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How to look dignified while eating messy food...

Any innovative tips for not looking like a kid when eating tacos with lots of sauce, overstuffed falafel sandwiches, particularly messy burgers, etc.? Spagetti I've mastered, but for some reason, I'm still a klutz when it comes to the rest...

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  1. Everything I eat looks good on me. I want to enjoy my food; that's why we have bibs, napkins and wet towels.

    1. I love French onion soup, but I won't eat it when dining with strangers. I have no dignified way of scooping up that broiled cheese, soup, onions and bread.

      Bottom line: if I'm dining with strangers or people I want to impress, I stick to "neat" foods.

      When eating with friends & family, anything goes.

      1. A monocle has always worked for me.

        8 Replies
        1. re: Naco

          ahahaha you beat me to it, i was going to say a top hat and monocle.

          as to the OP's question, you can eat with gusto without being disgusting. enjoy your food!

          1. re: mariacarmen

            Top hat, monocle, and cravat. Something tweedy and eccentric. You cannot fail.

            1. re: mamachef

              Why can't I find the monocle store in the yellow pages?

              1. re: Firegoat

                Hmmmm....pawnshop? Antique store? Optometrist? Who will charge you so much money, your dinner cost is going to just about square itself. : )
                Just......if you splatter or drip, assume a deadpan look as if you MEANT to do it, because all the best people know it's just the thing to do. Dare them to giggle. : )

                1. re: Firegoat

                  Give a phone call to Planters Peanuts. Ask for the Logo division.

                  1. re: FoodFuser

                    If thy don't answer, Parker Bros Monopoly Division will be happy to help ;)

            2. In the now-infamous words of one of my MIL's beaus, a fussy man if there ever was one, "There is no genteel way to eat ribs." For once in his life, he just dug in and went for it.

              1. i say : dance like no one is watching

                1 Reply
                1. re: thew

                  If you're eating messy food at all, chances are you're with something like know and like. And they may be eating messy food too, so just dive in, and slurp away! :)