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Oct 15, 2008 08:18 PM

How to deal with food complainers?

Hubby and I went out to lunch today with friends that we enjoy. However, the wife couldn't decide what she wants, lets hubby order, tastes his food, ends up eating it, and he has to order something else, and has to wait for it. It is a little annoying.

But the biggest thing is she constantly says this is fattening, or not healthy, or telling her husband not eat this, which he ignores. It is a major turnoff to hubby and me, we enjoy our food as well as does her husband, and if she chooses not to eat that's fine, but I don't want to here her constant chatter about unhealthy food or telling her husband not to eat through out the whole meal.

Is there anything I can say, or do I just keep my mouth shut? I know some people will say not to go out with them, which we would like to try to avoid.

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  1. There is nothing you can say that will make any difference. If these are good friends, join them for an activity that does not involve eating.

    1. how about "stop"?

      a lot of the time people are completely oblivious to the effect their mindless chatter has on others. What she is doing is passive aggressive and more then just a little bit condecending. As if she knows more then you do, and you need her guidance. A simple "please stop. we heard you the first time" should be blunt enough to jar her into realizing what she sounds like.......if that doesnt work, well......stop eating with them!

      1. Let her pick the restaurant next time and see if it makes a difference.

        1 Reply
        1. re: HillJ

          If all else fails, don't forget to laugh. It might not always be easy but HUMOR is a great leveler. Sam's suggestion would work with my husbands crowd but not mine.

        2. Well, you cannot change her. But you can establish better boundaries for yourselves.

          If she is a person you actually have an active friendship with, then the health of your relationship can in part measured by whether you can provide her feedback and accept her reaction to your feedback.

          If this is more of a friendly rather than genuine friendship, I might instead opt for non-eating activities with them in the future.

          1. just tune her and her noise out.