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I thinks it's really annoying when....

NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 09:54 AM

Hi there

I'm pretty new to CH - but I've been easily hooked. I have a job which allows me to surf the net or read as much as I want (I'm a receptionist). The bosses actually encourage it.

Anyhow, maybe this has been brought up a million times, but I really find it rude when someone asks a question here on the board, gets loads of responses and then never comes back to thank anyone or update anyone or whatever...
I have seen this numerous time when people have really been very helpful to the OP, and then nothin'!

what's up with that?

Is this considered OK here on CH?

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  1. b
    bnemes3343 RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 10:02 AM

    I don't iknow if I find it quite as annoying as you but, yeah, it does seem a bit wierd when people get tons of recs, as an example, for good eats in X city and then never come back with what they actually tried.

    1. f
      fourunder RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 10:03 AM

      How about this post? ;-)


      5 Replies
      1. re: fourunder
        NellyNel RE: fourunder Feb 10, 2009 10:36 AM

        Forunder LOL!!
        You got me!

        I forgot about that!!!

        That was when I was at my last job and I wasn't allowed to look at the internet- but used to sneak a peek now and then!!

        Wow busted!


        1. re: NellyNel
          fourunder RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 10:45 AM


          Payback for calling me....crazy. ;-)

          Thanks for having a sense of humor.

          1. re: fourunder
            NellyNel RE: fourunder Feb 10, 2009 11:58 AM

            "and it's one of the few regrets I have in my food life"
            ha ha ha... you're a lucky one, I have many food regrets in my life.....oh well steak stuffed with sausage sounds so darn good right now..I bet the whole meal you just wanted to lean over and take some off the guys plate!

            We actually had a booking at Rita & Joes for Christmas eve which I was really looking forward to, but our friends had to change the plans last minute....
            so I guess it's a little late - but thanks for your recommendations!! I do appreciate 'em and will definitely try 'em out!

            Back to topic -
            So do you guys think that there is some CH "plants"??
            it does seem odd when someone goes through the trouble of writing such a detailed question - and then just disappears!

            1. re: NellyNel
              HillJ RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 12:22 PM

              CH's have long term memory! Never forget!
              Thanks for the link to Jersey finds I didn't know about.

              1. re: HillJ
                NellyNel RE: HillJ Feb 10, 2009 12:32 PM

                it was even funnier because fourunder and I recently had conflicting opinions about something and I called his idea (not him!!) CRAZY!

                So he got me back!

        2. y
          yankeefan RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 10:04 AM

          Guilty as charged. Sometimes you get caught up reading through and don't even realize it. I did find this annoying when I first joined and then did it myself so be careful.

          I am good at replying to the ones about certain restaurants but not the home cooking ones when I ask for ideas. sorry.

          1. c
            Cathy RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 10:14 AM

            More annoying when it is a first time(and eventually, only time) poster who asks a huge general question and people continue to discuss...years later. Makes me think it was a 'plant' just to have something going on.


            1 Reply
            1. re: Cathy
              BobB RE: Cathy Feb 10, 2009 11:34 AM

              Or this one in Boston - a first-time poster who stirred up lots of interest, got us all wishing him well in his romantic dinner plans, and stayed in the discussion right up to the dinner in question - then never returned. Sigh...


            2. n
              nkeane RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 10:26 AM

              A sign of the times, I guess. To come back and post about what you tried is the online equivelant of a thank you card. Seen many of those lately? I think being considerate must be like, sooo 1987!!

              1. h
                HillJ RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 12:25 PM

                When I go back and thank CH's or seen other CH's take the time, I'll soon after see a thread about "why is it important to thank"....so, do what you feel comfortable posting and acknowledging contributions... and the Mods will take care of the rest.

                1. cuccubear RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 12:45 PM

                  I’ve noticed that too NellyNel. It’s easy to keep up when you’ve only started a few threads. But maybe, after awhile, the OP loses interest in their topics or they are no longer timely or they fall too far back on their My Posts queue.

                  Then again, it’s not uncommon for a thread to become derailed and by the time the OP checks back, no one is talking to his/her point.

                  5 Replies
                  1. re: cuccubear
                    NellyNel RE: cuccubear Feb 10, 2009 12:47 PM

                    "Then again, it’s not uncommon for a thread to become derailed and by the time the OP checks back, no one is talking to his/her point."

