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Top Lines from Top Chef

Just wanted to keep a repository of the best lines from Top Chef. Feel free to add on.

Culinary Boner-Andrew

This is Top Chef, not Top Scallop-Fabio

I'm not your bitch, Bitch-Dave

Tom C: "We went from little prick to big in my mouth." And a wry eye-roll.
Friend of Natalie's: "Yes, that's what usually happens!"

"Who's your dealer is and does he want more customers."-Natalie Portman:

" a perfectly prepared pana cotta should wobble like a woman's breast."- Jay Raynor

"We can serve monkey ass in empty clam shell and still win."-Fabio

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  1. the one liners from natalie last night make me think she loves sex and drugs. Holds some truth to her SNL skit she did awhile back.

    1. Don't forget Wolfgang Puck's line during the puree-heavy episode a few weeks ago about chefs feeling the need to serve baby food.

      actually, there were a few winners from him & Tom C that night.

      there was a Penn/Padma exchange about bull's testicles recently as well.

      1. I dont remember which episode i heard this in but it was funny (it may even have been a special or something).....

        $I was sweating like a mountain goat on a beach"...fabio. Best quote ever.

        1. I'll register my vote for "It's Top Chef, not Top Scallop."

          1. Although I'm getting tired of Michael V., as a younger sibling, I laughed out loud when he told his older bro, "Don't be a d*ck, Bryan."

            The exchange w/ Padma, Toby, and Penn, was pretty good too.

            Quote from Washington City Paper (Tim Carman):

            "Toby Young describes Eli’s pork balls as looking like “a couple of bull’s testicles.”

            To which Padma Lakshmi chimes in: “Believe it or not, I’ve actually had bull’s testicles…”

            At which point, Penn interrupts Padma for a two-word quip: “I’ll bet.”

            And without pausing to reflect on what compliment (or insult) Penn has just delivered, Padma marches right along with her thought: “And these are actually a little big.'"