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Idiotic things you do in the kitchen

I put 2 eggs on to boil this morning and 20 minutes later I hear popping noises and smell that smell.

Why oh why do I ALWAYS forget I have eggs boiling. It never fails.

I am the only idiot here? Like turning on the faucet at full strength with a spoon turned up directly under the water and I get a soaking.

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  1. Turning on the wrong burner on the stove. Went through a few of those metal burner covers and then gave up on them. In my brother's house, the rule is remove all the burner covers no matter which burner you are using.

    Pouring the flour in too fast while the mixer is going. Poof! but speaking of the mixer, I haven't yet made butter out of whipping cream. Saw that once at work with about 10 liters of cream. What a mess.

    10 Replies
    1. re: Sooeygun

      I placed a plastic bowl of pancake batter on one electric burner and turned on the burner under the skillet. Or so I though. The bottom of the bowl started smoking. I snatched it away. The bottom of the bowl stayed on the burner, the rest of the bowl came away and pancake batter went everywhere. What a mess.

      1. re: Antilope

        That makes my brain hurt just to think about it. When I was a kid, my parents went out and left my great-uncle in charge of me. I decided to make candy. I put the sugar etc in a pan on the electric stove and LEFT THE KITCHEN to go watch TV. (My great-uncle was in another part of the house at the time.) Quite a while later, the smell of smoke brought us both running. Burnt caramel everywhere...lucky I didn't set the house on fire. My great-uncle cleaned everything up before the parents got home but the smell lingered and I caught it, big time. (Some of the caramel lingered, too - everything looked clean but some would ooze out from the burner whenever it was turned on.)

        1. re: buttertart

          My sister in law got a new kitchen that way. Teenager, french fries, pot of oil, cute firement, new kitchen. Not a bad deal in the end.

          1. re: julesincoq

            My neighbour also did that and got a visit and lecture from the fire engine crew. Big bill from the city arrived later.

            1. re: steve8rox

              And they wonder why people are waiting till too late or for their neighbors to call 911.

      2. re: Sooeygun

        My cousin recently related how she put the kettle on to heat water for tea or coffee, went into the living room for a few minutes to talk to husband and kids, then heard a loud bang followed by an acrid smell. Turned out, she'd turned on the wrong burner, the one under a glass pan of brownies baked the night before. Pan shattered, leaving brownies to burn on the burner.

        1. re: Caitlin McGrath

          Hah! I did that, but with a glass baking pan full of sticky bqq sauced baked pork chops! The glass bits were everywhere, hanging from the ceiling even because of the sticky now caramelized sauce.

          1. re: Caitlin McGrath

            Buy her an electric kettle for Christmas. It does not take up space on the counter, is extremely fast and turns itself off when it reaches a boil

            1. re: Candy

              Candy, I am a big fan of electric kettles, and use one myself. I love how fast they are.

              1. re: Caitlin McGrath

                I bought my parents one, it stood on a base. They put the top part onto the burner. Still a funny family story

          1. re: southernitalian

            I did that too after coming into the kitchen from quick run to the market. And my wallet in the fridge.

            1. re: jmckee

              Better than leaving the food in the car! I have opened the fridge and found a box of cereal someone stuck in along with the milk, which is, again, better than stick the milk in the cupboard in error.

              1. re: Caitlin McGrath

                Oh, I've done that with the milk and the cupboard. Not a nice smell...

                1. re: Caitlin McGrath

                  My mother left a whole, fresh durian in the trunk of her new BMW once for an entire afternoon.

                  In Los Angeles.

                  In July.

                  Sure got rid of that new car smell quick.

                  1. re: Pei

                    My eyes are watering! That must have hurt, badly!

                    1. re: Pei

                      Did the same thing at the swap meet in Wailuku on Maui. Fortunately it was a rental car.

                      1. re: Pei

                        Durian? I felt bad when a guy I had hired temporarily left his bad take out container in my brand hew car! YOU WIN!!!!

                        1. re: Pei

                          Whew! Did she have to take the car to southeat Asia to sell it?

                    2. re: southernitalian

                      wow, I'm not alone after all. it was the fridge, but same thing. that is so nice to know.

                      1. re: southernitalian

                        I do that ON PURPOSE!!
                        I put my keys in the fridge--on my lunch---so I don't forget it!!! ;)

                      2. I once burned myself after taking a cast iron fry pan out of the oven (with oven mitts) and then forgetting later that the handle was still very, very hot and trying to pick it up. Now I wrap the hot handle with a dishcloth both to remind me and to protect my hands!

                        23 Replies
                        1. re: ms. clicquot

                          "I ONCE burned myself after taking a cast iron fry pan..." ? I do that weekly.

                          Seriously, if I'm cooking on the stovetop and the pan handle is burning hot, I wrap it in crumpled aluminum foil. It shields the heat and won't burn.

                          1. re: shortribsfordinner

                            I know that certain of our potholders need to be doubled, and always feel the pain when I forget.

                            1. re: shortribsfordinner

                              Can't understand the science. Aluminum is a good conductor of heat. Maybe the crumpling creates pockets of air as insulation.

                              This ole English professor always reaches for the heavy-duty oven mitts. Cheap insurance for personal safety.

                              1. re: steve8rox

                                "crumpling creates pockets of air as insulation."

                                Wow, I don't think so, (laughing) maybe shortribs is crumpling a good 1-2 inches thickness around the handle. Yes, that why oven mitts were invented!

                            2. re: ms. clicquot

                              Cast iron I don't have a problem with since I assume the handle is hot no matter how it was heated. It's the stainless pans that went into the oven that I have made this mistake with. Only happened twice. Once real bad. Thank goodness I haven't fallen for the same mistake more than twice.

                              1. re: scubadoo97

                                I wish I would learn...anytime I put a stainless pan into the oven (to finish roasting a pan steak, for example) I always forget it was just in the oven.......... ARGH. The worst is when I'll do it twice in the same night!

                              2. re: ms. clicquot

                                Another thing I have trained myself to do (after doing this a couple of times myself, not terribly badly) is to put a handle-sleeve potholder on the stovetop as soon as I put the skillet in the oven, ready for when it comes out.

                                1. re: buttertart

                                  And then you may accidentally turn on the stove or lay it on the burner you just used and set fire to the potholder... sorry, I couldn't resist.
                                  People do, however lay flammables on stoves; especially bad when it's electric.

                                  1. re: Scargod

                                    Jeez...I meant on the (gas) stovetop between the burners, the flat metal part that doesn't get that hot. It's there and ready to go when the skillet comes out. There are silicone ones available that are even less flammable than the insulated cloth ones I have.

                                    1. re: buttertart

                                      I have a small toaster oven that I often cook small dishes in. It sits on the rear grill burner off on the left side of my old six burner (electric), Jenn-Air. I never grill inside unless I absolutely must!
                                      People not familiar with the stove top often turn on one of those burners by mistake. The saving feature is the fan starts running loudly and they freak out, knowing they have made a mistake. One day someone may melt down the toaster.

                                      1. re: Scargod

                                        Toaster ovens can be extremely dangerous. I once made garlic bread, maybe heavy on the butter, and it literally burst into flames. Now I frequently check on anything in it. I hope EVERYONE has a fire extinguisher in their kitchen.

                                        1. re: Veggo

                                          Good reminder - and for people who don't already, or if (like mine) yours is really old and you're not sure it would work - they now sell small ones, that look like an aerosol whipped cream can, for about $15. Wouldn't put out a huge blaze, but good insurance.

                                          1. re: Veggo

                                            I know I do - because it fell out of my cupboard onto my toe last week, discharging as it went.

                                            Only I could make a fire extinguisher dangerous.

                                        2. re: buttertart

                                          My grandmother had lit so many paper plates, pot holders and dish towels on fire my laying them on the stove and then lighting a burner. She has a gas stove also. This is in addition to many many burned teakettles that didn't have water in them or that she let boil dry. I never but anything flammable on the stove top and always check my kettle before turning it on.
                                          One of my goofs is some how burning my tummy on hot cookie sheets. I've done it several times and never have been able to figure out how. It isn't like I cook naked.

                                            1. re: carollins83

                                              im guessing you are leaning over the cookie sheet further than you think you are. a t-shirt or other thin clothing won't prevent the heat from going thru to the skin.

                                              1. re: carollins83

                                                One of my cardinal rules: Do not cook bacon while shirtless. (Unless you want your belly to look like it has chicken pox.)

                                                  1. re: LabLady

                                                    That is brilliant! So much so that I'm going to repost it in its own thread, it deserves to be seen.

                                                1. re: carollins83

                                                  My parents always boiled water in kettles until they were dry and unusable. So I bought them a very lovely electric kettle from WS that turned off automatically. IT had a base and the kettle sat on top of it. Needless to say one day they put the kettle on the stove to heat the water! My father ran out to buy a new one immediately as they didn't want me to find out what idiots they had been. That lasted until I saw the box for the new kettle, then they 'fessed up.

                                                  I myself have a lovely wool pan handle cover that's sleek enough to leave on the pan while it's on the stove. This saves my hands from my stupidity. :)

                                          1. re: ms. clicquot

                                            Knock wood, I haven't burned myself YET like that but come really, really close.

                                            1. re: ms. clicquot

                                              In professional kitchens where I've worked, the general rule was to sprinkle some flour on the handle of skillets which were hot. It sounds silly, but seeing flour on a handle makes you stop for that split second it takes to think: that's funny; what's that on this skillet? oh wait - that means it's hot!

                                              Especially important in environments where you are cooking with others, but I find it works well at home when it's just me, too. Wrapping cloths around skillet handles is a good way to set a cloth on fire (you forget about it when you return the skillet to the stove, but the flame sure as hell doesn't)

                                              1. re: Gooseberry

                                                I have fallen for a number of kitchen gadgets that weren't worthwhile, but the silicone pot-handle sleeve is a winner. It's even red, to further drive home its importance. It lives in a drawer right next to the stove, so there's no stepping away from the pot to go get the sleeve, then getting distracted and doing something else. But I have to add that I did not buy it until I'd already burned my hand twice by failing to mark the hot handle in some way.

                                                If you have a spare flat square potholder, you can just fold it and stitch the side opposite the fold closed. Needle and thread, or even staples, will suffice if you don't have, or know someone who has, a sewing machine.

                                            2. Not me, but I know someone who threw flour on a pan fire, thinking since it looked like baking soda, it would smother the flames. Instead, the fire roared up and caused a lot of damage.

                                              In cooking school, a student measured out a cupful of rum extract for rumballs instead of a capful.

                                              I've several times added salt instead of sugar. As in 1/4 cup or more. I don't know why I have that mental block. My daughter stopped me just as I was about to dump it in. She thinks I'm developing early senility now.

                                              Hiding flammables in the oven when company comes over and forgetting it's there when preheating the oven. (not me, a friend, really).

                                              6 Replies
                                              1. re: shortribsfordinner

                                                a friend of mine preheated her oven when a bunch of us went for a potluck then we got a whiff of burning plastic - she had forgotten to take out the plastic covered owner's manual and the plastic cover around the grill pan - apparently she had never used her oven before in 6 years!!!!

                                                1. re: shortribsfordinner

                                                  A friend helped me clean up after a party once. A week later i turned on the oven, and twenty minutes later an odd smelll led me to figure out where my crock pot had been carefully placed by well meaning friend who believes that all cooking is actually done in a microwave ("you mean you actually USE your oven?").

                                                  As for the microwave I often wrap tortillas in a damp towel and microwave them for under a minute. I don't have any idea what I was thinking when i put the damp towel wrapped tortillas in my friend's toaster oven. We discussed making mole, but went out for dinner instead.

                                                  1. re: KaimukiMan

                                                    Sounds like the people from whom I bought my house. When we did the initial walk-through, the realtor casually opened the dishwasher and we found cereal boxes, bags of pasta, trash bags, etc. Guess they were "by hand" dishwashers.

                                                    1. re: cuccubear

                                                      We discovered the same (plus some old wood scraps) in the dishwasher when we did the walk through! Turned out they had never used it and the wood was from the previous owners. I thought it was a freak incident...crazy.

