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Nov 17, 2010 07:30 PM

Dumb Diners -- Maybe even YOU?

Diners as in Eaters.

"""A Miami doctor is suing Hillstone Restaurant Group, parent of the Houston's chain, after a bad experience with an artichoke...... he ate the entire thing, leaves and all.

According to the legal complaint via the Miami New Times, he suffered "severe abdominal pain and discomfort," was admitted to the hospital and an "exploratory laparotomy was performed where artichoke leaves were found lodged within [his] small bowell [sic]."

[...] He's suing for an unspecified amount for "bodily injury, resulting pain and suffering, disability, disfigurement, mental anguish, loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life, medical and nursing care and treatment, and aggravation of pre-existing conditions.""""

""""The lawsuit alleges that the server never asked if Carvajal knew how to eat an artichoke and that the restaurant had a "duty to train its table servers to explain the proper method of consuming an artichoke."""""

<Next he'll sue God for shorting him in the mental department. Now remember, this man graduated from MEDICAL SCHOOL).
Even a complete dolt could tell that the artichoke was not going down gently into that good night. How could he persist? Did he eat the choke itself? That is absolutely, utterly inedible!

When I first ate an artichoke, even I could figure that out. If it is sticking in your throat, piercing your cheeks, or causing a major gag reflex, then stop the eating. Just stop.
Who is the stupidest diner that you have ever encountered and what food "challenge" made him "special"?

Will you cop to any of your own? <I'm off the hook with my vague arti-"CHOKE" story>.

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  1. When I moved from Boston to east Texas, folks talked a lot about chicken fried steak, and I didn't know what it was. And I had a high level job where one doesn't ask stupid questions, so for a long time I didn't know whether it was poulty or cattle or both.
    I thought soft shell crabs were really neat and easy because you buy them, sautee them, and eat the whole thing. Then one day a fish monger asked me if he would like for him to clean them for me.
    I'm sure I could go on, but I don't want to win a stupid trifecta.

    2 Replies
    1. re: Veggo

      In order to chew the artichoke leaves enough to swallow them... Well, that guy must have teeth from hell! Or maybe he's a steer and eats silage and tough weeds all the time? He seems to have the brain of one.

      1. re: Caroline1

        Please. What next, suing a BBQ joint when you swallow a rib whole, bone and all?

    2. The original comment has been removed
      1. Would you want that guy to be your doctor?

        2 Replies
        1. re: monku

          He probably knows the hemlock maneuver.

          1. re: monku

            they do say laughter is the best medicine...sounds like this guy is worth at least a couple chuckles at his expense...

          2. can we count the judges on The Next Iron Chef who ate banana peel garnishes? ;)

            4 Replies
            1. re: goodhealthgourmet

              yes -- banana peel garnishes count! thanks ghg!

              1. re: alkapal

                I remember smoking banana peels. And I do not mean offset firebox over hickory.

              2. Was he alone? Did nobody see him eating it- waiters or other diners? Smells fishy to me.

                At Dim Sum, my friend (a dim sum novice) went to eat the lotus leaf the sticky rice comes in. I saw it, STOPPED HER, and showed her the correct way to eat it.

                13 Replies
                1. re: pdxgastro

                  Thank you - a local restaurant has a dish that is described as 'served on a lotus leaf' or something like that, and my husband always thinks of ordering it but hasn't yet - partly because we didn't know if one should eat the leaf or not.

                  1. re: occula

                    I can see how someone could eat it by mistake, especially if they're used to eating grape leaves. Well, I can see how someone might try to eat it but I would think it would get stuck going down. But, then again, I would think artichoke leaves would get stuck going down.

                    1. re: chowser

                      As small-town midwesterners, I'm pretty sure neither of us has eaten a grape leaf, or even *seen* a lotus leaf, so we don't know what the dish would look like - but I feel more confident now!

                      The artichoke thing, yeah, *ack*

                      1. re: occula

                        I think except for dolmata (stuffed grape leaves), it's a pretty safe rule in all cuisines that if it's wrapped in a dark green leaf, you're not supposed to eat the leaf.

                        1. re: yfunk3

                          There are many food wrapped in cabbage, spinach, and other greens. But, when you come down to it, try cutting it. If you can't, chances are, it's not meant to be eaten!

                          1. re: chowser

                            Yeah, but everyone knows what cabbage (NOT dark green) and spinach (not usually used as a wrap) and regular lettuces look like.

                            If it looks dark green, has thicker "veins" than usual, is big and tougher to break through with just a fork/spoon, chances are that you're not meant to eat it. With the exception of grape leaves (dolmata).

                          2. re: yfunk3

                            Another exception - laulau. You eat the (dark green) taro leaves that are wrapped around the pork and butterfish. On the other hand, the dish also follows your rule - the taro-wrapped bundle is inside a wrap of ti leaves, which you don't eat.

                            1. re: alanbarnes

                              I've seen people try. Its really pathetic with those plastic knives and forks they give you at luaus.

                    2. re: pdxgastro

                      The first true Tamale I ever done saw went into me wrapper and all, and I couldn't understand why everybody raved about them, because I was still chewing.....

                      1. re: mamachef

                        LOL, they were that good?! thanks for the giggle mc!

                        1. re: chef chicklet

                          ....and it was a husk wrapper. How chagrined was I when I looked up (gnaw, gnaw, gnaw) and saw what other people were doing first, e.g. taking them out of the husk. I wandered around with horrible shreddy fibers in my mouth for the rest of the day. The difficulty I had cutting into the damn thing should've tipped me off, but noooooo......

                          1. re: mamachef

                            I also ate the husk wrappers the first time I had tamales. It was at my very first "real" job while I was in college, and we had a little holiday potluck lunch. I ate three of them before someone stopped me. They seemed a bit chewy, but what did I know? I wasn't exposed to much in the way of ethnic (or real, for that matter) food as a young'un. Doh.

                        2. re: mamachef

                          Late to the game, but LMAO, mc... :)