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Mar 11, 2011 04:09 PM

Gay Friendly


I'm really not trying to insult anyone or any group. (usually people say that then insult said person or group, I hope not too) but what is Gay Friendly. I'm reading a review on yelp about Downcity in Rhode Island (on Kitchen Nightmares) and people keep talking about Gay Friendly. While I'm not gay, I am black and I never think of a restaurant being Black Friendly, even though I've had Black Unfriendly.

What makes a restaurant Gay Friendly? Just wondering.

  1. Not being told to "Get Out" or "Leave" [or, at the least, being stared at hostilely and given barely any service] because you are there with someone of the same sex and you are holding hands (briefly) or being a little affectionate - or being there with a young child who, it becomes clear, is part of a "family unit" [from observed behavior] with you and this person of the same sex. Not being told in this context that "your disgusting behavior" [with or without child] is not "Family Friendly" according to the restaurant/place and that you need to leave because they don't want "Your Type" there setting a lascivious example/spectacle for other "Wholesome Family People" who might be eating there especially if they have other "Normal" children there. Rather, one is welcomed and given prompt and obliging service for being a person who fits these descriptions or similar. Do you get the idea?

    It is interesting that you needed to ask. Perhaps one might consider that there are other classes of people other than Blacks who experience discrimination.

    5 Replies
    1. re: huiray

      Excellent response! that I hope makes others think more than a bit, as part of being gay-unfriendly is the other customers.

      Food is sexual but sexual orientation does NOT determine where everyone eats! People who feel and worst, indicate, their concept that people need to be of a "certain ordained" orientation should not eat in public are the first ones who should not eat in public.

      Just saying.

      1. re: huiray

        Thank you very much. I don't think of Gay people as being different which made me ask the question. But your response made me say.."yeah okay I get it now".

        I've experience discrimination myself. When we were travelling to a family reunion on a bus, we stopped at a restaurant. My father and a couple of uncles got out to see if there was enough seats for everyone. I could see someone run to the door as they approached. I seen them talking them my uncles grabbed my father as he went for the guy at the door. They were told that the place was closed, even though the place was full. I was 12 years old and at 47 I'll never forget the look on his face.

        Thanks again for the lesson

        1. re: Just Plain Craig

          JPC, glad I could be of some assistance. I'm sure you have many stories that you could share with folks, too.


        2. re: huiray

          Wow, this is very interesting! I guess I've never thought about this before. When I was working as a server (years ago), it never occurred to me to notice the orientation or even the ethnicity of the people I was serving. I was so freaked out about doing my job well (I sucked at it, which is why I'm a generous tipper today) that my biggest concern wasn't who might be holding hands with whom, but whether I could avoid spilling something burning hot on them and possibly salvage a tip.

          1. re: huiray

            I think that JPC was wondering at the "accommodation" being made for gays, when there isn't one for blacks - although prejudice against both still exists. There should be no "accommodation", there should be no "tolerance" - we have to "tolerate" gays and/or blacks?? It should just be people eating at a restaurant - period, and the only time you are not made to feel welcome is when you behave badly. but of course, that's not the way it is everywhere, even at this late date.

          2. I'm not 100% myself!:} I assume it means that a restaurant has a regular gay clientele. Therefore, if you are part of a gay couple, you'll likely feel comfortable eating there as you most likely will see other gay couples. Living in NYC this is not uncommon in standard restaurants. I'm sure though that the label would be much appreciated if you were to live in Kansas though:} I must say that as open as people are or say they are, many people still get squeamish if they see two men holding hands. Ironically, if they went to the Middle East they'd be extremely uncomfortable.... there it's unusual for men not to hold hands:} (Although unfortuantey they also are fervently homophobic... go figure)

            3 Replies
            1. re: NicoleFriedman

              Now, now... let's not start hatin' on Kansas! There's a lot more to Kansas than the Westboro Church.

              1. re: KansasKate

                I think that's the point of the thread right :D No hatin'.

                1. re: Sue in Mt P

                  true, Kansas can pleasantly surprise one. I'm not moving back anytime soon, but met some very nice and progressive folks when I did live there.

            2. The original comment has been removed
              1. gender neutral bathrooms are a plus for transgender ppls

                3 Replies
                  1. re: PotatoPuff

                    Not to mention to avoid the ridiculously long lines that sometimes form at the womens' restroom!

                    1. re: PotatoPuff

                      I USED to disagree, because guys tend to pee all over the seat. But women seem to be pretty competent at spraying all over the toilet now-days, as well, so it definitely makes sense. And yes, avoiding those long ladies' lines is very welcome!

                    2. I've only ever seen this in relation to vacation destinations (Montreal for eg). But it's funny, as I followed a link from I think the HP the other day with a list of restaurants, and one of them was described and a reference made to "while much of the clientele are gay" because of the amount of bars in the area.

                      I remember thinking, well that's weird. I wasn't sure if it was just elaborating that all were welcome, or if it was a heads up to the unsuspecting who might encounter, "teh gays, oh noes!!!!"

                      1 Reply
                      1. re: im_nomad

                        Same here, but I think it might be because I live in a very "gay friendly" community. I honestly can't imagine any of the restaurants or other businesses around here being unfriendly to anyone, much less an entire demographic group. They would go out of business pretty fast.