What would you do with a cheese hater?
My husband. my family and friends all find my hatred of cheese to be very amusing for some strange reason. I've made my aversion to the cheeses of the world known before on these boards, but just to be clear...
1. I do not have a cheese phobia. If you put cheese in my face I will only run for cover because of the smell, not because I think it will eat me. (Unlike my dad, who actually has screamed for his life when a hapless bus boy tried to sprinkle parmesan on his veal).
2. Yes, I know there is a cornucopia of cheese and that not all cheeses taste or smell the same.I find it odd that whenever I mention how I hate cheese, someone always feels that I just haven't found the "right cheese". I'm not going to list all of the cheeses I have tasted over my lifetime, but I can guarantee that I have covered the gamut; soft, medium, hard, stinky to the innocuous... yes, even fresh mozzarella I cannot choke down. The one exception: ricotta cheesecake, IF there is enough sugar (to cover up any remaining cheese taste).
3. I do not deny my husband or my friends their right to enjoy cheese, even stinky cheese in front of me. Just don't kiss me until you brush your teeth!! :}
What would YOU do if your loved one hated cheese? Would you torture them by eating gorgonzola every meal? Would you find it amusing? Or would you be frustrated that you can't share your famous lasagna and keep trying to convert the cheese hater?
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I'm not sure I'd do anything. Okay, I think I'd tease a few times, because it is easy to acknowledge differences with humor, but that is really all.
I have a similar thing with mayo and one friend used to threaten to sneak it into foods--she had me over almost every Sunday. Honestly, I was uncomfortable and suspicious even with chocolate cake due to her threats to make mayonnaise chocolate cake, just to prove to me that I was wrong. Why bother?!!!
I'm not into changing people's likes and dislikes unless they really seem unfounded which makes me want to inquire a little. But, even in that case, it isn't worth it. People like themselves the way they are and don't need to be like me!
My brother hates going to movies in theaters. I've tried to understand this, "Do you dislike crowds? Do you dislike the dark?" etc. He just doesn't like going to see movies in theaters. Period. I made him go to the theater with me, just once, because they served beer and pizza. We don't drink alcohol but it was such a novel idea to me at the time that I convinced him to try it. It was a stupid movie and although he didn't complain, that was the last time he went to see a movie in a theater. That was in 1997!
I find it is just easier to not be concerned with differences no matter how trivial they seem to me. Maybe it is just related to maturity, maybe not, but I no longer want to show people the light so to speak :)
Regarding your family, some people are just pranksters and need to have fun. They don't see when it annoys someone, they probably think you find it funny too. At least, that is my opinion.
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My SO loves to tease me because there are a few foods I simply cannot stand - namely, melons, cucumbers and mayonnaise. It's not an issue of phobias, it's simply that I find the taste and textures of these foods completely repulsive. I can tolerate mayo if it's just a minor ingredient (say in a very dry tuna salad) but I will gag if I order a sandwich and it is slathered in mayo. Likewise, I love pickles but raw cucumbers gross me out.
Anyway, he will tease me about it but not make an issue of trying to "force" me to eat something I don't like, or insist there is something wrong with me because I don't like these foods. I can't imagine being completely off-put by a person's few eating dislikes that I couldn't have a relationship with them, unless they were one of those total food-phobes who won't eat anything but meat and potatoes or has a lengthy allergy list that rules out virtually everything I love to eat and cook (I'm mildly garlic intolerant, so I have my own issues to an extent.)
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I am almost speechless. I could go the rest of my life eating nothing but cheese. I love cheese more than anything. For Thanksgiving, we started with a cheese and wine course, while we waited for the meal to cook. After dinner, we brought it back out and that was basically our dessert. I can't fathom someone not liking cheese. I feel for you. Someone must have hit you in the head with a ball of mozzarella when you were young, haha!
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re: jhopp217
Will you marry me?
My Solstice dinner (for friends who have left between Christmas and New Year's) started and concluded with cheese. It is definitely the starter and the dessert. The only reason I limit consumption of cheese are: 1) it is high in fat and calories, though not "junk food". 2) it is usually expensive and 3) I have a degree of lactose intolerance, though goat, ewe and even some matured cow's milk cheeses don't bother me, as milk and ice cream will not fail to do.
