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May 27, 2010 08:34 AM

i'm powerless over ... mayo


I'm a mayo addict and I'm tired of it. Take this morning -- why did I need to put mayo on a egg and cheese bagel? Why am I continuously stock piling little mayo packets in my desk drawers at work to put on pretty much anything I eat (lunch, snacks, anything but candy).
I need it with normal foods (sandwiches, chicken/tuna salads, fries, etc. -- but always adding extra) and not (ramen/noodles/baked potato, grilled vegetables, any roast meats, the list goes on).
It is most awkward when eating with others at dinner or being a guest in someone's home -- I can't ask for a bottle of hellman's by my side o_O, I just hope there is something containing mayo already and secretly hope I can sneak in some more. This is occupying too much mental space!

What are better, tastier, and healthier ways to add flavor to foods? Any good fun alternatives?
This might seem silly but I need help -___-

Thank you

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  1. No, there are no healthier/better/tastier alternatives. Fries dipped in mayo? Nirvana.

    If you want to be healthy, forget trying to achieve the same mouth feel and psychic happiness that a good mayonnaise gives you. Ignore the health food addicts.

    Don't forget, healthy food is overrated. Think Jim Fixx and enjoy your glorious mayo, in moderation as the sainted Julia notes, in moderation.

    1. Well, clearly, you need to eat more candy. You're welcome.

      But since you do seem to want help, I'm going to give you my top four not *too* bad for you condiments: pesto (made with spinach), sundried tomatoes, balsalmic vinegar, and chutney. These can go on pasta, salads, sandwiches and meats, adding a lot of flavor and moisture. Oh, and there's always hot sauce.

      And as a significant portion of my posts lately have mentioned chutney, I am going to have to stop and think whether or not *I* have a problem, with chutney.

      2 Replies
      1. re: onceadaylily

        thanks guys ^-^
        I think the best solution I can come up so far is to only insist on GOOD mayo -- not some generic packets or hellman's even (?!?!) I'm sure if I decided that I would only eat nice homemade mayo that I had to make every time myself it would cut down on the consumption considerably.

        (on the topic of pesto, hot sauce, and chutney all I could think of how awesome they'd be mixed with mayo ::sigh:: -___-)

        1. re: olia

          Yes - one of my favorite ways to prepare thick lamb chops or pork chops is to mix up one part each of olive oil and harissa paste (North African condiment, comes in tubes, always a French brand because they're nuts about it) with two parts Hellman's and smear it thickly all over the meat before baking it on a rack... but wait, you're trying to get AWAY from mayonnaise. For some reason I can't quite fathom... look, if you do make your own, don't think for a minute that'll make you cut down. You'll probably just be making a new batch every other day! (Hint: drop a big clove of garlic into the running processor, then scrape all the tiny bits down and proceed with your mayonnaise. Yum yum.) Oh, heck, I'm sure I'm being no help at all... But hey, olive oil, lemon juice and eggs. What the hell is unhealthy about that? Unless you get no exercise and smoke a lot. Just don't do that, and bon appetit!

      2. It's not the mayo, it's what you put it on. Meats and veggies, fine. Bread, chips and starchy stuff not so much. You might want to start making your own mayo, that way you can come up with the perfect blend.

        20 Replies
        1. re: MandalayVA

          Why no mayo on bread or starches? As another poster suggested above, mayo and french fries is a winning combination. And what would a meat sandwich be without mayo?

          Now, Olia, I can't have your back with the ramen or baked potato & mayo combos... you just need to break the addiction, sister. But, that said, I love mayo too (but only Hellman's or the housemade stuff... no Duke's for me). For a while I used the Light Hellman's and it never satisfied me. And then I went home for a visit (PA) and had an Italian hoagie and it tasted SOOOO good and I realized that that was because it had the full fat hellman's mayo on it. I bought a jar of the real stuff when I got home and never looked back.

          1. re: lynnlato

            "But, that said, I love mayo too (but only Hellman's or the housemade stuff... no Duke's for me). For a while I used the Light Hellman's and it never satisfied me."

            Sooo true. I tried it for awhile, and it had the same feel as margarine. Ick.

            I tried the homemade one time, and, like homemade ice cream, can't have it around very often. Hellman's, amazingly, is still excellent, although of course the ounces are less.

            In addition to the wonder of mayo and fries, I have shared that I made the Hellman's dressings back in the 1960s, thanks to Madison Ave. Hellman's and oil and ketchup and relish and lemon juice and different variations thereof........and, in my house, we had only iceberg on which to put this lovely concoction. Yum.

            Ever put mayo on white bread? Yum again.

            1. re: anonymouse1935

              Delicious, yes. Healthy, no. Fat by itself is fine, fat and protein even better (which is what mayo is since it's eggs and oil). Bring a starch into the picture and all the health problems which are blamed solely on fat rear their ugly heads. I'm a Hellmann's devotee too but when I'm eating sandwich stuff I spread the mayo on a big piece of leaf or Romaine lettuce instead of bread. Crunchy fatty deliciousness. And I can eat celery dipped in a mayo/sriracha mix all day.

