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Dumb Diners -- Maybe even YOU?

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Diners as in Eaters.

"""A Miami doctor is suing Hillstone Restaurant Group, parent of the Houston's chain, after a bad experience with an artichoke...... he ate the entire thing, leaves and all.

According to the legal complaint via the Miami New Times, he suffered "severe abdominal pain and discomfort," was admitted to the hospital and an "exploratory laparotomy was performed where artichoke leaves were found lodged within [his] small bowell [sic]."

[...] He's suing for an unspecified amount for "bodily injury, resulting pain and suffering, disability, disfigurement, mental anguish, loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life, medical and nursing care and treatment, and aggravation of pre-existing conditions.""""

""""The lawsuit alleges that the server never asked if Carvajal knew how to eat an artichoke and that the restaurant had a "duty to train its table servers to explain the proper method of consuming an artichoke."""""

http://gawker.com/5692891/doctor-sues...
~~~~~~

<Next he'll sue God for shorting him in the mental department. Now remember, this man graduated from MEDICAL SCHOOL).
~~~~~~~~
Even a complete dolt could tell that the artichoke was not going down gently into that good night. How could he persist? Did he eat the choke itself? That is absolutely, utterly inedible!

When I first ate an artichoke, even I could figure that out. If it is sticking in your throat, piercing your cheeks, or causing a major gag reflex, then stop the eating. Just stop.
~~~~~~~
Who is the stupidest diner that you have ever encountered and what food "challenge" made him "special"?

Will you cop to any of your own? <I'm off the hook with my vague arti-"CHOKE" story>.

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  1. When I moved from Boston to east Texas, folks talked a lot about chicken fried steak, and I didn't know what it was. And I had a high level job where one doesn't ask stupid questions, so for a long time I didn't know whether it was poulty or cattle or both.
    I thought soft shell crabs were really neat and easy because you buy them, sautee them, and eat the whole thing. Then one day a fish monger asked me if he would like for him to clean them for me.
    I'm sure I could go on, but I don't want to win a stupid trifecta.

    2 Replies
    1. re: Veggo

      In order to chew the artichoke leaves enough to swallow them... Well, that guy must have teeth from hell! Or maybe he's a steer and eats silage and tough weeds all the time? He seems to have the brain of one.

      1. re: Caroline1

        Please. What next, suing a BBQ joint when you swallow a rib whole, bone and all?

    2. Would you want that guy to be your doctor?

      2 Replies
      1. re: monku

        He probably knows the hemlock maneuver.

        1. re: monku

          they do say laughter is the best medicine...sounds like this guy is worth at least a couple chuckles at his expense...

        2. can we count the judges on The Next Iron Chef who ate banana peel garnishes? ;)

          4 Replies
          1. re: goodhealthgourmet

            yes -- banana peel garnishes count! thanks ghg!

            1. re: alkapal

              I remember smoking banana peels. And I do not mean offset firebox over hickory.

              1. re: phantomdoc

                me too

                1. re: phantomdoc

                  Bananadine!

            2. Was he alone? Did nobody see him eating it- waiters or other diners? Smells fishy to me.

              At Dim Sum, my friend (a dim sum novice) went to eat the lotus leaf the sticky rice comes in. I saw it, STOPPED HER, and showed her the correct way to eat it.

              13 Replies
              1. re: pdxgastro

                Thank you - a local restaurant has a dish that is described as 'served on a lotus leaf' or something like that, and my husband always thinks of ordering it but hasn't yet - partly because we didn't know if one should eat the leaf or not.

                1. re: occula

                  I can see how someone could eat it by mistake, especially if they're used to eating grape leaves. Well, I can see how someone might try to eat it but I would think it would get stuck going down. But, then again, I would think artichoke leaves would get stuck going down.

                  1. re: chowser

                    As small-town midwesterners, I'm pretty sure neither of us has eaten a grape leaf, or even *seen* a lotus leaf, so we don't know what the dish would look like - but I feel more confident now!

                    The artichoke thing, yeah, *ack*

                    1. re: occula

                      I think except for dolmata (stuffed grape leaves), it's a pretty safe rule in all cuisines that if it's wrapped in a dark green leaf, you're not supposed to eat the leaf.

                      1. re: yfunk3

                        There are many food wrapped in cabbage, spinach, and other greens. But, when you come down to it, try cutting it. If you can't, chances are, it's not meant to be eaten!

                        1. re: chowser

                          Yeah, but everyone knows what cabbage (NOT dark green) and spinach (not usually used as a wrap) and regular lettuces look like.

                          If it looks dark green, has thicker "veins" than usual, is big and tougher to break through with just a fork/spoon, chances are that you're not meant to eat it. With the exception of grape leaves (dolmata).

                        2. re: yfunk3

                          Another exception - laulau. You eat the (dark green) taro leaves that are wrapped around the pork and butterfish. On the other hand, the dish also follows your rule - the taro-wrapped bundle is inside a wrap of ti leaves, which you don't eat.

                          1. re: alanbarnes

                            I've seen people try. Its really pathetic with those plastic knives and forks they give you at luaus.

                  2. re: pdxgastro

                    The first true Tamale I ever done saw went into me wrapper and all, and I couldn't understand why everybody raved about them, because I was still chewing.....

                    1. re: mamachef

                      LOL, they were that good?! thanks for the giggle mc!

                      1. re: chef chicklet

                        ....and it was a husk wrapper. How chagrined was I when I looked up (gnaw, gnaw, gnaw) and saw what other people were doing first, e.g. taking them out of the husk. I wandered around with horrible shreddy fibers in my mouth for the rest of the day. The difficulty I had cutting into the damn thing should've tipped me off, but noooooo......

                        1. re: mamachef

                          I also ate the husk wrappers the first time I had tamales. It was at my very first "real" job while I was in college, and we had a little holiday potluck lunch. I ate three of them before someone stopped me. They seemed a bit chewy, but what did I know? I wasn't exposed to much in the way of ethnic (or real, for that matter) food as a young'un. Doh.

                      2. re: mamachef

                        Late to the game, but LMAO, mc... :)

                    2. I used to eat the tails on shrimp whenever they were served as an appetizer. It never occurred to me that I wasn't supposed to toss the entire thing into my mouth.

                      34 Replies
                      1. re: Reston

                        mr. alka likes shrimp tails, especially when they're fried shrimp.

                        high fiber, huh? ;^D.

                        1. re: alkapal

                          I still eat the tails of fried shrimp... the batter hides the tail so I just pretend I don't notice.

                          1. re: Reston

                            So would my sister but she knew she wasn't supposed to eat them.

                          2. re: alkapal

                            Not to be a nerd, but shrimp shells are chitin, not fiber. But I sure do like eating them. :)

                            1. re: joonjoon

                              i know they aren't fiber, which is veg, but they ACT like fiber, don't they -- mean, harsh fiber? back in the day, we'd call it "roughage" LOL

                              1. re: joonjoon

                                Yuck! Shrimp tails may be chitin, but isn't it like eating fingernails?? Blech! My boss at a pizza shop accidently purchased tail-on shrimp instead of tail-off. We didn't notice the switch until a customer asked us to warn them next time about the tails! I had to have an oddly long discussion with my boss on why that might be a problem. "Big deal, can't they just pick them off?" he asked. I had to remind him, "Not when they're hidden under cheese."

                              2. re: alkapal

                                The tails I could manage, it's the fried heads that I can't abide!

                                1. re: bayoucook

                                  I'll eat yours!

                              3. re: Reston

                                I love eating the tails on fried shrimp, but I started out not eating them when I was younger. Will even occasionally eat the tails on steamed shrimp. It's all edible, doesn't really hurt my mouth if I'm careful, doesn't hurt my stomach or digestive system... It's not a freakin' artichoke! LOL!

                                1. re: Reston

                                  If they're cooked really crispy, the tails can be nice.

                                  1. re: Reston

                                    I eat the tails and shells of shrimp, even if they're steamed. Lovely flavor.

                                    1. re: Reston

                                      I also used to eat the tails. I didnt know I wasnt supposed to..

                                      1. re: hungryabbey

                                        I don't think there's a set rule about shrimp tails/shells as there is for an artichoke. It's pretty much a personal preference, especially if you're used to eating shrimp dishes in Asian cuisines.

                                        Personally, if there's sauce on the shrimp and the shell's still on, I just eat the whole thing. Heh heh.

                                        1. re: yfunk3

                                          That's the hardest thing for me to eat. I don't like swallowing the shell because the texture is too rough; I don't like spitting out because I don't like spitting out a mouthful of chewed up food; peeling it is messy, plus you get rid of the sauce. It's a great dish, though. Call me Goldilocks, with no little bear option.

                                          1. re: chowser

                                            Properly done 'salt & pepper shrimp' would comprise crispy fried shrimp with shell and tails (and even heads) on. They're scrumptious eaten entire, with nothing needing to come back out of your mouth. When they start getting cooler (not as warm anymore) they do start to lose their crispness and if I have completely cooled down shrimp still left on the plate then, yes, I would start leaving the tails behind, then maybe start peeling them. It isn't hard to do it with chopsticks and just your teeth, no need to use your fingers.

                                            1. re: huiray

                                              I wasn't thinking of salt and pepper shrimp but I still don't like the shells in that prep either. I like to peel my persimmons, too, because I don't like the texture of the skin.

                                              1. re: chowser

                                                When it comes to shrimp (among other things) eating too much is way better than eating too little. I hate when I serve shrimp cocktail and people only eat the body and toss the tail, letting a huge chuck of meat by the tail go to waste.

                                                And don't even get me started on people who toss shrimp heads...that's the best part!

                                                1. re: joonjoon

                                                  Heh, with the tail meat, I always think, "You couldn't even press the meat out with your teeth? Come on!" But I'm uncouth like that. Heh.

                                                  1. re: joonjoon

                                                    i tend to leave the tails behind but i make sure to bite it in a way that the meat all comes out...so i really am just discarding the shell.

                                                    1. re: pie22

                                                      Wish I could do what a Chinese friend can do...completely shell a shrimp inside her mouth and take the bare shell out of her mouth with chopsticks to daintily place on her plate.

                                                      1. re: buttertart

                                                        ...and the way to get to Carnegie Hall is...

                                                        1. re: huiray

                                                          Something to aspire to.

                                                        2. re: buttertart

                                                          she tie a knot in it with her tongue, too? cuz that would be *real* talent :-D

                                                          1. re: linguafood

                                                            Just about. The coolest thing was how classily it was done, very subtle, didn't realize what was happening until oops there goes the shell. Classy lady.

