the '50s. She's changed her diet over the years, too.
                                                                        I took Mr Mr to Costco once when we were first dating (he was still a college student). He disappeared at some point with the cart (that hasn't changed much, actually) and after a while I went looking for him, and saw him from halfway across the store, looking around, checking stuff out, having a ball. I thought " This might be the guy for me." for the first time then.

                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                        1. re: EWSflash

                                                                          I love the picture in my mind of you and your mr at the costco. What fun!

                                                                        2. Little happiness to report here. First, it has to be noted that we ended up divorcing, so things were not rosy on several fronts, but my (now-ex) wife and I never were a good team in cooking. She didn't like cooking and really preferred to eat out, mainly so there'd be no dishes to clean up and no need to wash garlic smell off the fingers and so on.

                                                                          And while I am a devoted cook, it didn't work for us to do a "You cook, "I'll clean" kind of thing, because she'd resent the number of pots and pans and prep bowls and the like that went into many meals. So I pretty much ran the kitchen entirely. Less friction that way.

                                                                          1. We prefer to eat at home, preferring our own ways of food prepartion.

                                                                            We both cook together everyday, and seem to never lack the inspiration to cook another meal because we love eating. One doctor who said that I might be overweight is because we had too many "social events" referring to tea, coffee with a snack in the afternoon. (No, I'm not overweight.)

                                                                            Thinking about it, there are only a couple of chores that belong to each of us: him: washing pots and pans, carrying groceries into the house - mine: keeping the kitchen floor clean and maintaining the larder inventory.

                                                                            I am totally happy with our life of cooking and eating.

                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                            1. I shop often with my SO but cooking with him would drive me nutts.

                                                                              1. Very new relationship, but so far he seems to be willing to try new foods and is honest about what he likes and dislikes. He's great about cleaning up after me in the kitchen or will jump in to help either prepping food or even reading a recipe. We seem to keep out of each other's way as well.

                                                                                Since he travels a lot, our conversations revolve around good food (or lack thereof) wherever he's going. This weekend is West Virginia so pickins will be slim, but then he's back for one day (my birthday! ) and then to California where it will be a little better.

                                                                                So far I've been doing all the shopping and cooking as well as suggesting restaurants since he just moved here. Last month he invited me to an awards banquet in Tulsa and since I don't eat red meat you should have seen the panic on his face when we were served beef. I nudged him under the table and started eating. I was really discreet in putting the meat on his plate. No one even noticed!

                                                                                So far, so good.

                                                                                1. We do a lot of the food stuff together. We are both good at food shopping but he has become much better at it since we've been on his diet. He cooks almost all our meals almost everyday!

                                                                                  When one of us makes a meal, we usually ask the other to sample it in case it "needs" anything. I almost always need to add ground mustard to his dishes. Yes, I'm a ground mustard and prepared mustard fanatic. He almost always needs to add either black pepper or chili powder to my dishes.

                                                                                  We like to sample each others dishes when we eat out but we always ask or offer first. "Would you like to sample the...?". We don't eat off of each others plates.

                                                                                  He is an absolute mess in the kitchen. Oh, wow. He tries but he just isn't all that good at cleaning. I go around and tidy things up but I usually have to wait till he is done or on a preparation or cooking break otherwise I think he feels awkward about it. That is all I'm saying.

                                                                                  Oh, my, one more thing...
                                                                                  If he washes the dishes, I always put them away. That way, I can take a peak at them to have a quick look for unwashed parts. It is usually just something on the bottom of the dish but sometimes the sides of a pan are dirty too. Don't tell him I said so!!

                                                                                  We like the same foods, only difference is I don't like and can't really have sodium and he loves, loves, loves table salt. Aside from that, we enjoy the dishes we make and enjoy going to the same restaurants.

                                                                                  2 Replies
                                                                                  1. re: MinkeyMonkey

                                                                                    Oh, my, one more thing...
                                                                                    If he washes the dishes, I always put them away. That way, I can take a peak at them to have a quick look for unwashed parts. It is usually just something on the bottom of the dish but sometimes the sides of a pan are dirty too. Don't tell him I said so!!

                                                                                    This is us. Funny. Every time I see food on clean dishes I just shake my head and say. What's wrong with that girl? I rinse everything before it goes in the dishwasher

                                                                                    1. re: Woodfireguy

                                                                                      Funny! Both my brother and I are like this. While we were dining at brother and sister-in-law's house, we naturally offered to do the washing up. I practically refused to let my boyfriend help and then my brother practically refused to let me help. I said "but I only trust my dishwashing" to which he replied "and I am a better dishwasher than you so don't you dare!" hah!

