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What are the crazy things you do for a food craving?

Craving pizza the other day, I tried to eat "the point" off a floppy slice of takeout pizza as I was driving on a nearly-deserted neighborhood street. The whole slice had to be rolled up on itself into a gooey, pepperoni-sausage-laden mass. Finally, after two drippy bites, I realized that I was behaving foolishly, and pulled over to eat it.

I confess to having parked myself beside a ginormous tower of shrimp cocktail at a wedding reception.

I've bought a case of Trader Joe's white chocolate peppermint bark bars when I thought they might run out.

I'll stand and eat super hot bacon straight out of the microwave, like an idiot!

I'll load up an already spicy pad kee mao with additional pickled chilles-in-vinegar.


What is (or has been) your crazy, silly, or even dangerous behavior when it comes to satisfying that *craving*?

It might involve traveling long distances or to dicey neighborhoods,
buying "verboten" ingredients or eating that fugu fish,
smuggling in through customs some foreign meat or cheese,
continuing to date someone only because they have access to free unlimited raw oysters at your favorite watering hole (hey, I'm stretching my imagination, here)
.... or..... whatever....

All confessions will be held in the strictest confidence.

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  1. "I've bought a case of Trader Joe's white chocolate peppermint bark bars when I thought they might run out."
    i bought out the last 8 bottles of pomegranate glaze at the local TJ's when they discontinued it. and back when Fage was still made in Greece and they had issues with spoilage & shipping delays, i bought it by the case.

    i've also, on many occasions, decided that i just *had* to have a fork- or spoonful (or three!) of something i just purchased while driving home in the car. unfortunately it's usually on the San Diego freeway while doing 70-80 MPH...a practice that i absolutely do *not* recommend. particularly not at night. the good news is that i've managed to do it thus far without incident. but i think at this point i'm tempting fate...and i've ended up with food either in my lap or on the seat of the car on more than one occasion, which is a nightmare for a neat freak like me :)

    5 Replies
    1. re: goodhealthgourmet

      speaking of "buying out" stuff -- over Christmas in florida, i bought out one local publix's 18 large cans of muir glen organic tomatoes and tomato puree -- $1.00 each on "clearance" (i guess they were discontinuing that product)!

      my mom was constantly looking at them, going, where am i going to put all these cans?

      the new year's day chili was a good start to using them.

      1. re: goodhealthgourmet

        when i was driving and dining, i was only going about 20 mph. i cannot imagine going 70 on a freeway and eating. girlfriend, that IS dangerous!

        ps, you're moved out there for good? are you continuing to pursue your dream there? hope so!

        1. re: alkapal

          hey, i never said it was a *good* idea :) i've always been a bit of a speed demon and daredevil. i have serious skills behind the wheel, and i'm afraid that sometimes makes me a bit too confident & aggressive on the road. i'm workin' on it ;)

          and yes, i am here for good, and *hoping* to realize my dream...but in the meantime, doing what i need to do to make it through these tough times. if only it was still the glory days of venture capital overload!!

          1. re: alkapal

            alka, just had to tell you that thanks to this thread, i thought of you as i was getting on the freeway yesterday with a container in my lap and a fork at the ready, and decided to wait until i got home!!

            i had a vision of a mini alka angel perched on my shoulder telling me not to do it :)

            1. re: goodhealthgourmet

              you are sweet, ghg! thanks for that.

              did the food suffer for the distance? wasn't your dining experience even nicer because of your heightened desire? wasn't it nice to actually sit at a table and eat? <or did you wolf it down even faster, as probably i would've done?>

              a new avatar? http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumb...
              (for some reason, i thought of the theme song from "walker, texas ranger": "the eyes of the ranger are upon you." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-GCJH...

        2. I'v gotten in my car LATE at night to drive 2 towns away to a 24 hour store to satisfy my ice cream craving. ;/

          1. I did date a guy once with a very sketchy background who was a cook and gave me my first taste of lobster. Now with an SO from Maine, we'll drive an hour to buy it live and stop at Trader Joe's on the way home. Not so much dangerous, as silly, but cheaper than having it shipped!

            1. Years ago on my way to the Poas volcano in Costa Rica I happened upon a resto and a bowl of black bean soup with a poached egg that was cosmic. The sweet memory ricocheted in my cranium for a couple years. My next trip to CR was designed around another bowl of soup.

              1. Although my time as a consultant is limited and expensive, I sometimes go to places like Laos or Mexico for free just to eat.

