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Recipe limericks 3

Resurrecting the limerick threads 1 and 2..

I'm a sucker, a lemming, for a limerick
that slides off the tongue all cream and all thick
like a beautiful flan
that slips from the pan
and goes_down the gullet so sweet and slick.

We've learned in the past 'bout our poems:
If we want them remain on this forum
They can verge toward the crude
but must be about food.
So, bark poem with Chowhound decorum.

There are tips in the precursor thread http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/610864
of rhyming and meter, of which some may have dread.
But just pick up your pen,
and a limerick begin
of your tastiest sumptuous spread.

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  1. A limerical twist upon sharing with strangers, in the child's fable labeled "Stone Soup."

    When three hungry soldiers entered the town
    that was boarded for safety and fully shut down
    their plea and appeal
    was met with no meal.
    Townfolk feared for their lives, with good reason.

    The battle had raged for days infinitum
    these three men were just the young yoemen.
    Their bellies craved food
    be it simple or crude.
    But how coax it from folk who were hoarding?

    They fired the town's cauldron and stirred at that pot
    Showing peace, showing hunger, malevolent not.
    The townfolk emerged
    with a similar urge
    wondering just what those soldiers had got.

    "Stone Soup for all!" was the clarion call
    from soldiers whose hunger had granted them gall.
    "Bring cabbage, rutabagas,
    carrots, onions, potatoes
    We'll add to the pot for a great feast for all!"

    Those items, and more, did surely appear
    as the townfolk did slowly let go of their fear
    and brought their abundance
    for the good simple sustenance
    of Stone Soup for all in Town Square.

    This parable learned on my grandmama's knees
    as I sat on her lap and she read books to me
    bespeaks of a truth
    so natural in youth.
    It showed sharing could bring simple peace.

    1. When I started this thread a few weeks ago
      I'd been spending good time with a good friend of mine
      who was in the V.A. in a hospital bed.
      So my mind was on veterans and the things they had given us
      and the timeless sweet beauty of "Stone Soup" hit my head.

      But it seems that the story that I had to tell
      seemed a bit "Debbie Downer" like on SNL.

      My apologies.
      Limericks should be just fun as hell.

      So let us regroup
      and give fun to "Stone Soup"
      and your metrical recipes that will follow.

      There's a cadence can flow from deft cooking hand
      and be shared to show others how to make it.

      Since my meter has strayed from true limerick
      let's open the breadth of this thread full systemic
      and welcome all recipes metrically plyed.
      Just wipe hands, and chime 'em,
      with a wee bit of rhyme 'em,
      If it's good Chow, we're really a forgiving crowd.

      1 Reply
      1. re: FoodFuser

        I like the odd can of the chef
        To pleas not to eat it, I'm deaf
        I whip out a pan
        and pop open a can
        then gloppity-glop goes the chef!

      2. Hwaet! Praise for the prowess cuisine
        For KitchenAid mixers, that baguettes bred
        in steamy ovens, the perfect french one!
        Where dwell the eaters of lutefisk
        and many a mug of akavit quaffed
        A-viking they went, in search of the one.
        A-viking here, a-viking there,
        they went a-viking everywhere
        but never sign of the perfect one.
        The perfect one, with crust so fine
        A crackling crust! Food of Odin!
        Loki-curst, no perfect baguette to grace
        the dragon ships that homeward bound
        Back to the icy dark Norwegian winter.
        Hearty men! Strong men! No perfect one
        but perked they up at thoughts of lutefisk
        of akavittar, of torsketunger.
        Sweet salted moose! And Smalahove!
        and best of all, the hakarl of Iceland fame
        Soon rollicking, awash with mjød
        enbravened they thus, they homeward sped.
        Hwaet! Thus were the men of olden days
        Manly men of iron constitution
        Bravely their food they faced
        more or less!