                    Yes, that's true!!...I notcied that - sometimes the thread gets WAY off topic!

                    1. re: NellyNel
                      cuccubear RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 12:58 PM

                      _What's the deal with Jell-O, isn't it weird?_


                      1. re: cuccubear
                        BobB RE: cuccubear Feb 10, 2009 01:02 PM

                        Yeah, it starts out a powder, then you make it a liquid, and then it gets solid, only solid that's sort of a liquid, and if it gets too warm it's all liquid again, and what's with those COLORS???


                        1. re: BobB
                          NellyNel RE: BobB Feb 10, 2009 01:08 PM

                          LOL - it took me a minute!

                          1. re: NellyNel
                            cuccubear RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 02:30 PM

                            Ha! Just having a little illustrative fun!

                  2. h
                    HillJ RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 03:28 PM

                    You guys/gals are a riot! Thanks for the giggles!

                    1. Servorg RE: NellyNel Feb 10, 2009 03:46 PM

                      Worst case scenario: They never return

                      2nd Worst case scenario: They return and post this - "We went to restaurant X" (not one suggested in a 100 post long thread) "and had a terrible dinner" - with nothing further in the way of information

                      1. g
                        Gigi007 RE: NellyNel Sep 19, 2009 06:34 AM

                        My question is similar to the OP's. I sometimes wonder how people post on CH, get suggestions, and never say thanks to anyone. I feel like it's the minimum someone can do.

                        Lately, I've also seen hounds scolding those who get a ton of suggestions from others and fail to post a report. One recent incident involved a guy who asked for a bunch of recs, got them, said thanks, and went on his merry way. A week or two later he resurfaced on another thread giving some advice to someone about some of the places he visited. Another hound quickly called him out for not posting a report. I could kind of see her point although posting reports seems like it should be voluntary and not obligatory. My pet peeve is more about the lack of acknowledgement and thanking on the part of some participants who benefit from others' suggestions. What do you think?

                        13 Replies
                        1. re: Gigi007
                          HillJ RE: Gigi007 Sep 19, 2009 06:53 AM

                          I think it's impossible to address every pet peeve and have every chowish need met if we communicate this generally and not to the individual we'd like to address specifically.

                          Flexibility on the other hand is a wonderful and all inclusive way to give ourselves and each other a break and perhaps, just perhaps a more enjoyable chow experience here.

                          We all have pet peeves but at the end of each post is the collective wisdom of great chowish knowledge & experience...and that's all that matters. Right?

                          1. re: HillJ
                            Gigi007 RE: HillJ Sep 19, 2009 10:07 AM

                            HillJ, I have the impression that you didn't get my point or that you are addressing another issue.Your comments imply that I (and perhaps others such as the OP) are inflexible because we think it's rude that people don't acknowledge and thank others for their time and effort re: thoughtful recommendations in response to their requests for information. I don't think that's the case at all, and frankly the tone of your post comes off as rather condescending.

                            With all due respect, my question isn't about pet peeves per se as much as basic consideration and manners. Therefore insofar as I understand what you're saying in your last paragraph, I wouldn't say I agree with it vis a vis the specific point I (and the OP) raised.

                            1. re: Gigi007
                              HillJ RE: Gigi007 Sep 19, 2009 11:39 AM

                              Gigi007, thank you for your reply.

                              No that was not my intent or tone. Funny, the word tone when there is no volume button on community boards (wink) :)

                              I've tried thanking a fellow CH & appreciate a thank you when its offered. I was focused on your words "pet peeve" perhaps more than you intended. But I do not condescend to anyone. Since the enjoyment of these boards becomes the total contribution given by every poster and not individual conversations, I referred to that idea as collective wisdom.

                              But I agree completely that a thank you is appreciated.

                              1. re: HillJ
                                Gigi007 RE: HillJ Sep 19, 2009 12:08 PM

                                HillJ, I've conveyed how your comments were received, and to me the tone of your post (specifically, "Flexibility on the other hand is a wonderful and all inclusive way to give ourselves and each other a break...") does send the message that you believe that by expecting thanks or acknowledgement, a person is inflexible. And to me the choice of words absolutely reflects a condescending tone even if that wasn't your intention. Your response to my original comment gave the impression that it is not OK to expect thanks or acknoweldgement when you provide recommendations or information and that the problem is with the person who expects such thanks/acknowledgement rather than the lack of any form of expression of thanks/acknowledgement. Again, perhaps that wasn't your intention, but that is how it comes across.