                                                            1. re: buttertart

                                                              Was this with the head on? Because I don't do this, but I know I can do it if it's just the body and tail...

                                                              1. re: yfunk3

                                                                Oh, the head gets bitten off by me and crunched up and eaten first! (Of course!) Then, if the rest of the shrimp is not too large, yes I can do it too, but my mouth motions wouldn't be completely unnoticeable. :-)

                                                                1. re: yfunk3

                                                                  They were headless. And the lady in question is from an illustrious background.

                                                                  1. re: buttertart

                                                                    Heh. Didn't mean to imply I'm classy or as classy as this lady friend of yours. I could probably do it, but it would probably involve lots of drooling and spitting. :o)

                                                                    1. re: yfunk3

                                                                      Oh well, we can all start practicing in front of mirrors to refine our technique. Something to aspire to.

                                                            2. re: buttertart

                                                              like the kids today say:

                                                              pics or it didnt happen

                                                              1. re: thew

                                                                1980, darling. Barely had cameras then. Have a witness.

                                                                1. re: buttertart

                                                                  no vicarious enjoyment from a witness ;)

                                                                  1. re: thew

                                                                    It really was something (must have been to be remembered 30 years later).

                                              2. re: Reston

                                                Huh? You're not?

                                              3. I wonder if he is actually suing the restaurant based on the "duty to rescue". That is, if the restaurant knew he was eating the wrong way, the restaurant has a duty to correct it -- instead of laughing quietly.

                                                6 Replies
                                                1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                                  laughing quietly? really, do you think? Im guessing they were sneaking out back and laughing their heads off. Used to be very common for Japanese tourists to eat the orchids that were used as garnish at a lot of touristy restaurants here. Turns out it did no harm, so maybe it wasn't that stupid, but waiters used to get a kick out of it. Big appetizer item now is soybeans (edamame) usually served steamed and salted. Visitors from the mainland have been known to grind the whole pod and swallow. Maybe not an artichoke (but short of rose or blackberry stems what would be?) but sure a lot of roughage in that. Of course I know that some people who consider the skin or jacket of a baked potato to be something to be discarded, such a waste. And yes, I have seen people eating, more to the point - trying to eat the tough outer layer of Ti leaves on lau-lau, Not poisonous, the Ti root was steamed like sweet potato or taro during times of famine, the rest of the time it was fermented, at least after contact with westerners. And while not eating it, a friend of my parents once picked this huge bunch of beautiful red leaves in the spring time in California to use as a centerpiece on the table with a few leaves on each plate as a garnish. Seems she had never heard of poison oak......

                                                  1. re: KaimukiMan

                                                    As a rule, a chef should never serve something that cannot be safely consumed, even as a garnish. I've never had lau lau, and I would have assumed I can eat the whole thing unless someone told me. If the outer leaves are poisonous, I would hope the chef stops serving the dish to hapless tourists so he doesn't go to jail for murder! :}

                                                    1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                      My husband was served some kind of appetizer on a "bed" of decorative seaweed, which was apparently not meant to be eaten (I'm sure it wasn't harmful, just not very tasty). I think it's really wrong to put something you're not supposed to eat on your plate, looking like *maybe* you're supposed to eat it.

                                                      1. re: DGresh

                                                        How about oysters on the half-shell, presented on a bed of ice, on...yes, a plate? Or linguine alla vongole with clams in their shells, all tossed together and presented on...yes, a plate? Or escargot on...yes, a plate? Or lor mai kai [chicken and mushrooms in glutinous rice] wrapped in a lotus leaf presented on...yes, a plate? Or the plentiful dried chili peppers in a stir-fried Szechuan dish especially of the 'ma-la' character variety, presented on...yes, a plate? Or the artichokes of the OP presented on...yes, a plate? Chicken or fish in parchment? Etc etc etc.....

                                                        1. re: huiray

                                                          I think it's a little disingenous to compare an oyster shell to seaweed. Clearly seaweed is often eaten. Just not in this case.

                                                          1. re: DGresh

                                                            OK, I will accept that sling. However, I was and am perplexed by the implied and extended notion that anything put on a plate ought to be edible, or that one should not use one's own powers of observation and judgement before putting anything on one's plate into one's mouth.

                                                2. Just last night we took the kids out to sushi for dinner and were reminiscing about how the first time I took their farther to a sushi restaurant how he immediately grabbed his chopsticks and popped the entire ball of wassabi into his mouth! That experience was shortly followed by ingesting an entire dried chili in a bowl of Chinese noodle soup. Yes, he was fresh off the boat way back then!

                                                  12 Replies
                                                  1. re: marsprincess

                                                    I wasn't sure what to do with wasabi, either when I first tried sushi. I spread a thin layer of it on a piece of sushi. That sure cleared the sinuses.

                                                    1. re: marsprincess

                                                      One of the first times I had sushi, I thought the pickled ginger was a chunk of salmon, so I just popped the whole thing into my mouth and ate it. Oy.

                                                      1. re: occula

                                                        ha! see, i love pickled ginger and would eat it like that knowing what it was...and if ispedixit chimes in, i bet he'll say the same thing :)

                                                        at least it wasn't wasabi paste!

                                                        1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                                          hah, no kidding! It was just a surprise, not a prolonged sinus-scorcher. :)

                                                        2. re: occula

                                                          i as well looove pickled ginger - i always want to ask for more - but never actually have.

                                                        3. re: marsprincess

                                                          > he immediately popped the entire ball of wassabi into his mouth!

                                                          Same thing happened to my father. Enthusiasm followed by steam coming out of his ears!
                                                          I'll bet this is not uncommon.

                                                          1. re: GraydonCarter

                                                            followed by the sushi restaurant that hid a sizable ball of wasabi UNDER the shrimp, completely undetectable until you bit into it. You only did that ONCE...then you deconstructed the sushi, removed the wad of hellfire, then rebuilt your sushi.

                                                            Then there was the guy at the sushi bar who painstakingly removed the nori "belt" that held the smoked eel on the rice. "You'd think for what you're paying for it that they'd peel the damned thing." (I'm pretty amazed I didn't choke to death on my water on that one.)

                                                            1. re: sunshine842

                                                              I'd like to think I would have the same restraint, but I'm afraid the water would have shot through my nose.

                                                              1. re: gaffk

                                                                I think it was the fear of the ignominy of drowning in my water glass at the sushi bar that saved me.

                                                                I started to laugh, thinking it was a joke, then realized that he was SERIOUS. When he left, there was a little pile of nori strips in the middle of his plate.

                                                                OMG.

                                                                1. re: sunshine842

                                                                  I guess he was lucky that *you* didn't want to embarrass yourself ;)

                                                              2. re: sunshine842

                                                                OMG! That is a stitch! Great thread.

                                                              3. re: GraydonCarter

                                                                I did that too, with wasabi!!!!! The chef made a beautiful flower shape from the wasabi paste- and before anyone could tell me not to- I wasn't familar at first- I said oh isn;t this beautifull and then popped the whole thing in my mouth! Yowza!!! I lost my breath- sweat poured down my forehead- my ears burned- I thought I would pass out! When I came back to awareness, everyone was laughing at me. I must have been quite a sight!

                                                            2. And for desert, the good doctor ate the centerpiece.

                                                              1 Reply
                                                              1. re: beevod

                                                                LOL!!!!!!!

                                                              2. Folks, we've removed a number of posts about the U.S. legal system. That's a bit too far off topic for Chowhound.

                                                                1. The first time my wife and I had soft shell crab we picked all of the meat out of the shells. We thought it was delicious, but not worth all of the work.

                                                                  1. A friend of my mother's cooked a rutebaga whole, with the peel AND the wax. couldn't figure out why it took so long to boil, WHAT was floating on top of it... etc.

                                                                    yuck

                                                                    3 Replies
                                                                    1. re: jujuthomas

                                                                      Well, This Artichoke connoisseur is an example of "I expect life to be risk free"........guess what it "ain't"

                                                                      1. re: ospreycove

                                                                        We can "MAKE" life risk free, just like the fact that we can make sure no one suffers from hunger and no one suffers from dieases.

                                                                        1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                                                          cHEM.....Sad to say, it will not happen in our lifetime, or for many centuries to come.

                                                                    2. My father many years ago was captain on a US Navy ship. One of the fellows who cooked for the officers must have had pastry chef training--my dad said he had to put up with pink mashed potato roses and orange mashed potato roses and blue mashed potato roses. But one evening when he put a *horseradish* rose into his mouth thinking it was mashed potatoes, he threw the food coloring overboard.

                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                      1. re: blue room

                                                                        oh my lord! that's hilarious and awful all at once!

                                                                      2. My uncle by marriage, and a native of the great state of Ohio, attempted to eat the husk on his tamale directly he moved to Texas. He was singularly unsucessful.

                                                                        Nowadays he can kick my ass at making fajitas.

                                                                        14 Replies
                                                                        1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                          I did that. The boyfriend (who is still with me), just said, "Interesting. Most people remove the husk first." And then I noticed he was trying not to laugh. I had already realized that something was amiss.

                                                                          1. re: onceadaylily

                                                                            And are you also now a fajita queen par excellence?

                                                                            1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                              Maybe not a *queen* (she said modestly). But I try. I have not yet the confidence to undertake tamale making, though.

                                                                              1. re: onceadaylily

                                                                                Same here with the tamales, and I doubt I'll ever give them a shot. I suspect I could pull it off, but why go to all that trouble and mess when I can get perfectly good ones in local restos and from wizened abuelas with their mobile tamale carts?

                                                                                1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                                  The closest I can get here is the mother of someone who once worked for the boyfriend, and she only makes them once or twice a year, with portions allotted upon upon request. Luckily, we're in the loop at least once annually.

                                                                                  1. re: onceadaylily

                                                                                    Right around Thanksgiving, the abuelas and old stoves in East Oakland start selling handmade tamales. Just take a drive through any given neighborhood from the 60's on down, and you'll see them trundling their carts through the 'hood, or selling them from a steamer/holder held in the trunk of their car, at the local mall parking lot. Pork, Chicken, olive, beef.........all outstanding.

                                                                                    1. re: mamachef

                                                                                      You. Are. Killing. Me.

                                                                                      I can't get food on the streets of this suburb, unless I want to hunt a pigeon. Even in Toledo, you could at least get a damn hotdog on my way to your (ticketed) car.

                                                                                      Olive tamales, on your way in to the mall. Killing me.

                                                                                  2. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                                    It's actually a lot of fun. :) Come on down to the Snyder area in about a week or two, Perilagu, and bring the beer!

