657948 Wed Oct 07 21:21:40 -0700 2009 55 29 Not About Food 0 5087446 Invited for casual dinner, small gathering -- at a custom-built home worthy of AD -- what in the world do we bring for a hostess gift. Wine is out, they have a zillion bottle cellar... can't be gauche now, can we? Don't know them well, but they are down-to-earth type...whew! Actually, I wouldn't know what to bring to a seaside cottage either! Wed Oct 07 21:21:40 -0700 2009 10877 Sarah 1 5087466 How about some nice chocolates? I find that a small box from a local chocolatier is always welcome. or a good bottle of booze. Wed Oct 07 21:38:46 -0700 2009 5087446 76025 mojoeater 1 5087473 When in doubt...flowers. Really nice ones. It's still a thoughtful gesture. I also second the suggestion of artisan chocolates. You can't compete with their wine cellar and no doubt they have all the serveware accessories they need. Wed Oct 07 21:46:13 -0700 2009 5087446 11228 BeeZee 1 5087485 AD type home or not, I rotate the following items with wine as hostess gifts... nice bottle of olive oil flowers nice chocolates as mentioned above Also, people may appreciate little gourmet goodies such as marcona almonds, truffle honey, etc. Wed Oct 07 21:56:39 -0700 2009 5087446 108661 ceekskat 2 5111322 A bottle of great olive oil will always be welcome. Sat Oct 17 19:06:26 -0700 2009 5087485 11995 pikawicca 3 5111731 Please come to dinner anytime! Sun Oct 18 04:55:59 -0700 2009 5111322 36661 Sam Fujisaka 2 5112485 Sherry vinegar also. Sun Oct 18 12:17:06 -0700 2009 5087485 131001 c oliver 1 5087530 Rather than flowers, how about some living herb plants -- the kind you get in the produce section and can cook with or plant under grow-lights. Or maybe a jar of artisan honey. Most of all, I wouldn't overthink it. While my house is far from this showplace you describe, I'd certainly never turn up my nose at a sincere offer of any kind. Don't stress! Wed Oct 07 22:52:44 -0700 2009 5087446 130151 dmd_kc 1 5087556 Rich people with fancy houses should receive sincere gifts with the same gratitude and grace anyone else would. My guess is you are worrying more than you need to. All the suggestions here are great. And, despite what you said, if you know they have a big wine cellar you know they like wine - it's probably not a bad gift at all. Find a reputable shop with good staff and ask them to steer you to a good bottle. Budget more than $10-12 and you should be fine. It's the $7 bottles of yellow tail from the grocery store that no one likes. Wed Oct 07 23:24:49 -0700 2009 5087446 68210 andytee 2 5112489 I have gone to a wine store that I know to be helpful and describe the recipient. I'll then ask for something that might be a bit off the beaten path that they may not have tried. Sun Oct 18 12:19:23 -0700 2009 5087556 131001 c oliver 1 5087601 Fancy tea towels. In France one can find tea towels with grand cru castle and logo printed on. They are also sold in north America but I don't know where/how. Thu Oct 08 01:07:14 -0700 2009 5087446 1106797 Parigi 1 5087695 Some interesting hostess gifts I have gotten over ther years are a decorative wine corker, a cookbook holder, cocktail forks, fun cocktail napkins. Thu Oct 08 04:46:58 -0700 2009 5087446 142853 Alica 2 5091816 I love getting 'fun' cocktail napkins! One of my favorite hostess gifts. Fri Oct 09 13:39:32 -0700 2009 5087695 124908 jeanmarieok 3 5116201 - Cocktail napkins and a matching set of coasters are nice. I've rec'd a few sets of and 10 yrs or more later still remember who gave them to me. - Nice tea towels, as mentioned above: I've rec'd these and love them - nice linen ones double as bread basket liners also. For that matter, why not hand towels? - Food items such as: fancy salt(s), porcini paste, dried mushrooms, vanilla beans tied up w nice ribbon (if they cook), good sherry vinegar, truffle salt (about $20); fancy dried peppers: pimente d'espellete, aleppo, ancho powder etc.: it's all about the presentation! - Flowers should be prearranged preferable in a vase, even if it's just a cheapie glass one from the florist and they shouldn't include lilies (b/c of the fragrance that many object to). - Something nice for their breakfast the next day: good coffee, marmalade, bagels or croissants if you're near a good bakery, brioche, babka, etc. Mon Oct 19 20:57:30 -0700 2009 5091816 1093156 cinnamon girl 1 5087720 Put the same amount of thought into the gift as you would any other gift. A person who lives in a shoebox deserves the same as someone who lives in a fancy house. While you might not want to get wine, there are plenty