PB & J dilemma - Please weigh in!

[carminabee]

This afternoon I went to grab the peanut butter to make my son a sandwich and found a glob of strawberry jam in the jar from my otherwise mostly perfect husband's late night foray into the kitchen. I have also found peanut butter in the jam on occasion. This wigs me out and he is completely nonplussed about why it bothers me. We have decided to take it here and see which one of us is in the majority. So please, chowhounds, tell us what you think!

[chow_fun]

As a guy, I support your husband on this one. The "cross-contamination" is from a clean source. It's no big.

The same goes for mayo and mustard.

What would wig me out is seeing fingerprints or someone dragging their finger through the PB.

[PotatoHouse]

"YOU got peanut butter on my chocolate!"

YOU got chocolate in my peanut butter!"

[HillJ]

And the perfect summer concoction was born.
My kids would trowel out a pb tunnel in a jar and pour Hershey's chocolate syrup down the pipeline....bring it to summer camp and turn a hot day into a Reese jar day.

[mattstolz]

i think the most obvious and best solution to this problem has been overlooked in the thread thus far:

why is everyone ruining their peanut butter sandwiches by adding anything to them besides MORE PEANUT BUTTER?

this way, if you get peanut butter in your peanut butter, nbd.

problem solved.

[HillJ]

ah but the OP addresses a PB & J dilemma...that's presented the challenge for all man and woman kind. A PB sandwich is another 'matter.

[fredrva]

I say just scoop around the jelly. We have mustard in our mayonnaise sometimes.

[jamesmasonlv]

You know, this sometimes happens to me, and I can't abide it. If I get mayo in the mustard, or mustard in the mayo, I HAVE to remove it (with a clean spoon, mind you), and wash the spoon immediately (actually, I usually wash it and THEN put it in with the dirty implements to be washed). Until tonight, I didn't realize how scary-OCD this is. Same with crumbs in the butter (Ewwwwww!), or jelly in the PB (Oh, Gross!). So, I guess I'm not only a neurotic foodie-guy, but also pretty OCD.

[Firegoat]

It never used to bother me.... toast bits in the butter, pb in the jam.... til my (now adult) sister went on a rant about it one day. Since then I use a knife for the PB, a spoon for the Jelly..... or better yet, a squeeze bottle of jelly and the problem is completely solved.

[chowser]

Imagine the marriages that could have been saved had they only used squeeze bottles.;-)

[mattstolz]

you mean like these?

http://www.ehomedelivery.com/shop/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/5/1/5150005711.jpg

http://www.taquitos.net/im/sn/Skippy-...

of course, if you make it yourself, you can always store it in squeeze bottles!

[chowser]

Like those--aka marriage saver's.:-) I read about some guy who created slices of pb, like slices of American cheese. When asked how hard was it ti spread pb, he replied, how hard is it to slice cheese? I've never seen the product on the shelf but maybe it was preempted by uncrustables.

[mattstolz]

I saw Wylie Dufrense do this in the Harvard "Science and Cooking" lecture series podcast. right after he made shrimp noodles. haha

[goodhealthgourmet]

http://www.pbslices.com/

[ChrisOC]

My situation is a little more complicated. I put butter on my PB&J sandwiches. To me, the proper way to prepare a PB&J is to butter one slice of white bread, then spread the PB on top of the butter, then the jelly atop the PB. Top with a plain slice of bread. DO NOT get butter in the PB or PB in the Jelly!

[mattstolz]

why in the name of all that is good and peanut buttery would you do that??

[ChrisOC]

It adds an extra dimension of flavor. I put butter on almost all my sandwiches including liverwurst.

[mattstolz]

in most cases i would say im all for the butter being added to almost anything. but Peanut Butter is one of those few and far between sacred foods that shouldnt be messed with for me. haha

[mattstolz]

PB always goes on first, on both pieces of bread! this is the correct procedure for making the sandwich, and it keeps the PB from being diluted or otherwise tainted in the jar by the jelly.

if the jelly happens to get some PB in it, on the other hand, it will only make the jelly that much better.