                                                                                    (ETA: This "fun" lie is proper tamale-etiquette, btw. You beg, borrow or press-gang anyone you know into masa-spreading service however you can manage it.)

                                                                                  3. re: onceadaylily

                                                                                    I once made 100 mini-tamales for my ex's milestone birthday. He and his pals, all of whom were born and raised in Texas, said that my tamales could stand up to anything they'd ever had in their home state.

                                                                                    I was thrilled, as I'd never made them before, but Christ, what a pain in the butt. Never again.

                                                                                    1. re: sunshine842

                                                                                      I'm going to concentrate on the 'thrilled', and not the 'never again'. Next year, I mean.

                                                                              2. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                                My first thought on this thread was when Gerald Ford was campaigning in San Antonio, he tried to eat the tamale husk and all.

                                                                                (But I never knew that anyone anywhere else had ever done the same thing!)

                                                                                Mine? To this day, I still smear a small dab of wasabi directly onto my sashimi or sushi. I just like it that way.

                                                                                1. re: DoobieWah

                                                                                  Heh. That's what I do because the wasabi always sinks to the bottom if I mix it with the soy sauce, and I get mostly soy sauce and hardly any wasabi...

                                                                                  1. re: yfunk3

                                                                                    Well, I love the wasabi but just barely dip into the soy. My itamae have forgiven me.

                                                                                    Finally.

                                                                                2. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                                  My father did the same.

                                                                                3. In the mid 1970s, my parents took a visiting friend of my grandmother's out to dinner one night to a popular restaurant near their home in California. The lady had never seen an artichoke (she was from a very small town in Alabama), so my mother urged her to order one. She did and shortly thereafter, her plate was clean. My parents said they never actually saw her eat the thing, but were concerned that they'd be driving her to the ER later. For years, they joked about Mrs. S______, who had eaten an entire artichoke. Later on, an aunt told them that Mrs S____ had confessed to her that she had been uncertain how to eat the artichoke, and not wishing to offend, had scooped it in its entirety into her purse.

                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                  1. re: Isolda

                                                                                    I loved that story, Isolda, thank you for making me LOL!!!

                                                                                  2. Reminds me of meeting my dad for lunch for sushi. He was a little late and I had already ordered edamame. He sat down and picked up on of the discarded shells and chewed on it for a few seconds before I told him that eat was supposed to eat the bean, not the fiber-y shell.

                                                                                    7 Replies
                                                                                    1. re: DCLindsey

                                                                                      You know what, though? All these shell, pod, leaf, and husk-eaters are pretty awesome for just diving right in to something obviously unfamiliar. (But artichoke in the purse lady -- not so much.)

                                                                                      1. re: Pia

                                                                                        No kidding Pia, I LOVE it!!!

                                                                                      2. re: DCLindsey

                                                                                        I actually sort of like the shells and have been known to eat them!

                                                                                        1. re: DCLindsey

                                                                                          haha - i have a friend who is constantly bragging about the expensive dinners that the doctors practice she works for takes her on. so one day a few of us went out for sushi and i ordered edamame for the table and low and behold the braggart popped an edamame shell and all into her mouth and said, i don't really get why you like these so much. keep in mind myself and the other diner at the table were popping the shells open and eating the beans by the pieces.

                                                                                          1. re: pie22

                                                                                            My SO did that once during a work lunch. She didn't know to shell them, and pretended to like them that way when someone asked what she was eating them whole.

                                                                                            I probably would have done the same thing, never having eaten edamame before.

                                                                                            1. re: ratbuddy

                                                                                              yeah i guess i came across harsh - i found it more funny because of the type of person my friend is.
                                                                                              sorry i wanted to explain in case i offended anyone.

                                                                                            2. re: pie22

                                                                                              I've actually done something like this. The pods of the soybean are edible if you remove the strings (along with the ends) and the part that's like a plastic liner.

                                                                                          2. When I was 8 or 9 or so, I had a potato salad with - what I thought - were sliced pickles. Not so. They were sliced jalapeños, this at a time when I wasn't even close to liking spicy foods. I ended up drinking so much ice water that evening it gave me stomach pains for the rest of the night.

                                                                                            29 Replies
                                                                                            1. re: linguafood

                                                                                              With a correct quantity of thin slices, I really like the idea, though.

                                                                                              1. re: Veggo

                                                                                                Oh, I *love* the idea now! In fact, one of my favorite potato salad recipes has hot chilis in it:

                                                                                                http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/art...

                                                                                                But as a kid... not so much. Plus the pain was rather unbearable that night - I musta frozen my stomach lining or something. Ugh.

                                                                                              2. re: linguafood

                                                                                                Should have gone with milk, not ice water. Milk, for I am sure scientific reasons I don't know, is the best for cutting the heat.

                                                                                                1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                  Another thing I know now, but didn't at the tender age of 8, neither did my mom, as we weren't eating spicy stuff back then. In fact, if anything, yogurt or bread are better than any liquid which just ends up spreading the heat everywhere else.

                                                                                                  1. re: linguafood

                                                                                                    Yes, bread is generally available on all tables/kitchens and helps so much better than water.

                                                                                                    Then again, I grew up in a household that grew jalapenos in the garden, so I guess I learned at a very early age. And strangely, it did not become a food scar--I still love jalapenos (and peppers of all kinds).

                                                                                                  2. re: gaffk

                                                                                                    Yes, milk or yogurt are helpful in calming a capsaicin scorched tongue, but so is honey or sugar. I prefer honey to sugar, but whatever is at hand!

                                                                                                    1. re: Caroline1

                                                                                                      Best thing ever to relieve the burn is peanut butter.

                                                                                                      I would give a spoonful to my daughter when she was learning to eat chiles and got into one that was too hot for her. Now there isn't much that is too hot for her.

                                                                                                      Daddy's little girl.

                                                                                                      1. re: chileheadmike

                                                                                                        Buttermilk!

                                                                                                        1. re: chileheadmike

                                                                                                          On my first visit to a Szecuhan restaurant in NYC in the early 1970's I saw a pepper laying across the dish of food. Wanting to experience new things i took a tiny nibble from the end. No real taste or heat i took a larger amount. It felt like a hot needle burning a hole in one spot of my tongue. Being part of mis-spent youth in Rock n Roll, I had asked another diner at the table if they had any ( controlled substance derived from a leaf in Columbia). She had and gave it to me. It worked very well and I have been enjoying Szechuan food ever since. I am curious. What to do with dishes that are served with 50 small peppers scattered among the dish?

                                                                                                          1. re: phantomdoc

                                                                                                            You don't eat the peppers on those jillion pepper dishes, they're there to give the food a spicy/toasty chili flavor, actually not that hot.

                                                                                                            1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                              Oh yeah? I always eat a few.

                                                                                                              1. re: chileheadmike

                                                                                                                Then you are aptly named. My Chinese nickname is honglajiao (red hot pepper) but I don't go THAT far. Maybe a little nibble here and there.

                                                                                                                1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                  Oh man, I LOVE those dried red peppers. They're smoky, and crunchy... some of them have little heat, others - holy shit: big time! I made the mistake of snacking on some of the leftover peppers in the dry-fried chicken dish. Had no rice left either. Ouch. But a good pain, kinda sorta '-)

                                                                                                                  1. re: linguafood

                                                                                                                    back in high school a group of us were at the local Chinese place for someone's birthday dinner. one of my friends apparently mistook the red chillies in one of the dishes for strips of red bell pepper, speared several on her fork (yes, she was using a fork) and popped them in her mouth. i'll NEVER forget the shade of purple her face turned! she was jumping up & down and crying hysterically (a bit of a drama queen, that one), and the servers were racing around practically tripping over each other trying to figure out what to do to help her. they finally brought her a dish of ice cream...worked like a charm :)

                                                                                                                    1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                                                                                                      Had that happen to a not-very-culinarily-sophisticated friend in a Mexican place out West a few years ago. He scooped up a forkful of what he thought was shredded carrots. Turned out to be shredded habanero. Very amusing! Though not for him, of course...

                                                                                                                      1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                                                                                                        Ice cream!
                                                                                                                        We once went out for sushi, and my 2 year old niece saw us all dipping our food in the soy-wasabi mix. She took her bread and did the same thing before we could stop her! She cried and cried. Thankfully the wait staff was kind. After realizing what had happened, they brought out some ice cream which not only soothed her burning mouth but calmed her down.

                                                                                                        2. re: gaffk

                                                                                                          Capsaicin is fat soluble, the fat in the milk picks it up off the tongue better than water.

                                                                                                          1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                            Thank you! I knew there had to be a reasonable explanation.

                                                                                                            1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                              Also explains why whenever I drink skim milk, it does not help the burn. At all.

                                                                                                            2. re: gaffk

                                                                                                              "Milk, for I am sure scientific reasons I don't know, is the best for cutting the heat."
                                                                                                              ~~~~~~~~~~
                                                                                                              the casein in milk actually draws the capsaicin away from the nerve endings in your mouth and tongue, thereby easing the heat/pain.

                                                                                                            3. re: linguafood

                                                                                                              several years ago, poor mr. alka took a big old chomp out of a whole grilled jalapeño at rio grande (uncle julio's) café. his eyes got big, his mouth opened, and he grabbed the water. i thought he was going to pass out, because it was a hot jalapeño.

                                                                                                              1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                Late to the thread, but...

                                                                                                                Shortly after Barb and I met, I took her to a non-gringofied Mexican place in East Austin. Whoever made the pico de gallo hadn't been very careful with the knife work, and there in the bowl was a chunk of serrano pepper as big as the tip of my little finger. Barb asked if it was hot, and I said "only about ten times hotter than a jalapeno."

                                                                                                                She thought I was joking (being from Ohio, the notion that anything could be spicier than a jalapeno was implausible) and popped it in her mouth. I've never seen anybody turn so red so fast. She was drinking beer straight from the pitcher. And the rest, as they say, is history...

                                                                                                                1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                  So it was the chugging of the beer straight from the pitcher that made you realize she was the one?

                                                                                                                  1. re: joe777cool

                                                                                                                    No, I just married her before she sobered up.

                                                                                                                    1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                      Good move!

                                                                                                                      1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                        I think so. She's not so sure, even after almost 20 years.

                                                                                                                        1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                          Give her some time; she'll come around.

                                                                                                                          1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                            Great story!

                                                                                                                      2. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                        Great come-back. This one needs to be trade-marked!

                                                                                                                        Hunt

                                                                                                              2. I have an ex who ate an entire raw steak. It had been marinated, so he figured the brown color meant it had been cooked.

