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Sep 23, 2008 03:49 PM

Host etiquette regarding no-show guests?

What should the host do about no-show guests? I had a dinner party this past weekend where I invited 8 guests. One couple did not show up after they e-mailed to say they were coming. I have not heard from them at all, not even an e-mail saying why they couldn't make it.

I am a little annoyed as I did send out a reminder 3 days before the dinner party, so if they couldn't have made it for whatever reason they should have said something then. Should I e-mail and ask if everything is ok and subtly point out they were no-shows? Or should I just leave it and remind myself never to invite them again? They are not close friends but I have known for over a year and see them from time to time through a mutual couple.

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  1. well, personally if someone didnt end up in the hospital or jail, there is no excuse for this! Its arrogant, entitled and just plain crass. without a bail bonds reciept or a fresh IV wound, they would be off my list.

    1. I would send them email to tell them they were missed by all and ask them if they were ok that evening.

      1 Reply
      1. re: roadfix

        what he said, and depending on their reason I'd consider not inviting them again.

      2. Don't send an email. You don't know them well, and you'll be able to find out from your mutual friends if something catastrophic did indeed befall the no-shows. Just blacklist them forever, silently.

        3 Replies
        1. re: slacker

          I think I would send an email, more because I would be question, the reminder notice...did this couple respond?

          1. re: slacker

            I agree with you. I don't see what an email could accomplish, other than making them defensive. If there truly were an emergency that prevented them from attending, I imagine the host would have heard of it by now, either from teh mutual friends or from the missing guests themselves.

            1. re: Cachetes

              OOhh!!! Humans behaving very badly!! I agree with most peeps that shy of a car accident, premature labor, or somesuch catastrophe, the No-shows owed you a phone call, an explanation and an apology. Especially since they said they were coming AND you sent a reminder e-mail. Boors....

          2. I would still act like a host - call them to say you missed them and hope that everything was alright. Yes they acted poorly but they may have a legitimate reason and feel embarrassed.

            1 Reply
            1. re: scoopG

              This is a good response. Act like a good host and Email to ensure nothing was wrong and hope they are all OK. If that doesn't provoke a response from them, *then* write them off.

              If they are just acquaintances you see on occasion throughout a year, the OP might not have heard through the grapevine why they didn't/couldn't attend.

            2. Gosh, something like this happening would totally annoy me. I wouldn't invite them again.
              Think I would be tempted to email them but figure it would be better to just leave it, I don't like hounding people and in the end they were invited and didn't call/respond or make any contact to apologize or ANYTHING, it's their fault.