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What natural food would you change if you could?

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For me, it would be eggs. Twice as much yolk and very little white. You could still buy regular eggs for cooking. And steaks. I would make all steaks tender and juicy and un-screw-up-able. Do you have a food item you'd like to personalize?

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  1. I would make fava beans less annoying to deal with.

    I am so with you on the egg.

    28 Replies
    1. re: Sal Vanilla

      Hey Sal, I read your bio. You've been to Doe's Eat Place in the Delta? I've gone there all my life; have relatives in Leland and Greenville. Love that place.

      1. re: bayoucook

        I have... many times. Sigh... I miss The South.

      2. re: Sal Vanilla

        I actually love the process of shelling/popping the membranes off favas. I find it sort of therapeutic. Is that odd?

        1. re: tatamagouche

          No, not odd at all. I find defuzzing sweaters and picking off every last pill therapeutic. I am also the designated mincer in the house. Although... my sister attributes that to pent up anger and frustration. I attribute her analysis to transference ; )

          1. re: Sal Vanilla

            Yay! Love puling the sheet of lint off the screen in the dryer too. And will stop there before I delve into TMI.

            Funny thing is right after the above comment I went right out and bought some favas. I've got a wonderful salad recipe that also includes peas, shaved zucchini, parmesan, lots of lemon juice and olive oil...

            1. re: tatamagouche

              MMM Yumba sounding salad!

              I love pulling the lint out of the screen to. One piece - accept no less. I love it when it thick with whooly pieces from the dog bed. I swear that lint could be gathered and spun into yarn. Talk about recycling.

              A couple days ago on this very posting, I think it was the orig poster - anyway she mentioned about eggs needing two yolks and ditching most of the whites - I went out shortly after reading that and got an egg. I broke it open and what do you guess I saw?

              Yup. Two yolks.

              1. re: Sal Vanilla

                I am SO jealous! (orig poster)

                1. re: bayoucook

                  I smiled and thought of you. The yolks were really big too - but strangely fragile.

                2. re: Sal Vanilla

                  One of the stores I shop regularly carries double yolk eggs.
                  Wonder what those chickens are eating??

                  1. re: The Professor

                    I don't think it's what they're eating--they're chewing Doublemint gum.

                3. re: tatamagouche

                  that sounds like an amazing salad that i'd devour in one sitting.... recipe?

                  1. re: kubasd

                    It's actually really simple—I mean, that's pretty much it. The zucchini's raw, but shaved (or sliced) very thin, enough so the pieces are limp, if you know what I mean. Don't overcook the peas/favas, of course. Shave or chunk the parmesan; I prefer that to shredding/grating so it doesn't get soggy. Drizzle with good olive oil and plenty of lemon juice. You can add a little chiffonaded basil too if you like...really you could play with it in all sorts of ways, I imagine.

            2. re: Sal Vanilla

              I want my eggs with less yolk and double the white.... just get rid of that squiggley white rooster cum thingie.

              1. re: janetms383

                Thanks Janet!! Yecch... I'll never be able to get that visual out of my brain now!! Can we just agree to acronym it to RCT from now on? Is that REALLY what that is?? No one ever mentions it in polite society... ;) adam

                1. re: adamshoe

                  And...granola for breakfast tomorrow.

                  1. re: adamshoe

                    The chalaza keeps the yolk suspended in the middle of the egg.

                    1. re: babette feasts

                      It's called a chalaza? Sounds vaguely Hebrew...;) Off to google that word now.
                      Thanks Babs (if I may call you that.) adam

                  2. re: janetms383

                    I do NOT want to think about that. It really doesn't matter anyway, white is tasteless.

                    1. re: bayoucook

                      Egg whites are far from flavorless.

                      1. re: danieljdwyer

                        ok, I'll give you that; they're just lacking the rich gooeyness of yolks...

                    2. re: janetms383

                      I agree with you on the egg principle and HAHAHAHA on the RCT but what is it really? Is its purpose really to keep the yolk suspended as babbette says?

                      1. re: Cebca

                        Yup. Just google chalaza. It's not really RCT. Interesting stuff on the inter web...
                        adam

                        1. re: adamshoe

                          I wouldn't lie to ya!

                          1. re: adamshoe

                            is the "ch" pronounced like chair or like challah?

                            1. re: Cebca

                              Like chair. I knew I took developmental bio. for some reason.

                          2. re: Cebca

                            Snip it with your fingers and see what happens.

                          3. re: janetms383

                            I hate that thing so much, when I can, I strain it out. gross.

                            1. re: janetms383

                              geez louise! What language! I think I will like this CHOWHOUND thing very much :) I am also all for more white half yolk.