                                P.S. Re: "collective wisdom", that's a different subject, and not what I was addressing in my original post.

                                I now see that you have just modified/added new comments. I am glad that you recognze the value of thanking and acknowledgements.

                                1. re: Gigi007
                                  HillJ RE: Gigi007 Sep 19, 2009 12:12 PM

                                  Gigi007, I can only reply that was not my intent. Flexibility goes two ways. My mistake was in attaching my reply to your post instead of letting it fall to the bottom. Have a great Saturday!

                          2. re: Gigi007
                            Veggo RE: Gigi007 Sep 19, 2009 07:03 AM

                            The mods dismiss and discourage profuse thank you's as noise, but we are human, and acknowledgement for spending one's time and sometimes doing research for the benefit of a stranger is simply the right thing to do. The mods need to accept this, or the good contributors will ride off into the sunset.

                            1. re: Veggo
                              Jacquilynne RE: Veggo Sep 19, 2009 07:09 AM

                              To be fair, we don't object to someone posting a general thank you to their thread -- or even a couple of specific thank yous to people who've really hit the mark. And we especially do encourage people to report back as the best possible thank you.

                              But people who go through threads and thank every single person for every single suggestion are adding noise, as well as repeatedly bumping their thread back up to the top of the boards and bumping another thread that might have had actual information added further down.

                              So, it's not that we have a "No Thanks" rule -- it's just that we ask people to be reasonable and considerate in how they go about thanking people.

                              -- Jacquilynne, Community Manager for Chowhound

                              1. re: Jacquilynne
                                Veggo RE: Jacquilynne Sep 19, 2009 07:54 AM

                                Thank you :)

                                1. re: Veggo
                                  Scargod RE: Veggo Sep 19, 2009 01:01 PM

                                  I agree! You da man! Just what I was gonna say...

                                  1. re: Veggo
                                    Delucacheesemonger RE: Veggo Sep 19, 2009 01:45 PM

                                    Thank You for often making me laugh.

                                  2. re: Jacquilynne
                                    Gigi007 RE: Jacquilynne Sep 19, 2009 10:03 AM

                                    That's good to know. I can understand that it's also possible to overdo it when thanking. Still, I'd rather thank too much than not at all. It's the lack of acknowledgement (which as Jaquilynne says could even come in the form of a report) that appears to be rude and inconsiderate--at least to me and apparently to a few others on this board as well.

                                    1. re: Gigi007
                                      limster RE: Gigi007 Sep 19, 2009 02:36 PM

                                      On one hand, I respond because it's an opportunity to share tips and keep them in circulation and updated. No "thank yous" required.

                                      On the other hand, it would be preferable if folks give back as much as they have received -- i.e. if you get a tip, report back. In many ways, a generic "thank you" seems less than that, and worse, they do add noise to the discussion.

                                      1. re: limster
                                        Gigi007 RE: limster Sep 19, 2009 02:43 PM

                                        I see your point, limster. It would seem that as Jacquilynne noted, a report back may serve as the best possible "thank you". And as you said, it really is a question of contribution (giving back). It also takes very little effort to say thanks when others have taken the time to help with recommendations; if the thanking is done sparingly, it usually doesn't disturb the flow of the threads. One thing I try to remember to thank people in advance for their help and suggestions when I post a question.

                              2. Scargod RE: NellyNel Sep 19, 2009 01:24 PM

                                This may be too on-topic. I seriously dislike seeing someone starting thread after thread asking one thing after another as if we are their concierge and they can't search. There are some who do virtually nothing but ask dumb questions, whether they start a thread or reply to one. Their contribution rate or feedback rate is like 1 in 20. So I'm irked when people keep helping/enabling them. Don't they see what they are doing and why don't they express their displeasure? Then, If you do, you may get deleted. We need an annoyed button, or as we had at work, a "ludicrous" stamp.

