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Recipe Limericks

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Do you think you could write a recipe as a limerick? There are some aspiring poetic chowhounders out there - give it a go.

  1. I've actually been wanting to combine poetry and recipes for a long time. I wanted to buy recipoems.com but turned out not to be the first to come up with that one. C'est la vie.

    1 Reply
    1. re: tatamagouche

      hmmmm, maybe you can revisit your excellent idea. poetry and recipes, if they could sound like the ocean i'd need little else.

    2. First chop up a sweet or dill pickle
      Two boiled eggs and mayo (a trickle).
      Add onion, Dijon,
      Celery, tarragon:
      Egg Salad your tastebuds will tickle!

      1 Reply
      1. re: DonShirer

        The good ones always start with a pickle.

      2. My limerick title is "Beans Optional"

        Sauteed mirepoix in a saucepan
        Petite diced tomatoes, 1 small can
        Some garlicy stock
        Parm fresh off the block
        Makes your Saturday Soup Night Sicilian!

        Ok, I'm claiming rights. I think it's funny. :)

        Now I want egg salad.

        1 Reply
        1. re: fern

          Way to go, Don and fern!

        2. Ground beef and now if you are clever
          bread soaked in milk should you endeavor
          mix the first with the second
          and soon I have reckoned
          you'll be eating the best burger ever!!
          (title: Ode to Panade) adam

          1. There was an old man from Milan,
            Whose sauces he never could plan.
            When told this was so,
            He said, 'yes, I know.
            'But I always try to get as many veggies into the pot as I can.'

            6 Replies
            1. re: Gio

              and as many syllables in to the last line as I can. You broke the limerick rules, but made me laugh out loud. Good one, Gio! adam

              1. re: adamshoe

                Thanks Adam....glad I made you laugh!
                As for too many syllables, that was my plan.....

                1. re: Gio

                  Your Big Finish was funny, Gio!

                  1. re: fern

                    Thank you, Fern.....(^_^)

              2. re: Gio

                brilliant. a masterpiece. =D

                1. re: Gio

                  There was an old man from Milan,
                  Whose sauces he never could plan.
                  With veggies in the pot
                  And some stock, or not,
                  He made sauce ... or soup for the clan.

                2. There was a young man from Boston
                  Who made baked beans quite often
                  Molasses and bacon (that's nice)
                  And onions he'd dice
                  Then after the oven, he'd scoff'em

                  1. To your brownie mix add some great weed
                    Bake as norml and soon you will see'd
                    Best intentions de-throned
                    And you're stotally toned
                    I promise you this, yes indeed
                    I love this silly thread!!! adam

                    2 Replies
                    1. re: adamshoe

                      omg you're all so funny. adamshoe, i had a flashback craving...

                      1. re: adamshoe

                        That's inspired!!!

                      2. THE CHEESY EGG
                        First take an egg, then you beat it.
                        The trick is how slowly you heat it.
                        In the pan, slow and low
                        Till it's custardy, bro',
                        Then you add cheddar cheese, then you eat it.

                        1 Reply
                        1. re: kattyeyes

                          good one kattyeyes

                        2. My family wants a scrumptious pot roast
                          They think it's as as easy as toast
                          I spend hours preparing
                          They seem not to be caring
                          But in the end they love me the most!

                          True story!
                          Dani

                          1. A Recent Dinner, in three verses

                            I.

                            A bottle of wine from the Rhine
                            With scallops it paired mighty fine
                            There's nothing to cook
                            No need for a book
                            Just glasses, a knife and some time

                            II.

                            Aubergine from a shop in Paris,
                            Thinly sliced, cooked in oil quite free,
                            Eggs mixed with these rounds,
                            Then cooked til quite browned;
                            The frittata was good? Ben mais oui!

                            III.

                            The frisée came from I don't know where
                            Washed quite well and then dried in the air
                            With salt, oil, lemon
                            And fennel 'twas heaven
                            Salad's fine, for desert I don't care

                            3 Replies
                            1. re: tmso

                              The last line is a lie, but you try to come up with a rhyme for "yogurt"!

                              1. re: tmso

                                Was watching a movie with Bogart
                                While eating my strawberry Yogurt
                                When he said "play it Sam"
                                I stirred in some jam
                                But then spilled the whole thing on my t-shirt

                              2. re: tmso

                                The dinner you cooked was delightful
                                But dessert, simply put, was just frightful.
                                When we dine once again,
                                Get some fruit, cheese and then
                                It will be totaly wonderful.

                              3. Made me morning hash
                                Used some of me truffle stash
                                Door broke open with a crash
                                All the neighbors wanted a dash

                                Broke from the room in haste
                                Not for me to give 'em a taste
                                Likes 'o them id just be a waste
                                They'd eat a bit an call it paste

                                6 Replies
                                1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                  Sam, great stuff, but these are not limericks. A limerick needs to be a five line verse where the 1st, 2nd and 5th lines rhyme and the 3rd and fourth do as well. We'll give you a pass though...

                                  1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                    Sorry Sam. The rule for a limerick is quite simple, but the penalty for breaking that rule is quite severe. You are banned from Chowhound for 33 1/3 seconds during which time you will have to do community service. Sorry Sam but rules are rules.

                                    1. re: billieboy

                                      Both of you, I know! Thanks. I'm stacked up here at work and am stealing time to do some lines. Limerick will have to wait.

                                      1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                        Good thing the thread is not about Haiku....we would all be screwed. :-)

                                    2. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                      Sam, How's this:

                                      This morning I made me some hash.
                                      Used some of me new truffle stash.
                                      The door was broke open
                                      The neighbors it woken
                                      And then they rushed in for a dash.

                                      From the room I did run in such haste
                                      Not for me to just give 'em a taste.
                                      They'd eat some and then
                                      Run away to the pen.
                                      So I ate all with nary a waste.

                                      1. re: Gio

                                        Love you, Joe, you've saved my literary ass

                                    3. There once was a porkloin so lean
                                      Not a bit of fat could be seen
                                      I wrapped it in bacon!
                                      No, no, I'm not fakin'!
                                      My guests licked the platter quite clean.

                                      I love poems of all sorts (product of a Dr. Seuss childhood). While I haven't updated my blog in a long time, a while back one of my dear friends challenged me to write a recipe in haiku form. It's at: http://wordybitch.blogspot.com/2007/0...

                                      1. I took out a thick chicken thigh
                                        Cause I knew that dinner was nigh
                                        Threw it in a pan
                                        With a heavy hand
                                        And we all ate it up with a sigh

                                        1. I started this - better contribute I guess.

                                          I'd like to be vegetarian
                                          But my genes are strictly barbarian
                                          So I'll grill up some steaks
                                          You can keep your corn flakes
                                          Give my the youghurt to some hungry Bulgarian

                                          2 Replies
                                          1. re: Paulustrious

                                            Bravo, Paulustrious.... But that 3rd line..... (?_?)

                                            1. re: Gio

                                              Just in time - edited

                                              TVM

                                          2. I bought lentil soup in a pop top can
                                            Of most canned meals, I am just not a fan
                                            But this soup's not half-bad
                                            Though the greens do look sad
                                            So, next week I'll have a better meal plan

                                            4 Replies
                                            1. re: Ima Wurdibitsch

                                              IW:
                                              I enjoyed reading your Pear Clafoutis Haiku recipe. A fun way to cook!

                                              1. re: Gio

                                                Thank you!

                                              2. re: Ima Wurdibitsch

                                                Okay, this isn't a limerick - but I just wanted to let Ima Wurdibitsch know that I always add some fresh spinach to my canned lentil soup - it works wonders - makes it fresh, green & nutritious! Even if you're nuking it at work, you can add the spinach to a glass bowl, pour the soup on top, press start...et voila!
                                                (Can I write that again in limerick form...? Nah!)

                                                1. re: Morticia

                                                  What a fantastic idea! Thank you.

                                                  A limerick on canned soup was seen
                                                  On Chowhound, a suggestion for green
                                                  My soup's now delicious
                                                  And it's quite nutritious
                                                  I nominate Morticia: Soup Queen!

                                              3. I said I'd serve you all ham
                                                But dumkeg saw it was Spam
                                                So back to the kitchen to cook
                                                Something so I'm not just a crook
                                                So here's my fine chowder of clam

                                                3 Replies
                                                1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                                  I'm limercizing your poem, Sam-with your permission. If you hate it I'll delete it

                                                  I said I would serve you all ham
                                                  But dumkeg, she saw it was Spam
                                                  So it's back to the kitchen
                                                  with Dumkeg a'bitchin',
                                                  Now here's my fine chowder of clam

                                                  1. re: EWSflash

                                                    Death to Spam!

                                                    Passadumkeg about ‘Nam was spewin’
                                                    How Spam really wasn’t worth chewin.
                                                    With trusty 45 in hand,
                                                    putting holes in them cans,
                                                    ground pig snout found its undoing.

                                                     
                                                    1. re: EWSflash

                                                      Consuming the ultra high levels of salt
                                                      Made my jarheads and me want to halt
                                                      All dining on Spam
                                                      In the heat of ol' 'Nam
                                                      And now I'm in need of Gestalt

                                                      Semen 1st Class Dumkeg!

                                                  2. To serve alongside a roast beast
                                                    Take flour and water and yeast
                                                    Add salt and let rise
                                                    Overnight if you're wise
                                                    Then bake at 450 and feast!

                                                    3 Replies
                                                    1. re: phofiend

                                                      Clap, clap, clap--nice going! :)

                                                      1. re: kattyeyes

                                                        Thank you. Much more fun than working.

                                                      2. re: phofiend

                                                        Perfect!

                                                      3. Okay, Good Friday fasting has inspired me. Here's my Easter menu, in verse:

                                                        For lamb that is simply sublime
                                                        Take rosemary and garlic and thyme
                                                        Marinate a few days
                                                        Heat oil to a haze
                                                        Sear, roast and serve with a fine wine.

                                                        Asparagus is a great thing
                                                        The harbinger of sunny spring
                                                        Some bacon and leeks
                                                        Or perhaps some pork cheeks
                                                        Will make all at table just sing.

                                                        Potatoes that lowly repast
                                                        Are often by others outclassed
                                                        But add butter and cheese
                                                        And cream if you please
                                                        And Ghandi himself would break fast.

                                                        2 Replies
                                                        1. re: phofiend

                                                          You are using an unfair advantage!!!! You have talent, we don't :-)
                                                          They are very good.

                                                          1. re: phofiend

                                                            Bravo!

                                                          2. Okay... I have one:

                                                            They’re basically eggs, milk and flour
                                                            They bake in just under an hour.
                                                            They’re doughy inside,
                                                            But their outsides are dried
                                                            My popovers rise like a tower.

