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Cooking for ******** (expletive deleted) You suck at cooking. You f*** up rice

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rworange May 5, 2010 08:07 PM

That really has been my cooking mantra, so I am addicted to the site Cooking for Assholes.

This is not a site for anyone offended by strong language. So do not click on the links and then post indignantly about it. Move on.

The surprising part is this site has really good recipes and cooking instructions … but written like someone like Howard Stern might write them.

With so many precious restaurant reviews, I like the lack of reverence but earnestness about food … damn, I hope this guy never reads this sentence as I can imagine what he would say.

Here’s a restaurant review about a cool-sounding place called The Red Fox Bar located in the back of a produce store. He writes …
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

“The good thing is that few people know about it so it is filled with neighborhood regulars and service industry people.

This place is about neighborhood, urbane discussion (i.e. fart jokes), and some pretty damn good food. The sonoran dog is the bomb. If you don't know what it is you better ask somebody. The gumbo is also amazing. They also use a lot of local produce from the produce store in the same building, sustainable meats, and all that bullshit. I love this place and you should too. Patronize it.”

The joint is in Portland, Or … or near it … you would never guess the menu also has items such as steak frites, Caesar salad, pancetta blue cheese burgers along with gumbo dogs.
http://redfoxpdx.com/

I loved this guy taking apart a local food critic who ate some of his food at a charity event and then was unwise enough to write a review … a review too painful to read. http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

One of the comments

Review "chili stewed with various locally sourced veggies"

CFA comment:” The beans were from cans and so were the tomatoes. My red peppers and onions probably came from Mexico. My garlic was from a pre-minced jug.”

This isn’t a site about junk food though. He is into made from scratch and locally sourced.

Some interesting recipes

Fontina and Smoked Salmon Farfalle
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

"What the hell is farfalle?" Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to dumb it down for you. In layman's terms farfalle is bow-tie pasta but you can use the dinosaur shaped ones if you like

Garlic Spears
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Fried Chicken III - Bacon Wrapped
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Absinthe – Lemonade
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Horseradish - Mint Sauce
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Jalapeno Citrus Lime Chicken
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Habanero Buffalo Burgers
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Porcini Mustard
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Tuna Casserole
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Bambi Pie
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

How to Eat an Artichoke
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Strawberry Lemon Pie
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Brownies as Easy as Your Mom
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Crab and Bacon Bloody Mary
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

I found the site when googling for asparagus. The instructions for making the quiche crust were like they were written just for me

Smoked Salmon, Asparagus, and Cheddar Quiche
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

Lots of beer reviews
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

“I usually can't stand fruit in beer but I remembered that I love Caldera's Dry Hop Orange so I figured I would give it a shot. Buckbean Brewing's Orange Blossom tastes like a fucking malt liquor Orange Crush. This is the shit scumbags buy to get high school girls drunk. This beer has zero redeeming qualities. If I were lost in a desert for a week and then I came across a six-pack of these on ice I would remove them from the bucket and eat the ice.”

This isn’t the usual lemming food website. It answers to no one. As he writes

“Okay people, I have never asked you for anything. I don't even have ads to click or some dumbass "donate" button. I don't want the petty cash you earn from coal mining in West Virginia, your social security, or even your food stamps”

I love this site.

Read it

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    jcattles RE: rworange May 6, 2010 09:03 AM

    Hilarious! I'm definitely bookmarking this site. Did you see his site for foreign food?

    http://funnyforeignfood.blogspot.com/

    Again, not for the eaily offended or faint for heart.

    Thanks for sharing rworange

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    1. DiveFan RE: rworange May 6, 2010 04:18 PM

      Thanks SO much for these links.
      On the funnyforeignfood site, vegetarian haggis: http://funnyforeignfood.blogspot.com/...
      Major WTF! ROFLMAO!

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      1. cookingasshole RE: rworange Jul 23, 2010 11:16 PM

        I just found this by "googling" myself. Thanks for the kind words. I didn't really know about this website so I am looking forward to snooping around.

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          bob96 RE: rworange Jul 24, 2010 01:36 PM

          Not so much about being offended--who's ever offended anymore?--but bored by the lazy use of tired shtick. Whatever the bomb food, it's a gimmick with no real shelf life. IMHO.
          The funny foreign food site is even lazier and stupider. Razor sharp irreverence in the overheated food world is a precious commodity. But this ain't it.

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          1. re: bob96
            scoopG RE: bob96 Jul 24, 2010 01:59 PM

            I agree.

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            1. re: bob96
              rworange RE: bob96 Jul 24, 2010 02:00 PM

              To each his own.