        1. Simple limerick, or something like it:

          My heart was a’flutter
          In my kitchen I puttered
          Concocting my wheat toast and my jam

          As I reached for a slicer
          For the butter to spread ‘er
          I spied me leftover fine ham

          Mm, I sputtered
          ham's got to be better
          better than planned toast and jam

          I wooped and I hollered
          I snickered and swallowed
          Give over the toast and the jam

          I grabbed up me slicer
          For the joint to cut her
          But butter was slicker than ham

          Like lightening I twisted,
          But narrowly missed
          The butter just oozing it's flam

          The knife I did toss
          What a terrible loss
          There’ll be no more lovely pink ham

          The dish it did clatter
          The butter it splattered
          And down it all went with a bam

          O jeez, so much clutter
          I gulped and I spluttered
          And then I went back to my ham

          The floor was awash
          in a buttery gloss
          just ripe for the splat of my can

          I strained but I teetered
          And my butt I near shattered
          All due to greed for sweet ham

          Ah well, I'm a nutter
          a nutter, I tell ya!
          Ham being better than Spam

          As I slipped on the butter
          I took heed of the matter
          And vowed never again damn the jam

          2 Replies
            1. re: roxlet

              Isn't that silly? I'm sorta embarrassed I posted it. 4:59 am, maybe that was the problem, too early for rational thinking.

          1. It’s been quite a an interesting week on Chowhound
            With knife-sharpening and thread-locking all around
            The conversations that put CH on the map
            I thought I would indulge in a quick recap
            Upon reviewing the threads, this is what I have found

            The homecooking boards are settling in with the weather
            And adjusting to the autumnal pantry of regions nether
            Yes, chicken paprikas is quite dreamy
            But, please, don’t dare call it creamy
            The use of certain words have ruffled quite a lot of feather

            The prohibition of such simple words had made my fingers stutter
            When trying to describe a simple thing as a sauce made of nut butter
            Much less trying to recall if I’ve ever said, “yummy”
            Over a bit of cookery that has quite please my tummy
            It was a shock to see how many words I now think twice to utter

            Still, ‘twas nice to see tempers rise over something other than salt
            As Goodhealthgourmet has kindly asked us to bring that to a halt
            Of certain matters we know we will never agree
            But old topics will come with new people, like me
            (I never said, but I do think it must be the whole diet that is at fault)

            Were we made to be all the hungrier by all this seemingly myopic fighting?
            I suspect we were, as one can not live on a diet of sniping and backbiting
            With the melancholy changing of the light
            We lightly turned our attention to a last bite
            And quickly sought refuge in a lyrical and humorous form of writing

            We spoke yet again of the odd and curious ways we like to break the fast
            Offering tips on ways to concoct the warm meal that is the days ballast
            But it was surprising some had the chutzpah
            To tell Rasam how to properly make upma
            As we waited for the topic of how yolks should be cooked to come up at last

            We shared tips on the best places to score spices when one can’t get to Penzey’s shop
            And what, if any, foods are destined to remain a mere dish of beloved homemade slop
            Interestingly, right now, two different posters want to discuss 7-11
            Which reminds me, I for one think Chef Boyardee is a bit of heaven
            And am I the only one who got my butt handed to me over diet soda pop?

            4 Replies
            1. re: onceadaylily

              I take offense to this. I did NOT tell Rasam how to make upma. I only noted that his recipe was different from mine, and then actually corrected myself when I looked at it again and discovered that it was, in fact, virtually identical to mine.

            2. Fun fun fun... keep 'em coming, folks...
              the recipes and rhythms and the sweet corny jokes.

              1. Preparation of Spinach, with a nod to the big guy, Grandaddy of greens, simply named Popeye.


                He fondles the bag in the grocery store freezer
                a full pound of spinach, just right for this geezer
                who dreams of that time he was Popeye.
                A muscular, pipe chewin' buff, but thin guy.

                Nowadays his attention
                is on muscle-mass retention
                (and colon condition)
                And cooked frozen spinach has both fiber, and iron.

                He yearns for those days
                when cartoonish he played
                with his thin female foil
                who was named Olive Oyl.

                He'd chug down a can
                of the spinach on hand
                and Olive delightfully
                watched his biceps expand.

                Today, it trends more toward the frozen, than canned.
                And Olive Oyl's been renamed to EVOO.
                So just dress your cooked spinach
                with a bit of Her essence,
                and also consider a splash of good vinegar.

                So back to the geezer
                at the opened-door freezer
                mixing intimate memories
                with squeezing the bag...

                He'll take spinach home,
                let remembrances roam,
                As he heats it and adds oil and vinegar.
                Fiber, calcium, and iron,
                and salt from dropped tear,
                as his chuckles are mixed with soft crying.

                He remembers those days
                when he squeezed can, and chugged
                and those big bulging muscles
                from skinny arms were displayed.

