What Do You Do With Your Food When No One Is Looking?

[michele cindy]

Someone posted something about rare london broil, and how they loved to eat the burnt little ends. I agree that's good, but got me thinking. After I slice up a rare london broil, I put it on a new plate, then I make sure no one is looking, and drink up all the blood directly from the other plate.

[zammdogg]

My better half (okay, me too) has to inspect the cookie dough for "contamination" every ten minutes or so. This makes a two dozen's worth cookie dough yield nine small confections.

[EWSflash]

8^D

[ecumer]

Just the usual I think. When the pasta pot is moving from the cooker to the bench for service, you need a good forkful to check it's okay. When the wok of hokkien mee is moving from the the cooker to the bench ... well, you get the idea.

When you're roasting a butterflied chicken and a few crispy bits stick to the roasting pan .. well, no need to bother the others, And yes, the parson's nose of a chicken is a cook's prerogative.

And the crunchy bits off the end of a meat loaf, or a beef wellington, or a coulibiac. When I was young, my dad & I used to argue (nicely of couse) over the crispy charred shank bits on a leg of lamb.

Cheers,

Ecumer

[EWSflash]

Oh yes- +1 on all (only I've never made hokien mee but i'm sure I would have to try it, what if it wasn't good?)

[cuccubear]

I’ve thought of something else which I did as a child, but don’t do now (if I did, it would be behind closed doors). Our family always had cats and I liked to lie on the floor and watch our cat eat her food - I was fascinated. Well, every Saturday night we would watch Love Boat, and I’d make popcorn. Since I was the only one eating it, there were a few times I sat the bowl on the floor, curled up like my beloved cat, and ate the popcorn right out of the bowl, no hands, just like a cat.

Now that my true confession is over, you can see I was well on my way towards “cuckoo” even then. :-}

[kattyeyes]

THAT IS HYSTERICAL. Love ya more now, brother bear! Still laughing...

P.S. Right there with you on Love Boat on Saturday nights (then Fantasy Island)! :)

[cuccubear]

Thanks, kattyeyes! Man, was I a weirdo! lol.

ps. My Mother hated Fantasy Island and would only suffer through it for the Carol Burnett Show.

[chef chicklet]

I don't eat potato chips, but when the bags empty, (why do they put that back into the pantry?) anyway, I lick my finger and get every last crumb I can. I enjoy the tiny condensed salty crumbs very much.

My worst offense is the mashed potatoes, I make them perfectly and if I'm waiting on people or food, I can't keep my spoon out of it. I pretend to whisk them around, add more butter, salt and pepper, and whoosh there goes that spoon right in and it scoops up a huge ol spoonful of taters dripping with butter...mmmm right into the mouth.
My husband's caught me on this one. I just can't resist, sorry.
oops one more, meatballs. Meatballs that are simmering in red sauce, I must have one with grated cheese, it;s like a ritual.

[alkapal]

potatoes with butter dripping? who *could* resist?

[Veggo]

My behind-the-curtain method I call mayonnaise liposuction is more relevant than ever and worth sharing. It is tough enough to get into those hard-to-reach places in a 32 oz mayo jar with a 2.5 inch opening when the jar is low and you really need a BLT with a good lather of mayo.
Now, with the packaging cleverness of Dukes, for example, their 18 oz upsidedown squeeze bottle has a 1 inch opening, a higher surface area to volume ratio, and you can't get a spoon in there even when you are desperate enough to get your hands slimy.
I hack those plastic bottles in half with a serrated bread knife with a combination of anger and purpose, like in the old grade B monster movies. And a simple teaspoon will enable you to extract what you paid for and need for that tuna or chicken salad.

[Cachetes]

Next time pull out the Sawsall. The newest in necessary kitchen appliances!

[alkapal]

i can use that sawsall for my poultry tasks! http://www.esquire.com/cm/esquire/ima...

[kattyeyes]

Don't forget your safety goggles!

[ToraFugusan]

I am plagued by little slivers of butter that jump into my mouth. Sometimes even chunks! Hence, no Darigold is allowed in my house. Kerrygold is the most preferred. My mother and aunt also suffer from this affliction. They have been seen on occasion chatting at the table with just a plate of butter, and a knife each. Whipping cream straight out of the carton also somehow finds its way to my mouth often...