                                38 Replies
                                1. re: Scargod
                                  Gigi007 RE: Scargod Sep 19, 2009 01:35 PM

                                  LOL, Scargod. I agree. I now see the situation I described earlier (a hound calling out a poster for not reporting back on suggestions) in a different light. Acting assertively in addressing people who constantly ask questions and don't contribute or report back on recs and suggestions from others seems to be the way to go. As for enabling repeat non-searchers, when I think someone hasn't attempted a search or the thread topic is "Need recommendations" or "Where Should I go?", I ignore the thread and move on to someone who appears to have made some effort.

                                  1. re: Scargod
                                    Servorg RE: Scargod Sep 19, 2009 01:36 PM

                                    Until someone on this site showed me lmgtfy I felt the same exact way. And while I still feel that way sometimes this has made it a whole lot better when I can use it to a. impart the information being requested and b. send a (hopefully) not so subtle message about taking some inititive for ones "wonderings."


                                    1. re: Servorg
                                      Chris VR RE: Servorg Sep 19, 2009 01:52 PM

                                      That's obnoxious, IMO. If you don't like the request, ignore it. If you want to help people see the advantage of a search, point to a CHOW URL with search results on that topic (not everyone knows how to use search as well as longtime site users). But telling someone, usually a newbie, to go Google their question , whether in those words or via a link to http://lmgtfy.com/... well that's downright unfriendly. If the goal is to make newbies feel like we're a big unwelcoming clique that's not willing to help, well, that would do it.

                                      1. re: Chris VR
                                        Servorg RE: Chris VR Sep 19, 2009 02:33 PM

                                        Never, ever use it on newbies. Only with hounds who have been around and posted on the boards a lot. And they get the answer that they requested and a lesson in searching. That is pretty much of a win-win in my book.

                                        1. re: Servorg
                                          Chris VR RE: Servorg Sep 19, 2009 04:06 PM

                                          Well, cool, but it concerns me that other people would take your lead with less discretion.

                                          1. re: Chris VR
                                            Servorg RE: Chris VR Sep 19, 2009 04:38 PM

                                            "...but it concerns me that other people would take your lead with less discretion."

                                            That's exactly the idea, except my hope is for the experienced hounds who are guilty of being lazy about these questions that they put up, to rather take the lead in posting information that they are interested in seeing, (and thereby teaching the newbies about board etiquette by going out, collecting links to a restaurants website or menu, or a previous thread that is on point, or what have you) and then posting that to the thread under development.

                                            1. re: Servorg
                                              Chris VR RE: Servorg Sep 19, 2009 05:42 PM

                                              Well that would surely be ideal, but what I'd think is just as likely is other hounds will take your lead and also start telling other posters, including newbies, to Google.

                                              Frankly we really can't control how other people post, so I'm always surprised to see these types of threads about how people would like other people to post. I say, put good stuff out there and hope that sets an example for others. The better quality we contribute, the more likely others will follow our lead.

                                              But it goes both ways. The more crap we contribute, unfortunately, the more likely others will follow our lead. If we want to see quality posts, it seems to me that it's best to refrain from posts that may be perceived as rude, including posts that take people to task for not doing homework before posting. Or long chatty digressions about things that really have nothing to do with chow but are fun and entertaining to us. That stuff is has much more of a negative impact on the content quality than people who post "where should I go for dinner in Boston", IMO. If we all decided to post about our childhood memories, silly jokes and whatever else is on our mind at the moment, this site would be impossible to use. Luckily it seems that behavior is not indulged in by the majority of posters here.

                                              1. re: Chris VR
                                                Servorg RE: Chris VR Sep 19, 2009 05:57 PM

                                                And just to draw the distinction, which is considerable, this isn't telling anyone "to Google" per se. It actually gives the questioner the exact information they asked for. It simply reminds them that for someone, anyone to find what they have asked for, Google was (and will need to be consulted again the next time) used to find that information.

                                                1. re: Servorg
                                                  Chris VR RE: Servorg Sep 19, 2009 06:00 PM

                                                  Maybe we're discussing two different things- I'm referring to your post where you say you link people to http://lmgtfy.com/. That's the same as telling someone to Google, with no results that actually give any answers. Even linking people to a results URL, such as http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Why+should+peopl... doesn't really give them an answer, it just proves that you know Google exists and you think they don't.

