663613 Fri Oct 30 15:43:56 -0700 2009 14 29 Not About Food 0 5143978 i'm planning a home wedding - and struggling on whether to have the reception catered in our backyard or have it in a restaurant. the price points are the same. the thing about having it in our backyard is that it will be not as tidy as having it in a restaurant. we'll have servers. but the kids will run around, the food may be served a little cold, we may have to wait a little longer between dishes, etc. i don't mind that -- but i'm very easy going. i want to make sure the guests have fun as well. would it just be easier / more comfortable to have it in a nearby restaurant? what would you rather do - go to one location and have everything there - even if it is a bit chaotic at times. or go to two places and have a great, and organized, meal. note - the restaurant is walking distance. Fri Oct 30 15:43:56 -0700 2009 115162 bu dat 1 5143994 I was going in the other direction until you said "restaurant is walking distance". That being the case, I think it will be much nicer to change venues and "shift gears" by going to the restaurant to be properly served the meal. You and the guests will be more comfortable and less cleanup back at the ranch. Fri Oct 30 15:51:31 -0700 2009 5143978 11260 HDinCentralME 1 5144011 My answer, unfortunately, is "it depends". Walking distance can mean different things to different people - do you have older adults who might find it difficult? Also, you mention kids - are there many young kids? Might be easier on them (and their parents) to be in the backyard, where sitting & waiting are not necessary. Personally, I fall on the casual end of the spectrum - a backyard wedding is ideal to me. I would rather attend a home wedding than go to a restaurant. But, I am sure either will be wonderful - happy wedding! Fri Oct 30 15:59:29 -0700 2009 5143978 249405 elfcook 1 5144137 Definitely in the restaurant. You will not be at the mercy of weather. Also, they are better equipped for culinary emergencies than you or a caterer coming to you. They have all the extra equipment on hand, are better r]able to serve hot food hot and cold food cold. You will not be left with clean up after the wedding, and your lawn will not suffer. I git married at home with 85 guests. The furniture from our living room and sunroom had to be moved to the garage, Tables and chairs rented. The caterer ended upo using not only my two ovens, two cooktops, micrtowave, but my BBQ as well. Unfortunately, we were still finding and cleaning up little surprises for two weeks after the wedding, this with a professional cleaning service the day after. This was a second wedding and my wife was insistent on the personal way of untiting the families in our home. Our Home is large, and we sat the 85 comfortably, but I don't recoimmend it, when our daughters marry, the affair will not be in the home. Fri Oct 30 17:09:11 -0700 2009 5143978 274541 bagelman01 1 5144367 I am getting married in May and we are planning both the wedding and reception in the backyard. Yes, there will be some logistical concerns and you have to feel comfortable with the caterer, but in the end it came down to what we wanted the feeling to be. We want everyone to mingle and enjoy each other - celebrating not only our wedding, but an opportunity to get together and kick back. We want our friends to bring their children (we are in our mid 30's and our friends almost all have children!) and we don't want them to be looking at their watches or concerned that little Mary won't keep her seat. We are going to show kiddo movies on the side of the house with a blow up projector and we have two teenagers set to do some impromptu babysitting in the event the adults are still eating. It should be a great night. Whatever you decide, just remember to have fun and enjoy! Whatever choice you make, focus only on the positives! Fri Oct 30 19:38:10 -0700 2009 5143978 1099082 vstock 1 5144438 If you don't have a pool and have a lot of kids coming, I'd say go with the backyard. Most weddings really aren't that fun for children, but if you have it at your house it's not such a big deal if they run around or are playing with toys and games. You can set up an area for them to run around and play without the parents having to worry that they're distracting others or getting into places they shouldn't be. My mom got married at her brother's house and my aunt said my sister and I were welcome to get married there as well, so I don't think she felt like it was too much of a hassle. Fri Oct 30 20:19:41 -0700 2009 5143978 107671 queencru 1 5144814 My daughter is getting married in May and the venue is such that the ceremony will be outside (weather permitting) and the reception inside regardless of weather. I like one venue....the big issues I see for you are (a) weather, (b) work involved, (c) potential for bugs and other outside variables. I think the restaurant is the way to go. Sat Oct 31 07:09:57 -0700 2009 5143978 11990 Janet from Richmond 1 5145280 Definitely the backyard - it might not seem as polished, but it will probably be a lot more fun. When I was married, we did a very casual rehearsal dinner at my parents house. The reception itself was much more formal and I wish we could have switched (or just done two casual things). As long as your caterers are pros, you shouldn't have any problems. Sat Oct 31 11:42:29 -0700 2009 5143978 172437 foodpoisoned 1 5148100 I would greatly prefer the restaurant. I think the service will be better, food will be better executed, and guests will feel more comfortable (keep in mind that it's hard to ensure that a backyard wedding isn't too hot or too cold, even if you have a tent, and it's not fun being uncomfortable for several hours) But you might want to consider having a van available to shuttle people over there, for elderly relatives, etc. Sun Nov 01 19:50:12 -0800 2009 5143978 13875 Nicole 1 5149539 I have been to a number of casual weddings, in open backyards, under tents, in small restaurants (probably 15-16, about 2/3rds outdoors), and with two exceptions I have preferred the indoor venues. I really don't like fishing a gnat out of my drink, being plowed into by a bee-allergic guest trying to fake out a bumblebee (has happened 4 diifferent weddings,4 different guests), walking out of my shoe that gets caught in muck, etc. Half the outdoor events have been at least dampened by rain (one outright flooded). That said, the people have been delightful, the food enjoyable and the couple handsome and beautiful and happy, so all is well with the world. Mon Nov 02 11:36:49 -0800 2009 5143978 50613 weezycom 2 5150674 I feel the exact same way, your examples really hits home! Especially shoes getting caught in the muck...I was recently at an outdoor wedding where it was no longer raining but the ground was soaked...I probably pulled my heel out of the mud at least a dozen times...sometimes I was so deep in that I needed help getting freed!...my poor new shoes. Mon Nov 02 17:21:54 -0800 2009 5149539 13875 Nicole 1 5149847 Is walking distance two blocks... or a mile? If the restaurant is very very close it could be nice to stroll there as a group for the celebration. But it would have be literally around the block - walking around in formal attire and high heels isn't much fun. Mon Nov 02 12:58:49 -0800 2009 5143978 67657 Kajikit 1 5151747 Speaking strictly as a guest - restaurant please!!! No need to provide shade, battle bugs, worry about rain, etc. Tue Nov 03 07:40:41 -0800 2009 5143978 10581 Linda VH 1 5156361 Thank you all - nice thoughts. I'm still debating, but will circle back once we've decided what to do. Wed Nov 04 15:13:04 -0800 2009 5143978 115162 bu dat 1 5156408 Another vote for restaurant. Some people brought up some good points: most likely better execution of food,no bugs, weather, etc. I'd also like to add that no chance of guests ruining or spilling things on your furniture. And I was so tired after I got married. It was nice coming back to a neat apartment without dealing with cleaning-up crap. Wed Nov 04 15:27:31 -0800 2009 5143978 10763 Miss Needle