                                                            2 Replies
                                                            1. re: CindyJ

                                                              Love it! :)

                                                              1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                Thank you! :)

                                                            2. One evening I roasted a chicken
                                                              when I left it the dogs went a pickin'
                                                              I came back for my dinner
                                                              Each dog was a sinner
                                                              their paws and their chops they were lickin'

                                                              5 Replies
                                                              1. re: smartie

                                                                Hysterical--my dog Carly (RIP) actually did this with the neighbor's turkey!!!

                                                                1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                  my shepherd mix has carefully taken two drumsticks off a chicken in the past, pushed way back on the counter!

                                                                  1. re: smartie

                                                                    My Siamese cat hopped on the counter and doled out leg of lamb to our other cat and two dogs. He just swiped and pitched, it was all very mannerly. We were laughing so hard we didn't stop it right away.

                                                                    1. re: bayoucook

                                                                      ROFL! I can visualize this happening! (Did it happen yesterday?) I had to cover my lamb last night before I went to eat. One of the cats was hiding in the bathroom (off the kitchen) just waiting for her chance to counter-surf.

                                                                      ETA: I *LOVE* this thread. I'm nowhere near clever enough to come up with a limerick - especially a recipe one! - so I'll just enjoy it from afar.

                                                                      1. re: LindaWhit

                                                                        Hi Linda - just saw this! No, it happened two or three years ago; I'll never forget how funny it was, and the look on the animal's faces.

                                                              2. Is there a way to nominate this for best thread ever?! I love it! And some of you Chowhounds have mad skills.

                                                                Here is my modest contribution:

                                                                Boy, how I love those pertaters!
                                                                Like latkes made with a hand grater
                                                                Be careful to drain
                                                                Again and again
                                                                Fry crisp, eat it now and not later.

                                                                2 Replies
                                                                1. re: cimui

                                                                  Or try this...

                                                                  Wash but don’t peel the pertater.
                                                                  Dice it or shred on a grater.
                                                                  Fry it with bacon,
                                                                  an onion, no fakin’
                                                                  The dish is delish, a top rater.

                                                                  1. re: cuccubear

                                                                    Nice. My other favorite potato prep!

                                                                2. here's how you cook armadillo
                                                                  so it turns out as soft as a pillow
                                                                  skin it, and braise it
                                                                  and lavishly praise it
                                                                  then serve atop raspberry jello

                                                                  1. My mate said she likes food with heat
                                                                    so i put chili powder on the meat
                                                                    perhaps too much , though
                                                                    her lips were aglow
                                                                    but boy, her kisses can't be beat

                                                                    1. help, i can't stop!

                                                                      some find the oink quite distasteful
                                                                      whereas I think it's rather wasteful
                                                                      to leave it behind
                                                                      and pay it no mind
                                                                      when adventurous 'hounds eat the offal

                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                      1. re: cimui

                                                                        Absolutely brilliant, those three, Cimui. You're a natural!!

                                                                      2. I wish we could open this up to iambic pentameter, but upon the OP's request we will stick to the rules of the Duke of Donegal.

                                                                        A Tribute to Beef Boy:

                                                                        There once was a ball of ground beef
                                                                        who refused the meatloaf motif.
                                                                        "Don't bake me!" he cried
                                                                        So I gladly complied
                                                                        And tartared him, to his relief.
                                                                        ---
                                                                        Ooops! It's supposed to be "recipes". Okay. To rephrase:
                                                                        ---
                                                                        Take some beef, and run through the grinder
                                                                        add breadcrumbs and egg as a binder
                                                                        Bake at medium heat
                                                                        'til the juices run neat...
                                                                        He was right. Tartare would be kinder."

                                                                        Moral:

                                                                        While both methods hinted of pain,
                                                                        the problem was: Beef Boy was vain.
                                                                        Afraid of both Frying
                                                                        and oven-heat Drying
                                                                        As Tartare, his juice he'd retain.

                                                                        4 Replies
                                                                        1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                          A tribute to beef in three installments--what a beautiful thing (and I love tartare!)!

                                                                          1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                            BRAVA!!

                                                                            1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                              I think you have suffered enough, being shackled by an unreasonable constraint. Let loose, fly like a bird.

                                                                              Dazzle us.

                                                                              1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                The constraints of the limerick are good,
                                                                                especially when talking 'bout food.
                                                                                Terse focus, with brevity
                                                                                mixed sometimes with levity
                                                                                Keeps the recipe brief, as it should.

                                                                                That don't mean I'd not love to ramble
                                                                                in free verse 'bout "eggs that I scramble."
                                                                                But the rules of "the Lim"
                                                                                keep the verse tight and trim.
                                                                                There's plenty of room to still amble.

                                                                            2. There is a young lady named Kattyeyes
                                                                              Who one day came to realize
                                                                              Tho sugar is sweet
                                                                              It's really not neat
                                                                              When it goes straight to her Kattythighs

                                                                              2 Replies
                                                                              1. re: billieboy

                                                                                LOLOL! No kidding and your limerick above just had me howling! Good morning!

                                                                                1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                  Glad to give you a smile. Good morning to you.

                                                                              2. There once was an olive Kalamata
                                                                                That was chopped up and mixed in fritata.
                                                                                Some galric and brie,
                                                                                Eggs and seasoning for me.
                                                                                You can even add salsa de tomata!

                                                                                13 Replies
                                                                                1. re: Caroline1

                                                                                  At weekends I like a fresh cake
                                                                                  butter, sugar and eggs I take
                                                                                  add flour and cream
                                                                                  beat it to a dream
                                                                                  it takes less than an hour to bake

                                                                                  1. re: smartie

                                                                                    darn it, you beat me to the last line.....

                                                                                    I couldn't sing louder
                                                                                    the praises of chowder
                                                                                    all you need are potatoes and clams
                                                                                    and a wee bit of ham
                                                                                    from start to end, it takes just an hour

                                                                                    1. re: clamscasino

                                                                                      sorry clams!

                                                                                      1. re: smartie

                                                                                        That's okay. I had about 5 alternatives for that fifth line. Was gonna say "to make it, just takes an hour."

                                                                                        This thread has hi-jacked my brain..can anyone finish this one?

                                                                                        We once found some clams on Nantucket
                                                                                        Enough to fill a whole bucket...

                                                                                        1. re: clamscasino

                                                                                          nevermind. my ideas are going from bad to worse. :)

                                                                                          1. re: clamscasino

                                                                                            We once found some clams on Nantucket
                                                                                            Enough to fill a whole bucket...
                                                                                            With butter and broth
                                                                                            And a right wide mouthed trough
                                                                                            We'll eat all then go to Pawtucket.

                                                                                            (cough, cough)

                                                                                            1. re: clamscasino

                                                                                              We once found some clams on Nantucket
                                                                                              Enough to fill a whole bucket
                                                                                              I said with a grin
                                                                                              As I wiped off my chin
                                                                                              If you throw one at me, I won't duck it.

                                                                                              1. re: billieboy

                                                                                                Applause, Applause!!! (*-*)

                                                                                                1. re: billieboy

                                                                                                  excellent! I myself was hung up on "shuck it"

                                                                                                  1. re: clamscasino

                                                                                                    You guys are great!

                                                                                                2. re: clamscasino

                                                                                                  We once found some clams on Nantucket
                                                                                                  Enough to fill a whole bucket...
                                                                                                  But although I was hopin,
                                                                                                  Those clams just wouldn't open
                                                                                                  The whole bunch we just had to chuck it

                                                                                                  1. re: Ima Wurdibitsch

                                                                                                    Hate when that happens, but at least you worked out the plural to singular thing for the lastline. :)

                                                                                              2. re: clamscasino

                                                                                                More bi-valve erotica:

                                                                                                There was a young cook from Nantucket
                                                                                                Who put clams and cornmeal in a bucket;
                                                                                                His girlfriend asked why
                                                                                                He was all set to fry,
                                                                                                While if he steamed one she would suck it.

                                                                                          2. There once was a handsome young dude
                                                                                            who tried to seduce ladies with food.
                                                                                            But most of them froze
                                                                                            when his souffle never rose,
                                                                                            and for dessert they weren't in the mood.

                                                                                            4 Replies
                                                                                            1. re: Veggo

                                                                                              Ah you're a rookie
                                                                                              You should have made cookies
                                                                                              With sugar and butter
                                                                                              You'ld make her heart flutter
                                                                                              And maybe just get you some nookie!

                                                                                              1. re: clamscasino

                                                                                                The rivers of love can be murky
                                                                                                Some girls will refuse to talk turkey
                                                                                                If I may suggest,
                                                                                                Give cooking a rest,
                                                                                                Just stay at home and have jerkie.

                                                                                                1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                  You might have more luck
                                                                                                  If you served up some duck
                                                                                                  If you've crisped up the skin
                                                                                                  It's bliss you'ld be in
                                                                                                  In the morning you'll both say "cluck, cluck."

                                                                                              2. re: Veggo

                                                                                                There once was a tall man on the golf course
                                                                                                Who's sweet thing was to be his maincourse.
                                                                                                As they fooled around in the kitchen
                                                                                                Her stomach it started to bitchin
                                                                                                So she ate him. It could have been far worse.

                                                                                              3. S&*^ happens...

                                                                                                My wife returned home with some news.
                                                                                                She'd invited some friends round to schmooze
                                                                                                They were really quite shaken
                                                                                                At blood pudding and bacon.
                                                                                                She forgot to say they were Jews.

                                                                                                1. To make a nice fondue that's cheesey
                                                                                                  you'll find that it really is breezey
                                                                                                  stir it quite slowly
                                                                                                  use cheese that's not lowly
                                                                                                  Quelle Fromage! It really was easy!

                                                                                                  1. for breakfast we like cheesy grits
                                                                                                    in a saucepan I add all the bits
                                                                                                    fry eggs in a pan
                                                                                                    its a meal for my man
                                                                                                    a full tum sharpens his wits

                                                                                                    1. here's one for Passover

                                                                                                      On Pesach we eat Matzah Brie
                                                                                                      Melt butter, add matzahs and fry
                                                                                                      the eggs go in next
                                                                                                      don't look so vexed
                                                                                                      You don't know it's good till you try

                                                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                                                      1. re: smartie

                                                                                                        (Rather than trying to top the wonderful ones above, I will add my childhood creation, penned by me, at age 7 when I discovered limericks:)

                                                                                                        There once was a silly old goose
                                                                                                        Who drank nothing all day but juice
                                                                                                        So out of her fret
                                                                                                        She bought a toilet
                                                                                                        And from it she made good use

                                                                                                        ...how I have remembered it all these years I will never know...

                                                                                                      2. Just wanted to pop in and say
                                                                                                        (Don't know any other way)
                                                                                                        Eat Ham to your fill
                                                                                                        (I know that you will)
                                                                                                        And HAPPY BUNNY DAY :-)

                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                        1. re: billieboy

                                                                                                          I'm really so happy it's bunny day
                                                                                                          We've cooked and we've baked, now I'm here to say,
                                                                                                          "It's almost time to eat
                                                                                                          A feast of great treats!"
                                                                                                          In French, they would say, "C'est une bonne idée!"