              I'm bored by the self-importance of food commentary these days.

              Please refer me to whatever site it is that is full of razor-sharp irreverence about food. It would be a refreshing read.

              I'm not sure if this article about pig cheese is simply a hoax or a subtle commentary about the food culture these days
              http://www.lifeinitaly.com/food/rares...

              My reasons for it being a hoax AND a commentary
              http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/3220...

              Anyway, I find the that asshole site refreshing not only because there are too few irreverrant sites but particularily because there's actually good info on it. Others may aspire to be a Howard Stern, but don't have the intelligence to pull it off.

              Maybe there are other sites like this ... haven't seen them myself ... but I think few could pull this off as well and actually have good content.

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              1. re: rworange
                SanityRemoved RE: rworange Jul 24, 2010 07:51 PM

                Agreed. In this day of anyone with a keyboard is a writer and people hanging on to every word uttered by some bobble head on the Food Network, it's refreshing.

                Case in point the Clam Chowder recipe. If a person can avoid getting their panties in a ruffle they may learn a few things. You don't need to empty your silverware drawer of spoons to taste and check everything. There are other methods of checking the progress of potatoes as demonstrated in the recipe. If I had 100 pounds of fresh clams the majority are going to get steamed and eaten. Maybe when I get full I will contemplate using them for chowder. Very few restaurants would pay someone to sit for hours shucking enough clams to make clam chowder everyday. Celery in the chowder? Why not? Without variations we might have a total of five cookbooks in the history of mankind and most likely still be eating woolly mammoth on a stick.

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                1. re: SanityRemoved
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                  bob96 RE: SanityRemoved Jul 24, 2010 08:10 PM

                  Still don't get the appeal. Clever tips for making unpretentious dishes? Good info?Can't think of anyone offering these. Oh wait, Martha Stewart does. A little attempt at irreverence? So f****ng brave. Not asking for "donations"? Which of the hundreds of food bloggers do? Unlike thousands of others who don't feel they have to spit curse mechanically ever other sentence (same words, too) to draw attention to themselves? Please.

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                  1. re: bob96
                    rworange RE: bob96 Jul 24, 2010 09:54 PM

                    1, Hundreds of other bloggers advertise on their sites. This site doesnt.

                    2. This site appeals to people who would not be caught dead reading a Martha Stewart recipe.

                    So if it gets someone cooking and eating good food because of the irreverance and entertainment value ... as Martha would say ... it's a good thing.

                    And speaking of Martha ... I've been burned one time too many on her inaccurate recipes. There are still those buttermilk mashed potatoes that piss me off to this day because the recipe just doesn't work. I tried it multiple times. I should have just taken the money I spent on heirloom potatoes and thrown it in the trash. It would have been less of a hassle.

                    There is beauty in simplicity ... especially if it works.

                    It is not for you. That is ok. I find it hilarious and have picked up some tips.

                    Given the fact that the other day I set a pot of fruit compote on fire ... I mean it was damn dried peaches and orange juice ... the site speaks my language.

                    Again, please offer a suggestion for a cooking site that has a sense of humor ... irreverent or not.

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                    1. re: rworange
                      ennuisans RE: rworange Jul 24, 2010 10:20 PM

                      I enjoy http://www.shutupfoodies.com which is nothing if not prolific. But also funny.

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                      1. re: ennuisans
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                        bob96 RE: ennuisans Jul 24, 2010 10:24 PM

                        Here's an example o f humor and creativity. Look, my only real point is that programming the same profanity meme into every post deadens everything--and take that flavor away, there's little left. Nuff said.

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                        1. re: bob96
                          rworange RE: bob96 Jul 24, 2010 10:29 PM

                          Ah, it is the profanity that bothers you. I suspected as much. LIke I said in the OP, if that bothers you, don't click on the link. If it doesn't there/s a lot of content there.

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                          1. re: bob96
                            lynnlato RE: bob96 Jul 30, 2010 07:34 PM

                            So does the overuse of the word "sublime". If I had a nickel for every time I've read a review and the critic used that word...

                            I find profanity refreshing. I like it.

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                            1. re: lynnlato
                              cookingasshole RE: lynnlato Jul 30, 2010 11:17 PM

                              I hate the word surreal (non-food related). It drives me nuts!

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                              1. re: cookingasshole
                                lynnlato RE: cookingasshole Jul 31, 2010 05:01 AM

                                Yes, surreal is another one that irritates me.

