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Cholesterol anyone...Turtle Burgers (sort of)

This from my disgusting little brother back in the "old country".

Handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave, then the next step, add hot dogs as the heads, legs with slits for toes and tail.

Next step. Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees. Or you can do them on the Barbee too. A little crispy, not too crunchy...just how a turtle should be, right?

 
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  1. They're adorable - I would just worry about the burger part being overcooked. Love it!

    1. no herbs? is it just store-bought ground beef, and not home-ground sirloin/short rib? no sauteed onions and veggies in the beef? this could be a great idea, but it needs a makeover.

      5 Replies
      1. re: lacunacoil

        Yeah. And some of that Heinz lipstick.

        1. re: lacunacoil

          Absolutely agree! I will try these, inject some aromatics, spices and TLC and report back.

          1. re: skaboy

            I'm thinking we need the addition of the fourth favorite meat product of USians, eg pepperoni. Perhaps enfolding the pepperoni within the burger body? Or layering it between the bacon and the burger?

            Or is that overkill?

            1. re: ZenSojourner

              i think pepperoni would take away from the smokiness of the bacon. it'd be good to do just pepperoni, or just bacon, but the two together would kill the awesomeness of both.

              skaboy, you might want to also try some pork and veal, along with milk-soaked bread in the beef to keep it tender, just like meatloaf. perhaps some kind of acid at the end to cut through the fat and brighten it up? let us know how it turns out.

          2. re: lacunacoil

            Thats a good point. Should probably be turtle meatloaf.

          3. OMG! I can hear my arteries screaming in terror just looking at it!

            Well they'll just have to scream. Anything that combines possibly the three most popular meat products in the US into one artsy dish deserves more than mere contemplation.

            Now where did I put that hibachi?

            1. I'd prefer them dipped in batter and deep-fried. Baked is so ... healthy.

              1 Reply
              1. re: ipsedixit

                Actually, deep frying them without batter would probably be the perfect way to get the bacon crispy while giving the burger a chance at not being overcooked! YUM!!!!!!!!

              2. To paraphrase the (or at least a) bard:

                Love to eat them turtles,
                Turtles what I love to eat.
                Bite they little heads off…
                Nibble on they tiny feet.

                1. " Bacon weave" won me over.

                  1. VERY clever - bravo bro! If you didn't want them to be lethal, you could make Turktles - turkey burger, turkey bacon, turkey hot dogs. Actually, I can imagine a frontal-view turkey Turkey, too - burger body, fanned sliced franks for the tail and head/neck, and a sliver of bacon for the caruncle and wattle. Wedge of pepperoni for the beak.

                    I think a menagerie of frankenanimal burgers would be a big hit for a little boy's birthday party.

                    1 Reply
                    1. re: greygarious

                      I think this came up along time ago and Sam was threatening to make them!