[Harters]

Ahha. This is similar to the coffee in the sugar jar scenario which, I am regularly reminded, should be a flogging offence.

Apparently it is OK if a speck of sugar appears in the coffee jar. But it is not OK if there is a speck of coffee in the sugar jar. I am informed that this is because the sugar is also added to tea, and a speck of coffee would totally ruin the mug of tea.

Personally I don't get it. So, on not only a practical level, but also as a act of international male solidarity, I am with the OP's husband.

Sandwich eaters of the world unite. You have nothing to lose but your crusts.

[Olliegator]

I hate jelly/jam. I'd be pissed. Personally, I don't care if my husband gets peanut butter in the jelly, since I don't eat it. But if I'm making the sandwich for him, I use two knives. Also, I like mixing some maple syrup in with my peanut butter and whipping it together for my sandwiches.

[goodhealthgourmet]

i can't stand it when someone "yucks" a jar or container of anything - it's the OCD clean freak in me. having lived alone for the past 17 years or so i haven't had to deal with it in my own kitchen, but staying with family is another story because they all cross-contaminate everything. it drives me nuts. jam in the PB & vice versa; butter in the jam jar (Mom likes butter *and* jam on her toast); and crumbs in EVERYTHING. i keep separate products for myself now anyway because of my gluten issues. however, sis & i have been staying with Mom since Dad passed away, and just this week i discovered crumbs in my dedicated GF butter because sis had been swiping pieces of bagel directly into it, and mayo in my jar of Dijon because Mom had spread mayo on her sandwich and then dunked the knife into the mustard. aaaand off to the store i went to replace them.

[chowser]

My friend's father had the "one pass" rule for peanut butter--if you didn't get enough on the first scoop w/ the knife, you had to get another knife. It's like he needed sterile peanut butter, but it prevents bread crumbs from getting into the pb, I guess if you're GF.

BTW, I haven't seen you around in a while and wondered if you'd disappeared or if I'd just missed you. Either way, good to see you post!

[goodhealthgourmet]

aw, thanks chowser. i was MIA for a few months due to a family crisis, but it's time for me to rejoin society...and the welcome i'm receiving from my fellow Hounds has been truly heartwarming.

your friend's father would have been welcome to share my PB anytime as long as he didn't leave huge divots behind! ;)

[HillJ]

good to see you ghg. welcome home :)

eta: we've been knocking out grilled PB and homemade fluff sandwiches for weeks!

[Miss Needle]

Ditto to what chowser and HillJ said. I've missed you.

[goodhealthgourmet]

thanks ladies - great to "see" you both as well :)

@J, any banana and/or bacon on those sandwiches?

[HillJ]

Nope. I don't care for either on a PB sandwich but for some really odd reason homemade fluff just makes me happy....and grilled even happier.

[chowser]

Home made fluff? Can you share how you do it? I'm craving grilled pb sandwiches for dinner now.

[HillJ]

http://whatscookingamerica.net/Candy/MarshmallowFluff.htm

chowser, this makes alot of fluff (just an fyi beforehand). If you have no issue with egg whites or corn syrup this recipe works. Afterall, fluff isn't exactly health food fare..but every once and again this just hits all the notes for me and grilled is just so good. But, if you want to give the kinder, gentler fluff a go, this recipe also works just don't make individual marshmallows from the batter:

http://www.visionsofsugarplum.com/200...

eta: another tip on how I do this sandwich. I don't pan toast it in butter, I spread a thin layer of PB in the pan instead and toast both sides in PB.

[chowser]

Thanks. I don't like most marshmallows normally but there's something about home made ones that are totally different.

Interesting on the pb. So you just use a piece of bread, melt pb in the pan and toast it? Do you eat w/ fork and knife? It sounds good.