                Though simple to prepare,
                complex memories are there
                of spinach just steamed
                dressed with vinegar and Oyl.

                1 Reply
                1. re: FoodFuser

                  Not quite a Haiku, just a version quite shorter
                  of Popeye and spinach in his this final quarter.


                  Spinach grabbed from the freezer
                  by once muscular geezer
                  (That pipe-chewing guy known as Popeye)

                  Zapped, nuked, and be-sprinkled
                  with vinegar and drippled
                  with EVOO, in praise for his dear Olive Oyl.

                  His tears bespeak journey
                  From sailor, to savorer
                  of spinach and friendship consumed there within.

                2. There's a potluck tonight on this Halloween Eve
                  I'm making rolled collards stuffed in the manner
                  of classic beef-rice- inside rolled cabbage leaves.

                  Our hot Okie summers relegate us to status
                  of hoping garden cabbage won't bolt in late Spring.
                  But collards are such a dependable Fall crop
                  such abundance of crucifer leaves they do bring.

                  They're a tough pesky rascal
                  that I prefer wrassle
                  with a trip to the freezer
                  and then, hit with some steam.

                  Rendered roll-able, supple
                  they make fine comestible.
                  Rolled like a cee'gar
                  with the beef and the rice,
                  ain't nobody gonna think that they ain't nice.

                  Especially when sauced with good canned tomaters,
                  and crushed seed of the coriander, cumin and caraway.
                  It might, just might happen, that there might be leftovers,
                  but that sure as heck ain't never happened before.

                  2 Replies
                  1. re: FoodFuser

                    Bravo, a limerick with excellent taste!

                    1. re: bushwickgirl

                      It wasn't quite metered as true limerick
                      but let's joy the embrace
                      from food styling com-padres
                      testing meter and pace.

                      Are there more Chowhounds out there?
                      who want to give dole
                      of their most haven-ed recipes
                      with poetical soul?

                      Any meter or metric is yours to extoll.

                  2. Tonight we gave praise
                    to cauliflower braised
                    placed in Crueset
                    then placed in the oven.

                    It's a darn simple dish
                    but really delish.
                    The biggest decisions are:
                    "How to cut it?"

                    Often the cooker,
                    approaching cauliflower,
                    will break it down
                    based upon multiple florets.

                    Tonight , we just sliced it
                    from top pole, to bottom....
                    one inch slabs, longi-sections,
                    of cauli-medulla-oblongata.

                    Then sprayed with a minimum of EVoo,
                    Each slab, sliced and sprayed,
                    was lovingly placed
                    into the hot fire of the oven.

                    Twenty minutes of toastin',
                    them I tempered the roastin',
                    with a half cup of water
                    and I slapped on the lid.

                    Cauli be good after roastin' and toastin'
                    and comes to fruition after moistly it's braised.
                    Then, water decanted, and strong spices added,
                    lid again off, to aid in the dryin'.

                    Now it's time for the cheese,
                    a sure one to please,
                    to be melted and browned
                    so that cauli is crowned

                    with a bubbling brown mixture
                    with texture.

                    I'm partial to cheddar
                    when partake this endeavor
                    but the cheese of your choice
                    will damn do.

                    There must be white pepper
                    to give discrete flavor,
                    and I'm partial to the crunch
                    of coarse Apiads, too.

                    This is a dish of the Fall time,
                    though, once tasted,
                    you'll fix it
                    in Winter time.

                    Roasted-braised cauliflower,
                    with browned cheese,
                    has the power,
                    to bring lip-smackin' goodness to Anytime.

                    1. In Breakfast.
                      Break- Fast,
                      as we, and Sun, arises

                      It's just so melodious
                      to get some good oaties in us.

                      Good oat groats, well prepared
                      will take us to where
                      we can say "Heck yes, Top o' the Mornin!"

                      There's the beauty of Muesli
                      the healthier alternative to more fat filled Granola.
                      But Granola ain't really that bad.

                      But when read the ingredients of commercial "Granola Bars"
                      they're fat/sugar laden, and just try my patience.

                      Since Oats are the Groats that we fed to our horses,
                      they're probably pretty darn good for us, too.

                      In descending pattern, from bestest to worstest.
                      Here's the flow of the Oat.