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                                1. re: cookingasshole
                                  alanbarnes RE: cookingasshole Jul 31, 2010 05:19 PM

                                  Don't you be dissing my surreal tarte. It takes a lot of time and effort to make it look like a clock. And the presentation - draping it over something that looks like the dead body of an unidentifiable marine mammal - is NOT easy.

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                                  1. re: alanbarnes
                                    FoodFuser RE: alanbarnes Jul 31, 2010 05:35 PM

                                    Thus spake Salvidor Dali, as he draped that mechanical pocket watch.

                                    I take enough heat jeers and ridicule as it is, if I'm off-center with the egg on my huevo rancheros.

                                    But my refried beans save the day.

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                            2. re: ennuisans
                              rworange RE: ennuisans Jul 24, 2010 10:34 PM

                              "Attention locivores, omnivores, local butchers, backyard beekeepers, cheese fanantics and conspicuous consumers of consuming Your chickens won't save the world ... "

                              Funny. Thanks

                              Tho ... it seems to do exactly what it says it hates ...

                              For real? ... Burger King REALLY has this ad? If it is real ... that really is offensive. There should be an outcry ... food porn indeed ... with no redeeming social ... or nutritional value. As if the King wasn't creepy enough ... ick, Ick ick ... I don't think I can ever eat another Burger King burger.

                              http://www.shutupfoodies.com/?p=73590...

                              Edit: I had to Google because I truly could not believe a company would use an ad like that. It seems they did ... June 2009 in Singapore. Also totally grossed out that one of the site reporting it was a blog called Eat Me Daily. Seriously, I am so through with Burger King. I'll never be able to eat on of their burgers without thinking of this ad ... yuck.

                              It makes me wonder if there was double entendre in the original slogan of “Have it your way.”

                              Burger King ... what were you thinking?

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                              1. re: ennuisans
                                buttertart RE: ennuisans Jul 26, 2010 11:28 AM

                                Like that Australian ad on shutupfoodies. Fun.

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                              2. re: rworange
                                greygarious RE: rworange Jul 26, 2010 01:03 PM

                                Great writing, sense of humor, and more: http://confectionsofamasterbaker.blog...
                                and her other blog, about keeping chickens, growing/cooking your own produce, etc: http://freegraceliving.blogspot.com/

                                I agree, vulgarity is easy and gets old fast. Wit and creativity are harder but age gracefully. I recall being on a long elevator ride with several businessmen I did not know. One young fellow's all-purpose adjective was the f-bomb. He used it so many times it was practically a stutter. His companions exited on various floors until it was just the two of us. He casually asked, appropos of nothing, "Whaddaya think?" I took advantage of the opportunity to reply, "I think you need to find a few new adjectives. Try a dictionary - there's a ton of them, and lots that aren't 4 letters." His puzzled look told me that he hadn't a clue what I was referring to but with serendipitously perfect timing, the door opened at my floor and I was gone.
                                You have to relish the few moments that work out perfectly like that!

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                                1. re: greygarious
                                  scoopG RE: greygarious Jul 26, 2010 05:14 PM

                                  That's it. Replace every profane word with the word "like" and we would not even be discussing this.

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                                  1. re: scoopG
                                    greygarious RE: scoopG Jul 26, 2010 05:18 PM

                                    True, but my elevator exchange wouldn't have changed one iota! ;-D

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                                    1. re: greygarious
                                      scoopG RE: greygarious Jul 26, 2010 05:29 PM

                                      I meant the CFA website! We would fall asleep how quickly if on the CFA website every profane word was replaced the word "like."

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                                      1. re: scoopG
                                        rworange RE: scoopG Jul 26, 2010 06:49 PM

                                        Amazing that all these decades after Lenny Bruce, people can get so upset by language and it prevents them from getting the message.

                                        I really don't think the people who are on the language bandwagon really read any of the site becuse if you removed the few 'socially unacceptable to some" words, you still have a site that has a Don Rickles tone and sense of humor.

                                        One of the reason I put so many links in the OP was because, besides being funny, I wanted to show there is really terrific content there. So for the people who can't get over the language and an irreverent tone, as I originally said, don't read it.

                                        So, I take your challenge. Here's porcini mustard with the "bad" words replaced with ;"like" and some of the ingrediants and straight up instructions starred *** so no recipe infringement takes place.

                                        " While reading the latest issue of Gourmet in the waiting room of my psychiatrist, I came across this wonderful recipe for porcini mustard. For you morons who have no idea what the LIKE porcini is, it is a mushroom. It was intended to be used as a condiment for grilled lamb but it seems very versatile to me. So use it for whatever the fuck you want but it is pricey so make it for the right lady. Don't waste good mushrooms for no reason. Let's begin:

                                        Get 2oz of dried porcini mushrooms. Do not get them from that guy you knew in college. Place them in a bowl and ***. Oh yeah, place a paper towel over the sieve. If you do not have a sieve, and you don't, use a colander and two paper towels.

