Battimamzelle, Port of Spain, Trinidad Report

[kchowder]

My fiancee and I had dinner at Battimamzelle on our last night in Trinidad and Tobago, thinking we'd cap off a lovely vacation by splurging. What a mistake!

I feel slightly guilty about panning a restaurant on the basis of a single visit. But. Battimamzelle is hyped as Trinidad's best restaurant in every conceivable guidebook (and elsewhere on Chowhound), so I'd like to put my two cents in.

Battimamzelle is brutally, grotesquely overpriced and stunningly mediocre. Apparently, dignitaries, heads of state and other Big Important People have dined here, so Battimamzelle has quite a reputation. But there was something oddly Sunset Boulevard about entering their dark, empty outdoor seating area that really should have indicated to us what we were in for. We should have taken the hint when we had the chance and gotten the hell out of there. Instead, we ordered appetizers.

We had curried crab ravioli and spinach soup to start. Puzzlingly, instead of the soup, the waitress brought out a seafood bouillabaisse appetizer we had merely inquired about (and which was twice the price of the soup). The crab ravioli was passable, if a little too chewy; the bouillabaisse was atrocious. Gummy, shrivelled seafood of the kind you'd get in a freezer-burned brick at a cheap supermarket swimming in an unremarkable tomato broth. Strike one.

The main course was even more egregiously awful.

My fiancee had a lamb fillet that was artfully arranged together with some sort of sweet potato concoction crammed into a wonton shell. Basically, his dish was designed to be photographed, not eaten. All plating and no flavor.

I had "citrus grilled shrimp and scallop" on a bed of greens. You would think that in an island nation, the seafood would shine. Nope. This turned out to be a Red Lobster quality entree. The shrimp was tough and dried out; the scallops were hacked into tough little bite-size chunks; both tasted less like seafood than the disgusting marinade, which left a whiff of orange juice, raw garlic and liquid smoke all over everything. This was arranged atop a bed of mercilessly sweating lettuce greens that were composting under the carnage that was strewn over it. Revolting.

Not even the cocktails were any good. Stupidly, I ordered a Hurricane. This is a rum concoction of the kind that is meant to be cloyingly sweet, highly alcoholic and complemented with an umbrella. So I should have known better. It was like drinking fruit punch concentrate right out of the can.

The real kicker was the bill. The entire misadventure ended up costing about 850 TT, which works out to around $150.

Now, it's not as if we didn't realize how expensive everything was as we were ordering. But we wrongly assumed that if the prices were as breathtakingly high as they were (there was a $63 lobster tail entree, for example), they would deliver quality to match.

So basically, I'd say that if you have scads of money and absolutely no taste, by all means, head to Battimamzelle next time you're in Trinidad. Otherwise, save your money and just get a roti in St. James instead.

[strang506]

Hiya i'm a Trini now in living in the uk. I can begin to say how sorry i am about what happened. That dish you had is not typical or trinidad and sounds absolutely vile. When it comes to Trini you never go by a guide book. Trindad is a place you venture into and try things you feel safe trying for yourself instead of following a stupid book. As for the bill. O.M.G you got severly robbed !!!! I'm stunned at that there is simply no words for it. Trinidad has alot to offer so if ever you decide to visit again do be adventurous and try things, ask the locals about places to dine they know more about good food than any guide book.

[JGJohnson]

I believe that Battimamzelle's reputation was based on the merits of previous chef and management. It was, during those years my favorite restaurant in Trinidad. Since that chef Khalid Mohammed (hope spelling of his name is correct) has opened his own restaurant CHAUD situated on the Queen's Park Savannah, I have moved my loyalty as well. Chaud is exorbitantly priced, but each time I have felt that I got my money's worth both based on food and service. I have dined in many cities of the world and CHAUD matches all and surpasses many restaurants I have tried abroad. Try it next time you're in town.