635869 Sat Jul 11 19:18:54 -0700 2009 134 29 Not About Food 0 4850137 As an example of what I'm getting at, I'll start with this ode to cheese, sung to the tune of THE EURYTHMICS "SWEET DREAMS (are made of these)" Sweet dreams are made of cheese Who am I to dis on Brie? Travel the world for Époisses Everybody’s looking for Stilton Some of them want a Gouda Some of them want to use Raclette Some of them want a Jarlsberg Some of them want a Mimolette I wanna use you in Amuse-Bouche I wanna know what goes with you Mold your rind up (movin’ on) Keep your ripe up (movin’ on) Original: (Sweet dreams are made of these Who am I to disagree Travel the world and the seven seas Everybody's looking for something Some of them want to use you Some of them want to get used by you Some of them want to abuse you Some of them want to be abused I wanna use you & abuse you I wanna know what’s inside you Hold your head up (movin’ on) Keep your head up (movin’ on)) Let's see what people can come up with! Chowhounds to the challenge! Sat Jul 11 19:18:54 -0700 2009 97804 cmvan 1 4850313 Love the idea, but don't know the song because I'm an old fart. However, I'll work on this and get back to you. Sat Jul 11 21:12:28 -0700 2009 4850137 45208 somervilleoldtimer 1 4851885 Nice going, cmvan. How I love a truly cheesy 80s song! ;) Annie Lennox would be proud. I'll be back after the wheels start turning (this is more challenging than a 5-line limerick!), so don't give up on us! Sun Jul 12 16:19:49 -0700 2009 4850137 249664 kattyeyes 2 4852870 I keep coming back to "Don't you want my gravy" a la Human League's "Don't You Want Me Baby" but that's as far as I've gotten. I was working late and you said you would pick up a jar That much is true But even though you knew mine would have much better taste ... Don't, don't you eat that. You know the way you feel when you eat that processed food so Don't, don't you eat that. Needs work, I know. Mon Jul 13 05:01:54 -0700 2009 4851885 249664 kattyeyes 3 4853078 "don't you want my gravy?" --- love it, sista-kat!!!! i'll be you could come up with something for howard jones' "things can only get better." whoa whoa whoa ... woh-oh oh oh...... <MUST be sung at the very TOP of one's lungs, while driving in the summer with the windows down, speeding down the highway!>> Mon Jul 13 06:24:56 -0700 2009 4852870 105717 alkapal 1 4852024 *stands and applauds* Well done ! i'll have to give this some thought. Sun Jul 12 17:32:23 -0700 2009 4850137 153184 im_nomad 1 4852460 In the same (blue cheesy), vein: Your cheezin heart will melt on you... Sun Jul 12 20:31:43 -0700 2009 4850137 137946 Scargod 2 4869819 (Your cheatin' heart will tell on you) Your eatin' heart will make you leap at the first meal seen in your sleep. But sleep won't come the whole night through Your eatin' heart will growl at you. When beer comes down like falling rain You'll toss around and want pountine. You'll walk the floor with nothin' to chew your eatin' heart will growl at you Your eatin' heart, Will pine some day, And crave poptarts, You threw away, The time will come, When you'll be blue, Your eatin' heart, will growl at you When beer comes down, Like gravy on taters You call and order it. 'cause nothing else matters You'll walk the floor, Till delivered to you, Your eatin' heart, will growl at you Sat Jul 18 08:50:02 -0700 2009 4852460 137946 Scargod 1 4852504 The first two that came to mind were the Ramones "You're a loudmouth baby" and Tom Waits "I don't wanna grow up". Unfortunately, all the ideas I had were a bit gross so maybe these two could be an inspiration to a budding chowhound lyricist who can do more than rhyme "grow up" with "throw up". But I know everyone's out there working on this one. Good one. Sun Jul 12 20:53:18 -0700 2009 4850137 64491 mickie44 2 4856963 oh come come. there's a healthy contingent of chowhounds who like gross lyrics. we conflate it with funny! (observe: the long string of fart limericks on the "recipe limericks" thread. :) go for it, mickie!! Tue Jul 14 08:07:44 -0700 2009 4852504 64215 cimui 1 4852620 I should probably recite this every day. Sun Jul 12 21:56:21 -0700 2009 4850137 10609 Cheese Boy 1 4852649 The Smell of Hot Dogs Hello hot dog, my old friend, Ive come to snack on you again, Because a vision softly creeping, Left its seeds while I was sleeping, And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains Leaving the smell of hot dogs. In restless dreams I walked alone Narrow streets of cobblestone, 'Neath the halo of a street lamp, I turned my collar to the cold and damp When my nose detected the smell of a hot dog stand On Mott and Grand That wafted the smell of... hot dogs. And in the naked light I saw Ten thousand people, maybe more. People eating without speaking, People eating without listening, People eating dogs that no one ever shared, No one dared Ask for a bite of hot dog... Fools said I, you do not know Hot dog stands like cancer grows. Hear my words that I might teach you, Take my arms that I might reach you. But my words like silent raindrops fell, And echoed In the streets of New York... And the people bowed and prayed To the neon hot dog stand they made. And the sign flashed out its warning, In the words that it was forming. And the signs said, "the ingredients of this hot dog are not for you to know for upchuck you'd throw Disturbing the smell of hot dogs..." Etc... Ok, cmvan, clearly you have a bit more talent than me! ;) Sun Jul 12 22:17:39 -0700 2009 4850137 64215 cimui 2 4852663 Wow. Sun Jul 12 22:27:39 -0700 2009 4852649 64491 mickie44 3 4854230 as in "wow... that's awful", i know. ;) somehow my late night song writing attempts never turn out as well as i'd like them to. Mon Jul 13 11:52:46 -0700 2009 4852663 64215 cimui 4 4854320 No, it was 'wow' in a good way but I've been having my yearly craving for a seriously good hot dog so any song on that subject would probably have appealed to me. Write on! Mon Jul 13 12:17:54 -0700 2009 4854230 64491 mickie44 5 4854817 pshaw, you are too kind. but i do hope you get your hot dog, soon! Mon Jul 13 14:26:36 -0700 2009 4854320 64215 cimui 2 4853073 fun-eeeee, cimui! {;^D. Mon Jul 13 06:23:50 -0700 2009 4852649 105717 alkapal 2 4855041 Good job! It's like Paulie and Artie were brought back 40 years later, just to observe the obesity epidemic. Mon Jul 13 15:31:02 -0700 2009 4852649 17562 FoodFuser 2 4855085 excellent Mon Jul 13 15:43:04 -0700 2009 4852649 22559 smartie 2 4857087 Oh, thanks alot. I have a lunch meeting in a few minutes and now eye makeup is streaming down my face. Tue Jul 14 08:33:50 -0700 2009 4852649 280735 tcamp 2 4858995 How to properly express my love for that bit of poetry without coming off as a wiener?? Tue Jul 14 17:11:28 -0700 2009 4852649 137755 Sal Vanilla 3 4860240 Just be frank. And earnest. Wed Jul 15 06:49:24 -0700 2009 4858995 154622 Paulustrious 1 