                                        Put *** Add 2tbl dijon mustard (don't even think about using the yellow LIKE), *** then remove from heat.

                                        Add *** and there you have it. This is really, really good so go out of your way to make it for a special occasion. Downside? The mushrooms cost $10. Eat it."

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                                        1. re: rworange
                                          scoopG RE: rworange Jul 26, 2010 07:37 PM

                                          No, not upset. Not upset in the slightest. CFA wants to impress a co-worker, so be it. Hey, why not try the third person viewpoint! My point is perhaps best shown by this re-written/edited April post:

                                          Saturday, April 24, 2010
                                          What's Up Losers?
                                          I have been like moving and like so I have not been able to update this like website. I have made like a whole bunch of junk recently, including like a scotch egg, but I have been unable to like post any of it. Give me like a few days to get my like interwebs service transferred and then I will like indulge all of you in my culinary endeavors and epic writing skillz. Until then, go like fuck yourself.

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                                          1. re: scoopG
                                            rworange RE: scoopG Jul 26, 2010 08:16 PM

                                            Like, you forgot to edit one word.

                                            Listen, it isn't your thing. However, there's some like fine content on the site and trying to prove it is a dumb site because of the language, just doesn't fly.

                                            I've learned a lot from the site ... more than all the boring, unfunny Martha Stewart recipes combined ... or whatever food clone of the moment is out there.

                                            At least he does it with humor and not like Gordon Ramsey who seems a mean-spirited person that uses profanity because he wants to intimidate his staff. I can't watch the guy because he is such a rude jerk. I'm sure though, because of the marketing hype, no one here would critisize GR and somehow manage to get past THAT language and worship at his foodie feet.

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                                            1. re: rworange
                                              scoopG RE: rworange Jul 27, 2010 06:54 AM

                                              Well you are right about GR - my main concern with him is his violent, downright scary nature.

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                                              1. re: scoopG
                                                cookingasshole RE: scoopG Jul 27, 2010 09:10 AM

                                                GR is nuts! he needs to smoke a doobie or something!

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                                                1. re: cookingasshole
                                                  rworange RE: cookingasshole Jul 27, 2010 09:22 AM

                                                  There are good aspects to Gordon Ramsey though. I can watch his show where he helps failing restaurants ... and for some of those places I want to swear at the owners. It is fascinating how stupid people can be ... especially considering their livlihood depends on making the right decisions.

                                                  It is just whatever his other show is ... where he bullies the staff ... just can't stomach that. It's not the language itself, but the attitude. No one deservers to be treated that way.

                                                  It is the perfect extreme example of taking food too seriously.

                                                  You can see from the failing restaurant show that he can have self-control. He is endlessly patient to failing places that work with him.

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                                                  1. re: rworange
                                                    cookingasshole RE: rworange Jul 27, 2010 10:16 AM

                                                    On those restaurant shows it always amazes me how disconnected the owner is from the manager and the manager is from the head chef. In the shows I have seen none of them get along and are always breaking out rulers.

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                                                2. re: scoopG
                                                  rockandroller1 RE: scoopG Jul 29, 2010 05:38 AM

                                                  OMG. It's all an ACT. If you've ever watched some of his other programs besides those on Fox (HK and the american version of Kitchen Nightmares), you can see what his personality is really like, and he seems like an awesome guy to me. It's all an act for tv. Geez.

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                                                  1. re: rockandroller1
                                                    cookingasshole RE: rockandroller1 Jul 29, 2010 09:09 AM

                                                    That sounds familiar...

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                                            2. re: rworange
                                              Joanie RE: rworange Jul 27, 2010 10:24 AM

                                              I think it's funny that you assume people are offended by the language. I probably say F as much as this guy, but I find the constant use in his blog off putting. I liked his recipe for cobbler and there's probably other stuff, not saying you can't learn from it. But like other people said, it shows a one trick pony way of expressing himself that gets boring. Just as any other kind of overused gimmick in someone's writing could start to grate, whether swear words were involved or not.

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                                              1. re: Joanie
                                                rworange RE: Joanie Jul 27, 2010 10:53 AM

                                                Pay attention.

                                                In the beginning I thought Chowhound was full of gimmicks. Depite loving the site, I couldn't get over that. Then I started to pay attention.

