Scrooged - Crummy culinary Christmas gifts - water of the month with gin and Titonic ice cubes
Your friends know you love food. So you get the gift certificate to Olive Garden. Yes, it's the thought that counts ... but ... what were they thinking?
Any Christmas nightmares this year?
I didn't receive this but ... Water of the month? I love the ad copy
"Each month, Aqua designates two different "waters of the month": one water is always plastic bottles; one water is always glass bottles (occasionally we designate the same brand in a given month in plastic and glass)."
Wow ... a little Tasmania Rain perhaps?
"Tasmanian Rain is pure rainwater captured where the air has as low as 10 particles per cubic centimeter compared with the average of between 5,000 and 50,000 particles per cubic centimeter in the northern hemisphere. It is here on the pristine island of Tasmania, near the edge of the world, that the World Meteorological Organization's Baseline Air Monitoring Station records the world's purest air. The rain that is collected by a custom-designed catchment facility has traveled eastward via air currents over Antarctica and10,000 miles of ocean"
Catchment facility? Do they mean buckets?
Then there's Wildalp BABY water "only harvested at 7 Degrees Celsius during specific lunar cycles"
Pair that with Gin and Titonic ice cube trays ... "Icebergs float while ocean liners list slightly"
My boss wanted to take the two of us who work under her to Olive Garden for our annual holiday lunch--luckily I convinced her that a locally-owned Thai place would be better.
Yes, that's the worst I have for Christmas food gifts. The stories can only get better from here.
The water thing is, uh, weird, but I like those Titonic ice cubes.
As Menken said, "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." (And they didn't even have bottled water then).