4852821 Phoney baloney (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) Know the way I feel tonight (ooh-no-no-no-nah) Phoney baloney (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) Know this feelin aint right (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah) Mon Jul 13 04:12:42 -0700 2009 4850137 137946 Scargod 1 4852873 over a year ago, i penned "romaine" by "j.j. kale": http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/574054#4205320 """ typing "romaine" made me think of eric clapton, doing a "thanksgiving sandwich" song: "ROMAINE" "If you wanna pig out, go take the turkey out; romaine. If you wanna get bread, then you'll be ahead; romaine. She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; romaine. "If you've got to use, mayo dressing you choose: romaine. When your cran is done, but you want to eat on; romaine. She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; romaine. "So if you want to turk down, white bread all around; romaine. if you pile the meat high, you might still "kiss the sky"; romaine. i don't lie, i don't lie, i don't lie -- romaine!" -- written by J.J. Kale""" Mon Jul 13 05:03:49 -0700 2009 4850137 105717 alkapal 2 4852880 Now you have to do Kale-la (Layla)! Just kiddin'. Nice goin', sista! Mon Jul 13 05:06:36 -0700 2009 4852873 249664 kattyeyes 3 4852972 i think layla is the best rock song ever. "KALE-A, i got you in the steam KALE-A, come on baby, green KALE-A, sweet green, won't you please be done in ti-iiii-iiiiiiii-iiiiiiimmmme?" ~~~~~~~ now, i'm thinking of a riff on the song with the best-ever guitar solo, which is robert fripp's work in eno's "baby's on fire." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTGsqiF4kj8&feature=related hmmm..... "steak is on fi-re better throw it in the butter look at it sin-king like a heifer in the water ... but steak is on fire and thermometer will show that the temperature's rising but any grillin' fool would know that!" ~~~~~~~ work in progress: (from the who's squeezebox). "mama's got a smo-ker and she never gets to sleep at night...." Mon Jul 13 05:44:31 -0700 2009 4852880 105717 alkapal 3 4854237 now that's just too dang funny, you two. i'm going to have this in my head for the rest of the day. Mon Jul 13 11:54:36 -0700 2009 4852880 64215 cimui 1 4852924 Lettuce be lovers we'll carry our onions together I've got some fresh milk here in my bag so we bought a pack of brocolli and Mrs Wagner pies and walked off to cook for America. Kathy I said as we sat in a kitchen in Pittsburgh culinary school seems a dream to me now it took me 4 days to make pie with paw-paw we've all gone to cook for America. that's the best I can come up with at 8am on a Monday morning if anyone wants to finish it....!!! Mon Jul 13 05:25:07 -0700 2009 4850137 22559 smartie 2 4854238 Smartie, this is real talent! My goodness. And props for the S&G. Mon Jul 13 11:56:09 -0700 2009 4852924 64215 cimui 1 4852961 Spam Blues Spam's for Spacemen It ain't for men They say it'll kill me But won't say when Walkin' down Beale Street Goin' on the Lamb Avoiding the smell Of frying Spam Spaaaam! Makes me whooo I am. credit to Dave Van Ronk's "Cocaine Blues" Mon Jul 13 05:40:52 -0700 2009 4850137 93538 Passadumkeg 1 4854382 There is a place in New Orleans They call Commander's Palace It's been the ruin of many dieters And God, I'm such a fatass My mother was a good cook She made great grits and beans My father was a cookin man Down in New Orleans Now the only thing a dieter needs Is a carrot and some celery But the only time she'll be satisfied Is when she's into gluttony Oh dieticians, tell your clients Not to seek my kind of solace Spend your calories on booze and grease In a place called Commander's Palace Well I've got one foot on the diet scale The other foot's on the stoop I'm going back to New Orleans To eat more turtle soup There is a house in New Orleans They call Commander's Palace And it's been the ruin of many dieters And God I'm still a fatass Mon Jul 13 12:39:25 -0700 2009 4850137 18072 Niki in Dayton 2 4854826 *applause!* Mon Jul 13 14:28:03 -0700 2009 4854382 64215 cimui 2 4854873 brilliant Mon Jul 13 14:41:44 -0700 2009 4854382 22559 smartie 2 4854898 A bacchanalian labor of love! Mon Jul 13 14:50:22 -0700 2009 4854382 57170 Veggo 1 4854779 I've been workin' on my food show My name's Rachael Ray Trying to come up with some thing New and cute to say "Sammie" and "yummo" are so last year Gettin' tired of "stoup" Better get me a thesaurus And find a whole new group. adam Mon Jul 13 14:15:02 -0700 2009 4850137 154787 adamshoe 2 4854829 great rhyming prowess -- but what's the original melody to? Mon Jul 13 14:29:34 -0700 2009 4854779 64215 cimui 3 4854858 I've been workin' on the railroad. (you young whippersnapper....) adam Mon Jul 13 14:37:41 -0700 2009 4854829 154787 adamshoe 4 4854882 oh! hehe. i'm not young; i'm just senile! good one. Mon Jul 13 14:46:13 -0700 2009 4854858 64215 cimui 1 4854909 Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I'm begging of you, please don't take a drink. Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene It's time for you to go and see a shrink. Your drinking is beyond compare You need be taken into care With bright red lips, your face a sickly green. Your face is like a lump of dough Your voice is raucous like a crow And you are not discrete at all, Jolene You snore all night when you're asleep Your breath smells like a garbage heap. Your dribble's stained the pillow red, Jolene Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I'm begging of you, please don't hit the gin Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene You just don't know how much this hurts your kin. Well, I can't really cope with this Every day you're on the piss. You don't know what this does to me, Jolene Well, you have made your choice in life I cannot bear to see my wife Destroy herself, destroy my girl, Jolene I had to have this talk with you My happiness depends on you And whatever you decide to do, Jolene Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I'm begging of you, please don't hit the booze. Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene It's drink or me, and now you have to choose. Mon Jul 13 14:54:39 -0700 2009 4850137 154622 Paulustrious 1 4854912 What would you do if I ran out of cash would you stand up and walk out on me lend me some dough and I'll come eat with you and I'll try not to eat all the Brie Oh I get by with a little help from my friends ooh I get fed with a little help from my friends mmm gonna eat with a little help from my friends What do I do when my cash is all gone (does it worry you to be so broke?) How does it feel when your cards have been stopped (are you sad because you have no dough?) No I get fed with a little help from my friends mmm I get food with a little help from my friends mmm gonna eat with a little help from my friends Do you need anybody I just need someone to pay Could it be anybody I just want someone to pay Would you believe that my wallet's at home yes I'm certain that it happens all the time What do you feel when the check comes your way I can't tell you cos I don't have a dime Ooh I get fed with a little help from my friends mmm I get food with a little help from my friends mmm gonna eat with a little help from my friends Mon Jul 13 14:55:06 -0700 2009 4850137 22559 smartie 2 4854972 i think janet from richmond knows those people.. Mon Jul 13 15:12:27 -0700 2009 4854912 105717 alkapal 3 4855037 don't we all! Mon Jul 13 15:30:04 -0700 2009 4854972 22559 smartie 4 4855260 Are these the original, undiscovered lyrics from their leanest days before their launch from Liverpool? Good work. Mon Jul 13 16:49:02 -0700 2009 4855037 17562 FoodFuser 5 4856975 I went to the same high school as John Lennon. So let us imagine.. Imagine there's a heaven It's easy if you try Taco Bell beside us Above us New York Fries Imagine all these places Feeding us today. Imagine Chicken Licken The smell is drifting by. Checkers door is open I can see the apple pie. Imagine all these places Open all day long. I'm not just a Krispy Kremer. Nor just a Dairy Queen. I hope someday you'll join me And live the fast food scene. Imagine Boston Market With IHOP really close And sandwiched in, is Subways And there is Happy Joe's Imagine Chicken Fil-A And East Side Mario's I'm not just a Johnny Rocket Nor just a Burger King I hope someday you'll join me And live the fast food thing Tue Jul 14 08:10:41 -0700 2009 4855260 154622 Paulustrious 1 4855159 Smartie is seriously good at this. I have "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat" from Guys and Dolls stuck in my head, so I thought I'd give it a try. The result is a bit odd, but, oh well. I dreamed last night mom was making soup for dinner and by some chance she was in a touchy mood. And there I stood and said, You should add pepper, but my sister, she knew I was wrong. For my sister she said to me, Get out you're crowding the cook. And our mom is bound to hit you with the pointy end of her wooden spoon Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, you're crowding the cook. Mon Jul 13 16:09:54 -0700 2009 4850137 11231 Glencora 1 4855266 Starting with the classics, in pulsing marching rhythm: The Battle Hymn of the Republic, (reborn to Beef Burgundy), circa 1862. It helps to really sing it as you read, or at least thump your foot in a "one-two march", as the meter is a bit strained: The Battle Hymn of Beef Bourguignon: Mine eyes have seen the glory of the browning of the meat As I move it with the tongs, and adjust the rapid heat. The enamel of "The Creuset" is the tool that can't be beat While_beef_goes_Bour_Guig_non. Glory, glory Hallelujah. I'll send... the searing heat right throoough 'ya As your lovely two-inch hunks Become nicely browned beef chunks Maillard keeps marching on. There was bacon in the butter that provides your frying base Now carrots onions mushrooms and a bit of 'mater paste Then some flour for more browning and some stir with gentle haste You're ready for the wine. Glory, Glory Hallelujah As the wine... sends the steam right throoough 'ya and your contents do deglaze in the aromatic haze of rich red Burgundy. After braising in the oven, you're a beautiful brown beast I should chill you overnight, so that you can be degreased but I made enough for doubles so tonight too we can feast And open up... more wine. ------- (Lest we build a coddling revisionist image of Civil war soldiers and their Le Creuset cookware, gently huddled at their campfires): Glory, Glory Hallelujah don't let... this simple story fool 'ya We marched on beans and hardtack Drank dank coffee, seared some fatback Our farts... pro... pelled us on. (End with flourish, crescendo... As flourish with end, diminu-Wind-o.) Mon Jul 13 16:51:54 -0700 2009 4850137 17562 FoodFuser 2 4855361 yet another winner, food fuser! Mon Jul 13 17:20:20 -0700 2009 4855266 105717 alkapal 3 4855555 When you find you roast beef dried out beyond belief dehydrated; just not moist. When you find your turkey is as hard a jerkey and looks like a roofing joist. When you country breakfast has become a wreck-fest tough as over-boiled goat. Learn you this discovery you will find recovery in a pointed silver boat USE THE GRAVY! Utilize tha sauce so brown USE THE GRAVY! pour it on and chow on down USE THE GRAVY! makes even failed food get renown USE THE GRAVY! USE THE GRAVY! I WANT YOU! I WANT YOU!, I WANT YOU! TO USE SAUCE AU JUS! Mon Jul 13 18:29:01 -0700 2009 4855361 24492 jumpingmonk 4 4856825 I had to think about yours (loved it, btw). IN THE NAVY! You rule--very clever. :) "THEY-WANT-YOU!" Tue Jul 14 07:31:29 -0700 2009 4855555 249664 kattyeyes 4 4856993 I can almost see you strutting in a black leather cassock, gravy boat in one hand, the traditional dried-out turkey drumstick in the other. Breakfast Dancing. Tue Jul 14 08:15:34 -0700 2009 4855555 154622 Paulustrious 5 4858205 No, I'd have to get four other people, then we could dress one as a chef, one a short order cook etc.... I'm just sorry that the latness of the hour and my own inadeqate skills kept me from doing a parody of equal length to the orignal. Tue Jul 14 13:12:16 -0700 2009 4856993 24492 jumpingmonk 6 4858944 Oh and one minor clarification point. I take my screename from a very complex Chinese Banquet dish, so the monk in question would be dressed in saffron (yellow orange) not black Tue Jul 14 16:56:15 -0700 2009 4858205 24492 jumpingmonk 7 4860260 Sorry - the song and the yellow outfit lead to a disconnect. Can't quite envisage the Buddhist Bad Boy. The closest I can get is... I'm just mad about saffron. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQz_s8Yw1Us Wed Jul 15 06:55:39 -0700 2009 4858944 154622 Paulustrious 3 4856920 i know, right? foodfuser clearly needs to record an album.... and publish a book of food-related limericks! Tue Jul 14 07:57:49 -0700 2009 4855361 64215 cimui 2 4855537 I just can't stand it. 7 in the morning and 7 at night and the hits just keep on comin' from you, my man. How do you do it? :) Mon Jul 13 18:22:30 -0700 2009 4855266 249664 kattyeyes 1 4855530 All of these creative lyrics remind me of how I got to Chowhound in the first place...through one of my favorite Calvin Trillin books. If he is still a Chowhound poster, I'm sure he could toss off some great foodie lyrics and if he is still here, I want to thank him for his books. Mon Jul 13 18:19:36 -0700 2009 4850137 64491 mickie44 1 4855573 If you don't eat your meat how can you have any pudding! If you don't eat your meat how can you have any pudding?? "Another Brick in the Wall" from Pink Floyd. Sheesh. Scary I seriously need a better hobby. Mon Jul 13 18:35:56 -0700 2009 4850137 247986 JerryMe 1 4855579 Thanks folks, now I'll be hearing Weird Al songs in my head all night! Mon Jul 13 18:37:27 -0700 2009 4850137 77993 garlicvampire 2 4855616 "eat it! eat it!" ;-)). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAs9e6O23qs "fat!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqz1ojIQTBk&feature=related "if i have one more pie a la mode, i'm gonna have my own zip code." "trapped in the drive-thru" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJWSkSaLGPA&feature=channel (i've never seen this one before, it's hilarious...stick it out!). Mon Jul 13 18:48:08 -0700 2009 4855579 105717 alkapal 3 4855836 Don't forget some of Al's other hits "Taco Grande (Rico Suave)", "The White Stuff (The Right Stuff)","My Bologna (My Sharona)", and "Spam (Stand)" . While you're at it, you can add "Good morning, Starbucks" by the Capitol Steps. oh and this one in tribute to a certain favorite seasoning http://www.bagelfather.com/funstuff/parody/parody3.htm Mon Jul 13 20:07:00 -0700 2009 4855616 24492 jumpingmonk 4 4855903 My Sharona could also be My Corona There is 'Honey' and Life is a Minestrone. also don't forget Pizza my Heart by Janis Joplin Mon Jul 13 20:32:35 -0700 2009 4855836 22559 smartie 4 4858207 Forgot one Al "I Love Rocky Road" ("I Love Rock and Roll") Tue Jul 14 13:13:11 -0700 2009 4855836 24492 jumpingmonk 5 4860020 you know, for being such a skinny guy, weird al sure loves food! ;-). Wed Jul 15 05:12:30 -0700 2009 4858207 105717 alkapal 6 4861676 Two more I forgot from him (sorry for the frequent updates but it's been a while since I actually had Weird al CDs so I keep having to go from memory "Lasagna" ("La Bamba") and "Grapefuit Diet" ("Zoot Suit Riot") Wed Jul 15 13:36:15 -0700 2009 4860020 24492 jumpingmonk 7 4863218 la-la-la-la-la-sagne! ;-). Thu Jul 16 04:11:33 -0700 2009 4861676 105717 alkapal 8 4866790 and one more "addicted to spuds" ("addicted to love") Fri Jul 17 06:24:12 -0700 2009 4863218 24492 jumpingmonk 9 4867068 i've gotta see that one! Fri Jul 17 08:00:52 -0700 2009 4866790 105717 alkapal 10 4867667 I'm not sure if there is a "see"; Weird Al doesn't do a music video for EVERY song parody he does, though admitttedly the number he does per album seems to increase with each sucessive one (proably becuse, as he has gotten more famous a lot of his fellow humorists in Hollywood do music videos for him, animated ones that require little or no extra effort from him (beyond being the director and doing the orginal recording) so he can do more of them.) Few of the ones I've mentioned have videos attached to them "I love rocky road does" but I think that's the only one, all of the other are audio only Fri Jul 17 11:00:34 -0700 2009 4867068 24492 jumpingmonk 3 4856021 Thanks, I haven't laughed like that for days! I'd never seen "EBAY" before:) Mon Jul 13 21:32:05 -0700 2009 4855616 215278 corneygirl 1 4855990 That is way too ... cheesy. Mon Jul 13 21:15:13 -0700 2009 4850137 40486 Cinnamon 2 4886519 I just got the Capitol Step's Latest album in the mail yesterday, and there a food related parody on that one too; "I Wrecked my Heart with Spam and Crisco" Fri Jul 24 06:04:23 -0700 2009 4855990 24492 jumpingmonk 1 4856231 As a person whose musical talent only reaches to turning on the radio, I'm just in awe! It is a little scary, but really wonderful! (Rushes off to forward the link for future ideas my SO can use when serenading me!) Mon Jul 13 23:55:54 -0700 2009 4850137 111267 meatn3 1 4856932 Born on a cook top in Tennessee, Beaniest state in the land of the free. Braised over wood so's he cut down every tree, Skilleted him a bear when he was only three. Davy, Davy Crockpot King of the Wild Cookware. Tue Jul 14 08:00:56 -0700 2009 4850137 36661 Sam Fujisaka 1 4857032 Oh, give me Spam, lots of Spam under greasy clouds above, Don't fence me in. Let me eat my way through the junk food country that I love, Don't fence me in. Let me be by myself with the deep fat fryer, please, And listen to the sizzle of the gristle and cheese, Send me off to Taco Hell, but I ask you please, Don't fence me in. Just turn me loose, let me waddle my old saddle Underneath the junkfood aisles. On my big ass, let me wander over yonder Till I see the mountains of fries. I want to eat all the crap till I fall over defenseless And suck down the lard till I lose my senses And I can't look at greens and I can't stand healthy Don't fence me in. Oh, give me jam, lots of jam under sugar skies above Don't fence me in. Let me waddle through the Wendy’s and the Burger Kings I love, Don't fence me in. Let me be by myself with a sack of Twinkies And listen to the murmur of my overstressed arteries Send me off to dinner but I ask you please, Don't fence me in Just turn me loose, let me waddle to the counter Underneath the greasy pizza pies On my big ass, let me wander over yonder Till I see the mountains of fries. Ba boo ba ba boo. I want to eat at the fridge where the fat commences And graze like a goon till I lose my senses And I can't look at veggies and I can't stand fishies Don't fence me in. No, don't you fence me in Tue Jul 14 08:22:57 -0700 2009 4850137 36661 Sam Fujisaka 2 4857277 I love how you went all Wild West on both of your tunes, Sam! LOL Tue Jul 14 09:18:23 -0700 2009 4857032 10532 LindaWhit 3 4857504 Captain Pissgums and the Gay Cowboys was a stingband with songs based on old-timey, Applachian, and Texas cowboy music. The song adaptations were similar, but made into gay rather than food tunes. Tue Jul 14 10:17:40 -0700 2009 4857277 36661 Sam Fujisaka 1 4857602 Sung to: The Macarena One box, a'two box, a box of macaroni One box, a'two box, a box of macaroni Butter and cheese mix and milk and macaroni Kraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaft macaroni! I can do better then that. But that one we've sung at my house for years. Not eaten it. Just sung it. Tue Jul 14 10:40:28 -0700 2009 4850137 113176 jmckee 1 4857605 I like Big Macs and I can not lie You other brothers can't deny That when you see that thing with its big ole taste And its round bun in your face You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough 'Cause you notice them buns is stuffed Deep in the greens they're wearing Secret sauce and I can't stop staring Oh Big Mac, I wanna get with you And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me But that bun looks so food porny. Ooh, Rump-o'-cow-meat You say you wanna be my treat? Well, go gurl, go gurl 'Cause you ain't that average burger. I've seen them cheaters, To hell with La Frieda's! You real deal Got it goin' like value meal. I'm tired of magazines Sayin' BK is the thing Take the average man and ask him that It gotta pack more fat So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!) Have you greased up in that bun? (Hell yeah!) Tell 'em to load it! (Load it!) Load it! (Load it!) Load that secret sauce! Big Mac is back! I like 'em round, and big And when I'm throwin' a gig I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal Now here's my scandal I wanna get you home And mmm, triple buns, mmm, MMM! I ain't talkin' bout Popeye's 'Cause chicken just ain't for real guys. I want beef real thick and juicy So find that juicy double JungMann's in trouble Drippin' secret sauce down my stubble, So I'm lookin' at TB promos Grease-soaked gut bombs sittin' all gross? You can have them tacos, I'll keep my dollars, you pesos.... Big Mac is back. Tue Jul 14 10:42:14 -0700 2009 4850137 68363 JungMann 2 4858139 Ahahahahahahah!! Awesome. Even better than the original! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB53M1kGM3A I'm surprised no one's done My Milkshake (by Kelis). Tue Jul 14 12:58:04 -0700 2009 4857605 64215 cimui 3 4858996 LOL...first at JungMann (CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!!!), then at you for the milkshake comment. HA HA HA! Tue Jul 14 17:11:56 -0700 2009 4858139 249664 kattyeyes 2 4859008 Oh my gosh the talent you all have been keeping under wraps. Tue Jul 14 17:15:21 -0700 2009 4857605 137755 Sal Vanilla 2 4863713 LMAO!!! Very clever!! Thu Jul 16 07:48:33 -0700 2009 4857605 174753 NellyNel 2 4865921 JungMann - I would have never guessed - a closet rapper? I keep hearing the lyrics to Big Butts in my head, tho, as I read your food lyrics - ha! Thu Jul 16 18:37:02 -0700 2009 4857605 71241 lynnlato 1 4857653 To the tune of "Cecilia" by Simon and Garfunkle Salami, you're breaking my heart You're clogging my arteries daily Oh Salami, I'm looking for cheese I'm begging for mustard and rye Eating lunch in the afternoon with salami Up in my kitchen (eating lunch) I got up to find some beets When I got back to lunch Someone's eatin' my meat Oh Salami, you're breaking my heart You're clogging my arteries daily Oh Salami, I'm looking for cheese I'm begging for mustard and rye Jubilation, the deli delivers I call out for food and I'm laughing Jubilation, the deli delivers I call out for food and I'm laughing Tue Jul 14 10:56:06 -0700 2009 4850137 18072 Niki in Dayton 1 4857791 The limmeric thread wasn't bad enough - you HAD to go ahead and start this one. There is something so not right about doing this to us poor chow pups. Tue Jul 14 11:31:55 -0700 2009 4850137 90359 PattiCakes 1 4858051 A Brisket's Lament As I lay on the cutting board, As I lay out on the cutting board one day, I spied a poor brisket wrapped up in white paper, Wrapped up in white paper, as cold as the clay. "Oh, beat the drumstick slowly and whisk the whisk lowly, Play the grill march as you carry me along; Take me to the green Weber, there lay the sauce o'er me, For I'm a young brisket and I know I've done wrong. "I see by your outfit that you are a brisket" -- These words he did say as I boldly stepped by. "Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story; I’ll be par boiled in a pot and I know I must die. "Let sixteen prime steaks come handle my drippings Let sixteen sirloins come sing me a song. They’ll take me to the crockpot and lay the sauce o'er me, For I'm a poor brisket and I know I've done wrong. "My friends and relations they live in the freezer, They know not where their boy has gone. He first grazed in Texas and was owned by a ranchman, Oh, I'm a young brisket and I know I've done wrong. "It was once in the saddle of lamb I used to go dashing, It was once in the saddle of lamb I used to go gay; First to the porter house and then to the BBQ house; Got put in a crockpot and I am dying today. "Get six jolly burger patties to carry my coffin; Get six pretty pork bellies to bear up my pall. Put bunches of rosemary all over my crock pot, Put rosemary to deaden the spuds as they fall. "Then swing your fork slowly and rattle your spoons lowly, And give a wild whoop as you carry me along, And in the crock pot throw me and roll the sauce o'er me, For I'm a young brisket and I know I've done wrong. "Oh, bury beside me my chef’s knife and vegetable peeler, My thermometer on my heel, my ladle by my side, And over my crockpot put a bottle of brandy, That the briskets may marinade as they carry me along. "Go bring me a cup, a cup of dry rub, To ready me for the BBQ," the brisket then said; Before I returned his soul had departed, And gone to the crockpot -- the brisket was dead. We beat the drumstick slowly and whisked the whisk lowly, And bitterly wept as we bore him along; For we all loved our brisket, so brave, young and handsome, We all loved our brisket, although he'd done wrong. Tue Jul 14 12:41:03 -0700 2009 4850137 36661 Sam Fujisaka 2 4858182 *sniffle* I am moved. Poor l'il brisket. Tue Jul 14 13:07:52 -0700 2009 4858051 64215 cimui 2 4858187 oh, "the streets of Laredo" Aka "The Cowboy's Lament" . Actually now that I think about it Paul Shanklin did a foodie based on that too all about Mondavi (the wine). Theres also his "I Can't Help Eating Too Much Fast Food" ("I Can't Help Falling in Love With You) which is hilarious because Shanklin's actually pretty good at faking Elvis (I may not agree with his political and social views, but from a technical point of view with regards to parody, Shanklin is brillant.) I have another idea but this one I'm gonna need some help with since all I got is a title and song base. How about "Tub of Margarine" ("Yellow Submarine") anyone want to help and then of couse there's what one should sing everytime ones goes out for Chinese Noodles "And we'll eat Fun, Fun, Fun 'till our waiter takes the teabags away...." Oh and a bit I came up with a few year ago (chorus only, alas) called "Ode to Sandwich" (Tune is "Drift Away") Oh, give me roast beef, boys,and cheese with holes, I wanna spread sauce on a rustic roll and munch away" Tue Jul 14 13:08:26 -0700 2009 4858051 24492 jumpingmonk 3 4858462 You do know that there are treatment facilities for this. You go away for a week or so, listen to classical music and think happy thoughts.... Tue Jul 14 14:20:41 -0700 2009 4858187 90359 PattiCakes 3 4858562 Here you go: Fun, chow fun (til the waiter took the tea pot away) Well she got her chair shiu And she cruised through the pork chow mien now Seems she forgot all about the dim sum Like she told her old man now And with the black bean beef and snow peas Goes chop sueying just as fast as she can now And shell have fun chow fun til the waiter takes the tea pot away (fun chow fun til the waiter takes the tea pot away) Well the waiters cant stand her cause she orders and plates and eats like an ace now (you eat like an ace now you eat like an ace) She makes all of Chinatown look like a Lazy Susan race now (you look like an ace now you look like an ace) A lotta guys try to catch her But she leads them to the wild plum goose sauce now (you eat like an ace now you eat like an ace) And shell have fun chow fun til her the waiter takes the tea pot away (fun