                      Whole groat. Pressure or slow cooked.

                      Cut groats, sold as Irish or Scottish oatmeal.

                      Then the marvelous way that they've steamed 'em and rolled them on rotating stainless steel bars: "rolled oats."

                      From there we descend to aluminum -foiled packages that are labeled as "instant oatmeal". Please avoid those, and climb back up the ladder, to rolled oats.

                      I have a small crockpot , that daily I restock, with cut groats of oats for next morning.

                      Samuel Johnson once said, that the bucketed head of the Oatie feed bag was what nourished those numerous Scotsmen.

                      Things are simpler these days, when we peel paper can, and ingest our good oaties our own ways.

                      Yep, I'm an Okie, and also an Oatie, who gives bless to this, God's most beneficent grain.

                      1. Luncheon today has been culled from the freezer.

                        So, strands of spaghetti
                        microwaved to get ready
                        for dollops of sauce
                        that were simmered long time
                        Glomps of the Good Stuff
                        Tomato'd, spiced, thymed

                        Topped with grated Romano
                        and fresh grinded pepper
                        and layered with garden's
                        palm grinded oregano

                        It's simplest pasta
                        I'll keep make till I drop.

                        1. First frost is upon us, so I had to make chili.
                          Poblanos, both fresh, and dried into anchos
                          provided a warm bracing base.

                          And since just now Halloween
                          I had to add beans.
                          The simply done Pinto has grace.

                          Chopped onions, for sure,
                          but for deeper allure,
                          I added ground coffee beans.

                          Beef and pork diced
                          with cumin as spice
                          (Tho' I overdid comino real meano).

                          Then a can of the lycopene lift of tomatoes.
                          Then simmered a while on the stovetop.

                          Then out to the deck
                          to stuff said stuff down my neck
                          and celebrate coming of Fall.

                          1. Okay, I vote that FoodFuser be hired to write for CHOW. This is the sort of column the mag side of this site needs. FoodFuser, you made my morning!!

                            Carry on!

                            3 Replies
                            1. re: HillJ

                              I sincerely wish
                              more folks would give dish

                              of the bass-beat that unites
                              all cook's poet's souls.

                              There's no competition
                              in our crafted renditions
                              of recipes freed
                              let go'ed
                              and let flowed.

                              1. re: FoodFuser

                                I'm working on one as we speak.
                                Proper rhyme and meter I seek
                                Before I dare post
                                I'll give it my most
                                so you won't think that I reek

                                The going is rough
                                I consider it tough
                                my brain is a sieve today
                                but my quest for the rhyme
                                get's better with time
                                Won't let this one get away!

                                1. re: bushwickgirl

                                  As in all,
                                  It is matter
                                  of gently bespeak,

                            2. Coffee my way

                              Coffee mug in hand
                              All sweet and steaming
                              Espresso with milk
                              The cap rich and creamy

                              How did it happen?
                              This wondrous time
                              I’ll tell ya, please listen
                              To my a.m. coffee yarn

                              Five am comes quick
                              I awake and arise
                              I make a quick pick
                              Of the coffee I spy

                              My cupboard is jammed
                              With the world’s greatest beans
                              All varieties I’ve crammed
                              In containers that seem
                              To be different
                              But how can I tell
                              The light has not come up
                              And night keeps its spell

                              It’s dark in the kitchen
                              I can’t see too much
                              I reach out and grab
                              The first bag I touch

                              On to the grinder
                              The aroma does lift me
                              On to the brewing
                              It’s automatic, so easy

                              Some say coffee’s a gift
                              Straight from above
                              I say that our planet
                              Has shown us its love

                              I heat the milk
                              To frothing and creamy
                              I top my fine brew
                              And sip while still dreaming

                              Cappuccino it is
                              I’ve got it right
                              I’ll function soon
                              Caffeined brain a flight

                              Kenya AA
                              Sumatra and Mexican
                              Famed Blue Mountain
                              Honduras and Columbian

                              India, Java, Brazil
                              Whereever’s a hill
                              Cool nights, warm days
                              Even Kilimanjaro

                              Arabica, Robusta
                              And what do I chose?
                              Oh no, don’t tell me
                              How could I lose
                              Why it’s Café Bustelo!

                              1 Reply
                              1. re: bushwickgirl

                                One could do worse than have cupboards crammed with beans.