[JEN10]

I saw a guy eating saltine crackers and butter the other day at our local steak house.

[kattyeyes]

JEN10: He THOUGHT no one was looking. :)

My mom shamelessly butters (individually!) little oyster crackers. Has done so for years.

Now that I've outed her, I'll throw in my previous confession from another thread: I've been known to shoot individual half-and-halfs (as you get at restaurants)...and love to eat individual jelly packets in a diner...stick my tongue right in the cup and mmmmmmmmmmm!

[JEN10]

OK I can see that, shame on you! Hehehehe

[c oliver]

You should have been around in the "olden days" when restaurants served cream in little,tiny single serving glass containers. The cream actually rose to the top. My parents drank their coffee black so my brother and I got to shoot the cream.

[kattyeyes]

Agree--that is right up my alley!

[ToraFugusan]

Oh yes, individual half-and-halfs!! The best freebies ever!

[EWSflash]

The first year my son stayed at home alone during the summer I realized one evening that he had done away with two packs of saltines and a quarter-pound of butter that day! Couldn't really blame the boy, though, I've been tempted myself.

Katty- try dragging the oyster crackers over the top of the butter- saves you a knife.

[alkapal]

>>>>Katty- try dragging the oyster crackers over the top of the butter- saves you a knife.<<<<

mmm, good idea for club crackers, too -- esp. if the butter is a little soft.

[kattyeyes]

Oh, boy--I'll hafta let you know if my mom figured this out and just doesn't do it with witnesses. HA HA! ETA: I just called my mom, who laughed and said, "I've done that, too!" How did you know?! LOLOL!

That's funny re your son, btw--wonder how he feels about butter now?! Is it one of those things where you've consumed so much of something, you're set for life? Like I wish I could be if I worked in a candy store, for example? :)

[tomatoaday]

Pieces of raw bacon when slicing. Cooked fat trimmings from corned beef. Drinking pickle juice or olive juice from serving bowls when empty. Licking a tortilla chip before salting and spooning salsa on. Not so hard to see the trend here - luckily it is all alone food.

[Shann]

When slicing steak or a roast, I'll trim off the burnt little pieces and eat them as I'm cutting. I also will make a sandwich out of anything. one of my personal favorites is a slice of lasagna between two pieces of buttered bread. Oh, and add ketchup and hot sauce to spaghetti sauce.

[alkapal]

my niece jokes that i'll make a sandwich out of anything, too. i've made a spaghetti in red sauce sandwich. pickle sandwich, no problem.

[onceadaylily]

I made a sandwich out of ham fat and catsup once. I was seven, and allowed to make my own after-dinner sandwich on Christmas day, unsupervised. My grandmother used to sneak bits of ham fat to me when no one was looking, so I thought nothing of stripping the whole ham of every bit of fat it had for my wonder-breaded concoction. I, in fact, thought I was brilliant.

When I sat down in the dining room, my mother narrowed her eyes at me. "Is that what I think it is?" she asked. The long table, the faces (astonished, horrified, amused) of my thirty or so relatives, and my mother's resolve that I *should* eat it (as a lesson) when one of my aunts wanted to take it from me, are so vivid in my memory.

Despite the resulting pain and nausea, and the fact that the sandwich was disgusting, I still admire my young self's initiative. And still enjoy putting *nearly* anything between two slices of bread.

[alkapal]

you are hilarious, lily! i'll bet you have a book somewhere? or a column? if not, you should.

[onceadaylily]

Aw, thanks. I am coming to the end of a four month sabbatical from my food service job, and I've used the time for a writing project I'd been thinking about for a long while. It's very food-centric . . . Chow has both hurt and helped me (great for the inspiration, but even better for the procrastination).

[NellyNel]

The only part of your ham fat sandwich that horrifies me - is that you mucked it up by putting KETCHUP on it!
ick!

:)

[onceadaylily]

What can I say? I was seven. I was in Michigan.

I also went through a strange phase where I associated the taste of food with its color, or (worse) its packaging. I was convinced that anything pink or red was deliciously loaded with sugar. I was frequently disappointed ( . . . Tab soda comes to mind).

I had so many obstacles to overcome.

[Veggo]

Ham fat on Wonder bread? Not exactly ripping through the color spectrum here. The ketchup helped.