                          4. More arti and no choke. An all dark meat turkey. Onions that don't make me cry.

                            8 Replies
                            1. re: phofiend

                              It's called duck, and tastes even better. Unfortunately you'll have to buy around 1 per person for Thansgiving, but happiness is worth it.

                              1. re: babette feasts

                                Or goose. You don't need as many. But as far as turkeys go, heritage birds are much less buxom.

                                1. re: alanbarnes

                                  Only get goose if one person in your household is a cosmetic surgeon experienced in liposuction.

                                  1. re: Cinnamon

                                    Duck is the same way, but I've found that steaming the bird before roasting renders away much of the fat. No liposuction required.

                                    Now there's a thought - maybe a really, really hot steam room is an alternative to gustatory self-control...

                                    1. re: alanbarnes

                                      Really? Might've been the birds I've gotten... have had no problem whatsoever with duck, it's always turned out beautifully. The ONE Christmas goose I made was a comedy of drainage.

                                      >Now there's a thought - maybe a really, really hot steam room is an alternative to gustatory self-control...<

                                      Beware any spa that offers to wrap you in a cozy dough blanket first.

                                      1. re: Cinnamon

                                        I sure hope you saved that precious "drainage" for cooking...there is nothing better for roasting potatoes than goose or duck fat.
                                        Nothing.

                                        1. re: The Professor

                                          Did save some of the goose fat - duck fat to my taste has been much better, not sure why or if it was the particular goose.

                              2. re: phofiend

                                I agree with the artichoke! So little edible parts =.=.

                              3. All fish would not have scales and pin bones. Roasted chicken skin would never come off of the meat when cutting up the bird.

                                6 Replies
                                1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                  Second that, Sam. There must be a way to keep that luscious skin on!

                                  1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                    No - the chicken would somehow be stratified, so that when roasted, you would have crispy skin, a thin layer of meat, crispy skin, a thin layer of meat...And the laws of the universe would mutate to allow this.

                                    Cay

                                    1. re: cayjohan

                                      That would be one freaky-looking bird.

                                      1. re: tatamagouche

                                        But tasty business! And aren't chickens a little freaky looking already? <g>

                                        Cay

                                        1. re: cayjohan

                                          Sort of a hybrid between a chicken and an onion.

                                      2. re: cayjohan

                                        I'm putting YOU in charge of my next Universe to live in. :P

                                    2. Octopi and conch would be tender enough so I don't have to beat them in their afterlife.

                                      1. Easy--shrimp...I DESPISE deveining those suckers...I know that you don't always have to & some people never do... but oy! What a total pita!

                                        8 Replies
                                        1. re: Val

                                          Yes! easy shrimp
                                          & oysters that gladly open without having to be shucked.

                                          1. re: beccabones

                                            Wouldn't it be nice if shrimp and lobbies fully excreted their poop instead of storing it all along their tails. Gaggers.

                                            Oh - a good way to get FL lobbie skat out easily: Bust off the last foot or so of their antenna, shove the broken part up his... um... bum from tail to carapice and then pull it back out. The antenna has little backward spines that grab its intestines and it all comes out attached to the antenna.

                                            A nifty and repulsive trick.

                                            1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                              Sal!!! Hil-AR-ious! I don't know wtf you just said, but I AM WITH YOU!!! AND I don't want to be any part of it!

                                              1. re: Val

                                                Weird...I kind of find this process therapeutic too. Something very satisfying about removing that little string.

                                                This thread is beginning to make me feel like a freak!

                                                1. re: tatamagouche

                                                  OMG I just spit my coffee all over my keyboard laughing at your post!

                                                  1. re: tatamagouche

                                                    Nope - I'm with you!
                                                    Even as a kid, I used to beg to de-vien the shrimp. I find it quite satisfying too!

                                                    1. re: NellyNel

                                                      You two - I could use you at Chez Sal!

                                                      1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                        even when I buy "deveined" shrimp, I find I still have stuff to remove..... My shrimpies have to be completely clean before I eat them, no exception.... and i enjoy it....

                                          2. In a perfect world, tomatoes would have a larger diameter, to accomodate my burger pictured here:

                                            http://www.thrillist.com/pics/safebur...

                                            1 Reply
                                            1. re: FoodFuser

                                              In my perfect world, tomatoes would be about an inch thick from blossom to stem end, so you could have my 2 favorite parts by slicing in 2 horizontally: the blossom end (which I like the best), and the stem end, with some but minimal seed cells between the two for moisture. And they would always taste like August Ontario field tomatoes, always!

                                            2. Lard and Bacon Drippings would be the same only chock-full of beneficial nutrients necessary to lower cholesterol. Wood smoke would be the only source of Vitamin S, absolutely required for whatever.

                                              15 Replies
                                              1. re: DockPotato

                                                And that copious consumption of them cured cancer and aided in weight loss. I mean... while we are at it.

