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Earthshaking Cutting Edge Sandwich Survey

Sure it is! Well, anyway, we've probably all seen those commercials for sandwich spreads where a pair of model's perfect hands peels back the corner of an artfully arranged sandwich and adds a smear of mayo to a lettuce leaf, then closes up the sandwich while a voice over tells us how incomplete our life will be if we don't use this product. It always leaves me wondering what kind of (supply your own descriptive here) puts the mayo on the lettuce instead of the bread!

And that led this idle mind to all sorts of ponderings on how people put together their sandwiches. More specifically, how and where they apply the dressings?

I'll admit to being something of an obsessive compulsive. Whatever the spread -- mayo, mustard, butter, peanut butter, sour cream, jelly, you name it -- it MUST cover the entire slice of bread, crust to crust, top to bottom, side to side. But I've had friends who just smear it on any old way and it doesn't matter a bit whether every bite of sandwich will have everything in it.

So I'm wondering how the rest of you make your sandwiches? A dab in the middle? A dab on the lettuce? Wall to wall, and maybe in laters? How do you do it?

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  1. I tried to spread "it" evenly on the bread. Although rare, I have also spread "it" on the meat.

    1. Spread to the edge, a bit in every bite.

      3 Replies
      1. re: bushwickgirl

        Yes, I do the same.

        I dislike it when restaurants put the spread on the lettuce with a burger - this just increases slippage and doesn't taste right. Spread goes on bread!

        1. re: bushwickgirl

          Usually I do the same. Sometimes if I can't decide how I want my sandwich, I will spread half to one edge and half of something else on the otherside. If you trespass the flavor border, you sometimes end up with unexpectedly delicious combinations like mayonaise, onions and peanut butter.

          1. re: bushwickgirl

            +1. Spread belongs on the bread, not the lettuce. And it goes on BOTH pieces of bread. Not just the top.

          2. I used to be a spread-it-to-the-edge man, but no more! In the interest of saving time and not befouling a knife, I buy mustard--the only condiment I use--with the surgically-precise nozzle and squirt the stuff to all quadrants of the bread. Then comes the meat and anything else I'm going to use. Works just fine and I enjoy my sandwiches as much as ever.

            1. I spread the bread. Wall to wall, side to side, up and down, top to bottom. Sometimes... no, most times, I spread mayo on one slice and the spicy brown mustard on t'other.

              1. I do mayo on one side and mayo + mustard on the other, spread with a knife all the way to the edge, in an even layer. I'm more a mayo gal than I used to be since I switched to Duke's mayo *choirs of angels singing*.

                My dad is the ultimate sandwich obsessive. Mayo goes on one slice of bread in a thin, perfectly even layer all the way to the crust, and then the MEAT ONLY gets stacked on that side. Mustard goes on the other slice of bread, spread exactly like the mayo, and then the CHEESE ONLY gets stacked on that side. Cheese cannot touch mayo and meat cannot touch mustard. That's the rules. ;)

                1. i actually do put put mayo on the TOMATO - especially on a BLT, because the mayo/tomato combo is so scrumptious. but yes, i still spread from corner to corner.

                  1. Depends on what the spread is. I'm not a big mayo person, but if I'm using it, it goes on the bread, spread to the edges. If I'm using mustard, it goes betweeen the meat and the cheese, so it doesn't soak in the bread.

                    1. At home, I put mayo on both slices of bread, and then I layer torn lettuce (yes, on the bottom), the filling (usually chicken salad or hummus, then the tomato, then the top slice of bread. The tomato has to be on top, with the slice of bread that is more generously spread with the mayo. If there is cucumber involved (the hummus sandwich), then I like to slide the cucumber slices so that half of each cuke is hidden under the tomato, with half touching the top of the mayoed bread.

                      If it's something like pastrami of corned beef, then it's just a drizzle of mustard on the top slice of the seeded rye. Good meats make life easier.

                      12 Replies
                      1. re: onceadaylily

                        What?! Mayo on a hummus sandwich? That sounds strange....

                        1. re: Bat Guano

                          I can't help it. I put the tomato on, and my hand automatically reaches for the mayo. "You don't need the mayo on this sandwich," I try to tell the hand. It doesn't listen.

                          It's actually a veggie sandwich with hummus. I put the hummus in the middle, where it is thoroughly guarded by layers of cukes, tomatoes, lettuce and avocado. I use a good, but dense, whole grain bread that can taste a bit dry without a little help.