                              2. Ode to Oaties:

                                Those cold temps just keep coming
                                so it's time to give focus
                                to the beauties of oaties for breakfast.

                                Most times I use whole groats
                                quick dashed in the blender
                                That still intact seed
                                has the splendor
                                of un-oxided oils, and vitamins we need.

                                I prep it at nighttime
                                and just keep it simple
                                and dump the cracked groats
                                to a two quart slow cooker.

                                I toss in some prunes and some raisins
                                'cause those plumped-up dried fruits meet the cravin's
                                that would otherwise be fed with cane sugar.

                                In the morning, when the house is new warming,
                                a great steaming dish of oat groaties awaits me.
                                I stir in a scoop of unpasteurized miso
                                to add those good microbes
                                and much-desired taste of the salt.

                                It's best to use groats
                                but next best is the steel-cut
                                then next the Old-Fashioned rolled ones
                                from that Quaker that grins from that pressed-paper can.

                                Whatever your choice of the source of the oats be,
                                engage them with great nutritional glee.
                                We fed 'em to our work-horses, so oats surely oughta' be
                                a best breakfast, these crisp mornings,
                                for both you and me.

                                1 Reply
                                1. re: FoodFuser

                                  Dang. forgot to add in the addition of cinnamon, It adds floral notes to those groats,

                                2. Thinking just now,
                                  of the big Turkey Day
                                  At which family gathers to seek celebration
                                  and cackle of whose mashed potatoes are best.

                                  We may fail to remember that each of us, all,
                                  Are here for the feast
                                  and to face forth the visage of family beast
                                  That encompasses all of us, all of us, all.

                                  I know that the turkey, the dressing, are done
                                  by loved ones who seek just traditional fun.
                                  And platters well set
                                  to accept the incoming dishes.

                                  While I sure love the rules of
                                  "Just taters and slaw"
                                  I am bringing today
                                  the gift of asparagus, for flavor. for discourse.

                                  I lovingly shaved each single stalk down
                                  to what might give them opening pleasure
                                  Breached it with cheese
                                  In hoping they'ed find it a pleasure.

                                  There is beauty, as part of the recipe,
                                  of lovingly shutting your mouth,
                                  And instead take glee in their chewin'

                                  Asparagus is new. and that's quite an ado
                                  To loved ones a' chompin ', and slobberin'.

                                  Made it before them
                                  in simplest of fry pans
                                  Not expecting the kudos and chomping adorum.
                                  So easy to fix with hot pan and water

                                  Such simple we come to asparagus sperars

                                  1. Here is my first crack at a limerick for pasta e ceci:

                                    Fry butter, thyme, onions up fast, add
                                    Chick peas-- when softened, è basta
                                    Crush in the pan
                                    (Just smash with the can)
                                    Five minutes in, add cooked pasta!

                                    2 Replies
                                    1. Here, the day after Tthanksgiving:

                                      Well, there's gotta be something
                                      to be said of a dumpling
                                      That incorporates Turkeys and dressing.

                                      Mine's a really far cry from traditional Gyoza
                                      but the leftover ingredients is why.

                                      Pulverize the cole slaw and bits of the turkey
                                      into the matrix of leftover dressing
                                      and use that as the stuffing
                                      for a dumpling, seated in a potsticker wrapping.

                                      The dipping sauce rings of the season
                                      a far cry from soy and citrus seasoning.
                                      Use the leftover gravy and those unctuous cranberries
                                      to dip in... it's really quite pleasin'

                                      1. The thralls at the Malls and all of their shopping
                                        Have got me quite settled, that I must do some chopping
                                        of good food and fresh crisp ingredients.

                                        Consider the chicken.
                                        That protein so plebian.
                                        But yet when it's stuffed and it's tussled and tied
                                        then roasted in ways to bring forth the crisp skin
                                        it brings both saliva and tears to our eyes.

                                        As I view the abundance in our great grocery stores
                                        of beef roasts and hams and oh so much more
                                        I hold to the cluck
                                        of a slathered and tucked
                                        renditition of a roasted four pounder chicken.

                                        Of course there will be the required dressing/stuffing
                                        and the whole house will waft with the aroma of Sage.
                                        And undertones of onions, sausage, celery, rosemary.
                                        as the smell begins quell of the crisping of skin.