chow fun til the waiter takes the tea pot away) Well you knew all along That the waiter was getting’ wise to you now (you shouldn’t have lied now you shouldn’t have lied) And since he took your goo gai pan You’ve been thinking that your fortune cookie is all through now (you shouldn’t have flied lice now you shouldn’t have flied lice) But you can come along with me cause we gotta a lot of bad Chinese to eat now (you shouldn’t have flied lice now you shouldn’t have flied lice) And well have fun chow fun now that the waiter took the tea pot away (fun chow fun now that the waiter took the tea pot away) And well have fun chow fun now that the waiter took the tea pot away (fun chow fun now that the waiter took the tea pot away) (chow fun now that the waiter took the tea pot away) (chow n fun now that the waiter took the tea pot away) (chow fun now that the waiter took the tea pot away) (chow fun now that the waiter took the tea pot away) (chow fun now that the waiter took the tea pot away) (chow fun now that the waiter took the tea pot away) Tue Jul 14 14:46:40 -0700 2009 4858187 36661 Sam Fujisaka 4 4859013 Love it! Tue Jul 14 17:18:02 -0700 2009 4858562 249664 kattyeyes 1 4858476 Out in the West Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican dish. Night-time would find me in Rosa's cantina; Music would play to the smell of fried fish. Blacker than night were the strips of fahita, Wicked and evil with a fried onion smell. My love was deep for this Mexican sizzler; I was in love as my waist line can tell. One night a wild young cowboy came in, Wild as the West Texas wind. My pleasure was fleeting, The meal I was eating My darling fahitas Were knocked to the floor So in anger I Challenged his right said I wanted another Up went his finger and loudly he swore I hit him once, in less than a heart beat He measured his length laid out cold on the floor Just for a moment I stood there in silence, Then looked around in case he had friends Many thoughts raced through my mind as I stood there; Bravery's fine, but caution transcends. Out through the back door of Rosa's I ran, Out to my bike which I'd chained. But by that border There's no law and order My bike had gone missing And nothing remained. So quickly I dashed.. Out thru the back streets and roads of El Paso Out to the motels, the North side of town. Without that Cantina my life became worthless. Everything's gone in life; nothing remains. It's been so long since I've tackled a taco My love is stronger than my fear of pain. I called a taxi, away I did go, Riding alone in the back. Watching the meter We drove back to Rita. Tonight nothing's worse than this Need for a snack. And at last here I Am on that street, a bad part of El Paso; Should I go in, I must decide. My fear is strong but I push the door open. I catch the smell of fahitas inside Off to my right I see five guys in denim; Off to my left are a half-dozen more. They pick up the pool cues I daren't let them catch me. I suddenly find I am hungry no more. Something is dreadfully wrong for I feel A deep burning pain in my ass. I've been attacked But my jewels are intact, Was it a toe or a cue or a glass? But my love for Fahitas are calling, I rise where I've fallen, I turn to the bar and I order a meal I see the white puff of smoke from the frier.. I breathe the aromas, the smell is surreal. From out of nowhere the bouncer has found me, Tells all those cowboys to let me pass by Nestled on lettuce with beans and some onions, One final bite and Fahitas, good-bye. Tue Jul 14 14:24:42 -0700 2009 4850137 154622 Paulustrious 2 4858589 And one more from me, Since several of you (espcially Sam) seem to like to do it to old western/ C&W I though I'd do one too. The last lament of the unaplogetic eates of trash food. The tune is "Coal Tatoo" ; please note I'm using the Kingston Trio version (that being the one I know) in case the Dolly Parton one scans a bit different okay here goes Travelin' down that fast food strip Listen to my rubber tires sqeal goodby to Wendy's and Jack in the Box I need a greasier meal I been a junk eater all of my life, nuthin' will make me cease got a gut like a balloon ready bout to burst sweat as slick as the grease Somebody said "That's a lot of red marks, You got on your gut, thighs and chops." I said "That the markin's left by the fat" "A little more and my heart stops But I love the texture, and I love the taste I love the feel in mah mouth And I cant stop this need on the base of my health no matter how far it goes south." I stood for the transfats and walked in the line and fought 'gainst the heath board,NYC I stood for the right for all food to taste good now who's gonna stand for me? I lost my shape an' I lost my tone just got a big spare wheels and a dickey heart that about to fall apart left by the number five meal. Someday when I'm dead and gone an sent to my eternal rest I won't have to worry 'bout chest pains or stokes or what's on my blood sugar test IU ain't gonna pay my money away for sprouts,tofu, or brewers yeast I'm gonna chow down while my soul still around then go to that Heavenly feast. Tue Jul 14 14:54:13 -0700 2009 4858476 24492 jumpingmonk 2 4861718 Fab!! Wed Jul 15 13:47:54 -0700 2009 4858476 36661 Sam Fujisaka 3 4862076 Thank you. Wed Jul 15 15:44:50 -0700 2009 4861718 154622 Paulustrious 1 4858654 I am so glad I started this thread! What a great bunch of creative minds/palates! You guys are awesome! Tue Jul 14 15:14:38 -0700 2009 4850137 97804 cmvan 1 4858691 To the tune of "Life is Like a Mountain Railway" Life is Like a Trip to McDonald's Life is like a trip to McDonald’s, With a drive through that’s paved; We must make the run successful, From the Happy Meal to the McRib; Watch the fries, the fillets, the burgers; Never saltier, sometimes stale; Keep your hands upon the ketchup, And your eyes upon your shake. Chorus: Blessed Ronald, Thou wilt guide us, Till we reach that trans-fat shore, When the Angels wait to join us In Thy grease ring for evermore. You will ask for Chicken McNuggets; You will taste the filet of fish; See that Ronald is your conductor On this fastfood train of life; Always mindful of anal obstruction, Do your duty, never fail; Keep your hands upon the buffalo sauce And your eyes upon your Egg McMuffin. Chorus: You will often face anal obstructions, Look for indigestion, burps, and constipation; Once you’re filled, or full, or bloated They will almost ditch your butter galic croutons; Put your trust alone in McDonald’s, Never falter, never fail; Keep your hands upon Newman’s Own Ranch Dressing, And your eyes upon the sausage biscuit. Chorus: As you roll across the restaurant, Spanning your britches’ swelling tide, You behold your jiggling thighs Into which your train of thought will glide; There you'll meet the Superintendent, Ronald McDonald, Ronald the clown, With the hearty, joyous