                                                                                                                2 Replies
                                                                                                                1. re: Heatherb

                                                                                                                  For some folks, that IS cooked. ;)

                                                                                                                  1. re: Heatherb

                                                                                                                    Steak Tartar without the knife action! Ain't nothin' wrong with that!

                                                                                                                  2. Oh, and then there was the time my father came to the table for dinner. Mom had put out a poutporri simmer stand for atmosphere, but Pop knew we were having chutney that night so...

                                                                                                                    He didn't actually end up eating it - Mom shrieked as soon as he demanded to know if the chutney (which she had on the kitchen counter with her) had sugar in it because it smelled sweet. He was just spooning some of her Christmas blend onto his plate when she stopped him.

                                                                                                                    2 Replies
                                                                                                                    1. re: Heatherb

                                                                                                                      Hilarious, I am going to put some chutney into my poutporri burner to make my house smell my kind of delicious !

                                                                                                                      1. re: missclaudy

                                                                                                                        just make a batch of homemade cranberry sauce. Makes the house smell fabulous!

                                                                                                                    2. I've told this story on another thread, but one of the first times I went out for sushi, as a kid, I ate the decorative chrysanthemum leaf. It wasn't very good.

                                                                                                                      4 Replies
                                                                                                                      1. re: small h

                                                                                                                        When I was elementary school-age, we visited a Mongolian barbecue restaurant in Lubbock, Texas. Oh, I thought it was so worldly and exotic! I was all in to the experience, so I dutifully took my empty plate up to the buffet where I filled it with beautiful vegetables and raw meat.

                                                                                                                        I then took a seat back at our table to begin eating, not wanting to wait for the rest of my party.

                                                                                                                        It was urgently communicated to me before I got too far that I needed to visit the gentleman at the giant wok before proceeding.

                                                                                                                        Aaaaahhhh....

                                                                                                                        1. re: deepfriedkudzu

                                                                                                                          Hey, if it *looks* like a salad bar...

                                                                                                                          1. re: deepfriedkudzu

                                                                                                                            Heh heh.

                                                                                                                            How long ago was this? And was it the Great Wall on 18th and University, perchance?

                                                                                                                            1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                                                                              It was early/mid '80s. Can't remember the name of the restaurant. Do you live there now? Probably not too many Mongolian barbecue places at that time in Lubbock.

                                                                                                                        2. well, I will say that the first time my hubby saw an artichoke (which was also his first or second night in California after growing up in Central PA), he was floored. No idea how to eat it. Asked his dining companion, who proceeded to demonstrate. At first he was sure his DC was pulling his leg ('so much waste'). Indeed, he still didn't know how to eat the heart (DC never bothered to show him that part, I guess) until after he met me. First time we ate them together of course I asked, 'if you don't like the the heart, can I have it please?'. He: 'huh?' :-)

                                                                                                                          however, hubby is not stupid. But then, he knew enough to ask, and that he didn't eat the entire leaf...

                                                                                                                          5 Replies
                                                                                                                          1. re: susancinsf

                                                                                                                            i am actually quite "afraid" of ordering artichokes in restaurants for this reason, i know the stems are a pluck and suck type of method...how do you eat the heart?

                                                                                                                            1. re: pie22

                                                                                                                              Well, you're right about the pluck-and-scrape method, and the further into the 'choke you get, the more of the leaf you'll be able to eat. Never, ever the whole leaf though. When you've got a small "core", twist out the remainder of the leaves and use a spoon to scrape out the fibrous choke, and be sure to get all the little hairs with a good scrape. What you've got left is the heart which should be cut and dipped into whatever sauce you're using and then conveyed directly to your mouth, or if at home, eaten in bites holding the whole heart in my fingers and dipping. (That sounds positively Lecter-ish, doesn't it?)

                                                                                                                              1. re: mamachef

                                                                                                                                haha thanks! i look forward to trying it!

                                                                                                                                1. re: mamachef

                                                                                                                                  as much as i love artichokes, i don't order whole ones when i am out because the pluck-and-scrape just seems impolite in public! hearts? i can eat a mountain of 'em!

                                                                                                                                  1. re: hotoynoodle

                                                                                                                                    I agree, htn. I think it's why they're not served whole in better restaurants - the whole dissection and eating with your hands business. Best arties I EVER had were at the Hitching Post near Santa Maria, but they split them and de-choked them and then grilled them over a smoky fire and served them with a smoked tomato-chili mayonnaise. Much easier to eat, and much more sightly than digging and scraping and food-wrassling.

                                                                                                                            2. My pa gulled me into chuffing a slice of zucchini that I thought was probably cucumber. I still haven't fully recovered.

                                                                                                                              3 Replies
                                                                                                                              1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                                                                                Nothing wrong with raw zucchini, and they're NOT waxed the way store bought cucumbers are. I use raw zucchini is salads fairly often. Not just tossed green salads, but also diced in pasta salads and such. Good stuff!

                                                                                                                                1. re: Caroline1

                                                                                                                                  My best friend slices them up straight out of her garden and eats them with dip like they were potato chips or tortilla chips...

                                                                                                                                  1. re: Heatherb

                                                                                                                                    i as well slice them up super thin and eat them straight tossed with lemon juice, salt and pepper....like a zucchini carpaccio/ceviche type of thing.

                                                                                                                              2. I got into a jalapeno eating contest at Okey Joes in Albuquerque in '71, on a Sat night. I ate 19 and came in second. Was sick 'til Tuesday. Talk about after burn! It was the beer's fault.

                                                                                                                                29 Replies
                                                                                                                                1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                  That's not dumb, it's awesome. Passawsumkeg.

                                                                                                                                  1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                    Ran into a similar issue back when I was a kid. At my grandparents house, my cousin and I were inspired to try to replicate the egg eating contest from the movie "Cool Hand Luke"..

                                                                                                                                    So we went to my grandfather's bar, where he had several old 5 gallon glass jars filled with pickled eggs, along with some filled with pickled pigs feet and pickled sausages. So we commenced to eating pickled eggs like there was no tomorrow.

                                                                                                                                    Needless to say, I'll never do that again.

                                                                                                                                    1. re: deet13

                                                                                                                                      Was your grandfather's bar in Pa. or NJ?

                                                                                                                                      1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                        Do yo mean we're the only ones to server pickled eggs in bars?

                                                                                                                                        1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                          Pigs feet? Sounds slavic to me. No pickled kolbasa?

                                                                                                                                          1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                            Not pickled, and not at bars. But nothing wrong with a good kielbasa fried with onions and served with a hearty Polish mustard.

                                                                                                                                            1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                              Lehigh, Carbon and Schookill Cos. all bars had pickled kolbasa in the day. Only snobby Philly bars do not!

                                                                                                                                              1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                what's "kolbasa?"

                                                                                                                                                1. re: linguafood

                                                                                                                                                  @lingua, it's just another spelling for kielbasa.

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                                                                                                                                    which language?

                                                                                                                                                  2. re: linguafood

                                                                                                                                                    It's what I would call kielbasi--a polish sausage; very tasty when diced, fried with onions and served with a strong brown mustard.

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                                      yes, i am familiar with kielbasa. i just had never seen it spelled or pronounced as kolbasa. thus the confusion.

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: linguafood

                                                                                                                                                        Maybe it's a New Mexico thing? Pass will have to clarify.

                                                                                                                                                        But now I am strangely craving some kielbasa and onions, despite my panko chicken and rice dinner.

                                                                                                                                                      2. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                                        kielbasi is plural. One kielbasa, 3 kolbasi.
                                                                                                                                                        No matter which way I spell it creates confusion.
                                                                                                                                                        I'll just start using the cyrillic type.
                                                                                                                                                        Just finished some pad thigh.

                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                          Or Pad Thai? Pad Thigh might be nasty ;)

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                            pdk - ahahha!

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                              Personally I prefer some spicy pad wings.

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                                                Actually it was shrimpy shrimp Pad Thai, no oxymoronic jumbo shrimp for this guy.
                                                                                                                                                                I just remember hugely over tipping at an expensive Philly restaurant, on a first date, while in college. Thirty percent????

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                                  I hope she was duly impressed.

                                                                                                                                                              2. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                                Good one !

                                                                                                                                                          2. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                            Nay my friend. "Real" Philly bars had pickled eggs until the 80s at least.

                                                                                                                                                            But then, never pickled kielbasi--that's what my sister's in-laws served whenever we went to their home.

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                              c'mon Pass, it's Schuylkill, not Schookill! ;)

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                                                                                                                                                It's just kielbasa. Kielbasi and kolbasa are just mispronunciations like 'mootzadell' and 'rigoat' and so on.

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                                                                                                                                                  Often known as "shore kill" around here ;)

                                                                                                                                                                  Dad used to give us a quarter if we could spell it right.

                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                                                                                                                                                    Gud spelers r borne notte maid.

                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                                      But good spellers of "Schuylkill" are made, not born.

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                                                        not necessarily! Mom was born in *Schuylkill* County, and she knows how to spell it :)

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                                                                                                                                                          And that is why Updike advises us to love them because they are there ;)

                                                                                                                                                                          There really is no better reason for love.

                                                                                                                                                          3. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                            Nah his little joint was down here in Florida, until he sold the property to developers in the 1980's. Then ran the bar from our local Elks club until the 90's.

                                                                                                                                                            The pickled eggs, pigs feet, and sausage he made from scratch. The local phosphate mining crews used to hit the joint after work, since it was just off-site, and dirt cheap.

                                                                                                                                                      3. At a Thai restaurant with colleagues, we decided to order the platter/set menu for 8 or 10 or however many of us there were that night.

                                                                                                                                                        The chili fish was delicious, and I decided to have a second portion. No problem - except for the tiny little bastard of a hot pepper hiding UNDER the piece of fish on my fork. Holy God - now I know what those cartoon characters feel like when their eyes bug out and steam whistles out of their ears.

                                                                                                                                                        ***

                                                                                                                                                        At Mise en Place in Tampa, they used to bring roasted heads of garlic in a basket full of their homemade breads. You were SUPPOSED to squeeze the roasted garlic onto the bread. Yum.

                                                                                                                                                        The guy at the next table proceeded to be a complete tool to the very knowledgeable and friendly waiter, asking minute details about every ingredient, second-guessing the methods of preparation, and generally making a complete asshat of himself to impress his dining companions. The waiter, much to his credit, answered every question completely and patiently while the bozo finished ordering for each person at the table.

                                                                                                                                                        After the waiter headed for the kitchen, this dipstick picked up the ENTIRE head of garlic and stuffed it in his mouth - roots, paper, everything, and chewed it with his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. Nice job, there, Zeke -- you just ate the entire appetizer, AND showed the whole dining room (and your companions) that you are an idiot making yourself look important by being a jerk to the waiter.