[onceadaylily]

It was the spectrum of my 'hood. The Heinz gave it the glow of health.

[Veggo]

Lucky you. In my hood, it was usually associated with yellow crime scene tape.

[onceadaylily]

Did you miss any of my posts that declared me reared just south of Detroit?

The crime scene tape probably has NOTHING to do with my love of Plochman's mustard.

[Veggo]

I have seen your posts and I figured you are in Windsor, Ontario.
Just south of Detroit.

[chef chicklet]

I love ham fat, best fried too and put on soft bread with mayo.

[NellyNel]

mmmmmmm...yeah

[onceadaylily]

If you give me cooking tips on redeeming my ham fat sandwich, I will be dead before I'm forty.

. . . But, seriously, a chitlin sandwich? Hmmm.

[c oliver]

You do know that chitlin's aren't ham fat, right? Humor, right?

[onceadaylily]

Yes, Ma'am. I was reading earlier about the process for cleaning and cooking chitlins, and I thought that might well be a part of the pig I could not bring myself to eat after the 'scraping out'. But then I went to Chow, and thought, "Sandwich . . . ?"

Has anyone ever made a sandwich from fish eyes, I wonder? No one ever says what they taste like, only that they *love* them (when rarely mentioned), a chink in the wall of silence around the fish eyes.

[c oliver]

I had chitlins in a Chinese restaurant with Alan Barnes a couple of months ago. I think they called them "fried pig intestines" but I gotta say they were really tasty. I grew up in Atlanta but would never have considered eating them then.

[onceadaylily]

I envy you (both the meal and the company). I somewhat-firmly believe that in order to overcome squeamishnes, in regard to unusual food, one must first have it prepared, very well, for them (and, sometimes, with as little detail as possible). The modification here is my boyfriend's previous enjoyment of a restaurants' black and white pudding, until he asked me, so innocently, what the ingredient was that made the black pudding 'black'. He demanded a Google to prove my words, and orders a double white pudding to this day.

I still believe that the memory of a beautifully executed dish can urge a reluctant cook to go beyond the cultural standards of what is not only acceptable but *fine* in a kitchen, and on the tongue. I've never had chitlins, but I do want to . . . before I ever attempt them myself.

I lived in Augusta for a few years, and I regret every opportunity I passed up to sample the highly specialized southern cooking.

[c oliver]

lily, I think this could be a terrific topic for a post (if there isn't one already). I can still remember the first time I DIDN'T eat snails. I'm 63 now so this was about 40 years ago. I was dating a man about 20 years my senior and expressed an interested in them. He ordered them, tasted one and suggested I wait, that those were not very good. And a hearty yes to eating them well-executed by someone else prior to cooking them oneself. Think about starting a post on this,okay? It might open a few minds and could also make very fun reading.

[onceadaylily]

That is not a bad idea. Introduction to new foods can shape some of us so that the psychological boards the tongue in a very pronounced, and lasting, way. The appetite for food would seem to be a place where psychological issues have no room, but so many of us encounter just that.

You can be intimidating, C. Oliver, but I like you.

[c oliver]

I'm just old, not intimidating in the least. Gimme hell anytime it suits your fancy.

[alkapal]