                                                      1. re: emmaroseeats

                                                        There was also what I called “the fake oven”, until I removed it. It was a wall unit oven, and unusable as it had been disconnected from the electricity. Didn’t look into it during the walk through, but after buying the house, found empty bread bags and some bottle caps inside. Perplexing.

                                                      2. re: cuccubear

                                                        Our dishwasher is full of dog food, toys and other canine accessories. It is a portable dishwasher that was left in our repo house. We assumed it didn't work and I didn't want to have to roll it to the sink for dishwashing. I do pull it out when I'm rolling dough, perfect for that.

                                                        And I'm the dishwasher. DW does laundry and puts away dishes.

                                                  2. Oh that ain't so bad.....when I first started baking my own bread I pulled some boners! A recipe for French bread directed that I place a pan in the oven to heat so I could pour water in it when the loaves were loaded to create the ideal steamy environment for crisp crust. I was really jazzed about this attempt because I had the perfect rise and I just knew I was finally going to be successful. I put my loaves in and carefully poured water into my hot pan.......my hot PYREX pan! My language waxed "colourful" ( as my mom would say ) as I picked out the hot blue shards from my oven and dumped two beautiful mounds of dough into the garbage.

                                                    3 Replies
                                                    1. re: calliopethree

                                                      I've done the same thing with the pyrex pan... twice.

                                                      1. re: calliopethree

                                                        I did the very same thing about a month ago. I had a chicken roasting on a rack above my pyrex dish. I had put some water in the bottom of the dish initially, but it had all evaporated, and so I tried to add some more. BOOM! So the chicken was a loss, my pan was a loss and I was stuck having to do three of my most hated kitchen tasks, cleaning up broken glass, cleaning the overn and cleaning the floor.

                                                        1. re: gmm

                                                          Reminds me of when I was 11 or so and I decided to clean the dusty light bulbs in the kitchen chandelier by spraying windex on the bulbs *while they were on*. Spectacular to say the least.

                                                      2. Cumin instead of Cinnamon once made for a very "different" baked apple.

                                                        10 Replies
                                                        1. re: grampart

                                                          My dad used to eat oatmeal with cinnamon for breakfast and once mixed up the cinnamon with cayenne pepper.

                                                          1. re: Fromageball

                                                            I once mixed up the cayenne and paprika while cooking Chicken Paprika. So much for my pretty, colored spice jars that I didn't label ( ruin the look ), and cause I would just know what is what.LOL

                                                            1. re: beekeroc

                                                              I don't label either, for the same ruined-look reason, but do the sniff test first for just about all spices of the same color, unless I'm absolutely sure I know what they are.

                                                              (Insert picture of nose full of cayenne pepper and tearing eyes, violent coughing, etc. here.)

                                                              1. re: bushwickgirl

                                                                I put small labels (often just the 1-inch dots) on the lids of the jars, thus labeling them without marring the look of the jars themselves.

                                                                1. re: Caitlin McGrath

                                                                  +1, thanks for the tip. I actually have some small decorative labels sent to me by the spice company. Next rainy day, I'll start the project.

                                                                  The cayenne thing was a joke, BTW. I've gotten pretty good at staying clear of the venomous spices.

                                                                  1. re: bushwickgirl

                                                                    I use the little dots on the bottoms of my spice jars. No one sees them and I know where to look to see what the heck the herby looking thing is. Doing the sniff test alwys reminds me that if I can't tell what it is, it probably isn't so fresh anymore. :-)

                                                                    1. re: julesincoq

                                                                      Great idea !!! Thanx.

                                                                      I'll use on lots of stuff in the fridge too. This ole English professor always sez I know what this leftover liquid etc. is and, a week or two later, " What the heck is this awful smelling and looking crap !! "

                                                                      1. re: steve8rox

                                                                        I have sharpies in many many colours for marking things around the kitchen. They include a silver metallic one for marking the bottom of dark coloured canisters, spice jars, etc. The goof was from my SO though that got me to buy this particular pen. He used a cup of whole wheat flour instead of cornmeal to try and make polenta. Lets just say he made play dough that burned onto the bottom of the sauce pan.

                                                          2. re: grampart

                                                            I did the exact same thing with an apple pie when I was twelve. It was actually kinda sad, because I was SO PROUD OF MYSELF that I made an apple pie, all by myself and all from scratch... and then it tasted like cumin.

                                                            I'm all grown up now, but my mama still gives me crap about how I looked like I was gonna cry after tasted that pie. And people wonder why I let my roommate do all the baking and stick to cooking. :)

                                                            1. re: grampart

                                                              SAME here!! I was making struddel and started sprinkling the cumin instead of cinnamon - thankfully I caught it and put cinnamon in. At that point it smelled a bit odd, more like a savoury tajine or something than a sweet dessert.

                                                              It was ok though.

                                                            2. When making chicken stock, I have on several occasions pour the stock down the drain when straining it. I now use Kitchen Basics in the yellow box.

                                                              7 Replies
                                                              1. re: Janet from Richmond

                                                                Been there, done that. My DH likes to be frugal. He has to make stock, there is no stopping him. I have 3-4 of KB on the pantry shelf. The homemade stock sits in the fridge, usually uncovered and gets pitched after a week. Especially in the summer.

                                                                1. re: Candy

                                                                  OMG!!!! NO SUBSTITUTE for homemade stock!!!! Freeze it!!!!

                                                                2. re: Janet from Richmond

                                                                  aww Janet, you just reminded me of something from my childhood, and a oft-repeated family story. When we were all young, and my sister older than I in charge of some stuff after school leading up to supper, she was left a note to "strain the soup" before moving on to next step. She was supposed to reserve the broth by straining the bones etc out. Instead, she put a strainer in the sink, and proceeded to pour the broth down the sink.

                                                                  1. re: im_nomad

                                                                    Been there and done that...again and again.....

                                                                    1. re: im_nomad

                                                                      sounds like an Amelia Bedelia story!

                                                                    2. re: Janet from Richmond

                                                                      I have done that, too. It's the worst!
                                                                      But there's still nothing as good as home made stock...

                                                                    3. Leaving the oven on after taking something out of it - or a burner on low under an empty pan. I have trained myself to look at the dials and say off off off off off (4 burners and 1 oven dial) before leaving the kitchen. This was my best friend's (sainted) mother's trick so I also say "thank you Mrs Turner" thereafter!

                                                                      9 Replies
                                                                      1. re: buttertart

                                                                        I do the off, off, off, off, off thing and add an off for the lights when I leave the kitchen. Annoying to be sitting eating dinner and suddenly think 'what's that smell' as something burns on the stove.

                                                                        1. re: buttertart

                                                                          buttertart, you know I love ya, so I hope you won't mind if I chuckle and say I remember hearing people say "off off off off" on some sort of "60 Minutes" clip about OCD-behavior. And I laugh only because, disorder or not, I think many of us on this site have these tendencies (I am one). But I think it makes us special! ;) And as long as our "specialness" isn't getting in the way with everyday life, what's the matter with a little O and C here and there?!

                                                                          I have a cooktop electric stove and am prone to turn on the larger burner ring rather than the smaller one for reasons I simply don't understand...same for turning on rear instead of front. I'd blame morning brain, but I think it happens at night sometimes, too. ;)

                                                                          Dumbest kitchen trick: putting my cat's medication (sprinkled capsule for arthritis) into my tea instead of her dish. DOHHHH! Wastes her meds and screws up my tea with tuna-flavored goodness. Talk about a double-whammy!

                                                                          I once set my oven on fire while making a strudel. Haven't revisited that idea since.

                                                                          1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                            Likewise Kattyeyes! No offense taken - some compulsively repetitive behaviors (like reading and posting on Chowhound for example) are very fulfilling!
                                                                            Re electric stoves: have only had one in our various kitchens, used to forget that the burners stayed hot for a while when off, have a souvenir burn on my French rolling pin and the impression of the burner rings on my (pb) copy of Classic Chinese Cooking by Nina Simonds. See those and am transported to 2 not so terribly fun-filled years in a college town in far upstate NY (where we moved - from Berkeley - for my husband's first teaching job, positions in his field being very thin on the ground that year).

                                                                            1. re: buttertart

                                                                              <<some compulsively repetitive behaviors (like reading and posting on Chowhound for example) are very fulfilling!>>

                                                                              Couldn't agree with you more!

                                                                              Speaking of burns...I won't say this is idiotic, and I hate to say it was funny, but it was. April has been known to jump up on the counter. Cats do what they please, as you well know. We generally discourage her, but that's not to say she doesn't get up there when we're not around. Well, anyway, the electric cooktop has a red light indicator to let you know when it's still warm, but that means nothing to a feline. One morning, it happened so fast, she literally did not know what happened, but up she hopped onto the still hot cooktop, and retreated just as quickly. It was a scene straight out of Looney Tunes. I felt bad, but it was funny (and she was fine).

                                                                              1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                Poor kitty! Poor you! (But it must have been funny.)

                                                                                1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                  I can't count the number of cat toys I have mutilated in the garbage disposal. They apparently love to play in the sink when we're not there. I guess I should put some sort of cover over it.

                                                                                  1. re: cycloneillini

                                                                                    Without knowing it once, after blind-baking a pie shell, I dropped a couple of pie weights down the disposal.

                                                                                    Result: new disposal.

                                                                            2. re: buttertart

                                                                              I painted red marks on the "Off' positions of the dials so I can more easily glance at them and tell they're all on the off position. Of course, I still have to remember to glance at them, but it does help.

                                                                            3. Mine truly is idiotic. I was making soup in the slow-cooker...instead of actually turning the thing on, i turned it on warm...hours later, i heard the crunch of a potato coming from my husband's mouth, walked over to the slow-cooker, and realized the uncooked soup had been warming the entire time.

                                                                              4 Replies
                                                                              1. re: iluvtennis

                                                                                I've done this so so many times when making rice (which is an almost daily occurence at my house)...I have the rice all washed and ready and put it in the rice cooker and forget to press cook. Hours later...Yuck.

                                                                                1. re: soypower

                                                                                  kind of done that with coffee maker...poured water in; pressed "on" but forgot to put the coffee in! done it with laundry in the opposite direction: put in the clothes, started the machine without putting in the soap...neither were life-shattering events but definitely goofy!

                                                                                2. re: iluvtennis

                                                                                  I have a similar story though it was not completly my fault.

                                                                                  I prepped the night before to make chili and the slow cooker so that all I had to do the next morning was take it out of the fridge and plug it in. I did that, and turned it to the correct setting, and went to work.

                                                                                  Got home 10 hours later - Cold, raw beef mixture! The slow cooker was broken. I had to throw it all away since it sat out so long.

                                                                                  1. re: iluvtennis

                                                                                    I use my slow cooker frequently to cook beans - soak overnight then set up to cook while I'm at work. Last night I went ahead and put the slow cooker on the counter and plugged it in. This morning I reached for a cereal bowl and realized that corner of the kitchen was very warm. I hadn't noticed the night before that the slow cooker was set to low instead of off and it had been heating the empty crock all night. Thank goodness nothing happened...

                                                                                  2. It's nice to know I am not alone!

                                                                                    I set fire to a lovely silk flower arrangement. It was resting on a countertop range at a friend's home. I turned on the wrong burner (out of six) and it went up while I was cutting vegetables. Needless to say, the next time we were at that house, someone *else* cooked.

                                                                                    I am also familiar with the shame and frustration of dumping nearly a whole pot of good chicken stock down the sink!

                                                                                    Lately, I tend to burn myself because I'm not cautious. Pot and pan handles are usually what I burn myself on. It's because I hurry too much in the kitchen.

                                                                                    4 Replies
                                                                                    1. re: shaogo

                                                                                      Twice, recently, I turned the garbage disposal on without looking at it closely. Spoons don't grind well (and it makes a god-awful racket).

                                                                                      1. re: nvcook

                                                                                        My mother was bad about that. It really hurts when it is sterling. After a dinner party, my disposer is never run 'nor the garbage taken out until I have accounted for all of the silver (or stainless for that matter) is accounted for.

                                                                                        1. re: Candy

                                                                                          My grandmother always did that too. But once she had a dinner guest who took offense -- she thought my grandmother was checking to see if she'd stolen the silver! But it's a good habit to make sure silver didn't get accidentally dumped in the trash!