                                                                                                                                                        Several people at surrounding tables muffled laughter in their napkins, and a couple choked on their wine.

                                                                                                                                                        When the waiter returned, I told him what happened, and his face got red while he tried to stifle a grin. He excused himself (what a gentleman!) and came back a few minutes later. He told us that he hadn't had a laugh like that in quite some time, and hope the gentleman at the next table would truly enjoy the garlic in the morning.

                                                                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                        1. re: sunshine842

                                                                                                                                                          LOL!!!

                                                                                                                                                        2. You know that bone that comes in a T-bone... just kidding.

                                                                                                                                                          Back in the early 80's before cooking in parchment became trendy, I ordered fish that had been cooked in parchment. I thought it was rice paper and ate a piece w/ the fish and vegetables. But, that one bite was enough to let me know it wasn't edible. I can't imagine eating a whole artichoke. The fish, even w/out the parchment, wasn't good, though, and I thought it was a bad idea to cook that way and that I'd never see parchment cooking again. Sooo wrong.

                                                                                                                                                          4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                          1. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                            a new take on a brown bag lunch?

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: smartie

                                                                                                                                                              LOL, just don't eat the bag!

                                                                                                                                                            2. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                              When I was a kid I did the opposite. The first time I had chinese dumplings steamed in rice paper, I spent ages trying to peel the 'paper' off the food because I knew it wasn't edible...

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Kajikit

                                                                                                                                                                That's funny. I did that with the milk caramel candies wrapped in rice paper. The harder I tried, the more it stuck.

                                                                                                                                                            3. I must concur that even if you have never encountered an artichoke in your life, common sense usually prevails when you realize the entire leaf is sawing off the back of your throat. However, there have been many times in my life, not necessarily food related where I asked a "stupid question". Although, I don't see it as stupid; I think too often intelligent people are fearful of seeming dumb and therefore refrain from asking the question that could probably save them from the situation you just described. That being said, the OP describes the failings of our tort law system and people's lack of responsibility. By the way, I do think that a well trained waiter should ask someone if they are aware of how to eat an artichoke.

                                                                                                                                                              25 Replies
                                                                                                                                                              1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                If a diner is served a Roasted Chicken or whole fish, and he ate the bones does he have a legal right to compensation for pain and suffering? Or is he entitled to the Darwin award!!???

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: ospreycove

                                                                                                                                                                  If you read my reply, you would have seen that I already said our tort law system needs vast improvement and people need to take responsibility for their actions. As for bones, for large bones like in a chicken obviously it's self evident to the diner. However, if I owned a restaurant, I would expect my wait staff to inform the diners if the fish being served has little bones just so we don't get sued:}

                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                    A Whole Fish Has "little bones and Big bones". If we as restaurteurs had to worry about everything a patron put in their mouths; we would be relegated to serving room temperature water and grits.

                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                      What's wrong with our tort law system? Some bozo files a stupid lawsuit, he gets laughed out of court, case closed. Sounds to me like things are working exactly like they should.

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                        Some non-bozo files a valid case in court, insurance company has to pay up, things aren't working the way they want them to.

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                          It's those frivolous lawsuits (and the damn gummint regulators) that deprived upstanding Americans of the right to die fiery deaths in Ford Pintos.

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                            I drove a Pinto, managed to get out with only a rash.....

                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                              me, too, although mine was the wagon and not the hatchback. Hauled carloads of girls to the beach for a few years!

                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                                Are you saying that because your car didn't implode, the ones who did were just unfortunate and Ford should have been given a free pass and the lawsuits were frivolous?

                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                  Given Scrapironchef's previous post, I think this one was intended to be humorous...

                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                                    Ugh, thanks. Once the threads collapse, I rarely go back to past ones. And, I'll be the first to say that I've missed tongue in cheek comments on posts.

                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                    Actually, if a Pinto imploded that would be something quite novel.

                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                                      treble damages for an imploding pinto.

                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                                        You mean there aren't Pinto black holes all over the highways?

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                          The only one I ever heard of was when a Pinto had a head on collision with a Vega. The sheer amount of cr@ppiness reached critical mass.....

                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                                            Thought that was a Vega and a (Super)Nova...

                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                                              That would have been a matter - antimatter annihilation of cosmic proportions....

                                                                                                                                                                                              I'm surprised the resulting singularity didn't destroy Oshkosh....

                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                                                I heard it was a AMC Gremlin...

                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                                                  You mean the Yugo that was trying to pass them wasn't involved?

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                    It must have gotten sucked right up into the black hole.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                      A Yugo never passed anything.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                                                        it passed time in the junkyard. har-de-har-har!

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Not all of them are in a junkyard - http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/ct...

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Scrapironchef

                                                                                                                                                                                                            There was a brief vogue for them in the Bay Area in the early '80's. Too bad the part that worked best was the heat.

                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                                  The older I get, the less worried I am about how stupid I seem and the more willing I am to just ask questions or confess ignorance. Makes life easier.

                                                                                                                                                                                3. July this summer Brittany France,
                                                                                                                                                                                  enough artichokes to choke you.
                                                                                                                                                                                  this one is not yet cooked:

                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                  1. The in-laws have several cherry trees and my first year living in Switzerland we brought home kilos of cherries to enjoy. That evening, sitting at the table my husband and I started eating the cherries together having a casual chat. I would pop a cherry in my mouth, enjoy the wonderful sweetness and the spit out the pit into my hand and deposit in a small bowl I had put on the table for just that purpose. However, my husband kept eating cherry after cherry after cherry after cherry - and no pips were coming out. Finally I asked him,
                                                                                                                                                                                    - "Dear, you are not swallowing the pips, are you?"
                                                                                                                                                                                    - "Of course I am!" says he. "That is how we eat cherries in Switzerland. Here it is considered extremely rude to spit out the pips."
                                                                                                                                                                                    - "But you can't digest the pips. You will get sick!"
                                                                                                                                                                                    -"I have been eating cherries this way my entire life and haven't been sick once."
                                                                                                                                                                                    So we continued eating, me getting more and more concerned with each cherry he ate.
                                                                                                                                                                                    But finally he had eaten so many that he could no longer keep the ruse up - he had been storing them all in his mouth the entire time. He started laughing and out came all of those pips!

                                                                                                                                                                                    Gullible was I...

                                                                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: marsprincess

                                                                                                                                                                                      Elegant.

                                                                                                                                                                                      What a ruse

                                                                                                                                                                                    2. I can't cop to my own, but I'm sure I've got one coming my way someday! My dear friend who is desperately afraid to fly took a Xanax for a hour long flight during a trip we took together in Europe several years ago. She takes this medicine rarely and it leaves her extremely loopy. We met up with some former teachers of ours a few hours after our flight for quite a fancy dinner and on the plate there was a ball of butter rolled in chopped parsley. She popped the thing in her mouth, and could really only chew and swallow. She told me later about how awful it was and she tought it was like a bussel sprout with some sort of sauce because the Xanax and then wine made her vision blur--bwahaha!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: alliegator

                                                                                                                                                                                        Oh, that reminds me of a similar thing I did: mistook a slab of butter for cheese. Took a nice big bite out of it. Gross. Did not chew and swallow, thankfully I had a napkin handy...

                                                                                                                                                                                      2. You don't suppose any alcohol had been consumed prior to the good doctor's embarking on his choke, do ya?

                                                                                                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                          I really can't imagine a sober person plowing through that plate. But then again, some people just have no common sense. Still, I vote DWI--dining while intoxicated.

                                                                                                                                                                                        2. There used to be a restaurant in Santa Barbara called "Epicurean" or something like that. Very fancy, very formal, very out-of-my-poor-student-price-range, but I had a girlfriend to impress, so we went. I was parched, but I didn't know if the vessel of water at my place - very, very wide, not very tall, with a slice of lemon in it - was it a drinking glass, or a finger bowl?? To make matters worse, the place was fairly dark, and the tables were set at discreet distances and angles, so I had a hard time spying on other tables to see if anybody else was drinking or cleaning their fingers. As I recall, I took a furtive sip to take the edge off my thirst, then ordered a beverage from the server.

                                                                                                                                                                                          Another time, while in a group having dim sum, I averted a potentially funny disaster. As the lazy Susan turned, one of my companions spied the slices of jalapeno in the dish of dow see pie kwut (steamed spare ribs in black bean sauce) and practically yelled, "Oh! Okra slices! I love okra!", while reaching for them. A split second before he popped one in his mouth, I hollered, "That ain't okra!" Half of the table said I should have let him eat it, anyway.

                                                                                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: ricepad

                                                                                                                                                                                            I cant say I was present for this, but on my parents first trip to a vegas buffet, Dad decided to enjoy a nice bowl of rice pudding with whipped cream for dessert.

                                                                                                                                                                                            too bad for him it was horseradish topped with sour cream.....I can still hear my mom laughing hysterically, on the verge of tears, telling the story! Dad never did live that one down!!

                                                                                                                                                                                          2. I remember when I tried my first Kung Pao dish at work. I loaded up my plate and took it back to my office. It was great, but I found the chilies a little hot. When I went back and told coworkers that the chilies were a little hot, they all laughed and said "you aren't supposed to eat those. Oops...they were good, just a little hot.

                                                                                                                                                                                            1. at a restaurant in which i used to work:

                                                                                                                                                                                              one dish was a gorgeous tomato salad that had relatively large bits of sea salt as a garnish on top. countless diners complained it was broken glass.

                                                                                                                                                                                              another dish was broiled sea scallops served in their shell, balanced over a mound of salt. we would put the plate down, and every time, tell the guest the shells were resting on salt. dozens and dozens of them later would wave us over, furious, because they had ingested a huge forkful of the salt, thinking it was rice and the appetizer was "ruined". listen much?

                                                                                                                                                                                              3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: hotoynoodle

                                                                                                                                                                                                Heh heh. The first part of your post reminded me of a recent dining experience. My sis isn't exactly an ignorant food fan, but when we went out and she ordered one of her favorite dishes - bone marrow roasted and served on rock salt - she said it just needed a little salt and proceeded to put the rocks of salt on the bone marrow after she spread it on her toasted bread. She still doesn't believe me that you're not really meant to eat the rock salt. Well, if you think about it, it's salt (naturally antibacterial), it probably arrived clean enough to roast the marrow on...why not?

                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: hotoynoodle

                                                                                                                                                                                                  At my last job they had these slabs of himalayan pink salt that they liked to serve sashimi on. More than one server reported a guest trying to saw through the salt block with a steak knife.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: hotoynoodle

                                                                                                                                                                                                    We had someone eat the rock salt that scallop shells were sitting on and vomit on the table. On Valentine's Day!!! And this is at a very small, romantic restaurant.. Awful.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. I once received a phone call from my brother-in-law:

                                                                                                                                                                                                    BIL: PollyG, you know a lot about food, so I thought I'd call you. Have you ever eaten a thousand year-old egg?