                                                For all the people who profess that profanity doesn't bother tham and they use it ... eh, I'm not convinced. They just can't see the content through the blue haze.

                                                Though before my time, Lenny Bruce was a favorite of mine. I still have all his albuns. People just couldn't hear his message because of the language ... which is REALLY mild by today's standards. I like Howard Stern.

                                                However, a lot of today's comics I won't listen to because it is profanity for profanity's sake. I don't find the unintelligent and juvenile use of that type of language funny. There has to be some content and message.

                                                It takes skill to use profanity smartly. And ... the big thing is ... many people who really wouldn't be into the whole foodie scene, get some good tips ... thanks to the irreverance and humor.

                                                If it bores you ... is not to your taste ... or is too much for you to handle ... move on. The airwaives and web are nausiatingly filled with Stepford food sites. You will get good food tips there as well using socially approved language.

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                                                1. re: rworange
                                                  cookingasshole RE: rworange Jul 27, 2010 11:21 AM

                                                  I try never to force it. Some posts are devoid of profanity. Some are littered. It just depends on my mood. I just write as if I am at a dingy pub drinking beer with friends...and sometimes bourbon.

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                                                  1. re: cookingasshole
                                                    lynnlato RE: cookingasshole Jul 30, 2010 07:39 PM

                                                    Good food and cussing... throw in some PBR and bacon and that's my kind of party.

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                                                    1. re: lynnlato
                                                      cookingasshole RE: lynnlato Jul 30, 2010 11:17 PM

                                                      PBR is for hipsters!

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                                                      1. re: cookingasshole
                                                        lynnlato RE: cookingasshole Jul 31, 2010 05:05 AM

                                                        I don't really drink the stuff... okay once in a great while, but just to slack jaw my uppity dining companions. I'm a wine girl, but "wine" didn't sound naughty enough with "cussing". LOL :-P

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                                                  2. re: rworange
                                                    Joanie RE: rworange Jul 28, 2010 04:32 AM

                                                    Whatever, you're gonna think what you what to think about me or anyone who disagrees with you on this. My opinion is that using the F bomb over and over makes you/one/him/us sound stupid, including me when I find myself saying it too much. You think it's used smartly, I disagree. And no, I don't have to and won't read his blog, but mostly cuz I don't read that many blogs and don't cook a lot. Altho that fried baloney and cheese sandwich was pretty good last nite.

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                                                    1. re: Joanie
                                                      rworange RE: Joanie Jul 28, 2010 08:33 AM

                                                      I guess when people do their SNL church lady dance over the language in this blog, I wish they would out and out say that profanity upsets them. Instead what we have is dismissing the content because of the style.

                                                      Critisizing the content and the style are two different issues.

                                                      It was stated quite clearly in the OP what the site contained and for those that did not like that type of language ... move on.

                                                      I fail to understand the people who

                                                      1. Obvioudly don't approve of profanity
                                                      2. Click on the site
                                                      3. Then feel they must register their disapproval of the language despite the clear statement in the OP.

                                                      I don't get it. I don''t want to.

                                                      Cookingasshole has stated a number of times he created the site for his own pleasure and to amuse his wife ... and that, IMO, is one terrific guy ... not only does he cook for her, he did this site to give her a laugh.

                                                      A side benefit is that it reaches out to people who probably wouldn't read this type of info anyway ... about good produce, food and cooking.

                                                      He doesn't have ads. He doesn't ask for money.

                                                      If anyone has any issue with profanity, please ... don't click on the site. Your opinion isn't going to be changed. Let those of us who enjoy the site discuss the content rather than the style.

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                                                      1. re: rworange
                                                        cookingasshole RE: rworange Jul 28, 2010 12:29 PM

                                                        Damn rworange, I don't think I have ever heard someone defend my position as well as you (not even myself). You are too awesome.

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                                                        1. re: rworange
                                                          j
                                                          jcattles RE: rworange Jul 28, 2010 02:07 PM

                                                          Well said!

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                                                          1. re: jcattles
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                                                            bob96 RE: jcattles Jul 29, 2010 09:26 AM

                                                            And frankly 'nuff said.

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                                      2. re: bob96
                                        cookingasshole RE: bob96 Jul 26, 2010 07:03 PM

                                        I say "like" all the time!

                                        Conventional food writing bores me to death. I write in a "voice." I didn't write this for everyone and in fact I only started it for one person. I was trying to make my lady laugh at work and let her see what was going to be on the table when she got home.

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                                        1. re: cookingasshole
                                          scoopG RE: cookingasshole Jul 26, 2010 07:41 PM

                                          I think it would all work better on TV with a couple of sidekicks, at least one who would be scantily clad.