                                        In separate vessel
                                        but not at all peripheral
                                        are the makings of home-mashed potatoes.

                                        And in another cleaned vessel
                                        are the guts of the wassail
                                        of really good giblets and gravy.

                                        It seems that the concept of a Still, Silent Night
                                        might be punctuated by grunts and by slurps and by burps....

                                        I lay blame at the foot of the Altar of Gravy.

                                        1. It is Christmas.

                                          On eve of the feast of the original Christ
                                          that's been tangled with beasts like Saint Nicholas

                                          Can we simply retire for quieted hour
                                          and reflect on the Gift of the Magi?

                                          It was just those three dudes
                                          who rode camels over dunes
                                          following a star in the sky.

                                          They loped up to Bethlehem
                                          and there in a stable
                                          a-toss with spent dung and stale hay

                                          there shone a sweet soul
                                          newly borne, softly curled
                                          that would have a great change of affect on the world.

                                          Though they're oft elevated, I sorta believe,
                                          that the triplet of Magi's were regular guys,
                                          with good sense to follow a shivering quiver
                                          and deliver their gift of their spices

                                          On this day of Big Feast
                                          as we roast our best beef
                                          and our taters and veggies and sides

                                          Can we cock a soft eye to that kid in the stable
                                          and the gifts magnified much more than just from the Magi.

                                          1. Confronted today with a real big pig liver
                                            I seek back to those times when the hunter warrior
                                            extracted this organ, fresh, heaving, warm
                                            and took his entitled first bite.

                                            What pulse to those days when arrows in quiver
                                            were part of such important hunt.

                                            Today we debark to array of the meat depart
                                            and bring home our liver in cooled and sealed slabs.

                                            I supposes it's best what the food supply imposes
                                            but something inside me yearns to imbibe
                                            in raw bites of quivering liver.

                                            1. Imagine dilemma when here in mid-March
                                              we seek solace in sandwich so affectionately known
                                              for it's crunch of good bacon
                                              crisp lettuce, smooth mayo and maters
                                              Yep, it is old Favorite BLT.

                                              Lettuce is rampant, bacon is there
                                              Bread twisty tied..... what else is becared?

                                              Heck, it seems like the maters are missing.

                                              Time to push fist to the sky and eyes to the ground
                                              in praise of our awesome delivery system.

                                              With just curls of the rotating blades of canopener
                                              the prize of plump mater be had.

                                              While not quite the type of a great July Brandywine
                                              it is gift of tomato can be had from the can.

                                              Best if you slice it pole down to pole
                                              And lovingly squeeze and also de-seed it
                                              and then send from mind that it came from a can.

                                              Time to unfurl it in all of its beauty
                                              Ensconced in the ecstasy of deep-mayo'd bread
                                              With good crusted bacon
                                              and lettuce to how you provide

                                              Emerges a sandwich rings to the gift
                                              of springtime really darned good BLT

                                              1. Imagine surprise when bean-eater sat down
                                                Spoon ready to slop up his normal bean gruel.
                                                But cook had been gifted
                                                with capsicums and cumin
                                                And thus started debate of whose is best Chili.

                                                1. There once was a noodle whose first name was "Mac".
                                                  Thus no surprise that his last name was "Rohney".
                                                  So when he was dipped in some simmering water
                                                  he settled right in to his role as a noodle
                                                  until he was bubbled right up to Al Dente.

                                                  Hints of Gruyere then hung in the air
                                                  as Mac Rohney just wondered what's missing:
                                                  then white sauce was whisked
                                                  and grated cheese added
                                                  What great grated potential there.

                                                  Mac just surrendered to that hammock of cheese
                                                  to float in the waves of the Cheddared Gruyure
                                                  All this to maintain
                                                  his illusion in emulsion
                                                  That quintessential he was "Mac and Cheese".

                                                  1. There once was a man who cooked straight to the can
                                                    Just for this act they acclaimed him a Chef
                                                    They named him Chef Boyardee.
                                                    While most of his cooking really doth suck
                                                    There are good moments with his canned Ravioli.

                                                    Only with chopsticks to lift them.
                                                    Only with good coarse ground pepper
                                                    Only with Parmesan
                                                    I suppose we should call it it
                                                    Boyardee just made better.