                                                I saw yesterday on the news that bacon cures hangovers. Just one more reason to have it at the ready.

                                                1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                  http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/610544

                                                  While we're asking for fatty goodness to be good for you, can we add milkfat to the list? Then all those tasty things we make from it - cheese, butter, etc. - would actually lower our blood cholesterol and make us slimmer.

                                                  I'm on board with all dark-meat turkeys and chokeless artichokes, too. Wouldn't mind coreless cabbage, either.

                                                  1. re: Caitlin McGrath

                                                    We can certainly add those Caitlin. Gross oversight really!

                                                    1. re: Caitlin McGrath

                                                      We can go further with the artichokes than just de-choking them. I would also like them to have a higher food-to-trash ratio. And no thorns. With all those fibrous inedible parts, it's like the artichokes don't even WANT to be eaten. This is wrong.

                                                      1. re: small h

                                                        And they still charge 3-4 bucks a throw for a decent one. 'Splain it to me, Lucy.

                                                        1. re: Veggo

                                                          Well, Ricky, the only theory I have is that artichokes are that rare foodstuff that follows the bathing suit rule: as the functional surface area decreases, the price rises. Malcolm Gladwell might be too busy to address this issue right now, but I bet Alan Greenspan has some free time.

                                                        2. re: small h

                                                          Wonder who first tried them. Would you look at an artichoke the first time and say yum?

                                                          1. re: bayoucook

                                                            Maybe the same guy who ate the first oyster.

                                                          2. re: small h

                                                            Yes, get rid of the spines! First you get all these tiny little cuts all over your hand from the spiky leaves, then get lemon juice in every single one of them dressing the damn thing. That's just cruel and unusual.

                                                        3. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                          yes I read that too!! A bacon and white bread sandwich, the ideal hangover cure!! Personally I think bacon is overhyped (flinch, dont hit me!) but my boyfriend was thrilled.

                                                        4. re: DockPotato

                                                          I'm on board with all of this--from the bacon to the milkfat. I am especially drawn to the idea it will not only lower our cholesterol, but make us thinner! While we're at it, can we please fix avocados so the cholesterol kid here and all my friends can enjoy them without guilt?

                                                          1. re: kattyeyes

                                                            Avocados are full of fat, but it's healthy fat. Won't make you thinner, that's for sure, but only have a neutral-to-positive impact on your cholesterol stats.

                                                            1. re: kattyeyes

                                                              I'm adding to my request--it needs to be broader. White sugar becomes a health food, loaded with vitamin D. We are encouraged to eat it supplementally and with reckless abandon throughout each day for strong, healthy bones and skin.

                                                              1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                Would it also not rot your teef?

                                                                1. re: lagatta

                                                                  Of course! Nothing so nutritious could possibly do anything detrimental! 5 out of 5 dentists would recommend gum with sugar to their patients who chew gum. With each checkup, you'd get a new toothbrush, some floss and a sugary treat as a token of good health.

                                                          2. Dear Mother Nature,

                                                            As much as You have perfected the taste of Your Earth's bounty, some often leave me wishing that I could make some changes that even You might consider worthy. I don't mean to sound of a mortal filled with hubris and contempt for Your gifts that You bestow upon us, but I am certain that many of my associates also wish that some of Your otherwise amazing creations could use a little nip & tuck. Yes, for the sake of convenience of one sort or another, we have attempted to achieve this perfection in certain cases only to have failed (e.g., please see item #1). Consequently, it's pretty obvious to me that You have the final say as to whether or not this wish list will ever come true. I know You have been awfully busy lately, as well as awfully pissed off at us for really screwing things up (please oh please pardon us as a whole for allowing two particularly bad terms of Cowboy contempt for all things natural), as most of us now know that global warming is actually Global Warming. With that said, if You see just a tiny of window time opening up in Your otherwise crazy schedule, I would be deeply honored and appreciative if You could take a peak at my list. And please pardon me and disregard any of my wishes that might put us deeper in the environmental crap hole.

                                                            Vinaka vaka levu,

                                                            Bulavinaka

                                                            1) Seedless watermelons that taste like seeded ones but without the seeds.

                                                            2) Seedless avocados.

                                                            3) Pineapples with edible and appetizing skins like real apples.

                                                            4) Quadruple the size of Mexican limes - I don't mind the seeds at all.

                                                            5) A little red "Perfect for Eating" pop-up indicator on canteloupes. Cutting into the occasional ones that taste and smell like varnish really suck the spirit of Summer right out of me.

                                                            6) Make durians really taste good, or did You even mean for us to be eating these? Working so hard to open one of these is bad enough, but offering something that tastes like vanilla custard mixed with the fermented juices of rotting onions and sneakers that are far past their better days is a really bad joke (just my pewny opinion). Nix the fermented juices smell and I will far more appreciate having durians pushed on to me when we're visiting my in-laws in Malaysia. :)

                                                            16 Replies
                                                            1. re: bulavinaka

                                                              I would not change a thing about durians ... except maybe for the price/lb.