plaudit, "Big assed Pilgrim, welcome home." Chorus: Tue Jul 14 15:25:37 -0700 2009 4850137 36661 Sam Fujisaka 1 4858698 here's one for the current situation to the tune of Rocket Man! I packed some bags again last night it was almost 9 pm and I'm gonna be bored again and again I miss New York so much I miss my life it's lonely on register 3 it's such a timeless plight And I think it's gonna be a long long time till the economy turns again for me to find I'm not the man they think I am at home oh no no no I'm a Publix man Publix man stacking shelves and pricing all alone This ain't the kinda place to work my back in fact it's dull as hell and there's no-one like there was at Goldman Sachs and all these aisles I don't understand it's just my job 5 days a week a Publix man, a Publix man Tue Jul 14 15:27:27 -0700 2009 4850137 22559 smartie 1 4858793 STOP! in the name of food Before we all are screwed; think it over ... Hey, Monsanto, we're aware of what you done And all the legal battles you have won But each time I read about you I'm so sure we can live without you So next time, before you f*ck with genes Think how what you're doing means It's not corn now (no, no...) Cuz it's part cow (no, no....) STOP! In the name of food Before we all are screwed; think it over.... fade...... adam Tue Jul 14 16:01:46 -0700 2009 4850137 154787 adamshoe 1 4858856 And while I'm in a Motown mood....wrote a little song. Like t' hear it?; here it goes.... Whoa, mercy mercy me Size ain't what it used to be They shrunk the Chicken of the Sea I guess that means less mercury? Whoa, mercy mercy me Pints ain't what they used to be They changed 'em all to fourteen ounces Do they think that we can't countses? And my mayonnaise (woo-ooh...) Yeah what about that mayonnaise? (mmm-hmm....) Well, it always was a quart before Now it ain't a quart no more Oh, mercy, mercy me...etc....fade..... adam Tue Jul 14 16:24:44 -0700 2009 4850137 154787 adamshoe 2 4859022 Hey, DJ, can I make a request? While you're goin' the Marvin Gaye way, someone do "Gotta Give It Up." I love that tune and for sure there's a food version just itchin' to join this thread. ;) Tue Jul 14 17:20:44 -0700 2009 4858856 249664 kattyeyes 1 4858986 Please tell me you made that up! That first bit was priceless. Tue Jul 14 17:07:54 -0700 2009 4850137 137755 Sal Vanilla 2 4859046 All of my work is a product of my own twisted little mind...scary, no? adam Tue Jul 14 17:29:28 -0700 2009 4858986 154787 adamshoe 1 4859070 And now, in a tribute to Julie Andrews... Stuff ev'ry cabbage Bard ev'ry bird Heed to what I'm saying Ev'ry single word For I'm Chris Kimball I'd never lie We test things forever Heart crossed and hope to die So, faithful reader Hear what I say I would never dick you Please subscribe today. Peace out, my brain hurts now!! adam Tue Jul 14 17:38:12 -0700 2009 4850137 154787 adamshoe 1 4859337 "First I was afraid, I was petrified That all this food I eat had widened my backside..." --I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor) Tue Jul 14 19:10:17 -0700 2009 4850137 249664 kattyeyes 2 4860269 Absolutely irrelevant this...I was outside this shop (Mark's Work Warehouse clearance centre in Toronto) yesterday and there was a sign on the door... Women's Trousers Blowout. Wed Jul 15 07:00:43 -0700 2009 4859337 154622 Paulustrious 3 4863219 bravo! Thu Jul 16 04:12:21 -0700 2009 4860269 105717 alkapal 1 4859424 Obviously I didn't wirte this but since nobody mentioned it yet and I've always found it amusing: On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed... Tue Jul 14 19:40:49 -0700 2009 4850137 69044 hsk 1 4862016 Apologies to Eric Burdon and The Animals... There was a horse in New Orleans we raised him like a son he's been the meat in many a po' boy And God, I know, I et more than one. My mother was a farmer she growed us okra and beans My father was an etouffee man Down in New Orleans Now the only thing an etouffee man needs is a beignet and a drink And the only time he's satisfied Is when he's barfing in the sink. Oh mother, tell your children not to serve a horse 'til he's done. He made for a great jambalaya that horse we raised like a son. Well, I got a boudin from hip meat on my fork, a chunk of shoulder I'm goin' back to New Orleans A little wiser and older. There was a horse in New Orleans we raised him like a son. He's been the meat in many a po' boy. And God, I know, I et more than one. Wed Jul 15 15:19:36 -0700 2009 4850137 57170 Veggo 2 4862239 Frickin' hilarious! Good on yer, bro! Wed Jul 15 16:51:53 -0700 2009 4862016 36661 Sam Fujisaka 2 4862369 terrific these have been fun to read and fun to re-write Wed Jul 15 17:37:35 -0700 2009 4862016 22559 smartie 2 4862434 Kudos. I'm lovin' the talent on this thread. Wed Jul 15 17:58:44 -0700 2009 4862016 17562 FoodFuser 1 4862531 My above-posted recipe for Beef Burgundy, set to "Battle Hymn of the Republic", must be balanced by an equivalent treatment using "Dixie", if I am to remain a politically correct dude. Verse: I'm glad that I'm in the land of cotton Grandma's cookin' ne'er forgotten Cook away!... Cook away!... Cook away!... DixieLand. Chorus: I'm glad that I'm in Dixie, I am... I am... Where okra grows, and toh-may-toes and eggplant rise so frisky I'll stay!... I'll stay!... I'll stuff my mouth... in Dixie! Wed Jul 15 18:48:09 -0700 2009 4850137 17562 FoodFuser 2 4862585 I wish I was in the land of BBQ Old times there are not forgotten Smoke away! Smoke away! Dry rub away! BBQ Land. In BBQ Land where I was born in Early on one smoky mornin' BBQ away! BBQ away! Dry rub away! BBQ Land. Chorus: O, I wish I was doin BBQ! Hooray! Hooray! In BBQ Land I'll take my stand To live and die for BBQ Away, away, And try my sauce on BBQ! Rubbed meat put to indirect heat, Huge rib racks there to deliver BBQ away! BBQ away! BBQ away! BBQ Land. But when he put pork butt around her Hit looked as fierce as a forty pounder BBQ away! BBQ away! Dry rub away! BBQ Land. Chorus: O, I wish I was doin BBQ! Hooray! Hooray! In BBQ Land I'll take my stand To live and die in BBQ Away, away, And try my sauce on BBQ! Them ribs were cut by that sharp butcher's cleaver But that did not seem to grieve her BBQ away! BBQ away! BBQ away! BBQ Land. Some Hounds acted the foolish part And tried to toss the meat in a crockpot No frickin’ way! No frickin’ way! BBQ away! BBQ Land. Chorus: O, I wish I was in BBQ Land! Hooray! Hooray! In BBQ Land I'll take my stand To live and die in BBQ Away, away, And with my sauce on BBQ! Wed Jul 15 19:10:07 -0700 2009 4862531 36661 Sam Fujisaka 3 4866325 Verse: When a food dude lives in the land of cotton He can smoke the meats that he has boughten And admit.... that the pit Gives best taste to be gotten. Chorus: There's pits down here in Dixie For sure...there be. Fueled by the genus Hickory That gives the greatest smoke ring. Those curves, when served Give prime