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Sep 16, 2008 01:57 PM

"The Ten Best Seduction Techniques", # 3

Recently published, but it sounds sooo 20th century ...

Expensive Dining

"This is good for a gentleman who intends to pick up the bill on the first date. Make sure you take your date to an expensive restaurant with an atmosphere like the one you wish to project - be it elegant, upbeat, cool or arty. Atmosphere is important because she will transfer her feelings about the room to you. It may be superficial, but women tend to judge a man on the first place he takes them."

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  1. Better still, learn how to cook a few really good meals and invite her over:

    1. It's cheaper than a restaurant
    2. It will impress her that you know how to cook
    3.(most important) You've already got her to your place!

    What more could you ask? (PS.go easy on the garlic!)

    4 Replies
    1. re: FriedClamFanatic

      Yeah, I've always wondered why people are so eager to go out for Valentine's Day when it's so much more *ahem* romantic to be at home. ;-)

      1. re: FriedClamFanatic

        I would MUCH rather prefer this...even if the meal wasn't that great.

        The old adage "It's the thought that counts" is so true

        1. re: FriedClamFanatic

          Maybe it's just me, but I can think of lots and lots of reasons why a girl wouldn't come over for a home-cooked meal on the first date.

          I think we men look at #3 as a bonus, and most women look at it as a negative.

          1. re: FriedClamFanatic

            I would not want to go over to a guy's house on the first date. There are too many safety issues involved and it's much harder to make my escape if the date goes badly.

            As to slacker's comment below about guys not always paying, if a girl asks the guy out, it is not so typical that he should pay. If the guy is intending to pay on the first date, I would not think highly of him if he plans to blow that much on the first time out. Take me to a delicious, non-chain restaurant instead.

          2. "This is good for a gentleman who intends to pick up the bill on the first date."

            Are there guys out there who don't pick up the tab on date number 1?

            4 Replies
            1. re: slacker

              only if you're in college or younger......

              1. re: slacker

                HAHA Yeah, right.
                I have an ex who never treated me out.

                Guess that's why he's an ex. :)

                  1. re: slacker

                    If I never plan on seeing him again - I'll insist on paying. Funny how some guys think that paying for a meal requires something in return (like another date).

                    Dating is so much fun . . .

                  2. I can see the point, but doesn't casting and imprinting an image like that upon your possible love interest on the first date set a very very high and unrealistic bar? I'm thinking greasy Donald Trump with that freakish flopped-over do escorting his twentieth potential bimbo wife through the restaurant blurting, "Look out the windows, baby - it's all mine..." I'm trailing along with my date thinking, "Geez - how do I top this one the next time around?"

                    4 Replies
                    1. re: bulavinaka

                      Frankly, a really expensive restaurant on a first date would make me very uncomfortable. Kind of like I "owed" the guy something. (Maybe that's the goal?) I also would not go to a guy's house for dinner on a first date, unless I already knew him first as a friend or through my network of friends.
                      I would be much happier in a restaurant that is mid-range or just unusal, or even a fun dive with good food, then feeling the pressure of a very expensive meal. I would kill to go to French Laundry. But I would hate to go there on a first date with someone. That is an experience I want to share with someone I know very well.

                      1. re: bulavinaka

                        I think it would make me nervous if my date went all SWANK for the first date. Like it is not nerve racking enough, now I have to be on my best fine dining behavior? Too much pressure and would make me uncomfortable....I'm also with the others on not going to his place on the first date, no thanks...I fear I would sneaking into the kitchen checking his freezer for human heads. Mid range casual would be best for me.

                        1. re: bulavinaka

                          This is why I always made the "first date" meal a bacon wrapped hot dog from one of our ubiquitous LA vendor cart's. Plus it gives you some time to watch your date's ability to handle...err - never mind. ;-D

                          1. re: Servorg

                            Closing the door behind me... do tell...

                        2. I'm not crazy about going to a very expensive restaurant on the first date. To me, it says he's really insecure. What will really impress me is if he was thoughtful -- ie. mentioned in passing how much I've loved nutella bombolini, and find out that he's taken me to a place where they served it. That said, I probably wouldn't be too impressed if he wanted to take me to a 5 for $1 dumpling place for our first date either.

                          And unless I knew the guy very well, I probably would not be going to a guy's place for the first date (though I have done it once in the past). This guy must have read a lot of Details and GQ magazines because I felt it was like a total set-up -- trying to impress a woman without having her think that you're trying. He made caprese salad, pasta in vodka sauce (purchased from Citarella), drinking his wines (he owned a vineyard) and dined on the rooftop of his building overlooking the bridge and water while watching the sunset. He then had his driver drive me home. I'm sure a lot of girls would have been really impressed, but it just made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

                          1. Males pay for dinner? Really? I don't mean brothers or friends -- males as in: heterosexual, of opposite sex, and romantic interest? Who? Where??

                            The best way to impress someone is to be a friend. Action movies, the best wine or scotch you can afford, and Chinese takeout. Strange combo, but warms the heart.