                1. Hmmmm. My silly or obsessed (you decide) behavior goes all the way back to college, where I would drive across the river just to get a Dairy Queen sundae (hot fudge AND butterscotch or caramel with whipped cream) for lunch, or drive to a neighborhood where I wasn't particularly welcome just to grab a Jamaican beef patty.

                  Before Ting (Jamaican grapefruit soda) was readily available in my local supermarket, I used to drive more than a half hour just to pick up a case.

                  When I had copious amounts paid time off , I used to get free oil changes from the dealership where I bought my car, but that was 45 minutes away. So I'd take the day off and use the opportunity to go to my favorite Thai food place (located in the same town as the dealership) for lunch.

                  I once missed a cross-country flight back home because my friend encouraged me to go out for Chinese so I wouldn't have to eat crappy airline food. I had to sit in the airport by myself (my friend had already dropped me off), wait 8 hours for the next flight, then fly the long way home (Oakland to LAX, LAX to DC, DC to Hartford, CT--the last leg by puddle-jumper--and I arrived THE NEXT DAY). I admit this is not even silly, but downright stupid. ;) I'm older and wiser now.

                  2 Replies
                  1. re: kattyeyes

                    I've received many odd looks parking in front of Scott's Jamaican Bakery in the North End of Hartford. I don't care though, their chicken patties and coco bread are to die for...maybe a little overstated, but you know what I mean Katty :)

                    1. re: krisrishere

                      You nailed it, Kris--that's too funny! People in line there would let the door slam on me instead of holding it, but I'd continue to go back.

                      Also, I recently had an interview in a town where my old boss used to bring in THE BEST donuts (Luke's in Avon). I already had it planned and mapped out, so my first stop afterwards was to get a chocolate-chocolate frosted before I headed back to work.

                  2. I started "eating and driving" in the 1980s when I worked and lived in NYC but had a country house an hour and a half away (Ridgefield, CT). I'd stop off at Patsy's in East Harlem and buy a few quarts of pasta e fagiole -- and a pint, as well. I'd drink the pint like a cup of coffee while driving 70 on the Hutchinson River Parkway northbound. And that's when the Hutch was narrower and far more pot-hole-laden. Only once did someone stop in front of me so short that I had to veer off the road. I hit a dinky roadsign, but there was soup all over the dash and the windshield, soup all over the back seat (the other containers smashed against the seat-back). That car smelled like soup for two months. I had it detailed twice before it didn't smell like an Italian restaurant.

                    Now a full-time Connecticut resident, I'm guilty of wielding a breakfast sandwich in one hand and steering and holding coffee with the other. Isn't that why we have hands-free phone in the car? Per alkapal's warning: I do this on I-84, Route 9, I-91 and I-684 in NY State.

                    Other reckless behavior:

                    - Me + fryalator = danger! danger! (don't even ask)
                    - I incinerated the foam windscreen of a very expensive studio microphone doing flambe on public television.
                    - Risking life and limb at 4:00 in the morning at the Bronx Terminal Market ("Hunt's Point") buying wholesale produce. (Imagine seeing six transvestite hookers warming their hands around a burning 50-gallon drum -- and knowing that at least two of them are packing a gun)

                    7 Replies
                    1. re: shaogo

                      hey shaogo, you have a very interesting life, from the "swinging" restaurant parties to the gun-totin' tranny hookers. on-topic: ALL INVOLVE YOUR PURSUIT OF CHOW!

                      1. re: alkapal

                        I must disclose that my life these days is far, far less crazy -- and far less interesting -- than it was 20 years ago.

                      2. re: shaogo

                        i just had to say thanks for the giggle. not to laugh at another CHer's expense, but the story about the soup is a riot.

                        it reminds me of the time back in high school when i had a case of bottled beer in the trunk of the car - it was *intended* for a party. but of course i drove like a maniac and made several stops to pick up friends, and when we arrived and i opened the trunk...we discovered that ALL the bottles had exploded.

                        i was 17 - not legal, still living at home, and driving mom's car. try explaining THAT one to the 'rents. the stench lasted for months.

                        1. re: shaogo

                          Shaogo, I'd like to trade some youth-fueled crazoid stories some time, I have no doubt that there are several of us.

                          1. re: EWSflash


                            I have a couple of friends that I go out and get into trouble with about twice a year. We look at each other like a bunch of kids and mention something that's just barely appropriate and we pause for just a moment, then shake heads in agreement, grunting "yeah, yeah, yeah."