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Me: No, did you have a question?

                                                                                                                                                                                                    BIL: Well, do you know how to eat one?

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Me: Sure, I think they're mentioned in one of my cookbooks, let me look them up. What was your specific question?

                                                                                                                                                                                                    BIL: Are you supposed to eat the outside?

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Me: I'm pretty sure not, but let me look. . . . Well, it says here that they are coated in ash and lye, so no, I don't think you would want to eat that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    BIL: Oh, thank goodness. I popped the whole thing in my mouth and it was burning and disgusting and I couldn't imagine why anyone would eat one and I have 5 more to eat.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Me: *snickering sounds*

                                                                                                                                                                                                    3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: PollyG

                                                                                                                                                                                                      LYE?! Isn't that toxic?

                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: LaPomme

                                                                                                                                                                                                        it depends.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        It's used in many kinds of pickles, with no ill effect whatsoever.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: LaPomme

                                                                                                                                                                                                          It's an essential ingredient in making lutefisk.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Lutefisk can be described many ways but it is not toxic. It just smells like it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. Next lawsuit: the family of the hapless soul who gets ahold of some ill-prepared Fugu. Like that isn't an assigned risk.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: mamachef

                                                                                                                                                                                                          "I'll have the fugu liver, please."

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: GraydonCarter

                                                                                                                                                                                                            My parents invited another couple to have dinner with them at a fancy resort in the '50's. The waiter brought finger bowls for everyone and the husband took the bowl and slurped it. This was probably the only time in her life, that my mother was speechless.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. I get to claim the ignorance of youth being as I was only about 5 yrs old at the time, but one christmas an aunt had given all of us kids large santa shaped candles as christmas presents, assuming that they were chocolate like easter bunnies I quickly bit the hand off of mine, and was very unimpressed, that santa with the missing hand remained a christmas decoration for at least another 15 yrs coming out every year to remind me to inspect things closely before taking a bite, lol

                                                                                                                                                                                                          20 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: bbbrt76

                                                                                                                                                                                                            ha ha. in college, a friend and i were in a dorm apartment of an acquaintance we knew from the school's pub and new wave dance night (you get the drift). he had a box of chocolates open on the counter, and since he was not in the room at the time, and i was in a hungry mood, i took one of the chocolates and bit in.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            it was a "display" chocolate from some candy store.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            um, yeah...*who* did that? LOL!

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                              When my father-in-law first arrived in Canada from England, he had never had corn on the cob, there it was only served to animals. He was invited out to dinner at a business colleague's home and corn on the cob was served! He was horrified and had no idea how to eat it! Being a proper British gentleman, he picked up his knife and fork and begin to cut away at it! His fellow diners remained silent and watched him struggle for sometime!
                                                                                                                                                                                                              He then, in turn, watched in dismay as they picked up their cobs and begin to gnaw away!

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: eatwell

                                                                                                                                                                                                                honestly, though, lol, who serves corn on the cob at a business dinner?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: hotoynoodle

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Dinner at a business colleague's home does not make it a business dinner.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Many years ago, a friend had been staying at our house for a while because of a dispute with his dad. One weekend, he had gone upstate to visit family and brought back corn. When my mother served it at dinner, everyone in turn realized it was inedible. Turned out to be feed corn that he hopped a farmer's fence to pick. A good laugh for all...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: MacTAC

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    moo!

                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                I think that was a phase. Growing up (60s & 70s) we had a big marble fruit bowl on the dining room table full of "wax" appleas, pears, etc. Not sure when the folks realized "real" fruit was a better option. After all, it's not like we ate the wax fruit, we actually walked past it to get to the real fruit--we were young, not dumb.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  When I was little we had those fake grapes (I think they were rubber or plastic tho) on the back of the commode. I used to pluck them off and chew on them and let them suck to the side of my mouth. Gag, I know. But eventually enough were missing that my mom noticed and became freaked that it would kill me because she was sure I ate them (she knew it was me even though we had a household of children). She did very humiliating things to allay her fears. I was probably both young and dumb. But she did not find any grapes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Thought I would share.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    i don't think my imagination is failing me....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    EEEUUUWWW!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I remember those, but do not think that I ever used them as described.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        When I was little we had those fake grapes (I think they were rubber or plastic tho) on the back of the commode. I used to pluck them off and chew on them and let them suck to the side of my mouth.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I did the exact same thing! Why, why, why did I do that? What drives a small child to do such things? I would, however, put them back on the stem, which required a bit of work.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        And who in their right mind thinks displaying food (real or plastic) in the bathroom is a good decorating trick?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: cleobeach

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          we had the fake grapes too (and some fake apples and peaches as I recall). In a white pebbly sort of display vase. Must have been the in thing back in the late 60s!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: DGresh

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            white pebbly vases! Did your's have a fluttery, wavey edge to it?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            OMG the memories flooding back!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Someone in the extended family did have wax fruit (likely a great aunt) and my cousins and I intentionally put "bite" marks in some of the fruit. We got in a heap of trouble for that stunt. She continued to display it and let everyone know, and not in a nice/fun way, that we were to blame for ruining her fruit display.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I don't know why she didn't replace the bitten pieces. Was wax fruit an expensive item? My family was not the type to spend money on decorations so I am guessing that was fruit was so expensive that it couldn't have been replaced if it bothered her that much.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: cleobeach

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              yes I think it did have fluttery edges; or maybe just "pierced". I believe that sort of thing is called "milk glass".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: DGresh

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Our white bowl has a scalloped edge, with a pattern of grapes and leaves, elevated on a small pedestal. The graped kind of sprang between your teeth as you 'chewed' on them.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Between the rubber grapes and the old-school Weebles, I don't know how I survived my childhood.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: cleobeach

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The visual that your writing allowed me to conjure up was fascinating, to say the least. Never recall seeing those "grapes" in the bathroom, but maybe a "regional thing."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The ones that I recall, had a sort of "frosted" look and texture, like the whole vine had been dipped in sugar water, and allowed to crystallize.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Weird. When I was young, whenever we'd go to a craft store I would find those plastic grapes, take one off, and chew on it. My parents finally figured out what I was doing and told me it was stealing...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Wonder what made us so attracted to plastic grapes?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Japanecdote

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I don't *think* I ever chewed on them, but I loved to play with fake grapes when I was a kid. They were just so bouncy and . . . satisfying. It would be pretty fun if real grapes were that texture . . .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: guilty

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                If you chew on them and bite down, you can get a suction from the top and have them hang on your tongue. I think that was the fun part when I was young.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  hahaha, yes, this, exactly. Good lord, no wonder some of us live in magic houses - we exposed ourselves to everything there was to expose ourselves too!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I did the "suction from the top and have them hang on your tongue" too. Stick it on the end of your tongue stick it out and flap it around! Glad I was not the only one :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. Who knew? Maybe the FDA can imprint instructions on eating on artichokes, lobsters, crabs, bone-in beef and what else? Oh, perhaps sea urchins. Gotta' have instructions on how to eat everything, plus several pages of warnings too. But wait, the FDA has just been given total control, with no oversight, on all food items in the US. Guess that each item will soon come with a complete instruction book, in 5 languages. If a patron is not fluent in those, then a multi-lingual RN will be provided, along with several lawyers, to make sure that each diner knows exactly what they are getting, how to eat it, and who to sue, when things go wrong.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I only hope that some omnipotent deity, fill in your choice of name here _____, can guide us in our culinary obstacle course. How did we ever manage before the current litigious society?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        As to my greatest food faux pas, I did gnaw on a snail's shell once...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Thanks for the laugh, and then the tear that followed. "Coffee is hot, and if you pour it into your lap, things may well be burned... " Also, "do not pour it into your ears, as damage will result." Maybe a warning on hot mulled wine - "do not allow this to be poured into your eyes, as you will greatly regret it." I could go on, but will refrain, as I think the point has been made.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        PS - I think that Darwin missed some aspects. There are some, who just should not be allowed to reproduce.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. The first dinner my husband cooked for me included acorn squash. When I peeked in the oven it was a whole acorn squash. He cut it in half and plunked it on the plate. Later I explained to him how it worked. Before he had eaten everything including the skin, pulp and seeds. The man is a shark.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          10 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            He is a real man, that's what.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              REAL MEN EAT WHOLE SQUASH.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              a little harder to digest than quiche.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              ceekay, you crack me up!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                but there's FIBER.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Don't need to buy that Super Colon Cleanse cereal anymore!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: sunshine842

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Yes. There is also fiber in sawdust, a manly man's creation. We can take a nice piece of wood, and create a mountain of sawdust. Would I eat that - not unless my cardiologist told me that to dine on foie gras, I must eat 5# of sawdust per day.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    (my post was a reference to an old Saturday Night Live gag with Phil Hartman)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: sunshine842

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Wasn't the product in question called "Colon Blow"?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: ricepad

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        there were two, actually - one was Cleanse, and a later one was Blow.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I actually enjoy eating acorn squash with the skin, as long as it's been roasted long enough. (I discard the pulp and seeds before roasting though). I also used to eat mango skin!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: NicoleFriedman

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                You should not eat mango skin anymore Nicole. it has the same chemical that is ick in poison ivy.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                But on another topic - do you know what is really good on acorn squash? LOL Parm. : )

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  One of my all-time favorite recipes involves roasting acorn squash or butternut after dredging it in parmesan and herb laced flour. It makes an amazing crispy delicious side. Or main, with a good salad and a side of fast-braised greens.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            3. There's always some idiot suing someone for there own stupidity. I'm also wondering like to OP how did he manage to eat the whole thing? I can't imagine eating a leaf and the effort involved in chewing and swallowing.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I'm also curious as to if not dining alone why no one at the table wold have said anything. Perhaps they had all just come from the imbecile convention.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Be curious as to how this all plays out in court.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Withnail42

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                People today think (wrongly), that life is "risk-free", well it "ain't". Nobody wants to take personal responsibility for their own ignorance. It is the "who can I blame for this?" Maybe it is you. Too bad there isn't a law that allows those who perform really dumb acts to sue themselves.....just for the record!!!!!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Withnail42

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  That imbecile convention must be the biggest and best-attended one in the world. I'm cracking up over it! Great!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I guess this is more chlorine for the gene pool!!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It would be if they could find their way there....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. I used to eat sunflower seeds whole before my Mom showed me how to open them! Kept wonder why people liked them so much.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    16 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: cosmogrrl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      now that's what i'd call a "high fiber" regimen! LOL.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: cosmogrrl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I did that, even knowing how to open them. Shelling them seemed like too much work. Of course, I was only ten at the time.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Terrieltr

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I still eat the shells. lol