                                                  1. re: Chris VR
                                                    Servorg RE: Chris VR Sep 19, 2009 07:38 PM

                                                    No, no. When I send someone a link to lmgtfy it not only takes them to that site, it literally Googles and presents the answer to them. Sort of a virtual "deus ex machina" as it were. For instance, here is a real world example from the LA board.


                                                    1. re: Servorg
                                                      Chris VR RE: Servorg Sep 20, 2009 04:51 AM

                                                      As I said above, it just proves that you know Google exists and you think they don't. And the response to that post, calling you a wiseass, sort of proves my point. The action of using that URL comes off as you being snarky.

                                                      Even worse, it doesn't feed the resource. Every one of the thousands of lurkers reading along is going to have to sit through that dopey animation to get the answer to that question. If the goal is to create a more useful resource on Chowhound, that goal hasn't been achieved in this case.

                                                      But hey, as I said, none of us can control how other people post, and there's not much use expecting other people to post the way we'd like! If it makes you feel better to use one of those links, go for it, but if I see one in a discussion I'm participating in, I'll take the extra effort to add the actual info requested.

                                                      1. re: Servorg
                                                        Jacquilynne RE: Servorg Sep 20, 2009 05:54 AM

                                                        Please don't do that. It's not a friendly way to share information.

                                                        -- Jacquilynne, Community Manager for Chowhound

                                                        1. re: Jacquilynne
                                                          Scargod RE: Jacquilynne Sep 20, 2009 08:49 AM

                                                          In the example Servorg gave it would have been more Chowhound sensitive had <hidden "santa monica" chowhound> been used. This would have referenced other Chowhound posts first and foremost. It did immediately give the address and phone number that Phurstluv was wanting.
                                                          To use Chowhound's "link to a place" there has to be a place that exists and is properly described and spelled. That can be a trap. If it exists (and is entered properly), you have to duplicate the spelling and know the location. Otherwise it is worthless.

                                                          My first knee-jerk reaction to your request was "she doesn't want people leaving Chowhound for information". By following a Google link one might end up wandering off to Yelp instead of staying on Chowhound.
                                                          I don't see what's unfriendly about providing the link. Because it says "Was that so hard?"? It IS instructional for those that don't know Google.
                                                          If people learn how to search here (and on Google, when Chowhound's search feature fails us), then we have more time to 'Hound!
                                                          PS: I tried to link Hidden Restaurant using link to a place. It showed up but it didn't take.

                                                          1. re: Scargod
                                                            Jacquilynne RE: Scargod Sep 20, 2009 09:10 AM

                                                            I wouldn't object to someone posting a link to the website of the restaurant to send people there for information. Even a link to the Google search results would have been fine, as long as the correct information was clear and obvious in the search results. But lmgtfy.com is deliberately designed to be a slap to the person you send the link to, implying they're too lazy or stupid to have googled something themselves. That's not okay.

                                                2. re: Servorg
                                                  MMRuth RE: Servorg Sep 19, 2009 05:54 PM

                                                  "except my hope is for the experienced hounds who are guilty of being lazy about these questions that they put up, to rather take the lead in posting information that they are interested in seeing,"

                                                  You know, there are times when I'm sure I could get information by googling, but I'm interested in getting responses from other 'hounds, not the "world wide web" as a whole. Now, I don't post to ask about the phone number or hours of a place because, well, I can find those things out without cluttering up my regional board. However, I do sometimes pose questions on the Home Cooking or General Topics board for which I surely could get a quick answer from google. To my mind, these boards are for us to discuss and share information with one another, and also to create a useful resource within our Chowhound community. Also, such posts often lead to other chowish and interesting on-topic discussions in ways that I might not have even imagined. I'd rather see discussions about food issues on Chowhound even if they relate to queries that could quickly be answered by googling, than to wade through lots of insiderish chat that really doesn't add much to anyone eating any better.

                                                  1. re: MMRuth
                                                    Chris VR RE: MMRuth Sep 19, 2009 06:01 PM

                                                    Really good point. If everyone just Googled, got their answers and went on their merry way, we wouldn't have much of a discussion site.

                                                    1. re: MMRuth
                                                      Servorg RE: MMRuth Sep 19, 2009 07:45 PM

                                                      And I (and the other hounds who use it on the LA board) would never use it in a case like the one you set up here, Ruth. In the situation you are discussing I would most probably preface my question by quickly outlining what I knew on the subject of my post/question (whether gleaned from Google or out of some other resource) as part of the post in order not to waste peoples time telling me what I already knew.