[HillJ]

My method sorta goes like this. Square pan on low heat, heated well and then a tsp. of PB on the surface to melt. Prepare sandwich. Yesterday it was soft sourdough bread, spread w/Jif PB and the homemade fluff. Set sandwich down on pan toast each side. Slice & enjoy. No fork/knife required.

[chowser]

Sorry to hear that. Hope your being here means things have settled down some. It's good to have you back!

[traveleryvette]

I see on the grocery shelves they sell the peanut and jelly in the same jar. It looks not very appetizing. The jelly is in stripes in the jar. Try buying that and put in the pantry. Hubby will get the idea. ahah

[guilty]

I assume you mean this stuff:

http://www.smuckers.com/products/cate...

I had that a few times a long time ago. Like, 25 years ago. I'd imagine it tastes different now, but I remember there being a strange but not entirely unpleasant taste.

In any case, it should satisfy those who don't want to bother using a different utensil for pb and j. If they're not terribly picky.

[Soop]

I have a similar thing, crumbs in the butter, butter in marmite... it just weirds me out.

However I've only just recently stopped removing the rough bit at the top of any tomato (even cherry) and am trying to stop peeling potatoes until they are "perfect"

[jnk]

This was my wife's answer to the problem. It was a "gift" over the holidays. Hope this helps you all (by the way. there's no way to use this w/o getting your hands messy!)

http://www.amazon.com/Cuisipro-Peanut...

[mountaincachers]

Hilarious. I guess it's a more common issue than I previously realized.

[maxie]

In our house the problem isn't cross-contamination, it is keeping the PB even as the jar is emptied. There shall be no stray peanut butter on the walls of the jar. There will be no divots or waves in the surface. There will be no knife swipes on the lip of the jar. Everything must remain orderly and clean. Ha! That one took years of training... and I'm still not doing it right.

[mountaincachers]

Are you kidding? Is this indicative of the order in the rest of your life or simply unique to peanut butter? This may warrant counseling. :-)

[maxie]

Just peanut butter, no counseling required.

[jfood]

jfood's gotta ask. does this also go to ice cream in 3/4G cartons and mayo?

You opened a can of worms, you gotta give us some more insight.

[maxie]

No on mayo, but yes on pints of ice cream, though I usually have my own flavor that I can abuse as I please.

[jfood]

so you married into this...wow.

[maxie]

Yes, but on the scale of odd behaviors to put up with, this seems very minor. Better than leaving half eaten spoons of PB around the house, I believe. Let him keep a clean PB jar and ice cream container if it keeps him happy. It's not causing me any great hardship, so it is a very small price to pay.

[mountaincachers]

I'm just amazed. I don't think I could avoid the divets or pb on the jar even if I tried. I would love to see how you do this.

[mountaincachers]

P.S. This reminded me that when I was a kid, I loved to be the first one to use a jar of peanut butter. I loved the perfectly smooth surface, so I understand why your SO would want it this way. I'm just baffled by how it's accomplished.

[jfood]

What's are "half eaten spoons of PB"? That gives jfood more concern. How the heck does he not finish it. :-))

[maxie]

The half eaten spoons of PB are referenced in a reply above -- they are not in my house. No PB is wasted here. I'm just saying.... I would prefer this particular peculiarity over that. Regarding how it's done: you need to cultivate good implement skills. I can ice a cake so that it is totally even and flat. It's the same thing, just applied slightly differently. You just need to go a little OCD.

[jfood]

If jfood ever found half eaten spoons of PB in cas jfood, there'd be lots of 'splainin' to do.

[goodhealthgourmet]

im with maxie. i allow some leeway for runnier things like Grey Poupon or goat's milk yogurt, but with everything else - nut butters, mayo, cream cheese, fruit butter or preserves, and even ricotta, cottage cheese & large tubs of Greek yogurt - i maintain a flat/smooth surface. it's all in the technique ;)

seeing the divots my Mom & sister leave in everything hurts my eyes...and i won't even start on the tunnels they create in ice cream containers when they dig out all the "good stuff."