                                                                                                          Back atcha, buddy! :) And happy bunny day/bonne idée to all!

                                                                                                        2. You Chowhounds are just far too clever
                                                                                                          And so, I announce that I'll sever
                                                                                                          All ties to this thread
                                                                                                          It's hurting my head
                                                                                                          To come up with more rhymes to de-lever. ;) adam

                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                          1. re: adamshoe

                                                                                                            Please don't go Adamshoe
                                                                                                            What would it take to woo
                                                                                                            You to stay
                                                                                                            Don't go away
                                                                                                            Unless it's just to the loo

                                                                                                          2. the other day, all i could think of was things that rhyme with "uck it"!

                                                                                                            thanks chowhounds -- more productive use of my time. lol ;-).

                                                                                                            2 Replies
                                                                                                            1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                              I'ld take the blame, but it was really Mr. Clam who came up with the first line. Fortunately he did so at about 5 in the evening.

                                                                                                              1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                I love all of these! Too bad I'm awful with words...

                                                                                                              2. "take mayo, sour cream, knorr's packet
                                                                                                                mince onions, chestnuts - just hack it
                                                                                                                add spinach and mix
                                                                                                                just wait for your fix
                                                                                                                then eat, gain weight, buy new jacket."

                                                                                                                ~~~~~
                                                                                                                inspired by boccone dolce, my muse.

                                                                                                                1. There once was a perfect roast beef.
                                                                                                                  Attaining it? Nothing but grief
                                                                                                                  'Til I read on my monitor
                                                                                                                  The way that one oughter.
                                                                                                                  Thanks, Chowhounds, for roast beef relief!

                                                                                                                  1. Sorry it's not a recipe, but I couldn't resist.

                                                                                                                    There once was a Chef du Cuisine,
                                                                                                                    Whose manner was nasty and mean.
                                                                                                                    He berated the Sous,
                                                                                                                    Who said: "Chef, F you!"
                                                                                                                    And tossed his ass in a tureen.

                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                    1. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                      It should happen to Gordon Ramsay!

                                                                                                                    2. Her bean dip I had already started.
                                                                                                                      "Have you tried it?" Her query I darted.
                                                                                                                      I answered half-hearted,
                                                                                                                      my lips never parted,
                                                                                                                      I just leaned to the left and I farted.

                                                                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                                                                      1. re: Veggo

                                                                                                                        classic

                                                                                                                      2. When the Munchies strike at the late hour
                                                                                                                        and all choices of sweet salty sour
                                                                                                                        lay before the 'Hound's mind
                                                                                                                        but so oft we decline
                                                                                                                        and just Nuke some Nachos, and devour.

                                                                                                                        Anybody been there? :)

                                                                                                                        1. Bechemel -- what the hell.

                                                                                                                          Melt some fat to make a good roux;
                                                                                                                          Add some flour, a teaspoon or two;
                                                                                                                          Wisk in milk or some cream,
                                                                                                                          In a slow, steady stream,
                                                                                                                          Let it thicken, and then you are through.

                                                                                                                          Or expand on this versitile dish.
                                                                                                                          Add nutmeg or cheese, if you wish.
                                                                                                                          Dried beef would be cool --
                                                                                                                          There's really no rule --
                                                                                                                          Amost anything would be delish!

                                                                                                                          7 Replies
                                                                                                                          1. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                            Chickaboom, chickaboom, don'tcha just love it! I do! :)

                                                                                                                            1. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                              and Bechemel, the haiku:

                                                                                                                              Creamy, winter white,
                                                                                                                              Queen Mother of rich sauces.
                                                                                                                              Ah lipidicious!

                                                                                                                              1. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                                LIPIDICIOUS--perfection! This is my favorite new word. :)

                                                                                                                                1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                  as in "Food cooked with bacon fat is lipidicious".

                                                                                                                                  Thank you. After a tough day at work, my brain needs to flit.

                                                                                                                                2. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                                  I'm a bit of a linguiphile myself, and I especially love made-up words that need no further explanation. I'm adding "lipidicious" to my collection. Thanks, PattiCakes!

                                                                                                                                3. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                                  re: roux

                                                                                                                                  I like this idea, and if you please
                                                                                                                                  I'll make mine with diced ham and peas
                                                                                                                                  Served upon noodles
                                                                                                                                  We'll eat oodles
                                                                                                                                  Sprinkled with parmesan cheese

                                                                                                                                  1. re: clamscasino

                                                                                                                                    To béchamel and peas
                                                                                                                                    Add poached chicken if you please
                                                                                                                                    Herbes de Provence also add
                                                                                                                                    And now make biscuits like mad
                                                                                                                                    Enjoy biscuits and chicken gravy at your ease.

                                                                                                                                4. Went for dinner one night, on a date
                                                                                                                                  She said " A menu with offal, that's great"
                                                                                                                                  I seldom disdain
                                                                                                                                  A woman with brains
                                                                                                                                  But I prefer they not be on her plate

                                                                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                                                                  1. re: Rmis32

                                                                                                                                    LOL! And I appreciate your philosophy, too. :)

                                                                                                                                  2. There once was a Chow Hound from OZ
                                                                                                                                    Who hassled the Yanks just because
                                                                                                                                    Their "cups" weren't the same,
                                                                                                                                    so this recipe game
                                                                                                                                    Would sometimes end up a shamoz!

                                                                                                                                    1. If you start me up, I'll never stop...

                                                                                                                                      I will roast, braise or saute
                                                                                                                                      Some fish & veggies today
                                                                                                                                      Then I'll add in some spice
                                                                                                                                      Serve this dish over rice
                                                                                                                                      And quaff down some chilled Chardonnay

                                                                                                                                      1. Not a limerick, I know, but from my blog last year:

                                                                                                                                        My Ode to Duck Fat.

                                                                                                                                        Had we but world enough, and time,
                                                                                                                                        Every dish would be made of thine!
                                                                                                                                        We would sit down and think which way
                                                                                                                                        To cook with thou, everyest day.
                                                                                                                                        In the 'fridge, by the home made pesto's side
                                                                                                                                        Shouldst there I find you.
                                                                                                                                        Your vegetable love should grow
                                                                                                                                        Vaster than braising, and more slow;
                                                                                                                                        An hundred years should go to praise
                                                                                                                                        The sheen you givest to a red-wine glaze;
                                                                                                                                        Two hundred to you and lemon zest,
                                                                                                                                        But thirty thousand to the rest;
                                                                                                                                        An age at least to every part,
                                                                                                                                        And the last age should show your heart.
                                                                                                                                        For, Duck Fat, you deserve this state,
                                                                                                                                        Nor would I cook at slower rate.

                                                                                                                                        But at my back I always hear
                                                                                                                                        Hungry children hurrying near;
                                                                                                                                        And yonder all before us lie
                                                                                                                                        Deserts of fast foodie-ty.
                                                                                                                                        Thy beauty shall no more be found,
                                                                                                                                        in a Macca's chain, ne'er shall sound
                                                                                                                                        Your oleaginous song: then worms shall try
                                                                                                                                        That long preserved confit,
                                                                                                                                        And your quaint flavour turn to dust,
                                                                                                                                        And into ashes all my lust:
                                                                                                                                        KFC's fine and private place,
                                                                                                                                        But Subway, I think, do not you, embrace.

                                                                                                                                        Now therefore, while the oleaginous hue
                                                                                                                                        Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
                                                                                                                                        And while thy salivating tongue transpires
                                                                                                                                        At every pore with wood-fired ovens' fires,
                                                                                                                                        Now let us sautee while we may,
                                                                                                                                        And we'll get to use our Le Creuset ,
                                                                                                                                        Rather at once our Chats devour
                                                                                                                                        Than languish in the slow-cooker's power.
                                                                                                                                        Let us roll all our Rosemary and all
                                                                                                                                        Our Maldon Sea Salt up into one ball,
                                                                                                                                        And tear your pleasures with rough strife
                                                                                                                                        Forgetting what you'll do to our cholesterol, for life:
                                                                                                                                        Thus, though we bought you for a hefty price,
                                                                                                                                        you'll go SO well with Arborio rice!

                                                                                                                                        Apologies to Andrew Marvell.

                                                                                                                                        1. I eschew bagels on passover
                                                                                                                                          making it pointless to take out the Nova
                                                                                                                                          I think I will try
                                                                                                                                          some sweet matzoh brei
                                                                                                                                          and perhaps invite m-m-m-y Sharona

                                                                                                                                          3 Replies
                                                                                                                                          1. re: Rmis32

                                                                                                                                            Oy vey iz mir, to have your Knack!

                                                                                                                                            1. re: Rmis32

                                                                                                                                              R Mis 32, you're a LAFF,
                                                                                                                                              My response will be suitably naff,
                                                                                                                                              As I laughed at your prose,
                                                                                                                                              coffee shot out my nose.
                                                                                                                                              And here at work, that's a noticeable gaff!!

                                                                                                                                              1. re: purple goddess

                                                                                                                                                It is clear, my friend, Purple Goddess
                                                                                                                                                Your poetry makes you quite an artist
                                                                                                                                                You've earned my applause
                                                                                                                                                For the endless guffaws
                                                                                                                                                Keeping a straight face is the hardest

                                                                                                                                            2. I try to be a locavor
                                                                                                                                              to help out our planet, some more
                                                                                                                                              In summer, it's delightful
                                                                                                                                              In fall, somewhat frightful
                                                                                                                                              And winter is simply a bore

                                                                                                                                              5 Replies
                                                                                                                                              1. re: Rmis32

                                                                                                                                                Let's regain our focus,
                                                                                                                                                soon we'll have bloomin' crocus.
                                                                                                                                                We'll paddle canoes
                                                                                                                                                or in hammocks we'll snooze.
                                                                                                                                                The absence of snow has awoke us!

                                                                                                                                                1. re: Veggo

                                                                                                                                                  My old china plate, you are wrong,
                                                                                                                                                  your US-centricity earns you a gong,
                                                                                                                                                  Here in Oz it's all quinces
                                                                                                                                                  and rib-sticking minces
                                                                                                                                                  While you Yanks prance around in a thong!

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: purple goddess

                                                                                                                                                    I feel the pain from your blog.
                                                                                                                                                    I scarcely experience such a flog.
                                                                                                                                                    As I prance at the Grand Lido
                                                                                                                                                    they think there's a squirrel in my Speedo
                                                                                                                                                    and the Aussie lassies are agog!

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Veggo

                                                                                                                                                      I seriously just fell of my chair laughing, and now my patients are eyeing me rather nervously! I'll get back to you on this one!