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                                        2. re: bob96
                                          cookingasshole RE: bob96 Jul 26, 2010 08:15 PM

                                          Way to pick the offhand "I'm not dead" post! That's a great example.

                                          She is not my co-worker; she is my wife.

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                                  2. cookingasshole RE: rworange Jul 25, 2010 12:02 PM

                                    Hi everyone! I read through every comment and I just wanted to thank you all for your input. I understand where everyone is coming from. I appreciate the constructive criticism and don't entirely disagree with many of the things said. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

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                                    1. re: cookingasshole
                                      j
                                      jeanmarieok RE: cookingasshole Jul 25, 2010 12:12 PM

                                      It's a fun blog - thanks for the laughs. My college age kids love you.

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                                      1. re: jeanmarieok
                                        cookingasshole RE: jeanmarieok Jul 25, 2010 02:40 PM

                                        hehe...somehow that does not surprise me.

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                                    2. operagirl RE: rworange Jul 26, 2010 10:54 AM

                                      The comments section on the Crab and Bacon Bloody Mary post is priceless, namely CA's response to the guy who says he won't be sending any Bloody Mary mix samples over because the post is so rude . . . Thanks for this, rworange!

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                                      1. re: operagirl
                                        cookingasshole RE: operagirl Jul 26, 2010 04:35 PM

                                        haha! I remember that...he was a character.

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                                      2. phee RE: rworange Jul 30, 2010 08:16 AM

                                        This post caught my eye because, of course, of the title, but also because rworange was so helpful when my daughter and I were looking for SF recs last year. That said, the CFA blogspot is a gem! There are a bazillion food blogs out there but how many are actually FUN to read? This one is worth bookmarking (yes, I have) and viewing on a regular basis vs. the ones you come by on happenstance while searching for a recipe. Thanks for the laughs AND the recipes, CA!

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                                        1. re: phee
                                          cookingasshole RE: phee Jul 30, 2010 01:55 PM

                                          Thanks for reading phee! I am glad you like it! There are a lot of negative nellies and Debbie downers around here!

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                                          1. re: cookingasshole
                                            buttertart RE: cookingasshole Jul 30, 2010 02:00 PM

                                            I'm amused by it too - but then I have always had a bad mouth on me - had to tone it down when I went to Berkeley well after the Free Speech movement and upset the locals. Keep up the good work.

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                                            1. re: buttertart
                                              cookingasshole RE: buttertart Jul 30, 2010 03:59 PM

                                              Thanks buttertart! I appreciate it!

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                                        2. jfood RE: rworange Jul 30, 2010 05:08 PM

                                          @cookingasshole

                                          it is hard for jfood to comment about shtick and gimmicks when he has spent the last 4-5 years having his posts reflect a dog writing for his master, and jfood has taken a bunch of heat from many for the third person but still maintains his shtick.

                                          But he read a few pages of your blog and his opinion is that you sorta lose the good stuff in the language. any funniness disappeared quickly and the language took the reader from the gutter into the sewer. Just did not want to go back. it will appeal to some since this seems to be the MO of most new comics thinking that a combination of shock and humor is the be all formula. Jfood prefers IMUS to Stern in the morning so no surprise there.

                                          for jfood, nah, not interested in reading the site anymore but fully supports your right to write it and others, who like it, to read it.

                                          good luck on it but jfood will take his eyeballs to more properly written sites.

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                                          1. re: jfood
                                            cookingasshole RE: jfood Jul 30, 2010 05:40 PM

                                            Cookingasshole thanks jfood for being so honest and cordial. Cookingasshole is most appreciative that you took them time to visit his site. He understands that the language is off-putting but it is the manner in which he speaks and something needs to set you apart from the ocean of stupid food blogs. Cookingasshole thanks you again for your input as it is valuable to him.

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                                          2. s
                                            southie_chick RE: rworange Jul 31, 2010 09:58 AM