                          2. re: shaogo

                            maybe they were just happy to see you '-)

                          3. I was fired from the only store in town that sells this amazing ginger ale that is so hot it makes you cough if you don't drink it at exactly the right speed (too slow-cough, too fast-cough, it's also great with scotch). The reasons behind my termination are suspect, to say the least, and I have refused to set foot in that store since. So when I get the itch for this stuff I have to send a liaison (my SO or a sibling) into the store under cover to buy me a couple of 6-packs.
                            Stupid principles.

                            1. I've purchased several cases of chocolate and cinnamon tortilla chips thru the co. online store because all of the grocery chains only carried "the other" flavors.
                              I bought a case of pumpkin eggnog in order to freeze it and use it all year long.
                              I've put the phone on hold for over an hour to enjoy the most magnificent piece of chocolate.
                              I've opened a bank account JUST for my online food purchases.
                              I've camped out in market parking lots an hour before opening in order to score certain foods
                              I've volunteered to pick produce just to taste it
                              I've volunteered at wineries just to score a bottle

                              I know, I know..

                              2 Replies
                              1. re: HillJ

                                You have extra medals dangling from your chow badge, HillJ! ;) I remember your eggnog score, too. Cheers!

                                1. re: kattyeyes

                                  LOL, kattyeyes. It's shameful bliss..but the girl can't help it.

                              2. My husband and I miss the food of our homestate, Connecticut, tremendously. Now, instead of planning our trip home around our family, we plan it around places we want to eat! It's become a tradition to stop for a Jamaican beef patty before we see any family - the 9 hour driving is exhausting, we need a pick-me-up. From that point on we eat at all of our favorite haunts. We eat like we're never going to see food again - I'm talking I have to unbutton my pants to fit more in, eating :) I've even smuggled enough bread, pasta and coffee syrup back to Virginia with me to last until my next trip up to CT.

                                I know it's bad, and fattening, but I love it.

                                1 Reply
                                1. re: krisrishere

                                  My BF and I do the same thing. Unfortunately we have cut back some because family didn't quite understand why we would prefer to eat pizza, hot dogs, Korean fried chicken, etc. instead of a home cooked meal. Feelings started getting hurt. But I do like your idea of stopping before (or after) seeing family.

                                2. I've smuggled illegal cheese and wine into the country

                                  I've (regrettably) ordered an exceedingly rare burger at a truck stop, for I had such a craving for raw meat. Learned my lesson. Very rare ground meats should only be consumed if you made it yourself!

                                  I've eaten things that were far far too hot for consumption, just because I couldn't wait for that first taste.

                                  1. We were returning from a vacation in Belize with a plane-change in Miami (Belize-Miami-Montreal). It was a 90 minute layover, so I rushed to the taxi stand with wife in tow.
                                    "Whattya doing?" she's asking the whole way.
                                    "Joooes Stooooone Craaaabs!" was all I could say.
                                    "No way - we'll miss our plane!"
                                    After talking logistics with a prospective cabbie (1/2 hour there, 6 minutes to get seated, 4 minutes to pay the bill, 3 minutes to get outta the parking lot, 1/2 hour back to the airport), we figured it left 17 minutes to eat and board our flight home...not probable.
                                    "Where we going now?"
                                    "To the American Airlines counter."
                                    "What for?"
                                    "To re-schedule our flight for tomorrow so we can rent a car and a room so we can go to Joes Stone Crab!"
                                    Well we ate crab (actually I did, the wife doesn't care too much for seafood...)
                                    Added about 15% to the cost of our vacation, but I got crab.

                                    1. Well, I was on call two weeks ago and got called in at about 1am, passed a circle k that was open so I went in and got, on a whim, a two pack of Twinkies and an overly large Starbucks doubleshot.. I thought that being out and about at a time that was totally foreign to me for so many reasons that it fit into the oddball craving category

                                      1 Reply
                                      1. re: EWSflash

                                        Drakes' Yodels do it for me.

                                        I eat 'em in the car 'cause I'm too ashamed to let anyone see me eating them.

                                        Snow-balls, too. I think they're Hostess.

                                        And no, when I'm in this mood no bakery, no patissiere's expert creations, can steer me away from my "junk food jones."

                                      2. Fried oysters almost anywhere. Hopefully this weekend we'll head to Lenny's in Indian Neck, Branford. Last week I got some absolutely excellent gems at Salmon Run Fishhouse in Lee, MA. The most disappointing, ironically, lately were at Max Oyster House in WHtfd where they were tiny and so overcooked that they were tough and chewy to the point that they stuck in my teeth.