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You might look into the Italian Wine Merchants, whose owners include Mario Batali and Joe Bastianich. They have a lovely room that we've often thought would be nice for a private party. I have no idea of the cost, however.
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re: MMRuth
just booked a wine tasting dinner for 8 people at Italian Wine Merchants in one of their private rooms. The sommeliers are really good (knowledgeable, fun, etc) and they know how to pair food and wine. I chose the menu in advance (it's a tasting menu) and then they will get back to me next week with recommended wine pairings. They say to assume 1 bottle of wine per person at a cost of appx $75 per bottle (could be more or less depending on what we end up choosing and whether or not you have heavy drinkers). The dinner itself is around $100/pp, plus wine, service charge, etc - I'm estimating around $200/pp. It might be more than you are willing to spend, but if you choose less expensive wine, you might be able to stay within budget.
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i would love to get some responses to this question as i am looking for something similar. i do know that many restaurants will do this for you upon request. my group had a dinner at tribeca grill 2 years ago. it wasn't in a private room but we had a large table for our group plus we each had 4 or 5 glasses of wine at a time. they paired each course with different wine. i know otto does something like this but i imagine you are looking for something nicer.
hounders, any thoughts?