                                                                                        2. re: nvcook

                                                                                          An old roommate used to say "I made another grapefruit spoon" when she found a spoon in the disposal.

                                                                                      2. Yesterday while pulling the food processor bowl out of the pantry, an can of PAM hit me in the head... when putting the bowl back - it fell again and, yes, hit me in the head and landed on my toes as an extra bonus.

                                                                                        I always forget I have a really large Le Crueset dutch oven in my lower oven - just when I'm ready to put something in there, pre-heated naturally, I discover my smoking hot Le Crueset...

                                                                                        I used to burn pot holders on a regular basis until I finally got a gas cooktop. ;-)

                                                                                        6 Replies
                                                                                        1. re: Cookiefiend

                                                                                          I'm so sorry...but the physical comedy aspect cracked me right up. I hope no one was in the room to witness the PAM incident, because, dammit, you know it looked funny and it would have just added insult to injury to have someone laughing at your misfortune. ;)

                                                                                          1. re: Cookiefiend

                                                                                            With me, the PAM hits me on the head and the cap falls off. When it hits the floor the nozzle breaks and it sprays continuously as it rolls across the kitchen floor!

                                                                                            1. re: Cookiefiend

                                                                                              After years of wanting one, I finally received an 8 quart red Le Creuset dutch oven from my wife and son for Christmas a few years back.

                                                                                              Less than two months later (time enough to do a soup, a stew, and chicken and dumplings in it), I turned on the burner to high early in the morning to boil water for my son's oatmeal before school. The burner I turned on was the one beneath my lovely dutch oven. Which was ruined.

                                                                                              1. re: jmckee

                                                                                                About 20 years ago i had a house fire. Some of my LC was right in the middle of the fire. It was black. I sprayed the pieces with oven cleaner and let them sit over night. They came clean and I am still using them. I hope you did not dispose that pot.

                                                                                                1. re: Candy

                                                                                                  The heat caused the enamel to flake off, so yeah, it's no longer a cooking pot.

                                                                                                  1. re: jmckee

                                                                                                    Our kitchen accidents become pencil cups and dog bowls. ;-)

                                                                                            2. Those egg timers just don't make enough noise when the sand has run out.

                                                                                              I have been known to forget to put water in the pan when using the steamer basket, as has my husband. It's obvious when one looks at that pan...

                                                                                              1 Reply
                                                                                              1. re: lgss

                                                                                                true, especially if you have wandered off to go online, or have music playing, that "ding" is easily missed. I need one of those kitchen timers that hang around your neck. I've had a couple of "oh sh*t" and *runs to kitchen* moments.

                                                                                              2. I sometimes (like last night) have the lid of the water filter pitcher fall off when I'm measuring water over the pressure cooker so that I have no idea how much water ended up in the lentil soup.

                                                                                                I've also dropped the sieve when I'm draining the pasta over a not so clean sink, spilling the pasta.

                                                                                                1. Recently:
                                                                                                  Used a towel that was unknowingly kinda damp to remove a pan from the oven. Gahhh!!
                                                                                                  Forgot how spicy "chinese ketchup" can be.
                                                                                                  Forgot how quickly the oven broiler works when toasting hamburger buns.
                                                                                                  Doubted my steak-cooking ability and used my own to test the doneness (it was indeed perfectly cooked, but I ruined it by checking. mehhh)

                                                                                                  My sister's more memorable recent goof:
                                                                                                  Using bittersweet instead of semisweet chocolate in a cake recipe. Oof!!

                                                                                                  5 Replies
                                                                                                  1. re: KayceeK

                                                                                                    its not just hamburger buns in the broiler. how garlic bread can go from the unmelted butter stage to burnt to a crisp in the time it takes to check on the spaghetti sauce is one of the great mysteries of all time.

                                                                                                    1. re: KaimukiMan

                                                                                                      I find nuts in the same category. I don't even leave the kitchen anymore when browning nuts. And I learned a long time ago if you can smell the almonds/pinenuts, they are already burnt.

                                                                                                      1. re: Sooeygun

                                                                                                        You need a more sensitive nose! How hot is your oven? Nuts are best toasted at 300-325F, any hotter and they don't toast evenly and start expressing their oils.

                                                                                                    2. re: KayceeK

                                                                                                      "Forgot how quickly the oven broiler works when toasting hamburger buns."

                                                                                                      lol, my b/f jokes he only knows i'm cooking if something catches on fire or the smoke alarm goes off.

                                                                                                      1. re: KayceeK

                                                                                                        I ALWAYS use bittersweet instead of semisweet - it always improves the recipe.

                                                                                                      2. Gosh, so many flubs, so little time.... Used baking powder instead of baking SODA for chocolate chip cookies-Yecch!! Spent 2 hours making a gorgeous loaf of red & yellow white bread from Silver Palate. Final proof in loaf pan covered w/ saran in a turned off oven- Partner goes to make lunch and puts oven on broil. 5 minutes later-what's that smell? Peeled of the molten plastic along with a third of the loaf and just made the best of it. It was like a flat melba toast after baking. I now tape a sign over the oven controls "Bread proofing in oven!!" adam

                                                                                                        2 Replies
                                                                                                        1. re: adamshoe

                                                                                                          Once, after leaving some liquer to cook down a bit too long after flambeeing it, I decied it would be best to test whether it had burned before I added it to the mixture I was making. I did this by sticking my finger into it and then stiking my finger into my mouth, forgetting that with all the water driven off by the overcooking I was basically sticking my finger into a pan full of molten sugar. Thak goodness I had already turned on the cold water (to wash out the pan if the stuff was burned) before I tried this so that I got away with a painful, but superficial burn on my finger tip.

                                                                                                          1. re: adamshoe

                                                                                                            used baking powder instead of baking soda in Irish soda bread. And turned out a nice new millstone after baking.

                                                                                                          2. I have numerous burns on my hands and arms from ovens etc. especially wet cloths.

                                                                                                            Not checking for secure lids before lifting heavy containers BY their lids, left me with a mess of kalamata olives galore all over my kitchen for months later, and that black greasy liquid was not easy to clean. I think i've done this more than once.

                                                                                                            I've reheated and left things in the microwave once or twice, only to discover them the next day.

                                                                                                            When I was little, I tried to reheat one of those pressed paper trays of leftover take out french fries on top of the stove; turned it on, placed the container on top of the burner, and promptly set it ablaze .

                                                                                                            When I was in university, I got up and went to make toast in the oven (we didn't have a toaster), and forgetting about it, went off to classes. The fire department was called in the interim, to deal with the smoke after all the alarms were going off. Room-mates were none too impressed. I didn't find out til I got home late at night.

                                                                                                            6 Replies
                                                                                                            1. re: im_nomad

                                                                                                              > [..] went to make toast in the oven

                                                                                                              I didn't call the fire dept this morning but the blackened Melba Toast that survived was inedible. I also set the smoke alarm off (which is what triggered the "Oh NO!!" adrenaline rush)... <sigh> My fitting "punishment" was waving a magazine under the smoke alarm until it went off and then "listening" to two hornet-stung teenangsters buzz me about waking them before they were ready to get up.

                                                                                                              1. re: The Ranger

                                                                                                                Teenagers? Asleep on a weekend morning? Surely you jest.

                                                                                                                My 15-year-old had some friends spend the night last night. After I made them breakfast (none of the friends had ever had biscuits and gravy), I filled the gravy pan with water and put it on the stove to soak. There was caked-on stuff clear to the rim, so I topped it off with another cup or two of water. Filled it right up.

                                                                                                                Of course, my stove is on the other side of the kitchen from the sink. Ever try to take a couple of steps carrying a hot cast-iron pan that's brimming with water?

                                                                                                                D'oh! Wet cleanup on Aisle 5.

                                                                                                                1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                  LOL! At least you didn't lose the gravy this way. =)

                                                                                                                  1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                    why is it we never think of bringing a pitcher of water to the stove until AFTER we have spilled everything out of the pan?

                                                                                                                    1. re: KaimukiMan

                                                                                                                      Hey, I thought I was being bright bringing the water to the stove. What I failed to plan for was getting the pan back to the sink!

                                                                                                                      Note to self: when remodeling the kitchen, do not install a pot filler.

                                                                                                                      1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                        my bad alan, have to read more carefully. of course if it were me, i would have filled the pan, set it to boil, then burned everything back on again, forgetting the pan as I wasn't actually cooking - not that i have ever done that of course.

                                                                                                              2. The ribbed capstan on my electric fruit juicer was getting a little grody underneath, so I put it in a pot of water with a little soap to boil it for a few minutes. I signed on to Chowhound and about an hour later the smoke detector went off. I had to throw out the pot and the juicer. And then my posts got deleted.

                                                                                                                2 Replies
                                                                                                                1. re: Veggo

                                                                                                                  Oh, seriously, the "And then my posts got deleted." made this comment a real winner in my book. I'm still laughing.

                                                                                                                  1. I've had my gas cooktop for almost four years now and I still always turn on the wrong burner. I no longer allow myself to set anything other than pots on the cooktop, just in case.

                                                                                                                    I've also started accidentally putting frozen items back into the fridge rather than the freezer. Every few months I'll open the fridge in the morning and see a pint of melted ice cream sitting on the top shelf. Sigh...I'm 40, isn't it too soon to be doing crap like this?

                                                                                                                    4 Replies
                                                                                                                    1. re: sebetti

                                                                                                                      Ever take the milk out of the fridge to reposition something and it doesn't make its way back to the fridge? Has happened with both milk and mayo in our house; don't feel bad. ;) I'm 40, too, and sadly assume this is just the beginning of doing stupid crap like this!

                                                                                                                      1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                        LOL!!
                                                                                                                        Oh I've been there!
                                                                                                                        I recently put a gallon of milk into the cubbard where I store my cat litter.
                                                                                                                        If this had occured AFTER I had used the milk - I wouldn't have found it for a day- I'm sure! But in fact I hadn't even used the milk yet!!!!!
                                                                                                                        I cursed myself but wasn't really surprised, and searched the entire apartment before finally finding it!
                                                                                                                        Welcome to my world!

                                                                                                                        My most famous kitchen mishap though happened when I was a wee one - I must have been 3 or 4, and my brother was making chocolate pudding. I was really curious so I got on the table and looked into the bowl. I had (still do) long curly hair.
                                                                                                                        Well a section of my hair got caught in the mixer and the next thing you know half the hair on the right side of my head was gone and I was covered in chocolate pudding!
                                                                                                                        Yikes!
                                                                                                                        I have a bunch of pictures of me from that year with hair from the left side of my head brushed over to the right...ala some bald men!

                                                                                                                        1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                          You had a kiddy comb-over! Laughing right along with you!!!

                                                                                                                          1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                            I just read the chocolate pudding entry aloud, and now my whole family is incapacitated by laughter.

                                                                                                                      2. My coffeemaker distributes coffee the same way the fridge distributes water - sometimes when I go for a cup of coffee, I put the mug under the water thing, and vise versa. I like to think I'm easily distracted.....

                                                                                                                        1. Preheating the oven without looking inside - doh! I frequently put herbs/bread/etc on a cookie sheet in the oven to dry out. Burned chamomile flowers smell absolutely horrid, btw.

                                                                                                                          As a kid I replaced the half the chocolate in a cake recipe with peanut butter because we ran out of chocolate. Shortribs - I once made a cake with salt instead of sugar - you should have seen my uncle's face.

                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                          1. re: emmaroseeats

                                                                                                                            Your baking experience as a kid reminds me of a cookie incident when I was young. I was attempting chocolate chip cookies, which are pretty straight forward. However, I wanted to double the recipe but my elementary math skills somehow halved the flour. I called the resulting disaster 'Chocolate Chip Window Cookies' because they were so thin you could see right through them!

                                                                                                                          2. Ever used wax paper instead of parchment? I did once and smoked cookies are not very good.

                                                                                                                            If my butter is not at room temp I’ll often set it on a plate on the stove while the oven heats up. On one occasion, by the time I had measured and seasoned and combined all the dry ingredients, two sticks of butter had completely melted, running over the plate and all over the stove top. Good thing there were no children around...for blocks!