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: purple goddess

                                                                                                                                                        This thread was about cookin' hash
                                                                                                                                                        Until the two o' you started talkin' trash
                                                                                                                                                        So, get yersefs cooled down
                                                                                                                                                        Before the Mods start to frown
                                                                                                                                                        And yer e-tryst leaves us aghast

                                                                                                                                              2. You Chowhounds are right on the money
                                                                                                                                                Your limericks -- exceedingly funny!
                                                                                                                                                This is such a great thread,
                                                                                                                                                But I read it in bed
                                                                                                                                                And I got some strange looks from my honey!

                                                                                                                                                1. The six whole eggs I separated
                                                                                                                                                  With cream and a whisk, I agitated
                                                                                                                                                  Then sugar and vanilla bean
                                                                                                                                                  I poured the mixture through a screen
                                                                                                                                                  With creme brulee we celebrated

                                                                                                                                                  1. She said tonight for a change
                                                                                                                                                    It's chicken and something strange.
                                                                                                                                                    I think I shall bake
                                                                                                                                                    A steak from a snake
                                                                                                                                                    And call it a Grange exchange.

                                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Gio

                                                                                                                                                      That was fowl.

                                                                                                                                                    2. anyone new?

                                                                                                                                                      19 Replies
                                                                                                                                                      1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                        The only new recipe I've seen
                                                                                                                                                        was for subduing the flatulent bean.
                                                                                                                                                        It said to rinse thrice
                                                                                                                                                        and add lots of spice
                                                                                                                                                        But my farts still turned out pretty mean.

                                                                                                                                                        (Foodfuser attended a gathering last night where bean dishes were judged, and I over-ingested in my jurisprudal purview. I apologize for "popping off" in this 10 a.m. limerick.)

                                                                                                                                                        1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                          When a bean recipe you read
                                                                                                                                                          Make sure there's room 'nough to breathe.
                                                                                                                                                          For if you're forgetful
                                                                                                                                                          And need to be hopeful
                                                                                                                                                          Be sure to use Epazote.

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Gio

                                                                                                                                                            If you're with a beautiful tart
                                                                                                                                                            Its probably better not to fart
                                                                                                                                                            Cause it would be a bit of a dissapointment
                                                                                                                                                            If she had to suddenly go to her next appointment
                                                                                                                                                            Leaving you with just an an enlarged part

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                                                                                                                                              Ha!!

                                                                                                                                                            2. re: Gio

                                                                                                                                                              Agreed on the Epazote for home prep. But....

                                                                                                                                                              When their "best beans" are ranged in a row
                                                                                                                                                              And judges must taste each in tow
                                                                                                                                                              It's too late for that herb
                                                                                                                                                              Though it works quite superb
                                                                                                                                                              Next time I'll prepare with "Beano".

                                                                                                                                                            3. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                              Don't mean to make a big stink, but

                                                                                                                                                              the bean and its troubles in rhyme
                                                                                                                                                              kill my appetite dead every time
                                                                                                                                                              hate to be a fuss budget
                                                                                                                                                              but if we must discuss it
                                                                                                                                                              can we wait til it's not dinnertime?

                                                                                                                                                              i'm only kidding, FoodFuser. It came to mind and I couldn't resist. :)

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: fern

                                                                                                                                                                The conundrum_of when beans get the rhyming
                                                                                                                                                                Is vexed by the sun's daily climbing.
                                                                                                                                                                Beantime in L.A.
                                                                                                                                                                ain't the same as Bombay,
                                                                                                                                                                But agreed: it's all about timing.

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                  love it!

                                                                                                                                                                  good god, i feel positively illiterate.

                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: fern

                                                                                                                                                                    Naw...

                                                                                                                                                                    The Limerick and Haiku are cool
                                                                                                                                                                    'cuz sustained brevity is the rule.
                                                                                                                                                                    If we Chowhounds would write of
                                                                                                                                                                    the dishes we do love
                                                                                                                                                                    We'd share our good food, not just gruel.

                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: fern

                                                                                                                                                                      Eating beans is a true sport
                                                                                                                                                                      That can cut good manners a bit short
                                                                                                                                                                      If you offer up that big fart
                                                                                                                                                                      Making all others quickly depart
                                                                                                                                                                      You'll be left all alone, shamed as a dork

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                                                                                                                                                        If the bean eaters all are like minded,
                                                                                                                                                                        sound and smell just won't make them blinded.
                                                                                                                                                                        They are sharing a feast...
                                                                                                                                                                        gives more gas than does yeast.
                                                                                                                                                                        Wind-breakers are pretty broadminded.

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                          FoodFuser and Fern
                                                                                                                                                                          It's clearly your turn
                                                                                                                                                                          To recognize what we're here starting
                                                                                                                                                                          And to start a new thread on farting
                                                                                                                                                                          Extolling on the perils of bean heartburn

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                                                                                                                                                            To start a new thread labeled "farting"
                                                                                                                                                                            has attraction, but's finally disheartening,
                                                                                                                                                                            Since our focus is cooking
                                                                                                                                                                            And the Mods are sure looking
                                                                                                                                                                            Restraint keeps my quill-hand from smarting.

                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                              food fuser, you are brilliant!

                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                Worry not - those guys are thick skinned.
                                                                                                                                                                                Your post will sink if you've sinned.
                                                                                                                                                                                We've nothing but praise
                                                                                                                                                                                For your flatulent phrase.
                                                                                                                                                                                Unless there's a change in the wind.

                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                  I'll agree that the way to keep friends
                                                                                                                                                                                  is a wet finger poised in the wind.
                                                                                                                                                                                  It gives you direction
                                                                                                                                                                                  for relief, sans detection,
                                                                                                                                                                                  if you might commit flatulent sin.

                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                    LOL!

                                                                                                                                                                                    >>>"We've nothing but praise
                                                                                                                                                                                    For your flatulent phrase.
                                                                                                                                                                                    Unless there's a change in the wind."<<<

                                                                                                                                                                                    right on, right on!

                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: Sam Fujisaka

                                                                                                                                                                              Memories of Family Dinner at our House

                                                                                                                                                                              They giggled while I remained steady
                                                                                                                                                                              NO MORE of this flatulent medley!
                                                                                                                                                                              Alas, the smart asses
                                                                                                                                                                              Had the last laugh-es
                                                                                                                                                                              They got me with Silent but Deadly.

                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: fern

                                                                                                                                                                                Good one, fern!

                                                                                                                                                                                I too was raised in similar ranks of dinnertime manners:

                                                                                                                                                                                Each family has that stealthy sibling
                                                                                                                                                                                who "lets one go" while we're all nibbling.
                                                                                                                                                                                We all look around;
                                                                                                                                                                                accusations abound...
                                                                                                                                                                                It's the funnest of family quibbling.

                                                                                                                                                                                One can go through life farting, you see,
                                                                                                                                                                                If you've mastered that mean "SBD".
                                                                                                                                                                                Just stay stoic and smart
                                                                                                                                                                                as your wind you impart
                                                                                                                                                                                And for years you can get off Scot-free.

                                                                                                                                                                                Today when we meet for the holidays
                                                                                                                                                                                and talk always turns to those latterdays
                                                                                                                                                                                Each sib' claims the place
                                                                                                                                                                                of the "SBD Ace"...
                                                                                                                                                                                Our myth of that farter will always blaze.

                                                                                                                                                                                It's possible that real truth be:
                                                                                                                                                                                EACH mastered that foul SBD
                                                                                                                                                                                So jostling for position
                                                                                                                                                                                in this family tradition
                                                                                                                                                                                Is moot: It's genetic, you see.

                                                                                                                                                                  2. When I silently release my methane
                                                                                                                                                                    it's with practiced innocence I feign.
                                                                                                                                                                    The culprit is near
                                                                                                                                                                    and it's somebody here.
                                                                                                                                                                    Everyone in the elevator shares the pain.

                                                                                                                                                                    4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Veggo

                                                                                                                                                                      If the victims were always just strangers,
                                                                                                                                                                      then family would be freed from the dangers.
                                                                                                                                                                      I came home from bean judgin',
                                                                                                                                                                      Had a family discussion.
                                                                                                                                                                      Yep. I slept with the goats in the manger.

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                        Goats and beans in a stew.
                                                                                                                                                                        Is the new thing to do.
                                                                                                                                                                        Get out your pot,
                                                                                                                                                                        Have a shot,
                                                                                                                                                                        And we'll all have lunch at two.

                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: Veggo

                                                                                                                                                                        They say beans are a magical fruit.
                                                                                                                                                                        They're cheap and don't cost too much loot.
                                                                                                                                                                        They're certainly healthy,
                                                                                                                                                                        But you'd better be stealthy
                                                                                                                                                                        When it's not just your horn you might toot!

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                          Yes it's true beans are not that expensive
                                                                                                                                                                          And their protein, with grain, is extensive.
                                                                                                                                                                          But the gas then produced
                                                                                                                                                                          While easily deduced
                                                                                                                                                                          is, among friends, rarely offensive.

                                                                                                                                                                      3. Is it appropriate this Father's Day to move us to a favorite breakfast dish?

                                                                                                                                                                        Ode to Breakfast 1:

                                                                                                                                                                        Good soft boiled eggs are an experience
                                                                                                                                                                        that cooks can refine to ascendance
                                                                                                                                                                        Time your yolk-set just perfect
                                                                                                                                                                        for the way that you slurp it
                                                                                                                                                                        Dig in and ignore chin's appearance.

                                                                                                                                                                        1. Ode to Breakfast 2

                                                                                                                                                                          Breakfast pork whether belly or bacon
                                                                                                                                                                          Gives aromas to which I awaken
                                                                                                                                                                          On this Father's Day maybe
                                                                                                                                                                          Twenty slices will sate me
                                                                                                                                                                          On this day I get last pieces taken.

                                                                                                                                                                          1. Ode to Breakfast 3

                                                                                                                                                                            When whole oatmeal is soaked in the fridge
                                                                                                                                                                            With raisins prunes bran (just a smidge)
                                                                                                                                                                            You're respecting your colon
                                                                                                                                                                            No, your youth was not stolen
                                                                                                                                                                            but many_years have flowed under the bridge.

                                                                                                                                                                            1. Ode to breakfast 4

                                                                                                                                                                              Breakfast of yogurt, banana, and berries
                                                                                                                                                                              Or some cut up plums, pears, and cherries
                                                                                                                                                                              But on this day when fathers rest
                                                                                                                                                                              Lots of starch and greasy fat are by far the best
                                                                                                                                                                              Then off to nap and dreams of sugar plum fairies

                                                                                                                                                                              1. Ode to Breakfast 5

                                                                                                                                                                                We must also consider the beverage
                                                                                                                                                                                On this day when Dads have the leverage
                                                                                                                                                                                OJ, coffee, and cream
                                                                                                                                                                                I accept as supreme
                                                                                                                                                                                ... miso soup brings it way above average.

