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PB & J dilemma - Please weigh in!

This afternoon I went to grab the peanut butter to make my son a sandwich and found a glob of strawberry jam in the jar from my otherwise mostly perfect husband's late night foray into the kitchen. I have also found peanut butter in the jam on occasion. This wigs me out and he is completely nonplussed about why it bothers me. We have decided to take it here and see which one of us is in the majority. So please, chowhounds, tell us what you think!

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  1. Small thing on the grand scale. I don't think it's a big deal to ask to your husband to use a clean knife in both jars.

    Two stories about couples I know who have really solid marriages: my brother likes to snack on peanut butter - will take a big spoonful out of the jar and eat it slowly while checking his email or watching TV - he used to leave the spoons all over the house. Drove my SIL nuts until she threw a major fit a few years ago after he left a half-eaten spoon somewhere she didn't find it and they had ants. I also have a friend whose husband (when they were first married) liked to floss his teeth in bed and throw the floss on the floor instead of getting up to put it in the wastebasket. He had a hard time understanding why she thought it was disrespectful for him to expect her to clean it up, but these days he flosses in the bathroom. <g>

    My OP is for things this trivial, just accommodate the partner who's upset.

    1. Well, for me it's a very small thing in the grand scheme of things how evvvvaaah....

      We humans, living together under the same roof, must respect each other...that includes doing our very best to make sure what we're doing isn't helping to make the other person(s) go nuts.
      I don't think it's too much to ask for your perfect husband to make sure the spoon he's scooped strawberry jam with isn't placed directly into the peanut butter jar. The same goes for him putting the peanut butter spoon into the strawberry jam jar.
      Certainly it's not going to harm the peanut butter or the strawberry jam but it's your request and it bugs you....and shouldn't this be enough for him to not want to do it anymore and certainly not put it back on you to make you look like you're the irrational one?
      Of course he's perfect...but he could be ultra perfect if he wouldn't do that anymore :).

      1 Reply
      1. re: latindancer

        We used the same knife (though generally wiped clean) for both the peanut butter and jelly. The occasional cross contamination doesn't bother either of us. The only exception is when my niece with a peanut allergy comes to visit. I always buy a new jar of jam/jelly and put a huge NO PEANUT BUTTER label on the outside to remind us not to use the same knife. For anyone with a pb allergy, I would be wary of eating someone else's jelly. I suspect a lot of people use the same knife.

      2. There was a brilliant Paul Hogan sketch about making a Vegemite and butter sandwich that involved leaving bits of butter in the vegemite jar and vegemite on the butter. Both leftover bits were "poison" to be avoided next time you made the same concoction.

        You could teach your husband to wipe the knife on the other slice of bread before dipping into the PB, saves knives.

        4 Replies
        1. re: Scrapironchef

          This is what I do. I hate having jelly in my PB.

          1. re: Scrapironchef

            I was just going to post this very logical solution!

            1. re: Scrapironchef

              Same here. I get irritated when my boyfriend doesn't, but it happens infrequently enough that it's a non-issue.

              1. re: Scrapironchef

                My darling other half does this - there is always vegemite in the butter and vice versa. Drives me insane, however the WORST is when there is not only vegie, but toast crumbs in the butter - for some reason, if he takes too much butter, and he has leftovers after he butters his toast, he will wipe the excess, complete with crumbs, BACK into the butter container. Makes me absolutely CRAZY!!!

              2. If you only use your PB & J for PB&J sandwiches, I don't think it's a big deal if there's some jam in the PB or PB in the jam. But if you're using these ingredients for other things (eg. cold Chinese sesame noodles or cream cheese and jam sandwiches), I can see why that could be a problem.

                To carminabee's husband: what your wife is asking for isn't too big of a deal. I had an ex who insisted that I eat peanut butter with a spoon because he couldn't stand seeing fork tine marks on the PB.

                1. I think I agree with Miss Needle, that if you only use these two jars for PB & J and never just jam on toast then it's probably not so big a deal. But if it were my jars of PB and J he would have to stop contaminating the goods, lest I'd have to smother him with a pillow in his sleep.

                  A few months ago I discovered toast crumbs in all my jars of honey. The culprit (my bf of several years) didn't understand why I was upset about this (maybe I don't want honey AND toast crumbs in my tea?!), or why the honeys were even special. Eventually he gave in, realizing it was easier to use a clean knife or spoon than listen to me in all my fury.