                                                                                                                            But wait, there’s more...
                                                                                                                            http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/5390...

                                                                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                                                                            1. When I was young, around nine, I had to do chores when I got home from school. I really wanted to watch Felix the Cat or Slam Bang Theater (and the Three Stooges or the Little Rascals). I had to wash dishes one afternoon so I started running hot water in the sink. It was so loud I closed the door into the kitchen. I'm watching cartoons and then I start seeing a wall of water approaching me across the hardwood floors. The plywood flooring in the kitchen was ruined, and my butt when my mom got home.
                                                                                                                              It was also not uncommon, at that age, to burn the hell out of beans or potatoes when they went unattended and ran out of water. Talk about stinky!

                                                                                                                              1. We have an "48 Wedgwood stove. When it's cold in the winter and we are baking something in the oven it's so nice and warm to stand next to it and chat with my SO with a glass of wine. Usually in my nightshirt and wool socks. Well those little drip trays that pull out get pretty hot and I have a bad habit of bumping into them! I have two nice little burn scars on each thigh to remind me NO bare thighs in the kitchen for me.

                                                                                                                                2 Replies
                                                                                                                                1. re: PurpleTeeth

                                                                                                                                  Many women who dated bikers have the same reminder, but on the calves...

                                                                                                                                  1. re: Veggo

                                                                                                                                    right, from the exhaust! I think of my scars as love bites from Mrs Wedgewood. She more than makes up for it!

                                                                                                                                2. I've managed to do quite a few of the boneheaded things mentioned above, and have plenty of broken crockery and minor scars to go along with the electric-coil-shaped burn on the back of The Joy of Cooking. But the prize has to go to my grandfather. He was an avid cook his entire life, despite a number of mishaps.

                                                                                                                                  He must have been in his early teens when he decided he wanted to make popcorn balls. He knew how to pop popcorn and make simple syrup, so how hard could it be, right? He made a big batch of popcorn and boiled up a quart or two of syrup, then called his younger brother, Phil, into the kitchen.

                                                                                                                                  He asked Phil to hold the popcorn while he applied the syrup.

                                                                                                                                  Phil thought it would be a better idea if those roles were reversed.

                                                                                                                                  As Phil poured the syrup, my granddad found out that sugar syrup doesn't just get a lot hotter than boiling water, it sticks like glue.

                                                                                                                                  When the bandages came off, he was right back in the kitchen.

                                                                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                                                                  1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                    LOL and cheers to your granddad (and your very smart Uncle Phil)! ;)

                                                                                                                                  2. Unsuccessfully juggle knives and wine glasses.

                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                    1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                                                                                                                      On the subject of knives...

                                                                                                                                      I received an very nice set of knives and a present from a former employee. It came with a steel, a cleaver, two different chefs, two slicers, a bread knife, a boning knife, a utility knife, a paring knife, kitchen scissors and six steak knives......a great everyday set in an attractive butcher block holder.

                                                                                                                                      Some how I lost the paring knife.....and some how I walked away from the the stove with the cutting board and Large Chef's knife right next to a flame with a cast iron fry pan on top preheating.....and you guessed it, I burned the handle on the knife I use most in the set. My kitchen smelled awful for days from the burning smell.

                                                                                                                                    2. not in the kitchen, but last week I ordered dinner for takeout at a local restaurant. After giving my order to the server, I paid the bill and returned to my car. I was planning on waiting in my car, but instead started up the car and drove home.

                                                                                                                                      Wasn't until I got home that I realized I forgot the food.

                                                                                                                                      3 Replies
                                                                                                                                      1. re: burlgurl

                                                                                                                                        Really?! That is the best laugh I have had in a long time...Thank you!

                                                                                                                                        1. re: bermudagourmetgoddess

                                                                                                                                          oh, very true...I ordered at a place right by work and home is a good 20 minutes away.

                                                                                                                                        2. re: burlgurl

                                                                                                                                          oh man. That sounds JUST like something I'd do.

                                                                                                                                        3. The first and last time my dad bought box wine, he opened it with a knife, punctured the plastic inside, and had to quickly grab bowls and measuring cups to catch the wine glugging out onto the counter. My mom was amused.

                                                                                                                                          1. I recently added baking soda instead of cornstarch to a cherry pie filling. I was quite surprised when it started fizzing like mad.

                                                                                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                                                                                            1. I can't even tell you the number of times I've poured myself a cup of coffee first thing in the morning, added my cream and sugar, taken a sip, and discovered that I'm drinking hot, sweet, creamy water.

                                                                                                                                              I forget to add the freaking coffee!!!

                                                                                                                                              8 Replies
                                                                                                                                              1. re: tzurriz

                                                                                                                                                I've done that on a few sleep-deprived mornings. Then I throw dirty laundry into the toilet instead of the hamper.

                                                                                                                                                1. re: Glencora

                                                                                                                                                  I'm still howling at this one! oh, I have to pee......

                                                                                                                                                2. re: tzurriz

                                                                                                                                                  My niece made a lat PM stop fot milk for their coffee the next AM. She was not paying attention, she can be a bit of a ditz. Next AM made the coffee and poured in her milk and spat it out immediately. She had bought buttermilk. I don't even want to think about how that must have tasted.

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Candy

                                                                                                                                                    Add some salt and you'll be getting closer to yak butter (not my cup of) tea.

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                                                                                                                                        Oh yeah, done several things. I was only 13 and mt Dad asked me to put on a pot of coffee for him and Mom. One of those pyrex stove-top jobbies. Did so, went out, came home, Dad said "that was a GREAT pot of coffee!" I beamed until he said, "yeah, you forgot the water and the pot exploded all over the kitchen!" Du-oh!
                                                                                                                                                        Then there was the time I put a pan of scalloped potatoes in the oven. As I was putting them in, the oven door closed on my upper arms, and there was no way I was dropping the pan-- what a mess that would be to clean! My hubby heard me hollering, but not before I had 2 nice burns OW!! And then, there was that time I found my dainties in the chest freezer........

                                                                                                                                                        1. re: spazita

                                                                                                                                                          I often put my sun glasses in the fridge. I keep them on my head most of the time and then when I lean over in the fridge for water they slid down so I take them off and set them on the shelf in the fridge. Now if I miss place them my SO goes straight to the fridge to check.

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: tzurriz

                                                                                                                                                      LOL I used to do that back when I had the drip coffee machine, but I never quite made it to drinking it. I always managed to look in the cup first.

                                                                                                                                                    2. been known to cook, including deep fry, naked.

                                                                                                                                                      6 Replies
                                                                                                                                                      1. re: ScubaSteve

                                                                                                                                                        that is truly idiotic!! thanks for the giggle.

                                                                                                                                                        1. re: smartie

                                                                                                                                                          i Know. but sumtimes i want French Fries during naked time.

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: ScubaSteve

                                                                                                                                                            Wow, I am nervous about exposing my naked toes in sandals while deep frying. You're really out there.

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: pikawicca

                                                                                                                                                              'out there' is a polite phrase for what i am.
                                                                                                                                                              some would say i'm a bit of a Looney.

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: pikawicca

                                                                                                                                                                LOL, "out there" indeed...in more ways than we should articulate here.

                                                                                                                                                        2. Am I the only one who uses the blender to spray the kitchen ceiling with scalding hot liquids? Along with every other surface in a six foot range? And myself? Will I ever learn?

                                                                                                                                                          I also confess to diggin around in the chest freezer, setting a package or two off to the side, and neglecting to replace them for several days. Ugh.

                                                                                                                                                          9 Replies
                                                                                                                                                          1. re: kmr

                                                                                                                                                            or repacking the freezer badly like trying to shove something back in and next time you open the door it falls on your foot?

                                                                                                                                                            my other stupid 'favourite' is to open a can and use a finger to prise off the top cutting finger in the process.

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: smartie

                                                                                                                                                              I think I've got you all topped, I once microwaved my socks, on purpose!

                                                                                                                                                              I had stepped in a puddle of water while preparing my lunch and as I didnt have time to go up to my room and find another pair (our housecleaners were coming any second, and once they got there I pretty much had to go somewhere out of the way and hide till they left.) so I thought, "It's just water if I micro them for a minute the water will evaporate and I can put them on again. so it put them in turned the micro on and left to room to go to the bathroom. when i came back the room was full of smoke. Upon opening the microwave I found that it had not only dired my socks it had incinerated them (I'm serios they had literally tuned into glowing embers) fortunely the microwave itself was not damaged, so all that was needed was to scrub the soot out of the insides and open the windowsm to let the smoke out. Unfortunely when the cleaning staff arrived mid cleanup, they deicded to help me get the windows open and unfamilar with "bug screens" pulled those up as well, which meant I then had to spend twently minutes outside chasing down the cat who had taken advantage of the situation.

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: jumpingmonk

                                                                                                                                                                THANK YOU...I have not laughed that hard in a long time. And I'm sorry to laugh at your unfortunate chain of events, but THAT WAS HYSTERICAL!

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: jumpingmonk

                                                                                                                                                                  When I was in college living in the dorms we frequently had a fire alarms in the wee hours, usually because someone was drunk/bored and decided to pull the alarm. After each alarm the housing staff sent an email to all residents in the building explaining the cause of the alarm. One day after a 3am on one of the coldest nights of the year we received the alarm cause email - one of my neighbors had microwaved his socks because he was up late studying and his feet were cold. After that one the communal kitchens were closed for a few weeks.

                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: jumpingmonk

                                                                                                                                                                    Our daughter did this, also. The socks burned and we could never get the burned smell out of the microwave. We had to buy a new one.

                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: jumpingmonk

                                                                                                                                                                      Ahhhh the BBQ grill, where things come out charbroiled whether you intended that or not. I just say, "I meant to cook it that way". ;-)

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: jumpingmonk

                                                                                                                                                                        Perhaps... When I had my business I took the break room microwave and used it to dry out some organic colorant. I stuck a thermometer in it, but because of it being a powder it did not register properly. I kept nuking it, trying to get the temperature up enough to drive all the moisture out of the powder. Finally it got too hot and smoked. You couldn't breathe the smoke. It stunk horribly. I had to get a new microwave because the other one smelled worse than rotten eggs.

                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: kmr

                                                                                                                                                                      I've also used the blender to grind little pieces of rubber spatula into the food. It's is quite efficient in this task.

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: kmr

                                                                                                                                                                        SO tried to shake up chocolate almond milk the other night. He had poured some and decided it should be shaken before use... forgot the lid before shaking tho. I am still finding little brown spots all over the kitchen.

                                                                                                                                                                      2. Oh so many, many things!
                                                                                                                                                                        Yesterday forgot to put the coffee in the coffee maker, discovered it after I poured hot water over the sweetener and creamer
                                                                                                                                                                        This morning forgot to turn off the burner when I took my poached egg out of the water - discovered that before it was too late, thankfully!
                                                                                                                                                                        Can't count the number of burns from removing things from the oven or toaster oven and getting my hand too close to the heating element!
                                                                                                                                                                        And then the infamous smashed egg incident - as a teen making brownies with my sister - she held the egg and I smashed it with the bag of brownie mix because the recipe called for one egg slightly beaten and we were VERY silly girls! lol! ;-) You can just imagine the mess. 360 degrees of egg!

                                                                                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: jujuthomas

                                                                                                                                                                          The whole office came in to see what I was hysterically laughing at.

                                                                                                                                                                        2. i once was housesitting at the then GF's cousin's house. i turned on the stove to boil some water. not being my house i had no idea, that she must never have used her back burners on her electric stove, and there were handtowels and napkins there. needless to say, when i asked my GF what that popping noise was, it was the kitchen shelves on fire.

                                                                                                                                                                          not pretty. but the fire dept was nice. the cousin and the ex GF never talked again.

                                                                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: thew

                                                                                                                                                                            "the fire dept was nice". funny.

                                                                                                                                                                          2. When I was younger my mom was a tupperware freak and would put hamburger patties in the plastic containers and stack them in the freezer…

                                                                                                                                                                            Well one day I wanted a hamburger and instead of defrosting or run under water, I decided it would be a good idea to CUT it out with a big ol’ fishing knife. As soon as mother said don’t cut yourself, you know I did. I grabbed a wash cloth and ran next door, why? I have no clue, because my mom was home and in the kitchen with me at the time. I have a nice half moon scar where 12 stitches went in the palm of my hand.