Cheese is known as the "drunkard's biscuit"! Now, it is not exactly good for the physical, mental, social or financial health to be a drunkard, but if one loves wine, cheese is usually the loyal partner and friend.
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You sound a lot like my mother.
My mother despises cheese. She says it was from when her parents used to force it on her as a child. She can smell it from a MILE away, and will turn her nose up and say "EWWW" if god forbid I order poutine or mac and cheese in a restaurant. It bothers me a lot that she has to make a scene, but I'm not going to give up my love of cheese, so I go ahead and eat what i want in front of her.
I remember as a child ALWAYS being so jealous of my friends whose moms would make them Kraft Dinner. I wasn't allowed it in the house, but one day my Gramma made it for us when she was babysitting. My mom came home, smelled it, and didn't come home that night.The weird thing is that she LOVES cheesies, they are her favourite snack. I dont get it because they have a very obnoxious cheese taste. She will also have a LIGHT helping of cheese on her pizza.
For this reason, I kind of think its predominantly in her head. She doesn't like the SMELL of cheese, but if she doesn't know/smell it, then she will like the food. For example, once I ordered tiramisu and didn't tell her it was made with cheese, and she loved it. Then I told her the truth and she hated it.As the only person who cooks in the family, I am accomodating. I don't cook with cheese, which obviously limits a LOT of things I can make/serve. I would not want to push cheese on her, as it just starts arguments. Ha.
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I have NEVER had a relationship with a guy who didn't eat cheese. Or a close friendship with a woman (I'm het; my gay and lesbian friends are welcome to reverse those statements). I really wonder if I could, even though I have a fair degree of lactose intolerance and never drink milk, and have to take some cheeses with Lactaid (I'm fine with goat's cheeses, and certain very long-cured cow cheeses such as some of the Swiss varieties).
Though I do like East and Southeast Asian cheeseless foods - I'd have more trouble with cheeseless foods derived from European cookery.
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re: NicoleFriedman
I could, but it would be hard to live together as I love to cook and can't imagine doing that without cheese (I'm part Italian). And certainly not if he ruined my ricotta pie with too much disgusting SUGAR. ;-)
Here in Québec we have many wonderful small producers of artisan cheeses. Mmmmm.
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re: lagatta
Lagatta, the American Cheese Society will be holding its annual conference in Canada (Montreal!) for the first time next August. The conference itself is restricted to members, but the Festival of Cheese with which the conference concludes is open to the public. Well over 1,000 cheeses are available for tasting, including all of the competiton winners. I've attended several conferences and the Festival is always an awesome event.
Here's a "teaser" link to next year's event:
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I eat quite a variety of cheeses now but I was not born that way. The flavours can be extremely complex but somehow they all work together to give a mesmerizing effect, similiar to chocolate. However, I remember one time I had a really bad stomach infection after eating at a restaurant. It was so bad I felt like someone was cutting the inside of my stomach, which was quite a shock to me because I just about never ever get sick. For several days I could barely eat a thing not only because food made my stomach feel even worse but the taste was totally different in the worst way. In the end only 2 things I tried were not too horrible, banana and coconut water. And one of the worst tasting things was... CHEESE. It was incredibly foul and bitter, nasty nasty rotten stuff. Perhaps that is the true taste of food without the filter of a good appetite. So, to answer your question, I probably would not try too hard to turn them into cheese lovers, it might be truely nasty to them. On the other hand, I also have another theory. I believe that without the ability to at least differentiate some of the different components in a particular food it is perhaps impossible to enjoy. In sound, we would hear a cluster of sound as dissonance which basically functions as noise, typically annoying. But, the same cluster of sound when heard by someone with the ability to actually hear each tone independently, and appreicate the way it is being put together it might be very beautiful, especially when it is introduced in a coherent setting. So, this means it should be possible to turn a non cheese lover into one by somehow sharpening the taster's ability to differentiate different flavours. I think this is why a dog would stick its nose in places we consider too nasty. It actually loves the complexity that we lack the ability to understand. Do I make any sense?
