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Tis the season

This may get deleted, but I thought it was timely and I love hearing these stories. Anyone have any good holiday party stories, food for/at party stories or liquor at/for party stories?

I will start: Last night drinks party - maybe 20 people. Every time a man (who I did not know, but know his wife from the gym) tasted a new wine (which I think was 6 times) he would bang on his wine glass with an cheese knife and bring his hand up to silence the crowd and wait for what seemed like an eternity with his eyes closed/hand still up and say the name of the wine and its particulars and say something like: hint of citrus, slight complexity on the back of my palate........ blueberry..... no...... rasberry aftertaste. All the while clicking his tongue to his roof of is mouth and blowing and poofing! Occasionally he would roll his eyes to the back of his head and his eyes would flutter like he was having a seizure. The first couple times everyone sort of listened with curiosity and minded his demands for quiet attention, but then people were listening still, but then making their own wine comments which was creating a lot of snorting and laughing, but the man did not seem to notice that he was being made fun of and continued. Our neighbor kept on calling him "frazier" - but the wine man just kept correcting him.

It was the highlight of the party. People have been calling each other all morning talking about it. Maybe it is mean, but it just still makes me laugh.

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  1. Most recently, the self-proclaimed foodie announcing that he and his wife live off of Lean Cuisine, which they buy in bulk at Costco.

    2 Replies
    1. re: Caralien

      I always feel like I am being punished when I eat those. So I defeat the purpose by doping it up... usually with cheese. Oink!@

      1. re: Sal Vanilla

        He he! Great thread! I do that to Sal, with butter. :)

    2. That is hysterical. I'd make sure to invite him to all parties. Free entertainment. What was his wife's reaction?!? Poor her. She has to live with him. Eek.

      3 Replies
      1. re: c oliver

        She was completely oblivious. My husband, Mr. Cynical Snideypants, sez she must be on a valium drip feed. It would have been way funnier if she were hanging on his every word. She instead hung on me (because she only knew me and the woman throwing the party), so I, Mrs. Sowants 2b Bitchy and Catty could not join in the reindeer games. The only thing I got in was "I dunno about it tasting of vanilla... it just tastes like more". Feeb. I know.

        1. re: Sal Vanilla

          Too bad someone else didn't beat him to it -- "ah yes, flowery, full-bodied flavor, with a hint of oakiness. You can taste the smokey overtones from the lava rocks over which the water flows to get to the grape vines in the valley below.....). Or you could have slipped him some Ripple. I went to a busness dinner with a fellow like that once -- table of 20, and he insisted on ordering the wine, then educating all of us on it as the night proceded. Glass by glass. If he hadn't been such a supercilious twit, it might have been interesting. He also claimed to have been partialy responsible for having invented the internet.

      2. The time I brought a hitch-hiker home for Christmas. It was snowing, he was old..and he did have a slight beard. My mom and dad put him up at a local hotel and gave him some clean clothes. He flirted with my gramma..she laughed. He was hilarious...and toothless. When he was set to leave, we drove him to the truckstop and never heard from him again. Some of the guests were shocked...but it was a great Christmas dinner and after-party.

        1 Reply
        1. re: melly

          bless you. What a lovely thing to do.

        2. If you got it on video and put it on youtube, I bet it would be an instant sensation... LOL!!

          I remember one Christmas Party for my husbands company, where the "lower level" employees got cheap and cheesy prizes like $10 gift cards to local chain restaurants, and the managers and high up staffers who made 6 figure salaries won the vacation trips to Europe (this was supposed to be a draw from the hat prize event... yeah right) I got so peeved I ripped up one of the cruddy $10 prizes and threw it in the face of the company president telling him he was a (insert derogatory swear here). Think he got my point?

          Ahhh... gotta love open bar Christmas parties!

          5 Replies
          1. re: gryphonskeeper

            No you didn't? Really? LOL What happened next? You can't just leave us hanging GK. Were you fired? Wow... it's sort of reminiscent of Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation. :)

            1. re: lynnlato

              It was for my hubbies Christmas party.. LOL! The president could not do a darn thing because I was not an employee, and he had no idea who I was :) Not to mention about 10 other people decided to rip up their prizes as well, and leave them in the comment box at work.

              :D

              1. re: gryphonskeeper

                You reminded me of something I haven't thought of for a long time. At one of my first jobs after I got married, a long time ago, during the lead up to Christmas, there was an extra sparkle around the office. Finally the big day came. Everyone was called into the owner's office, one by one. They all had that cat that swallowed the canary look. I couldn't figure it out. Then I got called into the presence. He gave me a check and some inspiring words. It was a Christmas Bonus. The check was for thirteen dollars and some change. It was meant to be a fifteen dollar bonus, but they had to take out taxes. Young as I was, I had a hard time not laughing.

                I guess this has nothing to do with food, just Christmas.

                1. re: yayadave

                  Ugh, don;t you just friggen hate that? Even a cruddy $15 bonus gets tapped by the gimme government vacuum, making it even a bigger insult.

                  I had a "Christmas Bonus" one year of a frozen 10 lb turkey (I kid you not) I was miffed, because at the time I was a solid vegetarian! I wanted to leave it under the Christmas Tree in the lobby at work (Which the office closed the entire week of Christmas until Jan 2nd) I know it would have been pretty ripe by the time they opened the office back up, Ah, hindsight is 20/20 aint't it?

                  1. re: gryphonskeeper

                    I was thinking that it would not have been that hard for the book keeper to have figured out that sixteen dollars and so many cents would have equaled out to an actual check of fifteen dollars for the dumb kid's bonus. Was the extra buck and a half going to ruin them?

          2. I have to remember a very, very snowy Christmas in Denver. It snowed and snowed and snowed some more. We had about 2 or 3 feet of snow. We cross-country skied down one of the (normally) busiest streets in the City (including at least 5 big dogs) to see if we could find beer and wine (we did). We had planned a dinner for about 12 or so and added enough extra stuff to serve 25 or so. We had a stranded metro bus driver, a taxi driver, a cop, a fire crew and I don't remember who else. It was quite a dinner and quite a party. Nobody could get home so there were lots of people sleeping on couches and on the floor. Snow was so deep that the dogs (all big) didnt want to go out--had to drag them out. I wish I had pictures.