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I can't believe I ate the WHOLE thing!

The purpose of this post is NOT to elicit snarky negative replies about gluttony and the general state of mega poundage in the USA, so save those for another thread. This post is just for fun folks! FUN.

My daughter Katie is with her husband Paul's extended Mexican family in Puerto Vallarta this week.. Paul is about 6'3", and skinny as a bean pole. She wrote the following in an email home:

"Paul got his dinner for free last night. It was a real sight! We went to Las Palomas (in the marina), & found a 'super burrito' on the menu. It said that it was sooo big that if you ate it all, they'd give it to you for free. It sounded like a challenge. When the burrito came out, we were all a little doubtful that Paul could do it.....it was HUGE!!! Seriously, it was the size of a small child. But he ate the whole damned thing, no kidding! We thought he would have massive cha cha cha afterwards, but not so much. What an iron man I married!"

What excercises in culinary excess have you either witnessed or participated in? I'm not talking professional eating contests, like Philly's Wing Bowl or Nathan's famous hot dog eating contest; I'm talking strictly amature feats of eating amazement and virtuosity. Bring it on!

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  1. I ate an entire order of cheese sticks by myself for dinner the other night. But I'm pregnant - can I get a "that's ok" pass? :)

    3 Replies
    1. re: rockandroller1

      Honey, when you are pregnant, that's not eating virtuosity -- that's normal! Will you be naming your child "Brie"?

      1. re: PattiCakes

        LOL! Ironically, pg ladies are not "allowed" to have brie. Lucky for me I don't like it, so it's been no challenge to do without it. But I still eat feta. I highly doubt my Greek ancestors completely gave up feta while they were PG.

      2. re: rockandroller1

        That's ok R&R - seriously! When you're growing a human being you have the right to eat whatever makes you happy. Period. :)

      3. Well- I cannot keep eggplant parm in my house. Whenever I make it, I will eat it day and night untill it is gone- hot, cold or temp- doesn't matter. Love the stuiff!

        1 Reply
        1. re: macca

          oh my gosh i'm the same with eggplant parmingana i just can't stop eating it once its there it calls to me from the fridge i usually end up with a stomach ache its so addictive

        2. Someone bet me once I couldn't eat 50 mcnuggets in an hour. I won, it took about 15-20 mins.
          Someone else bet me that I couldn't eat two burritos from Chipotle. I was only able to finish one and about 90% of the second because he got them to really stuff the burritos. My burritos were about 1.5x the size of the burritos he brought back for my other coworkers.
          when i go eat sushi for lunch i average about 40 pieces which isn't too great (the record there is about 80 pieces and the guy was telling me that in japan he saw sumo wresters who put down 400-600 pieces at a time, with one guy managing about 900 pieces) but I don't really want to eat that much more at approx. 5 bucks a pop.

          1 Reply
          1. re: SomeRandomIdiot

            Reminds me of a first date I went on when I was 26 years old, 5'2", and weighed 95 pounds, soaking wet. I ordered a New York steak. When the waiter set it in front of me, my date bet me, saying "I have a dollar that say's you can't finish that steak." He was so shocked he forgot to pay up! By that time, I'd had at least 10 years experience.

          2. in my less then enlightened eating days, I once got cut off at an all-you-can-eat sushi bar! the chef, after giving me my 5th order of sushi(they were all 25-30 peices of nigiri each) just looked at me and said "you done!, I get you sake and beer, but no food!" to be honest I was full anyways, and took it as a compliment. Im pretty sure the reason I got cutoff was that the allyoucaneat was 31.95 and the a la carte pricing for the nigiri was something like 2.50/pc, avg.! the math on that one doesnt exactly pencil out for the restaurant!:)

            btw, also 6'2" and 165lbs.

            the other feat of gluttony that I can ascribe my name to was once eating 38 beef ribs in under an hour. I left that place not a happy camper!!

            1. On more than one occasion I've consumed an entire box of Little Debbie cakes in one evening. My only guilt is over the wasted packaging for the "individual servings."

              I have also been know to eat a whole pineapple at one time (minus skin and core, or course). No guilt, but acid burns in my mouth for sure.