of other interesting options. If the hostess likes to cook, you can bring a fun little kitchen gadget that you have and use all the time, something the hostess mentioned she liked when she was in your home, etc. I have to say NO to flowers though. As someone who has allergies, some flower arrangements can make my nose run immediately. It can take a while for the smell/pollen to dissipate after getting ride of the flowers. Thu Oct 08 05:13:42 -0700 2009 5087446 107671 queencru 2 5109784 While I'd never bring flowers to someone whom I knew was sensitive, I don't see why they aren't a perfectly good gift. For all you know, they might be allergic to chocolate, olive oil, politically adverse to the tropical wood in your kitchen gadget's handle, and so on. My point is that just about any gift to a person who hardly know is fraught with the potential of being not quite best. I don't see flowers as too much more 'dangerous' and they are a traditional hostess gift (and yes, I have read the LONG post about bringing flowers from a year or so ago). PS I have a strong sensitivity to many flowers. A pot of hyacinths or paperwhites would send me out of the room to take two aspirin, a claritin, and crack a window for fresh air. I still think they are a totally reasonable gift. Fri Oct 16 23:39:34 -0700 2009 5087720 24055 Atahualpa 3 5109881 Most people don't know I'm sensitive because I don't go broadcasting my allergies. I think it's different from chocolate or something in a container because the host(ess) can't always smile, nod and put the gift aside. Flowers, on the other hand, can trigger an asthma attack or some total allergic meltdown in an allergic host(ess) and make it hard for him/her to continue hosting the event. Sat Oct 17 05:02:14 -0700 2009 5109784 107671 queencru 1 5087806 Do you have a special treat you enjoy making and make well? I used to know someone who made this wonderful fudge, delicious muffins for them to enjoy for breakfast the next day. I make wine biscuits and biscotti, both great for an anytime treat. Thu Oct 08 06:03:43 -0700 2009 5087446 142853 Alica 1 5088277 We've been invited to housewarmings at homes that we couldn't afford in our wildest dreams. Traditional hostess gifts somehow seem out-of-place in a dwelling that's a designer showcase. We resort to wine (not applicable in this case), usually. Flowers, however, nearly always work. I've also been known to give gifts of obscure cordials that're hard to get. Thu Oct 08 09:00:22 -0700 2009 5087446 270888 shaogo 1 5088350 I think it's best to go with small and lovely, rather than big. So, a 1/2 pound box of chocolates, if possible from a local chocolatier. Or something local--maple syrup, hot sauce? Or beautiful soaps, maybe from the farmers' market. I had a guest give me the pump bottles of soap and hand lotion from Williams Sonoma, and I thought it was a great gift. Something homemade? peanut brittle? truffles? Thu Oct 08 09:21:22 -0700 2009 5087446 86221 lulubelle 1 5088507 Thanks, everybody! I'm going to put together a small basket of chocolates and other goodies and relax and enjoy myself! Thu Oct 08 10:05:36 -0700 2009 5087446 10877 Sarah 1 5088931 I love getting really nice scented candles...& I give them too. Thu Oct 08 12:31:20 -0700 2009 5087446 1099702 sparkareno 2 5112501 I LOATHE scented (or even colored) candles. If I received them as a gift, they'd be out the door to be donated the following day. HATE scented candles :( Sun Oct 18 12:22:27 -0700 2009 5088931 131001 c oliver 3 5112533 Me too. Terrible gift as far as I'm concerned. Sun Oct 18 12:38:00 -0700 2009 5112501 68210 andytee 2 5113730 None for me either! Please let people go scentless or pick their own scents. What you like/don't like can be very personal. I am disgusted by anything close to the old-fashioned flowery scent (toilet water?), that some older women wear. I'm OK with vanilla. I think OP should take 2-4 Riedels. About the cost of a bottle of wine you would not be embarased to bring and they might think of you when they use them. Mon Oct 19 04:38:46 -0700 2009 5088931 137946 Scargod 3 5113764 2 to 4 Riedels? Hey, Kiddo, I'll invite you for spaghetti any time! But seriously, I think wine glasses are a risky hostess gift for many reasons ranging from host's storage space, preferences, whether the new will blend with the old, and then there is the expense. They ain't cheap, and a very expensive hostess gift can make the hosts feel uncomfortable. But for you, spaghetti at nine on Saturday. I'll have the Chianti cellar temperature. '-). Mon Oct 19 05:37:04 -0700 2009 