                                            As for the language "issue", I don't think people are so much being "Debbie Downers" or prudes - I just think they don't see the point of using it & wish would just get to the point of the recipe instead of using the F-word so much. They like your recipes, & like the fact that they are accurate - which a LOT of websites - including Martha's - aren't. You make the recipes easy enough for anyone to follow, & you make people feel comfortable, like even if they were a total "kitchen idiot", they could actually make on of your recipes. And, that they actually want to & actually try to make your recipes - that's someting a lot of chefs / cookbooks can't even accomplish, so you should be VERY proud.
                                            As you said, you did it just to make your wife happy - MAJOR cudos for that! I'm just glad you were willing to share that gift with us.
                                            I think the people who have "problems" with your website see you as a good cook & writer - they just wish you would use a couple less F-bombs (but they DON'T want you to stop using them completely).
                                            The way I look at this website is that I'm reading a "New Yorkers" website - you write like a LOT of the customers I used to deal with from New York. Being from Boston (as is Joanie), we don't use the "F-bomb" as often, & sometimes we just find it ......... annoying maybe? New Yorkers tend to use it as an adjective (for example, when I would call a New York customer to see where their equipmet was, they would say, "it's in the f***ing back by the f***ing desk, but ya might have to move the f***ing chair to get to it - sorry 'bout dat). The techs would sometime greet their regular clients with a "how the f*** are ya" & the customer woud say "f***ing great!".
                                            No one was upset or offended by using that language - that's their "normal" way of speaking. Try that in Boston (or any other city - other than New York) & it just doesn't "work".
                                            LOVE the website, by the way, but sometimes I'm just not in the "mood" to put up with the "New York" talk-style. I don't find it offensive as much as I think you could "speak" so much better that using the F-bomb so many times some days. You're funny & intelligent , so a lot of us are hoping you could just tone it down just a little some days (but not all the time). So, as cookinga**hole pointed out himself, I don't click on it on the website on those days I'm not in the mood to read that style of writing.
                                            But, on other days, I just click on the website & laugh myself silly & REALLY enjoy - & read 'till my sides hurt from laughing.
                                            Keep up the good work, & thanks for the great tips & laughter!

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                                            1. re: southie_chick
                                              buttertart RE: southie_chick Aug 1, 2010 07:37 AM

                                              You know the Brooklyn alphabet, right? F'n A, F'n B, F'n C...no wonder I loved living there. bt the incorrigible

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                                            2. al b. darned RE: rworange Jul 31, 2010 10:51 AM

                                              Unlike the majority here, in the words of HM QE the First, "We are not amused." I'm not a prude nor am I shockedor offended by the language. I spent nine years in Uncle Sam's Canoe Club, and spend a good portion of my working career in boiler rooms, so its not like I've never heard (or used) that sort of language. I can swear with the best of them.(Just ask DW!)

                                              For me, however, this schtick just gets old very quickly. One poster said, "Please refer me to whatever site it is that is full of razor-sharp irreverence about food. It would be a refreshing read." Me, too, but for me, this ain't it.

                                              Another said, "This site appeals to people who would not be caught dead reading a Martha Stewart recipe." I wouldn't be caught dead seeing, hearing, or otherwise doing anything remotely connected to MS, and it STILL doesn't appeal.

                                              For me, just like Howard Stern, Rush, and all the others who use sensationalism in one form or another in a vain attempt to be entertaining, it just gets old really quick. You can see Larry whack Curly or poke Moe in the eyes just so many times.
                                              .
                                              I'm way past the age of eight, and like fart jokes, this sort of "humor" just doesn't cut it any more.

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                                              1. re: al b. darned
                                                s
                                                smartie RE: al b. darned Aug 1, 2010 07:40 AM

                                                we are not amused is attributed to Queen Victoria!

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                                              2. c oliver RE: rworange Jul 31, 2010 04:31 PM

                                                "The surprising part is this site has really good recipes and cooking instructions...."

                                                Sorry, rwo, I disagee with you. I picked about a dozen recipes at random and didn't think any of them were worth anyone cooking. Well, maybe a ten year old who's never cooked anything before. Nah, not even that. To me the profanity only detracted from something that didn't need anymore detractions. I think it's a pathetic blog and is probably the epitome of just how awful blogs can be. Sorry, ah, but she started it and I'm giving my uncensored but non-profane opinion.

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                                                1. re: c oliver
                                                  jfood RE: c oliver Aug 1, 2010 07:42 AM

                                                  jfood would characterize it as Andrew Dice Clay (1985 version) meets Rachel Ray. And two negatives do not equal a positive.

                                                  If you want to learn basic cooking skills (most on the site were in your 10YO bucket) why would you want to learn how and be chastised simultaneously. Heck, even the lady in his life was beaten up in the salmon steak story.

                                                  But here is where jfood would disagree slightly with you. There is a subculture of society that this type of humor appeals to, whether good bad or otherwise. As jfood has posted often, even if the Ray readers of the world learn something about cooking that is a good thing. Likewise this sub-culture that f-bomb humor (term loosely used) is attractive can learn to cook then great. Eventually they will learn that f-talk is childish and unappealing and move on, but the cooking skills will remain.