                                                                                      It is all in fun but we really mean it, too. My sister-in-law only turns the water on very lightly which drives my brother crazy. He likes full-blast water to rinse things more thoroughly. I have to admit, I'm a water conserver too, just like my grandmother.

                                                                                      And, I do wonder how on earth my guy cannot see the little bit of tomato/oil on the foot of the plate

                                                                                  2. When we first met, over 35 years ago, I tried to give Mr. P.T. some sous duties. Asked him to beat an egg. He looked puzzled, picked one up between thumb and forefinger, and pretended to smack the hell out of it while saying "I don't know why, but apparently you've been bad." I laughed so hard I cried, and still think about it when I beat an egg (he's banished from the kitchen for life).

                                                                                    2 Replies
                                                                                    1. re: pine time

                                                                                      LOL, that sounds exactly like my husband!!! Very funny!! (Mine is also totally worthless in the kitchen...)

                                                                                      1. re: pine time

                                                                                        heh. i was cooking w my mom and kid brother (he was in his late 20's at the time) and we were going to make a dressing. i was doing the serious veg prep so my mom handed my bro a couple of limes and asked him to "roll" them. with a simpering look on his face, he proceeded to gently roll the limes across the counter, as my mom and i stopped our work (record needle screech sound effect) and stared at him. fifteen minutes of explaining the physics of what we were trying to accomplish later, he successfully juiced the limes. he's not a completely incompetent cook btw, just sometimes very "cooking for engineers" non-intuitive.

                                                                                      2. The rare times we cook, my guy cooks and I clean. Washing dishes is one of very few house chores that I actually like. I'll help out with sous-chef duties too.

                                                                                        But honestly I like to make reservations more than I like to make dinners.

                                                                                        1. My SO is like my well-mannered sous chef who follows instruction exactly. So far, so good!

                                                                                          2 Replies
                                                                                            1. re: Woodfireguy

                                                                                              I am very lucky. The catch is that I must provide detailed instructions and adequate supervision, heh heh!

                                                                                          1. The beaux makes a mean breakfast, and awesome fridge clearing sammies after too many drinks... but that's about it. Many years waiting tables, and eating free or discounted meals - so not too many kitchen skills. I love to cook and we have become much more adventurous eaters (as long as I don't crank the chili heat to high). And he is far more patient at some of the more tedious cooking chores - like de-veining shrimp or toasting nuts. It's probably better that I do most of the cooking - me yelling at him for stirring the rice is funny, but it wouldn't be so cute if there was also a whole list of other things that he was *aware* I am a freak about.

                                                                                            2 Replies
                                                                                            1. re: corneygirl

                                                                                              "makes a mean breakfast, and awesome fridge clearing sammies after too many drinks"

                                                                                              mine does this too! it is a nice quality to have.

                                                                                              1. re: mariacarmen

                                                                                                It really is, now I ocassionally eat breakfast and all those little odds and ends taste really good with some melty cheese at 230 AM!

                                                                                            2. I do all the recipe sourcing and grocery-list making due to my extreme need to plan everything at all times :) If I'm home first I'll start meals, but otherwise it's a joint effort- it just goes faster that way, and we can divide jobs up by 'who's best at X' and 'who hates doing Y the most so they don't have to do that' [i hate chopping and cleaning pans]. On the weekends meals can be more complex and wine is involved, so it's a fun stay-at-home event. I've had too many [in my view] overpriced and unsatisfying restaurant meals in my city in the past few years; I'm always thinking "I could have made this for $X at home..." So, that's what we do!

                                                                                              1 Reply
                                                                                              1. re: Smorgasbord

                                                                                                Totally concur regarding the wildly overpriced restaurant meals.... What a drag!

                                                                                              2. When I started dating my now husband, he was over one night at my place. My F & W magazine had just come in the mail, and I was reading through some of the recipes to see if there was anything I was interested in trying. "What are you reading?" "F & W" "Why?" "To see which recipes I might try." Total blank look. He'd never had a girlfriend or wife that knew how to cook. His favorite phrase from me is now "I'm trying this new recipe for dinner." And so far, there's only been a couple he didn't care for.