i could make a pork rind sandwich. white squishy bread -- of course! which condiment? frank's hot sauce?

~~~~~
just had some awesome "pork belly homestyle" at a local szechuan place with fellow hounds. good eatin' , as andy griffith would say to aunt bea.

[onceadaylily]

I have five kinds of hot sauce, but not Frank's. I'll look for it.

Pork belly homestyle . . . I'm going to have to look for that during my next trek to the city (in the suburbs, it's lots of sesame chicken, General derivatives, and bad Hunan).

[alkapal]

frank's has medium heat, a good flavor, not really vinegary or too one-note. good in a soup or on beans or greens (plus some texas pete pepper vinegar for the greens, of course). here's what frank's looks like: http://www.buy.com/prod/frank-s-origi...

[iL Divo]

this isn't unusual I'm sure.
I like to grab the baked on cheese from the foil off of a lazagna or mac and cheese cover.
all the gooey bits that get baked onto a plate that is also usually cheese that has melted.
also like to peel a whole banana and have a bowl of sunflower seeds close and dunk each bite into the seeds.

[DawneeBabe]

The crispy, well done 'ends' of the meatloaf are mine..alllll mine..they never make it to the dinner table..no ones evar even seen 'em at my house Lol

[sbs401]

an awful lot of chicken skin "diapppears" when i am grilling up a bunch of thighs
strangely it sometimes pulls itself right off the bird to crisp up a bit more first

[onceadaylily]

I felt like a liar when I left that off of my list. The need to hide this stems from my boyfriend coming into the kitchen as I was preparing to shred roasted chicken thighs for a batch of soup. He looked at the naked thighs, then at my glistening fingers, and said "You ate ALL of them?" The horror on his face left its mark on me.

I'm glad I'm not alone.

[JEN10]

Love me the roasted chicken skin, and yes I feel shame.

[Cachetes]

Guilty here as well. As I was reading through the list, I was surprised that someone hadn't mentioned this earlier. I guess some secrets are so bad that they must be kept very hidden.....

[Firegoat]

That reminds me of the South Park episode when Cartman ate all of the skin off an entire bucket of KFC chicken . The creators of the series said that they were trying to think of something really horrible that Cartman could do that would make the other 3 boys not talk to him... that's what they came up with as the worst.

[onceadaylily]

Please tell me I am not the Cartman of Chow.

[boyzoma]

Every once in a while, we will get a roasted chicken from costco. My DH has threatened to buy 2 just so I will leave his skin alone! So I am guilty as well. I just love that stuff (*now hanging my head in shame*).

[kattyeyes]

Is it too late to change your avatar? That's priceless. You could get a lot of mileage with "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home!" or "No, kitteh, that's MAH pot pie!!!" :) Or "Listen, missy..."

[Firegoat]

Here's a clip of just the eating of the skin scene.... you'll have to take a look and see if that is INDEED you :D
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips...

[kattyeyes]

Cartman is a true chowhound. I love that Kenny is crying at the end. Thank you for posting that! HA HA HA HA!

[onceadaylily]

I *do* enjoy the occasional graphic novel.

[c oliver]

I have recently become VERY fond of toasted black sesame seeds. I sometimes put "some" in a tiny little bowl, moisten my finger with my tongue and dip into the sesame seeds.

[alkapal]

and another thing...

"running the rim" around the edge of the (softening) ice cream container once you've put the ice cream on the counter, while unpacking groceries. mmm, soft and creamy coolness!

[chef chicklet]

haha! my trick too! I'll turn a dish of the ice cream down, but I'm ever so happy to scoop it for everyone. I get the first rim, and sometimes a second run around. Best part, specially the chocolate ice cream.

[alkapal]

i use a spoonula inside the dip container to get the last vestiges of dip on the container's sides. sometimes a finger substitutes for the spoonula (which was based on a finger anyway, right? ;-).

[smartie]

I lick the plate with mashed bananas and cream. My mum and I have spooned double cream and brown sugar straight out the pot. Of course everyone licks the cake mix beater paddle (don't they??).

[NE_Elaine]

I won't even count the little slices of roasts or snitches of brown crusty bits, which I and my entire family refer to as quality control. I am a little embarassed by what I do when I make mac and cheese. I take the little crusts of bread that I cut off to make the bread crumbs and use them to clean up the last bits of cheese sauce off the sauce pot.

[kattyeyes]

Hey, waste not, want not. No problem! ;) Makes perfect sense to me.

[EWSflash]

Brilliant!

[UnderemployedInNYC]

Aside from eating with my hands- which I think really is the bast way to eat- I also indulge my love of sea salt. When alone and unencumbered I will salt: raw carrots, tomatoes, bread, toast with jam (try salting your jam people!) all with an obscene amount of sea salt. My current favorite salt though is Maldon.

http://underemployedinnyc.blogspot.com/

[grayelf]

Re Maldon: we call it the crunchy salt, and it gets put on everything. I swear it is not as salty as table salt.

My "alone food" thing is getting a small bowl, pouring in some white (has to be white) vinegar, adding salt (ideally Maldon) and pepper (ideally, freshly ground) and then dipping my burger in it. I started doing this when I was a teenager at McDonald's. I had a fascination for dipping the foofy bun in the vinegar concoction and biting into the "melty" bread that ensued. Still do it occasionaly if I'm on my own but not so much at MacDonald's anymore.

[Whippet]

Try it on sliced apples.

[JRicher]

I always seem to lose one or two ravioli in the transfer between the colander and the pot of sauce.

My SO doesn't like looking at the strip of fat around the edge of his ribeye, so, being the sweet and loving woman I am, I remove it for him before I bring him his plate. That most of it goes in my mouth instead of the trash is my own shameful secret.

[BiscuitBoy]

Plate licker...must be the oral fixation in me...Mostly with desserts, which makes me think I have this thing under control - yeah, right

[kattyeyes]

Plate, beater and spatula licker...desserts are primary, but mashed potatoes are right up there, too. ;)

[alkapal]

you beater licker, you!

[Soop]

Hmmm.

I can't think of anything, which suprises me.
I eat with my hands and things, but I do it all the time...

[cuccubear]

Eating a steak with your hands is very gratifying! Nothing wrong with that...gets me in touch with my Viking/caveman ancestors.

[alkapal]

grrrrr! ;-D. cuccs want meat! http://www.alaska-in-pictures.com/data/media/2/terrifying-grizzly-bear_4229.jpg
http://www.gutenberg.org/files/28657/28657-h/images/image46.jpg

fellow chowhound, indirect heat, has an idea that you might find appealing: http://indirectheat.blogspot.com/2010/04/meat-humor.html (new "easy-tear" perforated meat).

and did you see this post about "dino bones" beef ribs, from fellow hound "rojellio es caliente"? http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/6062...

[cuccubear]

Great pix, but perforated beef would take all the fun out of it. Rahhhrr!

[onceadaylily]

Rahhrr, indeed. We pan-fried steaks for the first time last week (Our broiler is broken, and we do not yet have a grill, and I was full of Chow tips when the temperature finally rose above freezing). We were at the market when I saw my boyfriend looking at the steak in a manner that bordered upon indecent, and was able to say, "Pick two."

"Do you . . . want a knife and fork?" he asked, after we sat down to dinner. This is the same guy who regarded me with brighter eyes after I ordered a Filet rare on on third date. "I don't need one, " I said. "You make beautiful steak."

And he does. He examined the threads I brought up from this site, and scrunitized them for needed ammendments (a slightly lower heat, and a smack on my hand when I wanted to flip too soon) for our cut of beef and the thickeness of slice. I ate the entire steak with my fingers.

[c oliver]

I have never understood the purpose of steak knives. If a steak needs steak knife, then something is wrong.

[Firegoat]

I cohabitate with someone who thinks all steaks should be done ..... I mean DONE. I grilled some NY strips in a way i KNEW would b good..... and took the chance on him hating it.
He did comment on the pinkness of the meat but.... said he could cut the steak with a fork and it was the best steak he had ever had.... I shall now lead him down the delightful road.

[onceadaylily]

In our household, it was the taking late-night scrambled eggs off the flame and imploring, "Trust me, please?" when the eggs were still soft, and (barely) liquid at the edges of the large curds.

[onceadaylily]

Agreed. That said, he *is* the one who introduced me to steak brushed with butter during cooking (back in the tiny hibachi days).

[EWSflash]

I'll cut it with a knife and fork but then spear the pieces with my knife and eat it that way. Not quite as primal as your preference but makes me feel a little wild. :-)

[michele cindy]

I also snag the "tush" from chickens and turkeys when no one is looking. If I'm at someones home I ask, but at my own, no one gets it but me.

[alkapal]

we always' called that the "pope's nose" or "parson's nose" -- and i wonder the origin.

it sure doesn't sound too complimentary -- "yes, i'm calling a chicken butt after your nose, sir!"

[c oliver]

I haven't researched this but I always figured it was because in years past, the popes were all Italian and figured it was in reference to their big, beautiful, Latin noses.

[alkapal]

you be lookin' at some diff'rent chicken butts than me, girlfriend! http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/imagenes_vaticano/vatican17a_05.jpg

you can refer to "pygostyle" in your next trivial pursuit. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygostyle

[pietro]

In Italian it's : "il boccone del prete" so "parson's nose" in the sense that it is a special bite kept for the parson not that it looks like an priest's nose. There's also obviously a bit of derogatory meaning. You could imagine the peasant's pleasure at offering the butt of the chicken to the local priest as a sign of respect but also making a point of it. I guess it became "pope's nose" in English out of the same derision.

[kbinsted]

I always snag the parson's nose, too! Thought I was the only one who did that.

Also, one time I was prepping a rabbit, and surreptitiously popped its raw salted liver in my mouth. Oh my god it was good. I can't say this is something I do regularly, but I felt quite dirty doing it!

[southernitalian]

You win.

[onceadaylily]

All burned bits, and sticky baking goodness are re-purposed for a sneaky appetizer, sometimes to the point of over-indulgence. Last thanksgiving, I was full by the time I sat down at the table. I think it was the two rolls that used to scoop the mashed potatoes with that put me over the edge. Or maybe the roll that I dipped into the carmelized brown sugar left in the carrot pan. Surely it wasn't the stuffing that was too burned to serve, or my obsessive need to check the sweetness of the whipped cream.

I also roast one more garlic head than I need for the dish, because as I'm popping them out of the skins it tends to go, "One for me, one for you, one for me, one for you" in an entirely fair distribution between mouth and bowl.

But I suppose the worst thing I do involves the peanut butter jar and a spoon. My hand to god, I always swear that I'm just going to have ONE spoonful and keep my saliva to my self . . . but I'm clearly lacking in character . . . and gaining weight.

[alkapal]

"""Surely it wasn't the stuffing that was too burned to serve, or my obsessive need to check the sweetness of the whipped cream."""

too funny, lily!

[tatamagouche]

Yes, I've said in many a thread that I'm a multiple dipper when it comes to PB jars and spoons, but I rarely do it in front of my SO, unless I'm kinda drunk.

Oh! Here's something else he doesn't know, unless he reads this thread, which he won't—I make a point of being the one to clean up sushi take-out so I can drink the little container of soy sauce mixed with wasabi on the way to the trash. Yes!

[EWSflash]

LOL!

[shaogo]

Oh, yes. I'm all over a carving board/plate with bread when there's a bloody mess left from slicing a roast. Can't say I've drunk from the plate; but you can bet I'll eat enough bread to soak the whole thing up. Don't have pets in the house anymore so it's just up to me...

I can't stand to see the last tbs. of dip, potato salad, etc. go to waste so of course I'm all over it with a fork or spoon before it goes in the d/w.

Loved the comment from Popkin about the raw beef. I even eat (*gasp!*) ground chuck that comes from our butcher -- raw -- before I make the burgers. If I have a great bunch of steaks and I can take a slice; I'll go to the trouble of making some Pecorino shards so I can have the beef with that and some EVOO.

[jbsiegel]

I used to do that with the raw burgers - until I had a bad experience once!

[c oliver]

I grind my own beef so I don't worry.

[iL Divo]

I love your photo, did you draw that?

[JEN10]

DIp Italian bread into the red sauce simmering on the stove. If no bread, a spoon will do.

[iamtheeiceworm]

Not red sauce fro me, but a large simmering pot of Puertorrican-style pinto beans with sofrito/tomato sauce/pumpkin squash (habichuelas guisadas con calabaza). I do this at church when I'm heating up the food for potluck during the service... SO good.

[JEN10]

ummmmmmmmmm, sounds delicious where should I show up and when?

[NellyNel]

Oh definitely.

Growing up we all did it - every Sunday - the loaf would be gone before dinner!!

[Popkin]

Whenever I'm preparing pieces of beef, I always cut a little off, dip it in seasoned salt, and eat it raw. Skeeves my husband out lol!

[c oliver]

I don't do that every time but often enough. My husband joins me.And, yes, the salt is a key component but I just use plain kosher.

[raidar]

Salt is definitely a good topper for raw beef. I also like grating fresh horseradish.

[NellyNel]

I do it every time!
(with plain Kosher salt for me)

I do it with ground beef too - and sometimes I get out of hand and realise I have eaten half of my meat! (love it with salt AND after it's been mixed with stuf for meatballs & meatloaf!)
Skeeves my hubby too

[jbsiegel]

Ummm....hiding head in shame...lick the bowl of remaining salsa after using it as a dip (while walking with it to the dishwasher).

[michele cindy]

I do that with frosting, but I suppose everyone does that right? :)

[jbsiegel]

Yep! And I also lick ice cream bowls and dessert plates more often than not!