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Feb 3, 2009 02:48 AM

Real or Imagined Funny Cocktails?

OK, for whatever reason I thought this was a good moment to ask you 'Hounds: what are your funniest cocktails?

A few years back, during a particularly memorable early AM earthquake here in L.A., my neighbor, in his wrecked, pitch-black kitchen, invented:

The Delirium Tremor:

"Two jiggers warm gin and whatever soda pop you can find in the house. Serve without ice after every aftershock until you stop shaking."

However my favorites are from P.J. O'Rourke (no shock, if you know me) and include:

The Clarabell Cocktail:

"Fill one guest with Scotch. Then squirt him in the face with a seltzer bottle."

and of course:

The Whiskey Sweet and Sour:

"Pour three ounces of blended whiskey in a Delmonico glass and stir in Chinese food to taste."

A silly topic, to be sure. Any takers? I can't wait to check back in six months or so . . .


P.S. - I recently saw an ice cube mold for sale online somewhere in the shape of a little ship for making "Gin and Titonics" (you add the mini frozen ocean liner to the glass amidst the "icebergs") and I think I'm going to buy them now!

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  1. That's pretty funny! Good post. I'll encourage others but I can't think of any myself...

    1. Dorothy Parker “I wish I could drink like a lady / I can take one or two at the most / Three and I'm under the table / Four and I'm under the host”

      (name needed) for people who are late to get ready while everyone else is waiting: one shot every minute we're all waiting until no one cares what they look like

      Actual drinks:
      Southern Buxom Orange: Orange Crush and Southern Comfort
      Java Junkie: coffee vodka with frangelico and a piercing of a maraschino cherry (if no coffee vodka, regular vodka plus 1t each of Frangelico+Kahlua)
      heard somewhere about Tang and Tang--Tanqueray and Tang

      1 Reply
      1. re: Caralien

        I've seen Parker's quote as :
        I like to have a martini,
        Two at the very most.
        After three I'm under the table,
        after four I'm under my host.

      2. Don't forget that festive Easter drink, the Pink Manhattan:

        1 Reply
        1. re: sku

          The New Yorker has come out with a few libations for the recession, including my new favorite the Nasdaquiri! Link here: