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Motley Crew Seeks One-Night-Only South Beach Eats!

v
veverka Mar 10, 2011 09:30 PM

So. My fiance, parents, brother, brother's girlfriend, and Aunt are all going to be in Miami for one night only. We are all out-of-towners.

Dad wants to be in South Beach. I believe he wants to Check Out The Scene.
Mom wants to be in South Beach. She likes anything sleek metropolitan feeling.
Fiance wants a good beer, and is allergic to seafood. He prefers vegetables, but eats meat.
Brother has only ever been witnessed eating steak. Very picky eater, weird vegetables will be poked with disdain. Fancy-schmancy makes him roll his eyes.
Brother's girlfriend is not 21, but is the least picky of the group. God bless you.
Aunt is a laid-back casual artist type (and only actual Floridian in the group). She will likely arrive dressed as such.
I would like this crazy awesome 7-person (8? Aunt's boyfriend will join if he's not out-of-town for work) dinner to be at or under 30$ pp (before drinks/tax/tip). Distant second to that I am a foodie, and prefer veg/meat to grains/pasta.

God Help Us.

Basically we're looking for "as nice/hip as possible without being "nice" "hip" or charging for either. please serve booze and beef and be in south beach."

So far all I've got is Joe's Stone Crab or Meat Market. Will either of those work? Will anything work?

Oh goodness.

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Joe's Stone Crab
11 Washington Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139

Meat Market
915 Lincoln road, Miami Beach, FL 33139

South Beach Cafe
121 5th St, Miami Beach, FL 33139

  1. t
    tpigeon Mar 11, 2011 02:53 AM

    Your best bet is something like Books & Books. Joes and Meat Market are too expensive.

    1. m
      mikek Mar 11, 2011 09:07 AM

      Burger & Beer joint would work (though not unique to Miami). I would suggest looking into Tap Tap for Haitian food. They have fish, they have beef, they have veggies, and some damn good goat as well.

      1 Reply
      1. re: mikek
        t
        tpigeon Mar 11, 2011 09:32 AM

        Burger and Beer loses mom and fiance. Tap Tap loses the brother and mom.

        Rosa mexicana may work.

      2. f
        Fineas Mar 11, 2011 11:25 AM

        Joe's and Meat Market are both good and can both be pretty expensive, but I think you can make Joe's work overall. Get a few orders of medium stone crab claws for people to share. The mediums aren't that expensive. Joe's has some good fresh fish that is simply prepared but pretty reaqsonably priced. They also have a few menu items that are very good and strangely cheap -- the $5.95 Chopped Tenderloin (basically 2 very good 8 oz burgers w/o a bun) and the $5.95 1/2 chicken (get it fried, although you can do BBQ or broiled). Their steaks are pricey but good, but if you don't overdo it on the stone crabs and steak and mix in the chopped tenderloin and fried chicken you can stay within your budget overall with some shared sides (skinny sweets) and Key Lime Pie. Then, after dinner (or maybe before dinner), to satisfy those who want some SoBe scene, a metropolitan feel and good beer, go around the corner (or maybe 2 blocks away) to The Room.

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        Meat Market
        915 Lincoln road, Miami Beach, FL 33139

        11 Replies
        1. re: Fineas
          t
          tpigeon Mar 11, 2011 11:59 AM

          I am not sure why you would want to do this and wait 2 hours to sit at joes when you are not "overdoing it", especially if someone is allergic to seafood.

          1. re: tpigeon
            f
            Fineas Mar 11, 2011 12:12 PM

            I think veverka's dilemma is that it is a difficult group to satisfy with a single place. Joe's is an institution with very good, yet simple food that works for many of the people in the group. The person who is allergic to seafood can have any one of a dozen or more non-seafood dishes and there are several good choices for the other meat eaters too. I have gone to Joe's with picky non-seafood eaters and they have enjoyed it.

            1. re: Fineas
              t
              tpigeon Mar 11, 2011 04:26 PM

              While I agree with you there are things on the menu that can work at joes, I would not go to joes and wait 2 hours or more to get a table, just to have their non seafood items. There are not enough people in this group that would enjoy Joes enough to go through the whole waiting for a table process.

              Books and Books has a large menu with good food at decent prices. It has great outdoor seating in the heart of lincoln road that will satisfy the peoplewatchers.

              1. re: tpigeon
                Blind Mind Mar 12, 2011 06:49 AM

                I agree with Books & Books. That's the call right there.