                                                              1. re: ipsedixit

                                                                And the conspiracy continues... :)

                                                              2. re: bulavinaka

                                                                Avocado pits don't bother me, but a seedless mango would be beyond awesome. The bigger Mexican/Key limes are a good one.

                                                                1. re: Caitlin McGrath

                                                                  Yes. Finally one I get...the battle with the mango pit is a brutal one.

                                                                  And that reminds me of one of my own—I wish spaghetti squash were seedless. The seeds always create this stringy gunk around them and scooping it all out, you lose part of the flesh.

                                                                  1. re: tatamagouche

                                                                    You know, I kind of like sucking and slurping on the mango pit. Something very decadent, all those mango juices sloshing all over my face and hands and dripping from my face. It is my favorite part or eating a mango.

                                                                    1. re: moh

                                                                      You've reminded me of the scene in When Harry met Sally: " I'll have what she's having."

                                                                      1. re: Veggo

                                                                        <grin>

                                                                        You can't say I don't enjoy my food!

                                                                        But I can't claim to be Meg-ryan-like in any way. It is more rodent like behavior. Imagine a large hamster-like creature. Or perhaps a monkey with a banana.

                                                                        1. re: moh

                                                                          I remember stumbling home late at night in Tarija, Bolivia, and seeing discarded mango seeds with their dry(ing) hair sticking out. In the light coming from windows and the like, they'd look like giant bugs or medium rats. Scare the living shit out of you for a split second.

                                                                          1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                                                            We could discuss cardamom pods in Indian food. Thank goodness they have a distinct scent.

                                                                            1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                                                              Sam, you should re-post this on the food nightmare thread; it's got legs, so to speak.

                                                                              1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                                                                I've nearly jumped out of my skin seeing those very same bugs/rats while walking down the streets at night in Malaysia. Maybe I should carry a spare pair of shorts next time, just in case...

                                                                                1. re: bulavinaka

                                                                                  Cinnamon, Veggo & bulavinaka, its great to know that I'm not alone. In very low light late at night and on cobblestone streets they can startle you to your senses!

                                                                    2. re: bulavinaka

                                                                      Yes on the pineapples! And easy to open coconuts.

                                                                      1. re: bayoucook

                                                                        My dog husks coconuts in record time. It is a little frightening to watch. My little nieces squeal with glee when I jam the screwdriver between the eyes of the coconut to open it. I insist that trait comes from her husbands side of the family. Meanwhile I sleep with the bedroom door locked when they come for a visit.

                                                                      2. re: bulavinaka

                                                                        Durians ARE perfect!

                                                                        1. re: AngelSanctuary

                                                                          Another victim body-snatched by those darned durians!!! :)

                                                                      3. I would make tomatoes flavorful even if they were grown under artificial conditions and no matter what region or season. So many bad, tasteless tomatoes out there. Good ones are like gold and gems.

                                                                        1. Basil should be a hardy perennial plant that likes frost.

                                                                          1. Eggs would be laid in the same condition you find them in the grocers fridge. Leeks would clean themselves of grit. All peaches would be freestone.

                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                            1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                              That reminds me, I've often wished for freestone cherries. For baking - even with a pitter they are still a PIA, and I hate the rough edges that the pitter leaves.

                                                                            2. Much as I love yolks, it would also be nice to be able to get eggs that were all white. Hard boiled, with some salt and hot sauce, these would be a delicious and incredibly healthy snack.

                                                                              2 Replies
                                                                              1. re: danieljdwyer

                                                                                Wouldn't that be an oblate spheroid of tofu? Gimme a cheeseburger-works and rings from the Glenwood!

                                                                                1. re: danieljdwyer

                                                                                  ooh, good one.

                                                                                2. Grapefruits. I hate the things. Why can't they taste like pomelos? One bite into a grapefruit, and I can't taste anything but bitter for the day. No wonder people go on grapefruit diets. I'd stop eating if I had to have a grapefruit before every meal. And yet, the exterior beauty of a grapefruit ...

                                                                                  And raw onions. Why can't raw onions taste like the glory that is caramelized onions? Or at least make it all mild ... like scallions! The need to drop raw onions into everything ruins my food. One bite into that raw onion, and even my dessert is tainted. Gross city.

                                                                                  And those tomatoes. I haven't had a truly good tomato since I lived at home and my parents grew them. (And I didn't like tomatoes then!!!) Can't they all be hardy, easy to grow, and delicious regardless of circumstances?

                                                                                  4 Replies
                                                                                  1. re: Ali

                                                                                    Grapefruits aren't bitter if you're careful about avoiding the membrane—they're tarter than pomelos, to be sure, but I love both...