                          1. re: onceadaylily

                            "I try to tell the hand. It doesn't listen."

                            You need to slap that hand, says bushwickgirl without malice, of course.

                              1. re: onceadaylily

                                Woops, an uncivilized hand, eh? Well, hands rule, you know that!

                                1. re: bushwickgirl

                                  Well, it was in self-defense. I had it coming, I'm sure. :)

                                  1. re: onceadaylily

                                    you WERE asking for it. trying to deny yourself mayo!

                                    1. re: mariacarmen

                                      You should see what happens when it's a martini that hangs in the balance.

                                      1. re: onceadaylily

                                        AHAHA! woulda chopped that sucker off by now.

                                  2. re: bushwickgirl

                                    I like mayo and I don't understand why some people find it disgusting. Sure, people will say thing like it has a lot of fat. Well, there is a lot of fat in butter and cream cheese and I don't hear people screaming about them.

                                    1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                      I think it was the combination of hummus and mayo that brought this on. But chickpeas adapt well to creamy and savory elements, and I tend to see hummus in a sandwich as a sub for meat, not for condiments.

                                      Mustard is nice on this sandwich as well.

                              2. re: onceadaylily

                                Well OK, when you put it that way it doesn't sound so bad....I bet a little sprinkle of crumbled feta cheese would be a good addition too.

                          2. My attitude towards bread and spread is much like my attitude to many other tasks. I know what I am supposed to do (scrape the butter/sunflower spread evenly across the whole slice); I try my best to do it (getting most of both slices covered); but then get bored and can't be arsed any more (failing to get it into corners).

                            If I'm using olive oil as a spread, all bets are off. Bread just gets a decent drizzle.

                            1. Mayo and mustard are spread on the bread. But sometimes I'll make a sandwich with a leftover dressing such as green goddess, in which case it'll get a dollop and a smear on the item I want it to accentuate most.

                              I think they do it that way on commercials so that you can really see how rich and creamy, or whatever, the spread is.

                              1. I don't make my sandwiches with mustard (only condiment I use on a regular basis).

                                I simply either spread, or squirt, the mustard on the area of the bread where I plan to bite into.

                                3 Replies
                                1. re: ipsedixit

                                  "on the area of the bread where I plan to bite into."

                                  Since most people eat the bread in its entirety, you are basically saying that you will spread or squirt the mustard on the entire bread.

                                  1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                    No, just the area that I intend to bite into for that particular bite.

                                    Scope out area where I want to bite into. Apply mustard to said area. Bite. Repeat as necessary until sandwich is gone.

                                    1. re: ipsedixit

                                      Ah hah. Exercise while you eat. Clever, clever.

                                2. I would not make a panel of plywood without gluing each layer of component veneer to the very edge.

                                  Same thing with sandwiches. Full coverage. Every square millimeter of that bread receives the sweetly laden stroke of my spatula.

                                  Are there sometimes excesses of my sauce administration, dripping from the crusty edge? Yes. Often. And that is what the tongue is for. To patrol the perimeter and lap up the excess sauce. And if I push on it, it often secretes more.

                                  A few trips of the tongue around the four sides of that perimeter can be a lovely thing.

                                  5 Replies
                                  1. re: FoodFuser

                                    If one has licked the ice cream out of the sides of an ice cream sandwich, one can manage the sandwich patrol. :-)

                                    1. re: FoodFuser

                                      That. Is one of the funniest posts. I have ever read. FoodFuser, if you write a book, will you tell me so I can buy it?

                                      Signed, your #1 new fan

                                        1. re: alkapal

                                          Maybe Freud, to your wishes, is here. (Rakes fingers thru well-trimmed beard for quick adjustment, and jauntily adjusts cigar in jaw at the appropriate professional angle. Then turns to couch...).

                                          "And we were talking, I believe, of sandwiches?..."

                                          1. re: FoodFuser

                                            Ah c'mon, Siggy...

                                            You of all people should know that sometimes a sandwich is just a sandwich.