                                                    1. We must appeal to the peeling of garlic
                                                      Each head shedding cloves that are covered in skin.
                                                      Now just how to unpeel it?
                                                      Some use the knife
                                                      but I use rubber roll.

                                                      1. Hoist cookbook and place in standing plexiglass tray

                                                        in effort protect pages from the upcoming fray

                                                        But as you get older

                                                        and stir sauces bolder

                                                        You just accept splatters s part of fun play..

                                                        My favorite cookbooks are those been inherited

                                                        Flip through the pages to where ancestor delighted

                                                        discerned by the splatters...

                                                        which one has most smudges?

                                                        touchstone to joys of those now long departed.


                                                        1. Once was a Mick who lived up to his moniker
                                                          and focused on cheese baked with Mac.
                                                          He found many recipes
                                                          but figured his specialty
                                                          should focus on uses of leftovers.

                                                          After he'd mastered the original dish
                                                          his cravings at breakfast congealed to this wish:
                                                          He'd construct a Fritatta
                                                          to eclipse any Strata
                                                          Eggs, cheese, macaroni, God Almighty delish!

                                                          He considered the firmness of cold casserole
                                                          and how best slice slabs from the whole.
                                                          Finger thick he sliced them
                                                          and then he browned 'em
                                                          assuring that crunch would be a primary role.

                                                          Diced bacon diced onions hit the hot sizzling pan
                                                          After a moment, he poured eggs according to plan
                                                          then slid under broiler heat
                                                          to ensure a firm set
                                                          to the crunchy slabs of mac surrounded by eggs.

                                                          As clan ran to the table, the proud Mick named Mac
                                                          Knew his Frittata was really on track
                                                          since all ate with a chorus
                                                          not entirely decorous
                                                          As everyone smiled as they shoveled and smacked.

                                                          1. He was handed some packages of really good beef dogs
                                                            and was hoisted to culinary challenge
                                                            that where there are dogs
                                                            there must be some beans
                                                            Thus seeketh he must best combination.

                                                            In stealthy tradition, he began with the cans.
                                                            Cranking the opener as only muscled guys can
                                                            Freeing the contents
                                                            Then one final scrape.
                                                            Twas the spatula that finally freed up the canned beans.

                                                            Attention now turned to the slice of those hot dogs
                                                            he knife-crafted each to stumpy one-half inch logs
                                                            that he set to the broiler
                                                            to give them a brown.
                                                            After that flame was emergence magnificent.

                                                            He had added some cumin and onions to his matrix of beans.
                                                            Now he folded in dogs, and slid into the oven.
                                                            For the browning
                                                            For the crowning
                                                            Of this lustered, most elegant dish.

                                                            One final item was a draping of bacon,
                                                            which sizzled as ensemble pulled forward.
                                                            Oven gives gift
                                                            Tongues give atonement
                                                            Of this version of good Frank and Beans.

                                                            2 Replies
                                                            1. re: FoodFuser

                                                              The camp meal was fixed with such ease.

                                                              Everyone helped, to varying degrees.

                                                              One carved meat, one shelled peas,

                                                              one filleted fish from the seas.

                                                              While FoodFuser was cutting the cheese.

                                                              1. re: Veggo

                                                                Admitted, were times
                                                                when, gathered for meals,
                                                                I was handed a wirecutter
                                                                and a big wheel of cheese.

                                                                Commanded by group mandate
                                                                to produce both thick wedges
                                                                and also thin slices.

                                                                Such mission disparate concerned me.

                                                                So I thumped on that wheel of cheddered casein
                                                                Seeking guidance of whether go wedges or slices
                                                                and yes, in that process, I farted.

                                                            2. Oh, why do they clamor for sliced hot dogs and beans?
                                                              Well, perhaps 'cause I served it up when they were teens.
                                                              I sauteed frankfurters
                                                              and took it much further.
                                                              They are older now, but still seek the franks and the beans.

                                                              1. Having ground up the beef and the pork for my burgers
                                                                I'm left with with dilemma of buns and of dressings
                                                                Is bun Kaiser or Rainbow?
                                                                Is lettuce thrice sliced?
                                                                Such wonderful musing, with quite a deep mystery, of meat hitting buns.

                                                                1. There once was a cook, confounded by hard squash,
                                                                  who knew not how to make rhythm nor rind of it.
                                                                  How best to peel it,
                                                                  or further de-seed it?
                                                                  These questions pressed hard on his mind.

