Saving a piece for someone else: the ultimate chowhound sacrifice?
Was just reading this post http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/730496 by a chowhound trying to save one delicious wing for his wife. Got me to thinking about just how hard that can be for some of us hounds, especially if the other person is not present.
I have to admit I have failed to share many times but when I manage it and the recipient of my generosity is a true hound and gets it that this is an act of love, the moment can be magical, watching his or her eyes light up in pleasure. And being the recipient of such generosity, oh my! Of course like anything else, this has a chance to go awry.
Anyone else get that warm glowy feeling when giving or getting that last scrumptious bite or sip?
Yesterday I ate one half of this delicious eggplant parm sandwich... The bread was perfect- chewy on the outside, not crumbly or too soft and the eggplant was thin and light, plenty of gorgeous mozzarella oozing out, it was all I could do not to eat the other half. I ate every bite, even all the bread because it was SO GOOD (she said the bread is flown in from NYC) and I don't normally EVER let myself eat all the bread. The flavors were amazing. It was a thing of love. I hugged the deli owner.
So on the way home, my husband called-stuck at work and starving... I brought him the rest. I told him all about it, that it was magical, that it would taste so good he would want to smack himself. I kissed him goodbye, and gave one long last look at the EPP... When I called him later I asked about the sandwich first thing- and I get 'It was alright... bread was too chewy."
I MOURNED the loss of that sandwich for the rest of yesterday and all of this morning. He knew I was in lust with it, that I gave it to him because I love him so much I could know no greater joy at that moment than sharing such perfect sandwich-ness with my amazing husband. Our relationship would be even stronger, once I was able to share this food with him...
And he crapped all over it.
But I'll still share, usually the results are much more fulfilling...
re: Boccone Dolce
You know your husband best. Do you think:
1. he meant what he said, which means he was indifferent? Or
2. he could not get in touch with his feelings: he felt touched but was embarrassed to say so?
What I know is:
1. sharers - like yourself - will always share;
2. and if sharing is in your DNA, deep down in you, you don't even consider it a sacrifice.
Am I wrong?
Yes pika- I believe I called him a Brute!!
My guess, Parigi, is that I'm 21 weeks pregnant, hardly anything tastes amazing anymore and I was hoping my sweety loved it as much as I did ... and as he was probably hoping for meat!
Yes of course I'll always share-this is actually the first time I ever viewed it as a non-mutual happy ending!
re: Boccone Dolce
Aha! You're pregnant. Things taste different when you're pregnant.
After one too many experiences of thinking something is the most delicious thing ever and having him shrug and say, "It's pretty good," I have cut down on sharing with my husband. I'll give him a bite if he's sitting across the table, or more if he wants, but I won't wrap up half of the joy-inspiring sandwich which he will think is just okay.
But I always share treats with my 3-year old. Especially popsicles, which are currently his favorite food in the world. Once he asked me, "Mommy, why are you giving me the last bite of your popsicle?" I said, "Because I love you." Now he always saves the last bite of his popsicle for me. :)
Listen ladies, as one of the insensitive brutes, let me give you a piece of advice:
If they (whoever) wanted to partake of the food where we went, then they shouldda come! Eat your good stuff till you can eat no more. If there happens to be some left (which, if you saw me, you would know there would not be a crumb), sure, you can bring it home or share it or whatever.
I say, if you want the good stuff, then come along! LOL
Just one brute's philosophy.
Brute #2 shall attempt an answer.
If I was served a sandwich that was most sublime, I would think immediately of sharing it with my SO. Perhaps if I were extremely hungry, I would take a second bite, but make sure that it was symmetrical and thus did not damage the balance of the sandwich.
As I immediately phoned her to share my joy and let her know I'd be home quickly, and why, I would ask the waiter to bring me some heavy duty foil and a serrated knife. I'd slice the sandwich into perfect halves. To wrap, I'd crumple the foil to increase structural strength, and wrap each half closely and tightly to preserve the shape of the sandwich.
Then I'd dash from the resto, thanking God that it was still daytime business hours so that the florist I was speed dialing would still be open. (I keep the florist in speed dial just for this very type of situation, though I occasionally must speed dial to seek their assistance in getting me out of the doghouse.)
