HOME > Chowhound > Not About Food >

Discussion

Has Dear Abby lost her mind?

So for the first time in years, I read Dear Abby. A reader called "Some like it Hot" writes

"My wife accuses me of "acting pretentious" when we are dinner guests at a friends's home and I warm my plate in the microwave. What am I supposed to do when the food has gone cold or lukewarm and I want my meal hot?"

Abby responds that she likes hot food too and to handle it by asking the hostess if it is ok to take it into the kitchen to zap.

I'm sorry, but this is just rude. Suck it up. Unless this guy is eating weekly or daily there, don't insult your host by telling them the food is too cold for your taste.

Of course, they could be really, really good friends and this is sort of a compliment that you feel comfortable enough to be 'at home' at their table.

Still, there are better ways to handle it, IMO.

When these people are guests in your home, serve piping hot dishes and if one starts to cool mention how you dislike lukewarm food, apoligize and heat it up.

Or just bring up food temperature preferances in general conversation, not during dinner. Complain about a restaurant that served lukewarm food ... or how embarassed you were when a dish you served went lukewarm ... how you hate buffets because the food is too cold ... something. A savy person AND friend will pick up on this and make an effort to serve a meal that is warm enough for you. If not ... suck it up.

  1. Click to Upload a photo (10 MB limit)
Delete
  1. As you say, depends on how close the friendship is and how casual the occasion is.

    With close friends, we're probably in the kitchen helping and offer to warm their dinner plates in the microwave before they plate the food. And we help run the plates to the dinner table so everyone can sit down together and enjoy hot food while it's still hot.

    Otherwise, suck it up!

    1. I always prewarm the plates in the micro unless it's a cold meal. I would not rewarm any meal in the micro as most of the things I eat suffer from microwaving (I.E. meat, fish, chix), even if at a very close friend's home. My uncle regularly send soups back in restaurants because they are not hot enough for his liking. He is very specific, though, when ordering: "I want it PIPING, PIPING HOT. I mean PIPING HOT". I'm never embarrassed because he did specify to the waitstaff so the owness is on them as far as I'm concerned. Myself, I usually just suck it up.

      1 Reply
      1. re: diablo

        I agree there are few things I would re-warm in a microwave ... and I'm a microwave fan. I also have no problem with specifying temperature at a restuarant. However, as a guest, it is a different thing.

      2. I agree, depends on how close the friendship/family connection... and how casual. It could come off as complaining about the host and how swift they are in the kitchen.

        This could cause a major disruption in the meal. Not all plates or bowls etc, CAN go into the microwave, and therefore the food would probably have to be transferred onto some other heating dish, taking the host away again etc.

        Besides...sometimes we use that space in the microwave to hide stuff.... XD

        1. the jfoods had a fantastic night at friends the other night. four hours of great conversation, politics, golf, kids, economy, plus an incredible amount of food pushing, ate just enough not to embarass the host, get the drift. And when they got home at 1130, they grabbed some bread, some PB&J and watched Letterman. A perfect night.

          The guest should never re-heat, re-sauce or do any of that stuff EXCEPT in homes where they are basically family. So for 99.9% of the time, suck it up and eat eanough to not embarass and never criticize temp or quality.

          Jfood

          1. Abby has lost it. Absolutely suck it up, enjoy the company, wine and music if not the food. I wouldn't even mention food temp in general conversation for fear of embarrassing or offending my hosts.

            I cannot remember what movie it was, but I remember a scene with a line of people going through an outdoor Thanksgiving buffet with two microwaves at the end to heat their food. I doubt that would really be an acceptable social event for Dear Abby!

            2 Replies
            1. re: oldbaycupcake

              Is she still alive, Abby I mean? Her advice might now be written by a bot.

              Of course, the correct advice would be to suck it up.

              1. re: dolores

                The original Dear Abbey died a few years ago and her daughter took over the column. Her mama taught her better than that.