                                                                  "Be not so baffled", said the maiden, handing peeler.
                                                                  "Tis just matter of good orientation,
                                                                  and also your angle of stroking,
                                                                  as you lay blade to the skin."
                                                                  That cooker of gourds learned a few new good things that day.

                                                                  1. Thanksgiving.

                                                                    There once was a man who was told to make succotash
                                                                    "Oh please!" he becried, "I'm not up to the task!"
                                                                    Then he got him some corn
                                                                    he got him some lima beans
                                                                    and found that, together, they performed as was asked.

                                                                    1. The pulling of pots and of pans from the cabinets
                                                                      make not a cook, but makes good beginning.

                                                                      Here's to the newbies
                                                                      Spoon and Spatula in hand

                                                                      Embarking as new cooks on such a fun journey.

                                                                      1. He came home with a really big bag of dried beans
                                                                        with all good intentions, as to their soaking.
                                                                        But upon cooking
                                                                        he found hardness in middle.
                                                                        So lackluster be, the life of a lover of beans.

                                                                        1. Opened tin of sardines, and a can of good tuna
                                                                          then gave savor ecstatic to both their aromas.
                                                                          Then tumble to bowl
                                                                          with admixture of mayo...
                                                                          Be it true that good fishies go to Heaven?

                                                                          1. In recall of kids voices raised to euphony of chorus
                                                                            in chant at the table "Beefaroni, Beefaroni!!"
                                                                            Simple the task to open the cans
                                                                            then with some heating
                                                                            Accord to their plates to chants and to tastes "Beefaroni!"

                                                                            1. A Poem About Mayonnaise?

                                                                              A Blender at the end of a stick,
                                                                              will make you mayo very quick!

                                                                              With all your ingredients at the temp of the room,
                                                                              how could your mayonnaise fail to bloom?

                                                                              If the width of the jar is nearly the same,
                                                                              as the end of the stick then you're in the game.

                                                                              To a one quart jar add the egg of a chicken,
                                                                              both yellow and white and your mayonnaise will thicken.

                                                                              On top of the egg way down in the jar,
                                                                              add vinegar, spices and you will go far.

                                                                              Now carefully pour on top of the stuff,
                                                                              the oil of your choice, but just use enough.

                                                                              Turn off the stick, press the egg to the bottom,
                                                                              now turn it on and we almost have got'um.

                                                                              When you see mayo at the end of the stick,
                                                                              slowly pull upward that's part of the trick.

                                                                              With the blender now at the top of the jar,
                                                                              it's mayo you wanted so there you are!

                                                                              Though Mayo's a matter of personal taste,
                                                                              when it's around me it won't go to waste.

                                                                              Finding Hellmann's or even the Food that is Best,
                                                                              depends on whether you're east or you're west.

                                                                              But wherever you end your food buying trip,
                                                                              you always will find they have Miracle Whip!

                                                                              - Antilope

                                                                              1 Reply
                                                                              1. re: Antilope


                                                                                Just be sure, after emulsion is over, to fully unplug any power to stick blender, as you wrangle your tongue in there for every last dollop.

                                                                              2. Limerical ode to the Super Bowl.

                                                                                It seems every year that men meet on the field,
                                                                                our gladiators, in pursuit of moving the pigskin.

                                                                                Clad in hard plastic and flexible Spandex and Lycra
                                                                                Joints wrapped in tape, for torque for that Mighta
                                                                                These be our Athlete Arthropods.

                                                                                Television coverage is by now most perfected
                                                                                With cameras that shoot from every perspective
                                                                                The goal-line of first down is colored in yellow
                                                                                and playbacks of moments of moving the ball
                                                                                are colored by good statistics and commentary.

                                                                                But what of us warriors, resigned to recliners
                                                                                Seeking corollary suckle of the next chicken wing?
                                                                                Our butts move the leather in soft symphony
                                                                                The creak and the squeak, has its own speak
                                                                                As we reach for the chips and the cheese dip.

                                                                                1. He wanted eggs, fried in the finest of fashion.
                                                                                  Thus he knew that he'd better use real butter.
                                                                                  A dollop to pan
                                                                                  eggs ladled in gently.
                                                                                  Aromas and textures and butter abounded.

                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                  1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                    Yea! Missed your posts and glad you are back!