Driving quickly but carefully to pick up the red rose in a stemmed vase, I would observe caution not to brake too quickly lest I launch the sitting sandwich against the dashboard and dent its perfect shape.
On arrival, she meets me, giggles in glee, and we share the sandwich happily as Clarence the guardian angel looks down from above with approval. Yes, it's a Wonderful Life.
Years ago, as I worked toward overcoming my gender's propensity for being a brute, I took certain steps. Not only did I have laser hair removal of the forest of hair on my back, but also permanent laser depilation of that menacing unibrow just above my eyes. The surgery to reduce the Neanderthal jut of my jawbone was painful and expensive, but well worth it. Training sessions with a primate zoologist have fixed any possibility that I might inadvertently begin to grunt, even in my sleep.
That work, along with sensitivity training and continuing attendance at a support group, has reshaped me into the kind man who could attract the caliber of woman who is now my SO. She is worthy and deserving of far more than just half of a wonderful sandwich.
Along the way, I've had a few SO's who, after finishing their half, would gripe because I got two extra bites while I was at the restaurant. But, being by nature an insensitive brute in those pre-transformation days, the comment never disturbed me.
Life is good these days, but I must be careful never to watch the original 1968 "Planet of the Apes", lest I relapse with grunts and surliness and refuse to share my sandwiches.
WOW! What a great "what would the Brute do" discussion!!
First, FoodFuser, you are no brute. Might have been at one time, but that was a long time ago. Don't worry, its ok.
Second, fugeddaboudit!! The way I share is to get another one for anyone else. Mine is mine. I wanted it, I bought it, and I'm sure as heck gonna eat it. All of it. If it was that great, maybe I'll bring another one home. What can I say. And please do not eat off my plate at the restaurant. That is not a safe thing for someone to do.
i do that. i buy another of what i had for the BF. most times, he's not as entranced as i was (for whatever reason - time, difference of taste, etc.) but then <<I>> get another crack at the delicious thing! like queencru, below, if it was something i just couldn't finish, then he gets the leftovers.
and i hate when people don't like eating off each other's plates! i always offer mine and BF doesn't usually take any, which makes me feel guity taking any of his. brute.
I am a lady and feel the same way you do. If it's so good I want to eat it all, then I eat it all. My idea of a sublime bite may not be the same as someone else's idea of a sublime bite. Similarly, a bite that is sublime at 6:00 when I received it may not be sublime at 7:30 when I bring it home. If there's some leftover naturally, then sure I'll bring it home. Otherwise I'm not going to go out of my way! There are other times when I'm eating with other people and just don't want to share the food because it's just that good!
For me, it's the opposite - true love is sharing the "point" of a piece of cake or pie, the best first bite. Only my husband has qualified for that honor.
When my bf and I go out for breakfast, I always get their big fruit salad because its just full of 10-12 different fruits. My favourite is the banana, and I always save them for last. Even though he KNOWS Im saving them (b/c I do this every day), sometimes he will come in with his fork for one. Time slows down for me.. I hear "Noooooooooo" in my head. Then I take a deep breath, avert my gaze and just let him have it. Now, THAT is true love.
It's a fine line between something being so good that you have to share it or being so good there is no way anyone is getting any and they can fight me for it.
When I was still with my son's dad we went out to the most exquisite Italian restaurant where the sorbet for that night was blood orange. I was living in a part of the world where such things were rarer (literally) than pink diamonds and I was so excited that I was going to be treated to my all time favourite sorbet. When it arrived I took my long spoon and savoured that first moment of ecstacy. While I had my eyes closed my ex made the fatal mistake of trying to steal some of my precious sorbet off my plate. The next bit happened so fast, but my instinctive reaction was to defend my sorbet. I should probably mention here that I enjoy fencing and my long handled sppon was akin to a sword, which would explain how I pulled off such an excellent parry that saved my blood orange sorbet from attack. There was no way I was going to share such a rare gem with someone who may have liked it, but not swoon with pleasure over it.
But I do enjoy sharing food at times. I love baking something special that I know is going to be fantastic and giving it away for someone else to enjoy. That gives me a warm glowy feeling.
What wonderful responses! The gentleman who inspired me to start this thread said that he did manage to save one precious wing for his wife. http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/730496
If it had been me and I was home alone with the wing I really don't think I could have done it. The wing would have kept calling my name, taunting me, seducing me...