                1. re: tpigeon
                  f
                  Fineas Mar 14, 2011 10:35 AM

                  Only two people in the group were described as not eating seafood -- fiance and brother. Not sure how you can conclude that the other 5 or 6 people in the group wouldn't enjoy Joe's enough to do the wait. And even for those 2 non-seafood eaters, there are prime steaks and some other good (aleit non-fancy, but that's what they like) non-seafood choices, as well as some great sides and desserts. Lots and lots of people go to Joe's and enjoy it notwithstanding the wait. For one night in Miami, I am guessing they may not necessarily be looking for a quickie 45-minute meal and back to the hotel. And depending on when they go, the wait doesn't need to be 2 hours or anywhere close to that.

                  1. re: Fineas
                    Frodnesor Mar 14, 2011 11:55 AM

                    While Joe's is a classic Miami institution, there's not much South Beach scene at Joe's Stone Crab. Also, while there are some great bargains there (the $5.95 fried chicken or the chopped steak), it is otherwise basically impossible to eat there for under $30/pp.

                    To some degree this strikes me somewhat like one of the ridiculous mystery baskets on "Chopped" - "make a dish with scallops, beef jerky, peanut butter, and a kiwi!" You've got a bunch of competing goals and they are not all going to be perfectly fulfilled.

                    I'd suggest going to one of the more casual Italian places on Lincoln Road - Rosinella or Spris in particular. You'll get the Lincoln Road scene, there will be steak / non-seafood / vegetarian options for those with limited diets, the price is right, and the food will be decent. Neither place is itself "hip," but the location is one of South Beach's major walking and people-watching venues.

                    I've always been under the impression that Quattro Gastronomia is in a higher price bracket than OP requested.

                    1. re: Frodnesor
                      t
                      tpigeon Mar 14, 2011 04:37 PM

                      I picked Books & Books over rosinella and spris because books has a more diversified menu and will satisfy the steak eater better.

                      1. re: Frodnesor
                        a
                        amyvc Mar 14, 2011 07:11 PM

                        You're right. Quattro is absolutely above the price point. I was saying that, in a similar position, I was able to stay where I wanted by ordering pasta and apps.

                        1. re: Frodnesor
                          The Chowfather Mar 14, 2011 08:27 PM

                          I like the Rosinella and Spris recs and would also consider Ice Box and Tiramesu. Unfortunately both Altamare and The Royal at the Raleigh will cross that $30 price point

                          -----
                          Rosinella
                          525 Lincoln Rd, Miami Beach, FL 33139

                          Spris
                          2305 Ponce De Leon Blvd, Coral Gables, FL 33134

                          1. re: The Chowfather
                            t
                            tpigeon Mar 14, 2011 08:57 PM

                            Spris and Tiramisu are really the same as you can order off of both menus at either place. Ice box will have trouble seating 8 well and can be inconsistent.

                            -----
                            Spris
                            2305 Ponce De Leon Blvd, Coral Gables, FL 33134

                            1. re: tpigeon
                              Blind Mind Mar 15, 2011 07:14 AM

                              Again... Books & Books is the call. Lock it up. Only reason I'd do Spris is if I wanted pizza. You want good food and a diverse menu so Books & Books is perfect for you.

                              -----
                              Spris
                              2305 Ponce De Leon Blvd, Coral Gables, FL 33134

              2. m
                mikek Mar 11, 2011 01:07 PM

                How about Sardinia? They still have greens on the menu, though there are obviously the pastas you would expect at an Italian.

                1 Reply
                1. re: mikek
                  t
                  tpigeon Mar 11, 2011 04:27 PM

                  I think sardinia is a bit expensive especially for the steak eater and might not be sceney enough.

                2. a
                  amyvc Mar 13, 2011 07:09 PM

                  Ok, hear me out. I was recently at a bachelorette party in South Beach that had similar food issues as above, only 3x as many people and all women. Can't believe I survived, to be honest. Anyway, we ended up at Quattro, Italian place on Lincoln Road. This is normally a very expensive place to eat, because their dinners are pricey. Bride got a gigantic steak for about $45. The rest of us ordered apps and pastas (primi piati) instead of dinners and our meal ended up being about $30 pp. My pasta was DIVINE - freshly made ravioli with white truffle oil. (I will caveat with I'm not a gigantic eater and tend to get full easily). The place is on Lincoln Road which is the heart of "scene-y", if i'm not mistaken. The interior itself definitely has a clean lines, South Beach-y vibe to me.

                  Of course, you'd need to know going in that you might not be ordering from the main menu if you want to stay in your price point. Also, OP might not get the meat/veg she is looking for for that price point either.

                  1. v
                    veverka Mar 20, 2011 11:25 PM

                    Thanks all for your recs! Unfortunately, our crew had some major logistical issues that night (besides dinner) and we couldn't get out to south beach. In the end, we went to a place called Carino's, I think, by the airport. It was not something I'd repeat, though the service was very good and the picky eaters were satisfied.

                    Should it ever be attempted again, I'll try out one of the Lincoln Rd. recs.

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