                                                                                    I used to love raw red onions but I can't do those anymore. My stomach starts to burn. As for tomatoes—only in season and even then only with luck are they much good at all in the US. In Italy, on the other hand...

                                                                                    1. re: tatamagouche

                                                                                      I avoid all membranes, but it doesn't help. (Funny enough, my mother told me the exact same tip yesterday night. ^_^) Without the membrane, I can taste more of the fruity-ness and sort of see why people like them, but it's still just bitter. It's worse when it's in my salad or something and the bitterness taints the ingredients around it. Blegh.

                                                                                      The tomatoes ... well, last summer, I religiously went to the farmer's market at least once a week, and still no tomatoes. They were *all* bad. I was more than a little sad.

                                                                                      1. re: Ali

                                                                                        Had a panzanella at a local restaurant the other day—should've known better than to have a summer salad in early spring—but still, the tomatoes were very nearly white. So depressing.

                                                                                        1. re: Ali

                                                                                          I wonder if the bitterness in grapefruits is a supertaster thing (since supertasters are more sensitive to certain bitter compounds)? I find them pretty inedible too, along with broccoli rabe, many beers, etc, all b/c of intense bitterness. Just a thought.

                                                                                    2. ah, we are opposites. i'd love yolk-free eggs please.

                                                                                      1. Concord grapes would be seedless.
                                                                                        Fresh raspberries would not go moldy for at least a week after you buy them.
                                                                                        Macoun apples would store as well as Braeburns.
                                                                                        Bananas and tomatoes would keep longer at room temperature.
                                                                                        Garlic cloves would slip their skins as easily as concord grapes.

                                                                                        5 Replies
                                                                                        1. re: greygarious

                                                                                          I've read about this and plan to try when berries are in season. Place unwashed berries in a glass jar with the lid on in the fridge. Supposed to extend their life. Also recommended for mushrooms.

                                                                                          1. re: nemo

                                                                                            That works fine for strawberries and blueberries, but it seems like the hollow shape of the raspberry makes it more vulnerable to condensation, which encourages mold.
                                                                                            If left uncovered in the fridge long enough to dry the condensation, they start to shrivel and exude juice, which again encourages mold. I've settled for either eating them the day I buy them, or freezing, which defeats their fresh appeal.

                                                                                            1. re: greygarious

                                                                                              I've had excellent luck with storing (very) fragile raspberries in glass jars for days.

                                                                                          2. re: greygarious

                                                                                            Grapes—good call.

                                                                                            1. re: greygarious

                                                                                              OMG yes! I love concord grapes but they are so annoying to eat. I don't like the peel either so I have to peel them and then take out the seed just for a tiny ass amount of flesh.

                                                                                            2. Olive trees that could grow happily and fruitfully in continental climates?

                                                                                              Sour cherries where the pits pull out neatly and effortlessly with the stem (pitless would not be good, since sour cherry pits are flavorful and useful in certain things).

                                                                                              Freestone mangoes.

                                                                                              2 Replies
                                                                                              1. re: Karl S

                                                                                                "Olive trees that could grow happily and fruitfully in continental climates?"

                                                                                                Well, I don't mind olive trees in distant lands, as olives and olive oil travel pretty well. But I would love to have fig trees that would thrive in my backyard in Canada.... Fresh figs off a tree are so wonderful.

                                                                                                1. re: moh

                                                                                                  I just want a more abundant supply. People who imagine all the oil labelled EVOO out there is actually EVOO are a pretty hopeful bunch.,...

                                                                                              2. It's not NICE to f*ck with Mother Nature, but... How bout green coffee beans that "ripen" and magically turn into whatever roast you'd like, depending on "ripening" time. Ooh, I'd like that.
                                                                                                Vacuum packed nuts that "self-toast" on exposure to air, so you never have to throw out $10.00 worth of pine-nuts because you got distracted (after your 3'rd cocktail...). We can live in outer space, but can NOT come up with the Navel Cherry! (although I'm all for pit spitting contests, but try making a cherry pie with fresh bings. Your kitchen will look like the aftermath of several Godfather movies; horse-heads not included) While we're at it, seedless tomatoes would be kind of cool, too. Gee, I hope Monsanto isn't spying on this thread and getting diabolically good ideas!! adam

                                                                                                1. Corn on the cob would have easily removable cornsilk so there'd be none to get stuck in your teeth.

                                                                                                  "Navel" lemons so the seeds would be no problem in iced tea; alternatively, much bigger seeds so they couldn't accidentally be sucked up through a straw. :)

                                                                                                  4 Replies
                                                                                                  1. re: mcsheridan

                                                                                                    Two very good ones--they'd get my vote, too!