[guilty]

This absolutely blows my mind. Should I ever by any misfortune live with someone again, if they complain about me I will show them posts from people who insist that the surface inside open jars of nut butter (or whatever) be smooth, and I shall be vindicated.

[goodhealthgourmet]

ah, but you'll notice i didn't say i expect *others* to keep the surface smooth - i know that's too much to ask. i just expect them to stay out of my jar (which they have to do to avoid cross-contamination anyway), and then i can maintain it myself.

but yes, feel free to use any of my ridiculous neuroses - and i have many - to illustrate to someone why you're not so bad after all ;)

[guilty]

The gluten stuff I understand; I've had the same contamination issues with roommates. It's just never crossed my mind to pay any attention to the surface of something inside a container, as long as it's not moldy or just empty. Unless it's someone digging chocolate chunks out of ice cream--though usually I'm the one doing that . . . But thanks for the permission to use you as example of how I could be worse :)

[goodhealthgourmet]

It's just never crossed my mind to pay any attention to the surface of something inside a container, as long as it's not moldy or just empty
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
that's because you're not a head case like i am ;)

[mattstolz]

my dad is THE WORST about this! and it drives me nuts (pun intended?)!!!! i like to open the nut butter jar to a controlled surface to allow for easier scooping... i swear every time he opens the jar he takes the knife, sticks it in the middle, digs all the way to the bottom, swirls it once or twice, takes some out, sticks it back in randomly, then repeats until the grand canyon is in my until-then smooth pb

[AussieBeth]

I too have this issue. My other half, (the one that puts the crumbs back in the butter tub!!) also requires the same sort of even-ness in the very same tub of butter than is contaminated with his crumbs!!! And God help me if I dig into the icecream tub!! Oh well, we all have our "things", and I've learnt to pick my battles...and this is not a big deal at the end of the day, even though I find it mind-boggling!!! ;)

[Missy2U]

So, since my husband makes his PB&J on toast, that leaves my household open to not only PB in the J and J in the PB, but TOAST CRUMBS IN BOTH!

I will be calling a counselor tonight.

[guilty]

I say it depends on how often you use both. If the jars are gone in a week, then it's not really a problem. If they sit around much longer than that--then cross-contamination would probably bug me.

Though it also depends on what each are used for--if I often use pb to make a peanut sauce for noodles, then jelly in the jar would tick me off.

But I use a spoon for jelly and a knife for nut butters.

[RGC1982]

I say it is okay to have a small fit over this a few times until the concept of using two different knives is engrained into his head. Yuck. PB in the J jar and vice versa? That is nearly as bad as finding bread crumbs on the stick of butter in the fridge!!!

Seriously, if it really bothers one spouse, it would be nice for the other spouse to accommodate. My thing, for example, is to have serving utensils for all dishes served family style. I will still scold DH if he decides it is okay to use his own fork to get a second helping. I figure that after 28 years, it is my job to carry on where his mother left off :) it is also my right.

[Emme]

the bread crumbs / butter analogy is so right on.

[CrazyOne]

Nix the jelly. Dilemma solved. Peanut butter deserves to stand alone! ;-)

[cycloneillini]

There are not very many cross contamination issues that gross me out, but I would definitely have to have my own jar of PB, because jelly is one of the few foods I just cannot eat. The thought of eating a PB and J sandwich just about turns my stomach. My PB must be unmarred by any form of J.

[just_M]

We had this problem early on (married 18+) I like a PB&J but I also use our many jams for other things too and I do love a straight spoonful of Jif. At first I offered him Gobber but the ratio was off and smeared wrong. He now uses two utensils usually a butter knife for the PB and a fork for the jam as it scoops, smashes and smears better.