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re: mimolette
I think I get the jist of what you're trying to say. I've always thought that my taste receptors for the flavor components of cheese may simply not work the same way as others. But if that's the case, I don't know if you can "train" someone to like the offensive food item. Then again. if there is a psychological component, "training" may be possible.... if it were important enough to try to do, which I don't think it is:}
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Cheese is one of the many foods that the father-in-law "doesnt like". We have long since given up trying to find food that he might like as his idea of a balanced meal is a plate where a small piece of meat, sits alongside a large piece of meat.
Luckily, his cheese-hating habits havnt rubbed off on to my partner. But she does have her foibles and there are things that she just wont eat. Why would I give this a second thought?
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I'd laugh and say "more for me"!
When my mom was in her 70s, she dog sat for my sister. Damn big dog and very little mom. Dog pulled her over and she shattered her elbow. They did a bone density test and discovered she actually had the bones of a young woman. Her response? Great bones, lousy cholesterol.
PS--Mom's now 82, still great bones and lousy cholesterol. That woman has never met a cheese she didn't like. But the pins in her elbow make it a b***h to fly.
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re: NicoleFriedman
I thought it was funny, like most family teasing. :)
It reminded me of an unfunny big work lunch today, though, where my boss ordered an appetizer of cured meats for the table. I could tell that my (new!) co-worker absolutely did not want to try any of them, but the boss wouldn't let it go- she kept trying to make the new girl try these meats. Talk about awkward. After several awful minutes, I finally intervened and said, in a joking-but-not-really-joking way, "She DOESN'T WANT to eat the MEAT!"
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I don't like eggs. Specifically, I don't like egg yolks. I can't "cover them up" or "find the right dish" because for some inherent reason, I just can't stand even the thought of them in my food. It is what it is. If people don't understand, it's not your job to explain the details of your distaste.
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re: SOBoston
do you eat baked goods? pasta? pancakes? waffles?
i'm not trying to be difficult - i'm genuinely curious since you said that you can't even stand the thought of yolks in your food... because all of those things traditionally contain eggs, but you'd be hard pressed to isolate the flavor.
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Did your Dad's aversion to the cheese on his veal stem from a Kosher upbringing by any chance? If yes, that is a different type of issue. Even if his family didn't keep Kosher, there could be remnants. My (non-Jewish) father used to beg my (Jewish) mother to make pork chops. She was far, far from keeping Kosher (indeed, it wasn't dinner without a glass of milk to go with whatever meat dish was being served), but she just didn't want to serve pork....
To the extent your family teases you, whether that is appropriate behavior on their part or not, it is probably your reaction that makes it amusing or fun for them. Just don't talk about it or visibly react, and if you don't like what they cook, do the shopping and make dinner yourself. (without commenting on the lasagna).
What is the most you've ever paid for cheese? I thought I HATED certain types of cheese (notably feta) until I tried the really good stuff. Unfortunately, the really good stuff usually comes at a very stiff price.
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re: susancinsf
Actually, my dad didn't eat that much for a short period in his life when he was a kid. It may have been his way of acting out. My grandparents strange solution was to send him to sleepaway where he was force fed cheese. And no one in my immediate family is kosher.
As for price, my hubby has paid an arm and a leg for the good stuff, so I have tried the expensive cheese.-
re: NicoleFriedman
I am sorry but I must confess to you that I laughed at the sleep away camp where your dad was force fed cheese. I still am. I am certainly going to hell for that.
I suggest you come up with some good stories about your cheese aversion Nicole. If you have to be a non cheese eater, a good story smooths out the discomfort others (we are weird) have with someone not enjoying something they love. Humans are odd and kinship thru food is powerful - look at Chow for evidence.