                                                      We are using it in response where someone wants to know the address or phone of a restaurant that is readily available on the net. I mean, even for the places I go to regularly I hardly ever know the actual street address or phone number. I (or someone) is going to have to search for it, probably on Google 99% of the time.

                                                      1. re: Servorg
                                                        Lizard RE: Servorg Sep 20, 2009 04:34 AM

                                                        I'd like to support Servorg in the lmgtfy camp. The point is not to diminish the value of chowhound, but in some ways to indicate where the value actually lies.

                                                        'What's veal piccata?' is a question that is best for google, as people find the specifics of the recipe and can even begin to learn (through the magic of wikipedia) a brief history.

                                                        The question for chowhound involves noting differences in recipes and investigating the basis/legitimacy/chowworthiness of the distinctions or discussing different origin stories, or assessing the legitimacy of the wiki info, etc.

                                                        The second question recognises the value that MMRuth articulated: as a discussion board about these topics, and where people can engage in such discussions.

                                                        This may seem like a picky difference, but one indicates that the OP wants the hounds to do the research for them, and the other suggests a place of further enquiry, of building on the basics for a genuine exploration.

                                                        It is, perhaps, about signalling a readiness to give as much as to take. This is part of engaging with a community.

                                                        1. re: Lizard
                                                          Gigi007 RE: Lizard Sep 20, 2009 04:45 AM

                                                          You hit the nail on the head, Lizard. My impression (as a relatively new hound) is that ideally there should be a give and take. I also tend to think that there is a lot of curiousity here about experiences. I'm definitely here to learn from others (and am often in awe of some people's knowledge and insights), but also actively look for topics where I can make a contribution.

                                                          1. re: Lizard
                                                            Chris VR RE: Lizard Sep 20, 2009 04:59 AM

                                                            As MMR Ruth said, I'd expect a discussion of "What's veal piccata?" to then evolve into a discussion noting differences in recipes and investigating the basis/legitimacy/chowworthiness of the distinctions or discussing different origin stories, or assessing the legitimacy of the wiki info, etc.

                                                            However, if someone just Googles that question (especially if they are doing it because they are too intimidated to ask it here because of "lmgtfy" answers), the chances that they are then going to start a new discussion asking the more interesting aspects of that discussion are greatly reduced. And if they don't start the discussion, what are the odds someone else will? Now we've lost what may be an engaging topic.

                                                            You read such a question as an OP expecting hounds to do research for them. I read such a question as an OP expecting to engage hounds on a broader discussion of the topic. Different world views, I guess.

                                                            Personally I'd rather people start discussions any way they can. If the question bores me, I can ignore it. If someone less bored than I is intrigued enough to answer, perhaps the discussion will later move to something I'd like to participate in. If the OP gets no answer, the lack of feedback may encourage him/her to postulate a more engaging question next time.

                                                            1. re: Lizard
                                                              rworange RE: Lizard Sep 21, 2009 09:52 AM

                                                              >>> 'What's veal piccata?' is a question that is best for google, as people find the specifics of the recipe and can even begin to learn (through the magic of wikipedia) a brief history.

                                                              God no. !!! ... !!!

                                                              At least don't tell someone to Google ... and be careful if you provide Google results to make it absolutely clear this is trying to be a help and not a not so subtle suggestion to Google first next time.

                                                              A few years ago someone asked how to pronouce cassoulet and may have been told to google or given a list of google results. That post was deleted and Jim Leff responded.

                                                              "Trish, one of the purposes of Chowhound is to provide a non-snobbish place where we can fill in each other's gaps of knowledge. I have LOTS of gaps, myself, and revel in having a place where I can ask "dumb" questions without drawing snobby derision.

                                                              So I'm incredibly embarrassed by the reception you received (which has been deleted). Please accept my apologies. Speaking to you and all reading along: please don't EVER hesitate to ask naive questions on Chowhound. If you happen to draw condescending, bristling replies, just ignore them. For the most part we're not like that here.

                                                              Again, I'm awfully sorry. We strive to be the sort of site where anyone can ask anything without getting slammed. But every once in a while, the moon goes into a certain phase and some ordinarily friendly posters turn imperious and feel compelled to dictate how others ought to post. Ugh."