[jfood]

Major curveball thrown aty jfood last night at dinner with friends. The subject came up and jfood asked the husband and he was definitely a PB first, his wife and mrs jfood were jelly first.

Then the curveball...the husband places the jelly on top of the PB, not the other slice of bread. OMG

1 - There were two people on PB first, two for jelly first
2 - There were two people with both on a single slice and the top with a naked slice; the other two were PB on one slice and jelly on the other and then flop together

Who'da thunk this was so hard? :-))

[mountaincachers]

This is why I would be more nervous about fixing someone a pb&j than an elaborate meal. Though, for the record, my son says that I fix the BEST. :-)

[jfood]

and that is all that matters

[iluvtennis]

Making the pb & J discussion even more complex, i prefer to mix the two together, and then apply to a slice of bread. As far as getting the pb and j out of their containers, i use a separate knife. I guess i need to stop using so many utensils for such a simple sandwich.

[carminabee]

Thank you, thank you, for all your replies. My husband and I have loved reading the responses. We agree with most of you in that this is, indeed, a small thing. Smaller still, when you take into account that I don't really use either the PB or J for myself, thereby negating the need for our separate jars (great idea, though, thanks!) I think I misrepresented myself a bit, because rather than being wigged out, I guess I should have more accurately said I was just a bit puzzled by this behavior and wanted to see how common or uncommon it was.

Lastly, he is not now, nor has he ever been banished to the couch, as I said, he is otherwise mostly perfect.

[Kajikit]

It wouldn't bother me... but I'm far from perfect in the food contamination department! It's not a big deal to me unless it's something that's going to be perishable - ie. if you are using sour cream and salsa, do NOT leave sour cream deposits in the salsa jar to go off! Ick! But Jam/Jelly/PB/honey all never go off so that doesn't worry me.
This thread has given me a hankering for a PB&J... (and I don't have to share with anyone - DH won't eat it!)

[chowser]

This whole thread reminds me of a friend of mine whose father would not let her double dip the knife in either the pb or the j. If you don't get enough with the first scoop, you need a new knife. A sandwich could take several knives. Her mom did the dishes. Her parents are now divorced (I'm guessing not pb and j related).

[Scrapironchef]

I don't know, that behavior might have been enough for me....

[Kajikit]

Excess cutlery/plate consumption drives me up the wall! Unless it's been directly in your mouth or is covered in messy food residue, it is perfectly acceptable to use it again! (I hate washing dishes so the fewer there are the better!)

[chowser]

LOL true. Although, if he's that picky about pb (he even had a term for it "one pass peanut butter"), I can only imagine what the rest of life must have been like.

[jsaimd]

We have a no double dip rule because half of us have Celiac and the other half don't and i refuse to keep 2 peanut butters open. But it stays nice and clean - no jelly, honey or breadcrumbs in it. Of course, nobody besides our family can touch our peanut butter and I have to train babysitters on how to deal with the half gluten-free family without cross-contamination (we also have a GF rack in the toaster oven etc. etc.)

[Ima Wurdibitsch]

I keep my peanut butter in the cabinet and my jelly/jam in the refrigerator. Peanut butter on the bread first, then jelly so that if there's any cross-contamination, at least it will be in the refrigerator. I would be very skeeved to find jelly in my cabinet-housed peanut butter.

[sueatmo]

I vote with those who say, get your own and keep them separate. No need to for drama over what everyone knows is a minor problem. I think it would fun for you two to choose your very own sort of peanut butter and jam, and then you could do whatever you want with it.

[beevod]

Is your husband now sleeping on the couch?

[HillJ]

Hilarious.

[contemporaryscarlett]

Perhaps he just needs training on how to make a clean PB&J. You put the jam on first, then wipe any residual jam off onto the second clean slice of bread before dipping the knife in the peanut butter. No waste, no cross globbing.

Of course, to clean the knife of the peanut butter, I'll confess that I either lick it myself or let the dogs lick it clean before putting in the dishwashwer. I know some of you will find that disgusting, but wiping it off with a paper towel skeeves me out.