                                                                                                                                                                            Yes, I have also placed keys in the freezer, left items in the oven while preheating, sauté something stove top put in oven, grab the pan out of the oven and yell colorful words because dumb butt me forgot a pot holder. I have left food on the BBQ and only discovered when I go to preheat a couple days later (that has only happened twice, when we had partaken in too much wine though) Oh I was making candies pecans and my mom decided she wanted to taste one, needless to say she burnt her finger really bad trying to pick up the very hot candied pecan.

                                                                                                                                                                            3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: bermudagourmetgoddess

                                                                                                                                                                              Oh that reminds me of when I was 10, and I was carving a pumpkin for halloween.
                                                                                                                                                                              Not a good idea - I know! (Don't know where the supervision was!)
                                                                                                                                                                              For some reason, I thought I would get a better grip if I moved my hand....to the BLADE!
                                                                                                                                                                              Yep, I actually carefully wrapped my fingers around the blade..

                                                                                                                                                                              Yep, a trip the the ER for stitches ensued.... - I have scars on the inside of my knuckles - on 4 fingers!

                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                                                                                I did almost the same thing at the same age- only I was holding the knife by the handle, but about an inch into the pumpkin the knife stopped but my hand didn't.

                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: bermudagourmetgoddess

                                                                                                                                                                                Done something similar. When making bread crumbs out of loaf remnants, I toast them in the oven at 225F for about an hour, then turn the oven off and leave them in there to dry out. Of course I never took them out before preheating for cookies later in the week. Remember the “Favorite Food Sounds” thread? The smoke detector is *not* one of mine! LOL

                                                                                                                                                                              3. Also with eggs.......

                                                                                                                                                                                Just the other day while preparing eggs for an omelet, I cracked two of three eggs and dumped the yolks and whites into the bowl reserved for my garbage/waste/scraps/coffee grounds destined for my compost bin......rather than the mixing bowl.

                                                                                                                                                                                Stupid, stupid, stupid.

                                                                                                                                                                                1. My continual mistake is when I make something on the stove, usually this happens in the morning, I spill part of it. Then, I'll think "oh better clean that up now, more than later" and grab the hot burner with my hand.

                                                                                                                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                  1. Not mine, but my wife. Many years ago my two little darlings about 3yrs old were playing on the kitchen floor rolling cans of tomato paste back and forth. When they were tired of it they put them in the bottom drawer of the stove which was not a storage unit as usual but the broiler. They announced their presence a day or two later when Lynne was making meatloaf. BANG BANG!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                    1. /smile
                                                                                                                                                                                      Skooch over a skoshe and we'll commiserate together.

                                                                                                                                                                                      I can often be found attempting to catch one of the knives I'm using that has accidentally started falling towards the floor. It's completely unintentional and I've often traded the ER nurses and doctors stitches for laughter. My MIL observed my cat does similar things with feathers that get dragged in front of him, only those he doesn't get hurt by. Go figure.

                                                                                                                                                                                      4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: The Ranger

                                                                                                                                                                                        then we have upturned sharp knives in the dishwasher basket - not fun when emptying and some nitwit has turned them upwards.

                                                                                                                                                                                        Anyone else tried to wip clean the coffee hotplate when you have just turned it off? Duh!

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: smartie

                                                                                                                                                                                          Uhm... This morning after the paper filter collapsed and I walked out at 5:30 am to a pool of coffee all over my counter top. Cleaned up the counter, base of the machine, and proceeded to remove the glue-affixed carafe. Without thinking, I continued using the then soaking-wet towel to wipe down the hotplate. I remembered too late about heat-transfer and steam... I didn't need my morning cup of coffee after all.

                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: The Ranger

                                                                                                                                                                                            I certainly hope your day took a sharp turn for the better after all of that!

                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                              Thank you. My short-attention span and a natural ability to heal quickly have always provided for better turns throughout the day. ;) Today was no different.

                                                                                                                                                                                      2. Yesterday: put some baby carrots on to steam with a little water in a small skillet. Set the pan on high, then went out back to discuss deck construction with my SO and our builder. A half hour into this, and we're starting to remark on the neighbor's dinner cooking on the grill. Only it wasn't the neighbors. The combination of sweet and smoke smelled just like barbecue! Wandered into the house and noticed the neighbor's dinner smelled stronger in the kitchen -- I still don't think of the carrots. Finally, I found them, they were about a minute away from becoming diamonds. Fortunately with fans running and windows open, was able to clear the house of smoke and stash the blackened pan in the front garden before my SO came back in.

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. My hubby bought me some frozen already made hamburger patties once and I couldn't get them apart so I grabbed a super sharp brand new steak knife to pry them apart and I totally stabbed my hand right between my thumb and index finger. I had the insides of my hand coming out. It was so gross. I had to get stitches for 500.00. Needless to say ... if I ever touch frozen patties now I do not use a knife. And now every time I cut anything my 6 year old tells me to be careful not to cut myself. She was 4 when this happened.

                                                                                                                                                                                          1. Since kitchen labeling tape doesn't stick well if the storage container is cold, I know I need to label containers before I chill/freeze them but so often they're already cold and I think I'll know what the contents are. I often use cream of mushroom soup to extend/thicken gravies and pan sauces, and put the remaining soup into little freezer containers. After baking a particularly good meatloaf and deglazing the pan, I confidently dumped a frozen 2oz. glob of beige stuff into the simmering drippings. As it quickly melted, the smell told me that it was the excess maple frosting I'd removed from a storebought layer cake.

                                                                                                                                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: greygarious

                                                                                                                                                                                              Gosh that made me laugh! How horrible for you...I also over estimate the agility of my memory. That is exactly something I would do!

                                                                                                                                                                                            2. I did a stupid one at work today, spooned the coffee into the filter thing, added water, switched on machine, left the work kitchen, came back 5 mins later and found I hadn't put the pot on the hot plate - coffee on the floor, in the drawers, on the work surface. It took 2 of us about 10 mins to tidy up.

                                                                                                                                                                                              7 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: smartie

                                                                                                                                                                                                When I was a waiter, I did this more times than I care to admit. Co-workers would razz me about it all the time. "Uh-Oh, Adam's making coffee, get the mop ready...." adam

                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: adamshoe

                                                                                                                                                                                                  or pull out the filter basket while the machine is still streaming boiling hot water. ouch. done that more than once.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: hotoynoodle

                                                                                                                                                                                                    I've done this!! Straight ice to the burnt body part is the best remedy. =)

                                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: smartie

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Count me in, too, when I was working at my uncle's restaurant...though I only remember doing it once. The drawers underneath the coffee machine contained all the silverware and it was a major PITA to clean up.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Here's one I've done so many times they should put me in the Guiness Book of World Records for it. I often soften butter (for baking) in my microwave. It has a power level setting and if I set it at 10% power for about a minute and a half, I get a perfectly softened stick of butter. However, I often forget to set the power level and end up with a stick of butter melted all over the inside of the microwave. Duh.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: SharaMcG

                                                                                                                                                                                                      I have found that a good 5 seconds in the micro. on top and bottom for refrigerated butter works for me, but I have often forgotten about frozen butter and done the same as you when I am softening. =)

                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: smartie

                                                                                                                                                                                                    I used to work at Starbucks... no shot glasses under the espresso spouts, forgetting to but a lid on a blender, grabbing steam wands, etc. No one can make coffee at four in the morning properly. Lol...

                                                                                                                                                                                                  3. I set my sleeve on fire.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. Ok. Long response. I was a teenager cooking eggrolls when my Dad wasn't home. Didn't know corn oil ignited at high temps. The pan caught on fire. My boyfriend grabbed the pan to throw out in the back yard. My irish setter darted out and some of the oil landed on her. (Just her hair burned.) The oil also landed on some bushes which also caught on fire. My boyfriend was rolling around on the dog to put her out, I grabbed the table cloth and started beating out the fire in the bushes. We rushed the dog to the emergency vet. This was before cell phones were prevelent. While in the waiting room of the Vet my dad showed up. I asked "How did you know where to find me?" He replied..."let's see...there was burnt food, burnt bushes, burnt tablecloth and a dog was missing. I came to find out what you're making for dessert."

                                                                                                                                                                                                      I haven't made eggrolls since. :(

                                                                                                                                                                                                      4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: LA Buckeye Fan

                                                                                                                                                                                                        This is right up there with jumpingmonk's tale of microwaved-sock woe above...but your dad's punchline is priceless. Thanks for the laugh!

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: LA Buckeye Fan

                                                                                                                                                                                                            this reminds me of my brother in law who BBQ'd (grilled) dinner one night in their yard. He pushed the grill over towards the fence after dinner, meaning to put the coals out but clean forgot. At 3am my sister and brother in law wake up to find their doorbell ringing madly and sirens outside their house, they go downstairs to find firemen outside in their back yard, putting out the fire. They had managed to burn down their fence between themselves and their neighbours - all 30 foot of it!

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. I canNOT stay still so when I'm reducing something like a sauce or just anything that takes me watching something for a while, I just think "oh, I'll come back in a few minutes, it's JUST a few minutes." so I watch some TV and then the gravy becomes more like a chewy crisp...thing...

                                                                                                                                                                                                              And of course forgetting to turn off the stove or oven and then wonder why the kitchen is so hot.

                                                                                                                                                                                                              2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: AngelSanctuary

                                                                                                                                                                                                                > And of course forgetting to turn off the stove or oven

                                                                                                                                                                                                                My wife, bless her subtlety and humor, is fond of asking when I leave the oven going, "Were you prepping it for tomorrow's meal as well?" A friend taught me to sign the cross, "Oven, Stove, Fridge, Water" before leaving our kitchen. It's reduced the necessity for her commentary at me. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: The Ranger

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  LOL! I've done this more than once. I'll have to remember your friends tip. =)

                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. A new one, just last night: Made my very first ever pizza dough and put it in a warm (off) oven to rise. It rose beautifully. Then I turned the oven on to 500 to preheat AND LEFT IT in there! It was in there no more than 3 or 4 minutes but was already kind of baking.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                Second idiotic act: used it anyway. Disaster.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: bayoucook

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Akin to this: I usually make the ends of loaves of bread into melba toast for my husband who perfers it to fresh homebaked bread (go figure). I often use the residual heat in the oven from baking other stuff to do so. So I leave the toasts in the oven and realize with the traditional sickening thud that I have done so when I smell burnt bread after preheating the oven for a roast or whatever later in the day. Have taken to hanging a potholder off the oven door to alert myself that something is still in the oven...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. You know what scares me ? I haven't done it yet, BUT,... I throw something in the sink drain and then turn the disposal on, the food stuff does not drop into the drain hole. I have caught myself, almost, pushing it down with my finger...IfI ever do I guess I will have to change my name to.Uh.Heck , you decide.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: HotMelly

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    you would have to get your finger pretty far down there, but it's still not recommended.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: HotMelly

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      One of Stephen King's books (Firestarter I believe) features an encounter between hand and disposal which still makes me shudder to remember 25 years later. And comes to mind when I'm at my mother-in-law's (no disposals allowed in NYC when my building was put up, no complaintes from me on that score).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        You and me buttertart!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I think of that passage every single time I turn on the garbage disposal and as a result I never use my finger to push something in that awful hole... <shudder>
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Besides it kinda gives me the willies anyway.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. I finally understood the importance of mis en place after one particular hectic last minute chopping, and mixing liquid for sauce, and finding out the heat's too high, and i'd better add a bit more oil to the pan...and in squirts DISH WASHING LIQUID, which was standing next to the olive oil.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        If i had made peanut brittle 40 times so far it wasn't until the 25th times when i stopped sticking my finger into the butter+sugar+salt mixture to taste, and putting it into my mouth faster than i can realize, burning my finger and tongue, shaking my finger so fast after feeling the burn that the droplet flies and burn more parts of my face. The truly idiotic part of this is that before i started making peanut brittles I made "stove top first then oven" Cast Iron Tart Tatine for a whole year, and I'd already had my share of tasting the hot butter+sugar - same burn sequence.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: HLing

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          For you and those that don't know: smearing is the best think to do when you have something hot, thick and sticky on you, like chocolate, caramel/sugar, gravy or wax or hot-melt adhesive. Smear it everywhere as fast as you can. That is the fastest and easiest thing to do (that makes sense, unlike sticking your finger or hand in your mouth), that will instantly dissipate the heat. Far better than dipping or running it under water.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Scargod

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            But doesn't that just increase the area burnt?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              what it does is allow the material to cool immediately, so it will be a much less severe burn

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: HLing

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            This is probably my most idiotic moment too, but with caramel. I stuck my fingers in for who knows what reason and then once I realized the insane burn I put it in my mouth to cool it down, burning my tongue in the process too. Thankfully it was just a minor burn.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: AndrewK512

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Happend to me, too. In my case I was burining off the alcolhol in a quantity of Canton and oce that was done left it on a little extra time to drive off some of the water. Well I got disctacted and left it on the burned for what seemed to me to be a long time, so I stuck my finger in to see if it was burnt....... and dicovered that while it wasn't burnt i had driven off ALL of the water so that what was in the pan was molten sugar.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3. My oven seems like a good place to put the bowl of dough and let it rise, several times I've actually turned the oven on to prepare something else forgetting about the dough and then ending up with this burnt towel and a big hunk of hard crispy dough with a gooey centre. What a disaster!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Always forget when I put something in the oven and it burns to a crisp.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Put an empty pot on the stove and then realize it's empty after it smokes up and the bottom burns.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Get distracted doing something and then something burns, overcooks ...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. THANK YOU! This thread just reminded me about the eggs I put up to boil!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: tzurriz

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Oh, I've burnt a few hard-boiled eggs in my day! I am ordering more timers; I just let the drip irrigation run all night.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Scargod

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Timers are our friends!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  In the winter I like to warm our dinner plates in the oven. I find I only need to turn the oven on for about 90 seconds to provide enough warmth. 90 seconds, that's not so long, surely I can remember to turn the oven off after 90 seconds, can't I? Huh-uh. Now I always set a timer, because when the timer goes off, I'm thinking, "What? What's the timer for? Oh right, warming the dishes!" How quickly we forget!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Karen_Schaffer

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    for some of us short term memory loss is a lifestyle choice. Um, i mean some of YOU, yeah. that's what i meant.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. There's the burn ring on the carving side of my carving board (I use the flat side for a cutting board, on the stove. Umm). The oven that is on more often than it's off. I can't think of any other great examples because I am doing dumb stuff all the time.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                However, I think my favorite was the lid of my old crockpot. My husband finally decided to write "GETS HOT!!!!" in Sharpie around the lid knob. Thank goodness my new crockpot-lid-knob does not, in fact, get hot. The sign never really worked. <blush>

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. One year my Mother accidently grabbed the eggnog in preparing the mashed potatoes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  6 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: ctscra

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Oh that is a good one, how did it taste? ;~)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: ctscra

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My mother made my brother's instant cofee with tea from the teapot one Christmas. She never quite lived it down.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: ctscra

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Reminds me of the time I made French Onion Soup which called for the addition of port. I grabbed my uncle's homemade stuff not realizing it was chocolate-flavoured. Oof!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: KayceeK

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          When did you realize? Was it after tasting?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: DishDelish

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The smell just after I poured - too late by then! Hubby claims to have quite liked the dish actually, but I now suspect he may be on crack.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: KayceeK

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Kayceek, I am so glad that I had just finished my coffee when I read your response about Hubby possibly being on crack. I really don't need another ruined keyboard.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. I put melba toast in the toaster oven last year. Yes, it just burns ....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: morefuuud

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I found this very funny when you posted it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Today, 12 hours after one of my twin daughters did it, I'm not finding the humor quite as... enjoyable?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          There's nothing like seeing a column of smoke running up the stairs of your home from the kitchen at 9pm.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. forgot canned pop I had put in the freezer, hum talking about all bent out of shape!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: CHEFINTHECLOSET

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I did that once when i was a house guest - very embarrassing. Since then, I always set the oven timer for 30-45 mins. when I do that. I've started setting the oven timer for lots of other stuff too - toasting nuts in the oven, leaving water to boil, etc. etc. etc.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: woodleyparkhound

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              +1 on toasting nuts in the oven, and water boiling

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: woodleyparkhound

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Yes, that's the only way to avoid it -- but when I do it, it never fails. The timer starts beeping, and I'm looking dazedly around thinking, "What in the world was THAT set for??" -- after all, no burners are on, nothing's on the stove. Y'know?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: CHEFINTHECLOSET

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I did that, but not in the kitchen. Had two twelve packs of soda in the trunk of my car that I completely forgot about. In January. In Philadelphia. And friends had always remarked on how clean my trunk was . . . not so much after that :(

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              3. Last night I cut my finger on the back of my new microplane trying to get the rest of the lemon I zested out of there. I often cut or burn myself.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. I opened a cube of butter with a metallic wrapper and set it in the microwave to soften, with the cube resting on the open wrapper. The foil/paper combination put on quite a light show and caught fire. ;-) The next time, I just let the butter soften out on the counter.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. Restaurant kitchen rule #1, never put knives into the pot sink. After 25 years, you'd think I'd get that. I bought a nice santuko recently, was having alot of fun with it and when I was done, put it into the dishwater just "for a second," knowing full well it was WRONG. 15 minutes later, I stuck my hand in the water and cut the piss out of my little finger.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I also have a habit of turning on the gas and forgetting to light the oven. Lost an eyebrow that way. Lucky that's all I lost.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. Twice in the first year after I moved into my condo I woke up with a terrible headache to find I hadn't turned a burner off all the way and I'd had a gas leak. Luckily both times were in summer, and all the windows were open. It's now a routine to check the stove with the door locks at bedtime.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. I seem to have a habit of setting fire to things in my kitchen. This has included, but not limited to, the oven, the microwave, tea towels, oven mitts, bread, baking paper and tin foil. Thankfully no real damage has been done so far, except to perhaps my ego and dignity.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. Got up this morning intending to make the Amy's Bread coarse whole wheat bead I saw on CH. Decided (it was 6:30, well 7:30 today) to put some wheat berries in a plastic lidded container with 4x the volume of water and put it in the microwave set for...90 minutes (that's the 6:30 Sunday morning part I guess)...at 50% power (have made some nice chicken stock that way). Went back to bed (would have done this on the stove but thought micro would be safer). Read a bit, dozed off to the pleasant mild scent of wheat berries cooking. Woke up about 45 mins later. Horrid smell of melted plastic and burnt wheat berries. You guessed it...boiled dry, melted the plastic container onto the microwave turntable, wheat berries pitch black. Had to scrape the mess off the turntable and could get part of the plastic off but now have the turntable soaking in straight dw detergent hoping to get the rest of it off. Roused M from blissful cat-accompanied slumber to wrest open a window (NY apartment, not all windows openable) and now have every fan in the place on. Health effects of the wheat bread totally negated by the no doubt deleterious effects of the fumes from the melted plastic. Shoulda used the stove!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. Yesterday I decided to make cookies spur of the moment type thing.....I got fed up with waiting for the butter to soften so I put it on top of the heater "for a moment"...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            You guessed it - I completely forgot about it and returned to find a puddle of butter all over and dripping INTO the heater thingy...I'm pretty sure the darn thing is ruined (the flames kept going out yesterday evening) and it sure was a bloody mess to clean! Yikes!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Not to mention I had to wait then even longer for a new batch of butter to soften!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            (BTW this is not the first "trying to hurry up the butter softening accident" I've had!!)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            14 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              HA HA HA...sorry for your incident, NellyNel. No microwave? Just a quick spin in the micro on a very low setting (like defrost) works like a charm. I hope your cookies were especially tasty, at least!!! ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Similar thing has happened to me too. While the oven was preheating, I set the butter on a plate by the oven vent to soften, later (I don’t know how long) I reached for the butter and it had completely melted, overrunning the plate and all over the burner and igniter. I use the microwave now, too.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: cuccubear

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  hee hee! You would think I'da learned by now!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Anyway I don't actually have a microwave..but I used to - and I can remember a few butter melting mishaps with that too!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Thanks - cookies turned out a treat
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I actually made them for a co-worker as a thank you - but she isnt in today and oops - she is poop out of luck because although I did try to save them for her....word got out!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  People have swarmed my desk - I only have 2 left! (plain ol chocolate chip - but darn they are good!!)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I often cut the butter up in little bits (or grate it) to get it softened quickly. Takes maybe 15 mins. You never know when the urge to bake will strike.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: buttertart

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Gosh I never thought of that! Yep that's a good idea...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      another "DOH!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I love to cook, but only recently started baking - and this was my first ever spur of the moment bake..I had all the ingrdients on hand which is rare for me!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I was baking before I ever cooked - love it!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Oooooh, really? You ought to hang around with buttertart and me more often. If only we could form some sort of CH neighborhood! :) Another good spur of the moment bake is krisrishere's almond bars. Did you ever end up making them? So quick, so easy, so perfect!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            We happily have our virtual playground to meet on, here! And the almond bars are also great with browned butter and walnuts.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I have been cooking since I am a wee one, but really only just started getting into baking...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I've always felt that I have much more creative freedom with cooking than I do with baking...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              As you can probably tell - I am not a very "precise" type of person!!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              BUT I have been having allot of fun lately - I love to bring treats to my co-workers, and in a short time I have become known as the "baker" of the office! (which is so nice!!)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I would love to get together with you guys to bake and cook and eat!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              One of the reasons I am always on CH is because I have no friends who share in my love of food...it's very sad for me :(
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Anyway - NO I forgot about those almomd bars!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              My next go!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Kaimuki - LOL - I share your pain!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Here's a thought- you could put the butter in a ziploc bag and put it in some tepid water (I don't have a microwave either).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        you can get a nice messy situation leaving it on top of the fridge to melt as well. All that butter dripping down the back of the fridge, what a joy to clean that was.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: KaimukiMan

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Please tell me the condenser coil was underneath.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            on the advice of counsel i refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to incriminate me

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: NellyNel

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Consider putting the butter in a stainless steel mixing bowl you can use for the entire recipe (only one container to wash later), but remember to use a pot holder later so you don't burn yourself.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        3. The oven in my apartment (which is probably about old enough to drink at this point) has a tendency for its actual temperature to run about 25 degrees hotter than what it says on the dial. For the most part I know about this now, and can adjust accordingly when I bake. Every so often I'll manage to forget about it though, which on more than one occasion has required an apology to the neighbors for the late night smoke alarm. Turning on the wrong burner on the stove tends to happen fairly often as well...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I also find that whenever I put something in the oven, I have to set a timer or I'll inevitably burn the living daylights out of it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Vexorg

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            "Oven old enough to drink" Ha Ha! How true of mine as well! And I've had to apologize to the neighbors on more than one occasion when mis-setting the dial and / or turning on the wrong dial.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Thanks for the laff!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. Green beans, I almost always burn green beans. It's like there is no point in cooking them anymore.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I forget about the pot on the stove.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. here's one I did last week. Tall bottles don't fit in my kitchen cupboards so things like large olive oils, balsamic and wine go on top of my fridge. I guess constant jiggling eventually moved the balsamic to the edge of the fridge, I put milk away shut the door turned my back and bang! Down comes the balsamic onto my (newly cleaned) beige tiled floor.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I am not sure what was worse, screeching at the dogs to get out, splinters of sticky glass or great puddles of dark vinegar seeping into the grout. Ever try sweeping wet glass splinters? Well the kitchen smelled clean an hour later but it was quite a job.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: smartie

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ouch... hope you got all the glass up. just a note, you may really have no choice, but the heat coming up from the fridge really isn't a good thing for your oils especially. After light, heat is one of the things that will break down/spoil oil quickly.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: smartie

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Oi... I hope it was a cheap grocery store balsamic as opposed to a lovely expensive kind!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. Not sure if this counts, but I'm constantly tasting food as it cooks (and no, I don't use a different spoon each time). Apparently this grosses out some of my friends.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Here's another one (very gross). When I turn on my garbage disposal, a splash of water shoots out the other drain (double sink). I know this, but for whatever reason I never remember to cover the drain before turning on the garbage disposal- the nasty water coming out of the drain almost always hits me in the face.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I've ruined (burned) a large number of pans while steaming artichokes.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: SaoirseC

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I have the same tasting habit, from the stirring spoon, and my girlfriend can't stand it. She got me into the habit of using a separate tasting spoon, but what's the point, I keep dipping the same spoon back into the sauce. It makes her happier, though.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: SaoirseC

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hehehe...I often, when cooking for myself and kids, will test the done-ness of veggies or pasta by taking a bite, then tossing the half-eaten piece back in the pot/pan. Was cooking for dinner guests one time, and just remembered as I tossed the half-eaten morsel back into the pot that someone else was going to eat this too!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. About a year ago there developed an awful smell in the kitchen. It was fall and we had caught some um cute little critters in traps in the cellar so I thought - oh no one had died somewhere and this was the source of the smell. I hunted and hunted but no body. A few days later I opened the pantry and there was a ziplock half full with a gray slimy watery substance. My darling hubby had made a shrimp stir fry a week prior and put the rest of the fresh shrimp in the pantry and not the freezer by mistake. I threatened to have him tested for dementia.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. After a day camp experience of candlemaking, I decided to make candles from scratch at home. I was probably seven yrs. old but- I used a deli plastic container for my mold (not realizing it would melt under hot wax). Did it ever melt; ruined my mother's kitchen counter, floor and pot and to this day must listen to the retelling of my idiotic moment of candlemaking from my sibs. Crazy kid that I was!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. I thought of one more that I ALWAYS seem to do. Whenever I use a meat thermometer - the kind you put in and leave in while it cooks, I always grab it when it is still burning hot. Then there was the time I put my hand under a removable bottom tart pan just out of the oven and the extremely hot outer ring went spinning down my arm. Had some interesting burn marks from that one. I've learned to keep a bottle of aloe w/lidocaine in my kitchen. :)

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: gmm

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I've done the tart ring thing too. Ouch!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. I burn myself like that's the point of cooking and not the food. See, my problem is that I'm actually really hard to burn -- I flip bacon with my fingers and do all the other chef-y things like that. And then I get too confident, and grab something WAAAAY too hot out of a pan with bare fingers, or forget that the cast iron just came out of the oven, or take out a roasting pan with a way too thin dish towel.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The worst day for this was once when I had a catering job and had to make thirty loaves of cornbread. Five cast iron pans in and out of the oven at 400 degrees for hours, always horribly hot.... yeah, I have some pretty scars all over my arms from that day.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I curse a lot normally, but there is one word that means "Becca burned herself/ cut herself/ dropped something" in the kitchen. I can't tell you what it is here, but boy, does it get a lot of use.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: justbecca

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              "Slow your roll" (I just heard that expression the other day and find it appropriate for use here.)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Get some good long mitts and double up on the towels. I know burning flesh comes with cooking territory, but there's no sense in burning yourself needlessly.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. My worst gaffe was when cooking an Indian dish that needed to be covered and boiled at a fairly high temperature for some time. I was cooking it in a wok which had no lid, and to improvise, I threw a pizza pan in there that fit perfectly. When I went to pry it off with a fork, I wasn't thinking at all, and hot steam came shooting out and gave me excruciating burns on my fingers. For the next week, they were white (they had progressed beyond red) and covered with nasty, huge blisters. Probably ER worthy, but I was living temporarily in the US and had no health insurance.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I'm also terribly guilty of putting things that I shouldn't in the freezer and then forgetting about them. I don't know how many frozen puddles of beer I've had to chip and scrape away from that.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: vorpal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Ha Ha Vorpal - The frozen beer! Yes, dammit I've been guilty too and I almost wish I had a camera to take the pic of my face when I open the freezer door the next time! That's an OH $HIT moment if there ever was one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Gaffe on DS - I came home from work one day and was loading the DW w/ lunch and breakfast dishes. I found my very favorite (and very new) silicon spatula w/ a HUGE chunk out of it. WTF?? When I was loading up the blender stuff, I realized he had stuck the spatula in the blender WHILE IT WAS STILL ON while making his breakfast smoothie. He owes me a new spatula.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. I just performed the classic 'got frustrated and didn't use the guard for the mandoline' trick last weekend. Six days later and I still have a band-aid covering the dime-sized slice out of my thumb.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I'm pissed because I promised myself that I'd ALWAYS use the guard when I purchased the thing.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: sebetti

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I hate the guard. Frustrated doesn't begin to describe it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  On the other hand, I like my fingers. Ten is a nice even number.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Try one of these:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  http://www.rapala.com/products/knives...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Those gloves are also excellent for successful injury-free oyster shucking.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. Took out the blender. Took out the lid. Hmmmm I wonder where that little plastic thingy for the center of the lid is? Oh well don't really need it. Added the frozen fruite and yogurt to the blender and started whizzing up my fruit smoothy. Gosh that frozen fruit is really fozen and making a lot of noise. I kept shaking the blender and upping the speed to get all that fruit crushed up. I finally shut it off to manually stir it around and break up the chunks. Ooooohhhhhh that is where the little plastic thingy is!!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: julesincoq

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    HA HA HA HA! Oh noooooooooooooooooo! :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. Twice first year I lived in my new place I didn't turn a gas burner all the way off and and woke up with a horrible headache. Luckily both times it was summer, and all the windows were open. Since then I've made policing the burners every night as much a part of the routine as making sure the doors are locked.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. Here is yet another idiotic example--at least with a happy ending! Yesterday, I made Christina Mason's easy rhubarb custard cake--the one that's like tres leches but is only dos leches. :) Anyway, while opening my little Daisy container of sour cream for last night's mashed potatoes, I noticed a tip on the foil lid, "Did you know adding a cup of sour cream to your cake batter will make your cake moist and fluffy?" And I thought, hey! There's a thought. And now I'll have tres leches in this cake, even if not the usual tres. Cool, so as this is a half of a 9 x 13" recipe, I added 1/2 cup. Bueno. Followed the rest of the recipe to the letter, poured the batter into a 8" square pan and put it in the oven. As it baked, I began to smell such a sweet aroma...sugar, probably butter. So delicious, I got up to take a peek...at batter which had overrun the 8" square pan and formed a pool at the bottom of the oven and was sizzling away, then turning black to form the ugliest tuile you've ever seen. Thankfully, while it was still warm, the nasty tuile was easily removed from the oven in one piece. And I'm happy to report it was a very tasty recipe--both hot last night (as if I could wait!) and cold this a.m. for breakfast. The result and having it for breakfast wasn't idiotic at all! Next time, I'll use a 9" square pan. There will definitely be a next time, too!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. Use the Vitamix, finishing on "High." Forget it's on high, start blending again, get startled by the high speed, involuntarily lift lid off top, green stuff everywhere.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Clean up green stuff. Pour remaining amount into glasses. Start next drink. The Vitamix is still on high. I am startled. Brown stuff everywhere, especially on me. I weep bitter tears. And I'm late to work.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        My kitchen curtains have many stains.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I also have to check about three times to make sure I turned on the correct burner. Those little diagrams next to the dial just do not make sense to me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I've put my keys in the fridge. And the salt. Also ice cream.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: guilty

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Oh, you poor person, I'm sorry for your blender misadventures but I'm afraid I had to laugh, too.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. I once forgot about the fact that I had potatoes boiling on the stove... they were on there long enough for the pot to boil DRY. The bottom of the potatoes turned into a black charred mess... and I still tried to salvage them. The overcooked mashed potatoes were a sticky, char-tasting mess.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Oh... and then there was the time I spent a few days experimenting with baked onion rings... one night I was out of anything but flour... seasoned flour covered onions... just. terrible.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Of course, I've learned a lot since these errors ;)

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Hassley

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            You boiled your potatoes dry? Did you go away on vacation, or what!? Very funny story!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. I remember reading this thread a few months ago. I laughed. I thought to myself that while I had cut myself a few times, and dumped maybe a *portion* of a chicken stock down the drain, and (once) peeled off the corner of my thumb (thanksgiving '08) while wrestling too-small potatoes, I had never set fire to anything in my kitchen. And I have a propane torch in my third-tier utensil drawer.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Eventually the confluence of heat, physical ineptitude, and mental distraction flowed right into my kitchen, and I lost my favorite oven mitt. It was the one with the chile peppers on it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. Taking a large lidded turkey roaster (the speckled enameled kind) out of the oven to check on the brisket. I forgot the lid didn't have any holes to let out the steam, so when I lifted the lid to check, a blast of steam shot out and caused nearly third-degree burns on my wrist.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. I put a bottle of salad dressing on the "warming" burner on the stove and forgot all about it a couple of weeks back. Kept hearing a popping noise. Thought it was the ice maker and didn't check. Wrong. But thankfully, the bottle didn't explode or anything. Whew!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. Here is my horror story. Making a red sauce. Put two cans of plum tomatoes in the blender, then another two cans. Put the rest of the sauce together in the sauce pot and noticed something strange. It was pieces of the rubber gasket from the blender. It was all through. Had to start all over. You can bet I've been more careful putting the blender together from then on. Also, couldn't find a gasket to fit at any hardware store so ordered it through Cuisinart.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. I pull the common "forgot I need a potholder" moments many of you commented on, or realize after the meal that I left something in the microwave. Which reminds me that I think that one's either genetic or universal (or something) - I grew up in a rural area where most people had modern kitchens as well as a wood burning stove in their living room (and sometimes an old-fashioned wood cooking stove as well, but we didn't have one of those). Often in winter my mom would cook things on the wood stove in the living room along with other meal prep in the kitchen - simple things like a pan with canned green beans or corn heating, that kind of thing. Oh, the many, many meals that passed with a pan of vegetables still on the wood stove in the other room!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. Once when I was a kid, I was helping my mom put away left-overs after dinner, and I put the tupperware with the broccoli back in the cupboard instead of the fridge. Stumbled across it about 4 weeks later. Mom said to just toss the container. Not even worth trying to wash.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: ajs228

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        oh, very wise. I wouldn't even have considered trying to salvage that one. *shudder*

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. Our first apartment about 18 or 19 years ago featured a gas stove. This is the only gas stove I have ever used in my life, and we only lived there about a year, and I was just learning to cook - as I said, this was our first place. One had to turn on the burners and then light them with a match; same with the oven, one had to turn it on and then open the door and light the (whatever) with a match. One day I turned on the oven, opened the door, and released a brief but memorable heatball at my head. Stubby eyelashes for a while, no arm hair for a while, and some of the ends of my long hair got crisped off. I was uninjured but rattled. I never used the oven again and have always preferred electric to gas as a result - I still don't know how to work a gas stove or oven and I am afraid of them. Once was enough.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: occula

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          friends moved into a new condo that had gas bbq's on the pool deck. the burgers were taking a long time to cook. friend opened the lid to see what the problem was, and the flame re-ignited and shot out at him. no eyebrows or eyelashes for sometime.... gave him a "surprised" look for weeks.... well it had been a surprise. fortunately no serious burns.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: KaimukiMan

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            My first gas oven caused a near-disaster, too- a rollout when I checked to see if it was heating properly that could've rendered me bald if I hadn't jumped clear in time. My last gas oven was not dangerous but ran about 75 degrees lower than it should have been at any speed.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            And is it SOP to heat up a gas grill with the lid open- no rollout that way? A friend's relative sustained 3rd degree burns on her face and arms opening a gas grill that had been lit and left to heat up with the lid closed. they hadn't used the grill since they'd moved in.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I asked the appliance dealer why most gas stovetops came with electric ovens these days, and he said that electric ovens with the newer electronics were considered to be all-around superior for home ovens, even though gas has piezo electric starters these days instead of a pilot light. I'm glad I now have an electric oven w hose temperature is spot-on- and I'm also glad i have a gas range on the same unit. Best of both worlds.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: EWSflash

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I, too, had a fireball experience. I turned the oven on, didn't hear it ignite after a minute or two, opened it to see what was going on and ****BLAM******!!!!! A fireball rolled out of the oven, crisped my hair and sweater (eyebrows and eyelashes were protected by my glasses) and went out the window behind me. Scared the hell out of me!!! The lesson is: If the gas oven isn't igniting, do not enrich the mixture by opening the door! Eat out instead.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: somervilleoldtimer