                                      1. Mayo (preferably Duke's) is spread generously on entire side of bread or bun, both sides for many sandwiches, but mustard (creole, dijon, or hot German) on one side of certain sandwiches (those w/roast pork, esp.) If tomato is involved, it must be salted and peppered, and then it MUST touch the mayo. Meat must touch mayo (or mustard) on other piece of bread. If cheese and onion are involved, as on a burger, they must touch each other. (Bun, mayo, burger, cheese, onion, lettuce, tomato, s & p, mayo, bun--and I'll rearrange it if it comes differently.) If the sandwich in question is a fried seafood po-boy, I might add a squirt of ketchup to the mayo.
                                        I have been known to add more mayo mid-sandwich.

                                        1. We have not yet explored the cutting of the crust. How, and when?

                                          26 Replies
                                          1. re: FoodFuser

                                            Never trim crusts. EVER.

                                            And square sandwich bread is cut on the diagonal.

                                            1. re: LindaWhit

                                              I will admit that cutting on the diagonal yields the isosceles triangles that pleases many folks. We all like symmetrical satisfaction.

                                              But crust-cutting is a different issue. What about those who don't want the pan-browning crust around the edge of the lower 3/4's?

                                              1. re: FoodFuser

                                                What about those who don't want the pan-browning crust around the edge of the lower 3/4's?

                                                Tough. :-)

                                                1. re: LindaWhit

                                                  Linda, sweetly and gently, I cannot imagine you as the Seinfeld Sandwich Nazi.

                                                  I say keep the serrated crust knife, however quivering in potential refusal, in your right hand. Case by case, crust by crust, crumb by crumb.

                                                  1. re: FoodFuser

                                                    Nope. I like my crusts. The knife shall never go near them. :-)

                                                    1. re: LindaWhit

                                                      I was thinking of others that we feed.

                                                      For example, a lovely and blessed elder neighbor really enjoys a crustless sandwich on those days when she doesn't want to mess with her Polident.

                                                      I cut her crust. She smiles.

                                                      1. re: FoodFuser

                                                        I've been watching this exchange. You had to play the elderly card. *shakes head*

                                                        1. re: onceadaylily

                                                          Elderly "Card"? I don't know, or have, that item.

                                                          Part of the joy of dealing with the elderly is that, at a seasoned age, you fully realize that this is a passage through which you too shall travel. You learn, and you love.

                                                          She likes chicken salad, with fibrous meat and very spare mayo, the most.

                                                          1. re: FoodFuser

                                                            We all have cards we play (I say sweetly and gently as possible). I was teasing, and did not mean to take a teasing exchange to a point of awkwardness.

                                                            As Ani Difranco sang, " . . . old age will distill you". Hopefully love follows the learning.

                                                        2. re: FoodFuser

                                                          Wow, FoodFuser. I was only working off your initial question - the question of the crust. And I spoke as to what I would prefer. AND I was playing off the "fun" of the silly question about crusts. Had you *said* anything about elderly people, I would have said "however they choose to have it." But that wasn't your initial question.

                                                          1. re: LindaWhit

                                                            Linda, you're right, Fuser's wrong. If you start cutting the crust off, next they'll be wanting you to cut it into fanciful shapes with cookie cutters and God only knows WHERE that will end. Clearly foodfuser's elder friend was spoiled his or her whole life and had their crusts cut off (oh grow up already), which is a horrible thing to do to a human being.

                                                        3. re: LindaWhit

                                                          My mother, in her final months, would often ask for us to bring "something tasty" when we were visiting. This meant a ham sandwich - crusts off and cut corner to corner (into four dainty and very refined sandwiches). And tinned peaches.

                                                          1. re: Harters

                                                            And that is quite different from what FoodFuser had originally asked. Should I have a friend or family member who was near death, I wouldn't refuse them anything that was in my power to give them.

                                                    2. re: FoodFuser

                                                      Isn't it fun when we can keep it friendly?

                                                      As I admire and review my crust-cutting tool, I realize that it is more than fifty years old, a legacy item from mom.. It is spatulate, and one edge is smooth, for spreading mayo, while the other is serrated, to trim that crust if needed.

                                                      The handle is pure black walnut, full tang with three rivets. Thus, the metal runs down the full length of the handle.

                                                      The walnut finish is deep and dark. The color is maybe the result of years of loving use, or maybe just a few too-deep encounters with the mayo jar. It is a beloved tool.

                                                      As to crust, and spread, we still need to consider:

                                                      If you know that your eater's preferences is to trim, do you trim it before or after you build the sandwich?