[mountaincachers]

In my house, contemporaryscarlett's method is not the correct way to make a PB and J. I always put the pb on first, but put a thin layer on both pieces of bread. Jelly goes on next. The pb provides a barrier to prevent the horrors of the jelly soaking into the bread when packed in a lunch box. Incidentally, though I consider myself a relatively good cook, I am reluctant to make pb&j for anyone other than myself and my son. Too many variations on proportions/amount of pb&j used. Likewise, I always prefer to make my own.

[Cookiefiend]

Oh mountaincachers!
The HORROR of the jelly (or jam) soaking into the bread! Ack!

Always peanut butter on both pieces for me too - though I probably put way more peanut butter on than most would recommend and same with the jelly.
I also prefer to make my own.

And to the OP - I don't like to find jam in my peanut butter or peanut butter in my jam - though I don't generally throw a fit - I just fish it out. I wipe the peanut butter knife on the edge of the bread and then go for the jam, so I may be occasionally part of the contamination problem. Evidently Mr CF doesn't have too much of an issue with it either - I'm still around after 30 years! ;-)

[Glencora]

I never thought about the dreaded jelly-soak, since I don't eat the sandwiches I make, but I tried it your way yesterday and was told it's an improvement. So -- thanks!

As to the OP, yeah, there's jelly in my peanut butter, but I have SO many other battles to fight. (I share a tiny bathroom with two males, enough said.)

[chowser]

Jelly soak makes me wonder if the ideal sandwich isn't pb and j but pb and j and pb. I'm surprised no manufacturer has created a peanut butter slice filled with jelly, like individually wrapped sliced cheese. There would be no knife problems then, or jelly soaked bread. Think of the marriages it could save!

[Scrapironchef]

Uncrustables might save this marriage?

[mountaincachers]

LOL!

[chowser]

If only all marital problems were this easy to solve!

[jamesmasonlv]

They did make a PBnJ "slice" that was just LIKE individually wrapped cheese. It didn't even last a year. I still don't know how that product that swirled PB & Grape Jelly has survived, but enough people like it that it now comes in grape AND strawberry jam. THAT grosses ME out.

[goodhealthgourmet]

i posted a link to the product yesterday, no idea why it was removed:
http://www.pbslices.com/

[HillJ]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4avzeab94jw&feature=related

just for giggles

http://cowboyjournal.okstate.edu/cjspring00/cjp24.html

PB slices

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3289/is_6_170/ai_76334824/

and this product tried sliced PB & jelly http://www.flickr.com/photos/sa_steve...

[Alicat24]

Gack!!! PB&J with crystalized jelly soaked into the bread and warm from sitting in a locker was the food bane of my school lunches.

Imagine my surprise and regret when I met DH in our senior year and learned he'd never experienced this travesty. HIS mothers simple but wonderous method was to spread BUTTER on the jelly slice of bread, the perfect barrier from jelly soak. Oh, all those PB&J's I could've enjoyed instead of reviling. 20+ yrs. on and I still love a PB&J&B, although MC's method of spreading the PB on both slices would be just as effective, I have to have the flavor of the butter on mine now.

As to the OP, I have to use a paper towel or napkin (which I then use while eating) to avoid cross contamination with three componants . Butter on first slice, wipe knife on other slice then the PB on second slice. Wipe the knife on the napkin to avoid getting any in the jam (mine goes on the PB). I try to seal each edge together to avoid jelly leakage but it usually doesn't work due to the quantity of it I put on. :)

[jfood]

PB ALWAYS ON FIRST...how do you know what flavor jelly to put on the bread until you smell the peanut butter

the world can sometimes get so out of sync. :-))

[Caitlin McGrath]

And how can you know how much jelly to use until you see exactly how thick the layer of peanut butter is?