                                                              That deleted post was mine. And while IIRC, it was probably a helpful Google link, Jim read me absolutely right. This was the gazillionth post (it seemed) by this person asking similar questions and I guess some annoyance slipped in.

                                                              However, separated by the years and passion at the time, when I read the OP I'm truly sorry I made someone uncomfortable ... despite the fact she responded to the google link ... well... she didn't like it one bit and said so. pretty emphatically.

                                                              I guess what makes me sorry is her statement in the OP "now that i know i wont be laughed at for asking questions, here goes another"

                                                              Yikes. How many other newbies did I discourage by my answer before it was deleted . Did she ever post again? After a while she probably would have gotten into the site flow and who knows the great stuff she would have posted.

                                                              I guess the point is that when we think anything is really annoying ... move on. No need to respond. If something posted online by a stranger is that annoying, maybe take a break from the site. It is supposed to be enjoyable to you and taking anything that seriously ... give yourself a time out.

                                                              As to addresses ... give them or just don't answer and move on. As the reply to the link indicated, people aren't dumb and recognize snarkiness. Maybe this was just back and forth ribbing by regulars ... but someone new might not interpret it that way reading those responses. Probably the only educating that should be done on the site is cluing people in to the best thing to eat and not how to use the internet which is ... well ... off topic, eh?

                                                              1. re: rworange
                                                                HillJ RE: rworange Sep 21, 2009 10:16 AM

                                                                rworange, I have so much respect for you! Thank you for sharing this first hand experience.

                                                          2. re: MMRuth
                                                            Scargod RE: MMRuth Sep 20, 2009 05:09 AM

                                                            Ideally, it might be better to not have either (and include repetitive, insipid questions).
                                                            I am glad you brought up the distinction of boards. For the topical and site specific boards it's a whole nuther animal. I would like to see the regional boards about food related places to stay more focused. There are reasons the mods are stricter in one area and less in others.
                                                            Regarding Googling versus Hounding, I think there is merit in asking and getting responses here from people you trust, versus having to sift through too much information on the world-wide web. I just don't like threads started when the person forgot to turn on their brain and has searched neither before asking.
                                                            I know you can get very personalized (concierge-like), assistance by asking your questions here. Still, why do people seem bound to ask the same question with a minute, nuanced spin?
                                                            EX: "I'm coming to NYC . Where is dim sum best and least crowded on a Thursday?" Or, "How do you make fried eggs in a wok?" To me, many of these are supercillious and self-important posts just to see themselves on here with someone answering them. Worse than a little chattiness within a real thread.

                                                    2. re: Chris VR
                                                      Scargod RE: Chris VR Sep 19, 2009 04:18 PM

                                                      I'm not talking about newbies either.
                                                      This is to respond to your post below: I think my "serious dislike" doesn't "torque me off", like I want to go postal.
                                                      I guess I'm trying to conserve and not take up bandwidth. I don't want to contribute to a frivolous request (I know.... YMMV) and muddy the water of good and serious comments. Who wants a bunch of weak info to wade through when doing a search?
                                                      Why, unless information available is old, do you need to ask the same question over and over? A twist of, "I want the place to be clean" doesn't do it for me.
                                                      I certainly don't give my all if I perceive that a requester hasn't done any research and the questions too general or vague. I mean, how often have you had to ask, "what do you like?" "What's your price range?". etc? I am annoyed when a request is not well thought out and poorly formed. I have still helped people regardless.
                                                      I would like to see the content quality stay high. I just hope others will consider the long-term results of what we do here.

                                                  2. re: Scargod
                                                    Chris VR RE: Scargod Sep 19, 2009 01:48 PM

                                                    See, I have no issue with this at all. If it stimulates discussion, then what's the harm? The answers help much more than that one poster, they help every lurker or person who Googles for that topic.

                                                    I fully understand that on a personal level you wouldn't want to respond, but I don't see why it torques you off that others do, or why you'd want to let other people know you're personally annoyed by a topic. That's really your concern, not mine or anyone else who reads and participates in a thread you don't enjoy.