5113730 112096 Caroline1 4 5113843 Amity Wine and Spirits in New Haven,CT has chardonnay glasses on special for $10 each. The mouth is a tad large for a big red, but I'm not that picky. The salesman said that a red's alcohol fumes might overpower you in this glass. Chuckle. OK, bring it on! I think we will be in Dallas in late January.... Mon Oct 19 06:31:44 -0700 2009 5113764 137946 Scargod 5 5113972 Stock up on the Riedels! '-) Mon Oct 19 07:29:52 -0700 2009 5113843 112096 Caroline1 5 5113977 And bring an egg cutter or two also. Mon Oct 19 07:31:08 -0700 2009 5113843 131001 c oliver 6 5113982 ? Mon Oct 19 07:33:03 -0700 2009 5113977 137946 Scargod 7 5113999 Down thread, C1 has a number of great and a little unusual recs, i.e., egg cups and cutters. I just assumed that with the great glasses, you'd drink a lot of wine, sleep over and she'd make y'all soft-boiled eggs for breakfast. Mon Oct 19 07:38:25 -0700 2009 5113982 131001 c oliver 8 5114307 LOL Love it! Mon Oct 19 09:22:17 -0700 2009 5113999 112096 Caroline1 4 5116223 But there are different levels of Riedel. This winter I bought their lowest level of champagne and white in a discount store for under $30/box of 4. Cheaper is the way to go anyway - who wants to obsess over broken wineglasses? Mon Oct 19 21:06:01 -0700 2009 5113764 1093156 cinnamon girl 2 5116210 The problem with scented candles is that fragrance is so personal. And even if the candle is a scent you like, it often doesn't translate well when infused in wax and burned. They clash with food and whatever scents the people are wearing too. I've given away so many scented candles (to people I know like them). Mon Oct 19 21:02:05 -0700 2009 5088931 1093156 cinnamon girl 1 5090341 A small orchid plant is my standby gift. Everyone seems to love them. Fri Oct 09 02:02:04 -0700 2009 5087446 13619 Sharuf 2 5090479 This idea is brilliant! It doesn't need immediate care. It will smile at the host or hostess the next day. And, it can taken to the office or even given to someone else with grace if it doesn't find a place in their home. I'm going to adopt your idea. Fri Oct 09 05:34:17 -0700 2009 5090341 21331 BostonZest 3 5116229 Yes I took one last month to a nice person who was kind enough to host a b'day dinner for me . . . cost a lot though since I was dumb enough to buy one in a fancy pot. Anyway, she mentioned later how beautiful was (and is still doing). Mon Oct 19 21:08:46 -0700 2009 5090479 1093156 cinnamon girl 1 5109689 We didn't go, but I'd planned on bringing an orchid plant. Ah, blame it on 6" rain in 12 hours! Fri Oct 16 21:19:33 -0700 2009 5087446 10877 Sarah 2 5109927 If their AD house is built in a low area, take them an inflatible dinghy. As to the question: flowers are OK - although I always take along some small shears and do a careful arrangement for the recipient. Sat Oct 17 05:44:44 -0700 2009 5109689 36661 Sam Fujisaka 3 5110809 I've been in the gift indsurty for 22 years, and have a few suggestions,,, A very good rule of thumb is not to bring anything at all which is food/beverage (chocolates, wine, food basket.) since the hostess may feel she 'has to serve' this. Flowers are also frowned upon, since you don't want her to have to drop what she's doing to tend to the flowers (finding a vase, filling with water, etc) and again, she may feel she 'must' put it on her table. It should be something meant for her to enjoy all to herself later - such as a beautifully packaged European bubble bath, box of luxury bath soap, hand/body lotion, etc. ...something she can relax with at a lter time. (Note: NOT the stuff they sell in your local drugstore, but what you find in a boutique/gift shop.) If she has a special interest (cooking, gardening, Renaissance art) , a new book on that subject is always a treasured gift, or even a CD in the genre of music she enjoys is always welcome. (Again, something she can enjoy all to herself at a later time). Sat Oct 17 14:45:24 -0700 2009 5109927 194211 OOliver 4 5111312 Another point on the flowers, when I entertain I usually get extra flowers for the occasion. Quite often, when people bring flowers I feel they are wasted because I am searching for a place to put them. Republic Of Teas has the most wonderful camomile lavender tea, that is a great hostess gift. You might get bulk tea with a fancy single cup strainer. Something like Crane notecards is a great hostess gift. Sat Oct 17 18:59:40 -0700 2009 5110809 142853 Alica 4 5111464 Re soaps, O--I also always enjoy receiving an small assortment of lovely, smaller milled *guest soaps*. In that way, I always have