                                                                                                                                                                                1. dear daddy who learned how to make
                                                                                                                                                                                  eggs sunny side up for our sake
                                                                                                                                                                                  you were a kitchen disaster
                                                                                                                                                                                  long before and way after
                                                                                                                                                                                  but your eggs... those really were great!

                                                                                                                                                                                  3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: cimui

                                                                                                                                                                                    That is sweet, cimui.

                                                                                                                                                                                    My Dad was pretty good with eggs, but he had a weird fascination for BisQuik. When we saw him reaching into "that cabinet" with a crazed look in his eye in the morning we knew that the dreaded "drop biscuits" were on the way.

                                                                                                                                                                                    But hey... he survived the Normandy invasion and is still healthy on this earth and his new wife is an excellent cook but she shares that yes he still tries to make drop biscuits. I say that he deserves to keep that quirk. Here's to you, Dad.

                                                                                                                                                                                    The limerick:

                                                                                                                                                                                    Here's thanks for your making drop biscuits...
                                                                                                                                                                                    the BisQuik, your glee as you whisked it.
                                                                                                                                                                                    They emerged as charred stones
                                                                                                                                                                                    dense heavy dough scones
                                                                                                                                                                                    But you taught us that butter would fix it.

                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                      What a lovely memory, FoodFuser. I agree: if you survived Normandy, you can make whatever kind of drop biscuits you like! And butter really does fix almost anything. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                        My dad was also in Khaki.
                                                                                                                                                                                        Stationed beside Nagasaki
                                                                                                                                                                                        That memory's traumatic
                                                                                                                                                                                        For a fried egg fanatic.
                                                                                                                                                                                        And he still cannot bear to drink saki

                                                                                                                                                                                        He describes being in the army of occupation, seeing the whole city laid waste. The shadow of a man blasted on a wall. The first shops being re-built on the high street, like a Hollywood film set, step between the buildings and to the horizon all he could see was rubble.

                                                                                                                                                                                        The one advantage is that after returning to Liverpool he developed an affection for Chinese food.

                                                                                                                                                                                    2. Ode to breakfast 6

                                                                                                                                                                                      To eat breakfast is a must
                                                                                                                                                                                      But no bacon and eggs I trust
                                                                                                                                                                                      Being Indian I say
                                                                                                                                                                                      Its parantha's all the way
                                                                                                                                                                                      And crispy dhosa with a crust

                                                                                                                                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: waytob

                                                                                                                                                                                        waycool!

                                                                                                                                                                                      2. Ode to breakfast 7:

                                                                                                                                                                                        When it's bacon and eggs that I crave
                                                                                                                                                                                        I indulge, despite consequence grave
                                                                                                                                                                                        Then it's off to the gym
                                                                                                                                                                                        So that I can stay slim
                                                                                                                                                                                        And remain a smoked piggy part slave.

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. Ode to Breakfast #7

                                                                                                                                                                                          Scald some milk, then let cool to 110.
                                                                                                                                                                                          Whisk in lactobacillus and then
                                                                                                                                                                                          Let it sit where it's warm
                                                                                                                                                                                          (Overnight is the norm).
                                                                                                                                                                                          Yogurt this good makes me shout "Amen!"

                                                                                                                                                                                          Mix up oatmeal, brown sugar, oil,
                                                                                                                                                                                          Maple syrup and nuts, spread on foil.
                                                                                                                                                                                          Cinnamon I'll devour
                                                                                                                                                                                          Bake it for half an hour.
                                                                                                                                                                                          Great granola takes nearly no toil.

                                                                                                                                                                                          The best part, as I'm sure you've awaited,
                                                                                                                                                                                          Is to drink once your hunger is sated.
                                                                                                                                                                                          A nice Earl Grey tea
                                                                                                                                                                                          Milk and sugar for me
                                                                                                                                                                                          Days go better when you're caffeinated.

                                                                                                                                                                                          That was fun. Thanks all above for the laughs!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                          1. Anti-Breakfast Ode:

                                                                                                                                                                                            Though tis thought it should be tres hearty
                                                                                                                                                                                            Breakfast holds no thrills for me.
                                                                                                                                                                                            I prefer to go slow
                                                                                                                                                                                            And wait till I know
                                                                                                                                                                                            Where will be the next dinner party.

                                                                                                                                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Gio

                                                                                                                                                                                              *laugh*

                                                                                                                                                                                              you rebel! i'm beginning to suspect you write limericks for a living....

                                                                                                                                                                                            2. Buttery lemon and yolk taste so great
                                                                                                                                                                                              When they top the food that rests on my plate
                                                                                                                                                                                              It's not just a phase
                                                                                                                                                                                              I love hollandaise
                                                                                                                                                                                              But I sure hate what it does to my weight

                                                                                                                                                                                              1. Salt, ginger, GF flour, flaxseed,
                                                                                                                                                                                                with this bread there's no need to knead.
                                                                                                                                                                                                Almond mylk, sugar, tahini,
                                                                                                                                                                                                grate and add lots of zucchini.
                                                                                                                                                                                                Invite me, you won't have to plead.

                                                                                                                                                                                                (based on Zucchini Tahini Bread, p. 476 Vegan Planet by Robin Robertson)

                                                                                                                                                                                                1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: lgss

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Take 2

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Salt, ginger, GF flour, flaxseed,
                                                                                                                                                                                                  with this bread there's no need to knead.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Mylk, sugar, tahini,
                                                                                                                                                                                                  add grated zucchini.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Invite me, you won't have to plead.

                                                                                                                                                                                                2. Lament for Greens

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Spinach, kale, collard greens,
                                                                                                                                                                                                  all go great with our beans.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Limit them the docs say,
                                                                                                                                                                                                  due to vitamin K.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Oh, to still be in my teens.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: lgss

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Spinach, broc'li, kale, collard greens,
                                                                                                                                                                                                    all go great with pasta and beans.
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Limit them the docs say,
                                                                                                                                                                                                    due to vitamin K.
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Wish they'd said that when in my teens.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. Lament for broccoli

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Three months with no more broccoli,
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Alas and good grief, woe is me.
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Such a rude shock and a bummer.
                                                                                                                                                                                                    At least it's during the summer.
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Thank goodness, just temporary.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: lgss

                                                                                                                                                                                                      broccoli, rejoice, you are free!
                                                                                                                                                                                                      from lgss and her greens-eating glee
                                                                                                                                                                                                      you'll escape with your heads
                                                                                                                                                                                                      while she eats more Reds
                                                                                                                                                                                                      now the tomatoes and carrots must flee!

                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: cimui

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Cute! Yep, carrots, tomatoes, and zucchini are definitely in danger...

                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: lgss

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Three month with no more broccoli,
                                                                                                                                                                                                        Alas and good grief, woe is me.
                                                                                                                                                                                                        Such a shock and bummer,
                                                                                                                                                                                                        at least it's still summer.
                                                                                                                                                                                                        Thank goodness, just temporary.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      3. There's a fish fry coming up, and we're promised some catfish from a fellow who always makes his limit of channel cat.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Thus the limerick:

                                                                                                                                                                                                        When catfish is fried, and some 'taters,
                                                                                                                                                                                                        The sides should be slaw and sliced 'maters.
                                                                                                                                                                                                        A guest who cooks light
                                                                                                                                                                                                        should decline the invite
                                                                                                                                                                                                        'Cuz we use tartar sauce by the slathers.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                          This one came to me around 3 AM, when I was woken from sound sleep by a bout of SEVERE gastrointestinal distress.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          My tounge/tastebuds strong pleasure volition
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Is at odds with my stomach's condition
                                                                                                                                                                                                          One says feast, one says fast
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Don't know If I'll outlast
                                                                                                                                                                                                          This nutrional war of attrition.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          and in counter (yes it know the rhyme's aren't perfect)

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Cato gave the best diet advice
                                                                                                                                                                                                          when he said "eat to live; not verse vise"
                                                                                                                                                                                                          But this plan I abjure
                                                                                                                                                                                                          for who wants to endure
                                                                                                                                                                                                          food without variety's spice.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: jumpingmonk

                                                                                                                                                                                                            oh and here's another one (this one may require some web research to get)

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Most people, they haven't a clue
                                                                                                                                                                                                            When I say that I've mastered Gong Fu
                                                                                                                                                                                                            I can't fight worth a spit
                                                                                                                                                                                                            my Gong Fu skill's to sit
                                                                                                                                                                                                            and fine oolong teas properly brew

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: jumpingmonk

                                                                                                                                                                                                              To master Gong Fu
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Is wonderful for you
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Gai Wan is better for me
                                                                                                                                                                                                              I sit and sip my tea
                                                                                                                                                                                                              And don’t trouble with something new

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: yayadave

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Ti Guan Yin is my brew day to day;
                                                                                                                                                                                                                Fine high mountain jade my weekends play
                                                                                                                                                                                                                But on days most auspicios
                                                                                                                                                                                                                demand tea most delicios
                                                                                                                                                                                                                on those days, its Tie lo Han all the way

                                                                                                                                                                                                                From my previos verse you will see
                                                                                                                                                                                                                Tie lo Han is my favorite tea
                                                                                                                                                                                                                though my love for it bubbles
                                                                                                                                                                                                                Getting good can have troubles
                                                                                                                                                                                                                so I sometimes settle for Rou Gui

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: jumpingmonk

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Cheap and dark Red Label tea
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Is sometimes fine for me
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I warm myself in the sun
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  And let my thoughts just run
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Gentle peace and slooow, you see.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  For a spur to action
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Lapsang Souchong gives satisfaction
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  With a strong smoky note
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  It smells like creosote
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Other people have an adverse reaction.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  For friendly talk and no commotion
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Tea with bergamot is my notion
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  A drop of honey in the tea
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Gives smooth sweetness for me
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  And all within my view is fine formation.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. We once found some clams on Nantucket
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Enough to fill a whole bucket
                                                                                                                                                                                                          But later our boat sprung a leak
                                                                                                                                                                                                          With water up to my seat
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Dumpt the clams and bailed with the bucket

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. Musing on Breakfast

                                                                                                                                                                                                            There once was a young man from Nowhere
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Who always wanted to get Somewhere
                                                                                                                                                                                                            But skipping breakfast each day
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Was not really the way
                                                                                                                                                                                                            For he was always too pooped to get Anywhere

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. A few chillis, a dash of lime
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Roasted cashews make it sublime
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Some sugar, some salt
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Some cumin for a jolt
                                                                                                                                                                                                              A green chutney to savour through time