                                                      1. re: FoodFuser

                                                        After you build the sandwich, and also after you wipe the spatula clean so it doesn't stain the cut sandwich eges.

                                                        Wanna give me that spatula? Sell it? Part with it prior to death? Sounds fantastic!

                                                        1. re: Caroline1

                                                          Crust trimmed after sandwich is composed, for very refined luncheons and tea party sandwiches. Nice neat edges, no content overhang.

                                                        2. re: FoodFuser

                                                          I think you have to trim after building. Otherwise the two "side" won't match EXACTLY.

                                                    3. re: FoodFuser

                                                      Crusto intacto. And no cuttus, even on the bias.

                                                      1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                        Well, that's okay. I've never met a Texan who could muster the courage to be isocelean and cut them sandos into a wimpy triangle. Not even equilateral triangles: I mean: things is either right, or they are wrong... don't confuse things with that liberal equilateralism.

                                                        It must have something to do with the rectangular grid survey that covers the plains territory, and the thinking in terms of geographical quarter sections. And the adamant "no crust" approach may be subliminally linked to your sweat-crusted Texas Stetson hat.

                                                        Quarter sections are a good thing when we are talking pimento cheese sandwiches. But they are best when served crustless. (Deftly dodges the oncoming stomping Stetson).

                                                        1. re: FoodFuser

                                                          Passadumkeg, how'd you get aholt of FoodFuser's password?

                                                          1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                            Why shiiii-it, that thars why I thunked Texans ate tacos! And Mainers use a top split hot dog roll for the ambrosic lobster, clam, crab, scallop and shrimp rolls. Mayo mixed w/ the lobster (except for CT eccentrics).

                                                        2. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                          "Cuttus interruptus" denies the beauty of the deep seated needs of the knife.

                                                          Help me here, PK. Might there be a middle ground twixt Crusto intacto and Denture defacto that would contribute to sandwich pleasure?

                                                          1. re: FoodFuser

                                                            Sure thing. It's called a muffaletta.

                                                            1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                              Sounds of booming laughter emanating over Brooklyn...

                                                              1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                Muff-a-lettya. I've always chuckled and wondered about the possibly romantic origins of that sando's name.

                                                                So now we move from rectangular quadrants and clean cuts to the dizzying world of the circle where we must worry about radius and circumference and Pi? Please do not take us down the road of spheres and parabolas and conical sections.

                                                                Dang, PK. This Okie asks this Texan to keep it simple, which we both know how to do.

                                                                So, whatcha gonna do with that cutting knife when you slide a fresh-made muffaletta to Grandma, and she looks at you with imploring eyes and toothless gums and says "Cut the crust off, please."

                                                                You're gonna be left with much less of a muffaletta, and it's gonna take a very good knife.

                                                                So Grandma awaits. She rode happily through those halcyon days of Wonder Bread and Miracle Whip. But now she awaits the crustless Muffaletta. Gums a' gleamin'.

                                                                1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                  Crustless Muffaletta? Man, I was into them before anyone else. I have all their CDs.

                                                        3. i spread on the bread. but a friend made a very compelling argument for spreading it on teh meat to lessen absorbtion of spread into the bread

                                                          1. Not only do I spread evenly and completely, but I obsess about salt. A crystal of sea salt on the tomato? On the avocado? On both? Does the beef need a bit? Talk about ocd. :)

                                                            1. Wow, who would put mayo on anything?? Well, I obviously don't like mayo but I do have slightly specific, er, obsessive sandwich making tendencies.

                                                              If it is a regular sandwich, dijon mustard goes heavily and evenly on one slice of the bread, side to side, top to bottom, maybe a little heavier at the crusts if crust is involved. Yellow mustard goes on the other slice of bread in the exact same fashion. If it is a sandwich from a friend's house and their bread is more soft than the kind I like, both mustards (if both are available) go on the meat/cheese, not the bread. Moist bread will not be tolerated!

                                                              If it is a burger, both mustards and ketchup are applied to the inside of the top bun only. This is due to the tendency of bottom buns to get smooshy from burger drippings. It could happen, one must be prepared! If lettuce is damp or if tomato is involved, they go between the cheese and burger and do not get to touch the bun.

