663335 Thu Oct 29 12:41:52 -0700 2009 16 33 Food Media and News 0 5140898 Just wanted to keep a repository of the best lines from Top Chef. Feel free to add on. Culinary Boner-Andrew This is Top Chef, not Top Scallop-Fabio I'm not your bitch, Bitch-Dave Tom C: "We went from little prick to big in my mouth." And a wry eye-roll. Friend of Natalie's: "Yes, that's what usually happens!" "Who's your dealer is and does he want more customers."-Natalie Portman: " a perfectly prepared pana cotta should wobble like a woman's breast."- Jay Raynor "We can serve monkey ass in empty clam shell and still win."-Fabio Thu Oct 29 12:41:52 -0700 2009 11826 Phaedrus 1 5140916 the one liners from natalie last night make me think she loves sex and drugs. Holds some truth to her SNL skit she did awhile back. Thu Oct 29 12:50:01 -0700 2009 5140898 253863 SDGourmand 1 5141053 Don't forget Wolfgang Puck's line during the puree-heavy episode a few weeks ago about chefs feeling the need to serve baby food. actually, there were a few winners from him & Tom C that night. there was a Penn/Padma exchange about bull's testicles recently as well. Thu Oct 29 13:42:24 -0700 2009 5140898 103920 goodhealthgourmet 1 5141270 I dont remember which episode i heard this in but it was funny (it may even have been a special or something)..... $I was sweating like a mountain goat on a beach"...fabio. Best quote ever. Thu Oct 29 14:57:28 -0700 2009 5140898 226064 CoconutMilk 1 5141301 I'll register my vote for "It's Top Chef, not Top Scallop." Thu Oct 29 15:06:43 -0700 2009 5140898 79896 shallots 1 5141310 Although I'm getting tired of Michael V., as a younger sibling, I laughed out loud when he told his older bro, "Don't be a d*ck, Bryan." The exchange w/ Padma, Toby, and Penn, was pretty good too. Quote from Washington City Paper (Tim Carman): "Toby Young describes Eli’s pork balls as looking like “a couple of bull’s testicles.” To which Padma Lakshmi chimes in: “Believe it or not, I’ve actually had bull’s testicles…” At which point, Penn interrupts Padma for a two-word quip: “I’ll bet.” And without pausing to reflect on what compliment (or insult) Penn has just delivered, Padma marches right along with her thought: “And these are actually a little big.'" Thu Oct 29 15:10:08 -0700 2009 5140898 255446 Gigi007 1 5141339 Fabio: It's Top Chef, not Top Pussy (when he cut his hand & didn't want to stop to take care of it). I can't remember the exact words but what about the hairy armpit comment by Toby? I'm sure someone can help me out here. Thu Oct 29 15:23:56 -0700 2009 5140898 1099702 sparkareno 1 5141416 Hung: Even my monkey can do that. I think I remember a couple of other chefs talking about monkeys as well -- Anthony Bourdain and somebody else I just can't recall now. Do chefs have these monkeys that we aren't aware of hiding in their closet like Chris from Family Guy? Thu Oct 29 15:53:51 -0700 2009 5140898 10763 Miss Needle 2 5141512 You might be thinking of the San Francisco episode of No Reservations when Bourdain says to Chris Cosentino, "You bring the monkey brains and I'm out of here" (or something to that effect). Thu Oct 29 16:36:31 -0700 2009 5141416 235489 ktb615 1 5141588 There was the line taken from full metal jacket that Bourdain gave to Mikey, 'What is your major malfunction?' Gail going on about how she likes, or more specifically doesn't like, her eggs in several episodes. Not so much a line but an obsesed rant when Big Tom could not accept the fact that Cassey used a chicken instead of a rooster in her cock-au-vin. He would not let it go. Thu Oct 29 17:08:04 -0700 2009 5140898 23758 Withnail42 1 5142289 I don't remember the exact line, but my all-time favorite is Bourdain's line comparing someone's lobster, I believe, to doll head. Still makes me chuckle. Fri Oct 30 04:55:17 -0700 2009 5140898 66030 lisavf 2 5142310 i'm pretty sure that was the airplane food challenge where he also compared CJ's charred broccolini to prison food (i think there was a Bob Marley reference in there as well). Fri Oct 30 05:18:02 -0700 2009 5142289 103920 goodhealthgourmet 2 5142602 I can't remember all of them but Bourdain had quite a few good lines and would be good additions to this thread. Fri Oct 30 07:33:53 -0700 2009 5142289 89493 scubadoo97 2 5147617 "That dish approached the consistency of doll head." and "They were cleaning Bob Marley's house and found this in the closet." for the broccolini A couple more good ones: "Padma's all like yo, 'Casa, motherf******s' and it's like oh, what? Phatnesssss!" "I made glorified nachos. I'm not proud." "Somebody's gonna throw someone over the bus" "I have one false testicle and I'm ready to cook." And the whole explanation of Hung's Smurf Village quickfire. Sun Nov 01 15:48:03 -0800 2009 5142289 11781 beachmouse 1 5142862 I love the quotes so far, good post. Here's one that makes me laugh, even though it has nothing to do with food. Fabio: "I'm 30 years old and I have to sleep in the bunky beds." I hesitate to add anything by Toby, I would want him or anyone else to mistake it for approval. Fri Oct 30 08:54:58 -0700 2009 5140898 11327 lizzy 2 5147201 I loved the "bunky beds" comment, too! Sun Nov 01 12:48:43 -0800 2009 5142862 88544 Ima Wurdibitsch 1 5147252 Not sure exactly the quote but it went something like this "I've been kicked in the ass so many times, I'm pooping boots" - Fabio Sun Nov 01 13:16:59 -0800 2009 5140898 235812 Sandwich_Sister