                                                                                                1. The Hub and I are generally fine friends in the kitchen aspects of life. While I do most of the meal prep and cooking, I can always count on him to take on some task that I *ahem* just don't want to do. "Will you peel a whole head of garlic for me, honey?" Yep. And so forth - you know all the prep tasks you hate? He'll do them. He's great on KP, and the added bonus is time spent catching up with one another as we work.

                                                                                                  We love grocery shopping together. You can't imagine the amount of cr@p I get from friends who think our weekly Friday or Saturday date of, um, grocery shopping is just ridiculous. Oh well. We love it. Travel is not within our means currently, so we travel with food. The grocery shopping supports that, and it is, after all, time together.

                                                                                                  On the clean up front, it's an equal partnership, ultimately...but it's seasonal. Now that baseball season has begun, my Hub will do dishes for hours, listening to the radio. Off-season, it's a little more iffy. More than once I've wished that the World Series was played over Thanksgiving.

                                                                                                  7 Replies
                                                                                                  1. re: cayjohan

                                                                                                    "...and it is, after all, time together."


                                                                                                    We hit all the little latino produce markets in our neighborhood every couple of weekends, him seeking out the best prices, me looking out for new things. it's totally fun, a little neighborhood adventure. and whether i'm being careful or not, it's always cheaper than shopping at the supermarket, or even TJs.

                                                                                                    1. re: mariacarmen

                                                                                                      Same here - we have the Asian market date, the Latin market date, the Russian market date...it's always an education shared, and it keeps us in touch with the community of markets in the area. And I also find it much more economical than the big boxes. It's a great way of taking what is for some a chore, and making it something more. Good on you!

                                                                                                    2. re: cayjohan

                                                                                                      This is our Saturday night date too! We walk to the store, and get dinner provisions (it takes longer and costs more when we're together, but it's more fun - and he is more patient and deliberative). On the way home we stop at the local bar for a drink or two (they'll put the shellfish or ice-cream in the cooler). Then I cook, he does the nit-picky bits and reads me baseball stats. Lot's of wine, chit-chat and a documentary or tv show from netflix. Best night of the week.

                                                                                                      1. re: corneygirl

                                                                                                        A long love-affair - with food as a cornerstone.

                                                                                                        1. re: corneygirl

                                                                                                          I'm so glad someone else has Grocery Dates! Once the growing season hits here, we'll add the Farmer's Market to our dates. Honestly, there have been many times when we've weighed going out for a bite, versus going grocery shopping and cooking, and the latter nearly always wins. It's always a good time.

                                                                                                          Come to think about it, Hub and I never, ever disagree about food-shopping and cooking. It seems to be a tacit pact between us. We can and do argue about almost everything else, but never about the realm of food. Huh. Perhaps grocery shopping is a truly romantic thing? I can work with that. Perhaps I'll even start thinking of it as a lovey thing when he tells me I'm the best grocery bagger he's every seen. Ah, romance!

                                                                                                          1. re: cayjohan

                                                                                                            I'd say about half the time he come to the Farmer's Market with me... otherwise I'll bring him home a kolache or something to go with the morning coffee. It's so nice to ENJOY the necessary tasks of life with someone you love!

                                                                                                        2. re: cayjohan

                                                                                                          I love your set up. I do all the shopping, cooking and re-cleaning the dishes. She has cleaned more than her share of my kitchen bombs though.

                                                                                                          I shop on Thursdays or Fridays and never with a list. For some reason I have my pantry and fridge memorized. No list means that I buy what looks good and pretty much set the menu for the weekend while I’m at the store. I would really like it if she was into doing that with me. I like what cornetgirl does with her SO too.

                                                                                                        3. I come from a family of food lovers but my husband was the one who turned me into a real foodie. I haven't been working for the last 18 months so I've been doing 95% of the cooking at home. If we do cook together, whoever is driving the meal will delegate tasks to the other person. After we finish cooking and eating, we always clean up the kitchen together and chat about whatever.
                                                                                                          When we go out, we go all out. Sometimes we order 3 entrees just because we want to try everything!

                                                                                                          2 Replies
                                                                                                            1. re: Woodfireguy

                                                                                                              I realize this an old link, however I feel compelled to reply. I am for the most part chief cook and bottle washer in my home, however DH will ON OCCASION ( usually when he is hungry ) come help in the kitchen. The times he does I find that we work well together. He also does the baking as the concept of measuring anything in exact quantities is utterly foreign to me.