              And naturally, there's the entire pint of Ben and Jerry's event.

              The greatest feat of gluttony I know of is the Krispy Kreme Challenge at NC State each year. Participants run 2 miles from campus to the Krispy Kreme shop, eat a dozen plain glazed donuts, and run back. If you finish in less than an hour without getting sick you get a t-shirt. I haven't done it yet, but I'm tempted. I know I could run the 4 mile course, and I know I can eat 12 KKs, I'm just not sure I can do both in an hour. I figure if I can do the first 2 miles in 15 minutes, that leaves me with 10-15 for the donuts and about 30 to power walk back...

              3 Replies
              1. re: mpjmph

                When I was at Iowa State they had a Krispy Kreme 5k. At every kilometer they had a Krispy Kreme station set up and for every doughnut you ate over teh course of the race you had a minute deducted from your time. A few people had some very low times.

                Speaking of Krispy Kremes, I think I've ate a dozen glazed in less than a day before. I find most doughnuts to be terrible when they are day old and just hate to waste the tasty deliciousness! That's why I very rarely buy them!

                1. re: mpjmph

                  When my son was in college, the Men's Track Team used to do an event every year to raise money. It was a PA State college, and track was a sport that was low one the funding tree. Ever cogniscent of their audience, they did a "Run, Chug & Puke". Yep, we've got a bunch of those tee shirts around here somewhere.

                2. oh my... I've recently eaten a whole McCain Deep & Delicious chocolate cake in one sitting. I just kept stabbing at it, and when there was only about a third left, I thought, "heck, why not finish it?" I was really full afterwards, but surprisingly felt not so bad. Probably because I had thrown away the wrapper indicating how many calories I had just consumed...

                  1. This isn't that impressive, but once when I came home after a night of drinking I found myself munching on a loaf of ciabbata. Next thing I knew, there was only a small hunk left... so I finished it, just to be able to say that I had eaten an entire loaf of bread in one sitting.

                    1. Remember when Planters made those cheese balls that were in a big can? It was on more than one occasion that I consumed the entire can in a day. So good yet so gross. Why does cheese flavored anything have to be so *orange*?

                      1. This makes me laugh. I cannot tell u how many times I've stopped eating something simply b/c I thought, "if I finish this folks are gonna talk". Ha!

                        I think I have a disorder. I don't really get "full". Especially if it's really tasty, I just don't typically experience that heavy, full feeling. Eventually good sense takes over and I put the fork down. But I could sit and chat and eat, and eat, and eat until the end of time. I never tested it but I do wonder how long I could go. Fortunately, I have good metabolism and I don't pack on the LBs despite my insatiable appetite. :)

                        3 Replies
                        1. re: lynnlato

                          While stationed in Korea my roomate and I each drank a case of OB , split a liter bottle of Soju, and proceeded to eat an entire mastiff the size of a Saint Bernard.

                          1. re: lynnlato

                            "Fortunately, I have good metabolism and I don't pack on the LBs despite my insatiable appetite. :)"
                            Lynn, that's not a disorder, it's a blessing...and every CHer's dream!

                            1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                              LOL! You're right, GHG, I'm very thankful. I'm sure it also has something to do with my Type 1 diabetes, which isn't so fabulous. And sometimes it's a bit torturous to want to keep eating but knowing I have to stop &/or take more insulin. It ruins the flow of the food and fun! But all in all, I'm pretty fortunate. :)

                          2. Whenever I make brownies, whether from a mix or from scratch, I just keep eating them while they are still warm and gooey. I don't finish the whole pan but I have come close. I am in denial that night, but when I wake up and decide to have a brownie for breakfast I almost always do a double take and think, surely I didn't eat all that. I think the pixies get into 'em whilst I sleep. :)

                            2 Replies
                            1. re: givemecarbs

                              Ha! I do that with rice krispy treats. It's amazing how little actually makes it into the pan. But my hands become possessed and I can't stop shoving clumps of warm, gooey rice krispy treat into my mouth. So delicious!!