I used to swipe the PB knife on the second piece of bread to "clean" it, but nowadays my PB&Js are almost always open faced, so that's not an option. Scraping hard on the lip of the PB jar does the job for me (may depend in part on what kind of PB you use; I use natural, which seems a bit less sticky than the hydrogenated Skippy style).

[Sinicle]

First, as to the the larger question. Cross contamination is a capital offense.
Secondly, the peanut butter must be spread on one piece of bread and the jelly on the other.
These are the eternal truths.

[Janet from Richmond]

Both my husband and daughter are terrible food contaminators when it comes to pb & j, bread crumbs & butter, salsa and sour cream, etc. When our daughter was living at home, I bought myself a second jar of pb & one of jam and hid them from her. They were my private stock. I have eeeewwww issues with contamination such as that.

[swamp]

Janet, I can relate. I can't stand it when someone contaminates salsa etc. I have friends that dip in the green and then the red. Once they are done it looks nasty and I just can't eat it. Mix it up on your plate but not in the communal bowls. Likewise jelly should not end up in the peanut butter jar.

[Janet from Richmond]

When we have tacos, quesadillas, etc. I put salsa, sour cream and guacamole each in a separate bowl, each with their own spoon & still there this cross contamination....which is why I don't serve salsa and sour cream in the containers from the store. I REALLY grosses me out.

[chowser]

Maybe you could just do a his and her jars of both?

[HillJ]

I agree w/chowser. Buy his and hers.
I like the old fashioned PB&J; dh likes special peanut butters and marmalade
We do have his & hers jars...come to think of it

[elfcook]

2 issues here - Does it really matter if there is pb in the j or vice versa? Empirically, not really. Does it matter that it matters to you & he does not care? Yep. That said, after years of marriage to a guy who scoops pb on a spoon & eats it multiple times a day, with multiple spoons that do not always make it to the sink, is it a deal breaker? Probably not. If it bothers you, he can wipe the knife with a paper towel before using the second jar - that would be the "perfect husband" thing to do! (Notice my imperfect husband leaves fewer pb spoons around, but still misses now and then. Ah, love.)

[jfood]

>50 YO, 30 years married. 1,000s of PBJs. That's jfood's cv on this.

He always makes his pbj with pb first then jelly. He would always scrape the PB on the jar of before delving into the jar of jelly, but there were always times when the PB would somehow get and remain in the jelly jar. His first solution was to stare into the jelly jar and "scrape" the PB from the jar and add carefully to the sandwich. then he had an epiphany. He bought a second jar of jelly for himself and the PBJs. He is still careful but the only person who can yell at him is the mirror and he feels comfortable in that.

[westsidegal]

imho,
i see nothing wrong with having bits of jam/pb find their way into the 'wrong' jar.
that said
if it really bothers you so much, just have two, clearly labeled jars of peanut butter going at the same time. lots of households do this to accommodate people's preferences for creamy vs smooth or dark roasted vs medium roasted.
a big sharpee marker is your friend--label one jar 'his' and one jar 'hers.'
same thing goes for jelly/jam. lots of families/couples accommodate two or three jars of jam going at the same time. truly it's a miniscule expense and everybody can stay happy.

[mpjmph]

Or in my parents' case, one jar for people and another for the dog. My mom gives the dog PB off a spoon and sometimes double dips in the PB jar... I'm not sqeamish at all, live in a magic house, and all that, but a freshly dog-licked spoon in the PB jar sent me over the edge.

[mattstolz]

my dog has her own PBJ jar too... but even she is against double dipping.

choosy dog-dads choose JIF too.

[Emme]

count me in the camp of being grossed out. it's not about them being eaten together or not. it just feels... unsanitary? to me... logically it doesn't sound so bad. this is more of an emotional "wigging out." when i house-sit for my mom, if i open the jelly, there are always bits of pb or almond butter from my stepdad, and it makes my stomach go all icky-poo inside.