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. Leftover roast lamb on my platter.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                Need Tzatziki as a fact of the matter.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                Some yogurt I bought,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                A cuke and some thought,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                With cold lamb souvlaki I’m fatter!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. Does it bother anyone else that a significant number of these are not limericks because although they use the A-A-B-B-A rhyme scheme, they don't have proper meter? Meter in a limerick is always:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DA(-da)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DA(-da)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  da-da-da-da-DA
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  da-da-da-da-DA
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DA(-da)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The occasional run-on last line is acceptable when it's done for comic effect (like Gio's "There was an old man from Milan..."), but otherwise, da rules is da rules!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Or is it just me being my usual pedantic self?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  29 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I do feel your frustration BobB
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    (But I had thought it might just be me)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    This place is for food
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Not meter that's good
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Let's just enjoy creativity!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I had noticed that as well - but just figured poetic license had been extended (a great deal) to allow for varying types of rhymin' Simons to come up with their couplets.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Oh Bob don't be so pedantic
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        You'll get yourself a new eye tic
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        We just like good food
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        And when in the mood
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        We write lines that don't rhyme and don't have good meter - is your middle name Nic?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: yayadave

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          When reading food limericks for pleasure
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          A perfectly formed line I treasure
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          But I'll just play along
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          When the meter's all wrong
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          As long as there's wit in good measure.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I'm not trying to write you a thesis
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            You use pints over here, and not litres.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Those Imperial brains
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Somewhat explains
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The problems you all have with metres.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          BB:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          There are rules to be used as you say
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          How-ever crea-tive minds lay.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          But here at Chowhound
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          It soon will be found
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          There are those who simply won't play.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          As for food I might like to cook
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I search my most favorite cookbook.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          It's always at hand
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Like a grand sous chef band,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          The meal's done by hook or by crook

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Perhaps we could use this humble definition as a starting point:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            "The standard form of a limerick is a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth having eight or nine syllables and rhyming with one another, and the third and fourth having five or six and rhyming separately. Lines are usually written in the anapaestic meter, but can also be amphibrachic."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Huhhhhh?.....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Gosh, I sure wish I knew what that means.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            All I know is: I write about beans.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            If I clean up my act
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            with decorum and tact
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I'll tone down to frisee and spring greens.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            "Amphibrachic"?..... "Anapaestic"?.....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Gosh, I sure wish that I understood that.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Thems big words; I just came here to chit chat
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Sure, the meter is Irish
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            But I'm not too aspirish
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            to get rhythm just perfect and down pat.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            As to purity of limerical form while in this forum, i would propose a simple mindset of forgiveness for us sometimes breaking the amphibrachic, with corollary cheers when someone grabs the brass ring.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The limerick is a joy for us rabble;
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            it's just organized humorous babble.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The difficult part
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            (Once you get a good start)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            is to accent the just-right syll-AB'le.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              You are good. Really, REALLY good. ;-)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Applause, Applause, FoodFusah
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Ya soitenly knows ya Da Dah,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Let us give notice
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                To all who to all who oppose us
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Twill be Beans for their next dinnah.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I will sit, mouth agape, and in awe
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Of this master of limerick law
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Syllabic delight!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The meter's just right!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  My damn jealousy sticks in my craw.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I'm enjoying all the creativity. So, is the (-da) at the end of lines 1, 2, and 5 optional? I suspect that for many it's been a lot of years since we've had any poetry instruction. Thanks for setting us straight.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: lgss

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Yes, as long as the emphasis is on the eighth syllable, an unstressed ninth is optional. Thus, a limerick could start out with either:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    There once was an amorous DUCK..

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    or

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    There was an old man from NanTUCKet...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The limerick really comes down to remembering the phrase:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    "There ONCE was a MAN from NanTUCKet". (That's the rhythm and accent of "A".)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Then the complete AABBA, where "B" is shorter, 6 syllables:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    one two THREE one two THREE:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    There once was a man from Nantucket
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    But his DAUGHter, named NAN,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Ran aWAY with a MAN
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    These might help:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    an·a·pest also an·a·paest (n-pst)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    n.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. A metrical foot composed of two short syllables followed by one long one, as in the word seventeen.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. A line of verse using this meter; for example, "'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house" (Clement Clarke Moore).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    And

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    In English stress-based poetry, an amphibrach is a stressed syllable surrounded by two unstressed syllables. It is the main foot used in the construction of the limerick, e.g., "There was a | young lady | of Wantage"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Please forgive the pedantry.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The limerick is a favorite form, first introduced to me by a fourth grade teacher who was a fount of early feminism. Her recent funeral was attended by hundreds. She is still remembered and discussed.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    One day she managed to find a private one minute moment with me within the whirl of activity in her classroom, while I was working limericks, and she winked "you know, these are the types of poems where people get rowdy.. that's what they're known for."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    What a gift from the greatest of teachers.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      And the greatest tribute to that teacher is the fact that your gift remains as sharp as ever - and that you've shared it with us!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        That is NOT the Nantucket limerick I know. My FIL actually started collecting limericks during WWII, and we have a ton of yellow-ruled paper on which he hand wrote most of them. They range from mildly naughty to flagrently disgusting. My personal favorite concerned "a young man from Mass".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I found early on that I had a very strange ability to "think" in limerick, much like FoofFuser. I can pop out a limerick in a few minutes on almost any topic. Some might call it a gift, but it can be VERY annoying when you can't get your brain out of the limerick rut. I can also belch on command. Sad.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Limericks in general do tend to the blue. I have a delightful book, originally published some 45 years ago, that contains hundreds of them, and as it says on the cover, "This is the largest collection of limericks ever published, erotic or otherwise. Of the 1700 printed here, none is otherwise."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            It's great that we got a few people together who know and care about the form and are sharing the nuts and bolts AND the cover stories. I think having "flexible" meter counts is standard and accepted. From recent info I've gotten on the subject, haiku is also not entirely rigid on count.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            It's funny the stuff that everybody hated to learn becomes interesting and useful later. Last year I bot a book about diagramming sentences. I think I set it aside right after I found what appears to be a mistake in her diagram. TeeHee I guess that dates me! When did they quit diagramming sentences in school?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            And I recently dedicated a book at the local library to a favorite English teacher who passed.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              And then, of course, there are the limericks in The Listing Attic, by Edward Gorey. which aren't really dirty, just really dark, morbid, and oftimes more than a little sick.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          And then came to this thread: Bob B,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Who attempted to thwart all our glee.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          With a stroke of his pen
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          He reminds us again-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          What the rules of this rhymin' should be.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          So I think I shall try, mightily
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          To come up with something more fully,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          In line with the rules-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          My brain has the tools...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          But now is behaving unduly.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          In time I'll attempt to correct
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          All previous poems that were blech.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          But I'll say it again
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          There's a pain in my head
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          And dinner's not ready quite yet...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          (wink)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: clamscasino

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            clamscasino, you've made the 200th post on this thread! you should win some prize.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              How about a thesaurus?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: clamscasino

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                good one! ;-)). also, maybe a rhyming dictionary (i'm not suggesting that you need it; i just thought that'd be a nice resource).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Wow, they have those? I change my mind.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  And thanks for resurrecting this thread! You deserve a prize for that. So much fun....too much actually.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: clamscasino

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    cc -- here's a free online rhyming dictionary, and i entered "nantucket". some rhymes are obviously better than others, but...you get the idea. fun (and *another* time waster!)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    http://www.rhymer.com/RhymingDictiona...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    there are also other free offerings. i love the internet!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    edit: oh goodness, looky here at this resource! http://dictionary.langenberg.com/

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Oh noooooooo!!!!!! Alkapal!!! You've opened the floodgates!!! As Prometheus brought fire to Man, ye hath empowered with rhyme!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      This thread once was safe from the masses,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      who before, thought that butts rhymed with asses.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Now this thread they will fill,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      they'll keep posting until
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      our computers run slow as molasses

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      But perhaps, that's how it should be.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Let those non-rhyming hounds share our glee.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Now that all can give limerick
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      the posts will be so thick
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      We'll be reading till midnight, hee hee!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        more like pandora's box! ;-)).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I've tried to join in the fun rhyming
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          But found I severely lacked timing.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Alkapal gave a gift
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          to Hounds who were miffed
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          We're no longer nickel and diming!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Oh my gosh...rhymer.com suggests "chocolate" for an "end rhyme" to Nantucket. hmmm...move over bacon...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        clams dipped in chocolate

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          What a perfect resource for a rhymer
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I can look up a word in that primer.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          An amazing bonanza
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          When stuck in a stanza
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Made an expert from a first timer.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. On Chowhound I'm spending my time,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              trying to make a lim'rick rhyme.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Better go make din-NER,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Before I get Thin-NER,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Maybe something with thyme or lime.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. Since Alkapal gave us the keys
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                to the Kingdom of limerick ease
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Let's hope there'll be authors
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                who pull faves from their coffers
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                And post up some great recipes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Ode to FF

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I have to admit that FoodFuse
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Is everyone's own special muse.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The rhymes are inspred!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  We never get tired,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Of a high that is better than booze.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Are Lim'ricks your fav'rite dish?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Better than choc'late or fish?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  You're compelled to create
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Lines served up on a plate,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Presented whenever we wish.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I shall search genealogy to establish
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    whether, in fact, I'm actually Irish.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    But since food is such fun
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    and words, too, use the tongue
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    There's food joy that's yet to accomplish.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. "Soufflé au fromage", if you please,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  "To make it is really a breeze"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  At the sound of the bell
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Found it burned straight to hell
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Said "fuck it" and made a grilled cheese.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: funklight