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Went out the window behind you- holy crap! You were really lucky.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                When you leave to go out to dinner, PLEASE be sure to turn off the gas to the oven before you leave. and if at all possible leave a couple of windows cracked open no matter how cold or hot it is outside.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: occula

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The same thing happened to me many years ago. I was burned pretty badly - I had very long curly hair which went up in flames - the stench of burning hair was horrible. I had bad burns on my face and hand and I realized after the fact, I went into shock. I was staying in a stranger's apt. in NYC at the the time (with a friend who was a friend of the tenant). We had matinee tickets to see Equus that afternoon (which tells you how long ago it was) and I sat there, with my hand and face on fire, utterly miserable.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I have used a gas stove since then, and in fact prefer them, but never the kind you have to light with a match. Very scary experience.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: woodleyparkhound

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              goodness alive, wph, that is horrible!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Yes, it really was. Also, that apt. was near the Port Authority - back when that was a very undesirable and scary neighborhood.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                One of many stories of my misspent youth...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3. I thought that I would make a hard boiled egg in the microwave. I placed a 2-cup pyrex measuring cup full of water in the microwave and placed an egg in it. Set the timer for 3-minutes. I was going to let the egg sit in hot water for 15 minutes to finish cooking. After about 45-seconds the egg exploded all over the inside of the microwave. We were finding little pieces of shell for days. I guess the stovetop method is best. ;-)

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Antilope

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Yep, I tried to cook up some chicken livers for a pregnant stray cat that I'd taken to the humane society and she got loose in the parking lot and made her way back to my apartment (several miles away across multiple major roads) in a week, REALLY pregnant by this time. Guilt? Extreme. So I covered a dish of chicken livers, which I went to the store to buy, knowing she must be malnourished, and put them in the microwave. about a half minute later there was a muffled blast and on opening the microwave door there were chicken liver stalactites and stalagmites and everything else covered in half-cooked chicken livers. The cat was not as grateful as I would have hoped her to be, and two dqys later had four kittens (only four, thank the good Lord, I had not paid a pet deposit because I had no pets). I really hate chicken livers, by the way.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Eggs or liver? Which is worse?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: EWSflash

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Many years ago, I worked swing shift in the office of a large tech company. Near the end of the shift (about 11pm) the janitors would come in early, go to the lunch room and have dinner prior to their shift. They were all Korean and the smell of Kim Chee would fill the office each night. I got use to that, but this one night a terrible burned fishy smell wafted through the office. It turns out the janitors had managed to explode a large carp fish all over the inside of the microwave. So I believe from personal experience that fish is much worse than eggs or liver. ;-)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Another microwave story from the same work location. A co-worker that had grudges with several workers on day shift would place their potted plants in the microwave for
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                5 or 10 seconds. This short time would show no immediate damage, but the plant would collapse and die within a week or two.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: EWSflash

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Don't know which is worse, but you're definitely going to heaven when you're gone.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: somervilleoldtimer

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    That damn cat gave the kittens fleas, crapped all over my motorcycle cover that was in the living room (turns out she'd never been box trained, fortunately she learned quickly), then when she could leave the kittens for a while played the lost stray kitty thing with my next-door neighbors, who would feed her cans of sardines, which she would pollute the cat box with, etc.- finally would stretch out so the kittens would go to nurse and then she'd beat them up just as they got settled in, then after a few episodes of that, ran off for good, leaving me with four kittens to find homes for. Well, I did that, but first I had to treat them for fleas and get the couch and carpet steam cleaned to kill the fleas. Have not had a cat since. Old Bugsy (that's what I called her) was quite the operator, not to mention quite the navigator.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    About the plant microwaver- that's a really scary person. Yikes indeed.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. Not quite as disastrous as some of the other stuff here, but while making Spaghetti sauce a couple of days ago I tried to drain a can of tomato sauce before putting it into the pot. Didn't work out so well...

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Vexorg

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    lol, that is pretty funny though.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. My friend Dave stored his Tupperware in his oven. He forgot and turned on the oven and said it was a horrible mess. I always peek before I preheat.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. Last weekend, I threw out my vegetable peeler, I think. Can't find it anywhere, so I am assuming It was buried in the bowl of apples peelings that got tossed. I loved that peeler. Had it for at least 10 years. The handle was perfect, it was still sharp. Sigh.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Sooeygun

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          At least you didn't lose it down your sink disposal!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I had a roommate that would casually say "Well, we have another grapefruit spoon now" whenever one went down the disposall

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: Sooeygun

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Arg, I did that too. It was such a good peeler, you could even peel a butternut squash with it! I just can't seem to find another equally good one anywhere. The only one I've found with a nice sharp blade is too narrow in behind the blade, so all the peelings get stuck in it and it's horrible to wash.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3. Just last night, I used the mandolin slicer I always kept saying I should throw away because it was too dangerous, and sliced off the top part of my middle finger and a little of my nail. Called the ER, they said to come in if it didn't stop bleeding within 45 minutes. It did stop, but now I'm stuck with a sore and probably disfigured fingertip. I did throw the slicer away, obviously too late.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: nolight

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              You can use the mandoline safely as long as you have one of these:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              http://www.amazon.com/Rapala-BPFGL-Fi...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Day late and a tip of the finger short, though, eh? ;) (OUCH!)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: nolight

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The tip will round up as it heals. Disfigurement should be minimal.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: scubadoo97

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Thank you, everyone. My safety gloves arrived from Amazon on Saturday. I'll use them when chopping. Don't think I'll be braving the mandolin anytime son, though. :-) The finger is healing a lot faster than I expected!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: nolight

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I've "nicked" (bled like a son of a gun tho') a corner of my finger twice. But both times I wasn't paying attention. When I need the mandoline, really nothing else will do - for me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                3. My roommates, who were very impressed with roasted chicken, and had seen me make it called for instructions when I was away. I gave them the run-down, but forgot one little detail....they baked it with the innards still inside. GROSS! When microwaves were new, my sister decided too boil and egg. KABOOM! We were lucky we only had to replace the micro, not the whole kitchen. And when I was living in Thailand, I almost put a cup of MSG in the cookies before I learned which bag of white granular stuff was which. Only the maid totally freaking out and waving desperately stopped me. Guess she had a crazy American story to tell her friends :-)

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: arashall

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    and they say you can't find good help any more....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. Whenever I make a dish that involves cooking on the stove and then finishing in the oven (meat, fritattas, whatever)....I invariably, at some point when the pan is out of the oven and back on the stovetop, grasp the handle sans oven mitt. You know, the pan that just came out of a 400 oven about 3 minutes ago. Every. time.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: LeoLioness

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Been there, done that! It's been a long time but I am more likely to do this with a stainless pan than a cast iron one which I always assume is hot.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: LeoLioness

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        jfood first warned me about this. I now have an oven mitt that I (almost) religiously put on that handle and leave it there til it's cold as a stone. Knock wood, I've only forgotten once. That little crease where your thumb and index finger join is pretty tender flesh, BTW.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. Well the consequences weren't nearly as bad as many of those mentioned here this is definitely the most idiotic thing I've done in the kitchen:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Was sleepily pouring myself a glass of grape juice from a clear pitcher. While pouring I noticed something clear and solid at the bottom of the pitcher. "Gross- what is that?" I think to myself while I tip the bottom of the pitcher up to the light to get a better look. Duhhh. Dumped 1/2 a pitcher of grape juice on my face.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        (Oh-- and the thing at the bottom of the pitcher was its embossed logo.)

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Manybears

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Being intimate with my wife in the kitchen she pulled the cabinet door off the hinges and it hit me in the head. Totally killed to mood.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: princeofpork

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ya gotta learn t roll with the punches

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: princeofpork

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              lol, that's great ... my hubby once whopped my lip in the dark and that killed it for me. I felt worse for him though ... I bet your wife felt terrible.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: DishDelish

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I think she felt worse about breaking the cabinet

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: princeofpork

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I will ever view your name with different meaning after reading this post. ;) HA HA HA!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: princeofpork

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    okay I think you get the award for this thread.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: Manybears

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Okay. That made me laugh out loud, at the end. Thank you!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  3. When I was living at my parents', I was making chicken piccata and mistakenly used powdered sugar rather than flour to dust the chicken breasts. I was wondering why it was burning black, rather than turning a nice golden brown...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. Oh brother, I have a few memorable stories. Grab a cuppa, could be long.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. Teen baked herself a potato in the micro one night, had only been going about 3 minutes, so not excessive. She called me in the kitchen because the micro was smoking. Sure enough, the potato had burst into flames and made a lovely scorch mark on the micro. It was a nice little coal briquette. I am still using the microwave, 3 years later.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. I was deep frying on someone else's stove, so I wasn't familiar with the heat settings. Had it too high, and chucked the high-water-content fritters into the super-heated oil, and ended up in the ER, plus 6-8 weeks of PT for my fried (dominant!) hand. That hurt.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      3. When I had just had a baby, and already had a 19 month-old at home, I was cooking some pasta sauce. It came out great! Then I went to boil some noodles on the stove, and put the burner on high. Something had apparently fallen down under the stove top prior to that (I blame my teen or my ex-hubby, who were using my kitchen while I was recovering), and caught fire. I didn't know where the fire was coming from, there was just smoke billowing out from what seemed like the top of the oven door. I opened the oven door, realized it was under the stove top, and flames were now flying everywhere. (Was also trying to keep the 19 month-old out of the kitchen, and the newborn was crying, I was a wreck!!) I was just about to grab the children and run out of the apartment, when I realized that I had a huge pot of water right on top of the fire. I grabbed the pasta pot and dumped it on the stove, which put out the fire. It took HOURS to air out the apartment. I went into the living room to calm down for a few minutes, then I went back to assess the damage. Nothing apparently damaged, but the pasta was a loss. The sauce was still good, though, so I decided to put it in the fridge for later (as I had lost my appetite by this point). With newborn in one hand, and large 4-quart sauce pot in the other, I went to set the sauce in the fridge. I failed. The sauce went EVERYWHERE. So then I had to clean up several quarts of sauce, while also trying to manage the children, and air out the apartment. The beige linoleum floor was pink and greasy for weeks afterward. What a disaster!!! (BTW, there was no damage at all from the fire, just a good scrubbing under the stove top did the trick.)

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: emilyjh75

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Oh man, you're my hero for just living through that one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. In college we wanted to make our own hot wings. SO we filled a lobster pot about half full with oil. Once super hot we dropped about a dozen wings in the oil. Problem was the wings were frozen. The hugest fireball shot up and completely scorched the ceiling. We could have easily burned down the whole house.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. Ever use a mandolin slicer without the gripper handle thingy? No? Don't. I nearly lost the end of my driving finger (the middle one) while slicing a potato. It was my first time using the slicer so it was surgically sharp. Right through the finger nail and into the skin. No hospital trip but my elbows and knees ache to this day just thinking about it. *shudder*

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Aabacus

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Yep, did that in November (upthread). I was using the guard, but it slipped. I was stupidly trying to get that last bit of sweet potato. I still have a small patch of sensitive skin on top of that finger. It looks white. Just remembering that night gives me tingles - not the good kind.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: nolight

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Did the exact same thing slicing Zucchini without the guard a few years ago. Right ring finger is still diagonal at the corner. Don't try this at home, kids.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. When my mom had to have open heart surgery, I took time off under FMLA to take care of her. Since my parents and I were over-the-road truck drivers and lived on our trucks, we temporarily rented a studio apartment for her recovery.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I was cooking supper one evening and turned one of the electric burners down to low to keep a pan warm. After supper, I went to do dishes and placed my flat hand on the burner to see if it had cooled enough to put a dish towel on (the stove doubled as a dish rack) and it turned out that I had never turned it off. My hand stuck for a couple of seconds and I pulled it away with a detailed circular burn in the shape of the burner!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. The other night when I was about to blind bake my pastry I was looking for some brown lentils in the cupboard, couldn't find them so I thought "oh popcorn would be heavy enough" started reaching for it then had a little visit from my guardian angel. Ended up using some white rice. Enough said.

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