                                                                                                    1. re: mcsheridan

                                                                                                      Amazingly, if you cook corn on the cob in the microwave in its husk (steams perfectly in a few minutes, without heating up the kitchen), the silk strips clean away like nobody's business.

                                                                                                      1. re: mcsheridan

                                                                                                        Dammit, I like pulling off the cornsilk too! As I suggested earlier, I must've been a seriously nitpicky chimp in another life.

                                                                                                        1. re: tatamagouche

                                                                                                          Sometimes you just crack me up. I know that does not add to the topic, but I had to let that out.

                                                                                                      2. I would leave out the fat and calories in BACON.

                                                                                                        10 Replies
                                                                                                        1. re: Lewes17266

                                                                                                          I can understand the calories but...the fat? the fat is the point of bacon (at least of the streaky American kind).

                                                                                                          1. re: Karl S

                                                                                                            I assume they mean the fat would be there but it wouldn't, you know, stick.

                                                                                                          2. re: Lewes17266

                                                                                                            Oh, no you don't! You leave out the fat, and what would we fry our home fries in? :D

                                                                                                            Never mind no more green beans cooked with a little bit of bacon fat, sugar and mustard.

                                                                                                            1. re: mcsheridan

                                                                                                              2 words: Duck Fat.

                                                                                                              Quack!

                                                                                                              1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                One of these days, I'm going to get some duck fat and roast potatoes with it. Someday...

                                                                                                                1. re: mcsheridan

                                                                                                                  Cook yourself some duck. Good meal + duck fat bonus for future cooking.

                                                                                                                  1. re: mcsheridan

                                                                                                                    Do this really soon. Roasted potatoes done with duck fat is one of the most wonderful ways to eat potato ever....

                                                                                                                    1. re: moh

                                                                                                                      I just double rendered pork fat. I may have a new love. 8 Pounds of pork fat! My house reeks.

                                                                                                                      1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                        Yes, but it is sooo good. I don't know if you like fried chicken, but there is an awesome Edna Lewis recipe for southern fried chicken that fries the chicken in lard with some bacon thrown in, and it is amazing! The few times we have rendered our own lard, it was to make this recipe. Perhaps it is time again....

                                                                                                                        1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                          Yhaa? And what did you do with the cracklings? They're the best bit of the pig.

                                                                                                              2. I'd like a butternut squash I could remove from it's skin without resorting to manuevers usually reserved for chopping wood.

                                                                                                                ETA: apparently I have dyslexic fingers thanks Sal :)

                                                                                                                8 Replies
                                                                                                                1. re: maplesugar

                                                                                                                  Butternut right? Peel it with a cheep hand peeler towards to. Sick simple.

                                                                                                                  1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                    Sal - do what? I've almost stopped cooking with them b/c they're so damned hard to peel and chop (no frozen product here). So, how do you do it? And cheap hand peeler?

                                                                                                                    1. re: bayoucook

                                                                                                                      Lots of ways to peel/section it. Good tools are a real plus.

                                                                                                                      Try this page to see a variety of techniques:
                                                                                                                      http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2...

                                                                                                                      1. re: bayoucook

                                                                                                                        I just read thatI wrote "cheep" LOL... I have chickenitis.

                                                                                                                        Anyway. You know those hand peelers? Use one of those. Hold it by the neck and start peeling towards you from the bottom like below the bottom bug gourd side as low as comfy. The skin will zip right off and there is only a tiny bit of waste.

                                                                                                                        You can use those y shaped peelers or the kind that is straight and the peeler part is two parallel blades. I am sure the others work, but I KNOW those do.

                                                                                                                        1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                          Thanks, I'll try that next time.

                                                                                                                        2. re: bayoucook

                                                                                                                          Why not just roast it first?

                                                                                                                          1. re: danieljdwyer

                                                                                                                            Cuz sometimes you don't want to roast it. OR you want to roast it in cubes.

                                                                                                                            1. re: Sal Vanilla

                                                                                                                              Yeah!

                                                                                                                    2. I wish there was a naturally occurring chicken with like 8 pairs of wings.

                                                                                                                      5 Replies
                                                                                                                      1. re: RealMenJulienne

                                                                                                                        When buffalo wings first became the rage, I thought "they" would have to genetically engineer a four winged chicken, sort of a biplane with feathers.

                                                                                                                        1. re: Veggo

                                                                                                                          oh funny

                                                                                                                          1. re: Veggo

                                                                                                                            The thought of the existence of such a chicken is pretty grotesque, but if it meant cheaper wings... Man oh man... I'm glad I'm not in charge of making that decision.

                                                                                                                          2. re: RealMenJulienne

                                                                                                                            Vishnu's chicken.