                                                              If it is a veggie hot dog, the cheese goes all over the insides of the warm bun, then dog, then onions, then mustards and ketchup on top of the dog, not on the bun. The cheese placement is to protect the bun from condiment moisture and from cooking water if boiling was involved. If relish is available, it has to go on top of the condiments since it has been known to cause sogginess.

                                                              Oh, good grief, I'm much more dorkier than I had originally thought!! Still, I enjoy eating and it is far more enjoyable when the bread is not soggy.

                                                              Last one, if it is a grilled cheese, butter goes on the outside of each slice, evenly spread, top to bottom, side to side. All available mustards and ketchup go on the plate and are dunked into in an excessive manner. Yum!

                                                              Now, if it is a restaurant sandwich, there are two places here that I adore, no mayo needs to be stated twice because they forget sometimes. No oil/vinegar unless I'm up for it. One place gets the oil and vinegar right by not putting it on the bread but by putting it between the toppings--brilliant!

                                                              I'm remembering how I used to make sandwiches based on how my gram used to make them. Butter on the insides of both slices, heavily and evenly spread, condiments on top of the butter. No soggy sandwiches here! She used to put butter on sandwiches I think due to her old fashioned/depression era ways but I know she put it on both slices just to please me and my fear of wet bread. What a nice grammy! It is a miracle I'm not overweight!

                                                              1. I don't use butter, I drizzle EVOO on it.
                                                                The other rule is, I try and make the filling as thick as one slice of the bread.

                                                                The one I'm eating now has about a tub of coleslaw and a 250g pack of roast chicken (it's a ciabatta). Nom nom nom

                                                                2 Replies
                                                                1. re: Soop

                                                                  Didn't your mom ever tell you not to talk with your mouth full? Listen to your mother! '-)

                                                                  1. re: Caroline1

                                                                    Hah, she also taught me not to eat with my hands, and that's one of the best ways to eat!

                                                                2. Mustard on one side (the top slice), mayo on the other (always the bottom slice). Spread wall to wall but I'm not particular about full coverage and OK with some slopage over the side.

                                                                  1. Actually one of the reasons that I rarely buy a sandwich is that they don't spread to the edge of the bread. In fact, last sandwich I bought had potential: homemade bread, house roasted turkey (sadly pretty rare around here - processed meats rule), cranberry sauce and mayo - one of my all-time favourites! But then I saw her apply the (suspiciously grey, probably Kraft?) mayo with a squirt bottle - Big Sigh.
                                                                    They have since closed.

                                                                    1. Love love love mayo and I put gobbs on so when I smash my turkey, cheddar and avocado on rye that the mayo squishes out.
                                                                      If I'm making my famous tomt and potato chip sandwich, that has to have even more mayo since the potato chips sop up all that heaven sent thing of beauty, Best Foods Mayo..
                                                                      I do like good dijon mustard but not to much and I place that in the middle so when it gets squished, it just goes to the edge of the crust.
                                                                      I am a condiment queen and love extra extra on everything!

                                                                      1. Apparently I'm a total weirdo.

                                                                        No mayo, ever. Hate the stuff.

                                                                        With the exception of hummus or other thick spreads, no condiments touching the bread, if at all possible. Makes the bread soggy. Condiments in between the fillings. If there's cheese, usually under the cheese. I think this is the result of years of truly disgusting school lunches packed by my mom who could not care less that I hated mayo and lunchmeat.

                                                                            1. re: ZenSojourner

                                                                              so what then? don't you dare say miracle whip....

                                                                              1. re: mariacarmen

                                                                                I don't require any kind of slimy stuff on a sammich. Just whatever you're making the sammich of.

                                                                                That said, mayo in tuna salad is fine, because that's part of the tuna salad. And I have a recipe for killer Bleu Cheese Dressing that requires (preferably home made) mayo. But somehow that's all different than sliming it onto a sammich.

                                                                            2. I saw a fight tonight. Twixt two southern ladies, whose normal demeanor belies the catfight that was exhibited.

                                                                              The issue was whether to cut, or not to cut, the crust from the quartered pimento cheese sandwiches at this upcoming Labor Day extravaganza.

                                                                              Both views have merit: crust on, and let them consume whole, or also let them gnaw it to the crusted edge, versus crust off, for totally disposed of consumption that leaves no trace.

                                                                              At home, I'm a "quarter it but leave the crust" kinda guy. Yet at times I freely succumb to the social pressure to trim the crrust.

