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Recipe limericks 3

Resurrecting the limerick threads 1 and 2..

I'm a sucker, a lemming, for a limerick
that slides off the tongue all cream and all thick
like a beautiful flan
that slips from the pan
and goes_down the gullet so sweet and slick.

We've learned in the past 'bout our poems:
If we want them remain on this forum
They can verge toward the crude
but must be about food.
So, bark poem with Chowhound decorum.

There are tips in the precursor thread http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/610864
of rhyming and meter, of which some may have dread.
But just pick up your pen,
and a limerick begin
of your tastiest sumptuous spread.

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    1. A limerical twist upon sharing with strangers, in the child's fable labeled "Stone Soup."

      When three hungry soldiers entered the town
      that was boarded for safety and fully shut down
      their plea and appeal
      was met with no meal.
      Townfolk feared for their lives, with good reason.

      The battle had raged for days infinitum
      these three men were just the young yoemen.
      Their bellies craved food
      be it simple or crude.
      But how coax it from folk who were hoarding?

      They fired the town's cauldron and stirred at that pot
      Showing peace, showing hunger, malevolent not.
      The townfolk emerged
      with a similar urge
      wondering just what those soldiers had got.

      "Stone Soup for all!" was the clarion call
      from soldiers whose hunger had granted them gall.
      "Bring cabbage, rutabagas,
      carrots, onions, potatoes
      We'll add to the pot for a great feast for all!"

      Those items, and more, did surely appear
      as the townfolk did slowly let go of their fear
      and brought their abundance
      for the good simple sustenance
      of Stone Soup for all in Town Square.

      This parable learned on my grandmama's knees
      as I sat on her lap and she read books to me
      bespeaks of a truth
      so natural in youth.
      It showed sharing could bring simple peace.

      1. When I started this thread a few weeks ago
        I'd been spending good time with a good friend of mine
        who was in the V.A. in a hospital bed.
        So my mind was on veterans and the things they had given us
        and the timeless sweet beauty of "Stone Soup" hit my head.

        But it seems that the story that I had to tell
        seemed a bit "Debbie Downer" like on SNL.

        My apologies.
        Limericks should be just fun as hell.

        So let us regroup
        and give fun to "Stone Soup"
        and your metrical recipes that will follow.

        There's a cadence can flow from deft cooking hand
        and be shared to show others how to make it.

        Since my meter has strayed from true limerick
        let's open the breadth of this thread full systemic
        and welcome all recipes metrically plyed.
        Just wipe hands, and chime 'em,
        with a wee bit of rhyme 'em,
        If it's good Chow, we're really a forgiving crowd.

        1 Reply
        1. re: FoodFuser

          I like the odd can of the chef
          To pleas not to eat it, I'm deaf
          I whip out a pan
          and pop open a can
          then gloppity-glop goes the chef!

        2. Hwaet! Praise for the prowess cuisine
          For KitchenAid mixers, that baguettes bred
          in steamy ovens, the perfect french one!
          Where dwell the eaters of lutefisk
          and many a mug of akavit quaffed
          A-viking they went, in search of the one.
          A-viking here, a-viking there,
          they went a-viking everywhere
          but never sign of the perfect one.
          The perfect one, with crust so fine
          A crackling crust! Food of Odin!
          Loki-curst, no perfect baguette to grace
          the dragon ships that homeward bound
          Back to the icy dark Norwegian winter.
          Hearty men! Strong men! No perfect one
          but perked they up at thoughts of lutefisk
          of akavittar, of torsketunger.
          Sweet salted moose! And Smalahove!
          and best of all, the hakarl of Iceland fame
          Soon rollicking, awash with mjød
          enbravened they thus, they homeward sped.
          Hwaet! Thus were the men of olden days
          Manly men of iron constitution
          Bravely their food they faced
          more or less!
          Hwaet!

          1. Simple limerick, or something like it:

            My heart was a’flutter
            In my kitchen I puttered
            Concocting my wheat toast and my jam

            As I reached for a slicer
            For the butter to spread ‘er
            I spied me leftover fine ham

            Mm, I sputtered
            ham's got to be better
            better than planned toast and jam

            I wooped and I hollered
            I snickered and swallowed
            Give over the toast and the jam

            I grabbed up me slicer
            For the joint to cut her
            But butter was slicker than ham

            Like lightening I twisted,
            But narrowly missed
            The butter just oozing it's flam

            The knife I did toss
            What a terrible loss
            There’ll be no more lovely pink ham

            The dish it did clatter
            The butter it splattered
            And down it all went with a bam

            O jeez, so much clutter
            I gulped and I spluttered
            And then I went back to my ham

            The floor was awash
            in a buttery gloss
            just ripe for the splat of my can

            I strained but I teetered
            And my butt I near shattered
            All due to greed for sweet ham

            Ah well, I'm a nutter
            a nutter, I tell ya!
            Ham being better than Spam

            As I slipped on the butter
            I took heed of the matter
            And vowed never again damn the jam

            2 Replies
              1. re: roxlet

                Isn't that silly? I'm sorta embarrassed I posted it. 4:59 am, maybe that was the problem, too early for rational thinking.