                                                    1. re: Scargod
                                                      The Dairy Queen RE: Scargod Sep 20, 2009 06:24 AM

                                                      I see some people do this, and, while I agree it can be annoying, I think they are people who are eager to participate, but, aren't confident enough to share their own tips. For some, it's easier and less intimidating to post a question, than an answer. I think with a little gentle encouragement to come out of their shells and post at least their own feedback on the tips they've been given, over time they can turn into pretty good, tip-sharing hounds.


                                                      1. re: The Dairy Queen
                                                        janmanzer411 RE: The Dairy Queen Sep 21, 2009 01:54 AM

                                                        Yes, I do agree.
                                                        I myself is a new face. It's somewhat hard to share a cent or two than post a question.

                                                        Best Regards,
                                                        Jan Manzer

                                                        1. re: janmanzer411
                                                          grayelf RE: janmanzer411 Oct 7, 2009 10:09 AM

                                                          I like the posts where someone says "So where did you go?" -- not too confrontational, just interested, and since that will make the thread reappear in the OP's MyChow, potentially quite helpful if they simply forgot to report back.

                                                          Folding a thank you into a report back seems to be the optimal way to give credit, but really only works well if you are a conscientious writing 'Hound and do it fairly soon after the fact.

                                                          Since I tend to get a fair amount out of most posts that are asking for information on the boards I frequent, I don't get too "torqued" (love that expression) about lack of thanks/reports back. And any genuine request for clarification/help on pronunciation or similar is likely to net me some tidbits I didn't know so I can live with those too. If a post really riles me up for a reason that passes my own personal sniff test, I report it, like the time someone got all up in my face for using colons (the punctuation mark, not the body part) in my post titles -- how is that helping to add to the info here, I asked, and the mods answered by removing the whole thread.

                                                          1. re: grayelf
                                                            NellyNel RE: grayelf Oct 7, 2009 10:29 AM

                                                            Sorry - was someone correcting your use of the colons??
                                                            Why would anyone have anything to say about that?

                                                            1. re: NellyNel
                                                              Servorg RE: NellyNel Oct 7, 2009 10:31 AM

                                                              The "Grammar Police" are out there just waiting to pounce! If they do just use the "report" button and the mod's will remove it. After all, CH is a "Spell Free/Grammar Free" Zone...

                                                              1. re: Servorg
                                                                Cathy RE: Servorg Oct 7, 2009 11:11 AM

                                                                I had someone tell me they did not want to try a place because they saw misspellings on the website menu.

                                                                The people who own it/run it are not from America and it was a startup website (i.e., has since been corrected) their ethnic food is great. I am happy there is one less person there. I suppose that person won't go to most of the places I frequent.

                                                                1. re: Cathy
                                                                  Jacquilynne RE: Cathy Oct 7, 2009 11:32 AM

                                                                  I carefully consider the number of spelling mistakes on an "ethnic" menu before I order. If there aren't any, I tend to reconsider whether I want to eat there.

                                                                  1. re: Jacquilynne
                                                                    MMRuth RE: Jacquilynne Oct 7, 2009 11:52 AM


                                                                    1. re: Jacquilynne
                                                                      Cathy RE: Jacquilynne Oct 7, 2009 11:52 AM


                                                                      (The menu inside this particular place still has the misspellings...)

                                                                  2. re: Servorg
                                                                    Scargod RE: Servorg Oct 7, 2009 03:30 PM

                                                                    yeazur that sux like big dog i hate it 2 fyi¿ i uze a lot's o' semmi collons! no prob?

                                                                  3. re: NellyNel
                                                                    grayelf RE: NellyNel Oct 7, 2009 11:38 PM

                                                                    Nah, the person said overuse of colons was amateur. I put up a response suggesting that s/he was missing the point of the site (to talk about food) and couldn't resist asking him/her how many degrees in English s/he had (I have two) and then reported him/her and myself to the mods a couple hours later for deletion...

                                                                    Re: typos on menus -- the only one that drives me crazy is Ceaser for Caesar, and I've never seen that on any ethnic menus :-).

                                                                    1. re: grayelf
                                                                      chowser RE: grayelf Oct 8, 2009 04:51 AM

                                                                      I have to confess that when a poster points out someone else's grammatical errors, I scour that person's post for mistakes. ::::::-)

                                                                      1. re: chowser
                                                                        fourunder RE: chowser Oct 8, 2009 05:31 AM

                                                                        and more often than not.....you will usually find more than one....and also a few misspellings too.

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