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Apr 9, 2009 06:13 AM

25 Things Chefs Hate About You

This made me cackle this morning, because it reads like a greatest-hits compilation of contentious threads on the "Not About Food" board:

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  1. Do people ask for their soup to be split four ways? Holy crap! And the half medium rare-half well done steak is interesting, which planet are they from?

    6 Replies
    1. re: Phaedrus

      Personally I've had to split a burger four ways for tables several times, a chicken three ways for a table, and more often than you would think, I have had split requests (burgers, steaks, seafood) with different temps for each half of the split. I've never had to split a soup by more than just two portions.

      1. re: ktb615

        That is just bizarre. Phaedrus's callouts were what stuck out to me as well - the steak split temps is strange, but the soup 4 ways is even stranger. I wouldn't dream of doing either.

        1. re: LindaWhit

          RE: the soup.

          If someone and hie/her three friends are THAT cheep don't eat out...but otherwise the idea is very funny.

          1. re: Withnail42

            faced with that request, i'd ceremoniously serve the soup myself----

            i'd put on a clean jacket and put *one* bowl of soup on a cloth napkin-draped coffee tray (the smallest size round one). i'd put the bowl of soup down in the center of the table. then, with a flourish, i'd pull out 4 straws!

            i'd curtsy slightly, murmur "bon appetit". . . and hopefully make it past the kitchen door before ROTFL ;-)

            1. re: soupkitten

              I love this, because all I could think when I read that was, have they never thought of using two spoons?

              I'm the type of person who eats soup, gets full, and than two bites of my entree. However, I enjoy a good soup and why skip it if I like it? That's what my little foil swan is for -- the rest of my dinner!

              I would never ask for a smaller portion than offered of soup! I'll often pass it over to someone at my table after eating that such a social faux pas?

      2. re: Phaedrus

        Jfood thinks the steak comment should go both ways. He was once told at Abe & Louie's in Boston that the only steak that the chef on duty that night could cook medium rare all the way was the boneless sirloin.

      3. I was management in the food industry for over 20 years, none of it surprises me.
        I got to the point of praying nightly that bufoons and cheapskates would just stay home, where they belong. Really, if you can't afford to be gracious and tip, PLEASE stay home.
        I had to explain hundreds of times that if we paid the servers more money (so the customers didn't have to tip), then we'd have to pass that on by raising menu and drink prices, and in so doing, the servers would have no reason to do their best job. Thankfully, most people got it.

        1 Reply
        1. re: bayoucook

          i've worked in fine dining many years, mostly in chef-owned restaurants. none of them really cared what the servers or bartenders were tipped. in fact, most of them truly thought the FOH staff made *too much* money anyway.

          there was also an unwritten rule that guests were never to be questioned about the gratuity, unless it was absurdly high.

        2. That's a rather odd list. As a Chef I could care less if you snap or whistle at your servers. In fact at select times I might encourage it! (hehehehe)
          I thought I'd seen just about every split imaginable and I've spent a fair amount of time in steak houses. I've never seen a split temp request. There isn't a lot I say NO to but that would be one.
          Bringing your own food is a biggie. I've had to bounce people for ordering pizza delivery in the bar.
          I've had to deal with some sports celebs that were a major PITA. BB players are the worst. One very famous one could not keep his hands off my girls. And then there was the day I dealt with a 6'6" football player with roid rage yelling loud enough to wake all 225 rooms at 6 am. Lets just say after that my guys never found a B'fast request for alfredo, tenderloin and eggs unusual.
          But there is always the fun stuff as well like room service to The Playmate of the year. (Grin)

          6 Replies
              1. re: Fritter

                :-) I had to Google it, but good man, Fritter, for that response. TPTB could very well have removed any other response. :-)

                1. re: LindaWhit

                  Latin translated =

                  I'm a married spud
                  I'm a married spud
                  I'm a married spud


                  1. re: Fritter

                    ::::Snort:::: You've learned much, grasshoppah. ;-)

                2. re: Fritter

                  OK, that just fired up my imagination.

            1. ha! omg i think i may have been part of that discussion, or maybe it was after the fact. no-brainers all, and it's amazing how far a little civility and kindness on the part of the customer can go towards getting them into the good graces of their fave restaurant. which is a nice place to be, cuz you get to try the new cookies before anybody else does, for free, and stuff.

              1. although it's rude, I don't disagree with leaving if you sit down and realize you're not going to enjoy the place.

                One timing blows, but I do not think people ever do it purposefully. And if I have to ask for more water, I think the server sort of deserves it.

                I think tipping on free food is a big one, and always deserves mention, since some people take it for granted so easily.

                1 Reply
                1. re: Icantread

                  I know a police captain, who often gets his lunches comped by the restaurants in his district. Since that is considered a bribe, he usually tips what his meal was worth, or what he estimate its worth and ends up reporting it. I don't know if the waiter gets the tip or not but thats a pretty hefty tip.