                              1. re: jenhen2

                                ugh! reminds me of me and oatmeal cookie dough! I have to make a double batch of dough just to get a single batch of actual cookies. I have made myself feel less then stellar by literally eating BOWLS of raw cookie dough.......soooooo good, cant stop myself! sad really.

                            2. I was 4 months pregnant and decided to cook up some bacon one night to use in a breakfast casserole. I munched on a piece after it was cooked, then another piece, then another, and before I knew it I'd eaten the entire pound of bacon. For a 120 lb. girl, that's a LOT of bacon. I just blamed the baby though, saying he was hungry for bacon.

                              1 Reply
                              1. re: Raeviola

                                Oh dear. I made pierogies the other night & sauted a ton of onions & bacon pieces to put on top. I cannot (CANNOT) resist fried onions and bacon.

                              2. A couple of weeks ago, I was home alone and decided to order a medium pizza. I knew that I wouldn't eat nearly all of it, but I reasoned that I could put the rest in the fridge and spread it out over the next few meals. Turns out, they were having a special - the large pizza was actually cheaper than the medium. OK, so I'll get the large and spread it out over even more meals. Good deal! By the time I was finished eating, I had 1 measley piece of the large pie left. I was actually sort of proud...until the heartburn kicked in.

                                1. Once upon a time, a loooooooong looooooooong time ago, I came home from school one day and my mother had baked peanut butter cookies. You know, the kind with the crosshatch design on top from pressing with a dinner fork? Yeah. Those! And she must have made about 12 dozen of them. The entire kitchen table was covered with them! Some still too hot to eat, some warm, and some just waiting for Goldilocks (me) because they were "Just right!" So I called upstairs and asked her if I could have a couple of cookies. "Help yourself!" was her incredibly stupid answer! I poured a huge glass of milk and "helped myself." I think I may have eaten 11 dozen out of 12. It was something like thirty years before I could even consider putting another peanut butter cookie near my mouth! I still can't stand them if they're fresh from the oven. blech!

                                  1 Reply
                                  1. re: Caroline1

                                    When I was a teen, I was going to a cook out, and made potato salad. I made a bit more than 5 pounds- and packaged up 5 pounds for the party, leaving a bowl for one of my brothers, who LOVED potato salad. I told DAnny his salad was in the fridge- well- you guessed it- he ate the 5 pounds, and left me with nothing to bring to the cookout.. I still tease him about this!

                                  2. I won't be able to do this justice--ya kind of had to be there--but back in one of my past lives (not literally, but when I was a career woman), my organization sponsored a gala Champagne and dessert reception on the rooftop of the Bonaventure in Los Angeles. Now, we had a lot of guests that evening--about two thousand or so--but, the thing is, the LA Convention & Visitors Bureau had put a call out to all the bakeries, restaurants and purveyors of fine foods in the city to bring on their best stuff, to show off the best of LA's sweet cuisine. So...when the guests had left, the hotel had many, many beautiful cakes, pastries, confections left over. The food director, who for some reason had come to like us, directed the wait staff to carry dozens of those gorgeous, sumptuous, absolutely decadent creations out to our relatively small staff, and we proceeded to conduct ourselves as utter, complete, uncivilized pigs, running around with our shoes off, clothes, hair and collective dignity askew, stabbing forks into whole cakes and bombes and cream pies, eating them with abandon off the cake stands, feeding each other atop the Bonaventure, under the September stars. I can almost justify it by noting that there were still plenty of masterpieces left untouched, which the Bonaventure donated around the city the following day, but, sigh, in truth, it was the ultimate in undisciplined, unbridled, blissful gluttony. I was fairly young at the time, and my tummy was more resilient, but if I did it now, it would probably kill me, on the spot. Fortunately, the event photographers had vacated the premises with the rest of the guests. There are some things a lady does not wish to have preserved in a permanent record.

                                    12 Replies
                                    1. re: Steady Habits

                                      This little piggy went to market.
                                      This little piggy stayed home.
                                      THIS little piggy turned bright green with envy, and not the kind of green that helps the planet!