                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                            1. re: alanbarnes

                                                                                                                              Love the idea! Namaste ;) adam

                                                                                                                          3. I don't think I've seen this yet but my dream would be beans that do not burst or split no matter what. Every single bean I would make would come out pristine and with the skins intact. I know there are techniques that exist to make this happen but I would like non-bursting beans with no effort.

                                                                                                                            1. California strawberries: hard as a rock and white inside. We have yummy local strawberries, but the season is, alas, short, and frozen ain't never gonna substitute for fresh. There must be millions of people who don't know what a real strawberry tastes like.

                                                                                                                              1. Fruit, that tastes as good as it looks. Apples, pears, grapes, oranges, etc can look perfect but taste lousy.

                                                                                                                                1. In a perfect world, the leaves of the nopales cactus would scratch themselves.

                                                                                                                                  I'm able to harvest them locally, but the de-spining is a chore.

                                                                                                                                  I am currently in the intermediate stages of training my cat to assist me in this.

                                                                                                                                  http://www.spoilmykitty.com/images/cl...

                                                                                                                                  1. Let's see:

                                                                                                                                    Avocados that don't turn black.

                                                                                                                                    Cilantro that lasts for more than a week without wilting.

                                                                                                                                    Beets that only emit juice after cooking.

                                                                                                                                    Cartilage free chickens.

                                                                                                                                    Instant dry lettuce.

                                                                                                                                    Stain free cherries.

                                                                                                                                    Stringless celery.

                                                                                                                                    Easy peel eggs.

                                                                                                                                    6 Replies
                                                                                                                                    1. re: salsailsa

                                                                                                                                      Yes, another I can really get behind: naturally clean lettuce. That'd be great.

                                                                                                                                      1. re: salsailsa

                                                                                                                                        The amazingly convenient paper towel can be used to keep your cilantro and other herbs fresh. Wet a couple of paper towels and wring them out to where they don't drip anymore. Wrap your herbs in the paper towels and place in the veggie drawer of your fridge. Check every couple of days to see if the towels need rehydrating. Regular towels work as well.

                                                                                                                                        Send all unwanted chicken cartilage to any Japanese izakaya. Called nankotsu, it's usually dredged and deep-fried and served hot. It's almost like chicken tofu in that the cartilage delivers the flavor of the seasoned coating as well as offering an interesting texture. Moreover, it goes well with beer.

                                                                                                                                        1. re: bulavinaka

                                                                                                                                          Thanks for the tip about herbs. I have absolutely no luck keeping cilantro.

                                                                                                                                          Interesting about the chicken cartilage. My stomach instantly turns when I chew a piece of cartilage( in regular roast chicken that is).

                                                                                                                                          Deep frying does all sorts of magical things to foods. I like eating fried shrimp shells.

                                                                                                                                          1. re: salsailsa

                                                                                                                                            Yes, deep-frying is just amazing, isn't it? Salted pepper shrimp is my version of your fried shrimp shells. I eat everything - shells, tails, and heads. Nothing is left. Aside from the mention upthread about devaining, I guess there's not much to improve on as far as these little crustaceans go.

                                                                                                                                            1. re: bulavinaka

                                                                                                                                              Mmm, me too.

                                                                                                                                        2. re: salsailsa

                                                                                                                                          "cartilage free chickens..."

                                                                                                                                          Do you ever make homemade chicken stock? With out cartilage... it would be sad indeed!

                                                                                                                                        3. I would like for spills of beet juice and curry broths to be soluble in something less that sulfuric acid. When I did my curried goat last week I ended up dispatching my shorts and shirt to the rag pile. A cycle in the washer only served to magnify the curry stains. If I wore them again to my grocery store, some kind soul would direct me to the isle with the items for incontinence.

                                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                                          1. re: Veggo

                                                                                                                                            Try the stain remover aisle instead...I use Spray n Wash dual power and a brush, it gets all manner of stuff out of DD's uniform khakis (anyone who thought BEIGE uniform pants were a good idea for 7yr olds doesn't have kids) :)

                                                                                                                                            http://www.spraynwash.com/product.html#4

                                                                                                                                          2. haha, I'd be on the opposite side for eggs.... I'd have an egg be all white, because I hate the yolks, and having to separate the eggs every time I cook them gets to be a pain, especially when I cook the yolks separately for the dog....

                                                                                                                                            1. I finally figured out what this thread was reminding me of! One of my favorite (but odd) animators, Tex Avery, did a few *what will life be like in the future?* cartoons in the 1950s. Very weird and entertaining stuff, but I'm partial to Avery. One of these shorts is called "The Farm of Tomorrow," and deals with mechanization of ag. and genetic hybrids of foodstuffs in Avery's characteristically half dorky/half thoughtfully humorous way. I'll post the link.

                                                                                                                                              **FAIR WARNING** There are bits in the clip that can range from vaguely un-PC to bordering on the offensive, depending upon your POV and sensibilities. Remember, this is the 1950s and the mores of the time are reflected. Just saying.