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: shanagain

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            My husband eats peanut shells unless I catch him at it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: shanagain

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              My dog eats them shell on if she gets a chance. She prefers her pistachios deshelled, however.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Firegoat

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Some nuts can be toxic to dogs. Neighbor's dog had to have its stomach pumped after cashews.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: Terrieltr

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              kids in Little league chew the shells because it looks like chewing tobacco.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Not a great role model, but at least it's mostly harmless. (interesting note: after a rash of choking incidents a few years ago, Little League outlawed sunflower seeds in the dugouts.)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: sunshine842

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                kids in little league eat sunflower seeds, because major leaguers chew sunflower seeds, not because it looks like tobacco.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                in the majors there is a whole ritualized way to eat sunflower seeds. you need to put a cheekload in your mouth, and be able to move one between your teeth, crack it open swallow the seed and spit out the shell, one at a time, without spitting out whole ones, or the nutmeat. it's a skill they work on, and quite amusing to watch if you catch it going on in the dugout.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: thew

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  We could do with a whole thread on interesting ways to eat difficult foods. The teeth cracking and shell spitting is an art with Chinese guazi (melon seeds) too.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: thew

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ycVoz...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: thew

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      that wasn't what the kids in our league said.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: cosmogrrl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  roasted pumpkin seeds in the shell are my favorite snack...i chew & swallow the whole thing, shell & all.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    hold on......you can separate a pumpkin seed from its shell? I never knew that

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: joe777cool

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      you must have seen/eaten shelled pumpkin seeds at some point in life and just not realized what they were. the seeds without the shell are often called pepitas...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      http://everythingpumpkin.files.wordpr...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      but yes, if you want to separate it from the shell yourself, just hold it between your teeth the long (not flat) way so that your teeth are propped open slightly, and apply a little pressure - the shell will crack open & you can remove the seed.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: cosmogrrl

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I've always loved sunflower seeds, but I think maybe I eat them differently than most people. I never could get the hang of opening them with my teeth, and opening them by hand is too tedious. I just pop a bunch in my mouth whole, chew them up, and after a minute or so of chewing, the meat of the nut liquefies. It's then pretty easy to swallow that without swallowing the shells, and spit the shells out. Sort of like making sunflower seed butter in your mouth.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: gadfly

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      That is pretty awful...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ...and I did the same thing with sunflower seeds for years when I was younger!! And, even now, I still eat pumpkin seeds with the shells on that way.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hilarious!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  3. You mean I should stop "eating crow"? "Pie charts" are off the menu? No more juicing "Fruit of the Loom"? Who knew? Can I sue Webster's Dictionary?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    15 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: erikschwarz

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      oh heck no, i can eat crow all day long!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: erikschwarz

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Now, I wonder what wine should be served with crow?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          dry.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Only if that refers to the humor, as well....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            http://tinyurl.com/28o4pam

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: thew

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              "pairs well with pizza" LOL!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: thew

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Now that should work well! Thanks. I could also imagine one of the single vineyard offerings from Ravenswood (especially when Joel Peterson owned it). Another candidate might be the Hellacious Acres Zin, which features a vulture on the label.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Thanks,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I'd suggest the a white from the laughing crow winery.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                http://www.laughingcrowwinery.com/

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  good luck to the skidder family. nice label design!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  ps, and OT, i had a red shouldered hawk in my back yard maple, and i kept making him turn his head by cawing like a crow. yep, that's crazy me (i do a mean crow imitation; chickens on request)! mr. alka didn't even blink; he just walked into the house ;-).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    You're lucky the hawk didn't want to eat crow . . .that would have left a mark ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      i guess he figured it out..."no worries mate"!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Now, I'd serve up some Red Shoulders Ranch Chard, and then sit, sip and "caw."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    3. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hey, with many fowl dishes, I reach for a white. With a "foul dish," I want a really, really big red, to make me forget!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      New one to me. Have tried Laughing Magpie Shiraz from OZ, but not Laughing Crow. Gotta' remember that one, 'cause my wife has me "eat crow" so very often. Now, I have a good wine to go with it...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    4. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If you are eating crow, the only solution is brown liquor. : )

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: mamachef

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        No doubt.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. Definitely yes, an honorable mention for a lady judge on the last season of The Next Iron Chef, with the initials D.A., who ate the banana peel garnish on the plate presented by Ming Tsai; or who just inhaled that hot pepper in one fell swoop then spluttered and complained that it took her head off. If it were a simple person it might not be a big deal, but Arpaia was a judge for a food reality show on national teevee... There have been any number of remarks and jokes since then on forums and elsewhere about being careful what you put on a plate in front of her as she is liable to EAT IT ALL, knives and forks and snail shells and oyster shells included.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: huiray

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      She is a restaurateur in NYC to boot.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. I am the type to either watch someone else or ask "how do I eat this?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      But I still laugh at myself over this - the first time I tasted really good balsamic vinegar I thought it was chocolate sauce.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      We were ate a fancy place and one course had a dizzling of balsamic vinegar over the food. (Funny I can't remember what it was, just the balsamic which tasted amazing) When the waiter asked me if I liked the (whatever the dish was, maybe a salad), I replied along the lines of "very and I didn't think chocolate sauce would taste so good on a......."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      He politely goes on to say that yes, isn't that the best balsamic vinegar you ever tasted? and proceeded to tell me how the restaurant imported it from some special area of Italy and isn't it interesting how aged balsamics take on different flavors?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      He was probably worried I would go about town telling people the restaurant serves "the best salad with chocolate sauce!" and therefor thought it was best to educate me right then and there.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: cleobeach

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Kind of along similar lines, we were at a ski race, and I had a very early start. The base lodge opened late, and I grabbed some pancakes and headed to a table. This was ~ 6:30AM, and there was a little pitcher on each table. Ah, maple syrup, I thought, and looking down, it was dark brown. Wrong! Soy sauce was now all over my pancakes. Uck! The line had formed at the counter, and there was no time to wait for replacement cakes. I choked them down, and went on to take 3rd in my division. Maybe I need to try soy sauce on my pancakes more often - OTOH, I think not. Egg on my face, and soy sauce on my pancakes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. Years back, when we were young & innocent, a friend of mine ordered a duck flambe dish at a French restaurant. The waiter brought our entrees, setting down the plate of duck, along with a small thimble-like cup of cognac. The waiter proceeded to set down the remaining entrees for the other diners. He then picked up the cup of cognac, ready to pour it on the duck and set it aflame. Not knowing the procedure, my friend had been sipping the cognac, while the waiters was parceling out the other entrees. The waiter poured out the few remaining drops of cognac, lit it and watched it flame for about 1 second, before it abruptly went out. He shot my friend a disdainful look, as only a French waiter could muster, and walked off. We all got a good howl out of that one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. Quick, somebody tell artichoke man that when he irons his clothes, he should not be wearing them.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. When I was around 10 or 11, I was dragged to a Bar-Mitzvah in the Bronx. Nibbling on the various appetizers, I spotted these little beautiful white cakes with whipped cream and black & red sprinkles on them. I popped one in my mouth in anticipation of the sugary high. NOT! It was caviar!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The grape punch I had just before provided a vehicle to remove the offending saltyness from by digestive tract - immediately.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            It was awhile before I could appreciate caviar.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. The stupidest diner experience I've had was with some friends and their friends. It had nothing to do with the food or dining experience.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              While we were waiting for the food, we were conversing. The young woman across from me asked if I knew any languages other than English. I'd studied classical Latin in school and shared.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              She then asked what language they speak in Europe. I thought she was joking and laughed. She wasn't joking!! I tried not to act snooty and said "It depends on what country they are from" and left it at that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              That is the biggest "dumb diner" experience I've had.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              We grew up in the same town and I know she did not have a learning disability and was at least educated through high school. Just not sure how that info was missed...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              28 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: MinkeyMonkey

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                My brother tells the story of a first date where the woman looked at the menu and said, "Oh, they have soup d'jour....that's my favorite kind...its a little different each time I have it." My brother was known for choosing looks over brains when it came to women.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: DaisyM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  My brother asked the waitress what the soup du jour was. She replied condescendingly, "Oh honey, that's the soup of the day." Okay, then.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    i think my tip-o-meter would've sagged.....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: DaisyM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Anyone who's seen Dumb and Dumber knows...soup d'jour is delicious!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_mn7J...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: joonjoon

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      When my brother and I were little, one of our favourite restaurants (still is a fave) was Anna's Tratoria in LA. We were there for his 9th or 10th birthday and it was no where near our first time there. But, this time, when asked if he wanted soup or salad with his dinner and he said, "yes, I'll have the super salad." He laughed so hard he fell under the table, slowly and with tears and a very red face. We were all laughing, even the waiter--the staff there knew us well.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I still think of this when asked if I want soup or salad.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I chuckle to myself and think, yes, I would.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: MinkeyMonkey

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        that is a great story. it makes me smile!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Thanks! It still makes me smile too.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: MinkeyMonkey

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Great story.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I had a similar experience in college. I was out to dinner with a boyfriend and ordered a salad with my meal. It was a Saturday night and busy and noisy. The salad came. I ate it, it was uneventful. A few minutes later, a server (who wasn't mine) came up and breathlessly asked "Did you get your super salad?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I was confused. She said again "Super salad? Did you get your super salad?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I said "Oh, I just ordered the side salad. Did I eat the wrong salad?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          When she walked away, I realized what she had been asking me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: rweater

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Okay, that made me giggle out loud! Super salads are the best, if only they really did offer them...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: MinkeyMonkey

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Jackie Mason responding to solicitation by a hooker. You want super sex? I'll take the soup.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: MinkeyMonkey

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Cute joke for a 10 year old but while waiting tables I encountered so many adults seriously saying "super salad?! wow! whats in that?" that I learned to say 'salad or soup'. It's just so hard to see the disappointment in their eyes when you tell them that there is, in fact, no super salad

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: MinkeyMonkey

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Ha! I've got a couple of those stories. My sister loves telling me the story of her friend who brought a boyfriend home from Harvard (they both went there, of course). The mother somehow got to talking about how the food she made that night was based on a Greek recipe and how much she loved Greece when she went, and the boyfriend just asked, matter-of-factly, "What's Greece?" The mother just laughed it off because she thought it was a joke, but he kept saying, "No, really, what's Greece? I mean, I've heard of it, but I don't know what it is. Is it a country?" The mother just decided to be diplomatic and say that yes, it was a country in Europe, and then changed the subject. The boyfriend (now an EX!) was obviously a legacy... :o)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Also, I remember in freshman year of college, I was talking to someone about a late night show segment where people couldn't even point out where Japan was on a map. She then asked me where it was, adding, "Well, I know it's in the Asia area, but where exactly? Is it close to China?" It took me about ten whole seconds of silence for me to process that this was, indeed, not a joke...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: yfunk3

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Yes, all these are students who go through classes at my (Decent State University, while the flagship campus is first rate, the branch campuses are, well, very spotty).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I get stories like these each semester. It's not only countries.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          To keep it food related:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          These are reproductive age young men and women who have never HEARD of folic acid and why prenatal vitamins are important, who don't know the names of many fruits and vegetables (I do not teach nutrition by the way), who want to know what kind of ID Freud was required to show and why, and on and on and on.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Most of them are trying to major in nursing.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Be very afraid.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Rasam

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            people were no smarter or better educated 10, 50, 100, or 1000 years ago. and we made it this far......

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: thew

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              people were definitely more in touch with basic foods like fruit and vegetables. it's got nothing to do with IQ, but rather, familiarity with things beyond your suburban horizon or not on your smart phone screen.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: linguafood

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                i would say a smartphone screen brings your more familiarity with things, not less. I would also say that people were less familiar with foods beyond their horizon,a s they had no access to them

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: thew

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I started teaching college classes 40 years ago, and while I think we hit a peak sometime in the late 90s, my last group of incoming freshmen, last year, and all those over the last decade, are light years ahead of where the average freshman through my first two decades was. There has definitely been a dramatic shift in the diversity of the average student's knowledge base. I'd say the majority of the bio majors I get are more or less clueless about the humanities, and their writing skills by senior year aren't even good enough to have gotten them into Yale 50 years ago. Overall, however, their level of academic sophistication is higher than many of the doctoral students I was in school with. Their ability to conduct research, quickly analyze information, integrate multiple data sets into a single cohesive argument, and recognize the validity of hypotheses are better than any previous generation I've worked with, and they only seem to be getting better.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: thew

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  In fact, people today are probably smarter (due to improved nutrition) and better educated (due to wider dissemination of information) than at any point in the past. And anybody who believes there was ever a time when a majority of undergraduates could cogently explain the role of folic acid in prenatal nutrition is seriously deluded.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  On the other hand, some information that was once routinely drilled into students is no longer part of the standard curriculum. It's easy to understand how those who spent their school days labeling maps and memorizing lists of State capitols believe that those who are unable to accomplish those tasks have not been well educated. But then again, there was a time when geezers bemoaned the sorry state of education because kids could get a college degree without a basic command of classical Latin...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    You all are right in many ways

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1) my students' lack of knowledge reflects their lack of prior exposure and the poor preparation most of them got through K-12, not their abilities or character.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2) However, I have not seen any abilities in most of my students to do the kind of things gadfly describes, Most of my students are just poorly prepared, for many reasons outside their control.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    3) They are better nourished (more calories) and healthier (fewer infectious diseases) than earlier generations - also much more obesity and type-2 diabetes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    And alan: I do not expect my UGs to "cogently explain" the role of folic acid in anything. I expect them to have even vaguely heard the term, that too *after* reading the chapter on the subject! Don't put your words in my mouth.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    And I am in a region with comparatively high rates of teen pregnancy and correspondingly, comparatively poor birth outcomes, and nationally, 40% of pregnancies are unplanned. So the risk of young adults not knowing one of the most important nutritional preventors of birth defects is potentially quite serious here.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I have seen youth in neighboring, more prosperous, counties do graduate from HS with exposure to this knowledge. My UGs come from comparatively under privileged backgrounds and the educational inequality shows in their college preparation and performance. I am not making any statements about how great students were when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Rasam

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Good points!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Off Topic:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My mother volunteered with planned parenthood in a region with similar rates. She had to inform people that you can get pregnant/impregnate someone even when you are not under the sheets. I'm not joking here.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It has nothing to do with being dumb, it is that no one told them.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      On Topic:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      How someone could not know about an artichoke is one thing, totally possible. How someone just kept eating an unbearable, sharp, fibrous food is just dumb or deliberately trying to get sick in order to sue.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Rasam

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        But what makes you think kids got any better K-12 preparation in the past years, decades, or generations? Maybe your students aren't as well-informed as college students of yore, but back in yore most kids didn't go to college.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        In previous generations, your students from "comparatively under privileged backgrounds" [sic] wouldn't have had a shot at higher education. They'd be working in factories or becoming apprentices. And they still wouldn't have a clue about folic acid.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        The fact of the matter is that kids now are in better shape than they've ever been. Teen pregnancy, malnutrition, infant mortality, and Infectious disease are all at historic lows. And kids in America have more educational opportunities than they've ever had before.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        This is no reason for complacency. Although we're making progress, other developed countries have caught up to us and passed us in a cloud of dust. And the fact that most kids have more opportunities than in the past doesn't change the fact that opportunity is still unequally distributed.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Yes, undergrads from affluent backgrounds have more opportunities than the undergrads you're complaining about. But the fact that all these kids are undergraduates instead of assembly-line workers is a good thing.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: yfunk3

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Was reminded of this by a (testy) discussion of Korean food and people's perceptions of it on the Asian marketing thread. Not so long ago, a presentation was made in front of a group of East Asian specialists, and a (hand-drawn) map of Asia was on the blackboard behind the speakers. It wasn't until the person speaking on Korea started and gestured to the map that everyone present (all specialists, remember) realized the person who put up the map had neglected to put Korea on it. Great country, great culture, great food, very important in world history, overlooked.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    My then college age daughter invited a friend over. We had a whole pineapple on the kitchen counter in a bowl. She asked my daughter if it was real. My daughter told her that it was. Her friend then said, "is it for decoration?" She was astounded that it was real and we were going to eat it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    One year I said that for my birthday I really wanted a German chocolate cake. My daughter said, "okay, but does it have to be German or can it be French?" We still laugh about that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: DaisyM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      We can laugh but we're all so removed from our food source now. When I first started a job in agriculture (as an analyst), I was surprised to see fields of foods and had no idea what most of the vegetables looked like. Celery is grown mostly in the grown? Really? But, in no time, I could drive by any field, barely take a look and identify what was being grown there. But, talk about ignorance in the beginning. I can imagine the guys in the fields having a field day (haha) at the questions I asked.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Make a trip to Europe and visit the smaller food purveyors. Sides of meat, whole rabbits, little cartons of offal...piles of whole fish, snails still trying to make an escape, and crabs and lobsters waving their claws in protest...heaps of carrots and potatoes with dirt and sand still clinging to them.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Europe is VERY in tune with where their food comes from.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: sunshine842

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          You mean....meat doesn't just grow in styrofoam packages? I shouldn't laugh--I've never killed an animal for food, never butchered anything large, never de-feathered. I've got nothing on Sarah Palin in that department--I have no idea how to field dress a moose.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          On second thought, shellfish aside I haven't done any of that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: sunshine842

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            For most of us an Asian grocery store is far closer and just as informative. Although my younger daughter didn't respond well to seeing frogs slaughtered to order...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I remember a story about some city kids helping harvest in a community garden. When they pulled the carrots out of the ground, one of the kids got an amazed look and asked the farmer "But how did you get them *in* there?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. i don't know if i ever posted the actual complaint: http://www.rollonfriday.com/Portals/0...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    they're through discovery now, if it wasn't dismissed

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    16 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      How does a grilled artichoke look wholly consumable? And suffered disfigurement???

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        yeah, the "disfigurement" thing got me too. his face contorted when his gut got a stab?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Maybe he tried to insert an entire jumbo 'choke into his mouth. The thorns could do some damage...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Mental image...snorting...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          as a result of the surgery presumably

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            if they had to operate (either just internally or from the outside in) there would be a scar which is technically a disfugurement.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: kpaxonite

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I missed the surgery aspect.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Plaintiff had never seen nor heard of artichokes?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: gaffk

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Going back to my youth, there was a Little Rascals episode, where this line was issued, "It might choke Artie, but it won't choke Stymie." Maybe King Features needs to release that episode?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Found this clip. What you can't see is that Stymie peels and peels the artichoke looking for..something. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpHgrW...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              And, hence the beginning of our restaurant food with labels, "Shells not meant to be eaten", "Artichoke needs to be peeled before consumption", "Knives may be sharp", "Toothpick is for handling and not edible." How much is this costing the poor restaurant?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                oh, chowser…now why do you care about those evil corporatists, the restaurant owners? let's care about the poor, pitiful, dummies who eat in their restaurants.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                "DO NOT STAB SELF WITH FORK."
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                "DO NOT EAT SALT SHAKER."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ~~~~~
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                heck, what are lawyers gonna do if people actually took responsibility for their own actions?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  You forgot, "napkin is not edible."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  It can go on, and on, and on.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    They're just asking for trouble by not posting "Do not remove light bulbs and insert fingers in sockets."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Bill Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Wonder if they can cover themselves with, "Common sense required to eat here."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: chowser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        LMAO all of the above!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. I did not read all the posts, so sorry if this has been said(or asked as a joke). What do you call the person who graduated last in medical school?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Doctor

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  11 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: my3guys

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    What do you call a doctor who eats an artichoke whole, and then sues the restaurant?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    A dumb diner

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: joe777cool

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Dr. dumb diner

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: my3guys

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        book smarts do not equal common sense

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        If you dont know, ask.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: joe777cool

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          >>"If you don't know, ask."<<

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          That ain't the MD way.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Pride is such an ugly thing.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: joe777cool

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Pride's all well and good. Hubris, on the other hand, is an element of classical tragedy for a reason.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              LOL. Ain't that the sad truth? :P

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Truer words were never spoken.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: my3guys

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          what do you call someone who didnt graduate from med school and got a phd in art history- Doctor

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: kpaxonite

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I thought it was "Waiter"....?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: ricepad

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              LOL so true

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        3. welllll wellllly well, here we have another dumb diner with a lawsuit!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runnins...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          <sigh>

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            It would seem dangerous for fast food joints to offend their obese clientele. Isn't that where the profits are?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Rmis32

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              He may be offended, but he's still patronizing White Castle. He just sends his wife in to get the burgers to go. Further discussion here:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/806886

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              dunno where they got the picture for that article, but it isn't a pic of the diner in question. i've teetered on the brink of 300 pounds, and whoever it is in that picture is way beyond where my waist ever went. At 300 i have some 'pressure' sliding into the booth in most restaurants, and I'm average height.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            3. i'm still looking to ascertain what has happened to the "dining doc chokes on 'choke" case.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              6 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                One of three:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It's been tossed out by the judge (which would never be printed, because that's not interesting) --

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                or

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It's been settled out of court for an undisclosed sum (again, not printed, because of settlement agreements, and it's still not interesting)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                or

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                it's still in arbitration, which will likely result in an out-of-court settlement (with an outside chance the bozo just drops it because he was distracted by something else)