                                                  Will you or jfood learn anything about cooking from the site? Probably not. But jfood does not think you and he are the target demographics.

                                                  And yes, this is the darker side of blogging, but free speech allows for both sides of the discussion and you, many other posters above and jfood are firmly camped in the "not for me" camp.

                                                  Jfood may dislike Martha Stewart, but he sure as shootin' can learn from her recipes versus lots of others.

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                                                  1. re: jfood
                                                    cookingasshole RE: jfood Aug 1, 2010 11:24 AM

                                                    I don't pretend to be anything I am not. I only started cooking two years ago. I have no formal culinary training and just screw around in my kitchen. That is why I have mass appeal. Not everyone is a "pro chef" and hangs out on Chowhound all day. This is the real world. In real language.

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                                                    1. re: cookingasshole
                                                      jfood RE: cookingasshole Aug 1, 2010 01:38 PM

                                                      two years in the kitchen and you are at this point is commendable. there are very few on these boards who have culinary training and almost all love to hang out in the kitchen, as you do, and create what they like. In that regard you are smack dab in the middle of almost everyone here at CH. but neither you nor anyone on these boards has mass appeal, they are all just a small micron in the world of bits and bytes. you have decided that you MO is to intertwine the f-bomb and calling people stupid, in recipes to appeal to the demographics that enjoy that approach. That language is NOT the real world. You and jfood will have to agree to disgree on that one.

                                                      jfood supports your right to speak and write in this manner in a free speech context not an acceptability context. And in that right you must also stand ready to allow others, with a different opinion, to have that absolute right as well. Jfood will NEVER move to your side of the fence. You have called people stupid on CFA and noone here has called you that, the major criticisms have been inappropriate and basic. And the first is pretty easy to understand and with two years in the kitchen the latter has some legs as well.

                                                      So jfood recommends that you continue to dabble in the kitchen, learn more techniques and hopefully you will find a way to move past the style that has been criticized here. It is a large, large world out there in culinary-world and what may be acceptable on CFA and the on-line paper that publishes you is not that acceptable to the larger audience.

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                                                    2. re: jfood
                                                      rworange RE: jfood Aug 1, 2010 12:16 PM

                                                      Let me at the very least correct the misrepresentation of the CFA site. Except for the style, the recipes are the same as those on Chow.

                                                      How to Eat an Artichoke
                                                      http://www.chow.com/stories/12115?
                                                      http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

                                                      Farfalle with Mushrooms and Peas Recipe
                                                      http://www.chow.com/recipes/12264-far...

                                                      Fontina and Smoked Salmon Farfalle
                                                      http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

                                                      Absinthe – Lemonade
                                                      http://search.chow.com/search?query=A...
                                                      http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

                                                      I could go on and match 90% of the CFA recipes to Chow recipes. The content is the same. The style is different.

                                                      Rachael Ray uses packaged, boxed, canned convenience items in many of her recipes. The CFA is about cooking from scratch and using often natural and organic ingrediants.

                                                      The comparison to that site is not valid.

                                                      I could say more but I want this post to remain in fairness to the CFA site content wich is nothing like Rachael Ray

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                                                      1. re: rworange
                                                        jfood RE: rworange Aug 1, 2010 01:48 PM

                                                        Got it

                                                        http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.co...

                                                        deep fry a bacon wrapped hot dog, place on a hoagie roll, top with 2 scrambled eggs and cheddar cheese, add mayo. Yup sounds straight out of the French Laundry Cookbook and extremely natural and organic.

                                                        And BTW, that style ain't from NJ. Here is the quintessential description of Jersey hot dogs from the absolute authority.

                                                        http://mouthfulsfood.com/forums/index...

                                                        Hope that helps clear up the confusion.

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                                                        1. re: jfood
                                                          rworange RE: jfood Aug 1, 2010 02:02 PM

                                                          So it is acceptable for Chow to have hot dog recipes, but not CFA
                                                          http://search.chow.com/search?query=&...

                                                          According to Wikipedia, CFA has the correct recipe
                                                          http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Cookbook...

                                                          I don't read mothfulsfood because they are often inaccurate and the posters are really unpleasant.

                                                          I never said it was French Laundry cooking ... which I've been to and is vastly over-rated and over-hyped.

                                                          These are not comments about content. They are strictly about style

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                                                  2. The Chowhound Team RE: rworange Aug 1, 2010 02:49 PM

                                                    We've had to remove a number of angry responses from this thread, and the discussion as a whole is increasingly unfriendly. We're going to lock this topic now.

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