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    LOL and your avatar is pretty amusing, too!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. Bemusing the dilemma of the fashion models who restrict intake to 1,000 calories per day, with segue acknowledgment to the cheese souffle:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Supermodels are slim, svelte, and slinky
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    But their food tastes can run to the kinky.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Daytime lettuce and peas
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Can give way to night sleaze
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Of Kraft singles broiled over a Twinkie.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    6 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      you *have* to be the limerick star!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Thank you, but I shall gently demur. It's just that the burgeoning crowd has just barely begun posting.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        The lusty limerical construct of AABBA (dealt with above) is available to all of us to joyfully express our love of the grub. I look forward to the day where the Mods are splitting threads to "Limericks about processed cheese" versus "Limericks of aged cheese only." I am confident that there is that much fun energy out there.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        When them Chowhounds get down to production
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        of the A-A-B-B-A construction
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        They'll share their best food
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        with a similar brood
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        In rhythmical fun-filled construction.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          ff, i was adamant when i started on the "limerick" form that i should be accurate: "The standard form of a limerick is a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth having eight or nine syllables and rhyming with one another, and the third and fourth having five or six and rhyming separately. Lines are usually written in the anapaestic meter, but can also be amphibrachic.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          The first line traditionally introduces a person and a place, with the place appearing at the end of the first line and establishing the rhyme scheme for the second and fifth lines. In early limericks, the last line was often essentially a repeat of the first line, although this is no longer customary." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          i thus limited my artistic entries....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Yes. In every field there are those experts who choose to keep a broomstick intestinally lodged quite close to their lower lumbar vertebrae. Said syndrome leads to the administration of wrist slaps with rulers, and denial of the case for the universal poetical soul.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            When "experts" take rule-making position
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            They can frustrate a poet's ambition.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            If they eased up a bit
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            (re-adjusting broomstick)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Rhymes would come forth in natural fruition.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              You have hereby been granted your official Poetic License.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                A "Pat" on the wrist beats a rap on the carpals.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. When you buy four turkeys at Novemberr discount, you run the risk of not making full use by the time winter savory dishes have given way to cooler presentations for the warmer months.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Thus:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      There's a turkey that's been in my freezer
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      several months: it's a certified geezer.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Can I use it in ways
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      that are not just fillets
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      and still have a summertime pleaser?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      9 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        There once was a turkey in freezer
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Which became a bit of a teaser.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Till one bright guy thought
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Of the lettuce just bought
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        And said it's a Salad-like Caesar.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          For a turkey dish summ'ry and light
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Take a mixture of dark meat and white
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Poach, then chill for a day
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Serve it up en gelee
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          And your family will surely delight!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          (Or maybe not, but , "Yuck, meat jell-o!" doesn't rhyme)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            BobB seemed like such a nice fellow
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Till his recipe for (Yuck!) meat Jell-o!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            It did quite give me pause
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Won't put that in my jaws
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Meat en gelee sure makes me bellow!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              How about white chicken chili?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Though Scargod will think this is silly
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              White wine, beans and corn
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Comprise this food porn
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Topped with cheese, it's substantial, not frilly.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Full recipe here:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              http://www.chow.com/recipes/21765

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Methinks Kattyeyes IS silly...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                You cant throw together chili willy nilly!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It can have corn or posole
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                But, no chiles or pork- no way!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Holy mole, no pork? (It's not chili!)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: BobB

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Thanks Bob, but for special reasons I'll need to pass:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I could see that a turkey meat jello
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                would be smooth on the palate, and mellow.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                But my kids would wave toothpicks
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                to spear meat from their aspics
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                (Though they're generally well-behaved fellows).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I've had bad luck with things made like gelatin.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It gives kids that mischievious "gotcha" grin.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                They'll place it on chairs
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                so whoever sits there
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Gets their own special whooppee-like cushion.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                So while gelatin dishes are good
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                For we folks who have reached adulthood
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It's a "nix" in my house
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                To turn turkey to souse.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I'd Asspick it if I just could.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  It's brawn - that's the British expression
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  For head cheese, excuse the digression.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  This succulent jelly
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Of pig head and belly
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Shouldn't cause a psychotic depression

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The secret of aspic production
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Is the collagen and its reduction.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I've seen your technique
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  You use tongue-'n-cheek
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Go make this exquisite decoction

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    When my pre-teen gets wind of my stewin'
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    a gelee, he'll know he's got a shoe-in.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    He'll plot his devices
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    till I serve up the slices.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Such temptation would be my un-doin'.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      OK, I'll bite/...here is crawfish etoufee

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Melt butter and saute all'ya
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      veg'tables 'till throwing their water
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Add crawfish, with fat
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Stir around and "that's that!'
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Put on rice with green onion and Voila!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. A yummy quick compote of mine:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Frozen cherries, brown sugar and wine
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Some water, some zest
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              (Orange is best)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Boil it up, it's just simply divine

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. picking up my husband at dulles airport tonight, the people next to me had just returned from nantucket. i had to laugh.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Did you talk to these guys from Nantucket?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Or cop out and just Donald Duck it.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  These ord'nary folks
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Are the butt of our jokes
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  They're choiceless and just have to suck it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    An ice hockey fan from Nantucket
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Took his lunch to the rink in a bucket.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Alas it went bad.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The unfortunate lad
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Chucked it out on the ice & yelled "Puck it!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      yeah, i can relate to that! i wanna say "puck it" quite a lot these days!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. Cerviche's my favourite dish
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  A blend of crustacea and fish
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Soused in fresh lime
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  It pickles in time
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Then melts on the tongue like a wish.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    "Mr. P" has decided to bring
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    His Mohawk, his meanness, his bling.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    He'll "pity the fool"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    who denies rhyming rule.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    He'll whip metrical ass in this ring.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      In a manner of speaking you're right
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      to give such a rhymer delight.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      But those of us here
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Who work hard to cheer
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Say everyone's effort is bright.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Gio

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Some efforts are better than others
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        We all think the same: poet-brothers.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        To get things to rhyme
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        It always takes ages
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        And metrically it's easy to criticise each others.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Gio

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          My excuse for this praise of M.P.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          is 'cuz HE's the original O.P.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          He posted, then rested,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          while our rhymes he digested,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Then burped forth in rhythmical glee.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          It's obeisance, to a degree,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          to so credit a topics' O.P.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          but_his emergence from hiding
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          is rather exciting.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          "Join all!" in this syl-labic spree.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The original premise I think
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Was to write recipes with a wink.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            To that degree
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I'll gladly agree
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            And tender the poem in a blink.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            To make a stew that is true
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Get some meat, veggies and brew.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Throw in a pot.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Cook till it's hot.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Then will your hunger subdue.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. A true story...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      In France I dined out with my trainer
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      A great guy, and not a complainer
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      With his meal - tête de veau
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Suspense turned to woe
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Did he eat it? Well that's a no-brainer

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        In France, it has got to be tough
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Croissants are such caloric stuff
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        One egg breaks your fast?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        You can't possibly last!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        But, of course, when en France that's un oeuf.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          oooh, very slick there sista-kat (sophisto-kat).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            There's never, in the case of "un oeuf",
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            a time when one egg is enough.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Whether boiled or fry'ad
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I must have a dyad
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Or by lunchtime I'm grumpy and gruff.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            For the omelet, a separate law.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            It requires oeuf aux menage a trois.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Three eggs are the fix
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            to carry the mix
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            of the onion and cheese and crab claw.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            When Deviled, no numbers apply.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Stuff your face 'til you bloat and you cry.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Our tongues lap the filling
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            like pigs who are swilling
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            It's the last meal I'll eat 'fore I die.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ">>With his meal - tête de veau
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Suspense turned to woe
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Did he eat it? Well that's a no-brainer"<<

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            paulustrious, your wit and pun-netry is fabulous! ;-).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            i nominate this recipe limerick thread as possibly the best ever chow-thread!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3. There lives now a chowhound near Boston,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            who sometimes finds cooking exhaustin',
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Vegan and gluten-free,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Where to eat out, let's see,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            few choices, 'stead of defrostin'.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. There are times when night slumber concludes
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              with pics of what breakfast includes.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              This morn' it was oaties
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              ground straight from the groaties
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I nuked it while dancing in nude.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The appropriate word would be grueling
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                At the thought of your naked refueling
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Dancing is tricky
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hot porridge is sticky
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Take care to avoid a re-tooling.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  You're ad'_vice is noted, quite duly.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  At my age "it's a bitch" to re-tooly.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  But yet there's a way
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  to avoid the hot fray.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I eat oaties with methods quite ruly.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  When I move from nude dance floor to chair
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I handle my oaties with care.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I take caution while swilling
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  That there's no hot stuff spilling
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Thus guarding from malaise "down there".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Paulustrious: http://www.chow.com/profile/154622

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Well, I just took a look at your avatar:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I'm impressed that the flames really leap that far.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    If it's caution you urge
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I suggest that you splurge
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    On a range-hood that drafts down... really far.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    While your cautions that porridge might leave a scar
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    In those regions we hope we won't really mar
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The flambe' in your pic
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Gives concern that your d*ck
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    might suffer some heat that could REALLY char.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    (Mods... forgive me. Situational Ethics).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      'tis in the true nature of the limerick, no? ;-)).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Perfect! Lovely! FUNNY!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. Some like their eggs fried and greasy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Some in an omelette all cheesey
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Some like them boiled
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Or a souffle and broiled
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    But I prefer mine ova easy

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Fee, Figh, Fo, Fum
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I smell a pun from an Englishmun.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      "O-va, O-vum"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      just eggs and oeuf, in a Latin hum.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Good one!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. Back to Basics: an egg recipe.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Devoid of all imparts to beans, farts, or body parts,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It's squeaky clean, as you shall see:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Poached Eggs:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If you have farm-fresh eggs you should poach 'em
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It's the best way to use fresh-laid ovum.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      The whites firmly aggregate
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Due to still-firm albuminate
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Since they're really fresh, no need to coach 'em.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If those ovums have sadly sustained
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      loss of freshness (down the_grocery chain),
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      You can still make them coddle
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If stray wisps you remodel
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Use your spoon, and good shape they'll maintain.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Some vinegar helps with these older ones
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      to act in a way that inhibits runs
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It slows down the roam
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      of the albumal foam
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Just remove with a spoon when they're barely done.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      While Hollandaise may seem the classic sauce
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      with its buttery glory and yellow gloss
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      The cook may one egg pull
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      And make a mouthful
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Of exploding egg yolk. He's the boss.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Then he'll dutifully whip up the Hollandaise
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      For guests who are geared to the classic ways
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      He'll arrange the asparagus
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      and the bun Benedictus
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      While his tongue is still swirling that popped-yolk blaze.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Ode to an open-faced grilled cheese sandwich.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        ----------------------------------------------------------------

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Croque Monsieur's just a fancy French name
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        And one that I treat with disdain.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Welsh Rabbit's so so,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        And rarebit's no no.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Cheese on toast is the name I proclaim.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          To the closed face, grilled on two sides, quintessential sando.:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          The American lunchroom "grilled cheese", for sure,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Has a white bread "processed_slab" signature.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          It ain't haute cuisine:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          fried in cheap margarine
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          But it fills a food need with a deep allure.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          If you notch up the bread and the cheese
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          in an effort to snobs to appease
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          It won't be the grade
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          that the Lunch-ladies made
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          It's a matter of fond memories.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          These days when I make them at midnight
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I add mayo and pickle, but bread's still white.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I often use cheddar
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          but american is better
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          To give it that "grade school" delight.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            My favorite lunch while in grad school. Oh, to be young and not care about one's waistline.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Traditional GC is a dream.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            To me, it's comfort food supreme.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            But try it on rye,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            With bacon, well-fried,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            On the side, a tall chocolate egg cream.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. As we enter this Fourth of July
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        With BBQ's, buffets, Fish Fries,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        we can fuss with the menus
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        the dishware, the venues,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        and Aunt Bessie's famed apple pies.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        But it's 'bout more than birth of our country.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        There's the love of our own special family.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        So may joy of the feast
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        kids dashing like beasts
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Be a blessing to all yours, and thee.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        God Bless good families.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          amen, food fuser!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I second that emotion! Right on, my blue-eyed buddy!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              (i don't think there's any cuter product mascot!).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Agree--I "saw" him in the baking aisle of the grocery store the other day--a larger-than-life cardboard cutout display--and honestly, my first reaction was, "There's FoodFuser!" :) HOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            With someone like you,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            A pal that's good and true,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I'd like to leave it all behind and go and find
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            A little place out there in the west
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            And let the rest of the world go by....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Happy Fourth of July Chowfriends!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3. Got married the 4th of July,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            At a fabulous picnic, oh my!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Just two hundred buds --
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            lots of food, lots of suds!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Sev'ral cakes, and even a pie!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The guests had nary a clue,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Til our best man announced "yes, it's true."
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            "They got married today --
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            "Now let's toast and let's play!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            This picnic's 'cause they said 'I DO!' "