results in Dixie! Verse: Since the hic-ko-ry is here for pit Those crockpot ways... just won't hit Sure, they pull, but it's bull When compared to the real smoke ring Chorus: I'll keep my wood fire stokin' I will... I will... "Til that meat takes the smokin' that gives it the greatest flavor. The wood... is good... when... one... smokes... meat....... in Dixie! Thu Jul 16 22:02:23 -0700 2009 4862585 17562 FoodFuser 4 4866823 I'm a Food Fuser Watchin' food fuse by ... to that most asinine but catchy, "I'm a girl watcher" Fri Jul 17 06:40:14 -0700 2009 4866325 36661 Sam Fujisaka 5 4867820 ...mmm my oh my... verse two: I'd not refuse her If she fed FoodFuser something on the sly... ....mmm my oh my.... Fri Jul 17 12:01:46 -0700 2009 4866823 17562 FoodFuser 1 4863704 An ode to Michael Jackson...and my favorite sandwich: (Sung to the tune of P.Y.T (Pretty Young Thing) (2nd verse) Nothin' can stop me eatin' Desire to eat you Gotta eat you baby Won't you come, it's emergency Cool my belly yearning Sandwich, come set me free Don't you know now is the perfect time We can dim the lights So I can take a bite You are so right Hit my hunger spot I'll eat up all that I got.. I want to eat you (B.L.T) big juicy thing You need some mayo (B.L.T.) big juicy thing Smokey bacon there No sharin's fair I want to eat you (B.L.T.) Fatty food thing Bread needs some toastin' (B.L.T.) Juicy tomato's And lettuce there I want to eat you (B.L.T.)...... Thu Jul 16 07:46:49 -0700 2009 4850137 174753 NellyNel 2 4864489 I actually sang the chorus of this after an accident in the food hall in college The mayonniase rots in the hot sun, I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won,I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won My trouser's spatterd with a white scum I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won,I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won a mound of salad knocked off my plate by my Hamburger bun am I under a curse of is this just fate? I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won,I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won Through the fabric the cabbge juice has run I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won,I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won No my pants are ruine and it's no fun I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won,I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won My firiend are pointing and laughing at me as if its one big pun humilation's such misery I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won,I fought Coleslaw and Coleslaw won (repeat til end of song) (To the tune of "I fought the law" (preferbly the orginal version by the crickets) someting has also ocurred to me namely that several of the mondergreens (misheard song lyrics) from those little books I used to own could be turned into full parodies. I dont know a lot of the songs well enough but maybe someone out there does so I'll give a few "I sat in sherbert" ("I Shot the sherrif") "When a man loves a walnut" ("When a man loves a woman") Wish I could do more but I dont ahve those books anymore Thu Jul 16 10:57:13 -0700 2009 4863704 24492 jumpingmonk 2 4865847 Never did a B.L.T. sound quite so sexy--and the Michael Jackson tribute just put it right over the top for me. NICE GOIN', GIRLFRIEND! :) Thu Jul 16 18:05:47 -0700 2009 4863704 249664 kattyeyes 1 4865908 My friend used to sing "No Burger No Fry" to Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry" all the time when we were younger. To this day I cannot sing it any other way when I hear it. Thu Jul 16 18:32:38 -0700 2009 4850137 71241 lynnlato 2 4865919 And we used to sing "Buffalo Chicken" to "Buffalo Soldier" every time they served buffalo chicken salad in the cafeteria at work. "It was a buffalo chicken. Served in the cafeteria. Ay ya ya. Ay ya ya. A ya ya ya ya ya ya ya." Thu Jul 16 18:36:09 -0700 2009 4865908 249664 kattyeyes 1 4865959 There is also Fry Me a Liver Thu Jul 16 18:59:41 -0700 2009 4850137 22559 smartie 2 4865981 "Climb Every Mountain" (apologies to "The Sound of Music" lovers): Deep chocolate fountain! Rich, creamy dream! Dip some cake or a berry It can be quite obscene! Thu Jul 16 19:10:05 -0700 2009 4865959 249664 kattyeyes 1 4869556 When it gets a little slow at the neighborhood water hole, we like to substitute the word "lunch" for the word "love" in song titles, ie. " I'm All Out of Lunch" " Lunch is a Many Splendored Thing" "Got a Whole Lotta Lunch" "It's a Lunch Thing" ...We need a life, don't we? Sat Jul 18 06:13:31 -0700 2009 4850137 1081665 calliopethree 2 4869562 Like everything is better if followed by the words "in bed"? Sat Jul 18 06:19:34 -0700 2009 4869556 137946 Scargod 3 4869566 That's fun to do with fortune cookies. I love knowing I'm not the only one who does that. HA HA! Sat Jul 18 06:20:57 -0700 2009 4869562 249664 kattyeyes 2 4869568 I remember waiting for dinner and playing the piano with my friend while at summer camp. We did "Dinner Food" instead of Billy Joel's "Honesty"... "Dinnnnnnnnnner food Is such a tasty word And mostly what I need From youuuuuuuuu..." Here's another one on your angle: "People all over the world! Join in! Start a lunch train--lunch train!" :) Sat Jul 18 06:22:36 -0700 2009 4869556 249664 kattyeyes 3 4871232 "in the *lunch room* with white curtains..." Sun Jul 19 05:03:24 -0700 2009 4869568 105717 alkapal 1 4879417 I can't get no caramelization I can't get no caramelization and I fry, and I fry, and I fry, and I fry, I can't get no... I'd better stop. Tue Jul 21 20:56:24 -0700 2009 4850137 32941 Rmis32 2 4880024 LMAO!!! Wed Jul 22 06:13:31 -0700 2009 4879417 174753 NellyNel 1 4879920 I've gotta change my chowish ways, baby I keep eating and my clothes get tight I can't go on, baby Eatin' like a bird so I can feast at night I need a shoehorn To squeeze in To my favorite jeans I keep on walkin' and tryin' To eat more lean I can't go onnnnnnn Lord knows I've gotta change. With apologies to Santana, who may even appreciate women who are not stick figures. ;) Keep those hits comin', people! Wed Jul 22 05:32:31 -0700 2009 4850137 249664 kattyeyes 2 4880050 I love this! Katty - I will never hear "Evil Ways" the same way ever again! Wed Jul 22 06:19:24 -0700 2009 4879920 174753 NellyNel 1 4880281 You ain't nothin' but a chow hound Eatin' all the time You ain't nothin' but a chow hound Eatin' all the time Well, you've cooked up a rabbit And flavoured it with thyme And they said you loved a buffet Well, that was just a lie Yeah they said you loved a buffet Well, that was just a lie For you its gotta be a BARBEQUE With pulled pork on the side Wed Jul 22 07:24:57 -0700 2009 4850137 283388 waytob 2 4882681 PERFECT! Scargod, this one's got your name written all over it! Once again, way to go, waytob! ;) Wed Jul 22 19:24:13 -0700 2009 4880281 249664 kattyeyes