                                                                              But at those times I feel a bit ensnared into the socialite motto of "we don't burp, we don't fart, and we watch our exhalate, and there never will be any remnant crusts upon our plate."

                                                                              Your thoughts on trimming the quartered pimento cheese sandos in social situations?

                                                                              11 Replies
                                                                              1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                Bleah pimento cheese!

                                                                                I don't get the problem with crusts. They're about the same as the rest of the bread anyway. I say leave 'em on.

                                                                                1. re: ZenSojourner

                                                                                  The generally accepted spelling is "bleh", not "bleah". But then, most of us don't use such pejorative terms when we post on Chowhound, as everyone has a right to like what they like.

                                                                                  Rake the Zen gravel in your temple meditation garden, Sojourner. As you reflect upon those freshly furrowed fine lines in the tiny stones, seek a space for allowance of each person's culinary choice.

                                                                                  Many people, myself amongst them, see the crust of loafpan baked breads as a different component from the uncrusted interior. Thus, the reason for the posted question.

                                                                                        1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                          Did I spell Eeep! correctly at least?

                                                                                    1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                      Pimiento cheese sandwiches? PIMIENTO CHEESE SANDWICHES! EVERYBODY knows pimiento cheese is used to stuff celery sticks to serve alongside the watercress and cucumber sandwiches, which DO get the crusts trimmed. My goodness, let's get things right.

                                                                                      1. re: Caroline1

                                                                                        In the finest traditional Southern social situations, both pimento cheese and cucumber sandwiches are served, cut into square quarters and trimmed. Debutantes in training sit through several sessions of instruction upon the proper method of consumption. The cucumber is viewed as a palate cleanser between repetitive courses of pimento cheese.

                                                                                        Within this elite circle, the pinkie is always raised and the sandwich gently held twixt thumb and index finger. The pinky is sometimes applied at those times when the white bread and pimento cheese sticks to the roof of the mouth. The unwritten rule is that it's okay to dig in there with the pinky to free that glued sandwich from the upper palate, as long as one maintains a vapid smile before and after the dig. Manicurists in Memphis will keep the pinky nail longer, upon request.

                                                                                        Celery has far too much crunch for the Southern belles, as the crisp crack of biting can be heard by others, and would draw attention to the demure individual. But stuffed celery still rules at parties. At plebeian dinner tables, the cut celery is placed on the table along with a jar of peanut butter and a bowl of pimento cheese, so that each diner can use their knife to stuff the crunchy trough just the way they like it.

                                                                                        1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                          "Stuff the Crunchy Trough" was one of my favorite Alice Cooper albums, by the by.

                                                                                          1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                                            Given his general demeanor, do you think he'd fit in with a group that is lifting their pinkies? I see him more as joining the crowd that's scraping the stuck bread from the roof of their mouth.

                                                                                    2. Definitely full coverage. Whether peanut butter or mayo, it has to be an even thickness spread, corner to corner, side to side. Same with the meat and other condiments. (Tomato slices must be cut in half to accomplish this). Going even further, it makes me crazy when ordering a sandwich and the "plop" the pre-measured amounts in the center of the bread. Yes.... I'll remake the sandwiches. Friends either laugh at me or want to kill me.... understandably.

                                                                                      1. I don't like spreading condiments on bread because it sops it all up. I just slather it on top of the contents of the sandwich - keeps it from being an overly dry experience.

                                                                                        1. Typically I spread mayo on the bread, but not in a surgically precise way. I put the mustard between the meat and cheese. Sometimes I spread it, sometimes squirt it, but it typically doesn't go all the way to the edge because the flavor seems overpowering if I put enough on to do that. These would, however, be utterly boring bread/mayo/not enough prepackaged lunchmeat/not enough sliced cheese/sometimes pickle sandwiches.

                                                                                          I spread mayo on the bread for chicken salad or tuna salad sandwiches, which I have been told is excessive.

                                                                                          When I get a sandwich from a restaurant, I am so excited to have something that is not the boring combo detailed above that I am not picky about the placement or spreadage of the condiments.

                                                                                          A burger gets mayo on the top bun (spread), mustard on the bottom bun (typically squirted) and ketchup (squirted) on top of the patty. If I am having a boring topping day, this means the ketchup and mayo mix, which doesn't bother me. At a restaurant, again, I am not picky about placement.