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Sep 20, 2009 05:00 PM

Food -- Not Sex -- Is Basis for Relationships

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  1. I don't get it. We only eat 3 times a day.

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    1. Let the Double Entendres begin......

      1. Interesting. I didn't read the whole article, but was struck by this observation:

        "Anthropologists have noted that many primitive societies will tolerate a married woman sleeping around, but will ostracise her if she feeds any man other than her husband. In the ancestral struggle for survival, it seems, sustenance was more important than sex."

        Good to know.

        11 Replies
        1. re: Gigi007

          "sustenance was more important than sex (for women)" : how is that only ancestral? Isn't that the essence of modern marriage? Just curious...

          1. re: Veggo

            I see what you mean, Veggo. I quoted from the article without the insertion of the parentheses "(for women)" in the 1st sentence, which I assume you added. One could argue that now as in ancient times, food (for both men and women) trumps sex, in the hierarchy of needs. So, no, not a novel idea

            I actually meant to say that I was struck by the first sentence I quoted--the idea that sleeping around by married women was tolerated, but feeding other men outside the marriage wasn't.

            1. re: Gigi007

              I don't invovle myself with married women, but it's refreshing when one pays a resto bill. So times *have* changed.

              1. re: Veggo

                Thankfully, yes times have changed. On the subject of women picking up the check, it's a topic I like discussing. I don't consider myself a feminist by any means, but have no problem and in fact reallly like paying every once in a while. At the same time, I know a lot of women who don't and even worse, women who actually invite men out and then expect them to pay all the time..I realize it's a cultural behavior, but still it kind of irks me because I don't want men out there to think all women are looking to take advantage.

                  1. re: Gigi007

                    It is even worse than that. Just basing it off of women I know (not 'women I've dated'), there's absolutely no way for a guy to win here. I know women who just expect the guy to pay. I know women who will drop a guy if he insists on paying (because he's "sexist"). I know women who will offer to pay/split/etc, but drop a guy if he accepts (he's "cheap"). I know women who will offer to pay/split/etc and mean it. etc etc. I've yet to identify a tactic as a male that would be foolproof in terms of potentially leading to trouble.

                    1. re: jgg13

                      You will figure it out about the time you no longer want or need them.

                      1. re: Veggo


                        I long ago decided what I wanted, and if someone didn't care for that, that's their problem. And the folks who are using it as some sort of trick/test ("i'll offer to pay, he better not accept") are people I don't really want to be be with anyways, so good riddance. I have a few female friends who are like that, and it just makes me shake my head.

                  2. re: Veggo

                    If I'm the one making the invitation, I pay. If he invites me, he should pay. I've certainly surprised a few fellows when I insist on paying. I just smile and say, "If you'd like to take me to dinner, you have to issue the invitation!" Gray area comes in when it's a casual kind of invitation; i.e., "Let's meet for a bite/drink after work."

                    1. re: Ima Wurdibitsch

                      I'm with you, Ima (no pun intended!), but you'd be surprised how many women out there have no qualms about inviting a man out fully expecting that he'll pay. As a woman, I don't like that behavior although as I posted earlier I've come to learn that with some women (and men who are OK with this), it's cultural.

            2. I was struck by the following quote, however, "If you feed a chimp cooked food for tens of thousands of years, I find it hard to believe that it would end up looking like the same animal."

              I seriously don't think that cooking the food would have that impact as much as the "tens of thousands of years" that have elapsed would have.....

              2 Replies
              1. re: Gio

                Gravity is not our friend...and they didn't have disposable razors.

              2. Dang, I saw Sax, not with a professional sax player....I get great sax on a regular basis. And boy...can he eat.

                2 Replies
                1. re: tracylee

                  Saxophones...drunk guys....brass urinals....oh, never mind.

                  1. re: Veggo

                    LOL I need more coffee before I read a thread like this.