              1. re: MandalayVA

                Mayo + sriracha was SUCH a revelation to me. Spicy crab and crawfish rolls at my local sushi joint come slathered with the stuff. I could bathe in it. >insert Homer-Simpsonesque drool here<

                1. re: LauraGrace

                  Whatever you do, don't dip a grilled cheese sandwich in that.


                  1. re: Davwud

                    *goes to the kitchen to make a grilled cheese sandwich*

                2. re: MandalayVA

                  Mandalay, I've never heard the fat + Starch combo = problem before. Do you have any source for more information on this, I'd like to read on it a little bit! Thanks!

                  1. re: mateo21

                    A good start is Gary Taubes' "Good Calories, Bad Calories." Taubes is a science journalist and the book basically blows everything that's been taught to us about what constitutes a healthy diet out of the water. It's in paperback. Some of it's a little on the technical side but it's eyeopening reading.

                  2. re: MandalayVA

                    While eggs are present in mayo, they are a minuscule amount. Check any mayo label for protein content. It is fat fat and fat. Hellmans is my favorite.

                  3. re: anonymouse1935

                    Okay, yum, yum and yum.

                    As I kid my love affair with mayo was such that I used to eat wonder bread mayo & iceberg lettuce sandwiches. As if the lettuce somehow added an element of nutrition to the otherwise naughty concoction.

                    We used to eat french fries topped w/ melted mozzerella cheese and then dipped the fries in a mayo-y 1000 like dressing. Pure gluttony.

                    1. re: lynnlato

                      "french fries topped w/ melted mozzerella cheese and then dipped the fries in a mayo-y 1000 like dressing."

                      Wow. That's something even I had never thought of.

                      All this talk of mascarpone -- I bet fries dipped in mayo mixed with mascarpone would be good.

                      Cold dark meat turkey with mayo and cranberry sauce and chestnut/apple/onion stuffing all smooshed together is outstanding.

                      FoodFuser, we don't have Duke's here, is Hellmann's just as good? Yes, I am a mayo addict, and proud of it. I put mayo on Kettle Brand sea salt and vinegar chips (their best flavor and I've tried them all), when I am crazy enough to have both in the house.

                  4. re: lynnlato

                    Agree about Duke's. It's not sold in my area. Picked up a jar when I visited Dallas. It was disappointing. I'm back with Hellman's/Best Foods.

                    1. re: Babyducks

                      I live in Duke's country (NC) but was raised in PA on Hellmans. I've tried Dukes on several occasions (the locals here swear that a tomato sandwich w/ Duke's is perfection) but it just doesn't do it for me the way Hellmans does.

                      1. re: lynnlato

                        Every once in a while I reach for Duke's because it's so much cheaper than Hellmann's. But Hellmann's is so much worth the incremental $.

                        1. re: southernitalian

                          Not here; Duke's is slightly more expensive, but I'm willing to pay the extra $ for Duke's (which, incidentally, contains no sugar). I love it, but I'm a danged Southerner.
                          I do not, however, turn my nose up at Hellman's/Best Foods, which is a pretty darned good mayo. But do not put any other brand before me--no Kraft, no Whole Foods. And no veggie or soy substitutes, please. Low-fat? That just ain't mayo.

                        2. re: lynnlato

                          I also live in Duke's country (VA) but raised in NJ on Hellmann's. I don't refuse Duke's if that's all that's available and it's a very decent mayo but it's not Hellmann's.

                          1. re: MandalayVA

                            You captured my sentiment exactly. It's good, but it ain't Hellmanns.

                        3. re: Babyducks

                          Oh me too! I"m so glad I am not the only person disappointed with Duke's. I will forever be a Hellmen's girl. though Kraft is ok in a pinch. Anything besides the fat free crap.

                          1. re: KristieB

                            I will never forget the time my MIL told me, "This family prefers Cain's." She, of course, meant her and I had bought Hellman's. Duke is for southerners and Olde Cape Cod mayo is for damned Yankees.

                        4. re: lynnlato

                          Have you ever tried a combo of 80%mayo/10%ketchup/!0% mustard for french fries? I think this is what the old fast food Artic Circle Restaurant served with their fries. I'm hooked.

                      2. I am a lifetime dieter who loves mayonnaise (Best Foods) west of the Rockies.

                        Cut the mayo with mustard. Keep increasing the amount of mustard ratio to the mayo. It works. I have made tuna salad with just mustard.

                        1. I love mayonnaise!

                          I didn't think I'd ever switch from Duke's or Hellman's, but I am very, very happy with Veganaise. I like their grapeseed variety best. Slightly different texture, a little less calories and no cholesterol.


                          1 Reply
                          1. re: meatn3

                            I agree with you on Vegenaise. I was hesitant to try it, but I actually think it tastes better than regular mayo. It's amazing on a sandwich. I always buy the grapeseed oil one too.