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Oct 8, 2009 08:44 AM

Horrible Host: Invited to a Dinner Party, and then asked to bring DINNER!!!


My hubby and I were recently asked to come to a dinner party. When I asked the host what I could bring, he asked me to bring LASAGNA!!! He even told me the number of people coming so I would have enough! When I told my husband what happened, he was of course pissed and said we should decline the invitation. But being the sucker I am, I made the lasagna and we went. To my suprise, the host only provided the location and the dishes. Another guest brought some bagged salad, and still others brought store-bought desserts and soda. I feel so used! I shouldn't have even gone, but I felt it wrong to accept an invitation and then decline. Has anyone ever had to deal with something like this? I felt so foolish when I saw what the other people had brought. The only thing that made it worthwhile was that my husband was eating it. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has been played by a host like this!

  1. You're a better person than I. I would've told your host what to do with their lasagna...

    As the "gourmet" in my circle, I've for years endured people asking me to bring dishes that are either a lot of work or so elaborate it's hard to keep them attractive/stable. But these dishes were always part of a larger meal, so I'd comply.

    If I *ever* arrived at a "dinner party" only to discover that my "contribution" was, in fact, the *only* dinner available, I'd be livid and speak my mind to the host, leave and never come back.

    1. Wow!

      That's a new one! I never heard of such a thing.

      Did any of the other guests comment on the situation? I mean surely some light-hearted comments that might have gotten the point across to the so called host???
      I can't imagine finding myself in that situation and all of the people involved not bringing it up and joking about it.

      The cheek of some people indeed!!

      5 Replies
      1. re: NellyNel

        The other couple and the then girlfriend of the host did not say a thing. I have not eaten with/out with the other salad bagging couple and I did have a small dinner for the host/gf when they got engaged, but I have not gone to eat with them since it happened. I am cooking food for the gf's bridal shower this saturday, but after that...I"M DONE! I can understand that some people cannot cook, but that is what Wegmans is for! I just have to learn not to associate with greedy gut, ungrateful people.

        1. re: cookieluvntasha

          Maybe, since you are cooking for the shower, they wanted to show off your cooking skills to their other friends and thought you would be insulted to not be bringing the main course...?

          ...that seems to be the only logical reason to ask that you bring the main...

          Since you did host a small engagment party, and offered (or were you asked) (or are you being paid?) to do the shower, aren't you kind of close to one or both of them? Is this an anomaly of behavior for them?

          1. re: Cathy

            No, i offered to do the engagement party. I do often extend myself to others, so maybe that's why they felt so comfortable asking for the main. But the difference is, I extend on my terns, without being asked.

          2. re: cookieluvntasha

            Be prepared to be asked to cook for future bridal/baby showers and parties on Saturday!

            1. re: Sarah

              Thats exactly what happened! The bride to be was really happy though and said thank you for all my hard work. So at least I know she appreciated the days of prep and money paid for her special party. I do these things without thinking of if ppl will appreciate. But when they don't, that's when my feelings are hurt.

        2. You're not the only one; some version (not usually as bad) comes up here regularly. YOU are partly to blame because you allowed it to happen. Please learn from this. Avoid toxic people is one of MY rules.

          2 Replies
          1. re: c oliver

            Avoid eating with toxic people--that could be on that thread about Michael Pollan's Rules to eat by thread. Good advice, c.

            1. re: nofunlatte

              Definitely should be an official rule.

          2. Guess you didn't take home a doggie bag.

            1. I have a friend who does this all the time. Rich as sin, too. Never ever ever invites without expecting that half the things will be provided. There are reasons why we're all still friends and go to these parties, but this excentricity annoys me no end.