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Shouts of amazement ensued.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Good thing there was plenty of food!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            We drank and we sang,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Started life with a bang,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            We partied til red white & blued.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            July 4th, 1976: 33 years of fireworks.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: PattiCakes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Patti, that's just WONDERFUL - you got married on the country's bicentennial! Happy anniversary one day early. :-)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: LindaWhit

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Thanks. We even had someone dressed as Betsy Ross show up -- figures, because we live just outside Philly.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. The guy from Colombia again back in DC
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Even filled with tourists seeking all they can see
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Got to met up with Father Kitchen
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              As I thought, totally bitch'n
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Always fun to be with a guy who thinks a lot like me

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. Fourth of July leftovers, revised and revisited on the next days meal:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                There were so many leftover Brats
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                we sliced/sauted them in the pot
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Then added some beans
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                and some spices so mean
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Beanie-Wienies just lost their top spot.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Grilled corn we just stripped off the cob
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Tossed in salt and some creme fraiche, a blob.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Added peppers, drained maters
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Cooked then chilled it for later
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It pleased all but our haughtiest snob.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                But the favorite by far, truth be said
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                was the BBQ'd chicken, made spread.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                With pulsed veggies and mayo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                it was more than okay'o
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                And folks loved it when smeared on some bread.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. RE, my Grumpy's breakfasts: http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/3833...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  There was a man from Cape Cod 'n
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  he was served english muffins quite sodd'n.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Greasy pancakes the same
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  and hash browns the same
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  He expired after sausage and bacon.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Scargod

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Finding lower-fat breakfast venues is indeed a problem when traveling in the states.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I have found that when I need a dipstick
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    to measure the oil mixed with Bisquick
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I'll re-order with oatmeal
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    and send back their "big meal"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    As it makes me, quite literally, heartsick.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. Yes, Fridays get somewhat confusing:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    To plan weekend menus takes some musing.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Should I shop the loss leaders?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Or blow budget, as feeder?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    and my credit card thus over-using.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Since last week was a shoveling feast,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    this weekend things might be decreased.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I'll focus on pricing
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    but take pleasure in dicing
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    season's veggies that cost near the least.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    If frugality peaks as the goal
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    your skills rise to their greatest role
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    You'll sniff veggies for value
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    use stored items that are due
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    And bring forth some food from the soul.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. If it ever stops raining near here
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I'll go out to pick veggies so dear.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I hope all's not lost.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      T'is a terrible cost.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      To dig, plant, then lose all this year.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It was all arranged beforehand.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Dinner would be from the land.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Tomatoes so lush,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Lettuce so plush
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Instead it's off to the farm stand.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Gio

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        gio, please work in this tomato blight that i'm hearing about, please.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          This is the summer of fright
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Tomatoes besieged by blight.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Take matters in hand
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Try to garden less grand:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Spread out plants for a much cleaner site.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. When cooking d'you pass through these phases?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Like Vietnamese bouillabaises?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Strange variations
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        From far distant nations.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        That rarely attract any praises?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        In my head I have an illusion
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I can blend, meld and mix a profusion.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Of spices ( far east)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        With a beast now deceased.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I'm a master of catering fusion.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Alas my amazing confection
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Falls short of envisioned perfection.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I though I would savour
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Those textures and flavour.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Instead I must deal with rejection.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Agreed, as in: Thus Spake Zara-"fuse"thra.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          There are times when our efforts at fusion
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          can create disharmonious union.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Melding Chink and Pure Brit
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          can result in bad sh*t:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          "Five-Spice-Bangers" is just a delusion.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Paulustrious: you must have a quip
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            For a guy who so honestly snipped
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            That bangers and five-spice
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            aren't a dish you should try twice
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            lest "fusion" lose face in that slip.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Five-Spice Bangers might be 'bominations
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              But they lead to some sly machinations:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Ground meat, soy sauce, five-spice,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Grated ginger, so nice.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Five-Spice Burgers are wondrous creations.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Emmmily

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Ahhh, the gulf 'twixt the Burger and Banger.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                One's a patty, and one is a whanger.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                When infused with 5-spice
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Bun-wrapped burgers are nice
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                but in sausage induce too much languor.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: Paulustrious

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Brilliant!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3. No recipes, just a few trifles. Forgive me, I’m feeling warm and fuzzy today...(and apologies to any and all slighted posters)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ahem...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            To jfood or Sam Fujisaka
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            c oliver, Will Owen or alka (pal)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            to name just a few
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            and all the rest too,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            have you ever eaten alpaca?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Applehome and davwud might fight
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            over where they should eat of a night
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            but when it all ends
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I believe we’re all friends
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            debating this “stuff” on this site.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: cuccubear

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              amen, o great towering clawed one!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: cuccubear

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Bravo, brother! :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Thanks! That first line had been in my head for weeks, but couldn't find a rhyme with "-aka".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. An homage to the Alice Waters breakfast (as prepared for Leslie Stahl on "60 Minutes")--and made by yours truly this morning with eggs laid yesterday at our neighbor's farm:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Farm-fresh eggs, of course, were required
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                For a breakfast that Alice inspired
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Greens and herbs from the deck
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                On ciabatta--aw, heck!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Such a feast has been all I've desired!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: kattyeyes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  That was a wonderful 60 Minutes segment. Breakfast from a champion.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Leslie clearly lost all her defenses
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  when those eggs overwhelmed her five senses.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  She balked that most folks
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  would accept lesser yolks
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  based on time of prep and the expenses.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Then Leslie got yolk on her face
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  in a manner that has no disgrace.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  She chowed down that meal
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  with on-camera zeal
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  and her napkin all traces erased.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  So if Kattyeyes true has the hankerin'
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  To repeat the feast fixed by said champion
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Then go for your dreams
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  with bread herbs eggs and greens.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Just remember to wipe with your nap-i-kin.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Made it again this morning. Cheers to you, FoodFuser AND dear Alice Walters! And dig my cute little egg pan! :)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/6356...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    P.S. If there were a platinum star or blue ribbon for best of this thread, you'd be wearin' it, my brother. Keep 'em comin'! (Whatever happened to part 2?)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. When the temps stay at "Hundred and five"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Then the meals and the bev's just must jive
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  with the horrible heat
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  that's a griller's defeat:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  We just want to stay cool inside.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Long derided, there's a beauty in Jello.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  It slides down the gullet as smooth snow.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Chopped cherries and berries
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  whipped cream makes it marry.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Add walnuts, it's ready to go.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Congealed salads that filled yonder lore
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Had their purpose when temperatures soar.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The slick slurp of Jello
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Is incredibly mellow
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  It's a dish that engenders: "Please, more!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Today is another hot scorcher
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    with temps that will certainly torture
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    As the Orb starts its rise
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    in the easternmost skies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    the homonyms come: "torture"... "torcher".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    But there's no time to dally with word game
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    when Apollo will soon fully inflame
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    and last all the day
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    in an oppressive way...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    'Til heat wave breaks, more of the same.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    At this dawn of another hot day
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I arise seeking ways to allay
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    this unbearable heat
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    "One-oh-five"'s the repeat
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Of a forecast that seems here to stay.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I open the fridge, check within
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    for what juiceables lie in the bin.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I hold the door wide
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    let those cool vapors slide
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    to bathe my already warm skin.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Those cucumbers seem most delightful
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    and those 'maters just ripe and all flavorfull.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Some parsley and celery
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    to bring the right medley
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    For a day where the temps will be frightful.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    It's a day for a breakfast Gazpacho.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    In the juicer the cold veggies gotta go.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I blend 'em and send 'em
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    into veggie compendium
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    While my glass catches all of the outflow.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    While some might suggest a Sangria
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Here at dawn I'll stay alcohol free-a.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Gazpacho's the king:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Salt, Tabasco for zing,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    and electrolyte equili-bria.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      you are truly gifted! and that breakfast gazpacho sounds delicious. stay cool!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      and, fuser, please check the chow profile's link to your blog. it didn't work for me. (i didn't realize you had a blog). i hope you put all of your limericks on there. you're just fab! ;-).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: alkapal

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Agree - Fuser is the champion Limericker! Amazing at how easy they seem to flow from the fingers - at 7am, no less!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: LindaWhit

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Thanks, folks. It's a way to focus and discharge the frustration of this hot weather, hopefully in a positive way.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          a'pal: the "blog address" is simply a clumsy attempt to give my email address in a way that it is not harvested by those rascally net-bots that collect, collate, then send spam. Give it a decipher and a try.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. Recipe for hiding from heatstroke on day six of hell:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Well, the water's lukewarm in the kitchen.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Proves I ain't been just randomly bitchin'.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Even pipes underground
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    this damn heatwave has found
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    My clean skin has even started itchin'.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Today is the day of defense
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    lest we call the heatstroke ambulance.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I've made ice in the freezer
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    (I'm a prep-ahead geezer)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    and just showered for first cooling rinse.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Late last night I harvested mint
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    in prep for today's cool event.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    We're defying all protocal
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    and serving up alcohol
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    With the A/C cranked up just a hint.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    There'll be ice placed in front of fans blowing.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    And mint juleps will slowly be flowing.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The cool air from the fans
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    won't ruffle the hands
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    of the cards as we get a game going.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    At 5 cents a point, it's gin rummy.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I've made snacks to support any tummy.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    One friend's bringing whiskey
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    though we know it's quite risky
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    We'll sip juleps on ice, 'cuz they're yummy.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The only bad thing I foresee
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    as it climbs past one hundred and three
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    is the cards might get moist
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    as our juleps we hoist
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    in our ice-cooled debaucherous spree.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    So for heatstroke we have the defense:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    drink iced juleps, within common sense.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    If my friends start to sip
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    'til their judgement may slip
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I'll be rich, at each point worth five cents.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      well, y'all can sleep off the booze through the hottest part of the day ;-O.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Find a publisher for food poetry! Too bad Shel Silverstein is dead, he'd have been a great illustrator.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Passadumkeg

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Yes, but Maurice Sendak still survives. Talk about two guys who are "Wild Things".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: FoodFuser

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Gary Larsen's big come back! Perfect.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. It seems like this thread has run its course and has increasingly little to do with food, even tangentially. We're going to lock it now.