666021 Tue Nov 10 05:57:27 -0800 2009 11 29 Not About Food 0 5169556 my edicts would go forth as follows: 1. no more kiddie shopping carts. i don't care if it's a "customer in training." the kid can ride in mommy or daddy's big cart. and stay out of the middle of the aisle. 2. no more sticky tabs on fruits and vegetables. need i say more? 3. a ban on sampling slobs that let their kids reach in with their hands (snotty, no doubt) to grab a sample of the apple. or to grab a donut or bagel. PLEASE people! 4. a round-up of sampling hogs that make themselves lunch standing and reaching full into the sampling dome to spread the alouette cheese on the whole grain bread, then chomping to eat it right there, leaving a nice little trail of crumbs. oh, that's *nice*. 5. a no loitering sign to remind folks that the middle of the aisle is not the place to stand and catch-up on quilting bee news when the aisles are busy with people actually there to purchase groceries. 6. a ban on children using their "outside voices" and playing hopscotch (or close enough) at the checkout area -- or anywhere for that matter. 7. a warning to deli employees singing strange songs at the top of their lungs, for no discernable reason except self-amusement. 8. a requirement that big displays of a special item must surely have a price posted. hmmm.... i know there are more. i need to rest my czar brain, however, and let you, my esteemed co-czars, issue your edicts, too. oh, i forgot: 9. a ban on weird euro music at high decibels. come on giant, what are you thinking? Tue Nov 10 05:57:27 -0800 2009 105717 alkapal 1 5169575 Can I add one? I'd vote for a ban on cellphones (except for short calls to the partner to get advice on which brand of cereal to buy, etc.). I have been run over, blocked, stymied, slowed, and verbally assaulted by people wandering the aisles mindlessly chatting on their cellphones. Seriously, are they so insecure that they can't get thru 10 minutes of shopping without having their hands held? FYI: As a mother of a 4 yo, I'd love a ban on kids using their outside voices as well, but sometimes accomplishing this is more of a process than an absolute. Tue Nov 10 06:10:28 -0800 2009 5169556 186923 Cachetes 2 5169583 oh yes!!! the cell phone zombies! MUST. USE. MINUTES. MUST. DISTRACT. SELF. FROM. CURRENT. REALITY. ~~~~~~ yes, let's add a ban on long cell conversations. (and since i know you, i can give you a little pass on the "outside voices" thing. that's the benefit of being on the "inside" with the czars). Tue Nov 10 06:13:47 -0800 2009 5169575 105717 alkapal 3 5169739 What about those ones on their blue tooth that are walking towards you, looking at you and talking. Only to find out they're not talking to you and you feel like a tool. DT Tue Nov 10 07:21:19 -0800 2009 5169583 11291 Davwud 1 5169603 10. If, due to the size of my store my grocery aisles had to be "1 lane" I woud require each lane to be designated "1 way" and have large signs clearly noting which way the traffic ran. In my opionion the anoyance of shoppers having to go the "long way round" is nothing compared to the frustration of becoming "trapped" between two people going in opposide dircetions leaving you no egress and both of them screaming at you to get out of thier ways. 10a. In such stores stocking staff would not be allowed to take thier stocking carts an run them through the middle of an aisle then park it and walk away "plugging" the aisle. 11. No aisle containg purchasable stock shall be placed withing the store such that a person wishing to acess it must be in direct interference of those checking out (i.e. putting it so that the getting into the aisle will always require a person to try and "cross" all of the lines of shoppers checking out Tue Nov 10 06:23:28 -0800 2009 5169556 24492 jumpingmonk 1 5169657 If only your second one was adopted, the angels would sing. Those stickers! Tue Nov 10 06:49:55 -0800 2009 5169556 127625 fern 1 5169696 Those dithering, hobbling old ladies getting between me and that perfect peach. Tue Nov 10 07:08:02 -0800 2009 5169556 12630 beevod 1 5169736 All customers MUST pass a shoping cart etiquette course. NO blocking aisles with carts that are perpendicular to the aisle. Carts are to be close to the shelves, parallel and in front of you. NO using said cart as a battering ram. NO leaving carts stranded in the parking lot. Especially in an unused parking space. NO teenagers in the basket. They're old enough to walk. When in the check out line, stand beside your cart, not behind it to make additional room. (if necessary) DT Tue Nov 10 07:20:13 -0800 2009 5169556 11291 Davwud 1 5169749 Get rid of the automotive, book, magazine, lawnchair and toy aisles, which should reduce store size by a third Tue Nov 10 07:26:50 -0800 2009 5169556 178131 BiscuitBoy 1 5169750 All employees will be trained to understand products and their locations in the store. DT Tue Nov 10 07:26:54 -0800 2009 5169556 11291 Davwud 2 5169799 With the corollary that they cannot be sullen and downward-looking, they must Smile and at least say "Hello". Tue Nov 10 07:45:12 -0800 2009 5169750 233294 cuccubear 1 5169812 Addendum to 1: Ban those "car" shopping carts where the kid sits in the front of a plastic toy car and the shopping cart is behind it. No one can steer them without knocking into other customers! All cashiers would know how to properly bag groceries or risk the penalty of having to bring home and make sandwiches out of the bread they squashed at the bottom of the bag under the potatoes, or carry around for an hour the bag they packed to weigh 20 pounds, or some other appropriate punishment. Tue Nov 10 07:49:59 -0800 2009 5169556 66030 lisavf