[bluemoon4515]

I think I agree with Miss Needle, that if you only use these two jars for PB & J and never just jam on toast then it's probably not so big a deal. But if it were my jars of PB and J he would have to stop contaminating the goods, lest I'd have to smother him with a pillow in his sleep.

A few months ago I discovered toast crumbs in all my jars of honey. The culprit (my bf of several years) didn't understand why I was upset about this (maybe I don't want honey AND toast crumbs in my tea?!), or why the honeys were even special. Eventually he gave in, realizing it was easier to use a clean knife or spoon than listen to me in all my fury.

[Miss Needle]

If you only use your PB & J for PB&J sandwiches, I don't think it's a big deal if there's some jam in the PB or PB in the jam. But if you're using these ingredients for other things (eg. cold Chinese sesame noodles or cream cheese and jam sandwiches), I can see why that could be a problem.

To carminabee's husband: what your wife is asking for isn't too big of a deal. I had an ex who insisted that I eat peanut butter with a spoon because he couldn't stand seeing fork tine marks on the PB.

[Scrapironchef]

There was a brilliant Paul Hogan sketch about making a Vegemite and butter sandwich that involved leaving bits of butter in the vegemite jar and vegemite on the butter. Both leftover bits were "poison" to be avoided next time you made the same concoction.

You could teach your husband to wipe the knife on the other slice of bread before dipping into the PB, saves knives.

[sisterfunkhaus]

This is what I do. I hate having jelly in my PB.

[dcdavis]

I was just going to post this very logical solution!

[aeranthes]

Same here. I get irritated when my boyfriend doesn't, but it happens infrequently enough that it's a non-issue.

[AussieBeth]

My darling other half does this - there is always vegemite in the butter and vice versa. Drives me insane, however the WORST is when there is not only vegie, but toast crumbs in the butter - for some reason, if he takes too much butter, and he has leftovers after he butters his toast, he will wipe the excess, complete with crumbs, BACK into the butter container. Makes me absolutely CRAZY!!!

[latindancer]

Well, for me it's a very small thing in the grand scheme of things how evvvvaaah....

We humans, living together under the same roof, must respect each other...that includes doing our very best to make sure what we're doing isn't helping to make the other person(s) go nuts.
I don't think it's too much to ask for your perfect husband to make sure the spoon he's scooped strawberry jam with isn't placed directly into the peanut butter jar. The same goes for him putting the peanut butter spoon into the strawberry jam jar.
Certainly it's not going to harm the peanut butter or the strawberry jam but it's your request and it bugs you....and shouldn't this be enough for him to not want to do it anymore and certainly not put it back on you to make you look like you're the irrational one?
Of course he's perfect...but he could be ultra perfect if he wouldn't do that anymore :).

[mountaincachers]

We used the same knife (though generally wiped clean) for both the peanut butter and jelly. The occasional cross contamination doesn't bother either of us. The only exception is when my niece with a peanut allergy comes to visit. I always buy a new jar of jam/jelly and put a huge NO PEANUT BUTTER label on the outside to remind us not to use the same knife. For anyone with a pb allergy, I would be wary of eating someone else's jelly. I suspect a lot of people use the same knife.

[pasuga]

Small thing on the grand scale. I don't think it's a big deal to ask to your husband to use a clean knife in both jars.

Two stories about couples I know who have really solid marriages: my brother likes to snack on peanut butter - will take a big spoonful out of the jar and eat it slowly while checking his email or watching TV - he used to leave the spoons all over the house. Drove my SIL nuts until she threw a major fit a few years ago after he left a half-eaten spoon somewhere she didn't find it and they had ants. I also have a friend whose husband (when they were first married) liked to floss his teeth in bed and throw the floss on the floor instead of getting up to put it in the wastebasket. He had a hard time understanding why she thought it was disrespectful for him to expect her to clean it up, but these days he flosses in the bathroom. <g>

My OP is for things this trivial, just accommodate the partner who's upset.