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"Kids Say the Darndest Things" about Food, Cooking, etc.: Plse Add Your Funny Experiences!

i love the "Cooking w/ Dexter" pieces in the NYTimes Sunday magazine. Here in Boston, my fav story was one i read in The Globe Sunday magazine.

A woman was post-holiday cooking a turkey leftovers dish with her 4 year old grandson. After she explained to him that next, she was going to dice the turkey, he asked "O.K. but after you do that, can I paint the dots on them?" !!!!!!!!!!

i bet you have some good ones too!............

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  1. We have a child in the family who has a tendency to complain about the food being too spicy. This extends well beyond foods that actually have hot chiles or cayenne pepper etc. in them. Any food and every food is subject to be declared "too spicy" by fiat.

    So one day, we're having supper. Something totally bland- turkey sandwiches or something. Child has a glass of ice water. Child drinks ice water and declares,

    "Ugh! This ice is too spicy!"

    1. My youngest thought mangoes were flamingo eggs. She was absolutely convinced: Flamingoes gave us mangoes like hens gave us eggs. To this day (child is graduating high school now) we still call mangoes "mangle-o's," as that was child's word for both flamingoes and mangoes.

      And there's the "Which came first...?" joke in there.

      1. My 11 yr old told me, after a stop at Starbucks, "I always feel so much more mature when I drink coffee.". Made me chuckle.

        1 Reply
        1. re: VeggieHead

          I would have told her not to fret, Starbucks isn't actual coffee!:)

        2. I tried passing off some frozen Chinese chicken stir fry (one of the better ones I think) as something I made, which I dashed up a bit and made some rice on the side. I thought I might try it to see if it was a meal I could use again when my boys were much younger. When I brought it to the table I made it look real appetizing (I think we had salad too). After they both started eating my older son (not yet 10) said to me with the most puzzled look, "Mom? Is this.........prepared?".

          1. After boosting himself into a cafe chair, and opening a menu, my preschool son said with a sigh, "Still can't read."

            15 Replies
            1. re: sueatmo

              did you HEAR my deep guffaws?!!! That is PRECious!!

                  1. re: sueatmo

                    This is my favorite so far, I can just see it happening. So cute!

                    1. re: sueatmo

                      Ha - I wandered over to this board and couldn't resist opening this thread. LOVED this story - laughed out loud. Last year, I found my 2 year old (who also can't read, obviously) sitting on a chair, studiously going through the weekend flyers. When I asked him what he was doing, he gazed up at me and said "I'm looking to see if diapers are on sale at Wal-Mart". Kids are the best!

                      1. re: peppermint pate

                        They are so much a product of what they hear and experience, aren't they peppermint? That's a precious, precious story. It made me snort-laugh out loud.
                        In that vein, when #1 son was maybe 5, we got out of the supermarket and I looked down to see that he had a roll of lifesavers clutched in his sticky little hand. When I picked my jaw up off the pavement, I asked him what in the world he was thinking, and he said, "yesterday in the 'apartment' store, you said, we never pay full price for anything, so I didn't."
                        Quick re-structuring in life lessons:

                        #1: we never take something that does not belong to us
                        #2: we never pay full price for anything. (especially at the department stores.)

                        1. re: mamachef

                          OMG - so, so funny. I particularly like the way you recalibrated your life lessons on the spot.

                          That same son, having figured out that anything pictured in a flyer was on sale, pointed to an ad for a GPS system, which showed a monitor with a map in it and said "Look mama, roads are on sale."

                          I need to get my brain in gear to remember some of the food related comments as I know there has been loads of them - just can't remember a single one at the moment!

                          1. re: mamachef

                            Love it! Perfectly logical to a 5-year-old-brain because, really, he didn't pay full price.

                        2. re: sueatmo

                          LOVE IT! I can just picture the sigh.

                            1. re: sueatmo

                              That's one of the funniest things I've ever read.

                              1. re: sueatmo

                                This still cracks me up every time I think about it.

                                1. re: buttertart

                                  me too!! I tell people IRL this story... They love it!

                                  1. re: kubasd

                                    You know, I crack up myself whenever I remember it. He is of course far older now. He still cracks me up though.