                                                                                                                                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqX9w-...

                                                                                                                                              Farm of Tomorrow

                                                                                                                                              Best,
                                                                                                                                              Cay

                                                                                                                                              2 Replies
                                                                                                                                              1. re: cayjohan

                                                                                                                                                Reminds me of Far Side's "Boneless Chicken Ranch".

                                                                                                                                                1. re: cayjohan

                                                                                                                                                  Cay! You changed your avatar! I loved the little gerbil?hamster? it was so cute!

                                                                                                                                                2. I would change lima beans, and by change, I mean wipe them off the face of the earth. That is change I can believe in!

                                                                                                                                                  2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                  1. re: MattInNJ

                                                                                                                                                    Wish I could cook you a batch of southern lima beans with bacon, butter, onions, garlic and thyme, with cornbread. Oh my goodness. Just shows how we all have our own favorites, doesn't it? Have you tried the large dried limas? Heaven!

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: bayoucook

                                                                                                                                                      Bacon is a crutch, bayoucook. What DOESN'T taste better with bacon? ;) I hate limas, too, yet they sounded tasty as you described them. I never met a Yankee lima bean I liked, tho'!

                                                                                                                                                  2. I would like it if all crabs and lobsters just up and committed suicide in the name of art at the very moment you wished to cook them at home.

                                                                                                                                                    9 Replies
                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Googs

                                                                                                                                                      An ab fab idea, Googs! ;)

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Googs

                                                                                                                                                        Should've thought of that myself, googs! It would be SO much easier....

                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Googs

                                                                                                                                                          Especially if their chosen method involved melodramatically throwing themselves in a river of drawn butter. Two birds, one stone and all. And oh so Shakespearean.

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Wahooty

                                                                                                                                                            LOL. I'm CRY-ing!!!

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Googs

                                                                                                                                                              Don't cry, Googs. It beats getting oneself to a nunnery, and they have no reason to go on living.

                                                                                                                                                              And are tasty.

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Wahooty

                                                                                                                                                                ROTFL You & I are going to have to run into each other some day.

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Googs

                                                                                                                                                                  Would love to, sweetie darling, darling sweetie.

                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Wahooty

                                                                                                                                                                    Googs, I'm going to be meeting a friend at the Cobourg Monday night, if you feel like running into me. I look just like my avatar, as long as I don't take off my glasses. ;)

                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Wahooty

                                                                                                                                                                      Going to a matinee today. I'll see what I can do. Thanks for the heads up.

                                                                                                                                                        2. Bananas are meant to be the perfect grab food to go, yes? Except what are you supposed to do with the furry strings that trail from the peel? I can't eat them without gagging, they sometimes break off and land on you and you end up with dessicated worm looking things later on.... and the furry nub at the bottom!!! I waste a cubic centimeter at the bottom trying to avoid ingesting.

                                                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                          1. re: aforkcalledspoon

                                                                                                                                                            I'd put naturally deveined shrimp up top. But ahead of that might be naturally easy-open, easy-grind coconuts.

                                                                                                                                                          2. I would like all meat and fish to not contaminate your workplace at all. I swear, every time I'm cutting up a chuck or have my hand buried deep in a bird, the phone or doorbell rings, or my kid suddenly REALLY needs me for something or other, and I'd like to not have to retrace my steps with the bleach/water spitzer all the time. We're eating more veggie stuff nowadays, I told my family, to be healthier, but for me, it's also easier on the fixing and cleaning.
                                                                                                                                                            Conversely, I'd like to be able to buy fresh produce and throw it in the freezer and pull it out when I'm really ready to use it and have it just as good in every way as fresh.
                                                                                                                                                            But then, I'd like Hugh Jackman to give me a foot massage, too, but I don't think that's gonna happen, either.
                                                                                                                                                            In the interim, I agree with the easy-to-peel pineapple and melons that aren't hard as rocks one day and all black and mushy the next.

                                                                                                                                                            1. Brussel Spourts - stop being so nasty

                                                                                                                                                              Pears! They should only ripen when I will it too =.=.

                                                                                                                                                              1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                              1. re: AngelSanctuary

                                                                                                                                                                I beg to differ. Brussels sprouts are perfect.

                                                                                                                                                              2. Pomegranates would come with an easy-open peel tab, and the juicy pearls inside would be twice the size with no seed.

                                                                                                                                                                1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                1. re: MrsCris

                                                                                                                                                                  ...oh, no...the easy open tab is good maybe...juicy pearls twice the size are fine...but I like the crunch of the seeds!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                2. Cheese, the hard aged stuff. I would love to have all the flavor and virtually no fat. (I buy red. fat chees now. Can't get nearly the variety of all the good cheeses in the world.)