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Nov 29, 2010 10:14 PM

Antigua, GT: Monoloco: Sports bar and dance club serving nachos Apocolypso

Monoloco (crazy monkey) is a sports bar/ restaurant during the day and a club at night. There are lots of tvs playing sports channels. There is a mainly 20-30's crowd, but there were people of all ages there.

Monoloco’s claim to fame is their nachos, including dessert nachos.

There are snack foods such as beer-battered onion rings, sweet potato fries, seven layer dip, chicken wings. and spinach dip.
There are soups, salads, chili, burritos (including Thai or sweet potato), wraps, pizza, smoked ribs, grilled sandwiches, Mexican quesadillas, fajitas plus seven types of burgers including a veggie burger.
Desserts include a brownie sundae, apple pie and chocolate cheesecake. They serve R. Dalton coffee.

In other words, a good bar menu when going out for a few drinks with friends.

Here's what we had rated from A+ to F -

B - ... Nachos Apocolypso
B - ... Fajita Burrito
B - ... Michelada
B - ... Bloody Mary

Service: C Average
Ambiance: C - Slightly below average
Price: $$

Restaurant and bar link with menu, address, phone and other info

Flickr photo stream with more photos

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    Nachos Apocolypso: B - … Very good

    This is something you must order with at least three people sharing and even better, four. No one will leave hungry.

    Everything was good … guacamole, ground beef, and two cheeses. There was also roasted corn salsa, chopped tomatoes, black beans and a squiggle of sour cream.

    I wouldn’t make a special trip here for this, but it was good bar food to share while downing a few brews with friends. There were three of us and one friend made a valiant effort to finish it up and lost … and we were all hungry when we started. The waiter packed up the remaining nachos for him to take home. Don’t plan on ordering anything else but drinks when getting this.

    Fajita Burrito: B - … Very good

    A friend ordered this and took it home. He was nice enough to unwrap it for me so I could take photos.

    He’s from San Francisco and always on the search for a SF Mission burrito in Guatemala. While this wasn’t exactly it, he liked it.

    He had the grilled beef marinated in 7 spices. Other fillings included grilled onions and peppers and seasoned black beans. It came with small cups of pico de gallo, the roasted corn salsa that was on the nachos and guacamole.

    He liked the beef, but didn’t think it was good as some of the carne asada burritos he had in SF.

    Michelada: B - … Very good

    It was a good standard michelada with some kick to the tomato mixture.

    This was the first time I saw Cabro beer. From this post which credits Antigua Daily Photo

    Cabro is made in Xela and is sold only in select locations in Antigua, Panajachel and, of course, Xela; maybe a few, but very few places in Guate city.There´s something about the water in Xela that gives Cabro a different flavor (I´m quoting someone who works at the brewery)."

    It ain’t the water. It’s the hops. Of the six beers brewed in Gautemala, this is the only one with real beer flavor. There a slight, bitter, hoppy edge to it.

    That being said, it is not the best choice for a michelada as it is too strong. My personal choice would be Moza which has a little more body than the other Guatemalan beers but doesn’t take over the taste of this drink.

    Bloody Mary: B - … Very good

    Same tomato base as the michalada and a generous shot of booze.

    Service: C Average

    The drink orders were taken and delivered pronto. The food came in a reasonable amount of time. Servers didn’t engage with customers, but answered questions competently. Snagging the check was the only slow part of the meal, but it wasn’t too bad a wait.

    Ambiance: C - Slightly below average

    There’s a dimly lit downstairs bar with some couches and a larger upstairs dining area with zero décor. IMO, it’s not worth the climb up the stairs. It is functional with tables and tvs. Some of it is marginally open, but there is no real view and there isn’t even much open sky.

    I haven’t seen the disco, but my friend who has been there liked it.

    There is also home delivery available in Antigua.

    All in all, good drinks and decent bar food.

    1. The secret to attracting the tourists and business in Antigua seems to be that the food should be just like home, and if it is similar to a chain such as Applebee’s, TGIF, Cheesecake Factory … even better. Make sure there is lots of booze as well.

      In that Monoloco excels.

      In a slow business climate where the streets of Antigua are so empty that even the ghosts seem to have deserted them, on a Thursday … even in off business hours … Monoloco was bustling.

      I like Monoloco. It is a fun bar scene. I just wish the food didn’t remind me so much of eating in an American chain.

      It is mango season in Guatemala with mountains of many types of mangoes at the markets. So the Mango Festival menu at Monoloco lured me in.

      On the positive side, unlike many Antigua restaurants, Monoloco has electrical outlets for computers. They also have internet access if you need it,

      Here's what I had rated from A+ to F -

      C + .... Mango and avocado salad

      C …… Pulled pork sandwich with mango bbq sauce

      D + … Sweet potato fries

      B …... Monkey punch

      C - …. Cuba libre


      MANGO AND AVOCADO SALAD: C + … Slightly above average

      This came with a sliced chicken breast on top and it just reminded me of something I’d eat at Applebee’s. Each element was fine but there was nothing that pulled this dish together.

      The avocado was perfectly ripe. The mango was on the green side, but ok. Lettuce with crisp, diced red and green bell peppers … fine. The slightly spicy dressing didn’t even work well with each item, never mind pulling the dish together.

      They get a plus for at least trying to do a special dish for mango season.


      The pork had zero flavor … zero. This is in a land of great, piggy, pork. If I didn’t know it was pork I would have never guessed what it was. The thin slices (um, not “pulled”) were tender probably due to the mango. The slightly sweet sauce ddn’t add any flavor either and had no mango taste.

      There were some crisp pickles on the side that were NEEDED to give this sandwich some punch. The Kaiser-like roll was good and elevated the rating to a “C”.

      SWEET POTATO FRIES: D + … Below average

      These were medium cut potatoes that were just hard. There was no soft center left, only the hard outer shell. There was no sweet potato flavor either

      MONKEY PUNCH: B … Above average

      This was a nice white coconut punch and the rum in it was good. I’d order this again.

      CUBA LIBRE: C - … Slightly below average

      Happy hour at most places in Antigua usually means drinks in tiny orange juice glasses … and often they are watered down.

      The waiter combined my 2 for 1 Cuba libras into one medium-sized glass. The rum was funky though and I don’t think that was Coca Cola … but it might be the rum threw the flavor off. To Monoloco’s credit, though the drink was small, they didn’t water it down.

      Monoloco is popular. As a bar, I like it. I just wish they would aim a little higher food-wise and rise above the chain taste. But then again, they don’t need to. They have one of the few successful and packed businesses in Antigua.