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re: Sal Vanilla
Feel free to laugh- that's why I started the thread! :} In all honesty, I used to like cheese as a child, if only ricotta in a calzone (and only a pinch of ricotta to bread mind you) or mozzarella on pizza. I stopped eating the calzone in junior high. Then, one day at a mall while 18 and in college, I took a bite of my pizza. Something tasted off. I picked off the cheese and thus began my descent into adulthood cheese hating:} I cannot explain why my taste buds changed, but changed they definitely did. But if you want me to say that I was abducted by green, squishy aliens who abducted me and forcefed me their Plutonian made cheese from their mammal like alien cows, then go ahead!
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re: NicoleFriedman
Ya know, I had the same experience with cheap white wine. One day I was sitting out on the porch sipping a glass of Chuck and I thought "is there a skunk?" No. it was the wine. Just like that (here's where you snap) I found cheap wine completely repellent. All of it. And have since then only let wine above $8 bucks slip past my lips and even then I do it with my sniffer blown clean and my buds of red alert.
You can imagine how well that went over with the Mr. He loves Chuck. NEEDS me to love Chuck (which I find very irritating) and often tries to coax me back over by telling me that the skunk has left the building and has been replaced with fully ripe apricots and a hint of honey.
Like you, I am skeptical. That said, I am very willing to be sent to summer camp and gorged with wine... you now, just to teach me a lesson and to rehab me.
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re: Sal Vanilla
LOL! i'm with you on the Chuck - and any other skunky, cheap swill for that matter - once your palate turns that corner there's no going back ;) it's really too bad you don't live closer to a Trader Joe's or you *might* be able to lower your price point by a dollar or two. every now & then they have a ridiculously good deal on a winner. (so does Costco, particularly if you buy by the case!)
the one food i was able to train myself to like is coconut, and i have Chowhound to thank for that. i've *hated*the texture and flavor since i was a child, but after reading so many posts about delicious-sounding dishes that involved coconut, i was inspired to try & retrain my palate, and it worked...now i actually even snack on dried coconut meat!
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re: c oliver
you know, it's possible i was wrong about that. back in the days when i actually used to buy wine by the case, i didn't have a Costco membership so i would get my father to pick it up for me. i was addicted to a certain 1998 Cabernet Sauvignon that retailed for about $30, but i think the Costco price for a case was around $250 or so (which would put the cost of a bottle at a shade over $20). the price was so good that i assumed there was a volume discount!
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Coming from an asian family, I think an aversion to cheese is almost normal. I just make everything w/ and w/out cheese. I wouldn't refrain unless the smell made them sick but I would accommodate them. Lasagna can be made w/out cheese and that's what I do.
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re: chowser
Having made mac and cheese without the cheese, I'd be curious how you make a cheeseless lasagna! Send a recipe!
I would probably just layer lasagna sheets with very flavorful ground turkey and vegetables, with maybe a layer of a rich bechamel sauce so you won't miss the cheese.
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I guess your aversion is genetic or maybe a bid for unity with your pop!
You SAY you do not deny your family and friends the right to ENJOY their cheese, but I think if you say that their eating it is TORTURE for you, that eating it in your presence could hardly be classified as enjoyment. : ) Food for thought.That said - to your questions:
My husband could not be a cheese hater. If he suddenly developed an aversion to all things cheese, I would put my stash in tupperware until he could go see a hypnotist or a counselor. If he was told that if he ate cheese he would die and the temptation to eat it was overpowering - out the cheese would go - unless he pissed me off. I had a friend in college that ordered pizza without cheese. There was not a soul that found her insufferable. It was a fat thing, not aversion. I might be tempted to attempt a conversion if it were just aversion. Try saying that aloud 10 times!›5 Replies-
re: Sal Vanilla
A conversion if it were an aversion! Woo!
I used "The Man Who Ate Everything" technique to force myself to like olives. It worked. I ate olives a few times a week for a couple months, and after that, I found I started to like olives. http://indirectheat.blogspot.com/2010...
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re: Indirect Heat
I've tried that with yogurt. I'm on the fence with yogurt. I love the creaminess- especially Greek yogurt, but I hate the taste (by itself at least). It really hasn't done anything to my taste buds. However, if you can convince your brain that you like something, maybe that really could work.
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My wife is not a big cheese eater - not as bad as you, she'll take a nibble now and then, but absolutely hates anything with melted cheese (pizza, mac 'n cheese, Tex-Mex, etc).