                                      The great part is you can't gain weight from memories. '-)

                                      1. re: Caroline1

                                        That's true, Caroline, but if you could...these are the ones that would do it. (Oooooh, that one Sachertorte, over there in the corner by the Cristal station. I dream of it yet.)

                                        1. re: Steady Habits

                                          Well, there may be room for doubt on the memories not being fattening. The most singularly discouraging news I can recall came as the result of an "obesity study" done in Holland about thirty or more years ago. The researchers drew blood from their volunteer subjects before and after they sent them walking past a bakery in full swing. Told them to breath deeply and enjoy the aroma of freshly baking bread, but do not eat anything. Their blood analysis showed that all subjects were pulling blood sugars and storing them as fat from simpling smelling the bread!

                                          To the best of my knowledge, no one has investigated what memory can do... I don't have a lot of hope for good news though. <sigh> I have long claimed that if God really loved women, he would have designed us so we had to eat a lot to stay thin. '-)

                                          1. re: Caroline1

                                            You know what...now that you've mentioned that study...isn't there a theory in bariatrics that fat cells themselves have memories? Like...if one even catches a sniff of sour cream, everything comes flooding back?

                                            As for your second point, I'm willing to to give on quantity, but if I could just have a little portion of Carbonara (and I mean the real stuff, not my cop-out version) and maybe a Napolean everyday, with impunity...<yes, sigh>.

                                            1. re: Steady Habits

                                              well if cells can have past lives, why not memories? (ps, "thank oprah" for that one!). ;-). next thing, they're gonna want a bailout or a free college educaton....

                                              1. re: alkapal

                                                As long as my proposed tax share of their tuition doesn't cut into my Callebaut budget--or there's gonna be a revolution.

                                      2. re: Steady Habits

                                        Can't you just see that as a scene incorporated into a movie???

                                        1. re: PattiCakes

                                          that's exactly what i was thinking - i got such a good visual from her description. but unlike Steady_Habits, i think it's sad that there were no photographs taken to capture such a rare & unique occasion of unbridled gustatory pleasure.

                                          1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                            Some moments in a person's life, even Yousuf Karsh himself lacked the gift to have captured, ghg. And I don't say that lightly.

                                            But if you'd like an accurate image, in your mind's eye, just picture a dozen or so young, energetic, exuberant, world-by-the-string 1980 Washington, DC, yuppies, recently liberated from the barbequed-beans-Presidency of Jimmy Carter by the elevation of Nancy Reagan into supervision of the Executive Mansion's Executive Chef, behaving as hedonistically as humans can with babas au rhum and vol au vent, and then multiply that image to the nth power. Although...we did stop short of rubbing ganache all over ourselves. We *never* would have wasted chocolate in that manner. Sugar, almond flour, fresh raspberries (still exotic to Easterners in those days) and creme fraiche, maybe, but chocolate was always the object of deep reverence.

                                            1. re: Steady Habits

                                              aah, yes...but the chocolate wouldn't have gone to waste if you had still eaten it after applying ;)

                                              1. re: goodhealthgourmet

                                                LOL. True, a workable compromise, but I don't think we were *ever* that patient, when presented with well prepared food. You should have seen the quantities we ordered *ensemble*, when working late. On second thought, I'm glad you didn't.

                                          2. re: PattiCakes

                                            I think they did, PattiCakes. Didn't you see Animal House?

                                        2. patticakes, your daughter's email, about the monstrosity 'super burrito' the size of a small child, reminded me of this "taco town" product: http://www.hulu.com/watch/1447/saturd...

                                          i always laugh!

                                          1 Reply
                                          1. re: alkapal

                                            ROTFLMAO! I wish I had a picture. All they had with them thnat night was a cell phone, so they have a picture on the celly half-way through burritomania, but nothing sequential on a real camera. If I can figure out how to post it, I will.

                                            They are back from the trip & I've had a chance to get more details. Apparently no one else in the restaurant made a big deal about it -- no cheering (other than from people in their own party), no clanging cow bells, no singing waiters. The manager did come over and check under the table to make sure Paul hadn't stashed food someplace other than in his belly. I figured he'd at least get a pinata dropping from the ceiling or a few mariachis. Just a free burrito & a lotta gas.