a supply to use for guests. Sat Oct 17 20:44:00 -0700 2009 5110809 1104013 Normandie 5 5115327 When I went to my boyfriends parents house for the first "meet the parents" dinner a brought a small box of beautiful guest soaps. I had the store add their special wrapping. My boyfriends mom was thrilled, and thought I was so thoughtful. Mon Oct 19 14:54:39 -0700 2009 5111464 113445 energy 6 5115352 I would do soaps if they were non-scented and either white or ivory. Mon Oct 19 15:00:32 -0700 2009 5115327 131001 c oliver 4 5112511 Hey OOliver, c oliver here :) Your third paragraph elicits the same (negative) passion as scented candles from me. Like I'd never give someone perfume unless I already know they love it, I wouldn't give anything scented. WAY too personal IMO. But love your name! Sun Oct 18 12:26:46 -0700 2009 5110809 131001 c oliver 4 5112571 I'm with c oliver that the third paragraph describes items that tend to be way too personal. I've gotten the bath set before and I can tell you how many times I've used it: zero. It's one thing if you know what products/scents the hostess likes, but if you're shooting in the dark for something to suit her, it's likely to be a miss. Most women are very particular about what scents and products they use- some want all-natural, some have sensitive skin, some never take baths. Sun Oct 18 12:58:16 -0700 2009 5110809 107671 queencru 3 5111532 Instead of bringing shears (because I haven't mastered flower arranging) I get a nice arrangement in a vase from the florist that way the host/ess doesn't have to find a vase etc. If I'm the recipient I am most happy with things you can't buy - comraderie and conversation. :) Sat Oct 17 21:43:22 -0700 2009 5109927 138472 maplesugar 4 5111730 You are the perfect recipient!!!! I just ask the host or hostess where a vase might be. So far, my arrangements are appreciated: and arranging flowers - with care and love - is kind of like cooking for others Sun Oct 18 04:55:37 -0700 2009 5111532 36661 Sam Fujisaka 1 5111770 Whether the invitation is to Versaille or a tent at the edge of the city dump, I go for something with a sense of humor, yet useful. You haven't mentioned price, so shooting for all over the board, I've had warm receptions to things like a bottle of rare or unusual liquor (Danziger goldwasser was a big hit, with flakes of real gold floating in the liqueur), a set of escargot tongs and forks (god knows you can never have too many of those!), those cute little pewter labels for different types of cheese, a bunch of dinner candles (a box of a dozen in a nice shade of ivory), an egg capper (they run from under ten bucks to around seventy, but they all work), maybe some egg cups to go with the egg topper, asparagus spears... There are tons of things that are fun to give and fun to receive. Personally, I do not take flowers as a hostess gift and don't much like to receive them as well. The problem with flowers is that they require immediate attention, and hey, I've got other things to do! If I feel a need to send flowers, I have a florist deliver them the day AFTER the dinner. To send flowers from a florist that are delivered on the day of the dinner can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings. Sun Oct 18 05:35:46 -0700 2009 5087446 112096 Caroline1 2 5112519 Oh, C1, PLEASE be MY guest, okay???? I think goldwasser is SO neat; haven't had it in years but a real wow factor AND fun. Definitely IVORY (and unscented) candles. I've always wanted an egg capper and egg cups. Everything you mention sounds perfect - FOR ME :) Sun Oct 18 12:29:45 -0700 2009 5111770 131001 c oliver 3 5112902 So when is dinner? '-) Sun Oct 18 15:49:24 -0700 2009 5112519 112096 Caroline1 1 5113876 I think I have posted this before but a guest recently brought me a little basket of homemade muffins and scones. This was a sweet gift I thought and we enjoyed them the next day while finishing the dishes from the party and because they are breakfast items, there was no expectation of course that they be served. Mon Oct 19 06:48:25 -0700 2009 5087446 158016 cassoulady 2 5115379 Yes, I have a friend who used to always bring that kind of gift - well, purchased maybe - but still, goodies for breakfast, some nice jam, etc. Mon Oct 19 15:08:49 -0700 2009 5113876 10985 MMRuth 1 5113892 A subscription Mon Oct 19 06:53:25 -0700 2009 5087446 12630 beevod 1 5116206 I've gotten so many good ideas from this thread. Thanks, all. Mon Oct 19 20:59:16 -0700 2009 5087446 131001 c oliver 2 5116222 Me too -- Thank you! -OP Mon Oct 19 21:05:59 -0700 2009 5116206 10877 Sarah