On the nibbling side, it just means more for me, but it does put a crimp in my dinner menus as I do most of the cooking here. To me, nights when she's out for some reason are always melted cheese nights for me!
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Honestly, I would take a little joy in the thought of more cheese for me :)
I like cheese in general, but very much do not like cheese with veins and/or rinds with mold. Fortunately it seems common enough to not like veined cheeses, so friends and family get it and acquaintances rarely questions it.
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You know, I had a friend whose father hated garlic. So her mother never cooked with it. She was a grown woman before she realized that most people use garlic in Italian cooking. To this day, dinners at her house are "interesting" to say the least.
So to answer your question; No, I wouldn't torture them by eating gorgonzola. I'd change the way I cook and try not to damage the kids. :)
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I, too, am not a fan of cheese, although on things like pizzas and burgers (sometimes) it's more than just ok.
But if you put a fancy-schmancy cheese plate in front of me, I'd rather try to construct a Lego-style building out of the cheese pieces than eat them.
I just roll with the punches.
I'd tell your loved ones not to try and convert you, and if I were you if they presented a 3-cheese lasagna dish in front of you, I'd simply take a small bite and then move on. The more you make an issue out of it, the more your family members will try to make an issue out of it and try to 'convert' you.
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re: ipsedixit
My family wouldn't put a lasagna in front of me, thankfully! But I agree that it's a good idea not to make an issue of food dislikes. As I've said, the only reason I tend to like to bring it up is that people seem to find my hatred of cheese amusing, and I never mind making fun of myself.
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re: ipsedixit
I confess, I don't understand that. It's like "I don't like vegetables" or "I don't like meat". While vegetables do share some common characteristics, a carrot and a zucchini are pretty different. Likewise, a mozzarella and a gorgonzola couldn't be more different. And lamb and chicken are quite different.
That said, chasing someone or hounding them sounds pretty rude. I wouldn't try to convert someone else to like cheese, but the idea that a whole class of pretty diverse food is being ruled out sounds like something other than taste preference.
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re: Indirect Heat
Cheese and vegetables are different.
While vegetables can take on all varieties, shapes, tastes and textures, cheese, all cheeses, share one common characteristic -- namely, curdling. While the textures, tastes and aroma of different cheeses can vary, there is one underlying characteristic that some people (myself included) find unappetizing.
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re: ipsedixit
All vegetables share common characteristics. Growth from the ground, and plant cells. One could hardly know that a boursin and a cheddar came from the same critter, any more than a broccoli and a potato are both from plants.
I'm not disagreeing that people find cheese unpleasant. I'm just saying I doubt it's the taste. Parmesan shares more in common flavourwise with a fermented sopressata than it shares with a cheddar.
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re: NicoleFriedman
"Why would it have to be something other than taste preference?" Here's one example, perhaps fiting or perhaps not: I've heard some folks who dislike cheese(s) compare said cheese to unclean parts of the human body, i.e. "that cheese smells and tastes like stinky feet" The person doesn't like the qualities of stinky feet, and a food product (such as strong cheese) might remind them of that (consciously or unconsciously). Another example, perhaps vulgar but fairly common in the vernacular: "eeew, that stuff tastes like crap"; the individual does not like the smell/sight of excrement, and a particular cheese may too closely recall such shared smells/sights/qualities. In fairness, sometimes when I open a new bag of Fritos, to me it smells like unwashed armpits; but I eat the Fritos anyway, since by middle-age, I've gotten fairly acclimated/accustomed to the aroma of unwashed armpits in the general human population...
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re: linguafood
LOL. I actually think that armpits suffer poor reputations from their actual name/label. In a word, bad publicity. if we as a society instead referred to them as, say, 'mystery caverns' or 'primordial hollows', then perhaps the world would return to an Eden-like state of snack-time innocence :-)
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hmm... my husband chased me thru the kitchen last night with some super-stinky parm. BLECH! I don't HATE cheese, but between my dairy allergy and the general stinky-ness, it isn't something I really crave or want to eat.
well... except cheese on pizza. :)
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